WEBVTT - “WE’RE HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BEDROOM”

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<v Speaker 1>All from Lizard.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Hello, how's it going good?

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<v Speaker 3>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you know, I mean, it's it's all right.

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<v Speaker 2>What did you say your name was? If you said

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<v Speaker 2>a name.

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<v Speaker 1>You can just call me Lizard.

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<v Speaker 2>Lizard brings you what brings you on the phone lines today?

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<v Speaker 1>Lizard, I've got like two things, so like it kind

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<v Speaker 1>of depends for sure, like I'm trying to figure out

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<v Speaker 1>the vibe, but also what I really want to talk about, So.

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<v Speaker 2>Just get honestly, I'd rather use tell me what you

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<v Speaker 2>really want to talk about?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, cool. So I have a boyfriend and it

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<v Speaker 1>is it is, It's I've been with him a while now.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been with him a while now, and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>there's you know, there's certain things within a relationship that

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like, you know, loses its luster over time,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just it's hard to discuss that, I guess,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And yeah, yeah, mmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you tell me more?

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<v Speaker 1>Just like I think I'm his first real girlfriend. So

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<v Speaker 1>he is, you know, learning of course, but there are

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<v Speaker 1>some things that you can't really like learn by telling.

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<v Speaker 1>And I feel like I don't know how to help

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<v Speaker 1>to help him.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Like.

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<v Speaker 1>You're you're so close, dude, you're so close. You almost

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<v Speaker 1>got it, but it just it doesn't right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. How how old are you, guys?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm twenty five, he's twenty six.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, and you're his first real girlfriend. And how long

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<v Speaker 2>are you?

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<v Speaker 1>Has been together for like eight years now.

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<v Speaker 2>You've been eight years? Holy shit? Okay, so he's well,

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<v Speaker 2>of course you're his first real girlfriend. You guys have

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<v Speaker 2>been together for eight years for sure?

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<v Speaker 4>For sure?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, And you're saying that things have lost their luster

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<v Speaker 2>over eight years and you want him to do things

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<v Speaker 2>but you don't want to have to tell him to

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<v Speaker 2>do that.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's not that I don't. I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>do tell him, but like he I don't know, man

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<v Speaker 1>needs to like watch something or like may I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like at this point, like maybe you need to

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<v Speaker 1>like hook up with another girl and like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>try things out.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? Are all of these are all of the are

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<v Speaker 2>all of or most of these issues sexual? Or are

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<v Speaker 2>they other types of things?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's I think it's just that because he's

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<v Speaker 1>a great He's no o, we're all great. Guy, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't know how to like I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how to help him out, you know, like I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to give him but it's just like it's it's been

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<v Speaker 1>hard for me. I guess in a way, I'm like, like, dang,

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<v Speaker 1>because I've you know, I've had I've had a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of boyfriends, so like I know my way around.

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<v Speaker 2>But uh, well, I mean I don't know, man, you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't had a couple of boyfriends, and hopefully you haven't

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<v Speaker 2>had a couple of boyfriends in eight years.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no no. But I'm just saying like I've

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<v Speaker 1>you know, had relationships before and feel like I've learned

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<v Speaker 1>my way and he hasn't had that type of experience.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, how do I help you help me?

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<v Speaker 1>You know?

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<v Speaker 2>Sure? But you were I mean listen, here's like you

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<v Speaker 2>were what seventeen when you had these other boyfriends, and

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<v Speaker 2>I assume these other boyfriends were also in high school.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know if you've I don't I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if you've exactly run the gamut of you know,

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<v Speaker 2>sexual experience at that time. But that's not but that's

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's not important. Actually to go back to the present,

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<v Speaker 2>you want him, Okay, So this is all mainly sexual.

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<v Speaker 2>This isn't like I need him to hold the door

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<v Speaker 2>open for me and he's not doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you've got that on lockdown. I'm just trying to

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<v Speaker 1>help him out, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, well, well, well way that he feels like.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh man, I'm not doing enough or like I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>helping out enough, and I'm like, bro, you're great, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But he's he's not doing enough. What do you want?

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<v Speaker 1>I just want him to like I don't know, I

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<v Speaker 1>guess do not research, but like you know, like be like, oh, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>she likes these things, you know, like let me like

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<v Speaker 1>like figure out like what is?

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<v Speaker 3>What is?

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<v Speaker 1>What do you do when you're in this situation? Your

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<v Speaker 1>girl likes this, like you know, like how do I

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<v Speaker 1>work with her on this? But he's just like, ah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, you know?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, but okay, So there's both of you guys

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<v Speaker 2>are being like vague, you know, because if because you're

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<v Speaker 2>over here and you're like, I don't want to have

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<v Speaker 2>to tell him this thing. But I don't even think.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even know if you know what you don't

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<v Speaker 2>know that you want to tell him.

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<v Speaker 4>No, it's not that I do.

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't know how to like tell him in

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<v Speaker 1>a way or like show him in a way that

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<v Speaker 1>he's like, oh, like, this isn't like her giving me criticism.

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<v Speaker 4>This is her like.

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<v Speaker 1>Showing me, Oh she likes this, this is the way she.

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<v Speaker 2>Likes You know, what did you say? You're lizard? Lizard,

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<v Speaker 2>you guys have been together for eight years. You can

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<v Speaker 2>say to him, hey, I want you to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>I want you to you know whatever the fucking thing is.

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<v Speaker 2>You could just say to him that you want him

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<v Speaker 2>to do it. You know, he has been together for

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<v Speaker 2>eight fucking years. I mean, what is what you know?

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<v Speaker 2>If this was a guy, if this was a guy

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<v Speaker 2>that you were just getting to know and you didn't

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<v Speaker 2>want to make him think that you didn't like him

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<v Speaker 2>or whatever. Honestly, even if it was a guy you

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<v Speaker 2>were just getting to know, it's like, do you gotta

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<v Speaker 2>fucking tell the guy you know?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I mean I have him. He just doesn't know

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<v Speaker 1>how to. I don't know if that makes sense, Like, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>like I don't know, do I I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 1>just I don't want to like be like, hey, I've

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<v Speaker 1>told you this and you're it's not really like matching

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<v Speaker 1>up like to what.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's get if if you're okay with it, if

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<v Speaker 2>we can get a little bit more specific, what are

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<v Speaker 2>you trying to get? Are you trying to get hit?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Does he just not have the equipment to do or

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<v Speaker 2>the stamina to do what you want him to do?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this less about knowledge and more about uh hardware?

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, it's not hardware at all. That's the crazy part.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, what is it? What is it about?

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<v Speaker 1>It's just like I think, like, I don't know, like

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<v Speaker 1>how do I explain this? I tell him what I like,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe like being a little less gentle of course, and

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<v Speaker 1>then and then it becomes like like a maybe like

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<v Speaker 1>a performance a little bit, and I'm like, whoa slow

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<v Speaker 1>down this is that's a little that's a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all right. So for example, so for example, you

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<v Speaker 2>want like, for example, right you I assume you wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to take control of the situation.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But then when he does it, it's almost like

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<v Speaker 2>you can tell that he's doing it in such a

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<v Speaker 2>way that he wants his performance to be positively reviewed,

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<v Speaker 2>and then it feels fake exactly. Yeah, Okay, yes, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that's what I find, Like how.

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<v Speaker 1>Do I find a nice way to be like, hey, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>I can tell.

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<v Speaker 2>Just tell him just be, yeah, just tell him, just

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<v Speaker 2>be like, listen, listen, here's the thing this is about.

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<v Speaker 2>This is like an acting exercise almost. What you're trying

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<v Speaker 2>to get this guy to do. You're like being You're

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<v Speaker 2>like a director in this sense. It's like you're putting on.

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<v Speaker 1>A plate gun right now, James gun is he's directing.

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<v Speaker 1>I got it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Yeah, So here's your here's the thing, and what

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<v Speaker 2>this guy is doing is, uh, he's putting on a

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<v Speaker 2>thing instead of he's got to look within himself and

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<v Speaker 2>find like his his like dominant sexual energy, and then

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<v Speaker 2>you give him permission to do that and bring it out.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't know if he feels like you've given

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<v Speaker 2>him the permission to go within himself and find that

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<v Speaker 2>and like authentically bring it out. And so instead, what

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<v Speaker 2>he's doing is like putting on a performance of what

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<v Speaker 2>you think he wants when you want him to just

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<v Speaker 2>like fucking you know want it, you know, so you

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<v Speaker 2>gotta tell so just so you gotta tell him. You

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<v Speaker 2>gotta be like, listen, listen, you're a fucking guy. You

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<v Speaker 2>find me attractive, You have some form of dominant sexual

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<v Speaker 2>energy within you. To go fucking find that ship and

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<v Speaker 2>bring it to me. Don't uh pretend to be a

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<v Speaker 2>character or something or put on a performance that you

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<v Speaker 2>think I want. I want you to look with it.

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<v Speaker 2>I want you to authentically desire this and find it

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<v Speaker 2>in yourself. You know, So you gotta you gotta kind

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<v Speaker 2>of kind of tell him.

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<v Speaker 3>This is, this is why.

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<v Speaker 1>It's literally like the simplest thing. But hey, I appreciate it, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>For sure, you see if you did, if you, please

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<v Speaker 2>bring him on the phone sometime. I want to hear

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<v Speaker 2>this from his perspective because I feel like because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>actually I'm curious about it because I don't like, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>this is have you like like when I'm curious about

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<v Speaker 2>this right because the thing of like he wanted, there's

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<v Speaker 2>like an authentic thing within him that he's gonna find

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<v Speaker 2>and bring out, Like have you when you first brought

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<v Speaker 2>this up to him? How did it make him feel?

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<v Speaker 2>Because maybe it is possible that he's putting on this

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<v Speaker 2>performance because he doesn't have some authentic thing within him

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<v Speaker 2>that wants to be more dominant, which is okay, but

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<v Speaker 2>that could just be the nature of who he is.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know because I don't know this guy, Like

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<v Speaker 2>how did he how did he respond to this?

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<v Speaker 1>A little bit defensively? He just was upset that, like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, he's like, dang, like I wanted, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to like make it great, and I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>it's it is, but it's just there's like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like something that could be fine tuned. He just he

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<v Speaker 1>gets he beats himself up about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm hmmm mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's got to not do that. I mean that's

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<v Speaker 2>his problem, right, but uh, you know, coach him, the

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<v Speaker 2>coach him the best you can. Yeah, he's got to

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<v Speaker 2>find it within himself.

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<v Speaker 1>He got it. I'm hanging in there. I got a coach.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, is there anything else you want to say to

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<v Speaker 2>the people of the computer before we go?

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<v Speaker 3>Just have a great day or night.

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<v Speaker 4>That's YouTube geck my.

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<v Speaker 2>Lizard that that's this is my Uh, this is that's what.

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<v Speaker 2>This is my first entry into doing like a couple's

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<v Speaker 2>sex therapy with a guy in a gecko costume. I

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<v Speaker 2>do believe that though, yeah, like if there's like if

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<v Speaker 2>if no, if like an authentic desire from his side

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<v Speaker 2>isn't there, she'll be able to tell. People can always

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<v Speaker 2>fucking tell if you're h playing pretend in some way. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>whether you're like acting or you're like doing uh but yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>doing anything like people can always tell. Hell, what's up? Man?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, dude, am I really on the phone

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<v Speaker 3>call with the get go?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah? What's your name? Brother?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh dude, my name is Julian Bro.

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<v Speaker 2>Nice to meet you, man, Nice to meet you too, Jeweli,

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<v Speaker 2>and you got a good vibe to you.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh dude, man, almost I did. Fuck, I'm nervous.

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<v Speaker 2>Hold on, nah, don't be, this will be. This is

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 2>low stakes, brother, don't worry, dude.

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:55.080
<v Speaker 3>I've been listening to your show for three years now.

0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:55.320
<v Speaker 2>Man.

0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:58.720
<v Speaker 3>I watch it every day while I'm out worth Dude,

0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:01.960
<v Speaker 3>I wait every every week for you to drop a

0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:02.720
<v Speaker 3>new episode.

0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 5>Man.

0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, thank you man, I appreciate that.

0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.439
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, hell yeah, dude.

0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 2>Well listen, listen, Julian, let's get into you.

0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 5>Let's go.

0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.199
<v Speaker 2>Let's let's hear what's going on in your life?

0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 3>Uh? Nothing much, man. Well my parents just split out too,

0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 3>so that's one thing that's going on.

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 2>How long were they together for?

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:35.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, they've been together for like twenty seven years.

0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 2>I believe whoa interesting Yeah, and what was it that

0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:45.880
<v Speaker 2>caused them to split up?

0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh my mom cheated on my dad, so that was

0:13:51.880 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 3>kind of a big reason. Yeah. Yeahn man, I was sorry, nervous, bro.

0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.360
<v Speaker 2>No, do don't don't be man, We're just we're just chatting.

0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.559
<v Speaker 2>You've nothing to be sorry for it all. How how

0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:12.080
<v Speaker 2>old are you? I'm twenty three, man, twenty three so

0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.120
<v Speaker 2>at the and your parents are just now getting divorced.

0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 3>They just did it in uh February.

0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So, like, I don't know, it's interesting because like

0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:25.280
<v Speaker 2>at twenty three, twenty two, you kind of had you know,

0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 2>you're an adult. You got your own shit going on.

0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:31.120
<v Speaker 2>So it's like, I feel like my parents got divorced

0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:35.880
<v Speaker 2>when I was god damn. Maybe like I must have

0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 2>been younger than ten. Yeah, I must have been younger

0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 2>than ten. So like I'm very heavily involved in the

0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:47.600
<v Speaker 2>situation at that. Yeah yeah right, So what what was

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 2>your level of involvement as an adult with this happening

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.880
<v Speaker 2>in terms of like, well it yeah.

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.920
<v Speaker 3>It was a it was a pretty bad to be honest,

0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 3>I I uh, well, not pretty bad. I used to

0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 3>go there all the time, you know, visit my parents.

0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 3>Take my daughter there with him, get let her know

0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:15.200
<v Speaker 3>her grandparents and stuff, you know. So but I mean

0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:18.960
<v Speaker 3>as an adult now, man, you know, I don't support

0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:21.840
<v Speaker 3>cheating and nothing. If you're not happy, just leave. So

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.120
<v Speaker 3>like me, I haven't talked to my mom since that

0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:31.520
<v Speaker 3>whole thing happens. So yeah, I haven't really much heard

0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.440
<v Speaker 3>I haven't really heard much about her.

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:38.400
<v Speaker 2>So really, you haven't talked to your mom since this

0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:39.080
<v Speaker 2>went down?

0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 3>No, sir, I haven't. She's been Uh, she's been m

0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:46.520
<v Speaker 3>I A.

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 2>What was your relationship like with her before this?

0:15:55.000 --> 0:16:00.760
<v Speaker 3>It was, uh, it was decent, you know, pretty good,

0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 3>I believe, but she never really said nothing about her

0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:10.720
<v Speaker 3>having a boyfriend or nothing. So that was kind of

0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:13.120
<v Speaker 3>kind of weird when I first found out.

0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:19.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so this is the main thing that kind of

0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:26.320
<v Speaker 2>broke your guys' relationship, Like it wasn't. It wasn't. Uh

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.960
<v Speaker 2>sort of fractured a bit beforehand.

0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 3>No, it wasn't. That was kind of what broke the

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:34.960
<v Speaker 3>capital back right there.

0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:38.920
<v Speaker 2>What's your relationship like with your dad?

