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Speaker 1: I remember one incident where one of my best friends

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Speaker 1: in school. One girl at school told him I was

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Speaker 1: talking bad about him, which I definitely was not doing.

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Speaker 1: That storms into the field, comes up to me, starts

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Speaker 1: punching me in the face. I'm on the floor, I've

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Speaker 1: got bruises all of my eyes, and I remember looking

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Speaker 1: back at that, I almost started to observe human behavior

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Speaker 1: early on. I'd say, where what is it that that

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Speaker 1: person's going through that's making them behave that way? Rather

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Speaker 1: than asking the questions why me, I think I started

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Speaker 1: looking at what's happened to them? Hey, everyone, welcome back

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Speaker 1: to On Purpose. I am so pumped that you're here

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Speaker 1: with me right now. I want you to take a

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Speaker 1: moment and just honor yourself, acknowledge yourself. I want you

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Speaker 1: to keep showing up for yourself, but I want you

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Speaker 1: to thank yourself when you do. And every time you

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Speaker 1: tune into on Purpose, you're appreciating yourself, You're investing in yourself,

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Speaker 1: You're growing yourself. Now. I interview a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: I love my solo episodes, but every now and again,

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Speaker 1: I like to share an interview that someone did with me.

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Speaker 1: I find out when people interview me. I get to

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Speaker 1: share more of myself. You get to learn more about me,

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Speaker 1: and some really fascinating insights come out that wouldn't come

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Speaker 1: out sometimes if I was planning a session myself or

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Speaker 1: scripting a session with myself. I find that when I'm

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Speaker 1: being asked questions, I'm connected to my intuition, I'm channeling more,

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Speaker 1: I'm in flow, I'm in the zone. So this is

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Speaker 1: one of those special interviews. It was with Mason and

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Speaker 1: Payment out of Mad Happy. If you know the brand,

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Speaker 1: love these guys. They did a great interview. I'm excited

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Speaker 1: for you to listen to this one. There's so many

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Speaker 1: insights that came out, like I said, that I'd never

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Speaker 1: thought of before, or I hadn't put into words. I

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Speaker 1: really hope you enjoy it. I can't wait. Well, thanks

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Speaker 1: for coming on, Jay. We like to start off every

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Speaker 1: episode with a prompt from our journal. Obviously, journaling is

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Speaker 1: like such a huge practice with so many mentalth benefits,

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Speaker 1: so we always like to start off the show with

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Speaker 1: that to kind of get us all on the same page.

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Speaker 1: Today's prompt which Payment wants or first? Then you go

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Speaker 1: and I'll close this out is what are you proud of?

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Speaker 1: Yourself for I think for me, just I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to use my phone less, especially at night, and I've

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Speaker 1: been doing a little bit better. I would say I'm

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Speaker 1: still not all the way there, but that's one thing

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself for. So yeah, what about you, Jay,

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Speaker 1: I'd say that the thing I'm proud of myself for

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Speaker 1: recently is I haven't seen my wife for around four months,

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Speaker 1: and I think we're so used to obviously during the

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Speaker 1: pandemic being together with each other every day. We loved

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Speaker 1: hanging out for like a solid two years. But she's

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Speaker 1: been working in London and I've been in LA and

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Speaker 1: traveling and we haven't been able to find time to

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Speaker 1: see each other. She's coming back in a couple of weeks,

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Speaker 1: which I'm excited to see her after that long. But

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Speaker 1: I'm really proud that. I'm proud of both of us

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Speaker 1: for having just communicated really effectively while being apart for

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Speaker 1: that long, and not having moments where we argued about

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Speaker 1: silly things, so we were able to understand if the

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Speaker 1: other person wasn't available when we were free. There's an

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Speaker 1: eight hour time gap between London and LA so it

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Speaker 1: might be around five months. By the time we've seen

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Speaker 1: each other, and I'm really proud that we've continued to

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Speaker 1: feel more in love and I miss like anything and

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Speaker 1: I just can't wait to have a back. Yeah, that's amazing,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy. That's a good answer. Yeah, for me, I

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Speaker 1: recently started working out for like the first time in

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Speaker 1: my life. I think physical activity and exercise has always

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Speaker 1: been kind of hard for me. I think because of

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Speaker 1: my ongoing depression, it's just hard to really like motivate.

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Speaker 1: And I went to the doctor for the first time

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Speaker 1: in a while and he said that I should start

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Speaker 1: to put onto muscle. So I've been lifting for the

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Speaker 1: first time. And I never felt like that guy or

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Speaker 1: really felt like masculine or strong in that way. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's really given me a lot of

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Speaker 1: confidence and has made me feel a lot happier and

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Speaker 1: payment gives me my workout, so so I'm grateful for

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Speaker 1: him for being my little pseudo trainer. But yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: proud of myself for keeping that up for a few

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Speaker 1: weeks now. Yeah, I love that I can relate to

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Speaker 1: that too. This was the first year that I really

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Speaker 1: started getting in the gym for physical health too, as

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Speaker 1: opposed to I love playing sports. Yeah, that's pretty much

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Speaker 1: what I've done my whole life. But this was the

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Speaker 1: first year, so I can very much relate to everything

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Speaker 1: you just said. Well, that's a great way to kick

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Speaker 1: it off. Jay, I'm wondering if you could give us

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Speaker 1: a picture of your childhood and your upbringing. We always

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Speaker 1: like to start there because so much of your early

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Speaker 1: lifehood life and childhood experiences shape your life. So curious

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Speaker 1: about your early life. Yeah, So I was one of

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Speaker 1: two kids. My parents were immigrants. They moved to London.

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Speaker 1: My mom moved from Yemen to London when he was sixteen.

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Speaker 1: My dad moved from India to London when he married

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Speaker 1: my mom, so probably he was probably in his like

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Speaker 1: mid twenties. And I went to a school in my

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Speaker 1: area which was pretty rough and tough. I was bullied

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Speaker 1: for being one of the only Asian kids school and

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Speaker 1: being overweight as well when I was growing up, So

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Speaker 1: I went through a lot of bullying, got beat up

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Speaker 1: a bunch of times. I'm talking about like when I

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Speaker 1: was like six seven years old through till about probably

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Speaker 1: about like yeah, about ten years old. At elementary school

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Speaker 1: or primary school as we call it, but what I

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Speaker 1: remember from that time is my mom just giving me

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Speaker 1: all the love in the world, working super hard, cooking breakfast, lunch,

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Speaker 1: and dinner, dropping us to school, picking us up, helping

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Speaker 1: me with my homework. Just I've I've always felt this

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Speaker 1: flood of love from my mom, and I think that

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Speaker 1: my capacity to love today comes from the fact that

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Speaker 1: I received so much love from her and still do

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Speaker 1: till this day. And my dad was more aloof and

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Speaker 1: disconnected from my life, and at the time it was hard.

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Speaker 1: You know, it was hard when I'd be at a

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Speaker 1: swimming class and I'd look up to see if my

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Speaker 1: dad was in the stands it he'd be like reading

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Speaker 1: his newspaper, or you know, completely uninterested. Or you know,

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Speaker 1: when I was playing rugby for my school and I'd

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Speaker 1: looked to the sidelines, but my dad wouldn't show up

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Speaker 1: to the games. And when I was growing up, I

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Speaker 1: think that affected me at the time, and I would think, well, look,

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Speaker 1: everyone else's dad's there, everyone else's parents are there. And actually,

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Speaker 1: as I grew up, I now feel a sense of

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Speaker 1: gratitude for it, because it allowed me to do what

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do for myself. And so now when

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Speaker 1: I look in hindsight, it's a different experience. But during

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Speaker 1: that time, I think I went through a lot of

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Speaker 1: common things that people go through, whether it's bullying, disconnection.

