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Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the

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Speaker 1: Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through

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Speaker 1: the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and

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Speaker 1: what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back

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Speaker 1: to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners,

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Speaker 1: old listeners. Wherever you are in the world, you guys

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Speaker 1: know the deal. It is so great to have you here.

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Speaker 1: Back for another episode as we of course break down

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Speaker 1: the psychology of our twenties. There is a very famous saying,

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Speaker 1: at least I think it's famous, that if it was easy,

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Speaker 1: everybody would be doing it. And when I was in university,

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Speaker 1: I used to have that printed out on like a

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Speaker 1: piece of paper. I think I even wrote it out,

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Speaker 1: and I had it blue tacked on my wall above

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Speaker 1: my desk, and when I was study for exams, when

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Speaker 1: I was working through assignments, it was kind of like

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Speaker 1: my go to phrase for motivation, to like embrace the

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Speaker 1: hard stuff, to appreciate that hard things bring about the

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Speaker 1: best rewards. That kind of gist. However, as I have

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Speaker 1: gotten older and I was thinking about that quote the

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Speaker 1: other day, and this is what has inspired that episode.

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Speaker 1: As I've gotten older, I've sort of revised my thinking

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Speaker 1: around this. You know, yes, definitely, some of the best

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Speaker 1: things in life do demand a lot of our effort, time, energy, attention.

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Speaker 1: But does that necessarily mean that they need to be

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Speaker 1: unenjoyable or difficult? Does it always have to be such

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Speaker 1: like a mental slug? I think those words and like

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Speaker 1: concepts tend to get or melted together when we talk

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Speaker 1: about doing hard things, we imagine that they have to

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Speaker 1: be almost painful. I also think, you know, with that quote,

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Speaker 1: there is also this underlying secondary sense that maybe you

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Speaker 1: and I we don't deserve success if we don't almost

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Speaker 1: suffer for it, if we don't strive for it, for it,

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Speaker 1: if it came to us easily today. I want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that. I want to talk about this idea

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Speaker 1: of how we can train our brain to do hard

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Speaker 1: things by offering you a different approach, a different formula

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Speaker 1: or understanding, one in which hard things become easier using

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Speaker 1: some of these principles of psychology that mean that we

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Speaker 1: find difficult tasks less mentally taxing, we find it less

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Speaker 1: difficult to start, we appreciate the rewards more, you know,

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Speaker 1: all motivation our desire to do anything big or small,

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Speaker 1: even the most mundane of tasks. It all starts in

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Speaker 1: the brain, and it all starts with how we perceive

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Speaker 1: how difficult the thing in front of us. Is how

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Speaker 1: we perceive the outcome and the rewards of our hard effort.

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Speaker 1: That is actually something that we can influence. We can

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Speaker 1: influence how our brain kind of perceives all of these

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Speaker 1: components and mean that the hard, difficult things that all

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Speaker 1: of us have to do in our twenties, like the

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Speaker 1: things that are just so frustrating and annoying that we

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Speaker 1: often put off become less of mature. I will also

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Speaker 1: say our brain does like a challenge, even when it's

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Speaker 1: a bit physically mentally painful. That's something that I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes we forget when we just keep taking the easy route,

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Speaker 1: which I'm definitely guilty of. The New York Marathon. As

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Speaker 1: I'm recording this was I think a couple of weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: I love the New York Marathon, and every time I

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Speaker 1: watch it, I think, why does anyone want to do that?

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Speaker 1: And the answer is that the feeling of doing hard

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Speaker 1: things that exert us is something that we actually value

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Speaker 1: as humans. That is something that actually we do need

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Speaker 1: more of in our lives. It all comes down to

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Speaker 1: this thing known as the effort paradox. The more effort

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Speaker 1: we put into something, the more we value it. That's

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Speaker 1: why you know you value the crappy mug that you

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Speaker 1: made at a pottery class over the perfect mug that

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Speaker 1: you got at ikea. The end of a hard project

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Speaker 1: is valued more than the outcome of an easy one,

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Speaker 1: and it actually does make our life feel more fulfilling,

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Speaker 1: We feel proud of ourselves and we just reap the rewards.