0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 3>Oh? Man, I talked to that guy every day, dude,

0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:44.360
<v Speaker 3>I could. I'll talk to him.

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:45.400
<v Speaker 2>How's he doing?

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 3>He's doing pretty good man. He's uh, still has problems

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:52.520
<v Speaker 3>with it here and there. You know, he'll call me

0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:56.680
<v Speaker 3>sometimes to talk about it. But he's a he has

0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:57.720
<v Speaker 3>to be taking it all right.

0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.240
<v Speaker 2>And how old is he?

0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:06.760
<v Speaker 3>He is forty six?

0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:13.720
<v Speaker 2>Forty six. Yeah, both of you guys had kids fairly young,

0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 2>it sounds.

0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I had my daughter at seventeen.

0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Man, WHOA Okay, yeah, pretty young. Huh yeah. I got

0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:28.160
<v Speaker 2>questions for you about that later, but I'm yeah, yeah,

0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:31.240
<v Speaker 2>that's cool that you're so close with your dad. So

0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:32.439
<v Speaker 2>is he like dating?

0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:32.720
<v Speaker 3>Now?

0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:33.359
<v Speaker 2>What's he doing?

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:35.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:38.560
<v Speaker 3>Man, he is dating, So check it out, dude. He recently,

0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:42.639
<v Speaker 3>just not recently, maybe like two months ago, started talking

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.320
<v Speaker 3>to this lady. He talks with her every days, out

0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.639
<v Speaker 3>with her, you know, and she has kids as well,

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:55.679
<v Speaker 3>so he met her kids already. But her kids had

0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 3>told my dad, if it's a something serious that you

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:00.760
<v Speaker 3>want with our mother, you know, when are we gonna

0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.800
<v Speaker 3>meet your kids? But I'm kind of nervous about that

0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.159
<v Speaker 3>because it's a it's a whole weird situation. You know,

0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:08.520
<v Speaker 3>my parents have been together since I was born, and

0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:10.879
<v Speaker 3>it's like a whole new experience for me.

0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, to start having like step siblings.

0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, interesting, yeah, because I I have uh four stepsisters,

0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 2>but I got to know all of them again when

0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 2>I was fairly young, so they've just always been there.

0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 2>It was not like a new thing, you know. Yeah,

0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:36.399
<v Speaker 2>how did your dad meet this lady?

0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:42.040
<v Speaker 3>Uh? Just partying, dude, just partying man party. Yeah, kind

0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:44.960
<v Speaker 3>of started living his bachelor Yeah, his bachelor life.

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.920
<v Speaker 2>Wait, tell tell me, well, hold on, I got okay,

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:53.159
<v Speaker 2>now I have all Right, we're gonna be talking for

0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.840
<v Speaker 2>a while. What's your name again, Julian man?

0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:58.960
<v Speaker 3>Julian did you tell me whatever you want?

0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:03.359
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I got Yeah, I'm bad with names, but uh,

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.080
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna be talking for a while. Have lots of questions.

0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:10.280
<v Speaker 2>So he's partying. So actually, you know, I on a

0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.320
<v Speaker 2>personal level, I'm curious about this because I'm you know,

0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:17.359
<v Speaker 2>I love being out and about and running around doing things,

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:19.680
<v Speaker 2>being you know, out of my house. Like I don't

0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:21.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I could ever live like a

0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:27.879
<v Speaker 2>fucking uh yeah, like a boring like suburban life. I

0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.959
<v Speaker 2>don't think I could ever ever do that. But I'm

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I get a little worried because I'm like, well, I'm

0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 2>twenty seven, I'm fucking I want to have kids someday.

0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:36.600
<v Speaker 2>I want to do this and that and the other thing.

0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:41.280
<v Speaker 2>But your dad is forty six, he's gotta getah, I mean,

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:45.240
<v Speaker 2>I guess, I guess. Divorced and already raised a sun

0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:47.560
<v Speaker 2>to the age of twenty two is pretty good. What

0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.400
<v Speaker 2>is hi? What does him partying look like? Where does

0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:51.400
<v Speaker 2>he go? What does he do?

0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.880
<v Speaker 3>Oh? So I'm from California, man, so there's a bunch

0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:59.280
<v Speaker 3>of nightclubs around from where I'm from, and uh, he

0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:02.600
<v Speaker 3>goes very He hangs out on the weekend. He works

0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:04.960
<v Speaker 3>throughout the week, which is good, you know, and then

0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:08.639
<v Speaker 3>like Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, obi al hanging out with

0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:11.560
<v Speaker 3>his new girlfriend or just by himself.

0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:15.399
<v Speaker 2>What does he do for work?

0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 3>He works in the fields right now?

0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:20.400
<v Speaker 2>The fields?

0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:23.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the great, he thinks. Great.

0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:27.600
<v Speaker 2>But your dad picks grapes during the day and then

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:28.920
<v Speaker 2>goes to the nightclub at night.

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:32.240
<v Speaker 3>Yes, there, that's how my old man is.

0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:35.120
<v Speaker 2>Dude. That sounds awesome.

0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:40.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, he's cool. Man, I love him.

0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:44.240
<v Speaker 2>That's so cool. Oh man, So what's he like? He

0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:47.480
<v Speaker 2>just go out by himself? Like to can I ask, what, like,

0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:48.800
<v Speaker 2>what city in California? You guys in.

0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:51.679
<v Speaker 3>Quorterville. Man, Quorterville?

0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:54.080
<v Speaker 2>Is that what the atre.

0:20:57.040 --> 0:20:59.880
<v Speaker 3>T of order?

0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:06.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh, Poulderville Order Order, Porterville? Okay, I'm way off.

0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:13.160
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yeah, it's a It's an hour away from Bakersfield

0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:17.200
<v Speaker 3>and three hours away from LA.

0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.080
<v Speaker 2>What are the nightclubs like in Porterville?

0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:24.639
<v Speaker 3>It's just all the old people, man, That's why you

0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:27.719
<v Speaker 3>little going. You know, the younger generation they hit up

0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:33.120
<v Speaker 3>the casino here in Porterville, but the nightclubs are more

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:36.320
<v Speaker 3>like older people, you know, trying to look out finding

0:21:36.400 --> 0:21:36.960
<v Speaker 3>new partner.

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:41.760
<v Speaker 2>It cool, bro, Yeah, I don't know if anyone listen,

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:44.919
<v Speaker 2>if anyone deserved to be forty six years old at

0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:49.439
<v Speaker 2>the nightclub, it is your fucking dad, you know. I

0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 2>think that's a because I think that's a good rule

0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:54.840
<v Speaker 2>of thumb because your dad you're twenty two, so your

0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:57.160
<v Speaker 2>dad had Yeah. So when your dad was twenty four,

0:21:57.960 --> 0:21:59.159
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know what. I don't know what

0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:02.679
<v Speaker 2>his shit was like, you know, at that time. But

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:06.800
<v Speaker 2>when your dad's twenty four, he's, uh, he's not partying

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:09.199
<v Speaker 2>because he's taking care of Maybe he was, I don't know,

0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:11.480
<v Speaker 2>but maybe maybe your dad can work hard, play hard

0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:13.200
<v Speaker 2>like that. But I assume he's not partying as much,

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:19.080
<v Speaker 2>taking care of you and you know, picking fucking grapes

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:22.359
<v Speaker 2>during the day. I don't know how long that career was,

0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:27.080
<v Speaker 2>but to now, you know, his fucking wife cheated on him.

0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:29.040
<v Speaker 2>He's got a grown saw and he works, you know.

0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:31.239
<v Speaker 2>And if anyone deserved to be partying it up at

0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:33.640
<v Speaker 2>forty six, it's your dad.

0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:35.160
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:38.720
<v Speaker 3>Man, I encouraged it to you. Man. Once I found

0:22:38.760 --> 0:22:41.320
<v Speaker 3>out he was kind of like sitting at home, you know,

0:22:41.560 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 3>just suppressed, not doing nothing, badly wants to talk. I

0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:48.760
<v Speaker 3>was like, hey, man, comal, let's go. I'll take you

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:52.320
<v Speaker 3>off somewhere, take him out. He loved it ever since then.

0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:56.320
<v Speaker 2>He doesn't even need me no shit. So you got

0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:58.280
<v Speaker 2>your dad into running around partying.

0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:02.439
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Well, me and my wife, dude, we uh, we

0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 3>felt kind of bad because we would talk to him,

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:07.440
<v Speaker 3>you know, and he sounded depressed. So we're like, hey,

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:09.920
<v Speaker 3>come on, let's let's go. Let's go off somewhere.

0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 2>So cool and what was his life like like? Like,

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:18.639
<v Speaker 2>what was his like day to day life like before

0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:19.000
<v Speaker 2>all this?

0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:24.520
<v Speaker 3>Man, he just come home, played with me and my brothers.

0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.920
<v Speaker 3>You know, that was about it. Every once in a while,

0:23:28.040 --> 0:23:31.040
<v Speaker 3>he'll pick himself up a little battery pack of beer

0:23:31.119 --> 0:23:36.399
<v Speaker 3>and drink there. Watch his play. I was pretty much

0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:38.280
<v Speaker 3>it man. That was his day to day life, just

0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:39.320
<v Speaker 3>hanging out with his kids.

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:43.600
<v Speaker 2>M How many brothers do you got?

0:23:44.040 --> 0:23:44.639
<v Speaker 3>I got to you.

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:47.040
<v Speaker 2>Are you close with them?

0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:51.040
<v Speaker 6>Uh? The little one, yeah, I'm not so much the

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 6>middle one.

0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Is there a reason why?

0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:58.840
<v Speaker 3>Uh? He just kind of went down the wrong path, man,

0:23:58.920 --> 0:24:01.399
<v Speaker 3>Try to strain him out, couldn't do it, you know,

0:24:02.240 --> 0:24:06.000
<v Speaker 3>I let him, Let him find out his own choices

0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:08.000
<v Speaker 3>have consequences.

0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:13.639
<v Speaker 2>Hm hmm. I won't pry if it's too much, but like,

0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:17.400
<v Speaker 2>what what what were the choices?

0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 3>Well, me and him, we grew up playing a guitar

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:27.280
<v Speaker 3>and accordion, so uh he he recently joined a group

0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:30.639
<v Speaker 3>and uh, he's just been going downhill after that.

0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:34.080
<v Speaker 2>Man, you know those hold up, hold on, brother, I

0:24:34.119 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 2>thought you were gonna say he like joined a gang

0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:40.920
<v Speaker 2>or something. Not that he started playing accordion, so it.

0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:42.720
<v Speaker 5>Was a not gang bang or nothing.

0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:45.359
<v Speaker 3>You know. He Uh he hangs out with the with

0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:48.120
<v Speaker 3>the artists here in uh in our town, and uh,

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, kind of the big party lifestyle leads down

0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:54.480
<v Speaker 3>the wrong path and you know what I mean.

0:24:55.600 --> 0:24:58.280
<v Speaker 2>I kind of don't to be honest with you, like

0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:00.399
<v Speaker 2>because he doing like he's doing like hard drum and

0:25:00.400 --> 0:25:00.879
<v Speaker 2>ship like that.

0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:05.640
<v Speaker 3>H soma. Yeah yeah, but like.

0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:08.440
<v Speaker 2>No, I still kind of don't know what you mean,

0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:10.879
<v Speaker 2>Like it sounds like he's got like he plays the

0:25:10.920 --> 0:25:16.719
<v Speaker 2>Accordon accordion. He's hanging out with like musician artist people.

0:25:17.880 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, maybe he doesn't you know, like what's like? Yeah,

0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I guess, I'm I am. I'm a little curious.

0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:28.240
<v Speaker 3>Oh, he just kind of does a coke I guess

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 3>here and there. And I personally don't don't uh in

0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:35.520
<v Speaker 3>uh what do you call it? Involve myself with those

0:25:35.600 --> 0:25:38.719
<v Speaker 3>kind of people, especially with my daughter being around. I

0:25:38.760 --> 0:25:42.159
<v Speaker 3>try to set a good example for my daughter, you know.

0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:43.680
<v Speaker 7>Mm hmmm.

0:25:43.840 --> 0:25:46.000
<v Speaker 3>So that's how.

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:51.600
<v Speaker 2>It is, man, Okay, And what about the youngest one.

0:25:53.320 --> 0:25:55.240
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, that guy's a little gamer.

0:25:55.320 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 6>Dude.

0:25:55.720 --> 0:25:57.119
<v Speaker 3>All he does is just game.

0:25:58.400 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 2>What's he playing?

0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:07.399
<v Speaker 3>He loves Call of Duty, dude. He loves that hold

0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:10.280
<v Speaker 3>call it duty at Fortnite, you know, you know the

0:26:10.720 --> 0:26:12.840
<v Speaker 3>young kids play that. Yeah.

0:26:12.880 --> 0:26:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I've never laid my hands on Fortnite ever in my life.

0:26:15.800 --> 0:26:16.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know anything about it.

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:24.640
<v Speaker 3>Really, man, it's pretty fun, man, it's pretty fun.

0:26:26.160 --> 0:26:33.160
<v Speaker 2>How old is the accordion guy he is when he won?

0:26:34.200 --> 0:26:36.320
<v Speaker 2>And you said you tried to straighten him out? What

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:36.960
<v Speaker 2>does that mean?

0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:41.560
<v Speaker 3>Just try to give him, you know, advise, hey man,

0:26:41.640 --> 0:26:43.399
<v Speaker 3>you know it's probably better not say, hang out with

0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:46.119
<v Speaker 3>these kind of people, get involved with these kind of

0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:49.520
<v Speaker 3>people that do this this drug, you know it. Maybe

0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:52.960
<v Speaker 3>put yourself in the in the with the right group

0:26:53.640 --> 0:26:58.080
<v Speaker 3>and then kind of progress from there. Make sure you

0:26:58.320 --> 0:27:00.480
<v Speaker 3>cause he does a gigs here in you know, on

0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:05.439
<v Speaker 3>the weekend. But the group that he's with isn't the

0:27:05.480 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 3>best influence on him. Mm hmm.

0:27:08.800 --> 0:27:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay. But but he's making the So it's mainly the

0:27:12.600 --> 0:27:14.120
<v Speaker 2>drugs that's the problem.

0:27:15.840 --> 0:27:17.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I would say, so.

0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And you don't think like it's better of the drugs.

0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I guess he's on coca all like all the time,

0:27:25.840 --> 0:27:27.320
<v Speaker 2>or he just like does it every now and then.

0:27:28.800 --> 0:27:32.280
<v Speaker 3>Uh like every weekend he plays I guess.

0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:38.600
<v Speaker 2>All right, yeah, and what do they all think of? Like,

0:27:38.680 --> 0:27:42.520
<v Speaker 2>what's there all? What's all their uh? How are they

0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:43.440
<v Speaker 2>all taking the divorce?

0:27:47.359 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 3>Well, him, he doesn't really care. You know, he's got

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:51.920
<v Speaker 3>his own thing going. But me and my little brother

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:55.399
<v Speaker 3>just kind of Ah. You know, we're not used to

0:27:55.440 --> 0:27:59.879
<v Speaker 3>the whole situation of our parents not being together because

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:02.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, we grew up with them being together. All

0:28:02.560 --> 0:28:07.000
<v Speaker 3>we knew was them being together. So it's not the best,

0:28:07.160 --> 0:28:09.120
<v Speaker 3>but we're kind of working through it.

