1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: Support for today's podcast comes from Cricket Wireless. Are you 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: looking for a way to in summer on a high note, 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: They've got just the thing. Get ready for unlimited smiles, 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: unlimited times. For Get four lines of unlimited data for 5 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: a hundred dollars a month. Please note that Cricket Core 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: is required on four lines. Data spe limited to three 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: megabits per second. Cricket makes slow data speeds when the 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: network is busy. Additional fees, usage and restrictions apply. Welcome 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation 10 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions 11 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. 12 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford, a licensed 13 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. UH. For more information or to 14 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: find a therapist in your area, visit our website at 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you 16 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is 17 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with 18 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much 19 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: for joining me for session one seventy of the Therapy 20 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: for Black Girls podcast. I thought it was time for 21 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: us to do another community check in, given that there 22 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,320 Speaker 1: continue to be so many threats to our mental health. 23 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: I want to start by letting you know that if 24 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: you are not feeling okay right now, it's totally understandable 25 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: why you would not be. I know we sometimes hear 26 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: glimpses about the ways our mental health is being impacted, 27 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: but I don't know that we're always aware or able 28 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: to recognize the significance of what's happening. Well. Many of 29 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: us are currently experiencing in terms of the pandemic racism, unemployment, 30 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: police brutality, etcetera. Is a prolonged stress response, and our 31 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: bodies are not designed to be able to withstand prolonged 32 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: exposure to stress. When we experience a stressful situation, our 33 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,519 Speaker 1: stress hormones start firing up to help us to take 34 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: care of ourselves in the event of an emergency. When 35 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: the stressful event has passed, our hormones should go back 36 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: to normal. But if that stressful event never passes, our 37 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: hormones and our internal emergency system stay on alert. In 38 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: such an thirty eight of the podcast, you heard Dr 39 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: Hodge talk about this stress response as the one you 40 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: might have if you were being chased by a bear. 41 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,920 Speaker 1: In this instance, of course, you want your system engaged 42 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: so that you can get away from the bear. But 43 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: if there is no bear, it's damaging and unsustainable for 44 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: our systems to stay engaged. In the same way, what 45 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: many of us have been experiencing for the past couple 46 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: of months mentally and physically is reacting as if the 47 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: bear has been there the whole time. This heightened state 48 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: can lead to a host of concerns like headaches, difficulties, concentrating, 49 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: stomach aches, increased heart rate, and heightened blood pressure, just 50 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: to name a few. In our current reality, not only 51 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: has the stressfully event not passed, we continue to get 52 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: hit with new stressors. So it's really important that we 53 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: be tapped into how our mental health is holding up 54 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: and be able to recognize when we might not be 55 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: doing so well. So I want to share a few 56 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: questions for you to consider so that you can be 57 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 1: more intentional about checking in with yourself. Number one, are 58 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: you feeling a little crispy around the edges? We know 59 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: that when stress is heightened, our ability to regulate our 60 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: emotions is diminished, which sometimes means that we're more irritable Additionally, 61 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: it's important to remember that depression doesn't always look like 62 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: someone's sullen and staying to themselves. Sometimes it looks like 63 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: the person who's snapping on others for no apparent reason. 64 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: So if you've noticed that your patience has gotten a 65 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: little thinner, you're yelling when you don't typically, or it's 66 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: a little harder for you to show grace to yourself 67 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: or to others, take a moment to stop and tap 68 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: into what might really be underneath the irritability. Number two, 69 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: are you managing your anxiety in ways that are actually helpful. 70 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: When we feel anxious and out of control, it's normal 71 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: andful to try to control the things we do have 72 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: control over, and many times this actually works. For example, 73 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: controlling what you can related to COVID nineteen in terms 74 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: of washing your hands, wearing a mask, and keeping a 75 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: distance are all things that are helpful and may actually 76 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: help to bring down your anxiety. But sometimes our attempts 77 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: to control don't always stop with the ways that are 78 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,119 Speaker 1: helpful in managing our anxiety. So pay attention to whether 79 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: you've been doing things like getting into power struggles with 80 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: your partner or your friends, are micromanaging your employees. These 81 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:42,720 Speaker 1: things may seem relatively innocuous, but they could actually be 82 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: unhelpful attempts at managing your