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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: All right, everybody ready for the fifteen minute morning show. Sure. Well,

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Speaker 1: earlier we were talking about lice, which I'm stretching my

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Speaker 1: head right now. It's not because I have lices, just

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Speaker 1: because I need a haircut. But I remember, like you

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Speaker 1: guys remember the lights checks in school? Right? Yeah? You

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Speaker 1: know somebody texted and said they don't do them anymore, Danielle,

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Speaker 1: do you know if they still do lice checks in school?

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Speaker 1: They don't want None of my kids have had them,

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Speaker 1: but I know that there was a life thing going

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Speaker 1: on last year, but I don't. I asked him, I said,

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Speaker 1: do they call you down to the office, And he

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Speaker 1: said they said, no, I don't know. They still do

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Speaker 1: it in our schools. Popsicle sticks, yeah, but tongue depressors

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Speaker 1: whatever you call them. Yeah, if somebody has life, they

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Speaker 1: check everyone else. Yes, okay, all right, so they still

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Speaker 1: do him. And I remember Jimmy Jennicky, he didn't come

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Speaker 1: back to class because he had lice. And I guess

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Speaker 1: you get called and like they call your parents to

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Speaker 1: come pick you up. Like how embarrassing is that? Like

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Speaker 1: that's like the child equivalent of like getting a d U.

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Speaker 1: I who do you think it's worse for the kid

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Speaker 1: or the parent, because the parent coming to pick Moe

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that little dirty bastards mine. But I don't.

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Speaker 1: I mean you're dirty that you have lice. There are

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Speaker 1: so many other ways to get in it. All the

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Speaker 1: ten year olds, Danielle apparently kids I'm saying scientifically, it

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Speaker 1: means that they're like, oh, you got the coolies. I

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Speaker 1: don't think that. I mean when I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: that was it. Everyone had. You had cooties if you

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Speaker 1: had lice, But I haven't. Don't pick on each other

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Speaker 1: now nowadays that they're picking on each other for so

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Speaker 1: many other things, I think lie is the last thing

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Speaker 1: they pick on each other. Four Can you get away

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Speaker 1: with lice? Now you know COVID he's only got lice.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, you want to say scotty um. Do they

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Speaker 1: still do the schooliosis checks? I remember the gym teacher

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Speaker 1: used to take take your shirt off and you have

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Speaker 1: to bend over in front of the gym too. I

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Speaker 1: don't think that was kind of weird. By the way

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Speaker 1: you were in church. Well, that also brings up the

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Speaker 1: topic of what's that embarrassing thing that you think back

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Speaker 1: on in school and you just still shake your head,

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Speaker 1: how embarrassed you were. I no, you go first, because

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Speaker 1: I want to go after. I remember I had apparently

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Speaker 1: stepped in dog shit and then walked into school to

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Speaker 1: the point where where I'm sitting in class, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, why is this smell like dog poop? And

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Speaker 1: I looked down and it's just like this big mound

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Speaker 1: of dog shit on my shoe. And I was so

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Speaker 1: embarrassed because I had tracked it into the room and

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Speaker 1: I had to walk around in my socks for the

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Speaker 1: rest of the day because the teacher wouldn't let me

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Speaker 1: wear my shoes. So embarrassing. I think back on that,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I still just cringe at myself. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: there are so many things that like at the time,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, nobody's gonna remember that. They'll forget it

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Speaker 1: in two weeks, and then you still totally remember Jimmy

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Speaker 1: Janetki never coming back. It's horrible. I was getting in

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Speaker 1: his hands. I'll tell you that one later. Oh, I'd

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Speaker 1: like to hear that one too. Um. I was getting

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Speaker 1: a math award in third grade and I didn't feel good,

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Speaker 1: and they were like going down the list and I

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Speaker 1: was the only girl that was getting one, and as

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Speaker 1: soon as they came to me, I had to get

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Speaker 1: up and run out of the classroom that was in

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Speaker 1: a mobile thing and puke everywhere. I puked all over

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Speaker 1: the rocks. It was disgusting, and the whole class I

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Speaker 1: just remember looking up, the whole classes like standing at

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Speaker 1: the door of the little mobile unit just staring at

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Speaker 1: me like are you okay? Should we call your parents?

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Speaker 1: I was like, mother, God, terrible? What? So I was

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Speaker 1: studying like crazy, and I was, you know, I was

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Speaker 1: one of the smarter kids in class, no surprise there,

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Speaker 1: and so I was really cocky. It's really cocky about it.

