Speaker 1: Call It what it Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello Capshaw, Well hello Luddington.
Speaker 3: I love seeing your face. I love being here with you.
Speaker 2: Me too, And we have an announcement to make. We
Speaker 2: recently just got back from Paris.
Speaker 3: Paris, we did it. Oops, we did.
Speaker 2: It again, Paris the sequel.
Speaker 1: I have a question, what was your favorite thing about
Speaker 1: traveling together there this time?
Speaker 2: Oh man, I gotta say so really, so many things.
Speaker 2: But we laugh so much together. And we argued this trip.
Speaker 2: We did argue a little bit. We argued. We threw
Speaker 2: a little heat on that fire. I mean, it wasn't
Speaker 2: a lot of heat. It was more just, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't want to want Let's call it what it is.
Speaker 2: You got a little grumpy at one point. I had
Speaker 2: a grumpy knighting you. I'm just saying it started with
Speaker 2: a little grumpy I did. And you know what I
Speaker 2: love about us is that we do call it what
Speaker 2: it is. And I was talking and you turned to
Speaker 2: me and you said, you're really grumpy right now. And
Speaker 2: earlier in the day you said, the story is really boring.
Speaker 1: I did, we're just telling the longest story. It actually
Speaker 1: was not the longest story in the taxi, and I
Speaker 1: was looking what it was. I was like, Naddy, I
Speaker 1: really was really not even in gay. I was like
Speaker 1: trying to do other things to signal to you that
Speaker 1: I was very bored by this story.
Speaker 2: Okay, explain what happened though. This was this is why
Speaker 2: I ended up grumpy at the end of the day.
Speaker 2: I was actually telling you a very juicy story about
Speaker 2: the inner workings and drama of another TV show which
Speaker 2: I will not mention, and their cast members. And I
Speaker 2: was telling it to you, and every five seconds you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, look at this Instagram captions and so funny.
Speaker 2: Oh look at this real And then I was trying
Speaker 2: to get to like the thing, because, by the way,
Speaker 2: people would love to hear what it was, and you
Speaker 2: just turned to me to go, this is a little
Speaker 2: bit boring.
Speaker 3: Scott liked to hear what it was.
Speaker 1: It was like, it felt like you were trying to
Speaker 1: tell me, like your dream, like you're like, I love you.
Speaker 1: A dream can be wonderful to explain, but ultimately, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, we all know the dream
Speaker 1: didn't happen.
Speaker 3: There's no consequence to the dream.
Speaker 1: Whatever happened in your dream, no matter how fantastical and
Speaker 1: wonderful it was for you to experience or terrifying, it
Speaker 1: just didn't happen.
Speaker 3: So that's what I felt about this story was just
Speaker 3: this to it it.
Speaker 2: Makes zero sense. This was a story. I was telling
Speaker 2: you about something that literally happened to some people and
Speaker 2: it was real juicy, and you were like, oh, look
Speaker 2: at this puppy. I was like, I don't give a
Speaker 2: shit about the poppy right now, I'm telling you this
Speaker 2: crazy stuff that went down. And then just anyway I was.
Speaker 3: It was crazy to you. That's what I'm trying to say,
Speaker 3: is that is the dream analogy. It was crazy to you.
Speaker 3: It was not so crazy to me. I didn't even
Speaker 3: know the people you were talking about.
Speaker 2: Honestly. You know what I love about this is the
Speaker 2: question was what did we love about traveling together?
Speaker 3: Well, we love that we can talk to each other.
Speaker 3: Like that's that's exactactly right, Because.
Speaker 1: I have a question, who do you think is the better?
Speaker 1: Who who do you think is the better or worse traveler?
Speaker 3: Well, in judge the two of us, Between the two
Speaker 3: of us, yeah.
Speaker 2: I think we're you know what. I think we're kind
Speaker 2: of similar actually in our travels. I just don't think
Speaker 2: we're similar in our prep.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, no, that's okay. But I mean
Speaker 3: I really.
Speaker 1: Appreciate that you sort of when I came into your
Speaker 1: room and was able to see the inner workings of
Speaker 1: your suitcases that were open, and the explosion.
Speaker 3: That you really bring your home with you on kas Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like there's fuzzy slippers, there's there's you know, the fuzzy
Speaker 1: little printed fuzzy headbands to keep your hair off your face. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it right.
Speaker 2: Into the suitcase. I'm like, what's that? It doesn't even
Speaker 2: have to make sense. I'm like, what is that a
Speaker 2: giant you know, a telescope it's going in that'll.
Speaker 3: Say your coffee baker came out.
Speaker 2: Why not pack it on because you never know what
Speaker 2: might happen mm.
Speaker 3: Hmm yeah, and you're going to be prepared for it all.
Speaker 2: I guarantee that you are a packer because I know myself.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you what I am. The packs maybe
Speaker 2: a week before in this case.
Speaker 1: It was only a couple of days. Only a couple
Speaker 1: of days. Wow, Yeah, let's just call it what it is.
