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Speaker 1: Kabooms.

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Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes

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Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants

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Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He

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Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the

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Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse

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Speaker 2: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth

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Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

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Speaker 3: In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben

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Speaker 3: Mahler and Danny g radio along.

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Speaker 1: He'll join us at some point over the weekend.

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Speaker 3: As we are settling on this Friday, the eighteenth day

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Speaker 3: of July, early in the am, as we get the

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Speaker 3: party started.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: I was away from my post last night as I

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Speaker 3: guard the overnight, and I did not fly the Red

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Speaker 3: Eye flight. This was not my decision, it was by request.

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Speaker 3: The wife had requested that I take the night off.

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Speaker 3: We had some plans, so I did take the night off.

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Speaker 3: But the podcast, which you can do anywhere, including the

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Speaker 3: super secret location I am at right now, I will

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Speaker 3: not reveal my identity as far as where I am,

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Speaker 3: but you can do these kind of podcasts anywhere.

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Speaker 1: So we're hanging out.

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Speaker 3: It is National Sour Candy Day to day on this Friday,

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Speaker 3: very exciting unless it's not. Now, I do like these

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Speaker 3: fun facts about these dopey holidays. So I went back

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Speaker 3: down a rabbit hole kind of looking at various fun

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Speaker 3: facts about candy, and there were a couple of things

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Speaker 3: that stood out in my due diligence that in the

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Speaker 3: early days of America, you talk about candy being consumed

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Speaker 3: by the masses, there was pretty basic candy. The people

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Speaker 3: that made the candy did not want to risk losing

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Speaker 3: credibility with the customer, so they wouldn't try anything new.

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Speaker 3: Now I mentioned it's National Sour Candy Day today, and

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Speaker 3: one of the other big events was in the nineteen fifties.

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Speaker 3: If you're of a certain age, you probably know about this.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't aware of it. I always thought since the

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Speaker 3: beginning of time, going back to the Middle Ages and

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Speaker 3: before that, when it was Halloween time, you just gave

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Speaker 3: out candy. But this was actually a brilliant marketing move

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Speaker 3: by the people that make candy. They're like, listen, we

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Speaker 3: are guaranteed in the end of October. October thirty first,

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Speaker 3: on Nick Saban's birthday, to move a ton of product

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Speaker 3: if we can combine the Halloween holiday and you must

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Speaker 3: give candy to the kids. And so in the nineteen

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Speaker 3: fifties that became mainstream. The people that made the candy

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Speaker 3: created campaigns, marketing camp is to link Halloween and candy together,

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Speaker 3: and you can't say no to that because it's for

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Speaker 3: the children.

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Speaker 1: And that was a defining.

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Speaker 3: Point, a point of demarcation with the people that made

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Speaker 3: the candy were like, well, we don't have to really

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Speaker 3: worry about credibility because we're selling so much candy.

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Speaker 1: We can try some different crap.

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Speaker 3: And in the nineteen fifties one of the things that

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Speaker 3: came out was the atomic fireball, so like a kind

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Speaker 3: of a tart taste. Those things are still around. I

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Speaker 3: don't know if they're called the atomic fireballs. And that

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Speaker 3: was the beginning of the sour candy, sour candy volcano

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Speaker 3: that went kaboom interrupted. According to my research, my keyboard research,

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Speaker 3: my two minute research, and it was in nineteen sixty

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Speaker 3: two that lemonhead candy. Lemonhead candy became a thing. It

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Speaker 3: was introduced, it became a big hit in the early

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Speaker 3: nineteen sixties, and then thirty years later, in the nineties,

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Speaker 3: the Foreign Candy Company whatever that is, brought Warheads to

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Speaker 3: the US. I remember when the warheads became very popular.

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Speaker 3: They had been in Thailand and they came over and

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Speaker 3: they were like, oh my god, this is so great.

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Speaker 3: And that was a massive explosion. And we got a

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Speaker 3: whole bunch of other sour candies and all that. So

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Speaker 3: it is National Sour Candy Day. Celebrate appropriately, enjoy some

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Speaker 3: nice sour candies.

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Speaker 1: So on this edition of The Fifth.

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Speaker 3: Hour, which you listen to whenever you want, we have

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Speaker 3: it's kind of like Shark Week and the original Big Dumper.