0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:20.600
<v Speaker 2>Did they have as close of a relationship to your

0:28:20.720 --> 0:28:21.399
<v Speaker 2>dad as you do?

0:28:23.520 --> 0:28:23.840
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:28:23.920 --> 0:28:28.280
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, the little one, the little brother, but the middle

0:28:28.320 --> 0:28:33.200
<v Speaker 6>one he doesn't really have a relationship with my dad

0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:34.600
<v Speaker 6>for that same reason.

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:43.880
<v Speaker 2>M And nobody has heard from your mom. Your mom

0:28:43.960 --> 0:28:45.000
<v Speaker 2>is completely m I.

0:28:45.080 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 3>A completely Mia man. All last time I heard she

0:28:49.760 --> 0:28:53.560
<v Speaker 3>has a boyfriend, but never met the guy or anything.

0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:56.719
<v Speaker 2>Do you want your mom in your life or do

0:28:56.760 --> 0:28:57.360
<v Speaker 2>you not care?

0:28:59.600 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 3>Well, I'm I mean I kind of do want her

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 3>in my life for the same reason that I wanted

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:11.000
<v Speaker 3>to see my baby, her grandchild. But she hasn't owned

0:29:11.120 --> 0:29:15.440
<v Speaker 3>up to what she had done. You know, she still

0:29:15.880 --> 0:29:19.120
<v Speaker 3>till this day, says that he didn't cheat on my dad,

0:29:19.240 --> 0:29:22.640
<v Speaker 3>that there was a whooking going on that we didn't

0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:26.360
<v Speaker 3>know about. But it all comes down to it. My

0:29:26.440 --> 0:29:29.840
<v Speaker 3>dad has her on video with another guy at the

0:29:29.840 --> 0:29:34.880
<v Speaker 3>cemetery late at night, so it's like, well, here's the evidence. Well,

0:29:34.920 --> 0:29:43.200
<v Speaker 3>what do you want me to do? Mhmm, yeah, what do.

0:29:43.240 --> 0:29:44.960
<v Speaker 2>You do for What do you do for work? Julian?

0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:45.920
<v Speaker 2>Did you tell me already?

0:29:47.360 --> 0:29:50.000
<v Speaker 3>No? I haven't, man. I think construction, bro, that's what

0:29:50.040 --> 0:29:50.280
<v Speaker 3>I do.

0:29:52.080 --> 0:29:53.200
<v Speaker 2>How long you been with your wife?

0:29:54.920 --> 0:30:01.760
<v Speaker 3>I've been with her? Or since I was seventeen, man, seventeen, eighteen,

0:30:01.840 --> 0:30:04.440
<v Speaker 3>nineteen twenty or two long two six years.

0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:07.320
<v Speaker 2>I like your life, Julian. That's why I have so

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:10.400
<v Speaker 2>many questions you. You strike me as a I don't know,

0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:13.120
<v Speaker 2>you're You're a real man. You know, you you're like

0:30:13.200 --> 0:30:16.400
<v Speaker 2>the eldest of the two. Like it seems like you're

0:30:16.440 --> 0:30:18.960
<v Speaker 2>like you're like the guy of the family. It feels

0:30:19.000 --> 0:30:21.440
<v Speaker 2>like you're like the and you're what twenty.

0:30:21.160 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 3>Three twenty three.

0:30:24.120 --> 0:30:27.040
<v Speaker 2>And it seems like you're like the point person of

0:30:27.120 --> 0:30:30.880
<v Speaker 2>the of the fucking family, you know. Like I mean,

0:30:30.880 --> 0:30:33.840
<v Speaker 2>you're you're taking care of your you know, trying to

0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:37.480
<v Speaker 2>get your brother off of drugs. You're getting your dad

0:30:38.400 --> 0:30:40.840
<v Speaker 2>out at the club, being less depressed, You're taking care

0:30:40.840 --> 0:30:43.920
<v Speaker 2>of a fucking kid. You're working at construction like you're.

0:30:43.920 --> 0:30:46.360
<v Speaker 2>I got I got a lot of respect for you, man.

0:30:47.440 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 6>Thank you, man.

0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:50.960
<v Speaker 3>I appreciate it. Man. It is kind of hard, you know, mentally,

0:30:51.080 --> 0:30:52.680
<v Speaker 3>but I'm sure I'm looking through it.

0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:55.920
<v Speaker 2>That's really fucking cool.

0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:58.120
<v Speaker 3>To try to be happy around my kid, you know,

0:30:58.320 --> 0:31:02.000
<v Speaker 3>not not let those things affect me. But there's only

0:31:02.040 --> 0:31:02.800
<v Speaker 3>so much you can do.

0:31:03.520 --> 0:31:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, of course. So you got with your wife when

0:31:07.000 --> 0:31:11.160
<v Speaker 2>you were seventeen and then like, yeah, how soon after?

0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Like was it just like was it like a one

0:31:12.840 --> 0:31:15.120
<v Speaker 2>night stand to turn into a pregnancy that you decided

0:31:15.160 --> 0:31:15.480
<v Speaker 2>to keep?

0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:21.480
<v Speaker 3>No, we had been going out for I want to say,

0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:26.080
<v Speaker 3>like two months and then COVID hit, and then once

0:31:26.120 --> 0:31:29.360
<v Speaker 3>COVID hit, we both got it. So we were kind

0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:33.280
<v Speaker 3>of sleeping in the same room and you know, you're bored,

0:31:34.000 --> 0:31:34.880
<v Speaker 3>don't have nothing.

0:31:34.680 --> 0:31:35.400
<v Speaker 4>To do all day.

0:31:37.760 --> 0:31:38.560
<v Speaker 2>So you have a kid.

0:31:40.040 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you have a kid, you know, get the

0:31:42.920 --> 0:31:43.560
<v Speaker 3>time rolling.

0:31:44.240 --> 0:31:47.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:31:47.600 --> 0:31:50.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's pretty much my life right there. Man.

0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.360
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting though, because like, yeah, kind of like your dad.

0:31:55.400 --> 0:31:59.959
<v Speaker 2>It's like you, you know, I think there's yeah, obviously,

0:32:00.160 --> 0:32:02.680
<v Speaker 2>I think having a kid at seventeen has a lot

0:32:02.720 --> 0:32:06.160
<v Speaker 2>of fucking downsides. But if you had to find an upside,

0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:10.760
<v Speaker 2>it's like, well, you'll be done sooner like your dad,

0:32:10.800 --> 0:32:11.000
<v Speaker 2>you know.

0:32:12.640 --> 0:32:15.440
<v Speaker 3>Oh hell yeah, man, my dad. I think he had

0:32:15.520 --> 0:32:20.840
<v Speaker 3>me at like twenty and right now all his kids

0:32:20.880 --> 0:32:24.800
<v Speaker 3>are grown up, you know. The youngest is eighteen. Yeah,

0:32:24.840 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 3>and that guy's enjoying life right now, going to the club,

0:32:28.680 --> 0:32:33.360
<v Speaker 3>loving life now. And I'm probably I'm happy for me, know,

0:32:33.680 --> 0:32:36.200
<v Speaker 3>I want him to be happy. I want to help

0:32:36.280 --> 0:32:41.440
<v Speaker 3>him find someone, and it seems like he did already.

0:32:41.640 --> 0:32:45.800
<v Speaker 2>My dad is sixty something, and he he said to

0:32:45.840 --> 0:32:48.480
<v Speaker 2>me once, he was like, you know, the nice thing

0:32:48.480 --> 0:32:54.080
<v Speaker 2>about having kids is that the only really take up

0:32:54.720 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 2>a lot of time from your life for like sixteen years.

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.360
<v Speaker 3>And then pretty much they're on their own.

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:05.360
<v Speaker 2>And then they're on their own. And it's funny the

0:33:05.400 --> 0:33:07.960
<v Speaker 2>way he said it, the way I took it. I

0:33:08.000 --> 0:33:11.080
<v Speaker 2>was like, sixteen years, it's a long time. But then

0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:14.000
<v Speaker 2>to see my dad being like, you know, he's older

0:33:14.040 --> 0:33:17.840
<v Speaker 2>and he's enjoying his life still, it is cool. You know,

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:19.880
<v Speaker 2>it's like, oh, I guess maybe that is like.

0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:26.120
<v Speaker 3>Not that long, oh man. Like my daughter right now,

0:33:26.280 --> 0:33:33.720
<v Speaker 3>she's four. Yeah, she's learning. Man. She has full sentences

0:33:33.760 --> 0:33:36.800
<v Speaker 3>with you. She'll ask you, she'll I'll come home from work,

0:33:36.880 --> 0:33:39.440
<v Speaker 3>she'll ask me how's your day, dad? Oh man? Cool,

0:33:40.840 --> 0:33:44.040
<v Speaker 3>And it's crazy. Man. She blows my mind sometimes on

0:33:44.120 --> 0:33:45.560
<v Speaker 3>the questions that she asked me.

0:33:48.480 --> 0:33:49.240
<v Speaker 2>That's so cool.

0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:53.400
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, man, oh yeah, it's my bad, dude. I'm

0:33:53.400 --> 0:33:57.080
<v Speaker 3>just kind of nervous. Man. I've been doing for so

0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:58.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how long.

0:33:58.320 --> 0:34:01.040
<v Speaker 2>Dude, You got nothing to nervous about it at all?

0:34:03.280 --> 0:34:04.160
<v Speaker 2>Does your wife work?

0:34:07.200 --> 0:34:09.920
<v Speaker 3>She just finished school, man, she's trying to get a

0:34:10.000 --> 0:34:10.800
<v Speaker 3>job right now.

0:34:13.160 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 2>What's she trying to do?

0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:16.759
<v Speaker 3>Phlebottom?

0:34:18.440 --> 0:34:20.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh like drawing people's blood and ship?

0:34:21.640 --> 0:34:24.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, that's what That's what she went to school for.

0:34:25.000 --> 0:34:28.960
<v Speaker 3>And the job Mark did for that is kind of low,

0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:32.919
<v Speaker 3>so there's a she can't release a new job right now.

0:34:35.000 --> 0:34:40.239
<v Speaker 3>But like I told her, man, hey, my incomes to

0:34:40.280 --> 0:34:40.960
<v Speaker 3>worry about that.

0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh ship, Yeah, Julian, your phone is sucking up real quick,

0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:45.040
<v Speaker 2>your phone is sucking up.

0:34:46.040 --> 0:34:48.200
<v Speaker 3>Oh my bad, man, my bad.

0:34:48.040 --> 0:34:51.239
<v Speaker 2>No worries. What were you saying? I?

0:34:51.320 --> 0:34:54.960
<v Speaker 3>Like I told her, man, my incomes supports both of us,

0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:58.440
<v Speaker 3>so she doesn't really have to worry about finding a

0:34:58.560 --> 0:34:59.280
<v Speaker 3>job right now.

0:35:03.320 --> 0:35:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Are you getting in a car?

0:35:05.640 --> 0:35:07.239
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Man, I'm beating work right now.

0:35:07.719 --> 0:35:14.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh what are you gonna do when you get home? Uh?

0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:19.080
<v Speaker 3>Just hang out man, pretty much that's about it. Hang out,

0:35:19.440 --> 0:35:22.280
<v Speaker 3>play with my daughter for a little bit. That's pretty

0:35:22.320 --> 0:35:23.879
<v Speaker 3>much my day.

0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:29.719
<v Speaker 2>When you're forty six years old, do you do you

0:35:29.800 --> 0:35:31.200
<v Speaker 2>plan on going to the club?

0:35:33.680 --> 0:35:36.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, if I'm seeingle, yeah, but if not, I'll plan

0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:37.640
<v Speaker 3>on goal with my wife.

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:40.160
<v Speaker 2>That's cool. What do you guys like to do outside

0:35:40.200 --> 0:35:41.960
<v Speaker 2>of just your regular life?

0:35:45.440 --> 0:35:48.080
<v Speaker 3>Pretty much nothing. Now we keep it simple. We just

0:35:49.400 --> 0:35:52.759
<v Speaker 3>like hanging out with each other. It's pretty much it.

0:35:55.880 --> 0:36:06.960
<v Speaker 3>Anywhere I go, she goes, anywhere she goes, I go. Yeah.

0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:09.160
<v Speaker 3>What about you, man, how are you doing.

0:36:11.800 --> 0:36:14.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing I'm doing pretty good. Uh yeah, I'm doing

0:36:14.840 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 2>pretty good. I'm learning to enjoy my life bit by bit.

0:36:18.760 --> 0:36:22.279
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, man, you need life right there.

0:36:22.840 --> 0:36:26.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah. I haven't spending too much time trying to

0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:30.319
<v Speaker 2>be anywhere else except where I am. Causes a lot

0:36:30.360 --> 0:36:37.000
<v Speaker 2>of dissonance. What else was I going to say to you?

0:36:37.760 --> 0:36:37.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:40.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you said it's hard. You said your life is hard.

0:36:40.880 --> 0:36:42.799
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you have a heart, you seem like you have

0:36:42.840 --> 0:36:44.400
<v Speaker 2>a difficult thing. I mean, you have a lot of

0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:46.839
<v Speaker 2>people who you're looking out for.

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:51.120
<v Speaker 3>I just kind of gets to me a little bit

0:36:51.200 --> 0:36:54.760
<v Speaker 3>because at the same time I'm happy for my dad.

0:36:54.800 --> 0:36:58.279
<v Speaker 3>That he's going out, you know. But I'm not mad.

0:36:59.160 --> 0:37:01.840
<v Speaker 3>It just bothers me a little bit because, like I said,

0:37:01.960 --> 0:37:07.560
<v Speaker 3>all I knew was my parents being together. So I

0:37:07.680 --> 0:37:09.319
<v Speaker 3>just kind I just kind of get got to get

0:37:09.400 --> 0:37:10.440
<v Speaker 3>used to the experience.

0:37:11.080 --> 0:37:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I guess, why did you say that all you needed

0:37:16.000 --> 0:37:17.360
<v Speaker 2>was your parents together?

0:37:18.920 --> 0:37:19.839
<v Speaker 5>Well, no, I didn't.

0:37:19.840 --> 0:37:22.200
<v Speaker 3>I didn't need them together. It's just like all I

0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:23.760
<v Speaker 3>knew was them being together.

0:37:24.000 --> 0:37:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh sorry, I had misheard you. Oh yeah, what do

0:37:30.600 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 2>you think about your So you haven't met your dad's girlfriend?

0:37:36.520 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 3>No, I haven't, man, haven't. Well, I've met her once

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:43.040
<v Speaker 3>and it just so happened that there was a checkpoint

0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:48.240
<v Speaker 3>when they're getting home from the club and his girlfriend

0:37:48.239 --> 0:37:50.640
<v Speaker 3>didn't have a driver's license. This was I got two

0:37:50.719 --> 0:37:54.160
<v Speaker 3>in the morning. Man, So I guess my dad didn't

0:37:54.200 --> 0:37:56.719
<v Speaker 3>want to call me because he didn't want me to

0:37:56.719 --> 0:37:59.399
<v Speaker 3>meet her yet. But I guess they had no one

0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:02.600
<v Speaker 3>else that's the driver's license. So that was the only

0:38:02.640 --> 0:38:09.600
<v Speaker 3>time I've ever met her. M Yeah, but I guess

0:38:09.640 --> 0:38:12.319
<v Speaker 3>he's met her kids and everything, and now her kids

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:14.719
<v Speaker 3>are trying to meet us, and I don't know how

0:38:14.719 --> 0:38:15.360
<v Speaker 3>to go about that.