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Speaker 1: So today, let us break down exactly how we can

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Speaker 1: use the principles of behavioral psychology mainly but also neuroscience

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Speaker 1: to do the hard things, to start the hard routines,

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Speaker 1: especially in our twenties, when we can reap a lot

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Speaker 1: of lifelong rewards from getting into the habit, from biting

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Speaker 1: the bullets. So, without further ado, let's break down the

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Speaker 1: psychology of how you and I can train our brains

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Speaker 1: to do just that. The journey to completing or starting

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Speaker 1: anything hard all actually has the exact same start line,

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Speaker 1: and the start line is going from doing nothing to

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Speaker 1: doing something. And I think a lot of us know

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Speaker 1: that that transition that jump from doing nothing to something

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Speaker 1: is the hardest, and it stops a lot of us

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Speaker 1: from ever really beginning, even if we really really want

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Speaker 1: to see where something's going to take us. That is

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Speaker 1: why my first biggest tip for how we can train

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Speaker 1: our brain to do hard things is the five minute rule.

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Speaker 1: You know, after you begin, the first five minutes of

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Speaker 1: anything is going to be the hardest because you have

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Speaker 1: to dig deep and find the motivation to just begin

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Speaker 1: and to deal with that tension from going from doing

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Speaker 1: nothing to doing something. And a big part of why

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Speaker 1: that is so daunting is that it feels like when

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Speaker 1: we begin a new task, or we begin a new routine,

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Speaker 1: or we're like, Okay, I am committed to going to

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Speaker 1: the gym every single morning, or I'm committed to in

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Speaker 1: this moment right now, finishing my assignment and I need

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Speaker 1: to work on it in this moment right now. Absolutely

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Speaker 1: have to do it, even though I don't want to

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Speaker 1: do it. It often is like, Okay, by telling myself that

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Speaker 1: I need to do that, I now am committing to

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Speaker 1: a lot more than just a couple of minutes. I'm

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Speaker 1: committed to a whole process, a whole period of time

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Speaker 1: where I have to be focused on this task, and

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Speaker 1: it's that huge mountain and the idea of climbing that

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Speaker 1: mountain knowing it's going to take a while. That means

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Speaker 1: that we put things off because of the time burden. Instead,

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Speaker 1: we want to overcome our brain's natural tendency to want

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Speaker 1: to avoid discomfort that comes with the beginning of the

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Speaker 1: task by saying I will just do this for five minutes.

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Speaker 1: It's not actually a trick. You are only going to

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Speaker 1: do the thing for five minutes unless after you have

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Speaker 1: you know, lasted that period of time, you feel better

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Speaker 1: about the thing. You feel better about doing it. If

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Speaker 1: you're five minutes into your run and you're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I've done five minutes. I can stop. I am allowed

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Speaker 1: to stop because I've done better than doing nothing. But

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll just do another minute. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: do another minute. After that, you see that you have

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Speaker 1: overcome the first mental barrier. You've overcome that first point

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Speaker 1: of tension. This is just such a simple, accessible, cognitive

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Speaker 1: behavioral strategy, and the reason that it works so much

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Speaker 1: is also because it essentially tricks us into not being

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Speaker 1: able to procrastinate. Now, one of the foundations of procrastination.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people think assume that it's laziness. It's

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Speaker 1: actually not. It's perfectionism. If you are an overachiever, you

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Speaker 1: are a big thinker, you are a perfectionist. The beginning

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Speaker 1: of a task is always going to be the hardest

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Speaker 1: because it's in that moment that you realize how much

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Speaker 1: opportunity in space there is to fail, how much space

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Speaker 1: there is to do it wrong, how much space there

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Speaker 1: is to be criticized, to not live up to your expectations.

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Speaker 1: That is scary, and that is what's causing you to

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Speaker 1: procrastinate and causing you to put off this reality that

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Speaker 1: you're so fearful of. But the five minute rule undercuts

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Speaker 1: that because it looks at this perfection as part of

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Speaker 1: our brain and says, actually, like, you can clock off

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Speaker 1: for this because anything that I do in five minutes

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Speaker 1: is not going to be perfect so great, I know

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Speaker 1: that that's amazing. I can just actually ignore my perfectionism

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Speaker 1: for this moment and just give it a go. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to be perfect, it definitely doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be done. And by the time you have gotten that momentum,

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Speaker 1: suddenly your perfectionism is kind of like trying to play

