Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision? What up?
Speaker 2: Y'all?
Speaker 3: Welcome to another motherfuckering episode of horrid Blaed the Yons.
Speaker 3: I'm your girl, man d aka pet Design aka for
Speaker 3: Court Pumps a k A.
Speaker 1: Debt Beach. We should call you blonde something. I want
Speaker 1: to blind way blond. You said blond banded. I'm a
Speaker 1: booty banded bitch.
Speaker 3: Maybe platinum, platinum, pusty, but I'm trying to make it
Speaker 3: sound good. You know these names got a hit, Bro Platinum, Platinam,
Speaker 3: Peggy Platinum, Peggy M. I like Peggy Bundy better. But
Speaker 3: you know we were gonna We're gonna, y'all help me
Speaker 3: with smoke. A kas uh celibate queen can be one. Uh,
Speaker 3: she's a liar. And we have a guest in a
Speaker 3: building to day. That's right, y'all. We got the man
Speaker 3: the mental legends spake Horton in the mother sucking building.
Speaker 1: How are you you good?
Speaker 2: I'm no legend about.
Speaker 3: By the way, I do want to tell you before
Speaker 3: you came in, Danny, I'm about to telling you real quick.
Speaker 1: At the gate.
Speaker 3: So he was like, man, every time I go to
Speaker 3: a woman's page, on Instagram, spank is following or in
Speaker 3: the likes or somewhere present.
Speaker 1: The page. Do y'all know each other? No, but y'all
Speaker 1: know the same holds apparently, how.
Speaker 2: Do you so much money?
Speaker 4: Both alphas?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, what's the alpha move?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Wait, like alpha men or like the alphas? Like, okay,
Speaker 3: what do y'all do?
Speaker 1: Isn't this like Hawaiian White stole from the Alpha?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: No, I always like to ask because I know the
Speaker 3: kappas shemmy, the Omega's bark. But the alphas I don't think.
Speaker 3: I know y'all are just really masculine.
Speaker 5: Oh all right now, and I'm sorry for the rest
Speaker 5: of the office. Y'all might be the best looking alphas
Speaker 5: I've seen.
Speaker 3: Like, wait, oh that's it. Okay, I don't know. I
Speaker 3: don't really like Nicholas.
Speaker 1: I want to bite that. Then I've ended up capitals.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Wait, cues are the ones that bark?
Speaker 1: Like right, okay, what do I magas do? That is?
Speaker 3: Oh, that's the same thing. Okay, but you'll know it
Speaker 3: just kind of be like kind of corny. But maybe
Speaker 3: you guys broke out of that as comedians.
Speaker 1: I don't know it.
Speaker 5: You know, it's like maybe y'all started as writers writing
Speaker 5: corny jokes that you got on the stage. I don't
Speaker 5: know your recently divorced. You got some money, you got.
Speaker 1: A cool car. How long have you been singles? Fank?
Speaker 2: Three years now?
Speaker 1: Oh wow?
Speaker 3: So have you re entered a whole phase since being
Speaker 3: a single? You're definitely in the whole phase?
Speaker 1: Are you beginning? Were you like grieving the break up
Speaker 1: or the forest?
Speaker 2: We actually broke up during the pandemic.
Speaker 3: Oh so it was a little little Do you have
Speaker 3: to stay with your sub You healed, right, I'm I'm
Speaker 3: still healing.
Speaker 2: That's my excuse to women. I'm still you. Oh god,
Speaker 2: you know they say, yeah, I think we should some
Speaker 2: more hell on the more days.
Speaker 1: Well, it's half the time you were with someone.
Speaker 2: It's half the time you got.
Speaker 1: How long were you all together?
Speaker 2: We was married for eight We was together for nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh bitch, no, don't tell him, don't do that. Man. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be single the rest of your life.
Speaker 2: Forty five So I ain't got that much time.
Speaker 1: Do you kids?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Two kids?
Speaker 5: Since being single, have you gotten to the point where
Speaker 5: you had to like be like, okay, like it's time
Speaker 5: to introduce my girl to the kids or anything like that.
Speaker 6: Well, my kid's grown. I'm forty five, my son twenty four,
Speaker 6: my daughter sixteen.
Speaker 1: So okay introduced all right.
Speaker 3: Spance, So we're gonna get into this icebreaker to warn
Speaker 3: you up just a little bit before we really get
Speaker 3: into you know, horrible de saison here, all right, and
Speaker 3: we're going straight at it.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you eat ass? That's actually not the I
Speaker 1: don't think that's the question. I mean, and I want
Speaker 1: to know. Uh.
