1 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two with your celebrity 2 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: mentor Kelly ben Simone. Just like you, guys, I'm out 3 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: there dating in my I Do Part two era. And 4 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: if you're single and dating like me, you know that 5 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,639 Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard to meet great eligible men when you 6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: have a busy schedule, and dating apps can be super disappointing. 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: So I wanted to explore our conversation around professional matchmakers. 8 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: The company has been around for over thirty five years 9 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: and they've been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 10 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: Entertainment Tonight, and more. They are the real deal. Please 11 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: welcome Jennifer Will's President, chief Growth Officer with Kella Hurr International. Jennifer, 12 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: I'm super excited to talk to you. Kella hur International 13 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: came highly recommended by someone associated with this podcast who 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: had really successful dates. So tell our audience a little 15 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: bit about Kelliher International. How long have you been in 16 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: business and how did you get involved? 17 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 2: Okay, well, thanks for the nice lead in. So kelliher 18 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 2: has been around for almost forty years. We're one of 19 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:25,279 Speaker 2: the oldest and largest players in the field. We specialize 20 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 2: in elite or executive matchmaking services, so people who are successful, 21 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 2: but who are ready to be intentional about how they're 22 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,919 Speaker 2: approaching finding this next relationship, whether it's the first, the second, 23 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 2: the third, whatever it might be. But they've decided to 24 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,960 Speaker 2: prioritize this and focus on it the way they would 25 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: any other important aspect of their life. I've been with 26 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: the firm since twenty sixteen. I kind of actually fell 27 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: into it a little bit. I'm an attorney and have 28 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 2: a finance background, and I had decided to leave my 29 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 2: previous position as in house counsel for a company in 30 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 2: New York and a friend of mine was working here 31 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 2: and invited me in to meet with the founders, which 32 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 2: I did for an entire day, and then they were 33 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 2: stuck with me. After that, I just fell in love 34 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 2: with the business. I fell in love with them. There 35 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 2: are really very few things that you can do in 36 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 2: this world where you're truly transforming people's lives and having 37 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 2: such a meaningful impact on not only their romantic life, 38 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 2: but their overall relationships and happiness in the world. 39 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: So we're going to get into that because you guys 40 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: are twofold. But I wanted to address one thing. It's 41 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: the embarrassment and the shame some that we're seeing of matchmakers, 42 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: and if a matchmaker is I think the matchmaker does 43 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: more vetting and it makes you feel better that there 44 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: is a third party kind of you know, being a 45 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: part of this, especially with someone like you or you're 46 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: not only the third party matchmaking, but also you're counseling 47 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: your clients, which is great. But tell me about some 48 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: of the perks of using a professional matchmaker. 49 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 2: Well, there are a lot of perks to it. There's 50 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: the efficiency aspect. Most people that we work with, they 51 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 2: are very strong in their professional situation. They may have 52 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 2: great families already, but they don't have a lot of 53 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 2: time and it's really the one thing that nobody can recreate. 54 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: So providing a level of efficiency meaning that when we're 55 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: making these introductions, they're targeted. We've essentially gone on coffee 56 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 2: dates with the candidates, so to speak. We've met them, 57 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 2: we've interviewed them, we've background checked, They've had to go 58 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 2: through an extensive diligence period with us, so we know them. 59 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: So there's going to be a level of presumptive alignment 60 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 2: on fundamental values. That really is an open issue. If 61 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 2: you meet somebody just out in the world or online, 62 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: they're essentially represents to you whatever it is that they 63 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: think that you want to hear, whereas we are really 64 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 2: digging into who people are, asking a lot of open 65 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 2: ended questions and trying to understand. There's also the accountability piece. 66 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 2: When you meet somebody in another format, they can just disappear, right. 67 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 2: It's much more difficult to do that with a matchmaker 68 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 2: because we're following along and they're accountable to us and 69 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 2: we're taking feedback, so there's really nowhere to hide then, 70 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 2: and you kind of alluded to this, there's the advocacy piece, right. 71 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: We are a trusted advisor in exactly the same way 72 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 2: that a financial advisor or a legal advisor would be. 73 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 2: We're just handling a different aspect of somebody's life. It's 74 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 2: no less important. But we are the advocate, so we 75 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 2: sit between the client and a candidate, and there are 76 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,359 Speaker 2: times where we can facilitate something that maybe on the 77 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 2: surface somebody wouldn't say, now that makes sense, But if 78 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 2: we know both parties, we can help make things come 79 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 2: to together that might not happen without that, without that 80 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 2: level of advocacy in there. 