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Speaker 1: catch up. It's like, hey, wait, you tricked me. I

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Speaker 1: thought that we were like not actually going to do

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Speaker 1: this today. I thought that we were going to like

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Speaker 1: give it a break, like I thought that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'd stopped you. It's like, actually, no, When you start

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Speaker 1: giving it a go, when you get on like the

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Speaker 1: fast train, you start seeing that it's easier, you start

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Speaker 1: seeing that actually you're doing better than you expected perhaps,

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Speaker 1: and you also start realizing that progress is just is

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Speaker 1: just important. You've already made a DNT and now you

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Speaker 1: have something to work with. So the five minute rule,

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Speaker 1: anything that you know is going to be hard, just

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Speaker 1: say you have to do it for five minutes. And

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Speaker 1: and like I said before, you do only have to

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Speaker 1: do it for five minutes. So if you're at the

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Speaker 1: end of that period of time and you're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to stop, that's fine. You're allowed to stop,

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Speaker 1: but at least you did it. My second tip, and

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Speaker 1: this one is possibly one of my favorite strategies. I

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Speaker 1: use this all the time. When I know I have

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Speaker 1: to do something that is daunting, that is challenging, that

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do, I picture the best person

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Speaker 1: I know at that thing. I picture them doing it.

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Speaker 1: I think about them, I think about how they hold themselves,

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Speaker 1: I think about how they would go about it. It's

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Speaker 1: a really powerful form of mental imagery, and when we

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Speaker 1: concoct these mental images in our brain, it serves as

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Speaker 1: a form of motivation. So, for example, anytime I need

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Speaker 1: to do public speaking, I always think about my mum,

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Speaker 1: because my mum is absolutely excellent at it. She's amazing,

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Speaker 1: and I think about like almost stepping into her shoes,

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Speaker 1: stepping into her outfit, believing that I am her. And

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Speaker 1: it's that admiration, but also the fact that she is

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Speaker 1: set an example that I can almost copy. That makes

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Speaker 1: me feel a lot more capable. It's almost like I actually,

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Speaker 1: don't you know, I don't have to do all of

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Speaker 1: this myself. Someone else that I know, who I respect,

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Speaker 1: who is great at this, has already done it for me.

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Speaker 1: All I need to do is emulate them. All I

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Speaker 1: need to do is copy them. I also, I will

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Speaker 1: say do this a gym all the time, like as

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Speaker 1: a way to stick to the hard parts of my

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Speaker 1: gym workouts and my gym routine. But instead of thinking

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Speaker 1: about the best person I know at the gym, which

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Speaker 1: to be honest, would probably also be my mum, which

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Speaker 1: is crazy because she's just a legend. But instead of

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Speaker 1: thinking about someone I really admire and copying them and

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Speaker 1: thinking about what they would do, I actually also visualize

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Speaker 1: this person in my mind called Jim Gemma or Elite Gemma.

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Speaker 1: And Elite Gemma is like this really focused version of

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Speaker 1: myself that I've created, and I think about what she

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Speaker 1: would do. I think about how confident she would be.

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Speaker 1: I think about what moves she would do, what her

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Speaker 1: routine would look like, how she would go about it.

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Speaker 1: Would she care about those other people looking at her? Know?

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Speaker 1: She wouldn't. And Elite Gemma is who I step into

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Speaker 1: in those moments where I'm like, I don't really want

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Speaker 1: to do this, but she would, and I have to

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Speaker 1: listen to what she would do here, so I need

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Speaker 1: to go. So there is a great study from twenty

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Speaker 1: nineteen on this exact topic, and it's titled mental imagery

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Speaker 1: as a motivational amplifier to promote activities, And I love

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Speaker 1: this amplifier. It doesn't give you all the motivation to

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Speaker 1: begin with, but it takes that tiny bit of sensation

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Speaker 1: in you that wants to do something and says you

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Speaker 1: are capable, you are able to do this. So this study,

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Speaker 1: it showed that when participants visualized themselves doing hard activities

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Speaker 1: or hard things and then being successful or finishing the task,

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Speaker 1: this was associated with higher activity completion compared to those

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Speaker 1: who were just given a task and told to go

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Speaker 1: about it. The other reason, and I guess the other

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Speaker 1: way in which I think mental imagery is really important

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Speaker 1: here is that it is a great source of bravery,

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Speaker 1: and it is a great way to fake it till

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Speaker 1: you make it. And I'm going to get another example

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Speaker 1: here of how I used a very similar visualization technique

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Speaker 1: when I was trying to get over my fear of flying.

