WEBVTT - Recovery Run: The Power of a Simple Text 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:05.720 Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ, where 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:07.880 the Amy is back in the Amy and DJ. 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:09.400 Wow. 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:11.200 I've been gone. 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:14.680 I've been missing the podcasting, but I listened. I was 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:17.799 an avid listener while I was gone. You did a 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:18.360 great job. 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:20.720 I was an avid worker while you were gone. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.639 I know I felt I felt a little guilty about 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:28.200 being gone and not pitching in. However, I was sweating 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:34.840 and actually into significant manual labor getting my daughter upstairs 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:38.879 into her new home in Boulder, Colorado at college. And 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.160 it just so happened to be the two hottest days 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:44.839 of the year in Boulder. It was about ninety five. 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:48.400 And you know, when you're in the Milehouse mile High City, 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:52.680 or at least nearby, the sun is even more strong, 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:56.680 like it's stronger actually than it is somewhere here on. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:57.200 The East Coast. 0:00:57.280 --> 0:01:00.840 So yes, I'm so sorry. I appreciate you holding down 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:03.840 the floor. Sorry for one for not being a partner, 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:05.920 a podcast partner. 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:06.800 The last two days. 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:08.000 Stop stop Is that for real? 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:09.480 Oh my god? 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:11.520 Yes, I absolutely suffered from Okay. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.240 Then I am sorry for not being a good life 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.280 partner because I wasn't there as you were moving at 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.000 least in school So does that sound just to you 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.480 as ridiculous as it sounds to me when you're telling 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:24.280 me you're not a good party. 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:29.120 This is one actually great partners respect where each person 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:34.600 needs to be and we are actually we divided and conquered. Yes, 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:36.560 and sometimes you have to do that when you're a couple. 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:40.880 Yeah, And you know I felt it this this week, right, 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.959 this is our recovery run. And we debated, folks, will 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.360 be honest with you all, we're like, get we got like, 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.240 we're such failures this week at doing what we're encouraging 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:51.320 people to do, which is to make sure you make time, 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.320 make sure you take a beat, make sure you recover, 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:56.480 make sure you check in is another way to put that. 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.240 And we failed at it so much as we that 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:02.880 we were debating that you were sitting at the table 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.240 almost pounding the table. What can we tell them? 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:11.960 Yes, like, we're here on Saturdays to not only inspire 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:16.359 folks who are listening to prioritize not just themselves individually, 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:20.040 but also themselves as a couple. Just we have to 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:23.880 take these moments, even as parents, especially as parents, to 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:27.360 make time for the primary relationship, the relationship you have 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.600 with your partner. And the relationship you have with yourself. 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:33.280 This week, as everyone listening who has busy lives, which 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.440 I'm sure most of you do, it was almost it 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:41.160 was nearly impossible to do that because we went from 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:46.680 moving or helping move out my oldest daughter, Ava, who's 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.520 twenty two, into her big girl apartment in Brooklyn, and 0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:52.440 TJ was an amazing partner doing all of that. We'll 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:56.320 get into that in a second, to then celebrating TJ's 0:02:56.320 --> 0:03:00.680 forty eighth birthday, which was incredible to me, then heading 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:04.280 to Boulder to get daughter number two settled in her 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:10.799 sophomore year, to coming back and now preparing for more transitions. 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:13.079 So yes, it has been one of those weeks, folks. 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.799 But I have to say, TJ, this was part of 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.520 the recovery that I feel like we did succeed at 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:20.720 because although we were apart for a couple of days, 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:23.880 which is highly unusual in a lot of ways, I 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:29.799 felt even closer to you. Why I was hoping you 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.680 would ask, because I was actually focused on someone on 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.400 one time with my daughter and you actually were focused 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:39.280 on someone on time with your daughter, So that was 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:43.600 really cool. But during all of that time apart, you 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:44.880 and I have to give you total credit. 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:45.880 You were you had. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.760 You had some incredibly kind and loving and sweet and 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.000 beautiful text that you sent to me that made me 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.280 feel even closer to you, things that maybe we wouldn't 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.600 say for whatever reason, face to face or if we've 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:03.480 just spent twenty four to seven together, that you were 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:05.280 able to express in a way that I was able 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.080 to read and take in. Like, there were several times 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:10.120 I got texts from you where tears actually swelled up 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:10.640 in my eyes. 