81 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: I love advocacy. I really love that, And I also 82 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: love that you know the there are these ultra high 83 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: net worth individuals who are laser focused on their work, 84 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: you know whether and they've been doing this for years 85 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: and the thought of dating is super daunting. So when 86 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: you are, you know, with your company with Klhart, what 87 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 1: do you get for it? Like? What are you getting? 88 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,799 Speaker 1: How many dates? Like? What are we getting? 89 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: So one of the beautiful things about this is it's 90 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: highly customizable. We want to craft a membership that addresses 91 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 2: that particular client's need. So for us, we don't cap introductions. 92 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 2: There are a lot of other firms out there that 93 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 2: are you know, pay x and you get this set 94 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: number of introductions to us that creates an immediate conflict 95 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 2: of interests. People are saying, do I take this one? 96 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 2: Do I use this chip? Own know, we have to 97 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 2: produce this person. There's no cap on matches with us. Frankly, 98 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 2: every time we introduce somebody, it's either a home run 99 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: or it's a learning proposition for both the firm and 100 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 2: the team and the client. So it's another it's another 101 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: way of collecting data that's incredibly valuable as we continue 102 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 2: to refine the search. 103 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: That is amazing. I love how you're talking about this, 104 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: I mean like literally luring me in data advocacy, authenticity authority. 105 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, I am like literally right here with you. 106 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: So we're talking about the different parts of it, and 107 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: I really like the idea that you guys don't say 108 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: like if you have, like you know, ten dates, oh 109 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: my god, you're eight, Like what's your what's going to 110 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 1: be your plan? I really like that. That's brilliant. By 111 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 1: the way, So coaching. So we've talked about like the 112 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: dating part, but like, what about the coaching part? This, 113 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: this is the part that I'm super interested in. 114 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 2: Well, I'm sure anybody who's ever been in a relationship 115 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 2: will tell you that relationships are not linear, and very often, 116 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 2: particularly when we're not first timers, we've been married or 117 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: been in a significant relationship before, or been in multiple 118 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 2: significant relationships. We all have patterns, right, and we all 119 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 2: established narratives and beliefs in our head that may or 120 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: may not be accurate. And so the purpose of the 121 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 2: coaching is multifold. First of all, it's a way that 122 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 2: we sort of clear the slate from the beginning of 123 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 2: a relationship and say, Okay, what are your real goals here? 124 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: What's going to make you happy in this Do you 125 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 2: want to get married again? Do you not want to 126 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 2: get married again? What is the ultimate goal for this 127 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: relationship that you're seeking, And then what has been a 128 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 2: challenge for you in the past, and why do you 129 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 2: suppose it's been a challenge. And let's talk about the 130 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 2: people that you've selected for these relationships, why you were 131 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 2: focused on certain attributes and maybe how that played into 132 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 2: the challenges that you subsequently experienced in the relationship. And 133 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 2: then as you go through the process with us. Again, 134 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 2: there's nothing linear about this. So as you're establishing a 135 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 2: relationship with a new partner, they're going to be triggers. 136 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 2: There's something's going to come up that says, oh, that 137 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 2: reminds me of okay, but it's not him. So let's 138 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 2: talk about why that's happening. 139 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: So, speaking of triggers, should people be fully healed from 140 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: divorce or loss of a spouse before they associate with 141 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: the matchmaker or what are your thoughts on that? 142 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 2: So I think fully healed is a really interesting term 143 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: because I think all of us walk through life not 144 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 2: fully healed. Right, We're all still learning and growing as 145 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 2: we go. So while somebody needs to have you know, 146 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 2: sort of experienced the acute part of that somebody shouldn't 147 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 2: go you know, it's not a direct line, but that's 148 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 2: also part of the coaching. And there are definitely people 149 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 2: that we as we're meeting them and we see that 150 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,559 Speaker 2: maybe these emotions are too raw or they're not really 151 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 2: ready to attract or welcome this new partner, we may say, 152 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 2: let's do six months of just coaching before we start 153 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 2: the matching process, so we can really help people prepare 154 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: to get there. 155 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: So is there like a check in? Do you check 156 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: in like, you know, every couple of weeks after two dates? Like, 157 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: what's the kind of what's the check in process? 158 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 2: And is there one during the matching process? You mean yes, 159 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 2: so every client works directly with a team, and that 160 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 2: team is multiple people, but we do depending on the 161 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 2: scope of the search and the intricacies of the search, 162 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 2: there can be anything from a standing bi weekly call 163 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 2: to a standing weekly call, and many times they're over 164 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 2: zoom because even though it's not the same as in person, 165 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 2: it is better than a phone call. 166 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: You can kind of accountability. Again, you guys are like. 167 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 2: Really, oh, people have to be linear. 