Speaker 6: It depends if I'm drunk, for sure, but if I'm sober,
Speaker 6: I don't think I'm just going to eat ass.
Speaker 1: If you had to pick, would you rather suck toes
Speaker 1: or eat ass?
Speaker 2: Hmmm? Probably ass?
Speaker 1: Did we we? Okay?
Speaker 2: I hate more ass than I sucked too, so same, but.
Speaker 1: I would do both. I would then I suck.
Speaker 2: I don't think I have a.
Speaker 1: Well here they are, okay, we are doing Would you rather?
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna run down these four really quickly and
Speaker 3: let me know your thoughts. Would you rather have missionary
Speaker 3: sex with someone who has horrible breath or doggy style
Speaker 3: sex with someone who forgots white there, but after going
Speaker 3: number two, what's.
Speaker 2: The name of the show against, I go, horrible breath.
Speaker 2: I can't smell shit.
Speaker 1: I go, okay, horrible breath.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I yeah, actually, well for us,
Speaker 3: it wouldn't matter if it's doggy style.
Speaker 1: Well, yes it would for you, buddy, oh for me? Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: you're right. You're right. I'm not pegging or looking in
Speaker 1: the gas. If he got yeah, I mean, I just
Speaker 1: ignore it.
Speaker 2: I guess you would.
Speaker 1: Here we go, wait pegging.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was something else.
Speaker 3: Fer than fingering. Pegging is like a strap on with
Speaker 3: a whole dial doo.
Speaker 2: I saw the episode.
Speaker 3: He said, yeah, okay, all right, I mean, what do.
Speaker 1: You put a condom on your dick?
Speaker 3: So if it's mine, but like no, no, it's mine,
Speaker 3: but like like if it's like a new partner. We
Speaker 3: go and I let him pick his size and he
Speaker 3: gets to keep the dial though after I don't take
Speaker 3: dildo's home. After we buy it together, like it's to
Speaker 3: be yours. You could keep it one of my friends, right,
Speaker 3: don't do this.
Speaker 1: No, I did not, and I don't think I dated
Speaker 1: any of your friends. We may just be cool.
Speaker 2: Might just be cool to make sure.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys just to get in
Speaker 1: the group chat. Do you see it it get cloudy?
Speaker 1: How do you know ship? Like on a call?
Speaker 3: No, it's like when it come out like okay, like
Speaker 3: it might be there, Like that's that's the risk you take.
Speaker 1: Okay, how much shit is it? Do you see?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: It wasn't a lot of No, it wasn't a lot
Speaker 3: of ship. It just you know, so Pegan for you,
Speaker 3: she has done it.
Speaker 5: I'm not good at it, like honestly, because the pegging
Speaker 5: requires so much dominance. I feel like a nigga would
Speaker 5: have to like dominate me into sucking ass you know
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, which I could do.
Speaker 1: Okay, I am dating a dude right now. Who did
Speaker 1: He was just like, oh, like what kind of stuff
Speaker 1: have you done?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 5: On podcast i'll talk about crazy ship. So when Pegan
Speaker 5: came up, I was like, oh, have you news? I know,
Speaker 5: but I mean I was like okay, And.
Speaker 1: Then I said, well, why haven't you tried it?
Speaker 5: If you would be open to it? He was like,
Speaker 5: because I can't ask, no, girl, Like what do I say?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 5: I want you to fuck me and ask, and he's like,
Speaker 5: I just gotta wait for it to happen balid, which
Speaker 5: pretty much my signal.
Speaker 6: Okay, so that's sent me to this question. How do
Speaker 6: you just start pegging like you.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's it's no, it's definitely a conversation. Before
Speaker 1: I have conversation.
Speaker 3: We working our way there with either like butt dillayers
Speaker 3: or fingers or eating. Like there's a butt dilator kit
Speaker 3: later dilator like the hell called the antal training and
Speaker 3: antal training kit. Like you start real small, then you
Speaker 3: just get a little big, a big, big, big big thing.
Speaker 3: You gotta get in there to get in there.
Speaker 1: Okay, spank. Would you rather never have an orgasm or
Speaker 1: never find true love?
Speaker 2: Never find true love?
Speaker 3: Okay, you didn't been married, you didn't need to do
Speaker 3: with love already.
Speaker 1: That's you know what I mean? There done that? There come,
Speaker 1: he said, I'd rather call that.
Speaker 3: Look you never have an orgasm again?
Speaker 1: You think I want love?
Speaker 2: Right now?
Speaker 1: I'm heartbroken, bitch, make me come.
Speaker 3: Is everybody in this room say she's celibate, You've never
Speaker 3: she's never had an orgasm? Okay, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 3: what about masturbation? Okay, you will when you masturbate, you
Speaker 3: want it, You're never masturbating you.