Speaker 1: It's called preparation.
Speaker 3: Okay. We were invited by Lacoste to see the men's
Speaker 3: semi finals in Paris. Yeah, holand garo. I really, I'm
Speaker 3: just going to always use my French accent.
Speaker 2: That's fine. I'm used to it now. Well, hang on,
Speaker 2: you were invited and then you go to Plus one,
Speaker 2: So I felt like I didn't belong, but I was
Speaker 2: still there. Somehow I'd escaped in there and I was
Speaker 2: running wild and free.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, we were because we were going for the convention,
Speaker 1: and then we were booking our hotels and my memory
Speaker 1: was that the hotels were sort of booked up and
Speaker 1: I said, why, what's going on because the Olympics aren't
Speaker 1: until July. And someone said, oh, it's the French Open
Speaker 1: and I said, the French Open is happening.
Speaker 3: While we're there. And then I.
Speaker 1: Reached out and said, hey, can we go? And then
Speaker 1: we were so kindly picked up by lacasse They were
Speaker 1: so they were amazing. Oh my gosh, it was so cool.
Speaker 1: Just being in a different country and going to a
Speaker 1: different place and having that kind of experience is really
Speaker 1: so so cool. And I love tennis and I really
Speaker 1: loved watching Alcaraz. It was actually kind of exciting because
Speaker 1: you and I were rooting for different people too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we picked our opponents and we got a little
Speaker 2: competitive over it. I had a little bit of imposter
Speaker 2: syndrome though, because when we walked to me, I thought, well,
Speaker 2: first off, I'm lucky to be there, which, by the way,
Speaker 2: anyone is, because it's such a crazy experience. I'd never
Speaker 2: been to a tennis game before, and it's a Grand Slam, right,
Speaker 2: that's what they call. It is a grand side. It's
Speaker 2: not someone said I heard I heard the words grand
Speaker 2: Slam being news. Never mind.
Speaker 3: This is how I was, like, I love this Grand Slam.
Speaker 3: I've never been to a live match either.
Speaker 2: I'd never been, and I figured, of course, nosebleed seats.
Speaker 2: That's where Camille Luddington, you know, that's where I vibe.
Speaker 2: I'm used to a nosebleed. And we walked out and
Speaker 2: we we were literally on the court. Yeah, we felt
Speaker 2: like we were we handed tennis rackets and we were
Speaker 2: ready for doubles.
Speaker 3: Yes, we were.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was unreal.
Speaker 3: Did you stretch beforehand?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: Of course I did. Once I saw those seats, You're
Speaker 2: always ready for anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, full anything, Yeah, full public stretching. Yeah, I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: That was exciting. That was really exciting.
Speaker 2: No, it was. It was absolutely incredible. The other thing
Speaker 2: that really blew me away, which is a completely different thing,
Speaker 2: but when we were at the fan convention, people had
Speaker 2: call it, made their own call it what it is, March.
Speaker 1: That was so cool. That was so cool. She made
Speaker 1: little buttons and then a little tope bag. I yes,
Speaker 1: and then we wore the buttons the whole day. We
Speaker 1: had no shame in our promotion game of the podcast.
Speaker 1: I could not have been more touched that there were
Speaker 1: so many people who had listened to it and were
Speaker 1: so excited the next one was coming out.
Speaker 3: It was it really that really that made my day.
Speaker 2: I made my day too, you know what.
Speaker 3: I also really I loved.
Speaker 1: I loved getting off of work and just going out
Speaker 1: into the street and walking. You know, I love to
Speaker 1: walk and just walking and walking and walking, and then
Speaker 1: finding a restaurant and going have a little bite to eat,
Speaker 1: and then and then we were done. I looked at
Speaker 1: Kimila and said that walk was so enjoyable. Should we
Speaker 1: walk home? And what did you say, Kimila?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Oh, turns out my traveling partner doesn't like to walk.
Speaker 2: Jessica Capshow can walk in wedges. You got like full
Speaker 2: on away. I was in a birken stock that also,
Speaker 2: by the way, had some sort of like fluffy situation.
Speaker 2: It was basically like a pillow was made into a
Speaker 2: birken stock. My feet were hurting so bad, and Jessica
Speaker 2: was like, let's walk even more. It had already been
Speaker 2: hours of walking. I was like, no, I'm done, I'm done.
Speaker 3: A little grumpy. She got a little grumpy. Physical I
Speaker 3: get a little grumpy.
Speaker 1: She got a little grumpy. And then I had a
Speaker 1: little secret my back pocket. So we're walking, and then
Speaker 1: and then so I looked at the Google Maps, because yes,
Speaker 1: absolutely I have no.
Speaker 3: Idea how to genuinely get around on my own. But
Speaker 3: if you get out the little Google maps, it's great.
Speaker 3: And so I'm following the directions and I see it's
Speaker 3: probably like a forty minute walk. And I know if
Speaker 3: I tell her it's forty minutes.