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Speaker 1: But the thing I remember most from my childhood is

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Speaker 1: my mum's love for sure. Yeah, And I'm curious, is

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Speaker 1: I actually immigrated to the US when I was six

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Speaker 1: from Italy and my parents are from Iran. They immigrated

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Speaker 1: to Italy and then to hear and I always talk

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Speaker 1: about just like that feeling of feeling different, and even

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Speaker 1: though you weren't an immigrant, I'm sure you felt that

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Speaker 1: and like probably internalize that through the bullying. Is that

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Speaker 1: how you were thinking about it growing up? Like damn,

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Speaker 1: Like why am I different? Like why is my skin

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Speaker 1: like this? Why is everyone like you know the same?

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Speaker 1: Like how are you thinking about that? At that time,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if I had the capacity to

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Speaker 1: ask those questions because I was so young, and so

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Speaker 1: now when I think about it, I almost feel like

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Speaker 1: at that time I just thought I didn't even ask

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Speaker 1: why is my skin or why is that? It was

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Speaker 1: just like why is this happening? Right? Like in general?

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Speaker 1: Or or like why am I going through this? And

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Speaker 1: I remember one incident where one of my best friends

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Speaker 1: in school. We were in grade four, so I would

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Speaker 1: have been like, well like seven years old or something

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Speaker 1: like that. And I remember that one girl at school

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Speaker 1: told him that I was talking bad about him, which

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Speaker 1: I definitely was not doing that. That's not the kind

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Speaker 1: of person I am. And he had a really short temper,

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Speaker 1: so he stormed in. This is my best friend at school,

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Speaker 1: storms in to the field, comes up to me, starts

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Speaker 1: punching me in the face. I'm on the floor, I've

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Speaker 1: got bruises all of my eyes. And I remember looking

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Speaker 1: back at that just thinking like wow, Like you know,

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Speaker 1: I almost started to observe human behavior. Eleon, I'd say

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Speaker 1: where I was like, wow, it's so interesting to see

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Speaker 1: how people get triggered. It's so interesting to see how

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Speaker 1: people act out of character when they're insert and scenarios

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Speaker 1: and situations. I thought, how incredible is it that? What

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Speaker 1: is it that that person's going through that's making them

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Speaker 1: behave that way? I think those were the questions I

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Speaker 1: started asking. So rather than asking the questions why me,

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Speaker 1: or why am I going through this? Or what's wrong

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Speaker 1: with me? I think I started looking at what's happened

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Speaker 1: to them, Yeah, right, Like what's going on with them

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Speaker 1: that's making them act that way with me? Because I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to be a good kid. I was teacher's pet,

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Speaker 1: I worked hard, I was well behaved, I followed all

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Speaker 1: the rules up until fourteen, And so for me at

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Speaker 1: that time in my life, it was more like, well,

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Speaker 1: what happened to them? Like what did they not have?

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Speaker 1: What structure do they they'll have? What support do they

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Speaker 1: not have that making them act in that way? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can relate to you with your dynamic with your parents.

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Speaker 1: I also kind of moved around a lot as a kid.

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Speaker 1: My biological father left me and my mother before I

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Speaker 1: was one years old, and then she remarried this man

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Speaker 1: who technically my stepdad but raised me as my dad.

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Speaker 1: And even growing up, I was so close with my mom,

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Speaker 1: and she really modeled what it was to show love

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Speaker 1: and care about people and like how to go about

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Speaker 1: your life. And my dad, who I found out later

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Speaker 1: that he was gay at the time, but like was

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Speaker 1: experiencing a lot of rage and like things that were

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Speaker 1: very confusing to me while he was dealing with his

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Speaker 1: own stuff and he wasn't that kind of model for

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Speaker 1: me was a bit more absent, like how you were explaining.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like the way that that's manifested for

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Speaker 1: me and my life has really been to be much

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Speaker 1: more kind of empathetic and sensitive. And like I said

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Speaker 1: at the beginning during the prompt, right, I growing up,

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Speaker 1: I never really felt like a man quote unquote or

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Speaker 1: I have a problem with anger. I've never yelled at

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Speaker 1: anyone in my entire life. Right, all these things that

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Speaker 1: I'm still unpacking, because it really was my mom who

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Speaker 1: was modeling the world for me and how to behave

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Speaker 1: I'm curious for you just with that dynamic between your

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Speaker 1: mother and your father, how you feel like that kind

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Speaker 1: of manifested into your adult life and like how you

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Speaker 1: grew your personality and way to see the world. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's such a great question, and thank you for sharing

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Speaker 1: your experience too. I really feel like it was similar

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Speaker 1: where my mom had this big heart, she was highly understanding,

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Speaker 1: very compassionate, very empathetic, and I think I adopted a

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Speaker 1: lot of those traits as well. And because I saw

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Speaker 1: her working hard, like you know, she was working a job,

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Speaker 1: she was the main breadwinner. She's taking care of me

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Speaker 1: and my younger sister, Like she's supporting us. I gained

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Speaker 1: so much empathy and compassion for women, mothers, people who

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Speaker 1: are just trying to make everything possible. And I also

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Speaker 1: saw that my mom was quite non judgmental and non critical,

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Speaker 1: and so I think I adopted some of those traits

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Speaker 1: as well, where I looked at the world for what

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Speaker 1: it was, and I didn't try and judge your place,

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Speaker 1: my opinion on to other people, but observed why they

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Speaker 1: behaved they were. I think my mum was highly forgiving,

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Speaker 1: and I think so I developed a great deal of

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Speaker 1: forgiveness and tolerance by again, like you said, mirroring her behavior.

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Speaker 1: And then of course there's the natural unlearning of certain

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Speaker 1: parts that don't work as well or that don't fit

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Speaker 1: so beautifully as well. And so I think what I've

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Speaker 1: learned is that you have to go through this journey

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Speaker 1: where at one point in life, you take stock of

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Speaker 1: the values that you practice and you have to ask

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Speaker 1: yourself two questions, where does this value come from? And

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Speaker 1: do I want to keep it? Do I want to

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Speaker 1: make it mine? Because most of our values are adopted

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Speaker 1: from our parents, our teachers, our friends, our family. And

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Speaker 1: so getting to that point of saying, well, what are

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Speaker 1: my values? Do I like them? Do I want them?

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Speaker 1: And do I want to keep them in my life?

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Speaker 1: And so I think when I started to make that transition,

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Speaker 1: that's when you start becoming your own person, and you

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Speaker 1: start to recognize that you know our parents and will

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Speaker 1: do the same when we become parents. Your parents give

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Speaker 1: you what I call gifts and gaps. Sometimes you're trying

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Speaker 1: to give you gifts and they're beautiful, and then some

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Speaker 1: of those gifts have gaps, and some gaps don't have

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Speaker 1: any gifts, and it's up to you in life to

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Speaker 1: fill the gaps, to repeat the gifts, to make the

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Speaker 1: gifts yours passed them along. And I think that's what

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Speaker 1: I've found most interesting about the journey of life, that

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Speaker 1: everything was designed for me to learn something specific, and

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Speaker 1: when I'm able to learn that, that experience now becomes

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Speaker 1: meaningful and a powerful part of my story. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: seems like you're pretty in tune with like yourself and

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Speaker 1: your emotions, especially as a child. And I'm curious, like

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Speaker 1: as you got older, right, Like mental health is not

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Speaker 1: something you think about when you're six, but you said,

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Speaker 1: like when you're fourteen, and I think you sort of