0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:18.520
<v Speaker 2>Are you would you? That sounds like nice though, right,

0:38:18.560 --> 0:38:21.040
<v Speaker 2>don't you want to meet them?

0:38:21.160 --> 0:38:21.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:24.799
<v Speaker 3>It sounds nice, But just like I said, man, it's

0:38:24.840 --> 0:38:27.239
<v Speaker 3>just like a new experience for me that I'm not

0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:34.359
<v Speaker 3>used to. Mm hmmmm yeah, Like like when you meet

0:38:34.400 --> 0:38:37.120
<v Speaker 3>your step sisters. How how did that?

0:38:37.200 --> 0:38:37.680
<v Speaker 5>How was that?

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:38.879
<v Speaker 4>God?

0:38:38.920 --> 0:38:41.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't even remember it because I've known my stepsisters

0:38:41.360 --> 0:38:47.880
<v Speaker 2>for so long, although I remember I was really young

0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:53.080
<v Speaker 2>when I met them, so I think I felt a

0:38:53.120 --> 0:38:57.399
<v Speaker 2>little bit of like resistance, like I think that they

0:38:57.560 --> 0:39:03.440
<v Speaker 2>felt when I was younger and my parents were divorced,

0:39:03.480 --> 0:39:07.600
<v Speaker 2>and my dad would like bring home someone new and

0:39:07.640 --> 0:39:11.920
<v Speaker 2>I would meet them, and uh, you know, even my

0:39:12.000 --> 0:39:15.520
<v Speaker 2>step mom for a long time. I think for a

0:39:15.520 --> 0:39:18.400
<v Speaker 2>long time, my step mom felt very foreign to me.

0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:23.920
<v Speaker 2>I remember I was, I like, was at a diner

0:39:24.080 --> 0:39:30.000
<v Speaker 2>once with my dad and my now stepmom, I don't

0:39:30.000 --> 0:39:34.080
<v Speaker 2>know if they were married yet, and I had like

0:39:34.160 --> 0:39:36.840
<v Speaker 2>a ice cream Sunday or whatever, and I offered my

0:39:36.960 --> 0:39:41.160
<v Speaker 2>dad a bite of it with the spoon, and that

0:39:41.800 --> 0:39:44.200
<v Speaker 2>he offered my stepmom a bite of it with the

0:39:44.200 --> 0:39:48.719
<v Speaker 2>same spoon, and then I said, uh, I'm gonna go

0:39:48.760 --> 0:39:53.640
<v Speaker 2>get a new spoon. Okay, I felt, and you know,

0:39:53.840 --> 0:39:57.719
<v Speaker 2>I remember that, and I and I'll say, honestly, even

0:39:57.800 --> 0:40:01.520
<v Speaker 2>remembering that, I feel really bad about that because it

0:40:01.560 --> 0:40:03.920
<v Speaker 2>made sense to me when I was a kid to

0:40:04.120 --> 0:40:11.799
<v Speaker 2>like just reject this foreign presence like everything. Yeah, it

0:40:11.880 --> 0:40:15.040
<v Speaker 2>just made it made sense to me to reject that

0:40:15.200 --> 0:40:20.080
<v Speaker 2>and to like be upset about that for no real reason.

0:40:21.520 --> 0:40:28.719
<v Speaker 2>And now that I'm older, I understand that, Uh, like,

0:40:29.719 --> 0:40:33.600
<v Speaker 2>well I lucked out. I really lucked out because my

0:40:33.600 --> 0:40:36.520
<v Speaker 2>my stepdad is amazing and my step mom is amazing,

0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:42.120
<v Speaker 2>and like those are two really great people, and you know,

0:40:42.160 --> 0:40:45.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad that my both of my parents found people

0:40:45.480 --> 0:40:49.880
<v Speaker 2>for them and I got I used to for a

0:40:49.920 --> 0:40:53.719
<v Speaker 2>long time. Yeah, like I wouldn't. It took me. How

0:40:53.760 --> 0:40:57.080
<v Speaker 2>old am I? It took me like ten years to

0:40:57.200 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 2>like say I love you to my stepmom and like

0:41:00.160 --> 0:41:03.080
<v Speaker 2>take and like understand that she was like trying to

0:41:03.120 --> 0:41:04.600
<v Speaker 2>like be a part of my life and she was

0:41:04.600 --> 0:41:06.960
<v Speaker 2>trying to be helpful and she was trying to be

0:41:07.000 --> 0:41:10.440
<v Speaker 2>good to me. Yeah, and that like I was, you know,

0:41:10.480 --> 0:41:16.160
<v Speaker 2>I mattered to her, and to like take that. My

0:41:16.280 --> 0:41:19.160
<v Speaker 2>step my step sisters, I don't I haven't really uh

0:41:19.560 --> 0:41:22.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, I see them, but I they kind of

0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:25.919
<v Speaker 2>you know, they they live in different places and they

0:41:26.200 --> 0:41:27.800
<v Speaker 2>have their own lives.

0:41:28.320 --> 0:41:31.000
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, you don't really get to see them in much.

0:41:32.400 --> 0:41:35.960
<v Speaker 2>No, not really, but yeah, when I, yeah, growing up,

0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:37.960
<v Speaker 2>they felt like kind of strangers to me. And as

0:41:38.000 --> 0:41:40.799
<v Speaker 2>I get older and I become and it's it's a

0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:43.440
<v Speaker 2>it's a straight up just like maturity thing of like,

0:41:43.520 --> 0:41:47.480
<v Speaker 2>as I get more mature, I try to be like, oh,

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:52.319
<v Speaker 2>these these are people. These are people that people I

0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:57.440
<v Speaker 2>care about, care about, and I should be I should like,

0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:01.680
<v Speaker 2>I should like really accept the the family, and you know,

0:42:01.719 --> 0:42:03.960
<v Speaker 2>I should you know, have a long term view, like

0:42:04.000 --> 0:42:06.520
<v Speaker 2>these people are gonna be in my life. These people

0:42:06.520 --> 0:42:09.640
<v Speaker 2>are my family. I should take that in with me

0:42:09.680 --> 0:42:14.520
<v Speaker 2>and I should really, like, uh, put in active effort

0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:16.880
<v Speaker 2>to make it so that these people are family. And

0:42:16.920 --> 0:42:19.480
<v Speaker 2>even the idea, the idea that somebody who's not blood

0:42:19.560 --> 0:42:23.400
<v Speaker 2>related to you can be family was foreign to me

0:42:23.640 --> 0:42:28.120
<v Speaker 2>for my entire like childhood and adolescents. And that's I

0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:32.080
<v Speaker 2>think that's even like a thing. I think that's a

0:42:32.080 --> 0:42:36.320
<v Speaker 2>difficult thing for like a adolescent to understand.

0:42:37.719 --> 0:42:37.759
<v Speaker 3>You.

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:43.080
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't know if that was just that, but yeah.

0:42:41.440 --> 0:42:43.880
<v Speaker 3>I'm willing to meet them, you know, I don't I

0:42:43.880 --> 0:42:46.799
<v Speaker 3>don't have nothing against her or her family, you know,

0:42:47.880 --> 0:42:50.920
<v Speaker 3>like they said, if it's something serious between them two,

0:42:52.239 --> 0:42:54.319
<v Speaker 3>well when are we gonna meet your kids? And same

0:42:54.360 --> 0:42:56.480
<v Speaker 3>thing I told my dad, you know, well, if it's

0:42:56.480 --> 0:42:59.200
<v Speaker 3>serious between you and her, when are we going to

0:42:59.239 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 3>meet her and kids? But he still hasn't gotten back

0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:07.560
<v Speaker 3>to me on that because he's, uh, he's out working

0:43:07.600 --> 0:43:08.320
<v Speaker 3>and partying.

0:43:08.400 --> 0:43:21.960
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I mean I think if you're I think

0:43:22.000 --> 0:43:25.080
<v Speaker 2>if your dad really likes this lady, you should totally

0:43:25.239 --> 0:43:26.200
<v Speaker 2>you should totally meet her.

0:43:28.000 --> 0:43:31.080
<v Speaker 3>Well, yeah that's what I'm well, I mean, I do

0:43:31.200 --> 0:43:33.319
<v Speaker 3>want to, but at the same time, I just kind

0:43:33.320 --> 0:43:37.879
<v Speaker 3>of don't. So I'm just stuck in between those two

0:43:37.960 --> 0:43:38.359
<v Speaker 3>right now.

0:43:38.719 --> 0:43:39.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fair enough, but.

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:42.280
<v Speaker 3>You know, you know how it goes.

0:43:42.320 --> 0:43:42.520
<v Speaker 6>Man.

0:43:43.120 --> 0:43:46.960
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, like I said, I if it's really something

0:43:47.000 --> 0:43:49.719
<v Speaker 3>serious between then two, I'm I'm willing to meet them.

0:43:50.120 --> 0:43:53.080
<v Speaker 3>I have nothing against them, you know, if they love

0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:56.720
<v Speaker 3>my dad and I love them too. I guess.

0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:02.040
<v Speaker 2>It was nice talking to you. You're a cool guy.

0:44:02.360 --> 0:44:05.520
<v Speaker 3>Nice. Thank you, man. I thought I've been waiting so

0:44:05.600 --> 0:44:06.719
<v Speaker 3>long to talk to you. Man.

0:44:08.560 --> 0:44:09.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is sorry.

0:44:09.400 --> 0:44:10.799
<v Speaker 3>That was the only thing I bought up.

0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:14.360
<v Speaker 2>But I have Julian, you have nothing to be sorry

0:44:14.400 --> 0:44:16.040
<v Speaker 2>for this was a really nice It was really nice

0:44:16.080 --> 0:44:20.640
<v Speaker 2>talking to you. Uh yeah, thanks for giving us this

0:44:20.640 --> 0:44:23.399
<v Speaker 2>little peek into your life. This is These are the

0:44:23.440 --> 0:44:25.359
<v Speaker 2>things I like about doing this show.

0:44:27.040 --> 0:44:30.200
<v Speaker 3>Man, and I love watching your show. D I'll up

0:44:30.200 --> 0:44:33.160
<v Speaker 3>in my earphones and I'll listen to your podcast.

0:44:32.719 --> 0:44:36.400
<v Speaker 2>All day and man, thank you brother. Is there anything

0:44:36.400 --> 0:44:37.680
<v Speaker 2>else you want to say to the people of the

0:44:37.719 --> 0:44:38.719
<v Speaker 2>computer before we go?

0:44:42.080 --> 0:44:45.120
<v Speaker 3>No, I get no. I just kind of keep on going. Man,

0:44:45.160 --> 0:44:45.920
<v Speaker 3>that's what you can do.

0:44:45.920 --> 0:44:52.680
<v Speaker 2>You beautiful, Good luck with everything. Julian, take take care.

0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:56.320
<v Speaker 2>Tell your dad. I tell your dad. The Internet gecko

0:44:56.360 --> 0:44:59.960
<v Speaker 2>guy that you listen to says hello.

0:45:01.120 --> 0:45:03.360
<v Speaker 3>Hell yeah, man, thank you, Lyle. I appreciate it.

0:45:03.400 --> 0:45:05.440
<v Speaker 2>Bro, Thank you, Julian. You have the rest of the night.

0:45:05.520 --> 0:45:11.879
<v Speaker 2>Man you do. That was Julian. I liked that guy

0:45:11.920 --> 0:45:19.040
<v Speaker 2>a lot that I was cool. Uh shit, what else? Yeah,

0:45:19.040 --> 0:45:21.799
<v Speaker 2>I was cool, he had a cool life. I like

0:45:21.840 --> 0:45:27.640
<v Speaker 2>hearing about his dad. Really just a man, I feel

0:45:27.719 --> 0:45:30.040
<v Speaker 2>I've talked about this on the show so many times.

0:45:30.080 --> 0:45:32.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if anyone who listens to it relates,

0:45:32.880 --> 0:45:36.280
<v Speaker 2>But there's so many people that I meet on doing

0:45:36.320 --> 0:45:39.880
<v Speaker 2>this show or like talk to on the phone that

0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:42.879
<v Speaker 2>are like younger than me, or that I'm like, this

0:45:42.920 --> 0:45:45.359
<v Speaker 2>person is so much more of like a man than

0:45:45.400 --> 0:45:48.839
<v Speaker 2>I am, like so much more of an adult. That's

0:45:48.880 --> 0:45:51.160
<v Speaker 2>really what it is. I think that that's really what

0:45:51.400 --> 0:45:53.960
<v Speaker 2>like fucking being an adult is. Is like if you're

0:45:54.040 --> 0:45:56.799
<v Speaker 2>the cause, Like I'm sitting in a chair right now,

0:45:59.280 --> 0:46:03.000
<v Speaker 2>I could sit in this chair until I died of starvation,

0:46:04.520 --> 0:46:10.040
<v Speaker 2>and it would like nobody else would die if I

0:46:10.080 --> 0:46:12.720
<v Speaker 2>did that, Like everything every I mean, people would be upset.

0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:14.439
<v Speaker 2>I have people in my life who would be upset

0:46:14.480 --> 0:46:19.560
<v Speaker 2>if I died, of course, but they wouldn't like other

0:46:19.640 --> 0:46:23.040
<v Speaker 2>than mentally there, they would be able to continue their lives.

0:46:23.640 --> 0:46:26.080
<v Speaker 2>I think it's one. I think it's once you have

0:46:26.280 --> 0:46:33.359
<v Speaker 2>other things that require you to not die, like I think, Yeah,

0:46:33.360 --> 0:46:35.839
<v Speaker 2>I think that's the difference between like uh, I think

0:46:35.960 --> 0:46:38.680
<v Speaker 2>that's what makes an adult is like some massive amount

0:46:38.719 --> 0:46:46.839
<v Speaker 2>of responsibility. Uh and yeah, and yeah it's cool man

0:46:47.000 --> 0:46:49.160
<v Speaker 2>like the way Julian like, you know, his fucking kid,

0:46:49.239 --> 0:46:50.839
<v Speaker 2>he's trying to help his brothers, he's trying to help

0:46:50.880 --> 0:46:52.920
<v Speaker 2>his dad. Like he's he's a good guy. I like

0:46:53.000 --> 0:46:56.799
<v Speaker 2>that guy a lot. Hello, what's up?

0:46:58.360 --> 0:46:58.960
<v Speaker 3>You're joking?

0:46:59.640 --> 0:47:01.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm not. It's me. What's going on?

0:47:01.560 --> 0:47:05.160
<v Speaker 4>Oh no, this is simultaneously a great time and also

0:47:05.200 --> 0:47:05.880
<v Speaker 4>a bad time.

0:47:06.560 --> 0:47:08.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, why is it a bad time?

0:47:09.320 --> 0:47:11.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm at my dad's house for dinner and it's his birthday.

0:47:11.840 --> 0:47:13.640
<v Speaker 4>He's putting clothes in the laundry right now.

0:47:14.000 --> 0:47:14.719
<v Speaker 2>Oh, do you have time?

0:47:14.840 --> 0:47:14.960
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:47:15.200 --> 0:47:16.200
<v Speaker 2>So, why is it a great time?

0:47:17.560 --> 0:47:20.359
<v Speaker 4>Because I can't believe this just happened. My little brother

0:47:20.400 --> 0:47:22.200
<v Speaker 4>told me to call it, and so I did.

0:47:22.560 --> 0:47:24.399
<v Speaker 2>Do you have time to talk for like a little bit?

0:47:25.480 --> 0:47:26.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, I'll give it.