168 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: In relationships and definitely be accountable. 169 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, people have to be ready to be a partner 170 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 2: to us and to be and have agency in this process. 171 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 2: That's one of the most interesting things about matchmaking. It 172 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 2: is in no way a unilateral effort. We can't do 173 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 2: it without substantial input and participation from the client. 174 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: Wait, I love that you just said that you have 175 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: agency in this process. I love that. I mean we're 176 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: talking We're not talking about like swiping, We're talking about 177 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: real partnership. I mean, this is well. First of all, 178 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 1: you are unbelievably bright and very articulate, and I really 179 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: really love the way that you're talking about it. I mean, 180 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: you know, if I were working with you, I would 181 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: have a definite sense of ease and comfort because you 182 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: are definitely at the helm of this. And that's just 183 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: like very cool. So what about living in a big city, Like, 184 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: what about the people that live in small towns? I'm 185 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: from Rockford, Illinois, Like you know, I mean, is it 186 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 1: just folk? Is it in the country? Mouths too? 187 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 2: Like, Well, it depends on the person, right, So you 188 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 2: have it's really a question of addressable audience. And I 189 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 2: apologize sometimes I make I take all the romance out 190 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: of this and I don't intend to. 191 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: No, No, not at all. I just think it's really 192 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that, and I think for ultra high 193 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: net worth individuals they really appreciate that because that's how 194 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: they're They're constantly strategizing, they're constantly making made decisions, and 195 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: I think it's very smart to approach relationships in the 196 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 1: same way. It's the same mindset, it's just a different thing. 197 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: It's just a different thing. And along those lines, when 198 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 2: you talk about where are these people located, there's addressable 199 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: audience questions and metrics questions. Right if you're in a 200 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 2: small town and you have a fair specific type of 201 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 2: person that you're looking for, there's a small by definition, 202 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 2: it's just math. There is a smaller number of them 203 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 2: in a small town, there are likely going to be 204 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 2: more of them in a large city. And single people 205 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 2: do tend single. Successful people do tend to be in 206 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 2: larger cities. But that's also part of what we do 207 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 2: before we ever engage with a client is understand what 208 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,720 Speaker 2: level of travel or flexibility does their lifestyle allow. 209 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: For so, is this. 210 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 2: Somebody who lives in a small town and has no 211 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,079 Speaker 2: intention of leaving or traveling to meet their person. Well, 212 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 2: that presents a level of challenge and that we're very 213 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 2: candid and very upfront. If somebody is not somebody that 214 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 2: we feel we have visibility to success, we won't ask 215 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,319 Speaker 2: them to make the investment financial, emotional or otherwise. Right, 216 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 2: we want to not invested. Right. 217 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 1: So you know, it's interesting because I was I wanted 218 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: to ask you, you know, with that. So like work 219 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: from home, you know, we have a lot of different 220 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: people outside of just like the towns, which is obviously 221 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,319 Speaker 1: a challenging like you're saying, just because of the actual 222 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: bodies of people, but work from home, like a lot 223 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: of people are just like I've been working from home. 224 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: I'm on the phone from whatever it is, you know, 225 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: seven in the morning until nine o'clock at night. Like 226 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 1: I'm just too tired. Like how do you coerce people 227 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 1: to get to get out off the couch and you 228 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:42,079 Speaker 1: know into into the you know, into the bar or 229 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: into the coffee shop. How do you get them there? 230 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 2: Well, hopefully there's not a lot of coercion necessarily, but 231 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 2: it's that's again. 232 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: Sometimes people are like yeah, yeah, yeah, I want a date, 233 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: and then they're like no, no, no, I don't. 234 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 2: Well and that's there is a lot that goes into 235 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 2: us deciding to partner with somebody. Yeah, we actually decline 236 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 2: more people than we accept, which from a business standpoint 237 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 2: sounds incredibly bizarre to a lot of people. But this 238 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 2: is an industry where if you just sort of haphazardly 239 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 2: throw it against the wall and see what sticks, you're 240 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 2: not going to be around for forty years. You're not. 241 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,720 Speaker 1: So I want to know, do you, guys, does your 242 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: team consider the person that you think that is good 243 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 1: for me? Or do you just listen to what I say? 244 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: Like if I say, Jennifer, I want tall, dark and 245 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: handsome with a fat bank account, and you're like. 246 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 2: I've never heard that before. 247 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: I want to get him. 248 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 2: Find else wants that? 249 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: So like I know, So is it just? Is it 250 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: you guys are just like Okay, I'm feeling we're going 251 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: through this questionnaire, We're seeing what you guys are doing. 