anxiety. Question number three, are 83 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: you really allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings? Now? 84 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: This is a tricky one because there are plenty of 85 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: environmental cues that would lead us to believe that things 86 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: are okay and somewhat returning to normal. But this rush 87 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: towards normalcy is unfair, it's unkind, and it's damaging. We're 88 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: being expected to show up again in our offices, send 89 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: our kids back to school, hopple on zoom call after 90 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: zoom call, as if everything is okay, and it's not okay. 91 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: And so, even though the world may be signaling to us, hey, 92 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: it's okay, you're fine, I want you to take a 93 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: step back and focus in on how you're really feeling 94 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: when everything is quiet. You may notice that you're purposely 95 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: not staying engaged with reality because it often feels like 96 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: too much to bear, and I get it. Or you 97 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,799 Speaker 1: may notice that you're spending lots of time throwing yourself 98 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: into tasks because the weight of the situation feels like 99 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:58,239 Speaker 1: too much, and again I get it. It is too much, 100 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: and how we choose to or need to cope in 101 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 1: situations where our resources are depleted or valid. But I 102 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: do want you to pay attention to it and be 103 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: mindful that's what you're doing. Question number four, are you 104 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: meeting the basics in terms of taking care of yourself? 105 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: You've probably seen those memes that say we're nothing more 106 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: than complex house plants, and largely they're correct. We need sunlight, water, 107 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: and nutrients to survive. So how are you getting your 108 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: needs met? Are you able to get some sunlight or 109 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: be present with nature in a way that reminds you 110 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: of that connection. Are you making sure to feed and 111 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: bathe yourself? If this is difficult for you, try something 112 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: like drinking smoothies, are freezing a big pot of suit 113 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: for those days when cooking or eating feels like too much, 114 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: Or try picking your favorite song to accompany you in 115 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: the shower and sing it at the top of your lungs. Again, 116 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: when our bodies are stressed, sometimes it's hard to remember 117 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: these basic things, but they can often help you to 118 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: feel just a little better. So consider this a gentle 119 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: and loving reminder. And question five, are you aware that 120 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: what you're experiencing may actually be trauma. In session one 121 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: thirteen of the podcast, Shaqisha Spencer talked at length about 122 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: how experiences can be traumatic even when we might not 123 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: think they are. So I think it's important to pay 124 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: attention to the fact that for many of us, the 125 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: experiences of the last few months have been a new 126 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: trauma or have reopened older traumas a part of what 127 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: often helps us to resolve trauma is that after a point, 128 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 1: there's a period in which you're able to re engage 129 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: with the world to assess for safety. But we haven't 130 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: really been able to do that it the world largely 131 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: still feels like a very unsafe place, and so the 132 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: trauma is still very alive and fresh. So it's important 133 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,479 Speaker 1: to take care of ourselves and tend to ourselves accordingly. 134 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: That means being extra gentle, asking for help and actually 135 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: allowing our support system to show up for us, engaging 136 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 1: in activities that bring us pleasure, paying attention to our 137 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: sleep and physical activity, and finding outlets to actually process 138 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: how we're feeling. So once you're done listening to this, 139 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: maybe right after, maybe tonight, maybe this weekend, I want 140 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: you to take some time to really reflect on how 141 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: you're doing in the midst of everything that's happening, and 142 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: see if there's anything that I've shared that might help 143 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: you to shore up your mental health. If you're comfortable, 144 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: share your takeaways with me on social media using the 145 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: hashtag tv G in session, and don't forget to share 146 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: this episode with two sisters in your circle who could 147 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: use the check into. If you're looking for a therapist 148 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: in your area, be sure to check out our therapist 149 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. 150 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 1: And if you want to continue digging into this topic 151 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 1: and get some support from other sisters, come on over 152 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective, where we 153 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast 154 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: and just about everything else. You can join us at 155 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. 156 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 1: Don't forget that if you're looking for a way to 157 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 1: in summer on a high note, Cricket Wireless has got 158 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: just the thing. Get ready for unlimited smiles, unlimited times. 159 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: For get four lines of unlimited data for a hundred 160 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: dollars a month. Thank y'all so much for joining me 161 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: again this week. I look forward to continue in this 162 00:10:50,120 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care the 163 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: wood