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Speaker 1: I would imagine that I was someone famous, and I

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Speaker 1: would really picture being this like famous person who caught

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Speaker 1: all these planes all the time. This was like a

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Speaker 1: part of my fast, luxurious life. And just like rehearsing

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Speaker 1: that and thinking about that over and over again, creating

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Speaker 1: that mental loop and repetition, I am this person, I'm

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Speaker 1: emulating this person. It made me feel insanely powerful, insanely

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Speaker 1: insanely capable, and it was a complete game changer. So

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Speaker 1: that is a way that you can use your ability,

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Speaker 1: your very amazing special human ability to create mental images

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Speaker 1: in your mind. You can use that to trick yourself

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Speaker 1: into feeling more capable. You've got to remember your mind

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Speaker 1: is the source of all your beliefs about how able

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Speaker 1: you are, and how brave you are, and how courageous

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Speaker 1: you are. So if you feed it all of this

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Speaker 1: like artificial confidence that is based on how someone else

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Speaker 1: does things, or how a future or an amazing version

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Speaker 1: of yourself does things, it's going to eat that up

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Speaker 1: and it's not going to know the difference between that

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Speaker 1: and a negative or self doubting thought. So it's an

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Speaker 1: incredible technique. Let's move on from this and talk about mood,

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Speaker 1: talk about emotions. So, if you have got something on

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Speaker 1: your to do list, then you have been avoiding for

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Speaker 1: a while because it is hard, because it is boring,

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Speaker 1: because you just simply don't want to do it. You

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Speaker 1: have got to choose the right mood to start tackling that.

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Speaker 1: You've got to choose the right mood to implement your

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Speaker 1: five minutes. A twenty sixteen study found that when people

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Speaker 1: are upset, they are less likely to try and do

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Speaker 1: hard things. Very common sense, I understand. Sometimes we do

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Speaker 1: just need like a good old fashioned psychological study to

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Speaker 1: prove what we already know. And the explanation behind why

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Speaker 1: this is the case is also quite simple. When you're

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Speaker 1: in a bad mood, all of your mental resources are

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Speaker 1: at a lower point. They're all kind of plummeting, right,

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Speaker 1: So you're not going to feel as motivated. You're not

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Speaker 1: going to feel like you have any energy. You're also

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Speaker 1: your mind is going to look at this hard task

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Speaker 1: and it's going to make it feel a lot bigger

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Speaker 1: and a lot more difficult, a lot more challenging, as

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Speaker 1: a way to convince you to rest, convince you to

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Speaker 1: get yourself back to a positive mental state by not

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Speaker 1: putting any more pressure on yourself as it is during

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Speaker 1: those times. That is not the time when you want

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Speaker 1: to start doing the hard thing. That is not the

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Speaker 1: time when you want to start doing your chores. That

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Speaker 1: is not the time when you want to, you know,

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Speaker 1: suddenly handle your taxes after you've had like a really

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Speaker 1: long day at work, You've missed your train, you're having

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Speaker 1: a fight with your friend, there's not enough food in

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Speaker 1: the fridge. No, Because also another element of that is

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Speaker 1: that you will end up resenting the activity even more

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Speaker 1: when you have to do it when you're in a

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Speaker 1: bad mood, and if you're trying to train yourself into

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Speaker 1: a habit, but every time you go about doing the

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Speaker 1: habit or practicing the behavior that is associated with it,

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Speaker 1: every time you do that, if you are in a

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Speaker 1: terrible mood, guess what's going to become associated the terrible

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Speaker 1: mood and the behavior. And it's going to become almost

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Speaker 1: like this pattern or this link or this relationship in

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Speaker 1: your brain that when you think about the task, when

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Speaker 1: you think about the whatever it is thing that you

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Speaker 1: need to do, your brain's going to be like, huh,

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Speaker 1: every time we do that, we're in a bad mood,

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Speaker 1: and it doesn't see like the correlation or the causation points. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't see like the chicken or the egg problem,