Speaker 1: There's no way that I have a buy in fucking
Speaker 1: no way is she doing it even in the little
Speaker 1: pillows that are underneath.
Speaker 3: Like that are underneath her feet. No way she was
Speaker 3: carried quite frankly, I don't think she'd do the forty
Speaker 3: minute walk. But anyways, so I look at it and
Speaker 3: I just decide not to tell her that part, and
Speaker 3: then I figure we'll I'll let her think that we're
Speaker 3: looking for a taxi and then she thinks she's gonna
Speaker 3: call an uber. I'm like, I don't know if you've
Speaker 3: seen movies about Paris, but there's like roundabouts, they're like
Speaker 3: crazy shit happening. There's Vespa's flying by you like you're
Speaker 3: not quietly finding a place to have your uber locate
Speaker 3: you and then jumping in. So I'm like, cool, she
Speaker 3: can just keep thinking that. So we're walking and I'm like, no, no,
Speaker 3: let's just keep going a little bit further, a little
Speaker 3: bit further. So now we get to this beautiful.
Speaker 1: Beautiful braak that you know connects the left and right bank,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, now I've got the buy in.
Speaker 1: It says we only have twenty more minutes, and she'll
Speaker 1: just be completely, you know, all in. Now we've only
Speaker 1: got twenty minutes. And I say to her, Okay, we
Speaker 1: have twenty minutes left. How are you feeling and what
Speaker 1: did you say?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: I needed to pee my pants. She also had to
Speaker 1: use the rest of her.
Speaker 2: I told you for an hour, I'm not you, guys.
Speaker 2: Capsule's like, oh my own, this is all me, ovel
Speaker 2: I My feet were dying. I was jet lagged, but
Speaker 2: also I needed a diaper. I was literally dying, and
Speaker 2: I told you one more step, I'm just gonna pee
Speaker 2: my pants in the middle of Paris. And you're like,
Speaker 2: but it's so chic.
Speaker 1: They were the kid so beautiful. Okay, So it's nighttime.
Speaker 1: There's a boat going under the bridge that we're on,
Speaker 1: and I have a little secret in my back pocket,
Speaker 1: which is that every hour on the hour at night,
Speaker 1: the Eiffel Tower starts sparkling with the lights that are
Speaker 1: that lighted up sparkling, and it's magical. There's no way
Speaker 1: that this is gonna be a problem. This is gonna
Speaker 1: be amazing. It's ace in the hole. So we get
Speaker 1: to the the bridge and I've got my video on
Speaker 1: and I'm doing the bridge and then I come up
Speaker 1: to her and I look at my clock, so I
Speaker 1: know exactly what's gonna happen. And I'm on her face
Speaker 1: and all you see is her winging and winging like I.
Speaker 3: Don't understand why I was walking for those I'm gonna
Speaker 3: pay in my bed.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, the Eiffel Tower lights
Speaker 1: up and her face goes straight to what it must
Speaker 1: look like whenever you go to a Disney theme park.
Speaker 2: You were like, Oh, it's so beautiful. We'll post this video,
Speaker 2: We'll post this video. I did almost pee my pants
Speaker 2: from the excitement there, and then yes, because it is quite.
Speaker 3: A magical experience to see the Eiffel Tower twinkling at night.
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for that experience. And then it did happen. However,
Speaker 2: if you passed us on the street during that walk,
Speaker 2: you would have seen us arguing for a full on
Speaker 2: out and me in the middle of a roundabout trying
Speaker 2: to catch an uber and almost getting run down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that definitely happened.
Speaker 1: But then you did finally concede that there was no
Speaker 1: logical place to stop and hail a cab or wait
Speaker 1: for an umber, because that was.
Speaker 3: The right thing.
Speaker 2: That was a point where I just gave up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you did, you did, but I'm glad you did.
Speaker 2: And we made it home, and we made it home,
Speaker 2: and it was a nice It was a very memorable.
Speaker 3: Walk and yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So I know we're
Speaker 3: going to get into some callers, but I feel like
Speaker 3: I need to clear up some questions about my memory.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, huh.
Speaker 1: I've heard that there's been some inquiries about the because
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I'm a reliable person
Speaker 1: for everyone here.
Speaker 2: You're talking about the rumors or schmomers come again, the
Speaker 2: rumors and schmuomers on social media that your memory is lax.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so let's just make this quick. Let's just
Speaker 1: make this has rip the band aid off. So when
Speaker 1: we had the delightful Mandy Moore on the show last week,
Speaker 1: Camilla said, you know, Mandy, you were on the show
Speaker 1: before we were, and I just completely believed that.
Speaker 3: That was true. And I do.
Speaker 1: I mean when she was saying the shooter episode, the
Speaker 1: shooter episode, the shooter episode.
Speaker 3: It definitely rang a bell. I mean, I remembered that
Speaker 3: there was a shooter episode.