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Speaker 1: like misbehaving in class, And was that like the first

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Speaker 1: time that you like consciously remember like going through a

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Speaker 1: challenging time in your life, and can you paint that

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Speaker 1: picture for us? And then how that led to college

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Speaker 1: and beyond that. Well, I think I had this model

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Speaker 1: of life where I'm like, I've been a teacher's pet,

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Speaker 1: I've ticked every box, I've worked hard at school, but

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Speaker 1: I'm still bullied. I still deal with racism, and teachers

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Speaker 1: are still you know, picking on me or taking shots

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Speaker 1: at me, and it doesn't feel fair. And so it

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Speaker 1: was almost like, I've been good and that hasn't got

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Speaker 1: me anywhere. So let me be mischievous and silly and

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Speaker 1: playful and rebellious and see if that goes anywhere. And

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Speaker 1: so I think I was chasing a thrill, but I

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Speaker 1: didn't realize that the greatest thrill of life was purpose.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that at fourteen. And so at fourteen,

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Speaker 1: thrill came from being the class clown. It came from

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Speaker 1: being the class rebel. It came from being involved in

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Speaker 1: the wrong circles. It came from going against what your

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Speaker 1: parents say. It came from doing the opposite of what

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Speaker 1: was the right thing. To do, and so I think

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Speaker 1: that came from a sense of seeking purpose without me knowing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I would say that at that time, I wasn't

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Speaker 1: being myself. I was now playing up to be like

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Speaker 1: the people that I thought were cool, or that I

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Speaker 1: thought were the right people to imitate, or the people

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Speaker 1: that were ending, or the people that had influence or

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Speaker 1: cloud And so you spend your whole teens kind of

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Speaker 1: trying to mirror that person. I almost feel like zero

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Speaker 1: to ten you end up trying to be the person

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Speaker 1: your parents want to be, and ten to twenty you

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Speaker 1: try and be the person that your friends want you

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Speaker 1: to be, and then twenty to thirty you realize you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be either of those things, and then

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Speaker 1: hopefully in your thirties you start being the person who

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Speaker 1: want to be right. It's kind of like that's that's

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm stereotyped thin and simplifying, but I feel

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Speaker 1: like that's been the journey that I've been on at least,

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Speaker 1: and I realized that you have to go on that

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Speaker 1: journey in that way because you learn valuable lessons at

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Speaker 1: each steps. So for me, those teens were very much

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Speaker 1: me trying to be like people that I thought were

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Speaker 1: cool or respected and recognizing that that that didn't quite

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Speaker 1: have it either. Yeah, I had a similar experience where

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Speaker 1: I was really good at school. Even when I moved here.

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Speaker 1: I didn't speak English, but I learned it quickly, and

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Speaker 1: I was really good in school, And I think I

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Speaker 1: was bored with that in some ways, and like we're

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Speaker 1: still trying to like act with other people. So I

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Speaker 1: was doing like the class clown things too all the

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Speaker 1: way through like eighth grade. And it was funny because

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Speaker 1: the purpose thing you just brought up. I think I

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Speaker 1: could really relate with that, because like I got purpose

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Speaker 1: from like doing well in school and from like making

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Speaker 1: jokes and like people thinking I was funny and like

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Speaker 1: more of the external validation, which I think is like

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Speaker 1: pretty normal early on. I'm curious and then, like I

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Speaker 1: also had a similar experience where I went to undergrad

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Speaker 1: business school. I'm curious, like how you made that decision

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Speaker 1: and then eventually how that led to you like going

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Speaker 1: on that journey to becoming a monk, because obviously those

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Speaker 1: two things seem very opposite. Yeah, I think I did

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Speaker 1: what every sane person does after going to undergrad business school,

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Speaker 1: which is becoming a monk man. I'll explain it. I'll

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Speaker 1: track back to be honest, when I was in my teens,

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Speaker 1: the subjects that resonated with me most were art, design

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Speaker 1: and philosophy. Like, that's what I fell in love with,

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Speaker 1: and so I would spend more time at art class

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Speaker 1: and in the studio, and I would spend more time

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Speaker 1: on online on Photoshop, and you know, I'd going to

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Speaker 1: be working on art. It's what I fell in love

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Speaker 1: with and what I was attracted to. But then there

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Speaker 1: was still that voice inside my head that said art

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Speaker 1: is not a career, right, Design is not a career,

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Speaker 1: Philosophy is not a career. And because I'd had that

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Speaker 1: ingrained so deeply within me, I was like, well, then

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Speaker 1: I should go get a degree that has a career

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Speaker 1: behind it. I would say. In my teens, I didn't

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Speaker 1: know it was possible to be anything else apart from

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Speaker 1: a doctor, a lawyer, or a business person. Like I

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Speaker 1: almost didn't know, as silly as it sounds, I just

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Speaker 1: wasn't aware that there were that many careers beyond a

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Speaker 1: few set careers that had been laid out by friends,

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Speaker 1: family members, and people around me. And so I went

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Speaker 1: there honestly, just because I thought it would line up

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Speaker 1: a safe career opportunity. Now, when I went there, I

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Speaker 1: still realized that there were things I was more interested in.

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Speaker 1: So I got deep into behavioral science and I started

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Speaker 1: doing electives and arts and antiques markets, and like all

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Speaker 1: of my dissertations and thesis were all about fascinating subject

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Speaker 1: matters even though I was there. But I think the

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Speaker 1: most important thing that happened is I would go and

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Speaker 1: hear people speak. And this is before podcasts, right, this

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Speaker 1: is before podcasts, it's before YouTube. This is when you

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Speaker 1: actually had to go to physical spaces to hear people speak.

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Speaker 1: And it was before TED was big. TED was obviously around,

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Speaker 1: it just wasn't a big deal at the time. And

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Speaker 1: so I would go to my university to hear people speak,

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Speaker 1: or go into the city to hear people speak. And

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Speaker 1: I was invited to hear a monk speak by some

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Speaker 1: of my friends that had been getting involved in meditation

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Speaker 1: and mindfulness. This is back in two thousand and six,

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Speaker 1: so very early days, and I was just like, what

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Speaker 1: am I going to learn from a monk? Like I

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Speaker 1: was super skeptical, super cynical, didn't know what monks did.

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Speaker 1: Didn't know what value monks could add, but I made

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Speaker 1: my friends promise that we'd go to a bar afterwards.

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Speaker 1: Like that was my state of consciousness at the time.

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Speaker 1: My friends were highly persuasive, so they agreed, so we

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Speaker 1: went to this event. I'm thinking, I'm just gonna be

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Speaker 1: looking at the clock, trying to get out of this space.

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Speaker 1: And the opposite happened, where I was staring at this

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Speaker 1: monk as if he was the most beautiful woman in

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Speaker 1: the world, Like that's how fixated I was. And he

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Speaker 1: was wearing robes, he were you know, he was from India.

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Speaker 1: You know. It wasn't that there was anything externally attractive

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Speaker 1: about him. It was just that it almost felt like

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Speaker 1: I'd met someone who had the frequency and energy that

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know I was looking for. And this

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Speaker 1: is something that I really believe in that not everyone

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Speaker 1: needs to meet a monk, but I do believe today

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Speaker 1: that we rarely meet people of different frequency and different energy.

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Speaker 1: We followed the same people, we watched the same people.