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Speaker 1: which one came first. So it's really important and to

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Speaker 1: build positive associations when we are doing hard things. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to use the gym example again and just think

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Speaker 1: that it's like the easiest because it's like a behavior

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Speaker 1: where you go to the same place, and it's like

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Speaker 1: a something that a lot of us are probably going

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Speaker 1: to be focused on in the new years. If you

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Speaker 1: are in a really bad mood. I'm going to tell

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Speaker 1: you something that is probably counterintuitive. If you are in

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Speaker 1: a really bad mood and one of your longtime goals

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Speaker 1: is to go to the gym more often, actually don't

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Speaker 1: go to the gym during those times. Some people would

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Speaker 1: argue that the endorphins are going to make you feel better, YadA, YadA, YadA.

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Speaker 1: In some ways, I think that is the case. But

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Speaker 1: if you're going to go to the gym and just

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Speaker 1: do a really crappy workout and you're not going to

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Speaker 1: feel like you push yourself, you're not even going to

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Speaker 1: get to that place of an endorphin high. Actually, what

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Speaker 1: you're doing before you even get there is associating the

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Speaker 1: bad mood with the behavior. So when you are in

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Speaker 1: the best mood, you've had a great day, you're feeling motivated,

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Speaker 1: that's when you've got it. Almost like slide in the

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Speaker 1: hard tasks. It's like when parents like sneak vegetables into

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Speaker 1: like meatballs or into like cookies. That's what you're doing here.

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Speaker 1: Someone said to me when I first talk to them

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Speaker 1: about this, like that's such a waste of a good mood,

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Speaker 1: Like why would I do that? But actually completing a

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Speaker 1: hard task when you are already in a good mood

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Speaker 1: has been shown to elevate that mood even further, and

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Speaker 1: there is a continuation, So you feel really good in

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Speaker 1: the moment, but then you also continue to feel good

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Speaker 1: in the minutes, hours, even sometimes days afterwards, maybe in

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Speaker 1: part because of relief like oh gosh, finally I did it.

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Speaker 1: That's done, but also in part because of a sense

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Speaker 1: of pride. You know, how often do we actually challenge ourselves?

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Speaker 1: And seriously, when was the last time you put a

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Speaker 1: lot of effort into something and it took a lot

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Speaker 1: of commitment from you, and there were times when you

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Speaker 1: doubt it yourself, when you didn't really want to do it.

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Speaker 1: When was the last time you did that? Because as

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Speaker 1: an adult, I do think that that's not as common anymore.

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Speaker 1: It might be in like a workplace environment, but when

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Speaker 1: it comes to your personal life, we very often are

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Speaker 1: very We don't tend to often you know, just jumping

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Speaker 1: all over my words there. We don't often tend to

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Speaker 1: changing it up. Again, we don't often tend to actually

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Speaker 1: push ourselves. So I think that it's really important to

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Speaker 1: actually give yourself the opportunity to do that, to give

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Speaker 1: yourself the confidence booster to give yourself that further amplifier

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Speaker 1: to your mood. Already, we're going to take a short

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Speaker 1: little break because obviously I need to have a drink

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Speaker 1: of water since I am just tumbling all over my

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Speaker 1: words here. But when we return, we're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about how you can fall in love with the process

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Speaker 1: and the different kinds of extrinsic, intrinsic and integrated motivation

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Speaker 1: that you can use to do hard things. Stay with us,

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Speaker 1: we will be right back. There is a psychological theory

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Speaker 1: that when we don't just fall in love with the result,

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Speaker 1: but we fall in love with the process, we actually

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Speaker 1: perform better and we get further. And this theory is

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Speaker 1: none has learned industriousness. Here's the thing about doing everything

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Speaker 1: for like the big golden finish line, right, anything hard.

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Speaker 1: You are just thinking about what it's going to be

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Speaker 1: like when it's done, when it's over, when you have

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Speaker 1: the reward. It actually takes a while to get there.