0:47:26.360 --> 0:47:27.280
<v Speaker 3>I'll give it a good few.

0:47:27.160 --> 0:47:28.080
<v Speaker 5>Minutes, all right.

0:47:28.080 --> 0:47:28.360
<v Speaker 2>Cool?

0:47:28.600 --> 0:47:31.040
<v Speaker 4>My brother to go between and let my dad know

0:47:31.120 --> 0:47:31.680
<v Speaker 4>what's going on.

0:47:32.120 --> 0:47:34.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, cool? How old is your dad turning?

0:47:37.600 --> 0:47:42.040
<v Speaker 4>He was born in nineteen seventy four. He's fifty one.

0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:43.480
<v Speaker 5>He's fifty one.

0:47:44.080 --> 0:47:44.719
<v Speaker 2>How's he doing?

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:47.399
<v Speaker 3>He's doing pretty good.

0:47:47.680 --> 0:47:48.640
<v Speaker 4>Go tell him what's going on?

0:47:49.160 --> 0:47:49.520
<v Speaker 5>All right?

0:47:50.440 --> 0:47:51.560
<v Speaker 4>He just came back.

0:47:51.760 --> 0:47:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Go inform your dad of the situation.

0:47:55.239 --> 0:47:58.319
<v Speaker 4>Yeah no, I can't believe this is happening. Uh So

0:47:58.920 --> 0:48:01.120
<v Speaker 4>I actually sent you an e and you read it

0:48:01.239 --> 0:48:01.840
<v Speaker 4>very recently.

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh really, okay, tell me what the was? What the

0:48:05.120 --> 0:48:05.480
<v Speaker 2>email was?

0:48:06.400 --> 0:48:08.360
<v Speaker 4>I went to the concert. I was going to go

0:48:08.400 --> 0:48:10.640
<v Speaker 4>by myself and then I won free tickets and I

0:48:10.680 --> 0:48:11.440
<v Speaker 4>took my family.

0:48:12.320 --> 0:48:15.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, you said nothing good ever happens.

0:48:15.120 --> 0:48:20.520
<v Speaker 4>To you, not particularly this that would qualify as something good.

0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:23.279
<v Speaker 2>Do you what? I Yeah? What else did you say

0:48:23.280 --> 0:48:25.040
<v Speaker 2>in that email? Was that it?

0:48:26.360 --> 0:48:30.160
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I wrote you before a while ago because

0:48:30.200 --> 0:48:34.400
<v Speaker 4>I I I talked about burning my journals.

0:48:35.360 --> 0:48:35.600
<v Speaker 3>I have.

0:48:36.080 --> 0:48:40.600
<v Speaker 4>I moved back home like seven months ago. Now I'm

0:48:40.600 --> 0:48:46.399
<v Speaker 4>shaking a little bit, but we're doing it. Uh. Yeah,

0:48:46.480 --> 0:48:49.000
<v Speaker 4>I moved back home. I was with my partner that

0:48:49.000 --> 0:48:52.439
<v Speaker 4>I had been with for almost eight years and went

0:48:52.480 --> 0:48:56.279
<v Speaker 4>through some mental stuff being on my own that it

0:48:56.440 --> 0:48:58.840
<v Speaker 4>just didn't quite work out, and I was bringing us

0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.080
<v Speaker 4>both down a little bit. Oh, I came back home.

0:49:02.520 --> 0:49:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Hmm, I have been How have things been since you've

0:49:06.080 --> 0:49:06.600
<v Speaker 2>been back home?

0:49:09.719 --> 0:49:10.000
<v Speaker 3>Good?

0:49:10.440 --> 0:49:13.880
<v Speaker 4>Good for the most part. Like I mean, I'm healthy.

0:49:14.719 --> 0:49:20.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm healthy and I'm here. I only smoke weed as

0:49:20.080 --> 0:49:25.719
<v Speaker 4>I whisper, and I don't do anything crazy. But at

0:49:25.719 --> 0:49:29.840
<v Speaker 4>the same time, oh my, I get my social interaction.

0:49:29.480 --> 0:49:30.080
<v Speaker 3>From your show.

0:49:31.480 --> 0:49:34.120
<v Speaker 2>You get all of your social interaction from my show.

0:49:35.520 --> 0:49:37.040
<v Speaker 4>I would say ninety percent of it.

0:49:39.080 --> 0:49:41.000
<v Speaker 2>By Like are you do you talk in the twitch

0:49:41.080 --> 0:49:43.680
<v Speaker 2>chat or you just mean by like by like listening, no,

0:49:44.000 --> 0:49:51.399
<v Speaker 2>by proxy podcast like by listening to the podcast. Yes, okay,

0:49:51.400 --> 0:49:53.440
<v Speaker 2>I have multiple things to say to you.

0:49:54.160 --> 0:49:54.560
<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

0:49:55.480 --> 0:49:56.320
<v Speaker 2>What did you say your name was?

0:49:56.400 --> 0:49:59.800
<v Speaker 4>It might be ready, It's Alexis Alexis.

0:50:00.960 --> 0:50:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, first of all, thank you for listening to the show.

0:50:06.840 --> 0:50:10.560
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate it. But I do need to inform you

0:50:10.640 --> 0:50:16.200
<v Speaker 2>that this doesn't it doesn't really count as social interaction.

0:50:17.960 --> 0:50:21.200
<v Speaker 4>I'm very much aware I had a feeling.

0:50:20.920 --> 0:50:24.080
<v Speaker 2>You were aware of that. Okay, where's the.

0:50:27.120 --> 0:50:28.799
<v Speaker 4>I'm like fifty of the way there.

0:50:29.920 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 2>This this vaguely counts as social interaction. Yeah, this vaguely

0:50:34.239 --> 0:50:37.680
<v Speaker 2>counts as social interaction. This counts as much as social

0:50:37.680 --> 0:50:45.359
<v Speaker 2>interaction for both of us. I would say, yeah, uh, okay,

0:50:45.400 --> 0:50:49.720
<v Speaker 2>where's the other ten percent come from?

0:50:50.120 --> 0:50:52.040
<v Speaker 4>I live with my I mean, I live with my family,

0:50:52.120 --> 0:50:55.319
<v Speaker 4>so I think pretty much that's my day to day.

0:50:55.719 --> 0:51:00.160
<v Speaker 4>There's four people in my house, so it's like relatively busy.

0:51:00.200 --> 0:51:02.960
<v Speaker 4>But at the same time, I just I don't go out.

0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:04.839
<v Speaker 4>I go out for appointments, I go out for work,

0:51:06.360 --> 0:51:08.400
<v Speaker 4>and that's pretty much it. I mean I had friends

0:51:08.520 --> 0:51:11.319
<v Speaker 4>when I moved, you know, a year ago from my

0:51:11.360 --> 0:51:15.719
<v Speaker 4>old job. But once I came back, I was kind

0:51:15.760 --> 0:51:17.600
<v Speaker 4>of like, well, I disappeared off the face of the earth.

0:51:17.640 --> 0:51:20.560
<v Speaker 4>It'd be really weird to just kind of sert myself

0:51:20.600 --> 0:51:22.919
<v Speaker 4>back into their lives.

0:51:26.280 --> 0:51:28.239
<v Speaker 2>Do you like your well, I have multiple questions. Do

0:51:28.239 --> 0:51:30.760
<v Speaker 2>you like your family? Do you like hanging out with them?

0:51:31.480 --> 0:51:31.759
<v Speaker 3>I do?

0:51:32.760 --> 0:51:35.960
<v Speaker 4>I have, I mean, one younger brother that keeps me

0:51:36.000 --> 0:51:37.840
<v Speaker 4>on my toes, and then my older brother that I

0:51:37.840 --> 0:51:42.759
<v Speaker 4>can just like, you know, be myself with. And I'm ah,

0:51:42.840 --> 0:51:46.240
<v Speaker 4>that's just I mean, she's she's she's great, she's over

0:51:46.280 --> 0:51:47.440
<v Speaker 4>protected that type.

0:51:47.600 --> 0:51:52.480
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, how does your little brother keep you on

0:51:52.520 --> 0:51:52.960
<v Speaker 2>your toes?

0:51:54.960 --> 0:51:57.760
<v Speaker 4>He's just a goof. He's very connected to the internet,

0:51:57.840 --> 0:51:59.839
<v Speaker 4>so he keeps me a price on whatever the hell

0:51:59.920 --> 0:52:02.960
<v Speaker 4>is going on on the internet, even though I don't

0:52:02.960 --> 0:52:06.840
<v Speaker 4>want to know about it. He does a lot of editing.

0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:08.920
<v Speaker 4>He does a lot of editing. He does soccer videos.

0:52:08.960 --> 0:52:11.400
<v Speaker 4>Boys got twenty one thousand followers.

0:52:11.920 --> 0:52:13.719
<v Speaker 2>Cool on TikTok.

0:52:13.880 --> 0:52:14.680
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's crazy.

0:52:16.280 --> 0:52:17.480
<v Speaker 4>He's going to be fourteen soon.

0:52:18.080 --> 0:52:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Cool. That's awesome.

0:52:20.360 --> 0:52:25.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, doting moreshit with his life

0:52:25.680 --> 0:52:26.479
<v Speaker 4>than I am right now.

0:52:26.800 --> 0:52:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I used to edit videos when I was like, yeah,

0:52:28.960 --> 0:52:31.160
<v Speaker 2>when not. Yeah, yeah, I started, I started making movies.

0:52:31.200 --> 0:52:33.080
<v Speaker 2>I started, I mean I was editing videos. Yeah, when

0:52:33.080 --> 0:52:36.200
<v Speaker 2>I was like fucking ten or some shit. I feel

0:52:36.200 --> 0:52:41.320
<v Speaker 2>like the the Internet. Yeah, well I have multiple thoughts

0:52:41.320 --> 0:52:45.600
<v Speaker 2>because I'm like, what on some level I get scared of,

0:52:45.800 --> 0:52:49.120
<v Speaker 2>like the version of the Internet that the youth are

0:52:50.360 --> 0:52:53.080
<v Speaker 2>in now. Yes, but then I'm like, how old are you?

0:52:54.560 --> 0:52:55.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm twenty seven?

0:52:55.960 --> 0:52:58.759
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Yeah. Our our version of the Internet when we

0:52:58.760 --> 0:53:04.600
<v Speaker 2>were fourteen, it wasn't it. It wasn't that fucking different.

0:53:04.760 --> 0:53:06.600
<v Speaker 4>Like I don't I don't even know what I used

0:53:06.600 --> 0:53:08.240
<v Speaker 4>the Internet for. I use it for email.

0:53:08.960 --> 0:53:10.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but like I don't know, like we had like

0:53:10.560 --> 0:53:12.879
<v Speaker 2>fucking you know, Tumbler, and we had like our own

0:53:13.520 --> 0:53:17.319
<v Speaker 2>weird yeas and ship. Like it's not like our our

0:53:17.400 --> 0:53:20.120
<v Speaker 2>brain rot wasn't as like maybe it's the like the

0:53:20.320 --> 0:53:23.560
<v Speaker 2>like the short form video endless scrolls. Ship is a

0:53:23.600 --> 0:53:28.400
<v Speaker 2>little yeah different now, but anyway, that's a a's a

0:53:28.480 --> 0:53:31.960
<v Speaker 2>tangent from the other. You're good as a tangent.

0:53:32.280 --> 0:53:35.719
<v Speaker 4>It's just everything on the Internet now was like it's

0:53:35.800 --> 0:53:36.920
<v Speaker 4>just over stimulating.

0:53:37.800 --> 0:53:41.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, their Internet is definitely a little bit more stimulating. Man,

0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:43.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm unked out. I don't remember. There's some there's a

0:53:43.719 --> 0:53:45.279
<v Speaker 2>lot of things I was gonna ask you before I

0:53:45.320 --> 0:53:46.839
<v Speaker 2>went on that you're good.

0:53:47.760 --> 0:53:50.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm just like I I wasn't even like allowed, Like

0:53:51.040 --> 0:53:53.719
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't allowed to have even an email until I

0:53:53.760 --> 0:53:56.360
<v Speaker 4>was in like fourth grades, so I was just not

0:53:56.440 --> 0:54:03.279
<v Speaker 4>even on the internet. Like. That's good though, Yes and no,

0:54:05.560 --> 0:54:07.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm definitely an introvert.

0:54:08.239 --> 0:54:12.759
<v Speaker 2>So do you want more social interaction in your life?

0:54:13.080 --> 0:54:13.800
<v Speaker 4>I do?

0:54:14.719 --> 0:54:14.919
<v Speaker 3>Yes.

0:54:16.239 --> 0:54:17.839
<v Speaker 4>I feel like I mean, people call and they say

0:54:17.880 --> 0:54:19.680
<v Speaker 4>the same thing all the time. It's so hard to

0:54:19.719 --> 0:54:24.360
<v Speaker 4>make friends like organically, and all the people that I

0:54:24.400 --> 0:54:26.080
<v Speaker 4>work with right now, I'm just working at a like

0:54:26.120 --> 0:54:28.960
<v Speaker 4>a fast food place basically, and they're all like twenty

0:54:29.080 --> 0:54:32.719
<v Speaker 4>years old. M the kid managers.

0:54:35.200 --> 0:54:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Uh So, where did you move from? And then where'd

0:54:36.960 --> 0:54:37.360
<v Speaker 2>you move to?

0:54:39.560 --> 0:54:42.640
<v Speaker 4>I was so I grew up in Chicago and I

0:54:42.680 --> 0:54:47.839
<v Speaker 4>moved to Ohio for like I was there for maybe

0:54:47.840 --> 0:54:55.479
<v Speaker 4>like eight months. I almost made it a year. Yeah,

0:54:55.560 --> 0:54:56.560
<v Speaker 4>now I'm back to Chicago.

0:54:57.040 --> 0:55:00.480
<v Speaker 2>Are you like, like, are you like deep suburbs Chicago

0:55:00.600 --> 0:55:02.240
<v Speaker 2>or like how close are you to the city?

0:55:03.080 --> 0:55:06.720
<v Speaker 4>No, like right now I'm in the middle of the city.

0:55:06.840 --> 0:55:10.680
<v Speaker 4>Like my dad, Uh lives in like the Mexican neighborhood,

0:55:10.760 --> 0:55:13.600
<v Speaker 4>so it's it's been popping here a little bit. The

0:55:13.640 --> 0:55:16.239
<v Speaker 4>school that my brother goes to sometimes they won't let

0:55:16.239 --> 0:55:18.799
<v Speaker 4>the kids out because of like ice in the neighborhood,

0:55:18.800 --> 0:55:22.359
<v Speaker 4>and like there's phone trees for people to you know,

0:55:22.440 --> 0:55:24.520
<v Speaker 4>drop their kids off that you know, for like one

0:55:24.600 --> 0:55:26.319
<v Speaker 4>person who's going to pick up ten kids and bring

0:55:26.360 --> 0:55:27.960
<v Speaker 4>them all home. Like it's kind of.

0:55:28.000 --> 0:55:32.319
<v Speaker 2>Nuts over here, Oh because of ice. Yeah, that's fucked up.

0:55:32.600 --> 0:55:33.240
<v Speaker 2>That's crazy.

0:55:33.360 --> 0:55:35.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, this is the first time I've been over here

0:55:35.719 --> 0:55:39.080
<v Speaker 4>like in a while, but my mom's house, where I'm

0:55:39.080 --> 0:55:41.280
<v Speaker 4>normally at is like just outside of the city.

