WEBVTT - Carefully Reckless Replay - Protect Black Men 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:06.400 and The Black Effect. Hey, y'all, what's up. It's your Girl, 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.720 Just hilarious and carefully Reckless. Ain't going nowhere. I just 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:11.760 took a low break, but y'all know I can't leave 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:14.320 your high and dry. So we're gonna running back and 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:17.400 listen to one of the most ranked fan favorite episodes. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.560 Tune in and hole type and I'll be back before 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:27.159 you know it. What Up? What up? Welcome back to 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.880 another episode of Carefully Reckless with Your Girl Just Hilarious. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:36.400 Story time. I remember we all took a trip to 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.360 Puerto Rico. Now we all is me and a couple 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.920 of other couples, because it was like a couple's trip. 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:46.040 Don't ask me who I took because honestly, I don't remember, 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.600 and this was just last year. I do remember my 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.400 aunt and my uncle being one of the couples. Now 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:55.200 I'm related to my aunt. She's my biological aunt, and 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.840 my uncle is my uncle because he's married to her. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:05.360 My aunt is hm very snobby. She's the rich auntie 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:09.920 that you know most families have. She's very straightforward, she's blunt. 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:13.760 She's like me, but more disrespectful and her husband, on 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.520 the other hand, he's very quiet, laid back, chill to himself. 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:20.200 I love my uncle. He's cool. Obviously they were having 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.080 a problem in their marriage. I don't know why the 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.120 hell they would even come on a trip and try 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:28.479 to mask their problem. But game night, right the night 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.679 before we left, we were playing the game Guestris. That's 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.800 when you gotta do charades or whatever, and it's a 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.200 team game. I don't know why we didn't do men 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.520 versus women. I do not know why, just to keep 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.480 the confusion down and it would have been more fun. 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:43.640 But we decided to do couples against couples. Now it 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.920 was four couples. So it's eight people, two teams of 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:51.200 two couples each. Right, Oh my gosh. They couldn't agree 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.960 on anything, my aunt uncle, they couldn't agree. First of all, 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:57.240 when he first got there, they were very distant. They 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:00.720 were being caddy toward one another. The team was high. 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:03.360 It was awkward as fun to be around them because 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:05.560 you knew, you know, when two people are beating, you 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.640 walk into a room to get quiet, or they already 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:09.799 quiet when you enter the room. That ship is crazy, right, 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:12.320 So we're playing a game. Round one, they couldn't agree 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.560 on ship. Round two, couldn't agree on ship. They grew 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:17.919 more heated and heated. By the end of the game, 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.640 they were at each other's next yea like real ship. 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:23.960 So my uncle says something like, man, I'm out of 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.720 this motherfucker. I'm I'm out. This bitch went on the balcony. 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.720 Want to go light up a blunt on his way out. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:31.799 She said, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:35.679 He just mad because I make more money than his ass. 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:39.320 All bets are off. Now he turns back around. He 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.280 gets upset. He looks like, how the fund can you 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.960 even say this ship? How can you even say this 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.120 ship in front of people. I told you she had 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:49.160 a few drinks, so did he. But women one thing 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:51.960 about us. When we hit we hit below the fucking belt. 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:55.200 And that ship is not healthy. Not in a fucking marriage, 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:58.800 not in a friendship, not in any type of companionship 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.280 you got going on. Never hit below the belt, especially 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.480 against somebody you love, in front of a bunch of people. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.880 I remember nobody checking on him either. I remember that 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.720 nobody would to go check on him, even the other guys. 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:13.359 I mean I guess they just didn't want to insert 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:15.480 themselves into the business of my aunt, my uncle and 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.520 ship like that. But all of us was trying to 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.200 calm her down. We all was checking on her. And 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:23.480 you know, even my date, I remember him check. Oh, 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:25.080 I remember who it is now, but y'all still ain't 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:27.200 getting that information. He would to go check on her. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.280 Everybody was checking on her. Nobody went on the balcony 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.919 with my uncle to check on him. He's smoking a blunt, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:37.480 he't chilling, he quiet anyway, So he's very unapproachable looking, 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.240 So I guess that's why as well. I remember the 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:42.760 next day when we all woke up to leave, because 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:44.920 that was our our last day on the trip. Our 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.480 flights were in the afternoon. We woke up, he was gone. 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:49.440 He got up and he flew the funk out. He 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:53.120 didn't say goodbye to anybody. Nothing like that. Now, with 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:57.760 that story in mine, today's topic is a black man's vulnerability. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:01.040 It's important to talk about that type ship these days 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:05.360 because it's a very feminist time in life right now. 