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Speaker 1: And along that path, along that route, there's probably not

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Speaker 1: going to be a lot of, you know, encouragement to

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Speaker 1: spur you on. People might not believe in you. The

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Speaker 1: thing that you're doing might just be very mundane. No

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Speaker 1: one's going to be celebrating you shouting like Yay, you've

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Speaker 1: got this. Maybe there's not like any reward that you

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Speaker 1: can even provide yourself during that time. So if you

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Speaker 1: are doing it all for the final outcome, you are

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Speaker 1: going to unfortunately probably lose steam. So what this theory

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Speaker 1: says is that individuals who are reinforced for exerting high

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Speaker 1: effort on a task, they don't just fall in love

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Speaker 1: with the outcome. They actually, in some ways get hooked

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Speaker 1: or get addicted purely to the sensation of performing highly,

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Speaker 1: purely to the sensation of exerting themselves. So we flip

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Speaker 1: the whole narrative away from the physical, tangible outcome and

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Speaker 1: towards a love for like the everyday hard actions that

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Speaker 1: get us there. So how do we do that? Well

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Speaker 1: a few ways. Firstly is by really romanticizing the process,

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Speaker 1: really falling in love and getting quite sentimental about what

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Speaker 1: it feels like to perform a task day and day out,

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Speaker 1: what it feels like to be working towards your goals,

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Speaker 1: Like what a privilege that is, how romantic it is.

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Speaker 1: What's that story going to look like, what's that going

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Speaker 1: to feel like? I did this a lot when I

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Speaker 1: was writing my book and I was staying up late

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Speaker 1: and I felt very stressed. But instead of being like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, this just sucks and I'm just so tired,

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Speaker 1: I would like imagine that I was Ernest hemingway of

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Speaker 1: like a famous author working into the night in Paris

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Speaker 1: on my book with a glass of wine, and I

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Speaker 1: was like this tortured author poet type, and I created

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Speaker 1: this whole image that made me really feel like it

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Speaker 1: was like fun. It was fun too, not so much suffer,

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Speaker 1: but it was fun to strive, It was fun to

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Speaker 1: work hard. There was like this glamor associated with it.

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Speaker 1: There was this romanticism that made it special and fun

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Speaker 1: and like I have actually like very fond memories of

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Speaker 1: those times. You know, even when it was really really late,

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Speaker 1: it felt nice knowing that I could push myself. Another

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Speaker 1: way of doing this is by really noticing the signs

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Speaker 1: of progress and letting them serve as the reward to

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Speaker 1: kind of further fuel your fire. So the feeling of

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Speaker 1: sore muscles, the feeling of being really mentally tired at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, but like super fulfilled and

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Speaker 1: super satisfied, and like falling, falling asleep, and just feeling

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Speaker 1: really great about yourself. The feeling of seeing I don't know,

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Speaker 1: your art get better, seeing your writing get better, seeing

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Speaker 1: your grades get better. That is a way of bringing

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Speaker 1: about learned industriousness. It's why I really one of the

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Speaker 1: things I really recommend and that I love when people

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Speaker 1: do this is when they set up Instagram pages for

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Speaker 1: like their projects, like their marathons or an art project,

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Speaker 1: or their like when they're learning your language, or when

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Speaker 1: they're renovating their house, like setting up a progress page

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Speaker 1: or a project page, you can really see how things

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Speaker 1: get better and improve and get bigger and larger and

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Speaker 1: dreams come true. My god, I sound so cliche, but

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Speaker 1: you really can see that day in and day out,

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Speaker 1: it gets better every single day. Finally, the best way

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Speaker 1: to really promote learned industriousness, and the way that really

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Speaker 1: aligns best with the theory, is to just simply reinforce

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Speaker 1: your effort through physical reward. So what this really relies

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Speaker 1: on is something known as the hedonic principle. As humans

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Speaker 1: as creatures, as people with brains, we are wired towards

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Speaker 1: things that make us feel good, and we are wired

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Speaker 1: to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. Super simple principle, right,

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Speaker 1: But an easy way to make an uncomfortable thing feel

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Speaker 1: good is by maximizing the pleasure and the reward we

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Speaker 1: get from it. So the more candy, I don't know, like,

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Speaker 1: the more candy you offer to a child, the more

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Speaker 1: excited they're going to be to go to the dentist,

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Speaker 1: even if they hate the dentist. The more treats you

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Speaker 1: give a puppy, like, the more obedient they become. Allegedly

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Speaker 1: that's always backfired my puppies and dogs super fat, but

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You can also do this

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Speaker 1: for yourself by providing like physical rewards, artificial rewards that

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Speaker 1: you give yourself in lieu of the bigger reward. One

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Speaker 1: way we see people do this is by creating a

432
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: schedule for positive reinforcement. That's an incredible behavioral change strategy.