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Speaker 3: We've got that and some other things that we have time,

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Speaker 3: but we'll begin with this. So the games return today.

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Speaker 3: The games returned today and tonight, and there's Cubs and

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Speaker 3: the Red Sox played game, but then most of the

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Speaker 3: games are at night tonight, as the Major League Baseball

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Speaker 3: schedule returns. All Star Week has come and gone. We

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Speaker 3: had the swing Off. It's in the record books, although

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Speaker 3: Aaron Judge and sho hail Tani didn't see it. They

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Speaker 3: were on planes leaving Atlanta. But this is a week

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Speaker 3: many blowhards dread. Many blowhards dread. Oh I can't believe

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Speaker 3: you see a lot of people taking vacation this week,

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Speaker 3: people like Colin Cowhard, Dan Patrick and others.

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Speaker 1: I've taken some time off.

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Speaker 3: Now, if you've been listening, and I don't listen that

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Speaker 3: much because I don't want to steal someone else's material,

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Speaker 3: but I hear the promos on Fox Sports Radio, and

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Speaker 3: I hear some other random things via text and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: So if you've been listening.

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Speaker 3: To the various shows, you probably have heard the menu

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Speaker 3: that is being.

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Speaker 1: Used by all the maniacs that do this.

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Speaker 3: We have rebranded this part of the All Star Week

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Speaker 3: in Major League Baseball. It's It's list Week, is what

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Speaker 3: it is, right, It's I mean, though the way say it,

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Speaker 3: there's really no all the way to say it. It's

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Speaker 3: It's list Week, the four days in the middle of

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Speaker 3: July when sports radio hosts, TV pundits, podcasters, YouTubers become

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Speaker 3: professional rankers of things and reactors to ranking things and

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Speaker 3: other people doing. It's kind of like Shark Week. It

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Speaker 3: is perfect for lazy radio, it really is. Now we've

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Speaker 3: talked on this show, and if you listen to the

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Speaker 3: Overnight show, you know that we give announcements every so often,

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Speaker 3: usually around Thanksgiving and Christmas, watch out for lazy sports.

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Speaker 1: Radio and dead give away.

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Speaker 3: The dead giveaway for lazy sports radio is when your

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Speaker 3: favorite talk show host says, who's been naughty?

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Speaker 1: Who's been nice this year? Who? What do you think?

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Speaker 1: Thankful foreign sports for Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 1: Who would you invite to Thanksgiving dinner?

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Speaker 3: New Year's also, So those are the three big holidays

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Speaker 3: for lazy sports radio. But here in this list week,

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Speaker 3: which is kind of like Shark Week, the ingredients are

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Speaker 3: top five breakout stars of the baseball season, top ten

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Speaker 3: NFL uniforms.

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Speaker 1: Who's the most overrated manager?

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Speaker 3: Right? I have ten right here? Least likable NFL stars?

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Speaker 3: A favorite bathroom bloopers in sports? Was it Paul Pierce

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Speaker 3: when he had that incident in Boston and he needed

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Speaker 3: the wheelchair because he pooped his pants?

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Speaker 1: Was it Lamar Jackson running.

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Speaker 3: Off the field because he had die die diarrhea? Or

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Speaker 3: Ben Bishop during the Stanley Cup finals also having diarrhea.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't matter, It does not matter what it is,

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Speaker 3: as long as you put a number on it.

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Speaker 1: Odd numbers are preferred. More bite, more bite. Now.

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Speaker 3: Years ago, as a young Benny Blowhard, I was learning

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Speaker 3: my craft in press boxes around Los Angeles. Is I

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Speaker 3: learned the truth about the list from the patron saying

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Speaker 3: of cynical sports writing, the late great TJ.

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Speaker 1: Simers rest in piece. TJ.

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Speaker 3: TJ didn't just right list, he weaponized them. He knew

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Speaker 3: all of the magic of the list. Now.

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Speaker 1: He told me once as a young lad, if you want.

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Speaker 3: People to talk about your little show, just leave shack

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Speaker 3: off a list.

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Speaker 1: And this was back when Shaq and Kobe were the.

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Speaker 3: Bombity bombity Bombiti bamedy Bombitay with the Lakers.

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Speaker 1: So he's like, oh yeah, just leave them.