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Speaker 1: And so they had this rule that you had to

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Speaker 1: say the word, spell it and then say the word right.

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Speaker 1: And so I was all ready to go your first round.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna wipe the floor with these dumbasses. And they

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Speaker 1: get up there and they get on stage and they

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Speaker 1: go spell the word angry and I said a N

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Speaker 1: G R y and they said nope, thank you because

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Speaker 1: I didn't say angry, a M g R y angry.

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Speaker 1: So I went and I walked off the stage. I

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Speaker 1: was out in the first round, so f me, and

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Speaker 1: then they all remember remember when David Brodie didn't stay angry?

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Speaker 1: I remember, That's right, I remember. That's all that matters.

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the embarrassing part. Well, Danielle, you won't

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Speaker 1: do well in game shows, so like, all you didn't

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Speaker 1: do was say that part. You still spelled the right way.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, but I got kicked out of the contest.

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Speaker 1: I was so arrogant about I was gonna win, and

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Speaker 1: I was out in the first round to a smart person.

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Speaker 1: That's embarrassing. I gotta be honest. If I was one

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Speaker 1: of the other little kids, I would have been the

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Speaker 1: happiest kid in class when you got kicked out of

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Speaker 1: those assholes you see, daniel let's I'm talking about those

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Speaker 1: people were laughing at me. By was the spelling be

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Speaker 1: the jump off for the rest of your life of

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Speaker 1: just like you? Nope, I'm going to prove people right

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Speaker 1: from that moment? Was that the moment that that changed?

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Speaker 1: That's when I decided to stop being wrong? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: bet I bet your wife would beg to different that

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Speaker 1: you haven't been wrong since you'd have to pay attention

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Speaker 1: to me to understand that I was wrong. I have

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Speaker 1: two things you want pop of blood? Which one do

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Speaker 1: you want first? Which one came out first? I was

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Speaker 1: in first grade and the urinals in elementary school are like,

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Speaker 1: they're here, but they go all the way to the floor.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I mean girls don't know that,

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Speaker 1: but they go to the floor. And so I was

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Speaker 1: standing there with my pants around my ankles because that's

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Speaker 1: what little boys did, I guess, And as I was peeing,

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a ball came out, So I

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Speaker 1: pooped late. So you have to say that again because

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Speaker 1: I think for he said something over. Sorry, A poop

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Speaker 1: ball came out while I was peeing and it fell

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Speaker 1: on the floor, and then yes, okay, and there was

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Speaker 1: another kid there, so they called me duty head for

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Speaker 1: like the whole rest of the year. I hate the work.

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Speaker 1: I hate the word duty so much. In second grade,

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Speaker 1: I was such a kiss ass that if you wanted

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Speaker 1: to help wash the chalkboard, you had to be the

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Speaker 1: first to the sink to get the sponge. So I

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Speaker 1: ran to the sink and I slipped on water and

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Speaker 1: I bashed my nose against the sink and I was

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Speaker 1: bleeding everywhere. The first though and you get to I know,

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Speaker 1: I had to go to the nurse. Did they finally

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Speaker 1: stop calling you poopy head for that? Yeah? I guess

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Speaker 1: by second grade it changed to bloody be I don't know,

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Speaker 1: ye ha been in third grade, Scotty. In third grade,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be the one that to clean the erasers.

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Speaker 1: They used to have this machine and remember that thing,

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Speaker 1: and all the bag fell off and the chalk dust

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Speaker 1: went into my face and I was choking like a mother.

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Speaker 1: Grade okay, fourth grade. Fourth grade. The fourth grade is

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Speaker 1: when I faked being sick and I was in the

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Speaker 1: hospital for a week just to get out of school.

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Speaker 1: Fake it into the hospital. I never told this story,

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Speaker 1: do you have. I really did not like school in

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Speaker 1: fourth grade, especially going to jim for whatever reason. You know, Brodie,

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Speaker 1: I'm not all that. I'm just gonna play sports run

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Speaker 1: for the eraser. So I didn't want to go to

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Speaker 1: school because there was a test or something I don't remember.