Speaker 2: What do you want to medal? That's one of the
Speaker 2: most iconic episodes has ever happened. Of course that was
Speaker 2: a shooter episode. Well, how great is it that I
Speaker 2: was in it? Then?
Speaker 3: I didn't even remember that I was in it, but
Speaker 3: I was in it. How awesome is that?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Honestly, here's let's call it. Let's let's
Speaker 2: talk about the real version of this story. I we
Speaker 2: had a little debrief situation before that, even meeting with Mandy,
Speaker 2: and I said to you, I think she was on
Speaker 2: the show before we were on the show. Is that true?
Speaker 2: And You're like, mm hmm, yeah, that's my Jess impression. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And then cut to the episode airs while we're in Paris.
Speaker 3: And full on all the pitch.
Speaker 2: You were a huge storyline the shooter episode.
Speaker 3: In fact, we protected some.
Speaker 2: Girl apparently did I was, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: Great in that episode.
Speaker 2: I think we need to rewatch.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, but here's the thing. We're gonna call it.
Speaker 3: We're gonna call it what it is.
Speaker 1: I forgot. I forgot that I was in the episode
Speaker 1: with her. We were not in any scenes together. I
Speaker 1: don't know what my mind made up. Maybe it made
Speaker 1: up that there was two shooter episodes. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I just plain old, forgot, forgot, forgot. Also, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna not defend myself but just say that it
Speaker 1: was probably what fourteen fifteen years ago, and I was
Speaker 1: in the very beginning of my pregnancy with Eve Gavigan,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna say that maybe my memory and all
Speaker 1: things weren't super crisp and clear, Okay, but I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to hear that I was in the Shooter episode
Speaker 1: and that it did so well.
Speaker 2: I mean, congratulations, Yes, you're in one of the one
Speaker 2: of the best episodes we've ever done.
Speaker 3: I know, I felt left out when we were talking
Speaker 3: about it, and now I'm back in.
Speaker 2: I can't win the big part.
Speaker 3: I remember it too, And then I remembered all the scenes.
Speaker 3: I do remember the scenes.
Speaker 2: It was great, Yeah, because they tweeted them scary.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: The guy that played the shooter, he was so good
Speaker 1: and he was so nice in real life, like crazy
Speaker 1: because he comes off so, you know, menacing and sad
Speaker 1: and dark and creepy and shooting people.
Speaker 2: I'm sitting in shock because Mandy talked about like even
Speaker 2: the table read, and suddenly the memories are flowing.
Speaker 3: I don't remember this table read. I don't remember the
Speaker 3: table read. I remember the I can't remember him, and
Speaker 3: I remember yeah, and I only had a very short
Speaker 3: scene with him anyways, So this is just you know again,
Speaker 3: I don't want you to lose your your your your
Speaker 3: trust and belief in me because I mostly remember things.
Speaker 2: We shall see people. Listen, the fans remember everything, so
Speaker 2: we'll find out real soon.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, fans have written in, and I do wanted to
Speaker 2: get into one question because one question specifically is about
Speaker 2: traveling and traveling with your friend. Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2: So C wrote us and said, I just got back
Speaker 2: from a twenty six day trip in Europe with friends
Speaker 2: who I've been besties with for fifteen years. By the way,
Speaker 2: twenty six days is a long time. I was gonna
Speaker 2: say that this lot, that's a long time. Yeah, good god.
Speaker 2: It was difficult. We had our differences, and after bringing
Speaker 2: together so many days, it's now radio silence. It's awkward
Speaker 2: because we share the same group of friends. How would
Speaker 2: you handle this? Would you just go with the flow
Speaker 2: or isolate yourself for a while. I personally don't want
Speaker 2: to hear about them for a while. Does that make
Speaker 2: me a terrible person or a friend?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I don't think that makes you a terrible person or
Speaker 1: a friend. I think that you have another piece of information,
Speaker 1: which is that maybe this group of friends is not
Speaker 1: who you want to travel with.
Speaker 3: I don't even actually think it needs to be that
Speaker 3: big of a deal. I think you can just sort
Speaker 3: of say, huh, we've been friends. Listen. Years is a
Speaker 3: lot longer than twenty six days.
Speaker 1: So for the most part, in a real way, you
Speaker 1: love these people, these are your besties. Those twenty six
Speaker 1: days not so much fun. And I think maybe you just, yeah,
Speaker 1: you definitely take like a little bit of time where
Speaker 1: you don't need to talk, and then you like slide
Speaker 1: back into it all and then you just don't do
Speaker 1: that again.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't even think that you need to not talk.
Speaker 2: I think you even probably keep up the pretense that
Speaker 2: everything is pretty cool unless something serious went down, just
Speaker 2: to like not make it super awkward, be like, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: did oh I just found this photo that was really
Speaker 2: fun of us. I think you don't need to hang
Speaker 2: out necessarily. But I think it's just backpocket information and
Speaker 2: a friendship. I have definitely, and I don't know about you.