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Speaker 3: Other people will freak out and boom right, It's true,

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Speaker 3: like phones would light up. There was really no social

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Speaker 3: media in those days, so we don't have to worry

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Speaker 3: about that. But you're suddenly the star of the outrage

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Speaker 3: industrial complex. And because the inside skinny on this, the

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Speaker 3: truth on this. Lists are just spam. They're just filler.

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Speaker 3: They're not it's not like journalism. You don't turn in

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Speaker 3: a radio show for journalism, you know, going on social

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Speaker 3: media for journalism, you're looking for opinions, right, your opinionator,

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Speaker 3: But the list is bait.

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Speaker 1: Now, we don't do lists on the Ben Maler shows.

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Speaker 1: You know, we don't do that.

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Speaker 3: But the list is a bright shiny thing. It's outrage bait.

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Speaker 3: And TJ taught me back in those days. This is

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Speaker 3: how they make the hot balks. You gotta throw one

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Speaker 3: ridiculous opinion in the middle of an otherwise normal rank.

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Speaker 3: For example, I give you an exent. We have a

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Speaker 3: great example this week of this type of activity. There

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Speaker 3: was someone who works on Cowhard show, the consiciliere for

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Speaker 3: Colin Cowhard, who put Nicola Jokic, I believe, either equal

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Speaker 3: to or behind DeAndre Ayton, because DeAndre Aden played for

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Speaker 3: the Lake now with the Lakers, and this guy's like

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Speaker 3: a Laker fanboy, and so.

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Speaker 1: He put DeAndre Ayton either ahead.

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Speaker 3: I didn't see if somebody had sent this to me,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't and I didn't watch it, but he

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Speaker 3: had sent me the Lincoln there was like it was

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Speaker 3: written up so and so says DeAndre Ayton is either

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Speaker 3: as good as Nicola Jokic or better, And so that

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Speaker 3: is that's what that's tossing a bloody steak into a

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Speaker 3: cage of lions. And the thing that I've learned over

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Speaker 3: the years, and again I don't do this. If Terry

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Speaker 3: and England's listening, I don't do this, but people have

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Speaker 3: to react. It's primal, right, we're cavemen in this case,

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Speaker 3: cavemen with microphones. But just by listening, people get all

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Speaker 3: worked up into a lather.

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Speaker 4: Who belongs in the top ten clutch hitters in baseball

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Speaker 4: since nineteen ninety seven? Can you include you know so

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Speaker 4: and so, who are the top non steroid players in baseball?

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Speaker 3: Well, how do you know who's on steroids who's not?

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Speaker 3: But here are my ten? And you succumb to it.

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Speaker 3: You do even if you know better. And I'm telling

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Speaker 3: you right now, and you'll still do it.

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Speaker 1: But you will.

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Speaker 3: And of course those of us that host these shows,

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Speaker 3: the people that are kind of lazy, they love it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, come on these.

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Speaker 3: Particular days where you're doing it's like Shark Week, but

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Speaker 3: it's list week. They eat up so much valuable talk radio,

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Speaker 3: real estate, the airtime. It's like Joey Chestnut with a

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Speaker 3: plate of hot dogs on Coney Island in Brooklyn. Right,

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Speaker 3: And you can debate them, you dismantle them, you rebuild them.

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Speaker 3: One list like one simple list, one benign list turns

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Speaker 3: into four hours of programming and three days of call ins.

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Speaker 1: How could you leave Otadi off the list of the

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Speaker 1: greatest baseball players the last thirty five years?

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Speaker 3: Do you think Bryce Harper is better than Aaron Judge?

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Speaker 3: You must be a Philadelphia fanboy. What's wrong with you?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: He just goes on and on.

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Speaker 3: It's it's not conversation, it's content, is what it is.

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Speaker 3: And by today, right by today, here we are on

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Speaker 3: this Friday. If you've been consuming, it's like the top

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Speaker 3: twenty five most ridiculous list of list week ranked. Of course,

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Speaker 3: so that has become a staple. That's something that's relatively

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Speaker 3: new and it's not going to end anytime soon. So

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Speaker 3: if you market on your calendar the summer of twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty six, although I guess they might have the Olympics,

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Speaker 3: so maybe the All Star Game won't be going on.

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Speaker 1: But either way they will, there will be this kind

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Speaker 1: of content.