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.360 So yeah, well, I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't mean 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:14.920 for that. 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:19.600 Good tears, tears of joy, tiers of connection and closeness 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:23.800 and feeling supported even though we were apart. I hope 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:25.680 and I know you also sent me some sweet text 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:30.039 about just what we because your birthday unfortunately landed in 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.279 the middle of two major moves with the girls, and 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.279 so that's chaos, and it was nice to have we 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:37.160 did their. 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.279 Moves landed in the middle of my birth That's true. 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:40.880 What that might be a better way to put. 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:42.800 It put it. That was a bad plan on their part, 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.440 those two girls of selfish as hell. It annoys me. 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:47.520 Let me just get this out, knock. 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.960 But we were actually we we took a I guess 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:54.760 you could call it a Staycasian because we were trying 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:56.839 to find a place where we could get away for 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.240 your birthday with Sabine. 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:00.640 But also I had be close to. 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.480 JFK because I had a really early fight the next 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:08.279 morning after your birthday. So it did take some planning. 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.360 But maybe we can give ourselves some credit on a 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:16.040 Recovery Run episode where we're talking about prioritizing that sort 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:22.200 of thing by saying we did find time for each other, 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:23.839 and we did. 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:25.599 Even if it was a text. So it doesn't have 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:26.000 to be. 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.440 Some grand gesture or some major thing that you do 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:33.080 to recover. It can just be as simple as a 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:38.080 kind message, a sweet text, a way to let your 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:42.359 partner know you're thinking about them. That can almost be 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:47.320 as beautiful as some major trip or some major something else. 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.479 You know that makes sense, And I know what you're saying. 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:55.719 We haven't completely talked about this, but I it's not 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.919 I don't want to go with the absence makes the 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:03.080 heart grow fun little shit. I never liked that, but 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:07.279 what it highlighted for me this week. Wow, I haven't talked, 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.560 I have thought about this. I think I was walking 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.799 around the house even saying this and having this discussion 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:18.960 with myself that it highlighted how much of a partner 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:24.600 you are and how valuable a partner is, because when 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:29.120 you were gone, I felt your absence more than I 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:33.560 think I appreciate your presence, and so I don't appreciate 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:35.920 your presence until I feel the absence, And that sucks. 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:40.000 That's not the way it should be. But I think 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.960 you could understand as well. I think you would have 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:47.560 appreciated in bolder moving your daughter into her house and 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:51.400 being with friends and managing other parents and doing target 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:55.040 runs and halding stuff up the stairs if you had 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:56.799 a partner there. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.280 Oh, I missed you terribly, and not just for your 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.960 physical like all ability to help with the like actual, 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.880 but just even yeah, your support, having a partner. 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.560 All of that. So the thing you were missing there 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:14.880 not even specific to me. I'm just saying I was 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:17.560 feeling on this end to where you and I are 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.760 such partners day in day out, and then when you're 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.720 gone and all of a sudden, I have to do 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.120 this and this and this, and I don't get support 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.000 for this and this and this and this. You just 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:34.040 feel that absence and I thought, wow, we have a 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:38.520 great thing going. We actually have a great thing going 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.840 because I am feeling and I am appreciating her. I 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:44.760 am wanting her to feel me. I was. I absolutely 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:48.240 wanted to be there. Our schedules ended up being as 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:49.480 crazy as they are. 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.080 You had parenting to do. I had parenting to do. 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.200 And this is something that look a lot of folks 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.080 who have second marriages, third marriages. Just how many people 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:02.360 in this world have blended families and you have to 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.320 and even if you don't have a blended family, sometimes 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.760 you just have a large family or multiple children. If 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:08.520 it comes to just who takes the kid to the 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.600 hockey practice and who takes the kid to the soccer game. 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.680 I mean, parents everywhere know what this is. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.560 I was just thinking about parents who had so I 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.040 and this is this is me going on a sidebar. 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:24.440 In full disclosure, I never encouraged my kids to be 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.640 on team sports because I did not want to have 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:28.920 to deal with that as a single parent. 