Speaker 2: I've definitely traveled with people that I would not travel
Speaker 2: with again and it doesn't ruin the friendship, and you
Speaker 2: just backpocket that information. You're like, Okay, next time, it'll
Speaker 2: be a three day trip and it'll be too, somewhere
Speaker 2: much closer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 2: I don't think that you let go of a relationship
Speaker 2: this lasted that long. I agree with you, but I
Speaker 2: don't think it makes your terrible person though.
Speaker 3: No, No, I think you can have terrible thoughts and
Speaker 3: still not be a terrible person. I think that it's
Speaker 3: just one little piece.
Speaker 2: I went on vacation with somebody who was extremely type
Speaker 2: A and I'm not. And it was like, I love
Speaker 2: by the way when I travel with you, you are organized,
Speaker 2: but you're also you have your very go with the flow,
Speaker 2: like if plans change, it doesn't matter. I have definitely
Speaker 2: been on vacation people that have written me the itinerary
Speaker 2: beforehand and a list of what I should pack. Oh
Speaker 2: oh they're packing list for you there, yes, yes, like
Speaker 2: do not forget this, And it's very It's like underwear.
Speaker 2: It's like I wasn't planning you, I mean not like no. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that to me does not feel like a vacation
Speaker 2: when someone's like eight o'clock, wake up, we're gonna go here,
Speaker 2: you're coming back like I need it. I need a
Speaker 2: little go with a flow.
Speaker 3: No, that would not be fun. That would not be fun.
Speaker 3: Oh god, no, that would not be fun. That's a
Speaker 3: boot camp. No thanks.
Speaker 2: When you've traveled with someone and it hasn't gone well,
Speaker 2: what are some of the irks?
Speaker 1: I think they're just there are certain people you can
Speaker 1: spend a long amount of time with and certain people
Speaker 1: you can't. And I have a friend who I love
Speaker 1: deeply and and and completely. I just don't want to
Speaker 1: spend four or five days together. I like her much
Speaker 1: more and I really value our friendship and connection when
Speaker 1: it's in you know, four to six hours.
Speaker 3: Four to six days.
Speaker 2: That's fair.
Speaker 3: I think I have.
Speaker 2: I definitely have friends like that too. I don't even
Speaker 2: think that I ever.
Speaker 1: Gets but that I have friends. I don't get sick
Speaker 1: of it at all. That I could be with forever
Speaker 1: and I could hang out and like I like, by
Speaker 1: the end of our trip, I was sad to leave.
Speaker 1: I wasn't sick of you, not sick of you at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I hope that helps you. See. Here's the question.
Speaker 1: I really like Helena or Helena Rose. Do you, ladies,
Speaker 1: truly believe a man and woman can have a friendship
Speaker 1: without developing feelings? Oh, I already know what your answer is.
Speaker 2: Then No, I have mixed. I have mixed feelings about it.
Speaker 2: I need to know the circumstances. Okay, yeah, I will
Speaker 2: say that my best one of my very best friends
Speaker 2: who married Matt and I is a boy. So of
Speaker 2: course I think that, yes, they can just be friends
Speaker 2: because that's how we are and I adore him. I don't.
Speaker 2: I think that it's not as common though, and I
Speaker 2: think if you're both single, it gets tricky.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that,
Speaker 3: but that I completely agree with that. And I so
Speaker 3: loved my guy friends in high school and college and
Speaker 3: then after college, like I love love loved all my
Speaker 3: guy friends like not like love love, like just I
Speaker 3: loved being with them. And yes, there were multiple times.
Speaker 1: Where you start it and you think, well, we're fine,
Speaker 1: like we're just gonna be friends, and then something.
Speaker 3: Inevitably it is.
Speaker 1: It does feel like one of the people decides maybe
Speaker 1: there could be more, and then it is, and then
Speaker 1: it is ruined.
Speaker 3: It's sadly, I do think that is true.
Speaker 2: It is ruined. It definitely is ruined. But here's what
Speaker 2: I think a lot of guys would think. Listening to you,
Speaker 2: or even you know me, listening to you, you're like
Speaker 2: I have a lot a lot of guy friends in
Speaker 2: high school and college.
Speaker 3: I just love that.
Speaker 2: I'm like thinking, like, yeah, and I bet they really
Speaker 2: loved you, like royal love. I have a hard time
Speaker 2: believing that there were guys that you were really close
Speaker 2: with they didn't have an old crushy crush on you.
Speaker 3: I mean, well, I don't know, I don't know all
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. But there were a
Speaker 3: couple that might have revealed themselves.
Speaker 2: Are you counting them in this scenario of like, yes,
Speaker 2: girls and guys can be friends because they can. If
Speaker 2: they're counted in the scenario, they're immediately exed out because
Speaker 2: they had a crush.
Speaker 1: Oh but I just well, that just is a bummer
Speaker 1: because I feel like there's such a great well, don't
Speaker 1: you go back to like the.
