1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: We're good at oscillating between extremes. We go from I 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: hate myself to I'm the best person in the world, 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: and in this case, we go from I'm going to 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: do a lot, I'm going to plan a lot, I'm 5 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: going to be the most productive person in the world 6 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: at peak performance, I'm the one, and then on the 7 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: other side of the side, I want to do nothing 8 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: this weekend and that creates somewhat of a difficult environment 9 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: to live in. The Number one Health and Wellness podcast, 10 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: Jay Sheety Ja Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, welcome back to 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: On Purpose. I am so grateful to be back with 12 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 1: you for another session, and I want to say thank 13 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: you to all of you who are showing all your love, 14 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: showing up, being present, learning, growing, sharing the episodes, leaving reviews. 15 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: It means the world to me right now. Thank you 16 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: so much, Thank you so so much from the bottom 17 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: of my heart. And like I always do, say, if 18 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: you do see me somewhere, come say hey, A lot 19 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: of you did it at the airport yesterday. I've been 20 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: traveling around a bit right now, and I loved bumping 21 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: into so many of you that I saw in Orlando 22 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,479 Speaker 1: and then Chicago on my way to New York and 23 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: it's been a real, real joy. Thank you so much 24 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: for all the love you show me and that you 25 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: show on purpose. Now it's mental health Awareness month. May 26 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 1: is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I feel it's so 27 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: so important that we use this as an opportunity to 28 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: deepen our connection with our mental health, to help the 29 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: people around us, to use it as an opportunity to 30 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: do better for ourselves and for others. And I'm so 31 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: grateful because I'm partnering up and an ambassador for NAMI, 32 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness and they're 33 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: the largest grassroots mental health organization in the United States. 34 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: ARMY helps provide advocacy, education, support, and public awareness so 35 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: that all individuals and families affected by mental health conditions 36 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: can lead better lives. And if you are someone you 37 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: know is struggling with men mental health, there is help. 38 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: Call NARMI Helpline at eight hundred nine to fifty Army, 39 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: or go to www Dot NARMI dot org, forward slash help, 40 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: or text Helpline to sixty two six forty for immediate 41 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: twenty four to seven crisis support call or text nine 42 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: eight eight, or visit www. Dot nine eight eight Lifeline 43 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: dot Org. I'm so grateful to be partnering with Nami, 44 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: and I really do hope that it helps get the 45 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: message out to so many more people about what they 46 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: can do. Now, I wanted to share with you my 47 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: favorite habits for my mental health that I think are powerful, practical, 48 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: and accessible. I'm not going to go and ask you 49 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: to learn a new skill. I'm not gonna go and 50 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: ask you to learn how to do something new. These 51 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: are things anyone can start today. And so if you're 52 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: someone who's been struggling with anxiety and stress, this episode 53 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: is for you. If you're someone who's been trying to 54 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: do so many practices but they're not working for you, 55 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: this episode is for you. And if you're someone who 56 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: knows someone who's struggling, this episode is for you. It 57 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: maybe a child, a partner, a friend, someone you love, 58 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: a family member, a parent. Check out this episode. It's 59 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: lots of great, simple insights in the small changes that 60 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: will make a big difference. Now. Number one, every night, 61 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: when you're about to go to bed, Before you go 62 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: to bed, it's part of your wind down routine, is 63 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: part of your evening routine. A lot of people have 64 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: talked about the importance of having an evening routine. The 65 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: reason is because we almost want our body to act 66 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: like technology. Technology has an off button, we press off 67 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: and it powers off, but we our off button is 68 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: more like a power down where we need time to unwind, 69 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,119 Speaker 1: we need time to slow down. And because we've got 70 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: so used to using technology, we want our bodies to 71 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: react and respond like a laptop, like a phone, but 72 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't do that. So when your head it's the pillow, 73 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: you're not falling asleep straight away. One part of a 74 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: great evening routine that can be really powerful for your 75 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: mental health. And you can do this in a journal. 