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Speaker 1: We hear from the same people. The media covers the

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Speaker 1: same people, and we could hear deeper stories about those

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Speaker 1: same people, but we don't often hear those, So I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying that the same people are the issue. You

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Speaker 1: could hear deeper journeys and deeper elements of their background

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Speaker 1: and walks of life. All we need to be exposed

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Speaker 1: to new minds and new thinkers and people that we

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Speaker 1: don't recognize, because that's what gives you the opportunity to go, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's something out there that I know nothing about, but

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Speaker 1: I'm attracted to. And that's how I felt when I

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Speaker 1: met a monk. If you asked me, if anyone ever

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Speaker 1: said to me, Jay, you're probably going to become a

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Speaker 1: monk for three years of your life, I probably would

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Speaker 1: have thrown my beer bottle at them, right like. That

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Speaker 1: would have been, like you know, it would have been.

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Speaker 1: I would have laughed. I would have thrown at them.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt them. I would have laughed.

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Speaker 1: It would have been It would have been ridiculous, is

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Speaker 1: what I mean. It would have been, you know, preposterous

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Speaker 1: to imagine that that would be a path I would take.

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Speaker 1: But I got so attracted to him. And then during

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Speaker 1: my time at college, I was interning at investment banks

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Speaker 1: and consulting companies, and I was going to spend time

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Speaker 1: at the monastery in India, and so I did my

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00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:05,719
Speaker 1: first split test or a b test, and I realized

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Speaker 1: when I graduated that the life of living as a

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Speaker 1: monk was far more fulfilling than the life of working

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Speaker 1: in this city. So I turned out my corporate job

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Speaker 1: offers and I went and lived as a monk. And

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Speaker 1: it was because of two things. Two things were important

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Speaker 1: to me when I chose to become a monk. The

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Speaker 1: first is I wanted to understand how I could purify

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Speaker 1: my ego, master my mind and live a life where

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Speaker 1: I could actually manage my emotions. And I saw that

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Speaker 1: monks could do that, and I wanted to learn to

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Speaker 1: do that. I felt that that would be one of

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Speaker 1: the most valuable skills for myself and my experience of life.

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Speaker 1: And the second thing, and the reason I did it,

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Speaker 1: is because monks were serving, They were helping others, they

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Speaker 1: were contributing to society, and I thought to myself, that

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Speaker 1: seems like a worthy cause. That's what I want to

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Speaker 1: do with my life. So those are the two reasons

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Speaker 1: that that took me in that direction. I think that

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Speaker 1: the note of being of service is something that I

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Speaker 1: think about a lot. Being in sobriety and recovery. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: that's a huge part of the program. And I think

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Speaker 1: where I've found myself feeling the most fulfilled and the

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Speaker 1: most connected and really the most myself. And I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of what we try and do at Matt

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Speaker 1: Happy Too is obviously giving back and educating people and

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Speaker 1: sharing our own experiences to inspire other people to speak up.

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Speaker 1: And I think being of service is truly how the

432
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: life that I want to lead when I really think

433
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 1: about what makes me happy. And I was wondering if

434
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: you could just explain kind of what that monk was

435
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,120
Speaker 1: saying that day a little bit, and then almost what

436
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 1: life as a monk kind of looks like. I think

437
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 1: when I think of a monk, you know, I think

438
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 1: of just kind of like a Buddha on a hill,

439
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 1: like just like not talking all day, and like that

440
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,919
Speaker 1: might be what a lot of people think of it

441
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 1: as well. And what was it actually like And what

442
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: were those first things that you were hearing from him

443
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,719
Speaker 1: that were really kind of opening your mind? Yeah, he

444
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: was saying that the greatest thing that a human can

445
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 1: do is to use their gifts in the service of others,

446
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 1: that you use this life this body, this mind, this

447
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 1: heart that you have in order to improve the lives

448
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: of others. And you can only do that when you

449
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: learn to purify yourself of ego, of arrogance, of pride,

450
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 1: of elements in your life that block you, of envy,

451
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: of illusion, of these things that block you from serving

452
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:32,160
Speaker 1: people with a full heart. And that really deeply resonated

453
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 1: with me, because I could see people who are well intentioned,

454
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: but then their ego got the better of them. Well,

455
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 1: I could see people who wanted to do good in

456
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: the world, but then they couldn't take care of themselves

457
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: at the same time. And so those were some of

458
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 1: the things that resonated with me, And obviously I had

459
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 1: to spend more time with him. And there are different

460
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: monk paths, So what you just said about a particular

461
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 1: monk path, there are those paths. I chose this particular

462
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: path because it was about self and service. There are

463
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: a lot of paths where it is just about being silent,

464
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 1: so our mornings would be silent and our days would

465
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 1: be service, but a lot of parts will be fully

466
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: silent or fully serviced. And I chose this path because

467
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 1: I felt that both were important tracks in our life.

468
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 1: And so we'd wake up at four am every day

469
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: and mourning meditations collectively would be four thirty to five,

470
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: then five to seven would be individual meditation, then seven

471
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 1: till about eight to eight thirty would be a class

472
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 1: on the spiritual literatures, and then eight thirty would be breakfast.

473
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: And then from like nine thirty onward, it would be

474
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: a mix of daily chores, going out and building sustainable villages,

475
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 1: going and helping villagers with their daily tasks. It could

476
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: be going out and feeding the homeless or children at school.

477
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 1: So the day would be spent being with society and

478
00:23:55,520 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 1: being present with people who needed that support. And of

479
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 1: course there were elements where we would go on pilgrimage

480
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: and visit these five thousand year old temples and go

481
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: to these incredible places across India that you know, haven't

482
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: been visited or seen for thousands of years. Or it's

483
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: this beautiful thing that I read about recently which I'm

484
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: encouraging more people to experience. Scientists call it the or effect,

485
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: and or is something we all get to experience. We

486
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: experience it when we see a beautiful scenery, or you're

487
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: in nature, or like I'm saying, when you visit a

488
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: five thousand year old temple and always defined as when

489
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: you feel small but connected to something bigger at the

490
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 1: same time, so you feel really insignificant. You get to

491
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 1: experience humility but connectivity at the same time. Yeah, And

492
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 1: I got to experience a lot of that as a monk,

493
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: where you felt so tiny, but you felt so big

494
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 1: and powerful and capable. And I think that that juxtaposition

495
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: of ideology is is what we're all searching for. We

496
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: don't want to be big on our own alone on

497
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,959
Speaker 1: a mountaintop. No one wants that. No one who has

498
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: achieved success is happy being lonely at the top. Yeah.

499
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: And at the same time, no one wants to be

500
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: depressed and alone and left with nothing and feel like

501
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: they have nothing to offer the world. So I think

502
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: if we can all experience, or not just through external visuals,

503
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 1: but through the cultivation of that inner space of I'm

504
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 1: really tiny, but I'm apart of something really big, which

505
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: makes me really significant and insignificant all at the same time,

506
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: I think that's just a really beautiful place to live.

507
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 1: And I'd say that that's one of the key things

508
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: I learned during that time from an internal standpoint, Yeah.

509
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: As soon as you said that, I thought about the

510
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,719
Speaker 1: first time that I went to Yosemite and just like

511
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: standing in that valley and it was such a significant

512
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: artifact of I feel so small but so connected, and

513
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: I find myself with nature, especially because it's so kind

514
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: of mysterious and there's no answer for how this got

515
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: here or what it means or any of that. And

516
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: I feel like that's where I really feel the awe

517
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: effect so strongly, when there's not a clear answer. I

518
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: think that those are the most beautiful parts of life

519
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 1: to me, where I can feel the most connected, where

520
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: there's not like there's no right or wrong, there's no winning,

521
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: it's just it can't be explained, And like that's where

522
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,640
Speaker 1: the most kind of beauty I find is for me. Yeah,

523
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: I mean what you just sparked something for me. I

524
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: mean we are nature, and I don't think we observe

525
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: nature enough. I think we observe machines more than we

526
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,719
Speaker 1: observe nature, and so we are starting to think like machines,

527
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: i e. Productivity, goals, targets, list checks, systems, processes. But

528
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 1: we are nature. And if you look at a tree,

529
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 1: a tree has all different branches going off in different directions.