Speaker 3: When Harry met Sally right that Noraphron movie, Like can
Speaker 3: men and women be friends? I don't know. I want
Speaker 3: to believe that they can? Is that wrong?
Speaker 1: Maybe that's my answer. I want to believe that they can,
Speaker 1: but maybe they cannot.
Speaker 2: I think that they can, of course they can. I
Speaker 2: just think at some point someone often develops feelings and
Speaker 2: that is not good. I think that's hard. Yes, And
Speaker 2: I think that there are guys that I was friends
Speaker 2: with in high school and I think that sometimes I
Speaker 2: developed feelings and sometimes stated too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's the that is the bottom line
Speaker 3: is that I think that I want for but well done.
Speaker 3: I think what you said is very true.
Speaker 1: I do think absolutely the likelihood of a man and
Speaker 1: woman successfully being friends depends on the condition, which is,
Speaker 1: are they both single, Are they both you know, partnered.
Speaker 1: I mean that's a huge huge difference. If you both
Speaker 1: go into it like a friendship at work, let's say,
Speaker 1: and you're both and you know that you're both partnered,
Speaker 1: then I absolutely think you can be friends. As long
Speaker 1: as you have really clear boundaries, you understand who's who
Speaker 1: and or what's what, then I absolutely think you can
Speaker 1: be friends.
Speaker 3: I actually really believe that that's happened to me.
Speaker 1: I I and I've loved my guy friends at work
Speaker 1: and it's been without problem or incident. I think when
Speaker 1: you're single is where things can be a little they
Speaker 1: can get a little monkey.
Speaker 2: My guy friend who's my who married me, married me,
Speaker 2: who married me and my husband Sean, and he's he
Speaker 2: is really close friends with both of us and he's
Speaker 2: engaged and we adore his fiance. I could go see
Speaker 2: a movie with him, I could go to dinner with him,
Speaker 2: and it would not be even a thought. However, there
Speaker 2: are guy friends that I would still feel like, I,
Speaker 2: you know, and we're not that well.
Speaker 3: I think that's why I brought up work, because you
Speaker 3: have to be able to work with people, right.
Speaker 2: Yes, but that's what made me think of it, because
Speaker 2: it's like, are you grabbing dinner with them after? I know,
Speaker 2: but that's what But that's but that's because that comes
Speaker 2: from the idea that like, you're not quite sure if
Speaker 2: guys and girls can be friends, and so you're just
Speaker 2: you're you're just careful. Isn't the word what I think it's.
Speaker 2: I actually think it's more. I mean, I think it's
Speaker 2: sort of healthy boundaries. Yes, but I think the questions
Speaker 2: not that. I think the question is is like can
Speaker 2: you chill? Can you go grab a beer together? Can
Speaker 2: you go to a movie and hang out? I mean,
Speaker 2: if that's what you do with girlfriends and there's no guideline,
Speaker 2: see's tricky, tricky.
Speaker 1: I'm picking up what you're putting down. I think I'm
Speaker 1: just I don't I don't that's that's not my favorite answer.
Speaker 1: I know, I wish it was the it was not.
Speaker 1: I know that's chick, I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 2: We need to when we have a guy guest, we
Speaker 2: need to come back to this question because I actually
Speaker 2: want to hear the guy's response to this. We need
Speaker 2: the other side of this. I feel like what you
Speaker 2: I feel like what you said.
Speaker 1: I feel like girls are gonna be a little bit
Speaker 1: more like, yeah, we can be friends, and guys are
Speaker 1: gonna be like no way.
Speaker 2: Let's see. I'm gonna ask them. I'm gonna We're gonna
Speaker 2: flag this question and bring it back up.
Speaker 3: I think it's an exit pole question for all our
Speaker 3: male guests.
Speaker 2: Which is for everybody. We're gonna have a few polls
Speaker 2: with this one.
Speaker 3: All right, we're gonna put the We're gonna put some
Speaker 3: more attention on this ever evolving. We're gonna come back
Speaker 3: to this. Okay, how about we go on to Lizzy. So, Lizzy,
Speaker 3: I've been in this situationship with a woman and then
Speaker 3: my best friend came along and suddenly my situationship decided
Speaker 3: she wanted to be with my best friend behind my back,
Speaker 3: and they are dating. Now. I feel betrayed by both.
Speaker 3: What advice would you give?
Speaker 1: Well, Number one, no kidding, you feel betrayed by both,
Speaker 1: That's that's betrayal behind your back. It's the definition of betrayal.
Speaker 1: You don't do things behind people's back. That's not cool.
