WEBVTT - Finally! A Show About a Bestselling Author and New Mother

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<v Speaker 1>True to life. This is not the first thing that

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up, Just like every other thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>have been supposed to do since I have had this kid.

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<v Speaker 1>I am late coming to this, so yeah, I'm recording

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<v Speaker 1>this at ten thirty. So far today I have already

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<v Speaker 1>got up with the baby at six thirty, dropped off laundry,

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<v Speaker 1>moved the car, picked up a bunch of rice because

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<v Speaker 1>we were out of rice, made breakfast for the family,

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<v Speaker 1>put the baby, tried to get him to nap by himself. Failed,

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<v Speaker 1>put him down for a nap on my lap, changed

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<v Speaker 1>his diaper a few times, and yep, have him all

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<v Speaker 1>day today, but Thursdays and Fridays he's with a nanny.

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<v Speaker 2>So.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>We can do this. He's looking very calm and very

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<v Speaker 1>cute right now in this stroller. Yeah, that's it. This

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<v Speaker 1>is finally a show about a first time mom and

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<v Speaker 1>first time author. I'm Stephanie Fou. I am a journalist

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<v Speaker 1>and an author of a book called Oh Don't Touch That,

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<v Speaker 1>Let My Bones Know, and I am a new mom

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<v Speaker 1>of a almost six month old baby. My baby boy,

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<v Speaker 1>it's really fixated on this sausage looking microphone wants to

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<v Speaker 1>eat it.

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<v Speaker 3>He is.

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<v Speaker 1>His name is well, we call him baby E and

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<v Speaker 1>he is just about the cutest baby you'll ever see.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that's objectively true. Even my friends who

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<v Speaker 1>don't have kids say that that's true, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>believe it. And then they send me pictures of other

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<v Speaker 1>babies that they think are ugly, so then I really

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<v Speaker 1>believe it. So yeah, he's the cutest ever. He's very social,

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<v Speaker 1>he likes people, he likes his baby Jim. He is

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<v Speaker 1>a very very large eater, and he yeah, he's very

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<v Speaker 1>large in general. He's almost twenty pounds, which is he's

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<v Speaker 1>very heavy, and he's been his whole life, very active

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<v Speaker 1>and strong. Even in the womb, he was nine pounds almost.

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<v Speaker 1>I think when he was born, I'm five to one.

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<v Speaker 1>It wasn't the easiest pregnancy. My first trimester, I was

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<v Speaker 1>very nauseous, my second trimester, I was very constipated. I

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<v Speaker 1>was hospitalized for being too constipated. And then my third

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<v Speaker 1>trimester I lost the ability to walk. So it was

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<v Speaker 1>hard and it was really scary too. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>was probably the hardest part, was just being scared about

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<v Speaker 1>becoming a mom, what that meant, what kind of mom

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<v Speaker 1>I would be, and if I would hate it, or

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<v Speaker 1>if what if I'm like an abusive nightmare mom, or

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<v Speaker 1>what if I don't love him?

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<v Speaker 2>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>And then he came out and he's great, so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>So I wish I had known that when I was pregnant.

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<v Speaker 1>I wish I had known that he was gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>the best baby. I really didn't want to be a

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<v Speaker 1>mom ever. And then I married somebody who really wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to have kids, and then he went on a long

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<v Speaker 1>campaign to convince me to have kids, and then we

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<v Speaker 1>had kids. Before we have a kid, but yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't want kids because I think I have complex PTSD

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<v Speaker 1>and from a really abusive childhood, and there's a lot there.

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<v Speaker 1>I think part of it is I had to do

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<v Speaker 1>so much caretaking for my parents when I was a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't particularly or I didn't particularly enjoy doing caretaking. Therefore,

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<v Speaker 1>as an adult it was kind of triggering. And he

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<v Speaker 1>was basically taught at a young age because both my

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<v Speaker 1>parents abandoned me that you just fend for yourself, you

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<v Speaker 1>take good care of yourself, and you get yours and

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<v Speaker 1>don't trust anyone and that's it. And taking care of

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<v Speaker 1>a kid is pretty much the opposite of that, you

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<v Speaker 1>have to be totally selfless and you also have to Sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>he's just kicking you. I hope you don't mind that

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<v Speaker 1>you have to be totally selfless and you have to

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<v Speaker 1>also rely on other people. You have to rely on

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<v Speaker 1>a whole village. And that concept was really frightening to me.