530
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,120
Speaker 1: It has roots getting nutrients. It sometimes is giving out

531
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: fruits and flower is sometimes it's shedding, and it doesn't

532
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: do that like a tree is not confused in autumn

533
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: or fall going why are my leaves falling? The tree

534
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 1: does that naturally. But if we go through a phase

535
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: in our life where we feel like we're shedding or

536
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: things are transitioning, we get scared because machines don't change. Right,

537
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: This microphone looks the same in January, and it looks

538
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: the same in December. But nature doesn't look the same

539
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: in January in December. And if we're in nature, then

540
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 1: that's more of what we're going to be like. But

541
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 1: we're trying to be like this microphone. We're like, I

542
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: don't want to change. I just want to remain the

543
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: same the whole time. And so I think there's so

544
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: much more than even or to be gained from nature,

545
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: where it's like we are nature. If we observe nature deeply,

546
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 1: we can actually flow and live life much more naturally

547
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: and simply than being attracted and attached to machines and machinery. Yeah,

548
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: you talk about, you know, the power of being able

549
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: to spend time along I think it's like something that's

550
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: like a lot harder. And even I talk about this

551
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: a lot, like even when I'm alone, I'm like listening

552
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: to a podcast or like doing something where it's like

553
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: you're not actually alone, just with your thoughts. And like

554
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: the challenge for me of just like driving home not

555
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: playing music or not. You know, it's always like so

556
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: hard for me, and I try to do it every

557
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: once in a while to just because I know it's

558
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 1: good for me, and it always feels good when I

559
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 1: get to my final destination because I obviously thought about

560
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: a lot of things that wouldn't have come up in

561
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 1: my own head without giving myself that space. So I'm

562
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: curious about your time as a month, because it seems

563
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: like the morning time was spent like being more by yourself,

564
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,199
Speaker 1: even if you're surrounded by others, and then the second

565
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: part of your day was like being around others and

566
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: like in service. So I'm curious like what you began

567
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: to think of that and the importance of spending time

568
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: alone in that process. Yeah, I think that's really fair

569
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: what you've said. We've made loneliness and being alone the

570
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: enemy since we were young. If you went to school

571
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: and you didn't have someone to sit next to you,

572
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: you were called the Lona, right. Or if you threw

573
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: a birthday party and not many people showed up, you

574
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: were considered unpopular, even though today as adults, if we

575
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: had five people show up to our birthday, we'd be

576
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: happy because we realize that that's probably the amount of

577
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: people that actually know us. If you get invited to

578
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: a wedding and you don't have a plus one, it's like, well,

579
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: you didn't bring a plus one. You didn't want to

580
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: bring someone. Right. Even now, when I haven't seen my

581
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: wife for a few months and I go somewhere, the

582
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: number one question I get asked is where's your wife? Right,

583
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: it's so abnormal for people to see people alone. And

584
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: there's an amazing author called Paul Tillick who writes that

585
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: there are two words in the English language for being alone,

586
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: but we only use one of them, so it's loneliness.

587
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: And he says there's another word, and it's called solitude.

588
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: And when we were monks, we were taught to practice solitude,

589
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: not loneliness or being alone. And so Paul Tillick writes

590
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: that loneliness is when you feel weak on your own

591
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: and solitude is when you feel strength when you're by yourself.

592
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: We've been getting so many amazing reviews for The Daily Jy,

593
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: my new daily guided meditation series on the car Map.

594
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: You might have heard a couple of snippets on the

595
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: podcast for a few weeks, so in case you haven't

596
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: had the chance to check it out, I just wanted

597
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: to share this review from Caitlin, an elementary school teacher

598
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: from New Jersey. He's what she had to say. I

599
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: have over nine years of experience in the American public

600
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: school education system, including teaching throughout the pandemic. Over the

601
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: past two years, I've seen extreme cases of anxiety and

602
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: my students like never before. Many of these children have

603
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: never experienced these feelings before, and most are not even

604
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: sure of what they are feeling. My school district has

605
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: spent a great deal of time focusing on social emotional

606
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: learning SEL through this school year. We try to teach

607
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: coping skills and focus on teaching kids how to deal

608
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: with their feelings and become the best version of themselves.

609
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: As someone who has also been experiencing the many anxieties

610
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: of the world today, I have recently downloaded the car

611
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: mapp thanks to my mom. My mom and I are

612
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: big fans of yours, and once she heard that you

613
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 1: will have seven minutes of Daily Jay each day, she

614
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: encouraged me in doing this. Your meaningful ideas and meditation

615
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: have quickly become part of my daily routine, so much

616
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: that I've begun incorporating some of them into my sel

617
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: morning meetings with my third graders. If you've ever wanted

618
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: to meditate with me, join me on the car map

619
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: for the Daily Jay, a daily guided meditation where I'll

620
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: help you find calm in the chaos, plant beautiful intentions

621
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: for a happy, abundant life, and simple steps for positive

622
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: actions to get you closer to the life of your dreams.

623
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: Meditate with me by going to Calm dot com forward

624
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Speaker 1: slash Jay to get forty percent off a Calm Premium

625
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626
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: for a daily guided meditation experienced the Daily Jay only

627
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: on Calm. What I find is really fascinating about solitude

628
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: is that it's a time in your life where you

629
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: get to make sense of your own thoughts, your own feelings,

630
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: and your own emotions. Most of the time we're using

631
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: other people as sounding boards for our thoughts, our emotions,

632
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: and our feelings. Now, that is healthy in therapy, that

633
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: is healthy in coaching, that is healthy in conversations like this.

634
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: But we also need time and space to do that

635
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: with ourselves, to refresh, to recalibrate, to resynchronize with ourselves.

636
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 1: That's what solitude allows you space to do. Solitude also

637
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: allows you to hear your inner voice. If you're only

638
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: always listening to music or TV or shows, that voice

639
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: becomes your voice, or that noise becomes your voice, and

640
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: you lose the ability to check in with yourself and go,

641
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: how does that feel for me? So often when I'm

642
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: in solitude, and when we were monks, it was the

643
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: idea of could I sit with a thought and genuinely

644
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: discover how I feel about it at the core, regardless

645
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: of how everyone else feels about it. And you can

646
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: only do that in illness and silence. You can't do

647
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: that when you're constantly surrounded by lots of people, and

648
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: so we've never been trained to do that. We've been

649
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: made to believe that you'll be happier, you'll be more

650
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: social when you're around people, which is true. But what

651
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: I find is that if I want to make my

652
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: mind up about something, I find it, you're much more

653
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: likely to hear your inner voice and nowhere to be

654
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: guided by learning that practice. I'd say everyone has that

655
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: loud voice in their head when they're young, and we've

656
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: drowned it out or pushed it aside so much that

657
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 1: it's got quieter and quieter and quiet. When someone says, Jay,

658
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: I don't hear that voice, I don't hear myself, it's

659
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: because it was so loud when we were young, when

660
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: it was like, don't do that, do that, try this,

661
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: don't hang out with that person, do this, You don't

662
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: need to do that. We just went no, no, no no, no, no.

663
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this because I think it's the

664
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: right thing, or I think it's cool, or I think

665
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: it's the thing I'm meant to do for me, Solitude

666
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: is about building that habit of asking yourself, how do

667
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 1: I feel about this, what's important to me, what's meaningful

668
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: to me? What do I truly want to pursue without

669
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: the noise, without anyone else's voice or opinion. Yeah, for

670
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: me and P I'm curious how you feel about this?