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:31.480 That was the most selfish thing I've ever heard you. 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:34.800 It was I was like, you should be in theater 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.079 because then I knew, you know, you've got the practice 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:38.920 at the theater, and then you could just go to. 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:39.800 A Friday night play. 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.120 I don't have to get up at whatever o'clock can 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.000 take you to swim practice. 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:44.640 Nah. 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.439 So if we'd have had a son, you had him 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:48.479 a hockey playing theater guy. 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.080 No, I would not encourage hockey. Do you know what 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:53.679 hockey moms and hockey dads have to do. It's insane. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:55.439 I've heard from other people. So yes, I was being 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:59.800 strategic on my part to do as little schlepping as possible. 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:04.520 But I direst and I think everybody knows this. Our 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:05.160 son would not. 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.200 Have played hoc No, I'm going to go with no, 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:07.720 I'm not going to. 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:12.199 Go oh, I'm just thinking about what you excel at 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.400 and assuming our son would have excelled at the same 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.880 sports you exceled at, I'll just leave it at that. 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.440 And then if we had a daughter, yeah, theater, of course, 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:22.280 that's exactly what would have happened. 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:24.240 But no, I do think that there are. 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.600 These moments where you do have to divide and conquer. 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:32.280 And it's one thing to feel your partner's absence, but 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:34.960 it's another thing to express it and to let your 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:37.480 partner know how much you missed them. For a whole 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.800 host of reasons, and I just think that that adds. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:44.400 That deepens a connection, It deepens a relationship, It deepens 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.880 even a friendship and a partnership. Like we are teammates 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.440 and sometimes we forget how much we do lean on 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:51.560 each other and how much we do kind of fall 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:53.880 into our roles. I'll do this, you do that, and 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.600 together it happens because we each do our part. 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.480 I even blew it on one of the morning runs 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.840 this week, one of the daily podcast news podcasts that 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:08.479 we do every single day. We know this thing inside 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.760 and out. We have a rhythm. I had to do 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:13.080 it on my own two days this week. And there's 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.840 one point we add every single time robes. It's our 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.640 quote of the day at the end. It's like clockwork. 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:23.120 You can depend on that being there. But that is 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.720 your role, right. 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.760 It just so happens that we've kind of you do 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:30.760 the top of the show where you and you do 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.720 the teases. You're really good at going to break and 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:33.800 teasing what's next. 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:35.280 I don't have to think about it. 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:38.520 I usually end up putting in the reads and who 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:42.280 reads what I organize, what's the top story, what's the kicker? 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.720 And that's maybe newspeaker for people who don't know, and 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:47.360 then I do quote the day so all of a 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:50.080 sudden when the other person's missing, which is very rare, 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:53.200 and so you shouldn't have to beat yourself up. In fact, 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.640 I listened to all the podcasts that you did in 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.400 my absence, and I was laughing when you forgot the quote. 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.520 But I said, I appreciate the fact that you didn't 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:03.200 just hustle and try to come up with that. You 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:06.720 acknowledge it. There was full transparency. So here I am 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:10.120 now having to admit that I did not realize. 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:11.160 That I did not put in a pen. 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:13.720 I mean I had. You should have seen me. This 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.560 would have been on video. It was full panic, like 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.439 two stories prior, because holy hell, I did do it. 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:23.280 Because we fall into our lanes and our zone, and 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:25.640 you know what, I can trust and depend on you, 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:29.840 and some I never have to think about the quote 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.000 of the day because it's taken care of. And there 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.360 are some things that you shouldn't have to think about, 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:39.480 either in moving a child into the house, going to school, 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.320 or whatever it may be. And just I hate it 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:44.400 not being there. You hate it not being here. But 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.839 I to your point, and this is a positive of 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:51.680 the week. It's not an absence makes the heart grow 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.720 fonder situation. It was a realization or appreciation of what 0:11:55.760 --> 0:12:00.640 we have, what we do, and what we still have 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:05.800 a very passionate desire to do for each other. That 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.840 getting reminded of that because of absence, that was a 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:11.560 good part of the week. 