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Speaker 1: And so what I did was before the bus would come,

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Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I gotta get out of

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Speaker 1: school today. So I would go into the bathroom and

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Speaker 1: as because I heard the bus point, I would take

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Speaker 1: a cup of water and I would go and pour

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Speaker 1: the water into the toilet, so it sounded like I

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Speaker 1: was vomiting, and I would just continuously vomit. And then

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Speaker 1: one night in bed, I just laid like soup hanging

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Speaker 1: out of my mouth with chew up crackers. I threw

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Speaker 1: up in my sleep. So I went up going in

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Speaker 1: the hospital for a week, And of course in the

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Speaker 1: hospital I didn't throw up at all, because I was

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Speaker 1: faking it the whole time. By the end of the week,

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Speaker 1: they realized that they were sending me home, and of

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Speaker 1: course I went into the bathroom when fake threw up,

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Speaker 1: but they knew that I was You know, what did

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Speaker 1: your parents? I took a week in the hospital for

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Speaker 1: a week. My parents were pissed. Yeah. Yeah, So something

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Speaker 1: every year in elementary school, okay, what are we up to?

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Speaker 1: Fifth grade or six? I don't remember anything after that,

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Speaker 1: is that when you met the Teddy Bear fifth grade,

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Speaker 1: I would be what like ten years old at that

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Speaker 1: around yeah, yeah, yeah, Teddy Bear came into play, probably

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Speaker 1: fifth That's when we open the bank account. I got

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Speaker 1: the free bear and he was mine and he learned

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Speaker 1: how to make up the cons your parents that you

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Speaker 1: were sick enough to be hospitalized. Yeah, that's expensive. No less,

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Speaker 1: did you go to the DOT like a normal doctor

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Speaker 1: first before the hospital to like check your most of it?

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Speaker 1: And they probably said, well we can't, we don't know

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Speaker 1: what's wrong. So I they admitted me. Yeah, mental hospital.

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Speaker 1: And at no point did you feel bad, Like, okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: I've been in the hospital for days. Now, let me know.

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Speaker 1: He didn't have to go to school. He was commission accomplished.

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Speaker 1: I was sitting there eating meat loaf, watching Fat Albert.

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Speaker 1: I was so excited. Wait, so, Scotty, what was the

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Speaker 1: game plan? What was the game plan? So you're in

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Speaker 1: there for a week already, like what was the endgame

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Speaker 1: for you? Like to have a game? At that point,

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Speaker 1: I was eight or nine. I had no plan. I

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Speaker 1: didn't no idea what was going on. I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is great. I don't have to go to school.

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Speaker 1: That's all I knew. Your parents are like freaking out

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Speaker 1: having panic attacks, and we could be wrong with it.

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Speaker 1: You're really sick. Nothing, that's terrible. Sorry he never yelled

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Speaker 1: at your kids again, you were worse. You're right. I

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Speaker 1: fake I fake ran away one time too. Remember what

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Speaker 1: great that was? In How did you fake it? No.

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Speaker 1: My neighbor was watching me in their backyard and they

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Speaker 1: the kid got into a fight with the mom whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I got scared, so I ran into the bushes

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Speaker 1: in front of my house and I just stayed there

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Speaker 1: for hours, and they went up calling the police and

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, and then I finally just walked into

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Speaker 1: the house. I was like, hey, mom, you know, and

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Speaker 1: and it was just it was a whole fiasco because

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Speaker 1: the neighbor was going nuts because she was responsible for

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Speaker 1: him and complaining about your daughter, Cooper. I am going

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Speaker 1: to say, karma is a bit. It's fun to watch

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Speaker 1: Mini Me try to get away with ship. Seriously, there

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Speaker 1: was no way, Scotty, You're in the will. Your childhood

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Speaker 1: was like a comic streng was like Calvin and Hobbs. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: damn Scottie. Okay, next, I just I just remember doing

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Speaker 1: theater in college and I was doing Dracula, and I

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Speaker 1: remember being on stage and there was a pair of

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Speaker 1: scissors next to us, and I picked up the scissors

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Speaker 1: to do my scene and it was real and I

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Speaker 1: cut my whole hand open and I'm on stage and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't stop, and real blood is dripping down my hand.

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Speaker 1: Like not the fake blood. You would pretend that, you know,

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Speaker 1: you got on the stage and it's dripping all the

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Speaker 1: stage and draculas keep we kept going me and at

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Speaker 1: the end like there was blood and I had it

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Speaker 1: was crazy, but it was like, but no one. I

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Speaker 1: don't even think anyone realized about me. I was embarrassed

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Speaker 1: for myself, but I don't think anybody a new audience

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Speaker 1: even realized. It just wasn't mess to clean up later on.