671
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: Like I feel like as i've gotten older, and we've

672
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: grown this business, and I've gotten into a relationship, and

673
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 1: I have five brothers and sisters. Like anytime I'm expressing

674
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: myself for making a decision or thinking, it's almost impossible

675
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: for me not to consider these other people right, or

676
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: like well, how's it going to make my girlfriend feel?

677
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: Then what are my business partners going to think of me?

678
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: Than like what about my siblings? And just like all that,

679
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: And I find it really difficult as I get older

680
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: and there's more kind of stakes and pressure of life

681
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: to be able to really be selfish in that way

682
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: and like make a decision just for myself and not

683
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: really worry about anybody else because it could potentially have

684
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: such a direct impact on so many others. You know, Well,

685
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 1: I want to respond to that because I think that's

686
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: a healthy trait that you have, and I wouldn't discourage that.

687
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: So to give a nuance to what I said, I

688
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: think it's less about even making the decision, but it's

689
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: about being aware of what it is that you want

690
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: a need, yeah, and then being able to process the

691
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 1: discussion on the outer layers of who else is involved,

692
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: rather than what we do is we usually ignore are

693
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 1: completely unaware of what we need. Yeah, and then we

694
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: just avoid it. Right, So I agree with you. I

695
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: think what you're sharing I actually find beautiful and wonderful.

696
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: I think it makes someone a wonderful human when they're

697
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: aware of other people's needs and other people's concerns and interests.

698
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: But I think you can't be fully yourself in that

699
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 1: if we're not aware of the first thing is what

700
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: I meant. So thank you for sharing that because that

701
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: helps me contextualize a little more for sure. Sorry, I

702
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: wanted to hit from you as well. Yeah, I'll go Aheady,

703
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: it's a good thing you just brought up. You know,

704
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 1: I started going to therapy the last January, which I

705
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: always talked about on this show, and it's been very

706
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: informative for me because my therapist is like the science

707
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: side and like the spiritual side, which I found amazing.

708
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 1: And you know, he's like a big meditator, talks a

709
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: lot about the energy stuff that you brought up earlier, Jay,

710
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: And I think for me, when Mason just brought it up,

711
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 1: I was thinking, oh wow, like I only think in

712
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 1: the way of like me and everyone else versus like

713
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: just me first, which I think like could be a

714
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: very valuable skill to develop and just see like how

715
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 1: often that is the same decision I would have made

716
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: otherwise versus not, you know, and like I could still

717
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: keep going with that decision. That's more the middle ground

718
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: for now. But I think the awareness piece, like you said, Jay,

719
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: is the most important part. We just think of life

720
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,879
Speaker 1: is like yes and no black and white this or that. Right,

721
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 1: It's very binary. So it's like I either focus on

722
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 1: myself or I focus on everyone else. And actually life's

723
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: more like that logo behind you where it's circles yea,

724
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: And so you have you, then you have your family,

725
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: then you have your friends, then you have your community,

726
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 1: and then you have your podcast audience, and then you

727
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: have the wider world. And life's more like that. So

728
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 1: life isn't either role. It's almost like starting from this

729
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: central point and then cascading and emanating outwards, right, And

730
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: so I think the challenges we've been brought up to

731
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 1: believe that it's binary, and it's not binary. It's almost

732
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: like concentric circles that keep expanding out and that energy

733
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: that's created within is is going to move outwards. Yeah,

734
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Like I know that after a few years,

735
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 1: you decided to leave the monastery reenter society, and at

736
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: the time, like, how are you thinking about one? How

737
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: do you make that decision? But too, how are you

738
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 1: thinking about like what your life? You know, what was

739
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: in store for your life? Because I imagine before, you know,

740
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: you had a different view of like success and like

741
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: happiness and life. So how did you come to that decision? Yeah,

742
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: I think leaving was I've always described it as one

743
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: of the hardest decisions of my life, because you know,

744
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 1: when I became a monk, it wasn't this celebratory thing.

745
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: It was like, you know, most my extended family were like,

746
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 1: you're never going to make money again, You're never going

747
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,959
Speaker 1: to get a job again, You're never gonna no one's

748
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: ever going to date you again. Like you're committing career suicide.

749
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 1: Like you've been brainwashed. Like you're wasting away your parents'

750
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: hard work, you're wasting away your education. Like it wasn't

751
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: I didn't become a monk under like happy circumstances. I

752
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: became a monk against the grain. I had friends who

753
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: didn't understand my decision and didn't want to talk to

754
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: me anymore because they didn't understand what I was trying

755
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: to do. They were just like, you've changed, and you

756
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 1: know now we can't talk about the same thing, so

757
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: we have nothing to talk about. So I lost friends

758
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 1: from that decision, and so when I left, I was like,

759
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: was everyone right? And the decision I left for was

760
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 1: actually that spending time as a monk gave me so

761
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: much self awareness that I realized I wasn't meant to

762
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: be a monk, that I wanted to share what I'd learned,

763
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 1: that I wanted to pass it on, that I wanted

764
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: to speak about it in lots of interesting, exciting ways.

765
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 1: I wanted to pair it up with science because I

766
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: loved the behavioral science growing up, and so I had

767
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: all these ideas of how I could help people who

768
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: came from the same backgrounds and walks of life that

769
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: I did. And I recognized I was like that desire

770
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: wasn't a monk desire in terms of the journey of

771
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: a monk. And so that's like one of the hardest

772
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: things where you feel like you left everything to get

773
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: married to the love of your life. I either part

774
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: of being a monk, and now you go, a wait

775
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: a minute, but that doesn't make me a monk, I

776
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 1: might need to break up or get divorced, and that's

777
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: what it felt like. It felt like a divorce. And

778
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: I remember that my teachers saying to me as well

779
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: that they felt I could share what I'd learned better

780
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: if I moved on. And that was a really stressful,

781
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: pressurized situation because I now moved back to London to

782
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: my parents' home, aged twenty six, and I was in

783
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 1: twenty five thousand dollars worth of death eighteen thousand pounds

784
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: roughly at the time. I hadn't had a job for

785
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: that amount of time, so I had no work experience.

786
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: All my friends were like getting mortgages, you know, dating

787
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 1: and serious relationships or growing. They were doing well in

788
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 1: their careers, they were getting promoted, and I'm coming back

789
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: with nothing to offer. Then I applied of forty companies

790
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,280
Speaker 1: and get rejected by every single one of them before

791
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 1: an interview because surprise, surprise, no one wants to hire

792
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 1: a reform a monk. Right, They're like, what are your

793
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: what are your transferable skills like sitting still and being silent?

794
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: We don't need that. So I'm almost like, oh, my gosh,

795
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 1: was everyone right? Everyone was right? I did waste my life.

796
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 1: I did mess up, you know, and so it was

797
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: a very And again I didn't know who the Prime

798
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 1: Minister of England was, I didn't know who won the

799
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: old Cart, and you know, I hadn't listened to music

800
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: or a TV show, like, I didn't know how to

801
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 1: do small talk anymore. Imagine, imagine you haven't done small

802
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: talk for three years, like you literally yet how to

803
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 1: have a conversation, Because so I was. I felt really

804
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: out of touch. And on top of that, my health

805
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: had taken a hit because as a monk, I'd been

806
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: like practicing all sorts of fasts and crazy meditations and

807
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 1: my health was quite depleted. So I was also low

808
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: on you know, from a physical point of view, and

809
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: we all know that that can massively impact you from

810
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: a chronic fatigue point of view and even depression, and

811
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: so I was in quite a difficult space. And so

812
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: leaving was Yeah, leaving was one of the most toughest

813
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: things I've ever done. And it's only all in you,

814
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,439
Speaker 1: like it was all for me. But yeah, it wasn't

815
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 1: easy at all. Yeah, and then after that, I guess,

816
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 1: what was the moment where you kind of got back

817
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: on the horse so to speak, or like kind of

818
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 1: had your first big break of realizing, all right, there's

819
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: something here and I can kind of take what I've

820
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 1: learned and really build something out of this. So it

821
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: took ten months when I left to get a job.