76 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: You can do this as a voice note. You can 77 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: do it out loud with your partner or a roommate 78 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: or whoever it may be. You can do it over 79 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: the phone with someone you're close to. But there's one 80 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: question that you want to answer every evening. What did 81 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: I accomplish today? What did you accomplish today? Is the 82 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 1: single most important question to ask yourself for your mind 83 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: in the evening before you go to bed. Now, why 84 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: is it It sounds obvious, It's like, oh, yeah, I 85 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: feel accomplished, I feel good about myself, there's a lot 86 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: more to it. The whole day or in the evening, 87 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: you are very likely to subconsciously say to yourself, I 88 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: can't believe I didn't get that done. Gosh, there's so 89 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: much left to get done. Oh and I didn't even 90 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 1: get to that thing. Oh and I've still got all 91 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: those emails to reply to. We're so used to noting 92 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: down all the things that we haven't done, all the 93 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: things that we didn't achieve, all the things that didn't 94 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: work out, that we easily simply forget the progress that 95 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: has been made. So it's not neutral. I think we 96 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: think we live in a neutral world where we're like, oh, 97 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to pump myself up, like I'm fine, 98 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: But actually what we're usually doing is putting ourselves down. Right, 99 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: So I'm not telling you to pump yourself up. I'm 100 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: not saying to sit there and say I'm the best, 101 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: I'm amazing, I did this. It's actually saying what did 102 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: I accomplish today? Because chances are your mind's already coming 103 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: up the list or you didn't accomplish, and you might say, 104 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: all right, I got in a twenty minute workout. I 105 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 1: accomplished that today, whereas usually you'd say I only got 106 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: a twenty minute workout. Notice how we do that right? 107 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: Even so, it's an accomplishment to get in the gym 108 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: to get that workout in. Maybe you got six thousand 109 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: steps and you say to yourself, I only got six 110 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: thousand steps instead of I accomplished six thousand steps, Let's 111 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: go for seven thousand tomorrow. Which one do you think 112 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: programs you to push a little bit more tomorrow when 113 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: you're feeling encouraged or when you're feeling put down. Now, 114 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:24,919 Speaker 1: chances are when you're feeling put down, you'll sort it 115 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 1: out for the next couple of days. But it's not sustainable. 116 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: It's not sustainable to constantly speak to yourself negatively and 117 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: expect a positive result. Let me repeat that again. You 118 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:43,239 Speaker 1: can't speak to yourself negatively and expect a positive result. 119 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:48,679 Speaker 1: You can't speak to yourself in a way that puts 120 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: you down to hope that it pulls you up. You 121 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: can't speak to yourself in a way that is condescending 122 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: and hope that it's going to make you feel connected 123 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: to yourself. When we talk bad to ourselves day after 124 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: day after day, it's impossible for it to lead to 125 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: something good. And so when you ask yourself the simple 126 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: question at the end of every day, what did I 127 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: accomplish today? Make a list of three things. I got 128 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: the laundry done, I did some meal prep. I cooked 129 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: a great meal. I finished off all my email inbox, 130 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: even though I still know my text is still left. 131 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: What did you accomplish? What you're doing is rewiring, reprogramming 132 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: your mind to also not forget the truth. Right, if 133 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: your friend said to you, Hey, I only got this 134 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: done today, you'd be like, that's amazing. You got six 135 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: thousand steps. Good for you. You made it through the 136 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: gym for twenty minutes. That's amazing. Right. Your reaction would 137 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: be so different. And I encourage you to do this 138 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: with the people you love too. This is something that 139 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: Raddy did for me when I began my health journey 140 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: when we were together, especially my physical health. And she 141 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: was always someone who was committed to going to the gym, 142 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: committed to her health and well being, and I was 143 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: someone who was focused on the mind. And I remember 144 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: in the beginning, I would still have my sugar addiction. 145 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: I would still be very much like, oh yeah, I 146 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: didn't get that done. I didn't get this done, she'd 147 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: always be like, well, that's amazing, that's great that you 148 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: made it. That's awesome. Right. And at the same time education, 149 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: I think we mistake being hard on ourselves as a 150 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 1: replacement for education. I'll explain what I mean by that. 151 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 1: Fact can hit harder than you being harder on yourself. 