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Speaker 1: My grandson sucks and I'd rather school but dive than

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Speaker 1: see him.

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Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I'd rather be three thousand feet at the bottom of

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Speaker 1: the ocean than have to deal with your sorry sack

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Speaker 1: of shit. I Mail twenty seven have a son, Jake

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Speaker 1: Mail twenty six, who has his own son, Mike five.

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Speaker 1: Jake's mother and I only had a short term relationship

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Speaker 1: and it was an accidental pregnancy. To be blunt, I

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Speaker 1: never wanted to be a parent, yikes, particularly not at

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Speaker 1: twenty one. However, Jake's mother did and it wasn't my decision. Man,

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Speaker 1: tell us how you really feel. That kid never reads

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Speaker 1: this story. Although we have always kept peace, things have

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Speaker 1: always been icy between us due to that. However, I've

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Speaker 1: always tried to do right by Jake. I would have

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Speaker 1: him every other weekend for a month during the summer.

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Speaker 1: I would do my best to deliver on anything he

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Speaker 1: asked of me, treated him kindly, and tried to be

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Speaker 1: a good father. See when you say I tried to

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Speaker 1: be a good father, it just feels like you're not Man. Well,

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Speaker 1: the thing is, Man never wanted to be a father, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and he's trying his best to be one.

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Speaker 2: That's all you can ask.

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Speaker 1: Then, at a certain point, his mother married a guy

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Speaker 1: Jake hated, and I had him move in with me

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Speaker 1: once he was thirteen.

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Speaker 2: I won't lie. I wasn't cut out to be a parent.

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Speaker 2: I need over here, get an itchy forehead.

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Speaker 1: I love Jake, but I just hated parenting. I did

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Speaker 1: it anyway since he was my son. We have a

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Speaker 1: very good relationship and I've never shirked any responsibility to him.

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Speaker 1: Jake also became a father of twenty one. However, he

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Speaker 1: was all for it and happily married to Mike's mother.

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Speaker 2: Mike is the kid right like whatld on Who's mom?

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Speaker 1: I also got him into my electricians union and had

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Speaker 1: him set up on some good jobs, so he was

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Speaker 1: on a much much better footing than I was for

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Speaker 1: a child back then. We had a long talk and

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Speaker 1: I told him, Jake, being a parent is a very

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Speaker 1: very different life. It's hard, exhausting, and on a day

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Speaker 1: to day basis, you don't really get to do much

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Speaker 1: of what you want.

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Speaker 2: To do, and I hate it, and I hate it.

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Speaker 1: It will be a very long time before you don't

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Speaker 1: have that kind of responsibility anymore.

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Speaker 2: Basically, parenting you sucked balls.

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Speaker 1: I mean his right to us an extent, like parenting

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Speaker 1: is a difficult endeavor you and you will like what

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Speaker 1: he's like to change. You won't have that kind of

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Speaker 1: freedom for a lot of time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Then the conversation turned to how I would help him parent.

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Speaker 1: I told him no, my parenting is done, sir. I

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Speaker 1: have clocked out. I am retired from parenting. I am

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Speaker 1: turning back to my own life. He has his own home, union, job,

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Speaker 1: is engaged and adult enough to decide to have a baby,

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Speaker 1: and literally the exact same age that Op was. He

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Speaker 1: can't even be like, oh, man, like you know you

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Speaker 1: were so much for No, you were literally the exact

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Speaker 1: same place in life I was.

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Speaker 2: He's the adult. Now he's the parent.

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Speaker 1: All be around and if there's any emergencies, obviously I'll

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Speaker 1: do what I can, but I won't be called an

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Speaker 1: active grandparent.

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Speaker 2: I've largely held to it.

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Speaker 1: I have been doing a lot of travel, I have

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Speaker 1: a girl friend, hobbies, and to be blunt, I'm doing

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Speaker 1: all the things I didn't get to do in my twenties.

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Speaker 1: Do I seek Jake and his family, Yes, However I

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Speaker 1: rarely agree to babysit Jake resents that I don't go

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Speaker 1: to Mike's games. They tend to conflict with my weightlifting club.