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:16.440 And so I can't wait to let everyone hear what 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:22.600 our reunion was like on Friday afternoon. Before we go 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.160 to break, I have to tell you about my new obsession. 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:28.600 These leggings I can't stop wearing. They're from a brand 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.920 called Tona, and they were created by the same designer 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.320 who helped build Lulu Lennit, so you just know they're 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.679 going to be amazing. They're incredibly soft, hug in all 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.600 the right places, and still manage to be super supportive. 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.960 They're the perfect legging. I've been wearing them for workouts 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.840 and runs, errands and even when I'm hanging out at home. 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:50.280 They're just that good And the best part, every purchase 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:53.720 helps fundamental health counseling session for a team in need. 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.240 Tona is committed to ending team suicide and self harm, 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:00.800 a mission that truly matters, and we with Tona to 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:03.800 give you twenty percent off your order and free shipping. 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.880 Head to tonaactive dot com and use code iHeart for 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:20.560 twenty percent off and free shipping. And welcome back everyone 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.280 to this Saturday edition of Morning Run. 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:24.880 We call it our recovery Run. 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:28.280 It's August twenty third, and yeah, we are recovering from 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:33.000 the week, and we're recognizing that with all that we 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:36.080 had to do this week, and it was quite a 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:39.920 lot to take on that the recovery was perhaps just 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:44.360 recognizing how much we actually do for one another and 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:48.719 how much we love being together and how well we 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:52.800 work together. So I was so looking forward to coming 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.680 back on Friday afternoon. I was missing my girl. I 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:57.800 do have to admit the first moment any parent out 0:13:57.800 --> 0:13:59.600 there who's dropped their kid off at college and this 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.280 is that time of year. But the second I walked 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.240 into the apartment, I tears welled up. 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.640 I was fine. I made it. 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.800 I left Annalise. She was actually staying in a hotel 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:11.880 room because her bed didn't get delivered until this morning, 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:15.280 or until Friday morning. But I left Analise. I didn't 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.680 cry on the plane. I didn't cry, but I walked 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:20.840 into the apartment, I'm gonna cry. And I saw her 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.520 room and I just, you know, started to cry. 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:25.360 But it's fine. She's so happy. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:30.520 She's in a very good place with great kids, and 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.960 she literally has like the Disneyland of college campuses at Boulder, Colorado. 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:36.560 If y'all have never been there, it is such a 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.200 beautiful place to be. So I'm super happy for her, 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.680 and that pushes me through. But waiting for TJ and Sabine. 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.120 Actually they were at lunch to come back, and I 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:50.120 was standing out on the balcony eating a salad and 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:55.960 DJ comes in silently, stealthily, and what did you do? 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:59.800 Babe? I just gave you a big kiess know you 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.800 did not be honest. Why are you on the balcony 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:06.200 with your back turn, leaning over the balcony with your 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.200 salad dangling over walking New Yorkers. 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:11.320 The truth is I was trying to take in New 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:14.200 York City because I was trying to keep my emotions 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:15.560 at bay with how I was feeling. 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.480 When I walked in and saw her room, I. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.160 Was like, I'm just gonna feel some fresh air, if 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:22.440 you can call New York City air fresh. But it 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:24.360 was the air I had available to me. 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:25.000 At the moment. 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.600 And then yes, he came up and he would whoa 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:34.400 and he grabbed my shoulders. I screamed, had you welcome home? 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:36.800 You can I do this once every two weeks. Maybe 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.600 you I come over and you leave, you leave the 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:44.040 door propped open for me. If I'm out and I 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:45.720 come back and you're out of the shower, So how 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.640 do you not know I'm coming back? 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.680 I mean, I know generally you're about to come back, 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.239 but I feel like most people announce themselves. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.240 Oh that was my announcement. But that's all bad. We 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:59.720 should have been here when you got it. I didn't 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.200 think of at it, but to think about you coming 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.640 to an empty home, we should have given that more consideration. 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:07.000 You would not have been in tears. If Sabine and 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:10.520 I and there was joy and laughter and family in 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:12.600 the house, you wouldn't have I don't think you would 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:14.120 have felt the same way. So that's that's all us. 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:18.960 That's our bad. Actually blame Sabine, she insists, on going out. 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.680 I mean it was a moment like honestly, no, I 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.360 don't blame you at all. I just had Yeah, it 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:27.240 was a quiet like again, any parent who. 