152 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: Let me say that again, educating yourself in the facts 153 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: of something can hit you harder than being hard on yourself. 154 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: What I mean by that is, if someone walks you 155 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: through the challenging aspects of not working out, if someone 156 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 1: walks you through the fact your repercussions of what you're 157 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:02,199 Speaker 1: consuming mentally or physically, that fact is more likely to 158 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: push you into growth than you being mean to yourself 159 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: with no facts. And so I think it's so important 160 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: that we recognize how we're motivated. Now. All of us 161 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,679 Speaker 1: are different. Some of us may actually like the hard 162 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: talk and we may need it, and that's fine too, 163 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean we shouldn't go to sleep focusing 164 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: on what we've accomplished today and recognizing that it is progress. Okay. 165 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: Number two. This one is also slightly counterintuitive, but I 166 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 1: recommend that if you're struggling with your mental health. This month, 167 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: plan something for yourself and someone else. Build something. Plan 168 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: a trip, an event, a charity event, a mental health 169 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: awareness event, whatever it may be. Do something, plan something, 170 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: build towards something, Create an opportunity for your mind to 171 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: be active in working towards something. Hey everyone, it's Jay here. 172 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: My wife and I have had so much fun create 173 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: our own sparkling tea Juni, and I've got big news 174 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: for you. It's at Target and we'd love your support. 175 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: If you can go out grab a Juny, You'll be 176 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 1: adding adaptagens and new tropics into your life with mood 177 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: boosting properties aimed at promoting a balanced and happy mind. 178 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: Through our commitment to our wellness journey and striving to 179 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: fuel our bodies with the healthiest ingredients, It's been our 180 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: purpose to make healthy choices accessible for all, which is 181 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: why Juni is now on shelves at Target. So head 182 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 1: to our store locator at Drinkjuny dot com and find 183 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: Juny at a Target near you. I think a lot 184 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: of us believe right now that comfort and not doing 185 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 1: anything helps us, and I think that can be true 186 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: because we're overworked, we're overwhelmed, we're burnt out, and as humans, 187 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 1: we're good at oscillating between extremes. Right, We basically go 188 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: between extremes constantly. We go from I hate myself to 189 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm the best person in the world. And in this case, 190 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: we go from I'm going to do a lot, I'm 191 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: going to plan a lot, I'm going to be the 192 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 1: most productive person in the world at peak performance, I'm 193 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,559 Speaker 1: the one. And then on the other side of it'side 194 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: I want to do nothing this weekend, right, And we 195 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: oscillate between these extremes, and that creates somewhat of a 196 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: difficult environment to live in. Now, balance is not necessarily 197 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, but what I am proposing is that 198 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: you're always working on something, and you're not working on 199 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: it so much that it drains you. You may put 200 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: it aside when you're working very hard at work, and 201 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: it's almost like when work's really tough, this may take 202 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: a back burner because you're already focusing that part of 203 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: your brain. You're already focusing that part of your energy. 204 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: But maybe when works a little slower or medium paced, 205 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,959 Speaker 1: you're adding this in to give your mind that focus point, 206 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: to give it that activity, to give it that progress marker. 207 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 1: So the reason why I'm planning something is so powerful 208 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 1: is because it makes you feel like you're moving. And 209 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: as humans, we need to feel like we're constantly moving 210 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: in a direction towards something. Whether we're ambitious or not, 211 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: we all need to feel like we're growing. We all 212 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: need to feel like we are progressing in a direction. 213 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: And when we choose to plan something, it creates a 214 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 1: lot of that forward motion that's pulling us forward. Rather 215 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: than you pushing yourself, You've now got something in the 216 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: future pulling you. And I find that that can be 217 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: a really powerful thing. Of course, you have to pick 218 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: something that really is important to you. Don't pick to 219 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: plan anything. But picking to plan something, what happens. You 220 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: get to meet people around it, You get to go 221 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: to new places because of it. You are taking on 222 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: a new project, and that's where life starts to get 223 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,439 Speaker 1: more connected naturally. Right. A big part of why we're 224 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 1: struggling with mental health today is loneliness. We're feeling disconnected 225 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: from people. And I found that when you build something 226 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: with someone, when you do something with someone, it's so 227 00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: much more magical what you develop as a friendship. I 228 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: think it's not explored enough today. But when you do 229 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: something with someone that is active, proactive, building, planning, creating, 230 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: the memories you build and the bond you build is 231 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: far more than going to a number of parties with someone. 