0:55:41.880 --> 0:55:44.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, didn't they just do like a whole like insane

0:55:44.239 --> 0:55:46.359
<v Speaker 2>fucking raid.

0:55:47.080 --> 0:55:50.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm pretty sure I know that they were fucking like

0:55:50.160 --> 0:55:54.759
<v Speaker 4>tear guys and the cops themselves, Like I don't know,

0:55:54.880 --> 0:55:58.279
<v Speaker 4>I don't. Yeah, I'm like I really like as much

0:55:58.280 --> 0:56:01.160
<v Speaker 4>as I stay off I stay off the internet for

0:56:01.239 --> 0:56:03.719
<v Speaker 4>like everything I'm on Reddit, that's pretty much it.

0:56:04.239 --> 0:56:06.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, I well, actually, you know, because you stay here,

0:56:06.640 --> 0:56:09.400
<v Speaker 2>let me say it, Because you stay off the internet,

0:56:09.960 --> 0:56:13.399
<v Speaker 2>you're the best person to ask because it's like, if

0:56:13.400 --> 0:56:17.120
<v Speaker 2>something's happening and you know about it, even not being

0:56:17.200 --> 0:56:19.920
<v Speaker 2>on the internet. That means it's like fucking real, you

0:56:20.000 --> 0:56:20.480
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

0:56:22.280 --> 0:56:26.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yes and no, yes and no I hear something,

0:56:26.400 --> 0:56:28.759
<v Speaker 4>it's just like like all that can't I don't know

0:56:28.760 --> 0:56:31.279
<v Speaker 4>if that's real or I hears something that is real

0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:32.960
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like, but it's fake though, I'm like they

0:56:33.000 --> 0:56:33.480
<v Speaker 4>made it up.

0:56:34.600 --> 0:56:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Well. I just mean to say, like, if like, if

0:56:36.120 --> 0:56:38.080
<v Speaker 2>you're like, if you're like on Twitter, like you'll find

0:56:38.080 --> 0:56:40.799
<v Speaker 2>a new thing to be outraged and pissed off about

0:56:40.840 --> 0:56:43.520
<v Speaker 2>every day. But if you're like, oh yeah, and if

0:56:43.560 --> 0:56:46.160
<v Speaker 2>you're like walking around the street and living your life

0:56:46.200 --> 0:56:49.680
<v Speaker 2>and witnessing things to be upset about, that that's you know,

0:56:50.560 --> 0:56:51.279
<v Speaker 2>that's like uh.

0:56:53.320 --> 0:56:57.479
<v Speaker 4>You know, yeah, just different level of impactful. I guess, right.

0:57:00.280 --> 0:57:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you live in a big, major city, so

0:57:04.080 --> 0:57:05.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't I'm not going to go

0:57:05.160 --> 0:57:07.560
<v Speaker 2>on the whole rant that I always go on, but uh,

0:57:08.400 --> 0:57:13.160
<v Speaker 2>you you can have social reaction outside of my podcast

0:57:13.239 --> 0:57:13.839
<v Speaker 2>if if.

0:57:13.760 --> 0:57:18.520
<v Speaker 4>You desire, Yeah, I think I think I'll get there

0:57:18.800 --> 0:57:22.200
<v Speaker 4>soon enough. I mean, I'm gonna be tired of being

0:57:22.200 --> 0:57:25.680
<v Speaker 4>cramped up in my house. But now it's winter, nobody

0:57:25.720 --> 0:57:26.680
<v Speaker 4>wants to go outside.

0:57:27.200 --> 0:57:28.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, Chico sucks in the winter.

0:57:29.720 --> 0:57:32.800
<v Speaker 4>It's already less than fifty degrees and it was like

0:57:32.880 --> 0:57:33.920
<v Speaker 4>seventy last week.

0:57:34.600 --> 0:57:40.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, why do you say that nothing good happens

0:57:40.160 --> 0:57:43.800
<v Speaker 2>in your You seem like you seem like dissatisfied with

0:57:43.880 --> 0:57:45.880
<v Speaker 2>your life. I don't know if I'll be able to

0:57:45.960 --> 0:57:48.160
<v Speaker 2>change that on this phone call, but i'm I we

0:57:48.200 --> 0:57:49.560
<v Speaker 2>can talk about it if you want to.

0:57:50.960 --> 0:57:53.080
<v Speaker 4>Just like the quick of it. I mean, I've I've

0:57:53.120 --> 0:57:56.280
<v Speaker 4>been in that out of school for ten years now,

0:57:56.600 --> 0:58:02.040
<v Speaker 4>you know, college, uh, and it's just I'm I thought

0:58:02.080 --> 0:58:03.520
<v Speaker 4>I wanted to be a doctor who was just one

0:58:03.520 --> 0:58:06.920
<v Speaker 4>of those things, and I was like, wow, this sucks.

0:58:07.880 --> 0:58:09.840
<v Speaker 4>And now I'm trying to go to nursing school. But

0:58:09.880 --> 0:58:11.840
<v Speaker 4>I've been trying to go to nursing school for probably

0:58:11.880 --> 0:58:15.439
<v Speaker 4>like five years, just you know, health and mental health

0:58:15.600 --> 0:58:17.800
<v Speaker 4>things have just kept me kind of in this loop.

0:58:19.400 --> 0:58:22.000
<v Speaker 4>But I think when I, uh, I moved so, I

0:58:22.040 --> 0:58:24.440
<v Speaker 4>mean when I moved away, a lot of the like

0:58:24.680 --> 0:58:27.680
<v Speaker 4>the guts and the inspiration honestly came from listening to

0:58:27.720 --> 0:58:30.439
<v Speaker 4>your podcast of like you just have to try some shit,

0:58:32.400 --> 0:58:34.120
<v Speaker 4>and I was like, I, you know, I need to try.

0:58:34.200 --> 0:58:35.760
<v Speaker 4>I need to try living on my own, and like

0:58:35.840 --> 0:58:38.800
<v Speaker 4>I was going to school out there too, and I

0:58:38.880 --> 0:58:41.360
<v Speaker 4>kind of had like this my plan was set at

0:58:41.360 --> 0:58:44.280
<v Speaker 4>that point, but it was set you know, with my partner,

0:58:45.040 --> 0:58:47.800
<v Speaker 4>and so when that kind of changed, all that went away.

0:58:47.840 --> 0:58:49.680
<v Speaker 4>It was like all that motivation was kind of gone.

0:58:49.760 --> 0:58:52.800
<v Speaker 4>It was like, you know, now my future looks different

0:58:53.160 --> 0:58:57.640
<v Speaker 4>and now it's really up to me to figure that out.

0:58:59.160 --> 0:59:01.520
<v Speaker 2>When did you break up with your partner.

0:59:03.360 --> 0:59:06.200
<v Speaker 4>In February?

0:59:06.880 --> 0:59:08.840
<v Speaker 2>So it's up to you to figure out your future.

0:59:11.120 --> 0:59:11.760
<v Speaker 4>It's heavy shit.

0:59:11.880 --> 0:59:13.520
<v Speaker 2>Kick it is heavy shit.

0:59:13.600 --> 0:59:15.600
<v Speaker 4>Okay, though I'm gonna drop the but how are you doing?

0:59:16.040 --> 0:59:19.520
<v Speaker 2>No, it's no, it's heavy, it's heavy shit. It's uh yeah.

0:59:19.520 --> 0:59:22.280
<v Speaker 2>That's one of the scarier that That's when I had

0:59:22.320 --> 0:59:29.360
<v Speaker 2>my existential crisis is when when life got Yeah, because

0:59:29.400 --> 0:59:32.840
<v Speaker 2>when you uh, well, at least from like one to eighteen,

0:59:33.640 --> 0:59:39.640
<v Speaker 2>life is pretty on the rails, right, and then it

0:59:39.680 --> 0:59:41.480
<v Speaker 2>gets a little and then like when you go to

0:59:41.560 --> 0:59:47.240
<v Speaker 2>college maybe and it's it's still on the rail, and

0:59:47.240 --> 0:59:51.600
<v Speaker 2>then you're twenty two and then something like I felt

0:59:51.600 --> 0:59:53.360
<v Speaker 2>like I had my eccential crisis because I felt like

0:59:53.440 --> 0:59:55.160
<v Speaker 2>my life was like on the rail like things were

0:59:55.240 --> 0:59:59.680
<v Speaker 2>figured out in some sense for a while, and then

0:59:59.720 --> 1:00:02.400
<v Speaker 2>they and then they and then I realized the future

1:00:02.520 --> 1:00:09.080
<v Speaker 2>was up to me and that was really spooky heavy ship.

1:00:10.400 --> 1:00:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Ah yeah, And then where do you go from there?

1:00:16.160 --> 1:00:18.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. That's like, it's like trying to It's

1:00:18.760 --> 1:00:20.080
<v Speaker 2>a very open problem.

1:00:21.360 --> 1:00:21.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

1:00:22.560 --> 1:00:25.760
<v Speaker 2>Uh. But you can't fester in it or else you

1:00:25.800 --> 1:00:29.160
<v Speaker 2>will you will die.

1:00:30.000 --> 1:00:34.880
<v Speaker 4>Bro, I've a beenfest No, You're good, I've been festering.

1:00:34.960 --> 1:00:38.120
<v Speaker 4>But I'm like, have that I haven't. I'm moving very slowly.

1:00:38.440 --> 1:00:41.040
<v Speaker 4>I think, I'm I do see. I see a couple

1:00:41.040 --> 1:00:45.360
<v Speaker 4>of therapists and they're telling me that I might be

1:00:45.400 --> 1:00:47.880
<v Speaker 4>graduating on to a new therapist. So I feel like

1:00:47.880 --> 1:00:49.800
<v Speaker 4>that's progress.

1:00:50.440 --> 1:00:53.320
<v Speaker 2>What does that mean? You graduate onto a new therapist?

1:00:54.360 --> 1:01:00.080
<v Speaker 4>I Uh. The issue that I have is I have, like,

1:01:00.360 --> 1:01:03.480
<v Speaker 4>all right, I have a history of like eating issues,

1:01:04.400 --> 1:01:08.080
<v Speaker 4>not eating enough, that kind of stuff, and because of that,

1:01:08.960 --> 1:01:13.280
<v Speaker 4>I have like sick, like vomiting episodes. It's pretty wild.

1:01:14.360 --> 1:01:17.560
<v Speaker 4>So I've been to the er for that kind of stuff.

1:01:17.600 --> 1:01:20.400
<v Speaker 4>And when I was in Ohio, it got really bad

1:01:20.680 --> 1:01:22.280
<v Speaker 4>and I so I needed to come home because I

1:01:22.280 --> 1:01:26.360
<v Speaker 4>needed like medical help and mental help. So that's Yeah,

1:01:26.480 --> 1:01:29.800
<v Speaker 4>that's the quick of it. So I was seeing a

1:01:30.840 --> 1:01:36.960
<v Speaker 4>gi psychologist like gastro psychologists, which I didn't know they existed.

1:01:38.720 --> 1:01:41.480
<v Speaker 4>Could be a ploy for more money, but they sent

1:01:41.560 --> 1:01:43.479
<v Speaker 4>me there and it helped, So I might be moving

1:01:43.520 --> 1:01:49.440
<v Speaker 4>on to someone else now. Stuff works. It is one

1:01:49.480 --> 1:01:52.040
<v Speaker 4>of those things. But it's like it's a marathon.

1:01:53.000 --> 1:01:54.120
<v Speaker 2>What kinds of stuff do you eat?

1:01:54.200 --> 1:01:54.360
<v Speaker 3>Now?

1:01:56.080 --> 1:01:58.120
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god? I mean I eat like a child.

1:01:58.200 --> 1:01:58.640
<v Speaker 3>I Uh.

1:02:00.920 --> 1:02:02.680
<v Speaker 4>The best thing that I eat is probably like black

1:02:02.720 --> 1:02:06.400
<v Speaker 4>bean burgers. I just had minnestroni minnestroni soup for dinner.

1:02:09.400 --> 1:02:09.520
<v Speaker 3>Is it?

1:02:09.640 --> 1:02:14.120
<v Speaker 4>What is ministrone soup? Yeah, it's a vegetable soup. It's like,

1:02:14.680 --> 1:02:21.200
<v Speaker 4>uh Italian. It's really just like noodles, tomato based potatoes,

1:02:21.200 --> 1:02:23.680
<v Speaker 4>carried zucchini, whatever the hell you want to put in there.

1:02:24.080 --> 1:02:27.320
<v Speaker 3>That sounds normal, Yeah, delicious.

1:02:28.080 --> 1:02:31.440
<v Speaker 4>I eat a lot of pizza same and a lot

1:02:31.440 --> 1:02:37.160
<v Speaker 4>of a lot of pasta, a lot of bread.

1:02:37.200 --> 1:02:37.360
<v Speaker 1>I have.

1:02:37.480 --> 1:02:40.720
<v Speaker 4>I've had the same thing for breakfast every day since

1:02:41.040 --> 1:02:45.800
<v Speaker 4>March of banana peanut butter and banana smoothie.

1:02:46.280 --> 1:02:47.960
<v Speaker 2>Wait, that's what I have every day for breakfast?

1:02:48.680 --> 1:02:49.840
<v Speaker 4>Are you shitting me? Right now?

1:02:50.280 --> 1:02:54.680
<v Speaker 2>Every day for breakfast I have a smoothie with peanut butter,

1:02:55.480 --> 1:03:00.640
<v Speaker 2>almond milk, banana, and a dash of protein powder. O.

1:03:01.800 --> 1:03:02.920
<v Speaker 4>It's delicious.

1:03:03.400 --> 1:03:07.080
<v Speaker 2>It's delicious, and it keeps me pretty full. I think

1:03:07.160 --> 1:03:11.200
<v Speaker 2>it's healthy. Let me know, okay, if anyone in I okay,

1:03:11.360 --> 1:03:16.640
<v Speaker 2>because I've been eating this. The first time I discovered

1:03:17.400 --> 1:03:20.560
<v Speaker 2>a peanut butter banana smoothie with almond milk, peanut butter, banana,

1:03:22.040 --> 1:03:26.240
<v Speaker 2>and protein powder, I was like, wait, this tastes really good.

1:03:28.160 --> 1:03:30.240
<v Speaker 2>There might I don't and I don't know a lot

1:03:30.240 --> 1:03:34.440
<v Speaker 2>about I'm not a nutrition guy. Uh, let me know

1:03:34.480 --> 1:03:37.680
<v Speaker 2>in the comments, folks, is that healthy? Is there anything

1:03:37.720 --> 1:03:42.880
<v Speaker 2>like it seems anything that like tastes really good. I'm like,

1:03:42.880 --> 1:03:46.439
<v Speaker 2>there's gotta be something bad about eating this every day.

1:03:46.640 --> 1:03:48.520
<v Speaker 2>But it's see, I mean like peanut butter is a

1:03:48.560 --> 1:03:53.280
<v Speaker 2>normal food, Bananas are a normal food. Protein powder is

1:03:53.320 --> 1:03:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I guess normal? Like it seems like you know, you

1:03:57.160 --> 1:03:58.560
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. It's not like a milkshake, but

1:03:58.600 --> 1:04:03.400
<v Speaker 2>it feels milkshaking exactly exactly. So there's always a catch.

1:04:03.400 --> 1:04:05.360
<v Speaker 2>There's always a fucking catch, And I want to know

1:04:05.360 --> 1:04:06.120
<v Speaker 2>if there's a catch.