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Speaker 3: And again for those of you will late to the party,

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Speaker 3: who for some reason, I don't know how you'd be

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Speaker 3: late to the party on a freaking podcast. It's a

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Speaker 3: podcast anyway. On the Ben Mather Show, we don't do lists.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: Occasionally I will dabble in Big Ben's Big board. But

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Speaker 3: Big Ben's Big Board is not a list, right, it

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Speaker 3: is not. It doesn't sound like a list. It doesn't

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Speaker 3: look like a list. It does and taste like a list.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't hit you in the head like a list.

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Speaker 3: It's much different. Ferg Dog, doing his due diligence, said Ben.

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Speaker 3: He said this in my head. I don't know if

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Speaker 3: he actually said it, but he said. In my head,

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Speaker 3: he said, Ben, you know when you do Big Ben's Board,

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Speaker 3: a Big Ben's Big Board, that is that's top of

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Speaker 3: the world radio and the people that do the list,

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Speaker 3: they just don't understand. I said, you know what, Ferg Dog.

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Speaker 3: In my head, we have this conversation. I see you're

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Speaker 3: absolutely right, all right now, turning the page from that,

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Speaker 3: I've gotten some pretty good feedback from you idiots on

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Speaker 3: what we've done in recent weeks.

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Speaker 1: I've kind of changed up the podcast a.

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Speaker 3: Little bit, kind of going into more Mallard monologues and

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Speaker 3: storytelling and crap like that. Not that I didn't do

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Speaker 3: that before, but we just changed it up a little bit.

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Speaker 3: The feedback has been pretty good, the downloads have been good.

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Speaker 3: So I will now go behind the curtain yet again.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's going behind the cart.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, So like all good stories, it started out

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Speaker 3: like a normal day out at my beloved Mallor mansion

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Speaker 3: with my beloved English bulldog, Moxie. And I woke up

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Speaker 3: in the early afternoon, rolled out of bed, and I

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Speaker 3: splashed just a dabble water on my face and off

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Speaker 3: to the races, hit the ground running. Now, unbeknowns to me,

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Speaker 3: while I slept, there was a surprise waiting for me. Now,

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Speaker 3: I didn't know when I went to bed that I

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Speaker 3: would be woken up with the surprise.

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Speaker 1: I did not realize that.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know when I woke up and then

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Speaker 3: put water on my face that we were going to

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Speaker 3: get a surprise. I had no idea because it's a surprise,

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Speaker 3: And if I had only known what awaited me, I

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Speaker 3: would have likely stayed in bed. I would have stayed

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Speaker 3: in bed. I get up, usually run down, jump on

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Speaker 3: the treadmill or whatever. So I get put a little

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Speaker 3: water on the face and go down to the kitchen area.

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Speaker 3: And my friend Moxie had decided.

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Speaker 1: That she was going to join the military.

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Speaker 3: She had unleashed a biological weapon in the Malor mansion.

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Speaker 3: In the kitchen. Now forget the Daily Double. This is

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Speaker 3: not the Daily Double. We're talking about a trifecta situation. Okay,

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Speaker 3: not just a little accident on the tile in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.

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Speaker 3: My friend Moxie, bless her portly soul, unleashed the three

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Speaker 3: headed fire breathing dragon. We had poop over here, pee

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Speaker 3: over there, and vomit. She rode the vomit comet, the

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Speaker 3: Big three. This was mission unflushable. Now people talk about

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Speaker 3: cal Raley, he won the home run Derby this week.

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Speaker 3: He's having a great year for the Mariners. But forget

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Speaker 3: cal Raley, Seattle's self anoided big dumper. Moxie is the

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Speaker 3: real deal. Moxie is the o G. She doesn't need

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Speaker 3: a nickname. I gave her one. She doesn't need a

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Speaker 3: nickname though. She is a one dog toxic spill again,

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Speaker 3: biological weapon.

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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 3: Now you're probably wondering. You said, hey, Ben, why did

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Speaker 3: this happen? How did this happen? Shouldn't Moxie have been outside?

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Speaker 3: Don't you have a doggy door? All good questions. So

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Speaker 3: we do have a doggy door. There's a problem. The

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Speaker 3: doggy door was for Bella, our old dog, Bella, a

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Speaker 3: little lap dog, very small dog, great dog. We loved Bella.

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Speaker 3: We sometimes I call Moxy Bella. Have you ever done that?