232 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: It's just not the same thing. You could go to 233 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: dinner with someone and it's not the same level as 234 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: if you help them move home. Right. You could go 235 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 1: to dinner with someone and it's not the same as 236 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: if you help them change a tire on their car. 237 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: You could go to dinner with someone and it's not 238 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 1: the same as if you put on an event for 239 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: your community or organized your family's birthday or a getaway 240 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,080 Speaker 1: trip together. Right, it's just not the same thing. And 241 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: I think for a lot of us, we're trying to 242 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: find connection across a table on a couch. And I'm 243 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: not saying those things are wrong. I'm not saying they're bad, 244 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,319 Speaker 1: and we need those things. But I found that the deepest, 245 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: most powerful relationships I have are ones where we did 246 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 1: things together. And I would encourage you all to find 247 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: a friend. Choose someone or you'll find a friend through 248 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 1: the process of planning something, and that what you plan 249 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: can be small. I'm not saying it has to be 250 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: thousands of people. It can be a small thing at 251 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 1: your child's school, it can be a small thing for 252 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: your family at home. But planning something, working towards something, 253 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: making yourself feel excited about something, because so much of 254 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: the time we're struggling because we've lost that zest, we've 255 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: lost that thrill, we've lost that excitement, and it's important 256 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: that we bring it back. Number three, get better at 257 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: the things you're good at. A lot of the time, 258 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: when we're struggling with low confidence, it's because we actually 259 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: are experiencing low competence, right. It's competence that builds confidence. 260 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: It's competence that builds greater self esteem. Confidence by the 261 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: Dictionary definition, which I love, and by the way, when 262 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 1: I pull out a definition, it's because I feel we 263 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: are so unaware of it. The Dictionary definition of confidence, 264 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: one of them is a feeling of self assurance, arising 265 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: from one's appreciation of one's abilities and qualities. So when 266 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: you get better at the things you're good at, it's 267 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: more prominent to you and you're more able to give 268 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: yourself that self assurance. When we're good at something, we 269 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: often say, nah, I'm okay at that. But when you're 270 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: bad at something, you're like, oh, I'm the worst, right? No, 271 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: is that negativity bias creeping in. If you're good at something, 272 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: you're like, I'm okay. If you're bad at something, you're like, yeah, 273 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm the worst. I'm the worst there possibly ever was, right, 274 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: And we over hype it so hard. So getting better 275 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: at the things you're good at gives you a sense 276 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: of competence and confidence that won't come from anything else. 277 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: And I think often we feel like, oh, if I 278 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: got that job, I would feel better. If I was 279 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: with that person, I would feel better. There's a lot 280 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: of things we say to ourselves, if this, then that, right, 281 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: But what about this idea that actually, when I get better, 282 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 1: when I develop better skills, when I strengthen these muscles, 283 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: when I strengthen these focus points, now I actually feel 284 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: better about myself. Right, Instead of waiting for something external 285 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: to happen to make us feel better, we're taking that 286 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: into our own hands. We're taking accountability, we're taking responsibility. 287 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: We're feeling a sense of my behavior matters, my action matters. 288 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: We feel a sense of autonomy, we feel a sense 289 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: of ownership, and that's such a powerful thing that we 290 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 1: can help develop. So if you're good at something, or 291 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: someone said you're good at something, go take a course 292 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: on it, go to an online program on it, buy 293 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: a book about it, and study it all weekend. Go 294 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: to an evening class. Whatever it is like, get stuck in. 295 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 1: It could be something like pottery. It could be an 296 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: art class. Maybe you were great at doing comic book 297 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: sketches when you were young. It could be a cake 298 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: baking class. Right, whatever it is, something you enjoy again, 299 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,159 Speaker 1: You'll naturally meet people again, You'll naturally be learning, you'll 300 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: naturally be growing. What happens is you're making all of 301 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: the areas of your life that you're struggling with easier 302 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: to do. Now. This point number five is actually something 303 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: that I came across last Christmas, and so Radi and 304 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: I we always go back to London and we try 305 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: and spend a lot of quality time with our family 306 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: because of course we live in another country and we 307 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: don't get to see them as much. And so we 308 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: had taken a little trip to the countryside with our family. 