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.680 Women we get the spotlight a lot more now, and 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.200 that's great. You know, the black woman is strong, the 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.240 black woman is this the black woman is that. Yes, 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:16.880 we are where everything alpha and omega and everything in between. 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.440 You take us away, you ain't got ship. But at 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:23.279 the same time, we still have another another piece of 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:27.839 humanity that we tend to just forget. That's the man. 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:32.359 You can't spell humanity without man, and we we tend 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:36.320 not to give a funk about a man's failings. Now, 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:40.560 usually the next segment is just fix my mess. However, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.400 I knew, I just knew there would be no men 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:48.559 who would willingly address their vulnerabilities and insecurities or whatever. 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.520 We have that, but that's the problem with our men 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.640 these days. We have to get them to talk more. 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:57.120 And I know the tradition is, you know, men don't cry. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.599 Men are not supposed to cry. Men don't be weak. 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.840 You can't open up about ship. You have to keep 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:06.159 it all inside because you're a man. You gotta be strong, 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:10.279 you gotta be barbarian like. But that's bullshit, because men 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.800 still have hearts, they still have feelings their women without pussies. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.920 That's it, Like a woman is a man without a dick. 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:19.719 We are the same, We're all people. We just have 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.720 different ships between our legs. That's the only difference between us. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.800 There are lots of insecurities that men struggle with, and 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.040 it's a lot of ship that men deal with that 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.880 women deal with as well, but it's overlooked when it's 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.720 a man like men get cheated on, they get raped 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:38.440 as children. You know, men go through all types of ship. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:42.279 They go through money problems, they go through losing friends, 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:45.760 they have confidence issues. You got men getting surgery nowadays. 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:47.640 If you don't like the way you look, change it. 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:50.240 That's not only meant for a woman, you know what 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:51.880 I mean. There are a lot of things that men 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:54.560 deal with, but then you have the falsehood of ego. 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:57.719 That's the mask that they put on so they won't 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:01.159 have to face themselves or face their problems, and also 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:02.960 so no one around them will know what they're really 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:07.160 going through. That's why it's very important to have barbershop talk. 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.680 Like you know, how we go and get our hair 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.240 done and we talked to our styles about everything. Well, 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.880 I don't know, these days, these stylers are so fucking messy. 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:16.760 I don't know. I don't talk to my styler is 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:21.039 about a motherfucking thing. But you know it's easy, you know, 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:23.320 as women, we go and we talk about ship, talk 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:25.600 about these men. We're sitting these shares and let these 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:28.279 women do our hand. We start sparking up conversations about 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:31.000 how niggason did us wrong, and and then how we're 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.080 doing a nigga's wrong. You never know what's gonna come 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:34.920 out of your mouth. And a fucking hand saloon because 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.680 you're comfortable, you're amongst other women who are having some 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.080 of the same problems. Now put the same thing in 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:44.080 the barbershop. The barbershop setting. These men have these conversations, 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:46.320 but I'm telling you a lot of times because I 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.200 used to work at a barbershop. Yes, they have the 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:52.239 same conversations we have. But men still front. Men front 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:55.640 for other men. No man wants another man to know 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.400 his struggles. Whether he's the man's best friend or not. 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:02.080 He does not want anyone to know his struggles. You're 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.640 always supposed to be the perfect strong man and anything 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:08.039 your friendships. If you've got a group of friends, you 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:10.080 want to be you want to appear as the richest friend, 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:12.960 the friend that got it all together, and you don't. Now, 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.320 men have a lot of issues that they struggle with. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:19.200 That's why they can't properly assess kids and women. You 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:21.320 know what I'm saying. I'm not making up excuses because 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.000 this is not every man's problem, but majority you'd be surprised. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:26.880 And I was having a discussion with one of my 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:30.040 buddies and he calls it the trickle down theory. A 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.680 lot of these men's issues are deep rooted, goes back 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:36.400 to their childhood, goes back to generations and generations before them, 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.600 great great grandfathers. They didn't know how to love properly 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:44.120 because their father didn't do that. Their father didn't show them. 