252 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: We've listened to what you've had to say. Or do 253 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: you guys say, like, you know what, like this other 254 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: guy he might be really great. He's not. He's not 255 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 1: dark and handsome, but he he's you know, blonde and viking. 256 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean? Like, is that do 257 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: you guys take those kind of leaps. 258 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 2: Or we do? Because this is again, this is a partnership, right, 259 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 2: and the basis of any good partnership is trust. Right. 260 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: So we're not, by any stretch of the imagination, going 261 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 2: to ignore our client's' preferences, but we are going to 262 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 2: really try to understand before we even engage with anybody. Okay, 263 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 2: what is it about that that makes you want that person? 264 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 2: What is it about tall? Now, you're tall, so that 265 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 2: makes sense, right, But when. 266 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: I don't like too tall? No, no, no, no, I don't 267 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: want to. 268 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 2: A five to two or five three, And she says 269 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 2: to me, he has to be six three, tell me why? Right, 270 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 2: you can walk around a six in shields all day 271 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 2: every day. If you can do it, bless you. But 272 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: you know why, what is that? Well, my father was 273 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 2: really tall. It just gives me a sense of safe. Okay, 274 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 2: all right, now I'm starting to get the picture of why. 275 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 2: So maybe this person doesn't have to be as tall, 276 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 2: but they're probably if they're five to ten, they shouldn't 277 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 2: be narrow shouldered and slight, they should probably be so yes, 278 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 2: so we do work through the whys behind what people 279 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 2: are asking for and again you're hiring a company to 280 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 2: be your advocate and to be your partner, the basis 281 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 2: of which is trust. And if we have gone through 282 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 2: the process and we've gotten to know somebody and based 283 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: on their personality, their sense of humor, their values, all 284 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 2: the things we say, you don't know what you don't 285 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 2: know right. A girl's got to eat, go to dinner. 286 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 2: What's right. And we've seen so much success through people 287 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 2: stepping outside of their comfort zone and being a little 288 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 2: playful and adventurous and having fun with it. 289 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 1: So just to give you, like a couple tips about me. 290 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: So I am fifty seven years old and I'm from Rockford, Illinois. 291 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: So I'm from a small town. I moved to New 292 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 1: York when I was fifteen to start modeling, and I 293 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: went to Trinity College in Hartford and Columbia. I started 294 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: working in publishing. I went on television. I had two 295 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:10,959 Speaker 1: beautiful I got married to an older gentleman. I have 296 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: two beautiful girls. I had to get divorced because I 297 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: just needed I told myself that I just needed a 298 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: better life for my children. You know, he just and 299 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 1: I always say that he just wasn't the right tool 300 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 1: for the right job. He's an amazing, super creative but 301 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 1: I was looking for I'm from Rockford, Illinois, Like you 302 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: don't get more Midwestern than that, and I was looking 303 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: for those real Midwestern values, you know, just like my 304 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 1: father and my twin brother. And it's interesting because a 305 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: lot of the guys that I meet are like, you 306 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,120 Speaker 1: go out of line, You're like a big party girl. 307 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I have a very busy professional life, but 308 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: I have raised two girls on my own, and you 309 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: can't raise girls on your own by being out at night. 310 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: It does does not work. The math is not math. 311 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that's really great for you. But I'm 312 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: usually in you know, home by you know, eight eight thirty, 313 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 1: you know, working doing whatever I am doing with them. 314 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,960 Speaker 1: And so it's fascinating to hear a lot of people 315 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: when they especially when guys meet me originally, they think 316 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 1: that I'm something that I'm not. So, you know, I 317 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 1: also have this one very very big trait where every 318 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 1: single guy literally and I'm not This is not like 319 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 1: an every single guy I date. Every single man that 320 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 1: I have ever dated has had wandering compass. Are cheaters 321 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: upon cheaters upon cheaters, and if they're not cheaters. They're 322 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 1: not making sure that I feel safe. So I want 323 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: the Brady Bunch for my kids, even though you know 324 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: they're older and you know later on they're going to 325 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: have children, and I want to have I want to 326 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,959 Speaker 1: have a family for them and for their kids. Like, 327 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: that's what I want. What are your thoughts, So go. 328 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:07,640 Speaker 2: Ahead, Jeneral, go So what are the other attributes that 329 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 2: are common in the people that you've been with? And 330 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 2: is there I hate to say it like this, but 331 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 2: there's sometimes that sort of stereotypes or stereotypes for a reason. 