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Speaker 3: When you change dogs and you don't just muscle memory,

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Speaker 3: you call the new dog the old dog. Is very odd.

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Speaker 1: The dogs don't really know their name.

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Speaker 3: They just kind of recognize the sound a little bit,

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Speaker 3: but they don't really know anyway. So we had a

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Speaker 3: doggy door put in for our dog, Bella. We got Moxie.

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Speaker 3: The problem is, Moxie is is so fat that she

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Speaker 3: will not fit through the doggy door, and it's very

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Speaker 3: expensive to expand the doggy door, so we've chosen to

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Speaker 3: not do that. So we have to take Moxie out

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Speaker 3: when Moxie needs to go to the bathroom. Now, there's

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Speaker 3: a routine. Normally what happens is she's our watch dog.

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Speaker 3: She guards the house. So when I come in from

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Speaker 3: the radio show in the very early mornings of the hour,

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Speaker 3: early morning hours, rather, I will put Moxie outside for

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Speaker 3: a potty break, and she's.

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Speaker 1: Potty trained, so she'll go to the bathroom, she'll do

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Speaker 1: her thing. I'll take her back in. Normally. Sometimes i'll

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Speaker 1: leave her out. I'll take her back in.

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Speaker 3: Normally she's fine. Because then I wake up. I don't

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Speaker 3: sleep that long. I sleep like four or five hours

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Speaker 3: the most. So when I get up, I put her

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Speaker 3: back outside. She goes to the bathroom. So me and

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Speaker 3: Moxie have this down.

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Speaker 1: Pat.

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Speaker 3: We've got a system, you know, the Moxie system, and.

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Speaker 1: It's gone pretty well.

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Speaker 3: But the reason that this happened, to get to the why,

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Speaker 3: Like all great disasters, it started with good intentions. So

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Speaker 3: I mentioned, I get home from the radio show, I

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Speaker 3: leave the dog outside on this day. I decided to

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Speaker 3: go take a shower and kind of relax a little bit,

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Speaker 3: I told.

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Speaker 1: My My wife gets home from work a.

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Speaker 3: Little after me, so I told her, I said, listen,

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Speaker 3: why don't you put the dog. I'm gonna stay up

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Speaker 3: here in you know, I'm gonna kind of relax, try

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Speaker 3: to unplug my brain. And I got a lot of

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Speaker 3: bandwidth up here. So why don't you just let the

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Speaker 3: dog in when you get home? And that's that so fine.

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Speaker 3: So my wife, my lovely, thoughtful, nurturing wife, a real

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Speaker 3: sweet spirit, she decided that Moxie had been a good

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Speaker 3: dog eat and deserved a gourmet meal. We're not talking

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Speaker 3: about a dog meal like kibble, We're not talking about

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Speaker 3: milk bone Scooby snacks as Andre gives his dog Willis. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: We're talking chicken over here, potatoes over there, and colin

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Speaker 3: flower everywhere.

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Speaker 1: That's right, cauliflower for a bulldog. Who does that? Well?

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Speaker 3: My wife does. But seriously, look, I wouldn't. I would

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Speaker 3: only eat cauliflower if you paid me, and even then

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Speaker 3: I would need a lot of money to do it.

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Speaker 3: So this is a dog that does not need cauliflower

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Speaker 3: to stink bomb the entire home. And cauliflower it's like

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Speaker 3: eating fart spray. It's it's good if you want to

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Speaker 3: clear out your system and smell up the room.

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Speaker 1: People talk about garlic.

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Speaker 3: Garlic smells like a five hundred dollars bottle of perfume

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Speaker 3: compared to cauliflower, and it's not even close.

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Speaker 1: So what do you think happens? Again? You know I

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Speaker 1: left the dog out.

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Speaker 3: My wife said, ah, I will give Maxia a nice

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Speaker 3: gourmet meal, the chicken, the potato, the cauliflower, And so

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Speaker 3: what happened? Get to the point, please, we have a

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Speaker 3: very portly barrel chested English pulldog eating this satanic vegetable.

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Speaker 1: So I can tell you what I lived it.

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Speaker 3: She became an Oscar wild quote when life imitates art,

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Speaker 3: Moxie became a living, breathing vomit comet. She rode the

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Speaker 3: vomit comment. She laid waste like Sherman through Georgia. If

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Speaker 3: you know your history, it was unreal there. In fact,

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure right now if you were to come

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Speaker 3: over to the Malor mansion, you're not invited.