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Speaker 1: He's just getting jacked and like has like a girlfriend

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Speaker 1: traveling the world. Yeah, sorry, buddy, but oh, Grandpa's gotta

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Speaker 1: pump the iron of pump old grandma, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, and is just generally angry that I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: hands off with Mike. Things came to a head last

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Speaker 1: week when Mike had a baseball tournament and I refuse

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Speaker 1: to go because I had plans to take a scuba

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Speaker 1: class with my girlfriend, which admittedly could have been her scheduled.

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell Jake this, but I spent so many

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Speaker 1: saturdays bored out of my skull watching Little League when

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Speaker 1: Jake was little. I always cheered loudly, was crazy supportive,

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Speaker 1: and never let on that it was like watching paint dry.

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Speaker 2: Damn.

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Speaker 1: Really didn't want to be a dad, but this is

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Speaker 1: no longer my responsibility.

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Speaker 2: So I told him, Jake, I've done twenty years of parenting.

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Speaker 2: That's enough.

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Speaker 1: He then yelled at me that I'm always going and

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Speaker 1: jetting around, playing like a teenager and not putting him first.

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Speaker 1: I told him no, that I wasn't. I did that

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Speaker 1: for twenty years to get him on his feet as

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Speaker 1: an adult. I've done that and now I can go

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Speaker 1: back to prioritizing my own life. So is he the

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Speaker 1: a hole? Is he the a hole? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Man, this is a tricky one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because like how he describes all this shit is

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Speaker 1: very assholeish, but like logically, like I feel like he's

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Speaker 1: done everything right and he's just being very honest about

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Speaker 1: how he's felt about doing everything that he's done. And

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Speaker 1: in his defense and in fairness, we have read so

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Speaker 1: many stories about you know, like new young parents where

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Speaker 1: they are literally like trying to make the grand parents

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Speaker 1: basically be the parents, like literally sending them to there

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Speaker 1: all day every day, and they're like, you know, getting

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Speaker 1: older all this stuff, So that could happen. I guess

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Speaker 1: I think if you decide to have a child, it's

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Speaker 1: your responsibility. Yes, often grandparents, you know, your parents do help,

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Speaker 1: Like I know my parents want to be active when

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Speaker 1: I have kids. Me having a child isn't completely dependent

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Speaker 1: on my parents being able to help. He put in

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Speaker 1: twenty years, man, his time, did his time, so did it.

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Speaker 1: I think he's not the ahole in his actions and

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Speaker 1: boundary setting, but just just his way with words. Yes,

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Speaker 1: he just paints himself as asks. Yeah, he's just being

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Speaker 1: very honest emotions. I think he's setting a reasonable boundary. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to know what your thoughts are, and also like,

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Speaker 1: is there any moral responsibility on parenting for grandparents? I

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Speaker 1: want to know what your thoughts are. Put your answers

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Speaker 1: in the comments. How involved were you your grandparents when

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Speaker 1: you were growing up? Well, we'll see you in the

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Speaker 1: next one. A burglar stole your baby? I lied, but

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Speaker 1: the parents did something way worse. Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: I want to see what's worse? Burglar? Burglar? I mean

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Speaker 2: a baby is a baby still? Okay? You know who knows?

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe the burglar adopted the baby and they can

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Speaker 1: grow up to be thieves and it's actually like.

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Speaker 2: A cute woe. I'ld watch that movie. I'm just saying.

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Speaker 2: I am fifteen years old.

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Speaker 1: God, no one should be giving fifteen year old Why

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Speaker 1: are fifteen year olds allowed to watch living children? Like

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't trust a fifteen year old to drive a car,

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Speaker 1: but you would give your baby to it. We used

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Speaker 1: to have like twelve and thirteen year old babysitter. That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. It is kind of wild, like you would

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Speaker 1: allow a thirteen year old, like you think of thirteen

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Speaker 1: year old's mature enough to like look over the house

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Speaker 1: and a human child. It is while you know you

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Speaker 1: are convincing me. Yeah, fucking nuts. I'm getting to professionals

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Speaker 1: to deal with my babies. I have fifteen years old

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Speaker 1: and my babysit.

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Speaker 2: To make money.

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Speaker 1: I took a first aid course and a babysitting course,

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Speaker 1: so she's qualified.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what is that's an online one hour class? Like

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Speaker 2: kill the baby? All right, you're good to go. Cool.