822
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: I took ten months of applying, being unemployed, figuring it out,

823
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 1: living in my parents' home. It took ten months to

824
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 1: get a job. And those ten months included the first

825
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: month I just didn't do anything at all, And then

826
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: the next nine months I was waking up and meditating again,

827
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,280
Speaker 1: practicing everything I learned as a monk, going to the library,

828
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: reading books about business, studying philosophy again, trying to just

829
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 1: get back into the world. And I remember ten months later,

830
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: I went to this I got this job. Finally. I

831
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,760
Speaker 1: went to this networking event at the beginning of the job,

832
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: and I remember that activity was pizza making, so it

833
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,920
Speaker 1: was like pizza making groups so you can network and connect.

834
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: And I was like, what am I doing here? Like

835
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: it was the biggest culture and I was like what

836
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 1: am I doing? Like I didn't know what to wear.

837
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: I was like, is this too? There was like, you know,

838
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 1: it was like business casual, and I almost I was like,

839
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, what do I wear? Like what's in today,

840
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,280
Speaker 1: what's not? And that was the moment when I started

841
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: that job, I realized something really important. I realized that

842
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: I wasn't five years behind everyone. I realized that I'd

843
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 1: learned lessons that put me ahead. And when I say ahead,

844
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: I don't mean ahead of others. I meant ahead in

845
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: my own understanding. And so even though I was twenty

846
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 1: six and everyone who started that job was twenty one,

847
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 1: I was like, no, the lessons I learned is a

848
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: monk are going to be my armor. They're going to

849
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: be my strength. So now let me recognize how to

850
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: apply this. So I've always realized that my life became good.

851
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,280
Speaker 1: That moment changed when I started applying everything I'd learned

852
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: rather than trying to push it away. And I think

853
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: you talk about this idea of like conscious capitalism, which

854
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: I think in many ways, like very much is aligned

855
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 1: with what we're doing, because, like we always say, like,

856
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: we're a business, and we hope through having a successful one,

857
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: we can make a big impact in the world. We

858
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: could spread awareness, raise money for mental health, all of

859
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 1: those sorts of amazing things. I'm curious how you came

860
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: to that realization. Was that sort of like the bridge

861
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 1: of your earlier interests. How did you come to that? Yeah,

862
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 1: that's a really great question, and I'm glad we're talking

863
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,280
Speaker 1: about it, because I think spirituality and money or often

864
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: uncomfortable conversations for me what I have, And I would

865
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: say it was an uncomfortable situation for me because when

866
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: I started what I was doing, I honestly started with

867
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 1: the intention of I just want to help people. I

868
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: just want to serve. I'm just going to create stuff

869
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: that's going to improve people's lives. And as I started

870
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: to do that, I realized that if I wasn't able

871
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 1: to create a business or a venture, I couldn't create

872
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 1: structures to scale, amplify, grow both the message or a

873
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 1: team of people that also get to live their purpose.

874
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: So today, when I've been able to connect and synchronize

875
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 1: those two worlds of spirituality and business or conscious capitalism,

876
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: as you said, you start recognizing that, oh, actually, I

877
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: can do more good with money and use money for

878
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: more good. That includes living a life for myself that

879
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: allows me to live in abundance, creating jobs and opportunities

880
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 1: for other team members who now get to live in

881
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: a purpose led organization. Like everyone who works with me

882
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 1: on my team loves what we do. They believe in

883
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 1: mental health, they believe in conscious business. They want to

884
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 1: create opportunities and products and businesses and content to help people.

885
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: So now you've got all those people who are helping, right,

886
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: and then on top of that everyone else who gets

887
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: to be impacted. So for me, I recognize that if

888
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: I lived in a world where I didn't connect spirituality

889
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 1: in business or impact in business, then what would end

890
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 1: up happening is I would have enough for me. But

891
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 1: then I wouldn't be able to scale, grow, or make

892
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: a difference in the world to the extent that I

893
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 1: wanted to. And so I had to rewire my relationship

894
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: with money because I grew up in a family where

895
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 1: we always had enough. So I grew up plenty of

896
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: days in my life, months, years, having zero dollars or

897
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: zero pounds in my bank account like consistently, and I

898
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: always had just enough. And when I started to realize

899
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: that just enough is fine for you, but what about

900
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 1: all the people you want to serve and create opportunities for,

901
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: It's been fun figuring it out, and I'm still figuring

902
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 1: it out and I think you have to be you know,

903
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: careful with it. But you know, last year, this was

904
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things. Last year, my wife and

905
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: I read a statistic that you know, one person was

906
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: I think dying from COVID every five minutes in India.

907
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: It was it was pretty bad. And we decided to

908
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 1: organize a fundraiser within twenty four to forty eight hours

909
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 1: with all of our friends and community and you know

910
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 1: amazing people that we had that supported it. And you know,

911
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: we had like everyone, like you know, Sean Menders got

912
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 1: involved and Ellen got involved, and then we led this

913
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: online fundraiser and our audience deliver it and we've raised

914
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 1: like across twenty four hours, literally twenty four to forty hours,

915
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: we raised five million dollars. That event costs like fifty

916
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: to sixty k to put on online production all that

917
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I was just thinking, like, we

918
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: would never been able to do that, and I just

919
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: felt so grateful. I mean, that was nothing. I mean,

920
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: you know, India had far more challenges than five million

921
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 1: dollars could solve, but I just felt grateful that that

922
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: made me feel like, this is what we were able

923
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 1: to do because of everything else that existed. Yeah, I

924
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 1: think this like notion of like money can actually do good.

925
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 1: I think people are just like not as open to

926
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: it right now, and that's fair. I think everyone has

927
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 1: their own relationship with it. But I think some of

928
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 1: the companies who have made the biggest differences, like a

929
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: Patagonia for example, like they've done very well as a

930
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: business to be able to give back more and more

931
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 1: every year to make the planet a better place to

932
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: live for everyone. And so I think it definitely is possible,

933
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 1: and it seems like you're doing a great job of it.

934
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 1: So Congress, Well, no, I think I'm trying, I'm learning,

935
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: I'm growing, I'm trying to figure it out. And it's

936
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 1: definitely my tension, like it's intention and action is there,

937
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,799
Speaker 1: Like it's what we believe and it's what we want

938
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, we worked. We've worked very closely with

939
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 1: Pencils of Promise, which builds schools across the world right

940
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: to provide education. And I've worked with them consistently over

941
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: the last few years, and we've provided education for thousands

942
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 1: of children across the world. Like stuff like that gets

943
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,839
Speaker 1: me so excited, and I'm like, yes, because of our

944
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,439
Speaker 1: platform because of our this is what we get to do, right,

945
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 1: So it's almost like you have to do all these

946
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: things that you have to do to get to do

947
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: what you want to do. And I think we live

948
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: in a world where we only want to do what

949
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: we want to do, and often isn't that easy? Often?