1:04:08.280 --> 1:04:11.760
<v Speaker 4>As far as I know, there there isn't one, and

1:04:11.800 --> 1:04:13.000
<v Speaker 4>I would not like to know about it.

1:04:13.040 --> 1:04:14.760
<v Speaker 2>If there is, I want to know about it.

1:04:14.800 --> 1:04:19.000
<v Speaker 4>If there is no, it would destroy my routine.

1:04:20.720 --> 1:04:24.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, they yeah, No, food's been Actually, food's been

1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:27.080
<v Speaker 2>pretty good lately because I'll yeah, I'll have the smoothie

1:04:27.480 --> 1:04:30.040
<v Speaker 2>and then the protein ship. It like kind of keeps

1:04:30.080 --> 1:04:33.360
<v Speaker 2>me satiated for a while till it's till it's time

1:04:33.480 --> 1:04:36.760
<v Speaker 2>for you know, lunch.

1:04:38.000 --> 1:04:40.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, which we must we must have.

1:04:40.640 --> 1:04:44.440
<v Speaker 2>I guess, Yeah, why have you been skipping meals?

1:04:45.120 --> 1:04:45.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god?

1:04:45.840 --> 1:04:48.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm a I'm a smoothie person. And then I'll

1:04:48.480 --> 1:04:50.280
<v Speaker 4>like snack and then at dinner time.

1:04:52.240 --> 1:04:54.600
<v Speaker 2>As yes, press about what I'm doing lately, But that's

1:04:54.640 --> 1:04:56.400
<v Speaker 2>good for like losing weight. I don't know if that's

1:04:56.400 --> 1:04:57.600
<v Speaker 2>your what's what you're on.

1:04:58.360 --> 1:05:01.240
<v Speaker 4>No, it's not what I'm trying to do. And the honestly,

1:05:01.280 --> 1:05:03.240
<v Speaker 4>I put so much peanut butter in the shape it's

1:05:03.280 --> 1:05:07.080
<v Speaker 4>like it's it's like a maintenance thing. It's like as

1:05:07.280 --> 1:05:09.040
<v Speaker 4>as many calories as I can get in there.

1:05:12.520 --> 1:05:12.760
<v Speaker 3>Mmm.

1:05:12.920 --> 1:05:14.920
<v Speaker 2>Fuck, I feel like an idiot asking your name again.

1:05:15.040 --> 1:05:18.720
<v Speaker 4>But it's okay.

1:05:18.840 --> 1:05:21.000
<v Speaker 2>I could have remembered. I could recall pretty much everything

1:05:21.040 --> 1:05:23.480
<v Speaker 2>you told me in this phone call, except for your name.

1:05:24.640 --> 1:05:26.120
<v Speaker 4>It's okay. I trust you.

1:05:26.320 --> 1:05:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Quiz me. Ask me anything about your life. I'll remember it.

1:05:29.800 --> 1:05:32.040
<v Speaker 4>Where did I move from Ohio?

1:05:32.920 --> 1:05:33.160
<v Speaker 2>Wait?

1:05:33.360 --> 1:05:33.560
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

1:05:34.000 --> 1:05:36.600
<v Speaker 2>No, no, wait? Do you move from Chicago to Ohio? Ask

1:05:36.680 --> 1:05:38.040
<v Speaker 2>me another thing? Keep asking me question.

1:05:38.080 --> 1:05:39.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess that was a bad question.

1:05:39.720 --> 1:05:40.600
<v Speaker 3>That was a bad question.

1:05:40.760 --> 1:05:43.000
<v Speaker 2>No, no, that wasn't That was a good question. Keep going.

1:05:43.640 --> 1:05:44.840
<v Speaker 4>How many therapists do I have?

1:05:46.000 --> 1:05:46.120
<v Speaker 3>Mm?

1:05:46.640 --> 1:05:46.880
<v Speaker 2>Three?

1:05:48.920 --> 1:05:49.800
<v Speaker 4>Almost it's two?

1:05:50.360 --> 1:05:52.280
<v Speaker 3>Okay, my brother says.

1:05:52.120 --> 1:05:52.720
<v Speaker 4>Six or seven?

1:05:57.920 --> 1:06:00.360
<v Speaker 2>Ask me? Ask me three more questions about your life.

1:06:00.520 --> 1:06:02.520
<v Speaker 4>I feel like you're cuising me on myself right now.

1:06:04.040 --> 1:06:06.520
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm trying to quiz myself on you because.

1:06:06.440 --> 1:06:07.960
<v Speaker 4>Because how many brothers do I have?

1:06:08.680 --> 1:06:09.800
<v Speaker 2>Two? But you just said that.

1:06:10.200 --> 1:06:11.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

1:06:11.320 --> 1:06:13.640
<v Speaker 2>But also sometimes you'll just say your name and I'll

1:06:13.640 --> 1:06:15.760
<v Speaker 2>forget that. So good?

1:06:16.800 --> 1:06:18.400
<v Speaker 4>Can you tell me my name? Does that count?

1:06:18.640 --> 1:06:19.880
<v Speaker 2>Alexis? That doesn't count?

1:06:20.000 --> 1:06:22.200
<v Speaker 3>You have to all right?

1:06:23.920 --> 1:06:32.360
<v Speaker 4>Oh? When did I say I broke up with my partner?

1:06:32.720 --> 1:06:34.439
<v Speaker 2>February?

1:06:34.680 --> 1:06:35.120
<v Speaker 5>Nice?

1:06:35.360 --> 1:06:42.120
<v Speaker 4>That's impressive. How many followers does my How many followers

1:06:42.120 --> 1:06:43.160
<v Speaker 4>does my little brother have on.

1:06:43.120 --> 1:06:45.160
<v Speaker 2>TikTok twenty one?

1:06:45.640 --> 1:06:47.480
<v Speaker 4>That's awesome? Yeah, he does.

1:06:48.520 --> 1:06:53.280
<v Speaker 2>See, it's just not my name, I already forgot. No,

1:06:53.360 --> 1:06:54.160
<v Speaker 2>it's Alexis.

1:06:54.240 --> 1:06:55.320
<v Speaker 3>But it's okay.

1:06:55.560 --> 1:06:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is because I and I've gone on this

1:06:58.200 --> 1:07:03.880
<v Speaker 2>rant so many times. But like, uh, I remember certain things.

1:07:03.880 --> 1:07:04.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

1:07:04.160 --> 1:07:05.680
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I feel like my memory Sometimes I feel like

1:07:05.720 --> 1:07:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm I have dementia. Dude, I don't know. I can't

1:07:10.200 --> 1:07:13.920
<v Speaker 2>tell if I can't tell if doing this makes my

1:07:15.280 --> 1:07:18.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, how like people retire and then their dementia

1:07:18.520 --> 1:07:21.080
<v Speaker 2>gets worse. Like working like is good for your brain

1:07:21.160 --> 1:07:23.760
<v Speaker 2>in some way, you know what I mean. I can't

1:07:23.760 --> 1:07:29.400
<v Speaker 2>tell if doing this makes me dumber or smarter. I

1:07:29.440 --> 1:07:34.440
<v Speaker 2>think it's theoretically it should make my brain better.

1:07:36.200 --> 1:07:38.000
<v Speaker 4>I think it does. I think it does. But there

1:07:38.160 --> 1:07:41.680
<v Speaker 4>definitely is a memory component. You talk to so many people,

1:07:41.680 --> 1:07:51.080
<v Speaker 4>that's a whole lot of information. M it's a combo.

1:07:51.120 --> 1:07:53.280
<v Speaker 4>But you said your journal and that's I think that's

1:07:53.280 --> 1:07:54.240
<v Speaker 4>good for your brain too.

1:07:54.560 --> 1:07:56.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have done that in a while. You know,

1:07:57.000 --> 1:07:58.640
<v Speaker 2>go long periods of time without journaling.

1:07:59.680 --> 1:08:03.080
<v Speaker 4>Same, I'm I'm at five years of not journaling right now.

1:08:04.880 --> 1:08:06.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, probably how come you haven't how come you haven't

1:08:06.880 --> 1:08:08.520
<v Speaker 2>journaled in five years?

1:08:08.800 --> 1:08:09.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

1:08:09.080 --> 1:08:09.320
<v Speaker 3>God?

1:08:09.520 --> 1:08:11.280
<v Speaker 4>That I definitely I think I may have wrote you

1:08:11.320 --> 1:08:12.120
<v Speaker 4>an email about that.

1:08:12.800 --> 1:08:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, okay, remember you said

1:08:15.280 --> 1:08:15.880
<v Speaker 2>you burned.

1:08:15.680 --> 1:08:18.400
<v Speaker 4>Your I did say that journals I wanted to, I

1:08:18.439 --> 1:08:21.280
<v Speaker 4>wanted to I have, I have a lot. I have

1:08:21.439 --> 1:08:24.760
<v Speaker 4>a lot of I have years worth probably maybe like

1:08:24.800 --> 1:08:28.960
<v Speaker 4>a good six year span worth of journals that sometimes

1:08:29.000 --> 1:08:31.479
<v Speaker 4>I'll read through them and be like, it's cool, I'm

1:08:31.479 --> 1:08:34.760
<v Speaker 4>not in that place anymore. And then I kind of

1:08:34.760 --> 1:08:36.880
<v Speaker 4>wanted to do that when I came home to read

1:08:36.880 --> 1:08:40.200
<v Speaker 4>them again because I felt like such shit, but I

1:08:40.280 --> 1:08:43.639
<v Speaker 4>kind of decided not to, and I still have them.

1:08:43.840 --> 1:08:45.719
<v Speaker 4>But I feel like if I write, I'm just gonna

1:08:45.760 --> 1:08:46.519
<v Speaker 4>I'm just gonna.

1:08:46.320 --> 1:08:51.600
<v Speaker 2>Talk shit the whole time, talk about your life.

1:08:51.840 --> 1:08:56.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think so, I don't know, it might come

1:08:56.439 --> 1:08:59.120
<v Speaker 4>out kind of angry, but I guess that's the point.

1:09:00.560 --> 1:09:04.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, Sometimes I wonder if, like that's that's been

1:09:04.160 --> 1:09:05.920
<v Speaker 2>my whole thing with journaling, because sometimes I wonder like

1:09:05.960 --> 1:09:08.880
<v Speaker 2>if all of because I have so many journals that

1:09:08.920 --> 1:09:13.400
<v Speaker 2>are just like depressing journals, yea, and you look back

1:09:13.400 --> 1:09:14.720
<v Speaker 2>at them and you're like, I don't want I don't

1:09:14.720 --> 1:09:16.559
<v Speaker 2>want I don't want to keep a record of this.

1:09:16.600 --> 1:09:21.519
<v Speaker 2>I'd like to forget about this. Yeah, I have angry ones.

1:09:24.000 --> 1:09:26.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, No, some definitely some questionable things in there.

1:09:27.520 --> 1:09:30.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Man, I was reading a journal from like seven

1:09:30.200 --> 1:09:32.800
<v Speaker 2>years ago where I was I was saying some insane

1:09:33.840 --> 1:09:37.360
<v Speaker 2>things and.

1:09:38.439 --> 1:09:40.519
<v Speaker 4>It's kind of fun though, like maybe now that I'm

1:09:40.520 --> 1:09:42.519
<v Speaker 4>in a better place, I can go back and read it.

1:09:43.040 --> 1:09:46.680
<v Speaker 2>M hmm. Yeah, I was saying some insane things and

1:09:46.760 --> 1:09:50.760
<v Speaker 2>I was like, uh, I think it's it's good that

1:09:50.840 --> 1:09:53.960
<v Speaker 2>I wrote that. Now it's now honestly like, yeah, now

1:09:54.000 --> 1:09:56.600
<v Speaker 2>that I'm now that, I'm noticing that my life is

1:09:56.680 --> 1:10:03.599
<v Speaker 2>a recurring series of me. I'm looking back at journals

1:10:03.600 --> 1:10:05.920
<v Speaker 2>from seven years ago and I'm like, oh, my life

1:10:05.960 --> 1:10:12.080
<v Speaker 2>is a recurring series of me. You know, there's been evolutions,

1:10:13.000 --> 1:10:19.000
<v Speaker 2>there's been yeah blohledy blah. But I'm reading some I'm

1:10:19.000 --> 1:10:24.080
<v Speaker 2>reading journals like seven, eight years ago whatever, and I'm like, Okay,

1:10:24.120 --> 1:10:29.880
<v Speaker 2>there's evolutions here, but there's little tiny core maybe angers

1:10:30.040 --> 1:10:37.559
<v Speaker 2>or sadnesses or even joys or annoyances or whatnot that

1:10:38.080 --> 1:10:42.720
<v Speaker 2>are still like the core of them still exists with

1:10:42.840 --> 1:10:46.360
<v Speaker 2>me eight years later. This feels fucking weird.

1:10:47.800 --> 1:10:51.240
<v Speaker 4>M No, it's a weird feeling to be like, oh,

1:10:51.240 --> 1:10:53.679
<v Speaker 4>I'm still the same person that I was ten years ago,

1:10:53.720 --> 1:10:54.080
<v Speaker 4>but I'm not.

1:10:54.120 --> 1:10:57.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't not this year. Right, You're not exactly the same,

1:10:57.360 --> 1:11:00.200
<v Speaker 2>but you're also kind of totally the same.

1:11:00.360 --> 1:11:05.519
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I uh, I feel it. As much as I

1:11:05.520 --> 1:11:08.240
<v Speaker 4>hate to say this, I I feel like to wrap

1:11:08.280 --> 1:11:12.799
<v Speaker 4>it up a little bit. You sho, I do wanna.

1:11:13.120 --> 1:11:13.519
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

1:11:14.439 --> 1:11:16.960
<v Speaker 4>What you said made me think of something that, uh

1:11:17.040 --> 1:11:21.479
<v Speaker 4>from my previous like group therapy experience. There was a

1:11:22.320 --> 1:11:24.639
<v Speaker 4>girl who one time we had to draw something, right

1:11:24.680 --> 1:11:26.000
<v Speaker 4>that like reflected something.

1:11:26.040 --> 1:11:26.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

1:11:26.640 --> 1:11:28.439
<v Speaker 4>I'll try to remember it as best as I can,

1:11:28.520 --> 1:11:33.080
<v Speaker 4>but her drawing was just of a big spiral, right,

1:11:33.160 --> 1:11:36.599
<v Speaker 4>It was just a spiral. And she's like, basically, life

1:11:36.720 --> 1:11:39.160
<v Speaker 4>is like this, right. You're you start in the middle,

1:11:39.800 --> 1:11:42.720
<v Speaker 4>and every time you go around the circle, you might

1:11:42.840 --> 1:11:44.559
<v Speaker 4>end up back in the same place, but you're looking

1:11:44.600 --> 1:11:47.519
<v Speaker 4>at it from a different perspective, and you're still you

1:11:47.680 --> 1:11:49.920
<v Speaker 4>just kind of you know, going around and around. But

1:11:49.960 --> 1:11:53.280
<v Speaker 4>every every time you have more you know, you're looking

1:11:53.320 --> 1:11:54.960
<v Speaker 4>at it from a different place, so you have more

1:11:55.000 --> 1:11:56.200
<v Speaker 4>knowledge or this or that.

1:11:57.960 --> 1:12:02.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I hate that. I'm gonna think about

1:12:02.520 --> 1:12:04.360
<v Speaker 2>that every day for the rest of my life.