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Speaker 1: I might have told this on the air once. But

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Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I was in first grade

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Speaker 1: and we uh, it was my birthday and my mother

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Speaker 1: had bought a hostess cupcakes for everybody for my birthday

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Speaker 1: that we were going to eat after lunch. But I

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Speaker 1: ate a big lunch. We ran around outside on the

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Speaker 1: playground and you know, in the school yard, and I

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Speaker 1: was feeling kind of sick. And then there was it

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Speaker 1: was one o'clock. We came back into this you know school,

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Speaker 1: all sweaty in the classroom. They saying happy birthday to me,

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Speaker 1: and everyone started eating the cupcakes and I remember just

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Speaker 1: taking a bite and going like all over the floor.

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Speaker 1: I ran to the bathroom. I was I was horrified

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Speaker 1: for weeks it was. It was yeah, pretty yeah, you

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Speaker 1: know what they remember the kids, and the kids remember that.

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Speaker 1: They remember that right through the sixth grade until he

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Speaker 1: graduated pre school. So I went to you know, like

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Speaker 1: the Y m c A before kindergarten and pre Kane

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Speaker 1: all that. So and you would take the bus home. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I was still learning how to go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: So I would poot my pants from time to time,

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Speaker 1: and they would send it home with you in a bag.

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Speaker 1: They would send it home. They would send your underwear

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Speaker 1: home with you in a bag. But you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't know it out hold on the ball. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: it's still dirty. That's not the point of the story.

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Speaker 1: This is outrageous. Listen all right. So again, like I

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Speaker 1: told you, I took the bus home. After about a

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Speaker 1: week of this happening, I was not allowed to sit

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Speaker 1: next to the window anymore because I was scared to

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Speaker 1: bring home my dirty underwear. So I would throw it

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Speaker 1: out the window on the way home. And then how

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Speaker 1: many times did probably about a good week and change.

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Speaker 1: Damn again. You try to learn when when you're four

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Speaker 1: or five years old. Um, so, so the bus driver

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Speaker 1: had to, like you know, bus driver drops you off

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Speaker 1: how to pull my parents aside and be like, hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: he can't sit next to the window anymore. He's been

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Speaker 1: throwing his underwear out the window. Oh my god, but

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Speaker 1: when you go home, your mother doesn't go don't you

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Speaker 1: like your mother had the notice you don't want to

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Speaker 1: wear on when you get home? Well know you probably

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Speaker 1: there was probably back up, like I wasn't. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: free balling it. And at the y MC I had

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Speaker 1: to back up. It wouldn't be the first guy back up.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to sit

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Speaker 1: next to the window. Froggy has been very quiet about

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Speaker 1: his embarrassing on younger years. And I know the frog

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Speaker 1: because I got cold from doing dumb shit, like I

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Speaker 1: didn't really do embarrassing stuff, and it dumb stuff like

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Speaker 1: I forged my dad's name on on my report card,

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Speaker 1: and then I got away with it a couple of

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Speaker 1: times because my report card was bad, So then I

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Speaker 1: started having I was stupid. I had I forged my

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Speaker 1: dad's name on other kids report cards, but he wasn't

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Speaker 1: their dad, so we got caught like that, like why

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Speaker 1: is this man signing this kids report cards? But he's

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Speaker 1: not his father, but it looks real. My one forging story.

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Speaker 1: So I forged my dad's signature one in fourth grade,

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Speaker 1: I do believe, and the teacher, you know, sends it

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Speaker 1: home and like, we, you know, have your dad signed

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Speaker 1: it on top of where you're selling? Did? And I

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Speaker 1: remember it was who had the Bigfoot pizza? Or remember

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Speaker 1: was that pizza hut? It was like a big gigantic

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Speaker 1: so yeah, it was. It was Bigfoot. So it was

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Speaker 1: Bigfoot pizza to night. It was a Monday night. My

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Speaker 1: dad signs the paper, goes, what's this? I go, well,

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Speaker 1: I tried to sign it, takes the big Foot pizza

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Speaker 1: and throws it across the kitchen and goes, how dare

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Speaker 1: you tried to sign? All I remember is the Bigfoot

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Speaker 1: pizza And that was big. That was big, flying across

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Speaker 1: the kitchen. Oh my gosh, you know my brother did.