433
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: So people do this for savings goals a lot. I

434
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: see this a lot on like TikTok and Instagram, and

435
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: I love seeing these every like one two hundred dollars,

436
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: one thousand dollars. They save twenty dollars to fifty dollars.

437
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: Whatever it is goes into buying something that they really

438
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 1: really want, so that there is that reinforcement that's going

439
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: along with the hard work. We all kind of do

440
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: want a special little thing every now and again. We

441
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: want a break every now and again. We want a

442
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: sweet treat every now and again. Factor that into how

443
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: you are going about your goals, whatever it is, especially

444
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: if it's a goal that is really based on a

445
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: deficit of something, so having less saving money, having less

446
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: sweet treats, having less down time because you're working really

447
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: really hard. You can use that as a form of

448
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 1: motivation to make you want to work harder so that

449
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: you finally get the reward. We see like studies on

450
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: this with rats all the time. You know, the more

451
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: that they are reinforced in a structured way, so you know,

452
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: they finish a task, they get a treat, they finish

453
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: the next task that's a little bit harder, they get

454
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: a treat. The more that there is that structured reward,

455
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: they end up performing better. They're more efficient, they tier

456
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 1: less easily. And let's just say this that it's not

457
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: like a factor to do with energy, like the reward

458
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: is sometimes like they get to see their friend, or

459
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 1: the reward is like a pat like it's not always

460
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: food based, but they actually keep going for longer. The

461
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: reason this is the case in scientifically neurologically, the reason

462
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: this is the case all comes down to dopamine. I

463
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 1: think we all know. Like dopamine is the happy chemical,

464
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 1: dopamine is also the motivational chemical. It is the chemical

465
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: that gets you to do things. So if you want

466
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: to increase the dopamine that you are accessing when doing

467
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: hard things, you've got to provide some form of catalyst

468
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: for the release of that's some form of trigger, some

469
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: form of reward. It will make you happier, but it

470
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: will also make you more motivated. There you go, the

471
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 1: more you know. So when we do this, it's actually

472
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: what creates intrinsic motivation. This is the first form of

473
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: motivation we're going to be talking about. Intrinsic motivation is

474
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: when you do things just because you love them and

475
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 1: just because you find them enjoyable. So you don't have

476
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: to force yourself to do things you love, right, Like

477
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have to force you to go to the beach,

478
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: or I wouldn't have to force you to like have

479
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: a wine with your friends, or force you to read

480
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 1: your favorite book. Because you just like doing it. And

481
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: one way that we can make it so that we

482
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: enjoy doing something, which is the highest form of motivation

483
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: for actually doing it, is by associating positive experiences and

484
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: reward with performance, determination, commitment, with you know, doing the thing,

485
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: with being persistent. Now, I know what you're probably thinking,

486
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: how do I fall in love with doing something that

487
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: is just actually so frustrating and annoying and something that

488
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: I really don't want to do? Like how do I

489
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:36,199
Speaker 1: enjoy my job that involves firing people? How do I

490
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: fall in love with the process there? Or how do

491
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: I fall in love with my painful IVF treatment you

492
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: know that just sucks? Or like how do I become

493
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: intrinsically motivated to enjoy cleaning my toilet? That? There's just

494
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: some things where this isn't possible, Like, we can't use

495
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: this hedonic or pleasure principle. So the next best thing

496
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: that you can aim for is integrated motivation. So this

497
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: occurs when a behavior is performed to gain both an

498
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: external reward, but it also inligns aligns with your sense

499
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: of identity, your sense of your internal sense of value

500
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: and interests, and who you are as a person. We

501
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: can make our motivation to complete a task attached to

502
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 1: our identity, and it's super super powerful. You know, I

503
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: clean the toilet because I am someone who is conscientious,

504
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: and I'm someone who cares about cleanliness, and I care

505
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: about having a nice environment, and because I am someone

506
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: who cares about the details. Even though I don't enjoy this,

507
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it because it reinforces something that

508
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: I find important about my identity. I go through IVF

509
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: treatment even when it's painful, even when it's hard, because

510
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: I want to be a parent. That is something I

511
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: have always felt is a deep part of my life.