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Speaker 1: There's a crater in the kitchen.

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Speaker 3: Even blind Scott can see the crater like inca Terra's like,

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Speaker 3: I can't believe that, And I think FEMA may have

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Speaker 3: to assess the damage on that. So now this led

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Speaker 3: to what what do you think this all that? Tod Now,

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Speaker 3: obviously there's a major cleanup, major cleanup. Guess who got

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Speaker 3: to do the cleanup? That's right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, uh.

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Speaker 3: And I normally don't get that affected by this type

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Speaker 3: of stuff. Dog's poop, humans, you know, poop, it's you know,

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Speaker 3: the vomit was a little much. So this led to what,

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Speaker 3: as they say in the mob, we had to sit down,

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Speaker 3: and you know, want to sit down. If you don't

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Speaker 3: make a compelling argument, you're not getting out alive. So

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Speaker 3: I had to pull the wife aside, and I had

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Speaker 3: to have a sit down with the wife and I

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Speaker 3: had to explain that we must as a as a family,

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Speaker 3: cut back on the artillery. We're spending way too much

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Speaker 3: on weaponry. We don't need to weaponize Moxie. Moxie naturally

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Speaker 3: has weapons. We don't need to give them more. What

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Speaker 3: we did is create a biological weapon that we did

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Speaker 3: not need to do. We did not need to do.

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Speaker 3: And my wife, but she gave Moxie artillery. And it's

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Speaker 3: one thing to give Moxy a little bit of food.

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Speaker 1: It's another thing to.

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Speaker 3: Feed Moxie a lunch from Whole Foods, which is essentially

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Speaker 3: the equivalent of loading a howitzer with napalm and turning

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Speaker 3: it on in your own kitchen.

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Speaker 1: That's what happened.

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Speaker 3: And the kicker of kickers, now Moxye, who knows. They

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Speaker 3: don't talk, These damn dogs don't talk. But I'm going

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Speaker 3: to assume the position. She loved every second of it,

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Speaker 3: nub wagging, tongue out, proud as a peacock. She was

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Speaker 3: laying right next to the destruction that she had just

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Speaker 3: put in the mallar kitchen, and she was looking at

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Speaker 3: me like she had just did a walk off home

397
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Speaker 3: run to win the home run derby, which Baseball doesn't

398
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Speaker 3: want you to call home run derby the swing off,

399
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Speaker 3: or win games seven in the world.

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Speaker 1: She was not ashamed, and why should she be ashamed.

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Speaker 1: She's a freaking English bulldog. Why would an English bulldog

402
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Speaker 1: be ashamed?

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Speaker 3: You wouldn't be ashamed. This is what they do. There's

404
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Speaker 3: no self control. They eat and they eat and they eat,

405
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Speaker 3: and if it tastes good, they're gonna eat. They love

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Speaker 3: human food. So it's kind of like you don't blame

407
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Speaker 3: the rain for being wet. You don't blame the dog

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Speaker 3: for doing what dogs do?

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Speaker 1: You know? Now, in the end, we all learned a

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Speaker 1: very valuable lesson.

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Speaker 3: Not every dog needs to eat like Gordon Ramsey, and

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Speaker 3: certainly our dog Moxie does not does not need to

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Speaker 3: eat like Gordon Ramsey. Sometimes sometimes they just need to eat,

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Speaker 3: Like let's see, how about a dog? How about a

415
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Speaker 3: dogf Yeah, and again, I know cal Raley's known as

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Speaker 3: the big dumper Moxie until she rides off into the

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Speaker 3: sunset and goes up to the pearly gates of Doggie

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Speaker 3: Heaven to join Bella and some of my other dogs

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Speaker 3: she is our big dumper. And it's taken me a

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Speaker 3: couple of days. This happened the other day. It has

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Speaker 3: taken me a couple of days to deal with this

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Speaker 3: in terms of the vomit, the poop, and the pee

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Speaker 3: that happens, Mistakes happen, the vomit, the pile of vomit

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Speaker 3: which you could still see pieces of the cauliflower and

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Speaker 3: the potato. That was hell on earth. That was absolutely

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Speaker 3: hell on earth. And so then you clean the kitchen.