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<v Speaker 1>And I also was really afraid of you know, all

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<v Speaker 1>I know of being a parent is how my parents

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<v Speaker 1>parented me, and so I was afraid that I was

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<v Speaker 1>just going to pass that down to him. So that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I was very hesitant for a very long time.

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<v Speaker 1>My mom, I think didn't like me very much. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think that she felt really trapped

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<v Speaker 1>being a stay at home mom. I think she felt unfulfilled.

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<v Speaker 1>I think maybe she was not parented very well. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know, but she was pretty extremely physically and verbally abusive.

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<v Speaker 1>And she left when I was thirteen and I have

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<v Speaker 1>never seen her since. So you know that again, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the image I had of mothers of motherhood. And we

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<v Speaker 1>have this book actually called good Night Edgar that we

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<v Speaker 1>got for Christmas, and it's like the crow from never More,

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<v Speaker 1>Like gir Allan Poe and his mom is telling him

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<v Speaker 1>to do things, and he's like never more and never more.

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<v Speaker 1>And at the end he's like, oh, don't pull the

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<v Speaker 1>cat's hair.

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<v Speaker 3>No, everybody, gentle, Okay, chaos, you want to look at

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<v Speaker 3>the worm?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? What was I saying? I was talking about my

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<v Speaker 1>abusive mother. No, okay?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>And at the end he's like, do you love me, mom?

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<v Speaker 1>And she's like forever more? And I was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>I probably will love him forever. And I was that

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<v Speaker 1>was like complete surprise to me and a complete foreign concept,

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<v Speaker 1>isn't that? And then I realized that that's like really

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<v Speaker 1>fucked up and said, but yeah, I still don't really

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<v Speaker 1>like any still don't really like anybody else's baby. Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean they're okay, they're fine, but I like them

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<v Speaker 1>more than I used to. But I really like my own.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm surprised by the fact that I think I'm

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<v Speaker 1>actually a pretty decent mom. I've never held a baby

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<v Speaker 1>before I had my own. And but you learn on

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<v Speaker 1>the job and once you're you know, feeding them like

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<v Speaker 1>sixteen times a day, twenty four to seven, ye like,

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<v Speaker 1>you get pretty you get the hang of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, we.

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<v Speaker 1>Slogs, which slot do you want.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So in twenty eighteen, I think I was diagnosed with

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<v Speaker 1>complex PTSD, and I had never heard of it before,

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<v Speaker 1>so I googled it and I found that it was

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<v Speaker 1>a pretty serious condition that is different than from classic

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<v Speaker 1>PTSD in that it occurs when the trauma happens over

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<v Speaker 1>and over and over again many times over the course

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<v Speaker 1>of years, and mine comes from extreme child abuse neglect.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was pretty floored with the diagnosis, and it

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<v Speaker 1>explained a lot of the troubling patterns that had occurred

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<v Speaker 1>throughout my life, and so I decided that I really

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<v Speaker 1>really wanted to heal from this. And I also learned

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<v Speaker 1>that there were no real firsthand accounts, no like memoirs

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<v Speaker 1>about living and trying to heal from complex PTSD, and

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<v Speaker 1>so I told myself that if I was able to

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<v Speaker 1>feel better and to heal, then I would try and

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<v Speaker 1>write that account. I also was turning thirty, and I

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<v Speaker 1>had realized that I had been sad for a very

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<v Speaker 1>very long time, and so I asked my therapist, like,

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<v Speaker 1>am I bipolar? What do you think is wrong with me?

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<v Speaker 1>And indeed that's when she told me that I have

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<v Speaker 1>complex PTSD. The diagnosis of complex PTSD helped me help

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<v Speaker 1>me to understand that my diagnosis helped explain a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of my mental health struggles, my struggles and relationships. It

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<v Speaker 1>helped me understand that my job, my workaholism, my relationships

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<v Speaker 1>with friends, with lovers were all influenced far more than

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<v Speaker 1>I had thought by my abusive childhood. I had thought like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I grew up and I'm successful now and I have

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<v Speaker 1>you know, an ira, and it's all good. I'm healed.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was not. It was affecting me every day

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<v Speaker 1>far more than I had thought. I definitely feel envious

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<v Speaker 1>when I see friends who have maternal support. I think

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<v Speaker 1>the times that are hardest for me is when I

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<v Speaker 1>really don't know what to do, Like with sleep chaining.