512
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: Purpose will endure the hard part of this journey because

513
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: the outcome is something that is significant for my identity.

514
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: The second best way that you can do hard things

515
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: is to get super clear on the why and make

516
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: a really really big picture, like give it a meaning

517
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: as big as life itself. Like I study because I

518
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: believe in creating a better life for myself and I

519
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: am someone who is a hard worker. So this behavior,

520
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: although it is hard, is something that reinforces what I

521
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: believe about myself. It reinforces myself concept, it reinforces my confidence.

522
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: This is who I am, so who would I be

523
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: if I didn't do this behavior? Who would I be

524
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 1: if I didn't do these hard things? This is just

525
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 1: so so powerful for taking something that is just you know,

526
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: a random thing on your to do list, or maybe

527
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: not taking something that you have you know, mixed feelings towards.

528
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, and it becomes this thing, this

529
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: gateway to being a more true, authentic version of yourself.

530
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 1: And of course you are going to want to do

531
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: that hard thing over the hard thing that is just bothersome,

532
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: over the hard thing that you have no meaning attached to. Finally,

533
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: you know, if that doesn't work, if the intrinsic motivation

534
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: doesn't work, and the like integrated motivation systems don't work,

535
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: you can always rely on extrinsic motivation, and that is

536
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: basically doing things publicly, doing things in a public setting

537
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: in front of others, promising others that you're going to

538
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: do it, as a way to make you feel like

539
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: you're accountable, make you feel like there are eyes on you.

540
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: This is all rooted in social psychology. When we think

541
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: that people are watching, we tend to behave better, We

542
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: tend to put on our best behavior. You can use

543
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: those same principles to force yourself to do hard things.

544
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: One of my friends does this in an excellent way.

545
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: She studies in very public places because it, you know,

546
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: makes her feel almost embarrassed to go on her phone,

547
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: like the acknowledgment that someone could be watching her and

548
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: someone might be like, oh god, she's going on her phone,

549
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: Like that's not good. I thought she was studying. Yes,

550
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: sometimes it might not be the best for certain goals

551
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: or certain behaviors, but in terms of things where you're like,

552
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: I just need to get this done, and I need

553
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: someone who you know, a stranger, doesn't even know me.

554
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: I just need their presence to make me feel obligated

555
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: to do this incredibly powerful. That was my final tip

556
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: for the day. We talked about intrinsic, integrated, and external

557
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: or extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic is the best actually finding a

558
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: way to enjoy or fall in love with the process. Secondly,

559
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: you can find a way to make the activity a

560
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: part or a reinforcer of an important part of your identity.

561
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: And then if all all that fails, you know, the

562
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: flood roll open. You can rely on the judgment of others.

563
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: Less and ideal, but sometimes important. I really hope that

564
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: this episode has given you some motivation. You know, we've

565
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: got one month left of this year. We've got so

566
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: much going on, we have a lot of goals that

567
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: we might want to achieve, and we also might be

568
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: like preparing for next year. So I think these strategies

569
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: are really really doable, and they're not about discipline. They're

570
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: not about like working yourself to the bone, not about

571
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: burnout and exhaustion. They are small things that you can

572
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: do mentally psychologically to be more productive and less busy

573
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: and to reach your goals faster by essentially like tricking

574
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: how our brain works and tricking our psychology. So if

575
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: you did enjoy this episode, please make sure that you

576
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: have left a five star review. If you leave a

577
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: review on Apple as well. I'm looking at all of

578
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: them at the moment. I'm like grabbing some out for

579
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: a little post at the end of the year. I

580
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: would really appreciate if you could leave some kind words there. Also,

581
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: make sure you have pre ordered the book. I know

582
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: I've been kind of not on the ball with reminding

583
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: you guys, but Yeah comes out next year, and there

584
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: will be a link in the podcast episode description. Even

585
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: if you just want to check out the cover, that's

586
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: totally fine. I just appreciate any support that you are

587
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 1: giving me this crazy, amazing time in my life. Make

588
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: sure you are following us on Instagram at that Psychology podcast.

589
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 1: And until next time, stay safe, stay kind, be gentle

590
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: to yourself, and we will talk very very soon,