Speaker 1: And if you were being valued in a relationship that
Speaker 1: was a situationship, then there would be you know, care
Speaker 1: of your feelings and there would be a conversation before
Speaker 1: they introduced that. You know, maybe not even their fault, right,
Speaker 1: maybe they just fell into it, but you were not
Speaker 1: regarded I don't think in the situation. So I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry because that sucks and I would feel terrible, And
Speaker 1: I guess now the advice is, I would take a
Speaker 1: I would take a moment. I would I would put
Speaker 1: them in a little time out. I think I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna I'm gonna take a little pause from
Speaker 1: you all. And then I think if you wanted to
Speaker 1: get back into it, I think it would be I
Speaker 1: think you really need to understand what happened so that
Speaker 1: it wouldn't happen again, because that you know, it was
Speaker 1: not super respectful.
Speaker 2: But I think I think the betrayal for me on
Speaker 2: this one comes more from the best friend, to be honest,
Speaker 2: because situationships they come and go, they're gonna, they're gonna,
Speaker 2: they're gonna do what they do right, and if there's
Speaker 2: not a commitment there, the lines can get a little
Speaker 2: blurry and people can get a little they can get
Speaker 2: a little shady. But a best friend, they're not so
Speaker 2: they they they're not supposed to be doing that. They're
Speaker 2: not because, by the way, if that really is your
Speaker 2: best friend, you're probably confiding in them all the things
Speaker 2: about the situationship, and they know all the ins and
Speaker 2: outs of it. And so a lot of that betrayal
Speaker 2: for me would come from the fact that I not
Speaker 2: only trust you just as a best friend now to
Speaker 2: do that, but I've been vulnerable with you, most likely
Speaker 2: talking about this, and then what has been shared now
Speaker 2: with that person, I don't know. I think it would
Speaker 2: honestly really ruin the friendship for me. I think that,
Speaker 2: especially in your twenties, I've found more so than my
Speaker 2: thirties actually, that your friendships kind of can come and
Speaker 2: go over things like this, and it really makes the
Speaker 2: friends that are not like this just you become closer
Speaker 2: to them and you value them even more.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also you make really I mean again, I don't know
Speaker 1: what age Lizzie is, but man, I mean I made
Speaker 1: some questionable choices in my twenties about certain things where
Speaker 1: you just I don't know, I think you don't understand
Speaker 1: the consequences yet you and then you do something and
Speaker 1: you it's just impulsive or whatever, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you're like, oh, that had real that had
Speaker 1: real impact. I really hurt someone or someone really hurt me.
Speaker 1: And and it's how you learn. Sadly, I mean really sadly.
Speaker 3: I wish you could learn with that. It's the whole,
Speaker 3: like you know, touching the fire. If you don't, you know,
Speaker 3: you do have to get burned to really get it.
Speaker 2: And the truth is is that most likely, and this
Speaker 2: always helped me in any situation like that, these two
Speaker 2: aren't getting married, This isn't gonna work out. And so
Speaker 2: in the end, in like how many months are a year,
Speaker 2: whatever it is, when that situationship is boring and it's done,
Speaker 2: then most likely now that person's alone and they're gonna
Speaker 2: miss your friendship and it will be a learning thing
Speaker 2: for them, and you'll be months ahead and you'll be fine.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna care. Yeah, it's hard losing Friendzo over
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But again, is that really a friend
Speaker 2: then that you care to keep for the long run
Speaker 2: because life is hard and all these things come up,
Speaker 2: you need that person to be solid with you, at
Speaker 2: least in trust.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Completely.
Speaker 2: It's a little Grace Slow memorial, by the way, very
Speaker 2: Gray Sloan memorial.
Speaker 3: I know, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: This could be any character writing in and we'd be like, well,
Speaker 2: that's that's how a season finale goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: just won't remember she's in.
Speaker 3: Why, Yeah, for sure, why do I need Yeah, no,
Speaker 3: do the work and then I just leave it.
Speaker 2: And then you literally just leave it your brain there.
Speaker 3: I leave my brain there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I actually had I had I was
Speaker 1: in a bad relationship and I really wanted to believe the.
Speaker 3: Best and I was wrong and he was cheating and
Speaker 3: doing all the things. And then it turned out.
Speaker 2: I mean I thought that I could do you have
Speaker 2: evidence of the cheating?
Speaker 3: Yeah, ultimately he came clean.
Speaker 2: But did you have any evidence or were you blindsided?
Speaker 3: No? I had a I had a feeling. I had
Speaker 3: a feeling. I had a feeling I always do yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I mean, like, what's going on?
Speaker 3: Is this is what's going on? I mean, to his credit,
Speaker 3: he said, yes, this is what's going on. Well went
Speaker 3: and go. I went and cried in the bathroom. And
Speaker 3: I thought that I could say goodbye to that and like,
Speaker 3: just like you said, Nick, never have to see them
Speaker 3: again or fine, goodbye, it's not going to work out,
Speaker 3: but that you know, that relationship where he was cheating
Speaker 3: on me? Who are they even? And I knew who
Speaker 3: she was and no, in fact, they got married. They
Speaker 3: got married and I had to work with both of
Speaker 3: them again. Oh my god, it's so juicy while they
Speaker 3: were planning the wedding. I had to sit there and
Speaker 3: be like so exciting. Yeah, oh no, let's talk about
Speaker 3: what colors the flowers are again? No, yeah, for sure,
Speaker 3: so much fun. God that was awkward. How long were
Speaker 3: you working with them for?