332 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 2: There's the Master of the Universe stereotype, where there's a 333 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 2: lot of power and a lot of prestige. And you know, 334 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 2: if if that is the type of person that solely 335 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 2: that you've been attracted to, you know, is there a 336 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,880 Speaker 2: correlation between who you've sought out and some of those 337 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,400 Speaker 2: behaviors that are obviously not ideal in a relationship, particularly 338 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 2: not one with you. 339 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess you know, the first you know, 340 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: the person that I you know, lean into would be like, 341 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: you know, I had a wonderful father figure who was 342 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: a provider and he was an you know, he was 343 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: amazing well educated and always was a thought provoker, and 344 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: I am attracted to those kind of men. But what 345 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: happens is that when those kind of men meet me, 346 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 1: I become the concierge. I become or they'll be like, oh, 347 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 1: let's go to that party, and then they're like, you know, 348 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: talking to people at the party, and I'm like, is 349 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: this are you guys? Are you? Are you doing business 350 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:21,359 Speaker 1: right now? Are you networking? If I'm not networking, please 351 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: don't network? 352 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:22,640 Speaker 2: Right? 353 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I basically attract users. Let's just call us 354 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: beatis Baye Jennifer? Come on? That's that you don't need 355 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: more data. 356 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 2: They're users well, and so this is not a plug. 357 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 2: But that's again one of the things that's helpful when 358 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 2: you're being represented by a matchmaking company is they don't 359 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,160 Speaker 2: necessarily know who you are when they decide that they 360 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: want to meet you. They it's not unusual for us 361 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: to use a pseudonym if somebody is well known, right, 362 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:57,120 Speaker 2: I mean, mister Bally try to like mister Big kind 363 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 2: of but not really. But we really try to get 364 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 2: a gen you wan beat on interest versus oh my god, 365 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 2: she's incredibly connected and she's had this really interesting life 366 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 2: and I see where this could take me? Right, and 367 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 2: you want somebody who their success super successful and have 368 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 2: a lot of their own things going on. You don't 369 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 2: need somebody to be doting on you at two o'clock 370 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 2: on Tuesday. You have enough going on. You want to 371 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 2: partnership somebody who respects who you are, but that's in 372 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 2: no way a driver for why they'd want to meet you. 373 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: And I also think that people seek kindness for weakness. 374 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 1: People are like, oh, she's, you know, friendly and fun 375 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: and has a lot of energy, so therefore she's weak. 376 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 2: How are you with boundaries? Do you have good boundaries? 377 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 2: Do you enforce your boundaries? 378 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: I have personal boundaries for my own self. I guess 379 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm I'm just you know, I'm just not watching out 380 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: for people. I'm not like, hey, what are you doing 381 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: right now? I'm not like checking in on what they're doing. 382 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: I'm not like it's nine o'clock, like why haven't you 383 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,679 Speaker 1: called me in the past five minutes? I just, you know, 384 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,879 Speaker 1: I'm just not like that. So doesn't mean that I 385 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: don't have boundaries. It just means I am not you know, 386 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 1: I already raised two girls. 387 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 2: You don't need to micromanage somebody else. 388 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: No, I want them to be like, hey, you'd agree, yeah, 389 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: how beauty, whatever it is, like, I don't want them 390 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: to be like you didn't check in on me, therefore 391 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: you don't like me, Oh my god. 392 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 2: And that's finding somebody whose values and lifestyle and approaches 393 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: to a relationship aligned with yours. And those are when 394 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 2: you meet somebody on an app or the friend of 395 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 2: the friend who says, well, you're single, and you're single, 396 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: so I'm going to put you guys together because very 397 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 2: often that's the extent of the research they've done is 398 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 2: they know both people are single. Again, That's that's where 399 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 2: having this trusted advisor sitting between you and somebody you're 400 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 2: going to meet to really get a feel for how 401 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 2: many relationships have you been? Tell us about your relationship history, 402 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,480 Speaker 2: what happened? Oh there was infidelity, Who's what caused that? 403 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 2: If it was her? Did you have any were you 404 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 2: not present? Were you not paying attention? 405 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: Right? 406 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 2: Are you doing something? So we actually dig into the past, 407 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 2: not not to shame anybody and not to bring up 408 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 2: bad memories, but to understand again the patterns, the things 409 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 2: that didn't work out, and who is this person and 410 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,679 Speaker 2: how do they view and value relationships. Were they the 411 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 2: one who left and this is now their fourth marriage? 412 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,879 Speaker 2: Did they leave every time? And why? So? 413 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,400 Speaker 1: I love that because you know, we are there. We're 414 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: hearing a lot of people talk about like trauma bonding, 415 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 1: and what you're doing is that you're not trauma bonding. 416 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 1: You're saying this person had has had this situation in 417 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: her past, and this person has had this situation in 418 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,440 Speaker 1: her past, and these are the lessons that we learned 419 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 1: from that, versus like I had. Like I'll, I mean, 420 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,640 Speaker 1: every single time someone's like ask me if I've ever 421 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: been cheated on me, I'm like, I, yes, I attract 422 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: cheaters and they're like, oh, yeah, me too, And I'm 423 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: like no, no, no, no, this is not that moment. 