309 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 1: And my niece and nephew are eight and four, and 310 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: they're adorable and wonderful, and my sister in law had 311 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: brought them these coloring books. But when you then finish 312 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 1: coloring and you struck the pieces together, it was an 313 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: ornament for the Christmas tree. Now I joined in with 314 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,679 Speaker 1: the activity, I think I think the whole family did, actually, 315 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: because we thought we'd had quite a busy run and 316 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 1: this was quite a calming exercise. And then I started 317 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 1: looking into some of the research behind it, and I 318 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: was reading something from Dan Brennan, MD, and he was 319 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: talking about how actually coloring books are not just for kids. 320 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: They can be used by adults, and coloring relaxes your 321 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 1: brain and improves brain function. He says, when you're coloring, 322 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: you're focused on the simple activity in front of you. 323 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 1: This begins to relax your mind and keep your thoughts 324 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 1: from intruding. Now I found that, especially when I was 325 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 1: coloring in between the lines, when I was trying to 326 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:35,360 Speaker 1: do something quite intricate, it was really present work. And 327 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,479 Speaker 1: he goes on to talk about how it induces a 328 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: meditative state. He mentions that adult coloring doesn't replace art therapy, 329 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: but it can be therapeutic for some people. Some studies 330 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,400 Speaker 1: have shown that focusing on the complex structure of your 331 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: coloring page can help put your mind into a meditative state. 332 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: So for those of you that struggle to meditate or 333 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,199 Speaker 1: struggle to like you know how to meditate, this is 334 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: a great way of just taking a moment to be 335 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: more present. He also goes on to say how it 336 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: improves sleep. Right if you color before bed, Dan Brannan says, 337 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: you're likely to sleep better than if you scrolled on 338 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: your phone expose you to blue light from your phone 339 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: or tablet. Of course we know that can hinder our 340 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,800 Speaker 1: quality of sleep, but he says by coloring in a 341 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 1: book before bed instead, you're keeping electronics out of the bedroom, 342 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: allowing your melotonin level to release naturally as your body 343 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 1: gets ready for sleep. So there's so many benefits to 344 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: a simple activity of coloring. Now. I know, as adults 345 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 1: were thinking like what am I going to color? And 346 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: I found that when it becomes something practical, like we 347 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 1: were making an ornament for the tree, or maybe you're 348 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: creating a birthday card for someone and you might be thinking, 349 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 1: no one wants a birthday guard painted by me. Or 350 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 1: maybe it is something that you're doing with your kids, 351 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: or maybe it is something that you're doing with your 352 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: niece and your nephew. I remember it being a really 353 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,880 Speaker 1: wonderful activity. We could all show each other what we did, 354 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 1: and everyone chose different ornaments and maybe I did a 355 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: snowman and you know, they painted something else and it 356 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: was just a really it's a really special memory that 357 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:08,439 Speaker 1: I'm still holding on to as well. And I know 358 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: it sounds simple, but I think it's going to resonate 359 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: with some of you, and so I hope you give 360 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: that a go. This one is something you may have heard, 361 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: but I'm hoping that some of the research behind it 362 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: will change how you feel about it. I was reading 363 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 1: a research study that said that since the turn of 364 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 1: the millennium, cases of vitamin D deficiency have risen by 365 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: four hundred and ninety percent. That's incredible. Now, there's lots 366 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: of reasons for that, and here are some of them. 367 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 1: The average time outdoors has fallen fourteen percent between nineteen 368 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,919 Speaker 1: seventies and twenty tens. Sixteen to thirty year olds have 369 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 1: seen the biggest drop in outdoor time twenty percent when 370 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: compared to their age bracket in the nineteen seventies. And 371 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 1: of course, the average person watches TV or listens to 372 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 1: the radio for one hundred and forty seven minutes per day, 373 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 1: an increase of thirty seven minutes from time spent in 374 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: the nineteen seventies. Now that doesn't surprise me. But it's interesting, 375 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: isn't it. What can we do to be active while 376 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: we watch that show? Can we be active at home? 377 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: Can we be active outdoors while we listen to something? 