Speaker 2: Did she hang on?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I have more questions about this. Did she hang on?
Speaker 2: I need to know the full details. Did she know
Speaker 2: that you guys were together or did.
Speaker 3: She not know? Was she in the dark about that?
Speaker 3: I never asked. I never asked her if she knew, No,
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 2: I would ask him, what's your instinct on it, because
Speaker 2: by the way, she's like, do you like these flowers?
Speaker 2: And she knew I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 3: I think she knew. I think, but I think she
Speaker 3: kind of knew.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what he told her, but
Speaker 1: but the way that she treated me, and it wasn't poorly,
Speaker 1: but the way that she acted around me was sort
Speaker 1: of like, uh, I was imagining.
Speaker 3: That he told her, like, oh, she had a really
Speaker 3: big crush on me. I know I was in a
Speaker 3: relationship with you. No that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if you could get away with
Speaker 2: this now, because I feel like everything gets posted on
Speaker 2: social media. So if this was now, you would have
Speaker 2: been all over that Instagram account. There's no hiding that
Speaker 2: you were together, unless you're of those shady people that
Speaker 2: keep the relationship off the account.
Speaker 3: I don't know anything about this world, so I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Big red flag. By the way, if
Speaker 2: you're in a relationship and you're off that person's social media,
Speaker 2: they're purposely not posting about you. Huge red flag.
Speaker 3: Oh well, that that seems obvious for sure. You know what,
Speaker 3: it's not obvious to some people, like committed relationship and
Speaker 3: they're not posting pictures with you.
Speaker 2: Ah. People, people are like, I just think he just
Speaker 2: doesn't like you know, he doesn't want to mess up
Speaker 2: the grid.
Speaker 3: What yeah, Oh, come here, pull that grid. You bring
Speaker 3: that grid over here.
Speaker 2: I'm serious, I'm not kidding. It happens. People keep.
Speaker 1: If anybody ever writes in or calls in and says,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend or my girlfriend is keeping me off their grid.
Speaker 3: I would say walk on by for sure.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's good times being cheated on? Have you
Speaker 3: ever been cheated on?
Speaker 2: Yes? Are you kidding?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: It's a great I mean, it's not a great story.
Speaker 2: It's a very painful story.
Speaker 3: But but it's a great story. Later telling this, I
Speaker 3: feel nothing now.
Speaker 2: By the way, obviously, well it's a it was a Yes,
Speaker 2: I have been cheated on. I will it's a long story,
Speaker 2: so I'll have to get into it in another episode.
Speaker 2: But I yes, I have been cheated on. And by
Speaker 2: the way, it's kind of a juicy one.
Speaker 1: Ooh, I can't wait. Okay, well then we're just gonna
Speaker 1: tease that one. Let's have a whole episode about cheating
Speaker 1: Oh are you kidding? We're gonna have a million I
Speaker 1: mean not like I hope people are cheating on people,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure that we got some DMS or some
Speaker 1: questions about being cheated on.
Speaker 3: So let's go dig those bad boys up.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure.
Speaker 3: Every day?
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I mean like unfortunately happens, and you
Speaker 2: know in every decade of people's lives, it's hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But again I will say what I said last
Speaker 1: time we had a caller, which is cook Cook Cook
Speaker 1: Cook Karma, because I have.
Speaker 3: Seen that cup and they are still married.
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't want to be them, of course you don't.
Speaker 1: Nope, I would want to be them, and I'm so
Speaker 1: glad that And that's again what I always say, like
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that my life turned out the way
Speaker 1: that my life turned out, and that my partner turned
Speaker 1: out to be my partner.
Speaker 4: Like it's all, it's all, it all works out, it's
Speaker 4: all say, it's true, it really does all right, Well, listen,
Speaker 4: I have I have loved this recap and.
Speaker 2: I've loved these questions today. They were so different. We
Speaker 2: got to get back into that man and woman one
Speaker 2: and the friendship when we have a dude on the show.
Speaker 2: But I want to remind everyone the three different ways
Speaker 2: that they can contact us. They can DM us on
Speaker 2: the Instagram, they can follow us on TikTok, i'd call
Speaker 2: it what it is pod, and they can even call
Speaker 2: the voicemail at.
Speaker 3: Eight three three seven call it or eight seven seven
Speaker 3: seven two two five five four eight, or they can
Speaker 3: email us at call it at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 2: Give us all the details. We just love a detailed
Speaker 2: question too, because the more information we have, the better
Speaker 2: we can answer. Jessica, this has been so much fun. Again.
Speaker 2: I love you with the call it community.
Speaker 3: I love it the call it crew. All Right, I
Speaker 3: think we should call it the end of the episode,