424 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: And I'm just like I just could totally turn off. 425 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 1: I'm just like I cannot. If you're asking me a 426 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: really you know, super sensitive question that I do not 427 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: want to talk about, then please do not try to 428 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 1: turn them on about how someone cheated on you. That's 429 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: just doesn't work for me. Yeah, it really really like 430 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,439 Speaker 1: sets me off. Yeah. I mean I think that you know, 431 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: bringing a professional matchmaker in, you know, in forty five 432 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: and widowed divorce. I think that people are real. This 433 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 1: is really really beneficial. Like, what are your thoughts on 434 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: on that? 435 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 2: Obviously I agree because I guess this is what I do. 436 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 2: But also, if you look at the trajectory. 437 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 1: I concur you're a lawyer. 438 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: I should. But if you look at the trajectory of apps, right, 439 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: they came out ten, fifteen years ago, whatever it was, 440 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 2: they've essentially commoditized people and commoditized relationships. Right, there's no 441 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 2: there's no incentive for these companies to get people into relationships. 442 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 2: They lose, they lose the the revenue. Frankly, if they 443 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 2: get you into a relationship, then you're no longer on 444 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 2: the app. 445 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 1: Well, it's also when people hear that ding it's you know, 446 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 1: it's a serotonin like every single it's like serotonin. Serotonin. 447 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: That's not serotonin for me, My phone dings on its own. 448 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: I don't need any more dinging. What makes me feel 449 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 1: good is that when someone's like, I hope you have 450 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,960 Speaker 1: the best day, or says something like I'm really proud 451 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 1: of you. You know you're going to be great, like 452 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 1: those kind of like words of affirmation. That's we're not 453 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: talking about love language, but just a kind of consistent 454 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,920 Speaker 1: The consistency of you're going to be great today is 455 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 1: just something that's really nice to hear, Like I don't 456 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 1: need like you're hot, You're not like, I just need 457 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: someone to be like you got this. Yeah, it just 458 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,520 Speaker 1: is like I need the calm, I don't need the serotonin, 459 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: like I already have the serotonin. 460 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 2: Well, that's it's highly gamified, right, everybody is. It's swiping 461 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 2: for the sake of swiping without any intention at all. Right, Right, 462 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 2: And it's funny, So you said what you just said. 463 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 2: So many women who are successful and independent, they want 464 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 2: somebody to come in and say you've got this, and 465 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 2: sometimes to say I've got this. Don't worry about making 466 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 2: the reservation, don't worry about figuring this out. I've got this. 467 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 1: Right. Oh, like I've ever been handled my oh my god, 468 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 1: I'm like literally, I'm like like a puppy, like I'm 469 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: ready ready for duty. 470 00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:00,080 Speaker 2: It's true. And dating as a successful man and dating 471 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 2: as a successful women, they both have their challenges, but 472 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 2: they're different. Right for women, Most women who are highly 473 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 2: successful have gotten that way because they've got it. I 474 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,479 Speaker 2: got this, don't worry, I've got it. I can do that, 475 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 2: I can do everything. I've got it all. And so 476 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 2: when they finally are with somebody that allows them to 477 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 2: embrace the part of them that doesn't have to have 478 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 2: it twenty four to seven, it's like, wow, that's amazing. 479 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 2: Somebody else to say, you know, we're all making the 480 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 2: dinner reservations, we're all you know, planning the trip, this, that, 481 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 2: and for someone else to go now, I want you 482 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 2: to sit back and enjoy your fine. Oh this is different, right, 483 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: like wait, wait a minute, right. And for men, they're 484 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 2: so they're used to people wanting something from them. Okay, 485 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 2: what does this person want? Right? They're being nice to me, 486 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 2: they want something, right. 487 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 1: So we're seeing some trends in dating. Can you highlight 488 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 1: some of those that you think should just disappear forever. 489 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 2: The first one that should disappear is the text based relationship. 490 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 2: It's and we're very very or we try to be 491 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,479 Speaker 2: very strict about there's still human nature and we can 492 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 2: wag our fingers all we want, and sometimes people just 493 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,680 Speaker 2: don't listen, but we really don't want people engaging in 494 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 2: text communication for an extended period of time. Our expectation 495 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 2: when we connect people is that they actually connect by phone, 496 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 2: not this way, but actually by phone within a day 497 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 2: or two, and they plan a date and if they're 498 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 2: not in the same location, meet by Zoom will help 499 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 2: facilitate who's traveling, where dates people are available. We want 500 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 2: people to get in front of each other. 