1:12:05.760 --> 1:12:08.719
<v Speaker 4>You're not the only one that was probably like seven

1:12:08.800 --> 1:12:10.519
<v Speaker 4>or eight years ago, and I still think about it

1:12:10.520 --> 1:12:11.120
<v Speaker 4>all the time.

1:12:12.040 --> 1:12:13.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm definitely going to be thinking about that.

1:12:15.520 --> 1:12:17.439
<v Speaker 4>It just helps me not feel as bad.

1:12:18.400 --> 1:12:21.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, yeah, life is a spiral. You start from

1:12:21.360 --> 1:12:30.360
<v Speaker 2>the bit that makes that makes such perfect sense. But

1:12:30.360 --> 1:12:34.720
<v Speaker 2>it's good, you know, No, no, I no, no, I know,

1:12:34.840 --> 1:12:37.000
<v Speaker 2>I know. I know exactly what the visual metaphor. I

1:12:37.080 --> 1:12:42.120
<v Speaker 2>understand the visual metaphor perfectly, I think. But you're expanding

1:12:42.160 --> 1:12:47.400
<v Speaker 2>outwards and you're growing, so that's good. You're not you know,

1:12:48.920 --> 1:12:52.360
<v Speaker 2>you're not it's bad. Yeah, You're not in a circle.

1:12:52.400 --> 1:13:00.799
<v Speaker 2>You're in a spiral. A spiral has forward momentum outward exactly,

1:13:01.240 --> 1:13:04.519
<v Speaker 2>but you keep going in cycles to get to that

1:13:04.640 --> 1:13:09.320
<v Speaker 2>forward momentum. So it is it is an optimistic shape

1:13:09.920 --> 1:13:14.600
<v Speaker 2>to live life. Yeah, yes, all right, I'll let you

1:13:14.640 --> 1:13:17.160
<v Speaker 2>get back to your dad's birthday party. But thanks for

1:13:17.360 --> 1:13:17.840
<v Speaker 2>talking to me.

1:13:18.920 --> 1:13:20.880
<v Speaker 4>No, I really appreciate it.

1:13:21.520 --> 1:13:23.000
<v Speaker 2>You want to say to the people at the computer

1:13:23.080 --> 1:13:23.559
<v Speaker 2>before we go.

1:13:25.960 --> 1:13:27.800
<v Speaker 4>I think I said it. I think that was my thing.

1:13:28.240 --> 1:13:31.720
<v Speaker 4>Just just keep on going. You'll figure something else out soon.

1:13:34.439 --> 1:13:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Alexis okay, I remember, Okay, I have a good night. Alexis,

1:13:37.400 --> 1:13:38.080
<v Speaker 2>thank you for calling.

1:13:39.000 --> 1:13:39.679
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Lyle.

1:13:39.800 --> 1:13:42.640
<v Speaker 4>You have a good night too bye.

1:13:46.520 --> 1:13:56.479
<v Speaker 2>That was Alexis. Well hello, hello, Oh it's the gecko guy.

1:13:58.000 --> 1:13:59.080
<v Speaker 5>Oh what's up?

1:13:59.720 --> 1:14:00.320
<v Speaker 2>What's up with you?

1:14:00.360 --> 1:14:05.080
<v Speaker 5>Man? I'm trying to catch these mice?

1:14:05.120 --> 1:14:15.600
<v Speaker 2>Man, Well, you're with me, you're trying to catch mice? Yeah, okay.

1:14:17.920 --> 1:14:18.919
<v Speaker 5>For a couple of days.

1:14:19.840 --> 1:14:22.800
<v Speaker 2>Uh. Can I have some context for this?

1:14:25.200 --> 1:14:31.080
<v Speaker 5>Well, we my partner and I moved into a new spot,

1:14:31.479 --> 1:14:38.439
<v Speaker 5>new house like two months ago, and uh, yeah the

1:14:38.520 --> 1:14:46.920
<v Speaker 5>house was mice. They're running around. Uh. We set out traps.

1:14:48.320 --> 1:14:51.320
<v Speaker 5>They're not they're not they're not biting at the traps,

1:14:53.080 --> 1:14:56.080
<v Speaker 5>and uh we see them like two to three times

1:14:56.120 --> 1:15:00.240
<v Speaker 5>a day. It's almost like they're used to us. H.

1:15:01.160 --> 1:15:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I I have a question, why not just live

1:15:04.080 --> 1:15:06.559
<v Speaker 2>with the mice as if they are like your pets

1:15:06.680 --> 1:15:10.520
<v Speaker 2>or like, why do you need them gone?

1:15:11.360 --> 1:15:18.000
<v Speaker 5>It's a good question. I feel like they're giving me

1:15:19.000 --> 1:15:28.800
<v Speaker 5>constant jump scares and that is uncomfortable as I'm just

1:15:28.880 --> 1:15:31.360
<v Speaker 5>trying to live my life.

1:15:32.160 --> 1:15:33.519
<v Speaker 2>What do you look like when you're just trying to

1:15:33.520 --> 1:15:35.240
<v Speaker 2>live your life.

1:15:35.600 --> 1:15:38.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh that's a good question.

1:15:38.680 --> 1:15:40.520
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

1:15:40.680 --> 1:15:47.040
<v Speaker 5>I cook a lot of food, Uh, which the mice

1:15:47.760 --> 1:15:52.880
<v Speaker 5>seems to like. Uh, I'd say that's like one of

1:15:52.880 --> 1:16:00.400
<v Speaker 5>my main hobbies. I go out and go on a run.

1:16:01.800 --> 1:16:10.439
<v Speaker 5>That's something I've picked up recently, kind of a a

1:16:10.479 --> 1:16:16.960
<v Speaker 5>new thing for me. Uh. And then at other times

1:16:17.160 --> 1:16:20.200
<v Speaker 5>I go to work. And I guess Thence probably liked

1:16:20.240 --> 1:16:24.320
<v Speaker 5>that the best because they get to they get to

1:16:24.400 --> 1:16:28.880
<v Speaker 5>run them out without any of destructions.

1:16:31.080 --> 1:16:37.680
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. Okay, well, I mean, is having mice in

1:16:37.720 --> 1:16:40.439
<v Speaker 2>your life. It doesn't sound like mice would really interrupt

1:16:40.439 --> 1:16:42.000
<v Speaker 2>your life all that much. It sounds like they're just

1:16:42.040 --> 1:16:42.519
<v Speaker 2>kind of there.

1:16:44.080 --> 1:16:50.360
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I mean there, it's it's uncomfortable having them around. Sure,

1:16:51.160 --> 1:16:53.720
<v Speaker 5>we just had to we had to move all the

1:16:53.760 --> 1:16:56.920
<v Speaker 5>food that we had in our sort of like common

1:16:56.960 --> 1:17:04.679
<v Speaker 5>space pantry into uh yeah, into our spaces. They leave

1:17:04.800 --> 1:17:07.840
<v Speaker 5>the mouse poop everywhere.

1:17:07.960 --> 1:17:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And like, why does I don't why does life

1:17:11.920 --> 1:17:13.719
<v Speaker 2>have to be so perfect?

1:17:13.760 --> 1:17:13.920
<v Speaker 3>You know?

1:17:14.000 --> 1:17:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Why don't you just.

1:17:15.560 --> 1:17:16.320
<v Speaker 5>Know it's real?

1:17:16.800 --> 1:17:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

1:17:18.400 --> 1:17:25.080
<v Speaker 5>And I and you know, I think I other places

1:17:25.720 --> 1:17:29.160
<v Speaker 5>in my life I feel like I'm more accepting of

1:17:29.240 --> 1:17:35.760
<v Speaker 5>that imperfection of life. Yeah, But I feel like my

1:17:36.000 --> 1:17:40.840
<v Speaker 5>uh my home space, that's like the the one thing

1:17:40.920 --> 1:17:44.879
<v Speaker 5>that I kind of want to be closer to perfect

1:17:45.040 --> 1:17:45.759
<v Speaker 5>if possible.

1:17:46.960 --> 1:17:47.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

1:17:48.120 --> 1:17:52.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean that's life, right, is we We would

1:17:52.600 --> 1:17:57.360
<v Speaker 2>like for there to not be mousepoop in our house,

1:17:59.720 --> 1:18:03.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, sometimes they're sometimes they're just as mouse poop, Yeah,

1:18:03.840 --> 1:18:06.679
<v Speaker 2>our house, so you can't get rid of it, and

1:18:08.360 --> 1:18:13.240
<v Speaker 2>sometimes it's sometimes life is about learning to deal with

1:18:13.360 --> 1:18:15.160
<v Speaker 2>the mouse poop in your house.

1:18:16.600 --> 1:18:20.960
<v Speaker 5>Absolutely, no, I uh, I'm with you on that.

1:18:22.800 --> 1:18:22.960
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

1:18:24.439 --> 1:18:32.840
<v Speaker 5>Do you have any advice for having mice besides uh?

1:18:33.479 --> 1:18:40.240
<v Speaker 5>Besides uh, I don't know the wider general outlooks of

1:18:40.320 --> 1:18:42.040
<v Speaker 5>advice that you just gave me. I don't know.

1:18:41.880 --> 1:18:44.960
<v Speaker 2>No, if you're looking for like logistical advice on how

1:18:45.000 --> 1:18:47.760
<v Speaker 2>to get rid of mice from your house, I am

1:18:47.840 --> 1:18:52.000
<v Speaker 2>absolutely one of the worst people to ask about that.

1:18:52.000 --> 1:18:52.559
<v Speaker 3>That's fair.

1:18:52.800 --> 1:18:53.360
<v Speaker 5>That's fair.

1:18:54.120 --> 1:18:55.360
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything else I want to say to the

1:18:55.360 --> 1:18:56.760
<v Speaker 2>people of the computer before we go.

1:18:57.960 --> 1:19:10.479
<v Speaker 5>Oh, nah, I'm gonna I'm gonna leave this one open ended. Okay, Yeah,

1:19:10.520 --> 1:19:14.240
<v Speaker 5>thanks Lyle. I appreciate uh, appreciate you calling.

1:19:14.880 --> 1:19:16.280
<v Speaker 2>For sure you have a good rest of the day.

1:19:16.320 --> 1:19:17.519
<v Speaker 5>Thank you you too.

1:19:17.720 --> 1:19:17.880
<v Speaker 3>Well.

1:19:17.920 --> 1:19:23.919
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't want mice in my house either. I wouldn't.

1:19:23.920 --> 1:19:27.360
<v Speaker 2>But if I don't know, yeah, that's life. Sometimes sometimes

1:19:27.360 --> 1:19:28.760
<v Speaker 2>you get mice in your house and you can't get

1:19:28.840 --> 1:19:32.720
<v Speaker 2>rid of them, and you you can move, you can

1:19:32.800 --> 1:19:35.400
<v Speaker 2>call someone who knows how to get rid of mice.

1:19:35.560 --> 1:19:37.960
<v Speaker 2>That's what I would do if I were this guy.

1:19:38.280 --> 1:19:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I would not have called me for this at all.

1:19:42.840 --> 1:19:46.000
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, or you could just be like, all right,

1:19:46.040 --> 1:19:48.840
<v Speaker 2>that's what's happening to me. I guess you could take it.

1:19:50.200 --> 1:19:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes that's a good strategy. It's a good strategy only

1:19:54.040 --> 1:19:58.839
<v Speaker 2>if there's no other practical way to deal with the situation.

1:20:00.040 --> 1:20:01.960
<v Speaker 2>It's that Napoleon meme. Do you guys know what I'm

1:20:01.960 --> 1:20:06.120
<v Speaker 2>talking about. There's like a Napoleon meme that's like, there's

1:20:06.120 --> 1:20:13.719
<v Speaker 2>nothing we can do, there's nothing. Hold on, fuck sh

1:20:14.080 --> 1:20:23.400
<v Speaker 2>there's something we can do, Napoleon. Yeah. Yeah, I encourage

1:20:23.400 --> 1:20:25.120
<v Speaker 2>everyone to look this up. There's nothing we can do.

1:20:25.240 --> 1:20:29.839
<v Speaker 2>And I don't know what's the history of this. Okay.

1:20:30.479 --> 1:20:34.479
<v Speaker 2>The phrasing bodies hopelessness based on Napoleon's exile to the

1:20:34.520 --> 1:20:41.639
<v Speaker 2>island of Saint Helena, where he died. Yeah, sometimes you're

1:20:41.680 --> 1:20:45.479
<v Speaker 2>just exiled into having mice in your house and there's

1:20:45.479 --> 1:20:51.360
<v Speaker 2>something you can do. There's a Japanese expression for this Shogun,

1:20:51.400 --> 1:20:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I Shogun. I hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the

1:20:57.880 --> 1:21:01.479
<v Speaker 2>end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a

1:21:01.680 --> 1:21:06.840
<v Speaker 2>bonus episode this week. That's right then, entire extra hour

1:21:07.200 --> 1:21:10.200
<v Speaker 2>of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming

1:21:10.200 --> 1:21:14.759
<v Speaker 2>a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapy Gecko

1:21:14.840 --> 1:21:20.000
<v Speaker 2>dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes,

1:21:20.200 --> 1:21:23.200
<v Speaker 2>They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the

1:21:23.240 --> 1:21:27.080
<v Speaker 2>regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members

1:21:27.120 --> 1:21:30.439
<v Speaker 2>only streams, and they help support my ability to continue

1:21:30.520 --> 1:21:34.160
<v Speaker 2>doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's

1:21:34.479 --> 1:21:36.440
<v Speaker 2>members only bonus episode.

1:21:36.520 --> 1:21:39.840
<v Speaker 7>I found this girl who lives in Pittsburgh, but we

1:21:39.920 --> 1:21:43.559
<v Speaker 7>go to the same college together in Houston, and they

1:21:43.560 --> 1:21:45.280
<v Speaker 7>had a lot of money, and I just went on

1:21:45.320 --> 1:21:47.880
<v Speaker 7>this vacation with them. I don't know how to feel,

1:21:47.920 --> 1:21:51.120
<v Speaker 7>man like. I've just seen some shit with money, like

1:21:51.160 --> 1:21:55.360
<v Speaker 7>they just throw it around, man like. I couldn't comprehend that,

1:21:55.680 --> 1:21:59.719
<v Speaker 7>and I guess I get jealous, which turns into anger.

1:22:00.000 --> 1:22:01.479
<v Speaker 7>But I want to stay with her because she has money.

1:22:02.080 --> 1:22:04.559
<v Speaker 2>First of all, Yeah, you're really going to stay with

1:22:04.600 --> 1:22:05.960
<v Speaker 2>this girls just because she has money.

1:22:07.960 --> 1:22:10.200
<v Speaker 3>I love her well, I didn't mean to say it

1:22:10.280 --> 1:22:10.479
<v Speaker 3>like that.

1:22:10.640 --> 1:22:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I If you want to hear this full conversation, you

1:22:13.160 --> 1:22:15.919
<v Speaker 2>can sign up to become a premium member at Therapy

1:22:16.040 --> 1:22:20.280
<v Speaker 2>Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link in

1:22:20.320 --> 1:22:25.760
<v Speaker 2>the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.

1:22:25.800 --> 1:22:28.360
<v Speaker 2>All right, I have nothing else to say.

1:22:28.840 --> 1:22:33.080
<v Speaker 8>Again, goes on the line, taking your phone calls every nine.

1:22:33.360 --> 1:22:36.519
<v Speaker 8>Deacon goes to his I. He's teaching you cloud in

1:22:36.600 --> 1:22:40.040
<v Speaker 8>the mean of your life. Money's not really an expert.