378 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 1: What can we do? I know so many of you. 379 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: I love, love, love watching all of you out on 380 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: a walk with your dog. You're cooking while you're listening. 381 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 1: Some of you are driving while you're listening. And I 382 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,400 Speaker 1: think if I could encourage you all to just get outdoors. 383 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: The National Recreation and Park Association says that whether it's 384 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: sitting on a park bench or walking local trails, spending 385 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:40,159 Speaker 1: twenty to thirty minutes outside reduces stress levels. It's just 386 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: that twenty minutes outdoors will make a big, big, big difference. 387 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 1: And I will just want you to test it out 388 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: for seven days. What I want you to do is 389 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 1: I want you to choose one of these pieces of insights, 390 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: and I want you to test them over the next 391 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,640 Speaker 1: seven days. Or I just want you to test them 392 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: for the next seven days and see how your life changes. 393 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,399 Speaker 1: See what switches up, see what progress or movement you 394 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,880 Speaker 1: feel in your life. And this one's a big one 395 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 1: for me. I'm throwing it in there because I learned 396 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,399 Speaker 1: a lot about this from the Glucose Goddess Jesse and 397 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: Chope on the podcast. If you haven't heard that episode, 398 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: it's amazing. But there's something to be said for the 399 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 1: connection between sugar and our mood, and she speaks about 400 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 1: it with so much great research and insight. But some 401 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: of the reasons I came across talked about how One 402 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 1: study published in twenty seventeen found that consuming a diet 403 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 1: high in sugar can increase the chances of incident mood 404 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: disorders in men and recurrent mood disorders in both men 405 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 1: and women. And a more recent study in twenty nineteen 406 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: found that regular consumption of saturated fats and added sugars 407 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: were related to higher feelings of anxiety in adults over 408 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 1: sixty And not only that those study goes on to say, 409 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: is that it can weaken your ability to deal with stress. 410 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,479 Speaker 1: The study goes on to say that sugary foods can 411 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: actually in the body's ability to respond to stress. Sugar 412 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: can help you feel less frazzled by suppressing the hypothalamic 413 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: picititory adrenal HPA axis in your brain, which controls your 414 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: response to stress. Researchers at the University of California Davis 415 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: found that sugar inhibited stress induced cortisol secretion in healthy 416 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: female participants, minimizing feelings of anxiety and tension. Cortizol is 417 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: known as the stress hormone, right, So it's interesting to 418 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: me that if you can monitor your sugar intake, as 419 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: I said, turned to that expert episode with Jesse and Shape, 420 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: and we start to recognize these connections between mind and body, 421 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: there can be a lot we can do for our 422 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: mental health based on what we eat and what we consume. 423 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: I am sending you lots of love. I hope that 424 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: you shared this episode with a friend. I hope that 425 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: it's informative to give you some easy, simple ideas that 426 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: can make a big difference in your life. And remember this, 427 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 1: I am forever in your corner and I'm always rooting 428 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 1: for you, and I appreciate you deeply. Thanks for tuning in. 429 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with 430 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by 431 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: changing your brain. 432 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 2: If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with 433 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 2: a healthy brain. You know I've had the blessing or 434 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,439 Speaker 2: the curse to scam. Over one thousand convicted felons and 435 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 2: over one hundred murderers and their brands are very damaged. 436 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 1: For Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm partnering up with the 437 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: National Alliance of Mental Illness NAME. If you're someone you 438 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,880 Speaker 1: know is struggling with mental health, there is help. Call 439 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: Name Helpline at eight hundred nine fifty n ME or 440 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 1: go to www dot name dot org, forward slash help, 441 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: or text Helpline to six two six four zero for 442 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: immediate twenty vo four seven crisis support. Call your text 443 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 1: nine eight eight or visit www dot nine eight eight 444 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 1: lifeline dot org.