950
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: You like, you know, I interviewed Matt Damon recently on

951
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: the podcast on my podcast on Purpose, and he's been

952
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 1: directing all of his profile and energy and passion to

953
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 1: providing clean water and access to water and sanitized water

954
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: to people across the world. Like that's what he's directing.

955
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: His brand is fame is popularity too, and I think

956
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: it's incredible right to see that. So there's a lot

957
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: of people that I admire in this space. One more

958
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 1: question I had going back to the ego thing. I

959
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 1: know you said that was one of kind of the

960
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: first principles that really drew you to the monk during

961
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 1: that conversation. Obviously, you can't explain it in a short

962
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: amount of time, and it takes a lot of work,

963
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 1: But what are sort of the practices and the steps

964
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: to really being able to work on quieting your ego

965
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: and kind of diminishing that in a way to be

966
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 1: more of service and live a life more for others,

967
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's a real struggle for me.

968
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 1: And obviously it sounds very easy and peaceful to say,

969
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 1: but in practice, what are some of the tangible steps

970
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: that that actually looks like? Well, I think what I

971
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 1: might say, or at least the step one might sound

972
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: kind of counterintuitive, but ego is fed. The ego is

973
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: fueled by validation and the chasing of validation and clout

974
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: and external or people things making us feel good about ourselves, right,

975
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:08,400
Speaker 1: and to really the first step to taming the ego

976
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 1: is self validation, is learning to validate the things you

977
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 1: love about yourself, appreciate about yourself, acknowledging your own weaknesses,

978
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: acknowledging things that you're working on. The antidote to ego

979
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 1: is honesty, because the ego lives in a lie and

980
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: an amplified version of self, whereas true living is in

981
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: living an honest life of these are my weaknesses, these

982
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: are my strengths, these are my flaws, these are my skills.

983
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: And I think we're scared we actually think ego means

984
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: I don't even think I have skills. I don't even

985
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,080
Speaker 1: think I have anything to offer, and that's actually not true.

986
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 1: The truth is saying I do have these skills, and

987
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: I also have these challenges. I do have these strengths,

988
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: and I also have these weaknesses. That's how you start

989
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 1: breaking down the ego, because what's really tricky about the

990
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,280
Speaker 1: ego is it can make you feel like the best

991
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: of the best. It can make you feel like I'm

992
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: the best in the world, and it can do the opposite.

993
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 1: It can make you feel like you're the worst in

994
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: the world. It's just inverted the ego and so and

995
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 1: neither of those are true. You are not the best

996
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 1: in the world, right me included all of us. And

997
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 1: you're not the worst in the world either, because no

998
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 1: one's the best of the worst. We're aldest humans with

999
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:27,720
Speaker 1: complex emotions, and so acknowledging and embracing your complexity and

1000
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: the juxtaposition of things that you end up becoming is

1001
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: the first step in order to purify your ego, because

1002
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: you're honestly embracing and accepting yourself. Yeah, my last question

1003
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: that Mason will ask the two questions we ask everyone.

1004
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: But if you know you said you know zero to ten,

1005
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: ten to twenty twenty to thirty thinking now back to

1006
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 1: your thirty year old self, like one bit of advice

1007
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 1: that you would give yourself if you could go back,

1008
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: what would it be if I could go back to

1009
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: what age to your thirty year old self? Okay, so

1010
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 1: I'm thirty four right now, So I guess not that

1011
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 1: more years. I guess that's not that much time. But

1012
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: still yeah, no, four years ago. I feel like, I

1013
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: think it's always been trust your inner voice, like, trust

1014
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,879
Speaker 1: your intuition, you know, trust your gut. Don't get distracted

1015
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 1: by shiny things, new things, other people's opinions, expectations, obligations. Yeah,

1016
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 1: just just you know, trust, trust what you always wanted

1017
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 1: to do. It's always good advice. Pee, What would be

1018
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: your advice to your twenty year old self? Yeah, I

1019
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 1: mean I think it was pretty pretty dead on Jay

1020
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 1: when you said earlier, just like zero to ten, it's

1021
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 1: like more parents, ten to twenties, more friends. I think

1022
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: when I was twenty was when I was first starting

1023
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,240
Speaker 1: to like begin to think for myself and less about friends.

1024
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 1: I always think like the first few years of high

1025
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 1: school and the first few years of college, I was

1026
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: still getting acclimated. So it was more just like doing

1027
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: things because like it made me fit in more. And

1028
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: I think towards the end of college just just starting

1029
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: to like branch out on my own more. And I've

1030
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: done more of that each year. So I would just

1031
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: again tell myself to like, don't be afraid to start

1032
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 1: that earlier. I think, like I thought I had to

1033
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: follow this path. I went into banking before we started

1034
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 1: this also, and a lot of that was just following

1035
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: a path instead of like understanding what I wanted to

1036
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: do for myself. And I think I understand that more

1037
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 1: and more each year now. So I feel good about

1038
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 1: that now at twenty eight, and hopefully I can keep

1039
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 1: that up. Good. All right, Jay, Our final two questions.

1040
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: The first is if you could nominate anyone to come

1041
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 1: on the Mad Happy podcast who's been a big inspiration

1042
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: for you or who you feel like has a really

1043
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,319
Speaker 1: powerful mental health story or journey, whether you know them

1044
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: or not, who would it be. I think what Simone

1045
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 1: Viles did. I don't know her, but I thought what

1046
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 1: you did in sport last year was pretty credible, and

1047
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: Naomi Osaka as well, Both of them like for what

1048
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 1: they did in terms of sports and performance and mental

1049
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 1: health again, don't know either of them, but I think

1050
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: they would be totally. Yeah, definitely two two leaders in

1051
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,799
Speaker 1: the space that are that are huge inspirations for us.

1052
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: And and finally, Jay, what makes you mad happy? I'm

1053
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 1: going to give an answer that hopefully it is less

1054
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: predictable football soccer. I'm a massive ninety United fan, playing soccer,

1055
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 1: playing FIFA, being on a soccer field, watching a game

1056
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: of soccer, like anything soccer related makes me mad happy.

1057
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 1: Did you catch that Madrid come back on the other day?

1058
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,759
Speaker 1: I did, I did, highlight didn't what's the game that

1059
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:32,919
Speaker 1: was inane? Yeah? I love those moments. I love those

1060
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,279
Speaker 1: moments of comebacks on the Yeah. Yeah, you talk about

1061
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: an affect like being in that crowd. That's an affect

1062
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: right there, Kelly. That's mad happy for Jay. Thank you

1063
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: so much. We really really appreciate you coming on. I

1064
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 1: know that our audience will love this one. We love

1065
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 1: it and thank you for everything you do. We listen

1066
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 1: to a lot of the podcast episode, so keep it

1067
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 1: all up and hopefully next time we'll do it in person. Definitely,

1068
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 1: I'd love to meet you both from person. Congrats on

1069
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: everything you're doing with the brand, and I'm so grateful

1070
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 1: to have been on. Thank you to your amazing community

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Speaker 1: who's listened to today, and I really look forward to

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Speaker 1: hanging out more man. Thank you so much to both

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Speaker 1: of you, and congrats on everything you're doing. Thank you likewise,

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Speaker 1: thank you everyone, Thanks guys, Thank you so much. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for listening to my conversation with the guys,

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Speaker 1: are mad happy? I really hope you enjoyed it, And

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Speaker 1: just thank you so much for all the reviews that

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Speaker 1: are coming in. I hope you saw me posting a

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Speaker 1: ton of them to my stories on Instagram. And if

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Speaker 1: you don't already follow us on TikTok as well, make

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Speaker 1: sure you do because we're posting a lot of great

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Speaker 1: clips from the video episodes on TikTok. Thanks so much everyone,