501 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 1: So I like to text because I am a writer, 502 00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: so I'm always you know, I love to say I 503 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: love to text, and I also love you know. I 504 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: have two daughters who were being raised during that era, 505 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 1: and where I could, I didn't want to be on 506 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,120 Speaker 1: the phone, so I did to spend a lot of 507 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 1: time texting, right, And unfortunately I haven't dated that much. 508 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: So my texting. If you saw the way I text Jennifer, 509 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: you'd be like, are you in the fourth grade, Kelley? 510 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 1: What is going on? Like this guy is not. 511 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 2: Are you responding with K Yes? 512 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 1: I'll be like thanks, and they'll be like thanks to what. 513 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: I was like, oh sorry, And I do a lot 514 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 1: of emojis and. 515 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 2: Well, so here's the thing. When you don't photos. 516 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 1: And also I do I send photos because I'm like, oh, 517 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 1: look at that building and they're like why and I 518 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 1: was like, because I wanted you to see, like where 519 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: I am, what I'm doing during the day, just kind 520 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: of like back to like that you're one of your words, accountability. 521 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 1: I just want them to kind of see where I 522 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: am and instead of just being like, you know, thinking 523 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: of you, I could be anywhere. Do you know what 524 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 1: I mean? Like here I am. I mean not a 525 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: selfie obviously unless I'm looking great, but I. 526 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 3: Mean if you clients, But when you don't know somebody 527 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 3: really well, the risks of texting are that you people 528 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 3: don't understand everybody's sense of humor out of the gate, right, 529 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 3: So you could say something to somebody. 530 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 2: And the inflection in your voice is going to tell 531 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 2: them what you mean, but just on the fly text 532 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 2: is they might feel like what does that mean? 533 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? 534 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 2: Right? And that can that can actually sideline people as 535 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 2: they're developing the relationship. And you can't get to know 536 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 2: somebody in the same way through the written word or 537 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 2: even through a phone call. If you meet somebody, you're 538 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 2: taking them in with all of your senses. I mean, 539 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 2: I know I have and most women will tell you 540 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 2: they have met ment they smell great. Have you met 541 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 2: the guy who smells great? 542 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: I have met a hero who smells great, And. 543 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 2: You're like, what is that and you're just there's something 544 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 2: about them that you're drawn to because they're hitting all 545 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 2: of your senses right, or the handsome successful blah blah 546 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 2: blah doesn't smell good. That's a problem. Hard to get 547 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 2: around like that natural sort of doesn't like Okay, So 548 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 2: it's always good to just get in front of people. 549 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 2: So we really are encouraging people meet and you soap, 550 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 2: meet and you soap. Maybe a little dealer in here 551 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 2: and there. It's safe. They may be without a liminum 552 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 2: these days. 553 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 1: What what dating trend would you keep around? 554 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 2: Chivalry? 555 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 3: Oh? 556 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: I love. 557 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 2: We really do still believe in and that so irrespective 558 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 2: of whether the woman is our client or the man 559 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 2: is our client, we want the gentleman to plan the date. 560 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 2: We expect him to host the date. 561 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: Do you also tell your female clients, like, just because 562 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,440 Speaker 1: you're a CEO of X, Y and Z doesn't mean 563 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 1: you have to be a CEO of the date. 564 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:06,239 Speaker 2: A briefcase at the door. Yeah, and it's hard to 565 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 2: do it is I mean, you're you're a successful woman. 566 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 2: I'm sure it's easy to drift into that sort of 567 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 2: high powered business. I know I've done it in the past. 568 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 2: Everybody does it. 569 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 1: I like to just let people unfold, which is actually 570 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: a bad thing. My producers always like ask these questions. 571 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't ask the question because if I say, like, oh, 572 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 1: how is your how was your last relationship, then it's 573 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 1: like I have to listen to her. I'm like, no, no, 574 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 1: now I am not listening to about an ex. 575 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 2: No. 576 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: But I'm also not gonna have some guys say to me, like, 577 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 1: you know, what's your value add I'm like, so, now 578 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 1: I'm your value add Like what. 579 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, those are not appropriate date conversations. I mean, 580 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 2: you should not talk about your former relationships in the 581 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 2: first couple of days, talk about. 582 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,840 Speaker 1: Each other thousand percent. I'm always like, tell me about you, 583 00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: tell me about things you like. 584 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. That's the amazing thing about what we do is 585 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 2: you could probably say something to me and there's genuinely 586 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 2: no way that you could shock me. We have heard everything, 587 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 2: We've talked to all sorts of people. And if you're 588 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 2: going to be successful in this as a company and 589 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 2: as a professional, you just have to be curious, and 590 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 2: you have to lead every conversation without any sense of judgment, 591 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 2: and you just have to enjoy learning about people. 592 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,560 Speaker 1: So I'm genuinely I mean, you can tell after spending 593 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 1: a couple of minutes with me that I am a 594 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 1: very light person. What are the things that you think 595 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: that women need to lighten up about? 