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<v Speaker 1>He's always kind of been a bad sleeper, and so

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes there are times when I'm just like, do I

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<v Speaker 1>go in? Do I not go in? Do I pick

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<v Speaker 1>him up? Do I not pick him up? And I

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<v Speaker 1>get paralyzed. I'm just so overwhelmed and the sound of

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<v Speaker 1>him crying is so painful, and I get overstimulated, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just I don't know what to do, and I

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<v Speaker 1>just really wish somebody was here who was a mom

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<v Speaker 1>who would just tell me what to do like an

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<v Speaker 1>experienced mom, my mom. But so those are the moments

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<v Speaker 1>where it feels most, I feel the most longing. And

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<v Speaker 1>then sometimes hearing from friends who you know, we have

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<v Speaker 1>some friends who her mom is coming for three months

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<v Speaker 1>and going to live down the street in a sublet,

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<v Speaker 1>and so they're letting go over their nanny so that

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<v Speaker 1>the mom can just help out for three months. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's kind of a bummer for sure, But then again,

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<v Speaker 1>you hear some other stories too, about parents who are

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<v Speaker 1>more of a hindrance than a help and who make

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<v Speaker 1>incessant comments about your weight or that's not the way

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<v Speaker 1>I would do it, or why isn't the baby wearing

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<v Speaker 1>a hat or that kind of thing, And we don't have.

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<v Speaker 2>Any of that.

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<v Speaker 1>So and we do have familial support in terms of

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<v Speaker 1>Joey's siblings.

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<v Speaker 2>He is now.

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<v Speaker 1>Snort, he's sleeping on me. He would not go onto

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<v Speaker 1>his mattress. So we're continuing the interview with him in

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<v Speaker 1>my lap. You know, I think I was alright with it,

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<v Speaker 1>and then it got annoying, and then it now is

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<v Speaker 1>just it's just a normal part of Honestly, I kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like it because it's like comforting to me because

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<v Speaker 1>I know he's going to go to sleep, so it's fine.

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<v Speaker 1>What was really surprising for one is that, like I've

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<v Speaker 1>even seen Joey or other family members get like irritated

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<v Speaker 1>at him and sort of like mad at him when

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<v Speaker 1>he's you know, refusing to go down or stop screaming

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever. But I've like never gotten mad at him before,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's been very surprising to me. I thought it

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<v Speaker 1>would be very hard to practice a lot of this

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<v Speaker 1>gentle parenting stuff that I like was watching on Instagram

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<v Speaker 1>for months in preparation. I was like all of the

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<v Speaker 1>ways that you have to talk to them in terms

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<v Speaker 1>of like affirming their feelings and if they're crying because

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<v Speaker 1>they're being changed, you don't say, like, stop crying, it's fine.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to say, like, oh, I know it's cold

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<v Speaker 1>and it's uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I'm affirming your experience, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought that would be like a constant thing on

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<v Speaker 1>my mind that I would have to force myself to

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<v Speaker 1>do all the time. But it really just came naturally.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't really even need to think about it. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know why. Maybe it's biological I mean, I have

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of I have a lot of friends who

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<v Speaker 1>do not have great relationships with their parents, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I thought that was the default. And then I have

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<v Speaker 1>some friends friends who had great relationships with their parents,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's like, what, wait, that's possible. It's so messed

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<v Speaker 1>up to think that, to have this weird default assumption

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<v Speaker 1>in my head that families just hate each other, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm having to untrain myself of that. Obviously, I definitely

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<v Speaker 1>feel anxiety. I mean, I definitely feel like, oh, this

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<v Speaker 1>is great now, But that's because he's a baby, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, wait till he's twelve and he's like, I

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<v Speaker 1>hate you, mom, You're the worst, or I mean he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't even need to be twelve. Three year olds do

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<v Speaker 1>that all the time. But I have more faith in

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<v Speaker 1>myself to be able to handle that than I did.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of parenting is just having to be very,

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<v Speaker 1>very present all the time. So that's what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm also accepting that A couple of the best pieces

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<v Speaker 1>of advice people told me is that a everything changes.

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<v Speaker 1>So when there's a phase that you hate or whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>write it out because they change in like a week

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<v Speaker 1>or a month or whatever. It is, and another is

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<v Speaker 1>that I mean I remember hanging out with my friends

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<v Speaker 1>like five year old or something like that when I

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<v Speaker 1>was like twenty seven and just being like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how I could ever do this. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how I could parents get like this. And she was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't start with a five year old. You get

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<v Speaker 1>a baby, and then you learn how to do a baby,

0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.359
<v Speaker 1>and it's like you get trained along the way basically

0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:51.560
<v Speaker 1>for every new stage. And I think that has that's true.