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Speaker 3: The other thing that happens is you have PTSD like

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Speaker 3: every time I go in the kitchen, now, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 3: that's where the vomit was. Oh, that's where the piss was.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, that's see. That's the pile of poop that

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Speaker 3: I'm walking through.

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00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: Now.

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00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 3: We did clean it, We had cleaned. But I was thinking,

434
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 3: this could be a money making opportunity. I'm all about

435
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 3: the money making opportunity. So I was thinking, and I

436
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: know Danny's not here today, but this would be a

437
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: great idea. Tell me if I'm wrong, how about we

438
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 3: start a service Doggie Do Do Cleanup where we are

439
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 3: professional poop clean up people that we go around and

440
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 3: I would imagine our our target demo would be older

441
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 3: people that don't want to deal with dogs, that don't

442
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 3: want to clean up dog crap, or young people that

443
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 3: are too old, and we offer our services. You know,

444
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 3: send us a text, will come over, we'll clean up.

445
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 3: It's like a hazmat crew. We will clean up whatever

446
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 3: kind of crap or vomit your dog puts down, right

447
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: for a nomenal fee. For a nomenal fee, you can

448
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 3: have a The key is to make this a monthly thing.

449
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 3: As you know in business, the key is to get

450
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 3: people to pay every month. And it's like the perfect

451
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 3: setup has been over the years of the gym.

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00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: Now what is the gym the perfect setup?

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00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 3: Ben, Well, the gym is the perfect setup, I'll tell you,

454
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 3: because you get people to pay.

455
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: And it's like I do.

456
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 3: Go to the gym, not patting myself in the back.

457
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 3: But I've noticed the pattern we all do. Anyone who's

458
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 3: ever been to the gym, Even if you don't go

459
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 3: anymore in December for Christmas or Honkker or whatever holiday

460
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,360
Speaker 3: you celebrate, or if you don't celebrate holidys, just give

461
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 3: people stuff. The gym fills up in January because people

462
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: get that stuff in December, so it's a packed gym,

463
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 3: and then by February first, there's hardly anybody there. By

464
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 3: the Super Bowl, all the new people are pretty much gone.

465
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: And yet those people are still paying on a monthly

466
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 3: basis automatic pay, So the gym's getting their money. They're

467
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 3: getting their cash, and the people that are paying for

468
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 3: it or not using it, not that it really seems

469
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 3: to impact the quality of the gym experience.

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00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 1: Like the gym near me.

471
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 3: I go to a pretty nice gym and the equipment

472
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 3: is always broken.

473
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: There's one dude. I feel bad for the guy.

474
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 3: There's one guy who's got a shirt that says maintenance

475
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 3: on it and he only works during the normal daylight

476
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 3: hours from nine to five. Stuff is breaking twenty four

477
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: hours a day at this gym. He's just falling apart.

478
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 3: The thing of a jig's not working, the watching MC

479
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 3: call it's not right, and so all this stuff's broken,

480
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 3: and there's one dude to fix everything. And it's kind

481
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 3: of like playing whack a mole watching this guy work

482
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 3: because I see I go in there. He's always fixing something,

483
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 3: whether it's the stair climber or the treadmills are breaking,

484
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 3: or some of the weight equipment that doesn't break as often.

485
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: So this guy will fix something over.

486
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 3: To the right and then immediately over to the left

487
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 3: one of the treadmills will break.

488
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: It does not end.

489
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: It's like it's wild, wild and crazy, wild and crazy

490
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 3: and goofy.

491
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: It's all that, all right, we'll get out on that note.

492
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 3: So there you go, the latest tales of my dog Moxie,

493
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 3: the original big Dumper. And we also, of course reminded

494
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 3: you what this week has been like in the world

495
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 3: of sports media, the crown jewel of sports media, the

496
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 3: All Star week.

497
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: All right, have a wonderful rest of your Friday. We

498
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: will have new podcasts. Danny should join me. I think

499
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: you'll be with me at some point this weekend.

500
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 3: But we'll have new podcasts on Saturday and Sunday as well.

501
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: So until then, later, skater aasta pasta bye bye.

502
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 3: That's what Dick and Dayton would say, say bye bye,

503
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 3: just like that.

504
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 4: Got a murder.

505
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: I gotta go