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:47.480 Their father didn't put him on his back and you know, 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:49.600 run around the house with him or wrestle them or 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.040 you know, or wrap them in his arms and telling 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:55.000 me loves them. None of that. I remember a picture 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:58.080 that was going around with whis Khalifa kissing his son 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.360 Sebastian and his mouth. Now, a lot of men they 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:03.400 had something to say about that. A lot of women 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:05.920 has something to say about that. But that's why we 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.160 feel like we that's I said, we like I'm a man, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.920 and sometimes I swear I am, you know, But that's 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.560 why men feel like they got to be so hard 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:18.040 up because they're scared to show affection even to women 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.040 scared to show affection. That's why a lot of gay 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.520 men are scared of coming out. It's just a man 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.000 is a man. At the end of the day. They 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:28.120 have hearts, they have feelings. With Khalifa teaching that little 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:31.800 boy love, he's teaching him love. There's nothing wrong with 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:33.840 him kissing his son in them off, that's his fucking son. 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.280 Mind your fucking business. Then, on the other hand, you 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.640 got a man who never kisses his son, whether it 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:43.040 be on a forehead, cheek, whatever mouth. You got men 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:47.040 that never kiss their fucking sons never. Now, imagine those 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:49.360 young men that's gonna grow up who don't know how 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:53.040 to show affection to a woman. No, no, no, no no no. 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:55.600 They they might think kissing his mushy. They don't want 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:57.880 that ship. Oh no, no, no, hell no. My father 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:00.560 never did death. No no, no no. Even if you 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.719 did have a mother, that's affectionate to you, telling you 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:06.240 your father plants the seed. Every household needs a dad, 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.440 Every child needs a dad, and every child needs a 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.520 mother's love, but also the love and affection from a father. 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.120 That's why I praise Russell Willson. He shows love to 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.760 baby future, he shows him love he's not hard up 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:22.000 with the dude with the little boy. He's not that 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:25.480 one on one they get. Sierra is not always around 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.760 when baby Future is in the care of Russell. You 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.280 know what I'm saying, He wants that one on one 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:32.000 showing him love and affection, not saying his father doesn't. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:33.800 But I only know what we see, and we see 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:37.320 Russell giving him that affection. If you love me, you'll 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.839 listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back again. 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:44.920 General curses that has to be broken. Maybe someone's father 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:49.439 beat their mother growing up in abusive household. A lot 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:53.160 of guys seen there. Their mothers get beaten by their father. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:57.240 Seeing their fathers even you know, beat on them. That's 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:01.240 also a generational curse. That's also how man feels like 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.640 he has to be so tough. Or my father beat 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.240 my mother. My father never hugged and kissed on my mother. 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.559 I never saw that, So that's what I am. My 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:13.320 own brother can't stand his father, but in hindsight, he 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.080 acts just like his dad. You know what I'm saying. 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.600 That ship sticks with your kids, and that's why generational 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.840 curses have to be broken. That's exactly why, or it'll 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:23.440 be hard for you to be a parent. It'll be 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:25.040 hard for you to be a husband, It'll be hard 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.560 for you to be a brother. It'll be hard. You 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:30.280 have to break it. Manyy therapy, just like us women 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:35.600 many love a lot of times. There is no framework meaning. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:40.040 Nobody taught this man structure. Nobody taught him how to 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.559 be honest with himself about his struggles. Nobody's taught him 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.040 how to open up about them, you know, whether it 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.240 be to other friends. That's why men are so scared 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.319 of therapy. I'm not about to go lay on the 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.720 couch and and tell no woman how I fail. She 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.839 can't help me. I'm I'm I'm a man, I'm tough 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.080 and no, but I don't want nobody in my business. 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:02.400 That's where manipulation comes into play. Most mass manipulating men 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:06.320 have these issues deep deep, deep down inside. Manipulation can't 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.880 just come from nowhere. My son's father is very manipulative, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.400 and now so is my son. My son hasn't even 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:18.920 lived his life fully. He's eight and he is a 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:22.520 little manipulator for real. He gets it from his dad. 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:24.840 But you know, Jerome has a lot of issues. Jerome 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:26.920 is my son's father's name is a lot of issues 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.280 that he hasn't come to grips with. He hasn't put 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.160 out those fires in those roots yet. And he even 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:35.240 told me, I mean, sometimes I think about going to therapy, 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:36.800 but then I mean, what is that ship gonna do 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.440 for me? That's that ego I was talking about. That 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.600 goes back to the falsehood of ego. What do you 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.679 mean You're trying to be so tough, You're trying to 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:48.520 appear as something that you've trained yourself to be so 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.040 you don't have to deal with the issues, you don't 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:51.760 have to face them. But in all reality, you will 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:53.640 never be happy, You will never find love, You will 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.920 never ever ever stop going from woman to woman looking 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.360 for what you're missing if you don't get to the 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:02.000 root of your problem your own self. This is what 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.280 I've told him tom after time, even examples and movies 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.440 that they put in front of our faces on why 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:11.120 did I get married Angela and Marcus? She constantly put 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.480 the man down. That's what my aunt did, put the 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:17.560 man down about making less than she did. But then 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.560 why did I get married? Marcus was pro football player. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.920 They started with his money. He got hurt, he got injured, 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:28.160 and then the burden fell on the wife. Nevertheless, she 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:30.120 picked it up, but she threw it in his face. 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.360 This is my money, Marcus. You ain't going nowhere. You 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.520 ain't gonna leave me because this is my money. That 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:37.839 forced that man to cheat. He did not want to 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:42.439 leave his wife. But dealing with a woman seven, that's 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.520 throwing something in your face, that fox with a man's dignity, 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.440 that fox with a man's pride. So he cheated. He 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.760 cheated with someone who ain't gonna do that ship that 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.880 ain't constantly talking about he broke and reminding him of 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.920 his past and oh, yeah, you you did make money 0:12:58.080 --> 0:12:59.920 until you hurt yourself. Now you ain't got nothing come 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.480 you know what I'm saying. She constantly reminded Marcus that 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.280 he had to work for her in her Salon the 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.920 episode of Martin where Martin was so upset that Gina 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:10.880 made more than him. He didn't even know that ship 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:13.160 and it came out that she made more than him. 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.120 He was pissed the whole episode. Now, these are real 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:17.640 situations that they put on TV. Yes, it was a 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:21.720 fictional sitcom, but it's real life. Ship Men deal with 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.440 all types of ship men deal with financial struggles. Men 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.560 deal with abust from their women. Men deal with a lot. 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:31.040 These black men, man, they go through a lot. We're 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.880 gonna take it back even further to color purple. Remember 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:37.000 Silly and Mr. He beat that woman and she still 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.800 want to go get up and cook for the family 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:43.480 through the baby's hair. All of that that was regular 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.199 back then. That was fucking regular. And then he had 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.080 a fucking mistress who was sucked up in the head 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:51.720 as well. She was being mentally abused, she was being prostituted. 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:55.319 But Mr. Was dealing with struggles far beyond the abuse. 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.559 Maybe he was abused when he was younger and ship 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:01.440 like that. He couldn't love Silly, He couldn't love Sutter, 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.040 He couldn't love anybody, probably because he didn't address his 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.880 own issues. He would beat the shut out of Silly 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:09.800 and she would get the funk up and go cook 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.640 dinner for the family like it was regular. That should happen. 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.400 Even back in slavery, the black man has always had 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.440 to bore the physical part of slavery. You gotta think 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.600 about it. When the black man is born, they were 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.000 trained by white men. They would take the biggest black man. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:29.560 This is the one I got to do all the work. 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:31.720 Then the workout in the fields and ship. They would 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.000 get them real strong and buff like animals. They treated 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.880 the black man like animals. That's what the black man 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.720 was used for. The black man was seen as a machine, 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:45.440 a strong ass animal, beaten when they didn't move, beaten 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.640 for not doing something right, beaten no matter what it 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.840 was for. Nevertheless, they were fucking beaten. Which takes me 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.600 back to Mr. And Silly. When she didn't do something right, 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:58.040 he beat her. Sometimes she wouldn't even do ship. He 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:00.360 would just beat her. His ass was beat you know 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:02.680 what I mean. It's the trickle down effect that my 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.960 homeboy was talking about. It's also the devalue of a 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:10.960 black man. Even fast forward to the Welfare Reformation, when 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:16.840 blacks started finally getting government assistance. The rules were a 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.640 black man couldn't even be in the fucking house. For 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.600 a woman to receive any type of benefits, the black 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:25.160 man couldn't even be in the fucking house. So the 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.680 black man had the hide. Of course it was for nest, 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:29.920 but when he would come around for the visits and 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.560 shipped to still keep up the benefits or whatever, and 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:34.800 all that type of ship. The evaluations, the man had 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:36.480 to get all of his clothes out of there, and 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.520 and no man could even be in the house, No 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.160 fucking black man could even be in his own house 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:45.560 for the family to receive benefits, to receive help. And 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:49.760 in my opinion, welfare reformation is what started the I 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:53.040 don't need a man mindset for black women. Black women 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:56.720 have had more training on how to defend themselves from 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.840 a black man than to how to love a black 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.640 and I'm telling you it started right there. In my opinion, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.280 you're gonna always see a black woman even today. I 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:07.560 don't need no man, I don't need no nigga. I 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:11.240 do this ship by myself, like bitches love saying that ship. Listen, 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:15.640 you do you do just like the man needs us. 