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.440 Has their kids leave like you complain about the shoes 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.720 being in the hallway and a mess and things being 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.120 left around the house, and all of a sudden you 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:39.680 come in and everything's clean, everyone's moved their stuff out, 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:40.520 it's quiet. 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.000 There's a moment off. 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:45.360 I had that moment too when I came in and 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:46.160 the house was clean. 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:51.600 You're like, oh, thank god, those messy kids are gone. 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.280 You know. This is when I came in and I 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:57.000 realized that they were gone. And you know what the 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.720 cleaner came in was that yesterday she came in. 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.880 Yeah, So it's funny I have when, by the way, 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:08.560 when the kids are not here, I literally ended the cleaning. 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.399 I was like, I don't need a cleaner. I'm and 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.320 I are both very clean. We don't really need a cleaner. 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.600 And then the moment they came back, which was in May, 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:18.159 I was like, yeah, I'm gonna need to pursue. 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:21.120 I'm gonna need you to come back. 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.879 So, yes, I've now I amended it to like twice 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:25.840 a month, but I forgot. Actually, yes, she came on 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:27.639 Thursday after the girls. 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.879 Left, okay, and then I came back in and the 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.880 first time I came back in to your point, coming 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:38.439 to an empty house, a clean house. And I walked 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:43.320 in to your point, and the first thing I said was. 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:49.479 Hallelujah. Look, it's funny, like my mom used to tell 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:49.720 me that. 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:52.320 She's like when the girls were little and you would 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:54.600 go on vacation away from them, she was like, the 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:57.520 first like, when you're leaving and you're speeding away from 0:17:57.560 --> 0:18:00.919 the house, you're sobbing. Maybe even the first night on vacation, 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:02.359 do you feel like you have a hole in your 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.360 heart because your kids are not with you and you're 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:05.120 worried about them? 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.200 Like by day two you're like, I think I'm okay, 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:08.520 and then. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:13.160 By day three you're like, whoo party. So I know 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.639 I'll get back into a place where I feel like 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:21.040 they're on the right path. They're good, they're safe, they're supported. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:25.639 But I'm getting there already. Well, I still just like 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:27.960 it's gonna take a like, but it won't take long. 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:32.080 The funny thing is I get adjusted and then they 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:33.520 come back. I'm like, you're back again. 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:34.840 That was so soon. 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:39.400 But it is a process. 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.560 It is transition and change is hard. And look, this 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.959 was a stressful transitional week. But I do think the 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.760 best way I could describe the recovery, or at least 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:55.840 the moment where I did feel peace, it was it 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:58.760 was arm texting back and forth. I just I guess 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.480 the takeaway from this week for me was, even if 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:03.439 you are seeing each other a lot and you live together, 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:06.840 you're not separated during the day when you're at work 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.920 and someone else's you know, you're off doing separate things. 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:11.639 Just a note. 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.000 All you have to say is I love you period, 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:19.080 I miss you period, Like that little text means everything, 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:23.000 and that you know that intellectually. But I really felt 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:26.640 that this week, and I felt like our connection deepened 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:28.920 when we were apart, which was pretty cool. 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:31.679 So take that with you, folks, At least as a 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:40.760 part of recovery. You shouldn't have to need confirmation that 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:45.119 you miss your partner, but it's nice when you get it. 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:51.000 Yeah, it's actually great, So yeah, send that message. Send 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:51.600 that text. 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:55.639 I didn't know, babe, we've spend so much time together 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:59.480 we do that I don't get an opportunity that often 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:03.440 to miss you. And I've even joked before, like I 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.840 miss her if when she goes into the bathroom, because 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:10.119 that's usually not not the shower, just when you go 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.440 use bathroom, the restroom break, bathroom. 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:13.920 Break where you get a break, when are you coming back? 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:16.480 Because even when you're in the shower, I have free 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:18.720 reigin coming in and out of the bathroom, so I 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.800 even then I don't necessarily miss you, or if I did, 0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:24.800 I could go see you saying we just don't have 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:28.040 that many opportunities and when you do, and that comes up. 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.760 And this week was what it was. It was. It 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:34.639 was a it was a beautiful relationship week. So that 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:37.760