596 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 2: The checklist? Wow, there's a big checklist with a lot 597 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 2: of people. And men have it too, don't get me wrong, 598 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 2: but these really long checklists of every single attribute. They 599 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: have decided where this person should fall on the graph 600 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 2: of every single attribute. And what you lose in doing 601 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 2: that is playfulness, right, And life is supposed to be enjoyed. 602 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 2: It's plenty hard, plenty of the time. So try to 603 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 2: find pleasure and enjoyment and fund where you can. And 604 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 2: we always say you don't know what you don't know, 605 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 2: And I guarantee every woman and every man has met 606 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 2: somebody at a cocktail party, in the line at Starbucks 607 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 2: wherever it is that you're like, huh, that's kind of 608 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,760 Speaker 2: interesting and they're completely out of the box for you. 609 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 1: You don't know why, right? So what about men? Where 610 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 1: do they need to lighten up? 611 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 2: On age? I think there's a perception that as women 612 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 2: get older, they are less fun, they are less beautiful, 613 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 2: whatever the case may be. But what we see is 614 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 2: over and over again, people are youthful and beautiful and 615 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 2: engaging in all these things well beyond thirty, right, I 616 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 2: mean they are, and at the end of the day 617 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 2: we see this. I mean, I'm not telling anybody anything new. 618 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:15,320 Speaker 2: That sort of age disparity that men sometimes seek, particularly 619 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,799 Speaker 2: as they're just starting to date again, that's typically more 620 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 2: of a face and the reason is that that deeper connectivity. 621 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 2: I mean, just like cultural alignment, movies, music, things like 622 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,720 Speaker 2: that that you connect on and can joke around about, 623 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,759 Speaker 2: there's usually a gap there if there's too much of 624 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 2: an age gap, and they they may think, now, this 625 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 2: sounds like fun to date somebody who's twenty years younger 626 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 2: or thirty years younger or whatever it is. And then 627 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 2: ultimately they find that they can really and deeply connect 628 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,319 Speaker 2: with somebody who's more of a contemporary. 629 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: So, you know, it's interesting because if you had met 630 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: me ten years ago, I was still in the thick 631 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: of things still, you know, making sure my girls had 632 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: the best education, doing you know, being the financial provider 633 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 1: and also the nurture. So I was really really in 634 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,240 Speaker 1: the thick of it, and so I still look the same. 635 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,640 Speaker 1: I looked exactly the same, but my energy was completely different. 636 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I had a lightness to me, but not 637 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:17,399 Speaker 1: like I do now. 638 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 2: Now. 639 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,359 Speaker 1: I'm just like I feel like i'm sixteen again. I'm 640 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 1: so proud of my kids. I love my life, I 641 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: love where I am. I'm just a different human. I 642 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,799 Speaker 1: still look the same, And I've had a lot of 643 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: men say, oh my gosh, like, you're so young at heart. 644 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm like young at heart, Like, no, I'm just not 645 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 1: a grump. And by the way, why do I have 646 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,720 Speaker 1: to be a grump, Like what are you talking about? 647 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 2: Well? I also think there's a confidence. There's a confidence 648 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 2: that comes I'm fifty five, so there's a confidence that 649 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 2: comes being so you so thank you. I'll take that 650 00:36:55,719 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 2: from you. You're a professional. But there is there's a 651 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 2: confidence that comes with maturing, taking care of yourself. Yeah, 652 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,800 Speaker 2: and knowing that I'm still a beautiful woman. I'm smart, 653 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 2: I'm independent, I can do it all. The partner is 654 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 2: a nice to have. I don't need somebody. It's a 655 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 2: nice to have. It would be nice to share these things, 656 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,799 Speaker 2: but I don't need to look to somebody else to 657 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,920 Speaker 2: complete my life and to complete me. 658 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,160 Speaker 1: I love that A partner is nice to have. That 659 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: is perfectly well said Jennifer Wells. Thank you so much 660 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 1: for being here today and idpart two. You're amazing. 661 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,600 Speaker 2: It was so much fun. It was. 662 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 1: It's greater to meet you, wildly intelligent. I need my 663 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:45,959 Speaker 1: dating fun. I was like, oh, that's fun. 664 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,399 Speaker 2: It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun, 665 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 2: and I think that gets lost in the shuffle sometimes. 666 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: Appreciate you. Thank you so much for being. 667 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 2: As thank you for inviting me. It was nice to 668 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 2: be you. 669 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,319 Speaker 1: That was such a fascinating conversation on this pod. We 670 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 1: know the dating can feel daunte, but we want you 671 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: to know that you have some options. If you're navigating 672 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 1: dating for the first time. In your chapter two, I 673 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,600 Speaker 1: need some advice, call us or email us. All the 674 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,760 Speaker 1: info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. 675 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 1: Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do 676 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: Part two and iHeart Radio podcasts. Were falling in love 677 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: is the main objective