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Speaker 1: My brother is a computer graphics artist and he's so

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Speaker 1: good and it must have started way back in the

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Speaker 1: day because he used to have a fake report card

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Speaker 1: be sent home and he would get all these great

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Speaker 1: grades and blah blah blah. And then eventually my mom's like, Danny,

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Speaker 1: do you notice that the school emblem is not on

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Speaker 1: the top of this um. You know, I don't think

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Speaker 1: this is real, right, So we figured that out. And

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Speaker 1: then his biggest mistake was they were using typewriters back

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Speaker 1: then to like type the thing. He didn't. He thought

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Speaker 1: he gave himself too high a grade, so he raised

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Speaker 1: it and put a different grade, and you could see

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Speaker 1: that it was a raised and my mother is like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is not something is out there. And that's how

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Speaker 1: we finally got busted. But I can't even tell you

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Speaker 1: how long he must have been doing it for you.

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Speaker 1: Forget it, forget it. We are messed up. When I

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Speaker 1: was in high school, I used to cut school so

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Speaker 1: much that I was able to get into the office

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Speaker 1: and I stole a piece of letter head and I

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Speaker 1: typed a letter to my parents saying that there was

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Speaker 1: an error in the computer attendance system and if you

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Speaker 1: get any calls about absences, please disregard any questions. Please

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Speaker 1: call Miriam Schlack, attendant supervisor. Fake person. I made it up, Miriam.

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Speaker 1: I signed it, and I put a phone number that

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Speaker 1: I knew was a facts number in the school, so

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Speaker 1: it looked like one of their numbers. And they I

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Speaker 1: mean I told them years later and they got a

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Speaker 1: good laugh. But I mean the letters came home and

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Speaker 1: they never called anybody about it. Please give your son

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Speaker 1: Scott one d dollars today, I say, though, and I'm

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Speaker 1: sure all of you guys probably agree. The older I get,

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Speaker 1: the more I totally understand dad rage. I used to

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Speaker 1: think my dad just got mad about nothing. And now

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Speaker 1: when like Garrett talks about his dad chucking that pizza

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Speaker 1: across the house, I'm like, yeah, I woant have done

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Speaker 1: the same thing. Totally understand Dad rage. Now that was

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Speaker 1: the other thing. It just came. It just came home.

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Speaker 1: He's a bucket through the whole thing. You know what's

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Speaker 1: funny is my dad did that one time to my

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Speaker 1: mom and just baked a bunch of cookies, and I

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Speaker 1: did something stupid. My dad took the cookie sheet and

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Speaker 1: threw it across the kitchen. Fucking cookies went everywhere. The

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Speaker 1: dogs are eating him off the floor. We never ate

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Speaker 1: any cookies at all, Dad Rage. You know what else

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Speaker 1: my brother did? Wait, so he borrowed the car. He

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Speaker 1: didn't have his license. He was like, I don't a teenager,

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Speaker 1: and he decided to take my dad's car without telling

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Speaker 1: my dad, and he drove at some place, but the

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Speaker 1: dumbass when he got it back the farking spot that

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Speaker 1: my dad parked in, it wasn't available. The car in

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Speaker 1: a different spot, and I got totally busted because it

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Speaker 1: wasn't my dad's Like I didn't park my car here

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Speaker 1: with the box. I got pulled over. I got pulled

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Speaker 1: over at fourteen for driving my dad's Mercury Cougar because

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Speaker 1: I had a V eight didn't We would go into

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Speaker 1: an empty parking lot and burn the tires off and rubber,

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Speaker 1: and I got pulled over fourteen. My parents were out

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Speaker 1: of town for driving his cart. That dad rage once again.

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Speaker 1: It was a lot of dad rage after that one.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't see Scotty as being a

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Speaker 1: dad that has dad rage, but if he ever did,

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Speaker 1: I would have apple sauce on the ceiling from the

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Speaker 1: time that I forget Cooper did something. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: what it was, but I was so mad I threw

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Speaker 1: her cup of apple sauce and it's splattered on the

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Speaker 1: ceiling and some of it is still there. My father, Tony,

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Speaker 1: very very even keel guy. He had dad rage when

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't take a I didn't want to take a bath.

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Speaker 1: It was bath time. He literally lifted me up and

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Speaker 1: threw me in the bath my clothes on, picked him

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Speaker 1: up and threw him in the bath or something years ago.

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Speaker 1: The way I think we're over. We're way over. Show

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Speaker 1: perfect tomorrow, we are. We don't do it. We cut

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Speaker 1: it off right before we talk about Froggy abusing us on. No,

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Speaker 1: I threw it. I can remained the pool with all

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Speaker 1: of his clothes on one time. That's okay, that was nice.

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Speaker 1: It was funny. He got you back by you'll get

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Speaker 1: us back. They'll get us back, of course they will.

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Speaker 1: Hi The fifteen minute Morning Show