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:59.159
<v Speaker 1>My CPTST makes me kind of still hard on myself,

0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:06.359
<v Speaker 1>but it's complicated, like I'll feel like the worst mom

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.960
<v Speaker 1>for doing something or like letting him cry it out

0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:12.600
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. And then I'll go in in the morning

0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:15.480
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, have I traumatized you? And the first

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:16.919
<v Speaker 1>thing he does is he looks at me and he

0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:20.160
<v Speaker 1>just gives me this huge smile like a It's like, well,

0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:27.160
<v Speaker 1>you don't seem very traumatized. You know they need you,

0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:34.800
<v Speaker 1>And I think I know that the parental brain. I've

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.120
<v Speaker 1>been reading this book What Their Brain, and it talks

0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.960
<v Speaker 1>about how like after I have a kid, you become

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.680
<v Speaker 1>more hyper vigilant and the sound of babies cries you're

0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:48.959
<v Speaker 1>very hyper attentive to them, you know, like your brain

0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.960
<v Speaker 1>focuses its attention on your child to the detriment of

0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:57.080
<v Speaker 1>literally everything else in your life kind of. And I've

0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:03.320
<v Speaker 1>definitely felt that focusing and that absolute like inability to

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.320
<v Speaker 1>do anything else when the baby is crying or think

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:11.240
<v Speaker 1>about anything else. It's like a full body sensation. The

0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:13.720
<v Speaker 1>bad side of CPTSD is that I think it can

0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:16.640
<v Speaker 1>aggravate that hypervigilance and make you be like, oh my god,

0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.439
<v Speaker 1>my baby. Like in the beginning, I was always like,

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.200
<v Speaker 1>he's not sleeping, he's not sleeping. He needs to sleep

0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 1>like they say they need to sleep eighteen hours of

0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:27.680
<v Speaker 1>the day. He's only slept like eleven hours today. Oh

0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.000
<v Speaker 1>my god, is he gonna die? He's gonna die? And

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:31.840
<v Speaker 1>then Joey it, I told be like, I don't think

0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:35.640
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna die from I think he just didn't sleep

0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.760
<v Speaker 1>well today. And I'd be like, but but but I

0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:41.400
<v Speaker 1>think he's gonna die. So like, that's the bad side

0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:45.280
<v Speaker 1>of CPTSD. They say that in parenting a child, that

0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.240
<v Speaker 1>gentle parenting, that being able to say like it's okay

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:50.920
<v Speaker 1>to have your big feelings. That makes it easier to

0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:54.320
<v Speaker 1>apply that to yourself and for me to say it's okay, Stephanie,

0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:56.639
<v Speaker 1>for you to have your big feelings right now. And

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 1>I think sometimes I'm able to do that. I think

0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:03.800
<v Speaker 1>generally I'm pretty bad at it still, but I hope

0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.639
<v Speaker 1>that in time that I will get better at that,

0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:08.879
<v Speaker 1>because I do I also I really do want a

0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:11.960
<v Speaker 1>model not talking about myself in front of all the time.

0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:18.879
<v Speaker 1>You know, I miss my selfish self that like my

0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 1>selfish self was able to in some ways build the

0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:25.399
<v Speaker 1>life that we have now because I was able to

0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.280
<v Speaker 1>work on myself and I was able to go to

0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:36.000
<v Speaker 1>therapy and have a great career and you know, learn

0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.719
<v Speaker 1>all these skills like cooking or French or whatever it

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:46.320
<v Speaker 1>is that are useful in my life now. But when

0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:51.040
<v Speaker 1>you're caregiving, you that part of you sort of you

0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:56.359
<v Speaker 1>have to kill it and you have to at the

0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:59.680
<v Speaker 1>end of the day look at like the blank word

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:04.240
<v Speaker 1>docum and just say it, this is fine. Because making

0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:12.280
<v Speaker 1>sure somebody that you love has a comfortable last year

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 1>of her life, or making sure this baby that you

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:26.560
<v Speaker 1>love feel safe, and it's really hard to balance that

0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:32.640
<v Speaker 1>and taking a shower, and like Joey will sometimes be

0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:34.879
<v Speaker 1>like oh, you smell like sour milk. And I'm like,

0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:43.200
<v Speaker 1>oh God, well, yeah, of course, time to wake up,

0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:46.119
<v Speaker 1>time to wake up. Hello.