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.720 Black women need black men, and black men need black women. 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.280 I don't give a funk how you feel, what you say. 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.920 If you turn this podcast it off right now, I 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.560 don't give a fuck. Yes we do. We need our 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.680 men and they need us. And that's also why black 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.880 men are so aggressive. Not all of them, but a 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.160 lot of the majority of these men are so aggressive 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:40.680 because we've been taught to defend ourselves against them. So 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.600 of course, like even when when you first meet a man, 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.680 we can see a nigga walking down the street, if 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.280 it's pants a lot too tight or depending on you know, 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:51.880 the sway in his walking or whatever what he got on. 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:55.280 Oh bitch ga, oh bitch she said, drugs, Like we're 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:57.720 judging him at the fucking door. You haven't done that. 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:01.240 We judge these men and then we get upset when 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:04.600 they're with white women, but we often have that. We 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:08.360 don't need your mentality. So actually, we throw these niggas away. 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:11.600 That's what we do. We're throwing them away. And we 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.159 can be very spiteful. Hold up, hold up, I know 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.399 the ship getting good, But listen to just a couple 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.639 of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.359 As black women, yes, we can be very spiteful because, 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:26.480 like I said, we have been trained to defend ourselves. 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.440 So when a man do finally open up, Let's say 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.000 he opened up and tell you about his past or 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:34.040 he has an insecurity. He tells you about one of 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:37.840 his vulnerabilities, You take it, you love him, he falls 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.800 for you, y'all get angry, and you throw that ship 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.280 in his face. You bring that ship up and you 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:46.000 throw that ship out there at him. Well, you was 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:50.240 telling me whatever the problem, whatever the issue is. Then 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:52.879 they shut back down and don't tell you, ask nothing else. 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:56.200 We have to protect our black men just like we 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.160 expect them to protect us. We have to get them 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.960 to talk more. We have to get them to talk more. 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.199 A lot of men grew up in foster homes and 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.840 being passed around from group home the group home. I remember, 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.800 I had a man that worked for me that told 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:12.040 me that man, there's some real ship sys growing up 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.919 being passed around from group home the group almost like jail. 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.000 I feel like he was trying to tell me something. 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:20.200 Maybe he was touched, maybe he was raped. That's why 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.840 he's so fucking mean. That's why he beat niggas the 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.800 way he do. That's why he's had encounters with women 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.960 and fucking children. That's why he's not scared to take 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:30.920 a life. The ship that he had to go through 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.879 growing up. Now he has a lot of children, a 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.280 lot of them got both nine ten children, and all 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:39.160 of them are mixed. None of them are fully African American. 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.840 He also explained to me why none of them are 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:46.560 fully African American. He loves mixed women. He loves Hispanic women. 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.719 They're more submissive. He doesn't have to worry about them 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:52.160 going through his phone, he doesn't have to worry about 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:55.080 them calling him out of his name, poisoning him when 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.439 he's sleep or anything. I'm like, Nigga, what the hell 0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:59.600 have you been through with black women? What the fuck? 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:01.680 That's why you said he's scared the day to another one. 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.600 He told me this, I ain't suing no black women. 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.920 Scared the day to fucking black women. Man. Black women 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:10.119 think their men, is what he said. I can relate 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:12.679 to that because sometimes I feel like I am you 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:15.920 know what I mean. Like we're tough, we're very very tough, 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:18.480 we don't take no ship, but sometimes it's okay to 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:23.320 be soft. Sometimes it is. You also, notice how black 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:26.320 men don't marry black women, even going way back to 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.320 your grandmother. Now, listen, black people will stay together for 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.879 years and years and years, but never married because we've 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:35.640 had no examples to look up to. Now, I don't 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:37.439 want to hear nothing but no Beyonce and jay Z 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.679 and grand Hero and to Mia and and Russell and Sierra. No, no, no, no, 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:44.360 I'm talking about way back, not not celebrities don't throw 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.399 no celebrities in my face. Let's go way back old. 0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:51.960 People will stay together for fucking ever and still still 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:54.680 don't marry each other. I don't know what it is 0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:58.200 about it, but it's hard to marry. We had no 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:03.040 good examples. Even these days, it seems like people can 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:05.239 be in love when they have babies, they break up. 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.520