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Speaker 1: Last weekend, one of my little sister's classmates' parents had

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Speaker 1: a wedding to go to and asked if I would babysits.

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Speaker 1: I asked how late they would need me, and if

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Speaker 1: I should pack in overnight bag if they were going

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Speaker 1: to stay.

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Speaker 2: Out all night.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, They said they would be home by midnight,

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Speaker 1: which is pretty late. So I checked with my dad

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Speaker 1: if it was okay because she's fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Just you can't let it go. That's hilarious because my

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Speaker 2: dad is my ride.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want me alone in a car with adults

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't know, so he offered to pick me

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Speaker 1: up at eleven fifty. The kids were all asleep and

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Speaker 1: I was watching TV. I texted them at eleven pm

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Speaker 1: to double check they would be there on time. The

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Speaker 1: mom texted me back, yes, twelve thirty they still aren't there.

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Speaker 2: Oh. I texted again. No answer. That's bad.

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Speaker 1: I called my dad and he is pissed, not at me,

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Speaker 1: but at the parents.

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Speaker 2: One o'clock I.

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Speaker 1: Call him, no answer. My dad went to get a

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Speaker 1: coffee and then came back. He is calm, not good,

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Speaker 1: but he's ready to blow. I texted every fifteen minutes,

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Speaker 1: no response. Wow, two twenty am. Either these parents are

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Speaker 1: just like fucking until you know, way late into the night,

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Speaker 1: or what if they just was It was all in

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Speaker 1: elaborate ruse to get Opete Razors child.

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Speaker 2: We're done with these kids. We're out. We're out in

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Speaker 2: parents now. I have an idea.

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Speaker 1: At two twenty am, I texted them that someone tried

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Speaker 1: to break into their garage, but the alarm scared them away.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, they were home drunk in an uber

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Speaker 1: in fifteen minutes.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: My dad made them pay me for my extra time

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Speaker 1: before we left. He told me that I'm not allowed

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Speaker 1: to babysit for them again unless I charged them for

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Speaker 1: an overnight stay. Yesterday at school, I saw the mom

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Speaker 1: when I was picking up my sister m.

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Speaker 2: She gave me shit for scaring her and her.

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Speaker 1: Husband because they had checked their security cameras and saw

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Speaker 1: no one tried to break in. Oh dang, I said, sorry,

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Speaker 1: the alarm went off, so I called you. She called

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Speaker 1: me a liar, which is fair, I mean, but I

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Speaker 1: don't feel bad about what I did. They lied first.

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Speaker 1: My mom says I should have just sucked it up,

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Speaker 1: but my dad says, they broke our deal. I kind

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Speaker 1: of feel bad for tricking them into coming home from

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Speaker 1: their party, but they could have told me it was

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Speaker 1: an overnight or texted me that they were going to

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Speaker 1: be late, which is completely true. Just send a text

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Speaker 1: to the woman. Yeah, but child at a fifteen year

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Speaker 1: old that's in charge of I mean, honestly, the fifteen

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Speaker 1: year old's.

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Speaker 2: More responsible than these parents. I guess.

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Speaker 1: So actually low key though, but I also loved the

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Speaker 1: line where she was like, uh, they lied first, so

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Speaker 1: I hit him with the other lie, like that's classic,

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Speaker 1: classic or whatever. Honestly, I think she went to the burglary.

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Speaker 1: That's too much. Yeah, that's too much, But like how

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Speaker 1: else do you get their attention? Or just ask your

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Speaker 1: dad for an overnight bag and say, hey, I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna stay here. I would yeah, like like you guys

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Speaker 1: are going to pay me? H, like if you don't

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Speaker 1: want to pay me, you know for a full night

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Speaker 1: and extra or whatever, like you know, I don't.

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Speaker 2: Know, just anything but that. Yeah, that was a little much.

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Speaker 1: But that that on the parents though for like not

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Speaker 1: being terrible. I mean they were definitely and probably they

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Speaker 1: were like, hey, maybe we can like because she's like fifteen,

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Speaker 1: or maybe we can get away with like staying out,

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Speaker 1: getting drunk and then just like paying her ship shy, yep,

220
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,280
Speaker 1: pay your fifteen year old babysitter, that's right, or does

221
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 1: not hire him,