0:21:56.640 --> 0:21:58.960
<v Speaker 2>I have thought about how I'm going to talk to

0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 2>him about my relationship in my family.

0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:04.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think, you know, for a long time,

0:22:04.840 --> 0:22:07.720
<v Speaker 1>it's going to be pretty simple. Just like you know,

0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:14.600
<v Speaker 1>Mommy's parents were not so nice to her, and that's

0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:17.200
<v Speaker 1>why we don't see them.

0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:18.840
<v Speaker 2>But you are lucky.

0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Your parents love you very very very very very much.

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:28.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh and so you don't have to worry about that.

0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:32.679
<v Speaker 1>But in time, I think, yeah, he's going to know

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:34.600
<v Speaker 1>the full story. He's going to read my book eventually.

0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:45.960
<v Speaker 1>Probably you don't want to read what reading is hard

0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:50.280
<v Speaker 1>and lame and you're tired.

0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, those little eyes.

0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't think anyone has to have kids.

0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:01.920
<v Speaker 1>Like if I different life, I wouldn't have had kids,

0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:04.879
<v Speaker 1>and that would have been fine, you know. But I

0:23:04.920 --> 0:23:08.040
<v Speaker 1>think if you're not having kids because you're terrified of

0:23:08.080 --> 0:23:12.760
<v Speaker 1>being the parent that you were raised by, you are

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:17.639
<v Speaker 1>not them, and you can be anyone. You can be

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:20.119
<v Speaker 1>the parent that you want to be because you know

0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 1>exactly what not to do. There's been some feelings of

0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.080
<v Speaker 1>bewilderment and sadness about my parents just not.

0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:39.280
<v Speaker 2>Understanding. You know.

0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:42.480
<v Speaker 1>My mom used to say that, like, it's okay to

0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:45.600
<v Speaker 1>spank your kid when they're in diapers because it softens

0:23:45.600 --> 0:23:47.879
<v Speaker 1>the blow and it doesn't really hurt them. I was

0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:51.159
<v Speaker 1>like potty trained by the time I was like, you're

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:53.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna have so she's like she's banking you, and she's

0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I was his age. It just doesn't I'm like, oh

0:23:55.560 --> 0:24:02.280
<v Speaker 1>my god. But I also have some appreciation for how

0:24:02.359 --> 0:24:08.320
<v Speaker 1>much work goes into parenting. I don't know, it's and

0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:13.560
<v Speaker 1>I definitely feel sad a sadness that they're so profoundly

0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:25.000
<v Speaker 1>uninterested in their grandchild. But that's not surprising at all.

0:24:27.119 --> 0:24:30.159
<v Speaker 1>I've been able to be proud of myself for certain things,

0:24:30.480 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 1>and that's nice. It's really validating to be able to

0:24:35.760 --> 0:24:38.400
<v Speaker 1>look at this giant, cute baby and be like, he's

0:24:38.480 --> 0:24:43.360
<v Speaker 1>me entirely out of my milk. Like what, that's such

0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:43.800
<v Speaker 1>a trip.

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm about to voice bed. It's eight forty five,

0:24:57.040 --> 0:25:01.760
<v Speaker 2>and the reason why I've forgotten to record this every

0:25:02.520 --> 0:25:05.800
<v Speaker 2>single night up until that hour was usually right before

0:25:05.840 --> 0:25:09.399
<v Speaker 2>I go to bed. It's because, like I tiptoe in

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:13.640
<v Speaker 2>and the baby's crying and I lie there and associate while.

0:25:13.440 --> 0:25:14.720
<v Speaker 1>Listening to him.

0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:20.320
<v Speaker 2>But he's not crying tonight, and that's great because he's

0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:24.800
<v Speaker 2>mad chill baby. And I don't know how he got

0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:28.720
<v Speaker 2>so lucky to have such a chill baby with two

0:25:28.800 --> 0:25:32.440
<v Speaker 2>very anxious people, but we did. And yeah, I kept

0:25:32.520 --> 0:25:34.760
<v Speaker 2>him home for an extra couple hours this morning to

0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:37.960
<v Speaker 2>give him a bath and cuddle a little bit more,

0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:41.640
<v Speaker 2>and he was happy the whole time because he's our

0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:48.920
<v Speaker 2>chill ast baby. I need a giant boop. Wow. Anyways,

0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:55.359
<v Speaker 2>I'm tired. Good night

0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:01.720
<v Speaker 1>Never I need to real