Speaker 1: It's not orgasms. You want to stick. Cut this out. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: next one, when you masturbate, it'll happen. Here goes, here goes.
Speaker 3: Would you rather get a text from a one night
Speaker 3: stand that says I'm pregnant or I have an incurable STD?
Speaker 6: Oh, I'll get that text for the one night stand?
Speaker 6: Changing my number right after that text, get a new number.
Speaker 6: Thank you, appreciate the notification.
Speaker 1: You can't we can google you. Wait, you're just not
Speaker 1: responding at all to either one. So to the STD
Speaker 1: and pregnancy, I'm taking pregnancy, I'm taking prey.
Speaker 3: Okay, gosh, what about you the bitch pregnecy because you
Speaker 3: know I'm bringing a vacuum out.
Speaker 1: That's my That's what AI's and Herbie's right, Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what that is. No, both of those all right? Last one?
Speaker 1: Would you rather have sex in front of your parents
Speaker 1: or have to watch your parents have sex?
Speaker 2: Well? I saw my mom have sex, so therefore she
Speaker 2: got to watch me.
Speaker 1: Now, how old are you? Did you walk in on accident?
Speaker 2: Walked in on? I was like nineteen.
Speaker 1: I know you are.
Speaker 6: I'm surprised from college come home on the weekend. She
Speaker 6: just said, funk, I'm just had a door opening anything
Speaker 6: Stepdad had a leg all up in there. You turned
Speaker 6: around said all right, that was tough. Nineteen That was all.
Speaker 5: I caught my mom jerking off my dad once, and
Speaker 5: it was so bad because they tried to pretend like
Speaker 5: she was rubbing his stomach. I don't even I never
Speaker 5: told my mom I saw this, or maybe she doesn't.
Speaker 1: Remember it, but my mom came home from going to.
Speaker 5: The club because I am my mama child my mama
Speaker 5: and want to get lit with her friends and come
Speaker 5: back to her man.
Speaker 1: So I remember hearing the door open. She was saying
Speaker 1: his name, and then he was like, I'm sleeping. She
Speaker 1: was like God. When I went in there, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to be like, oh hey, ma, And I just
Speaker 1: saw her hand down there. It was so embarrassing.
Speaker 3: The only thing I did is I've heard my mom moan,
Speaker 3: and I just didn't understand why she couldn't shut the
Speaker 3: fuck up.
Speaker 1: Like we don't want to hear that. Oh, Like it
Speaker 1: happened multiple times, Like her.
Speaker 3: Boyfriends used to be moved in. She used to just
Speaker 3: move all these homeless niggas in our goddamn house, and
Speaker 3: she would be fucking them and moaning. It's like, we
Speaker 3: do not want to hear that. We don't, we don't
Speaker 3: want to hear it. I didn't wonder I don't want
Speaker 3: to hear moaning. Like if you moaned so much on
Speaker 3: this show.
Speaker 1: I know I moan and I lived for your trout
Speaker 1: I am, but like I'm never like man, you will moan,
Speaker 1: wait and ask for it. I'd be like, what'd you
Speaker 1: do yesterday?
Speaker 3: This nigga, I can, okay, but I can't actually fuck
Speaker 3: if there's people in the house. I know how to
Speaker 3: like not moan, to speak to the house. I like
Speaker 3: a quiet funks timmy. You could have no im okay,
Speaker 3: do you sneak? Did I tell you about the time
Speaker 3: that I lied and act like somebody's in the house?
Speaker 1: Not you acted like someone I think I said it
Speaker 1: on Patreon. So this nigga that I was fucking with
Speaker 1: because you were scared, Like, weren't you scared of home
Speaker 1: or something? No? No, no, no, no, there's another point.
Speaker 5: So I really didn't think he was gonna come inside
Speaker 5: my house. And the date was going well and he
Speaker 5: was dropping me off and we just didn't have time
Speaker 5: to go to his house. Long story short, the house
Speaker 5: was a mess, so I was like, okay, no, no, sorry,
Speaker 5: my bedroom was a mess because you know, the girl's
Speaker 5: like a heron outfit.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got my cousin standing over,
Speaker 1: so you gotta fuck me in the living room. He
Speaker 1: was like, I so we were being.
Speaker 3: Bad, quiet, and nobody was a home bitch. I just
Speaker 3: wouln't let him about to think I'm some messy hope girl.
Speaker 1: I like, so good.
Speaker 3: Okay, Now let me ask you that though, since you're
Speaker 3: dating and you know you may be entertaining multiple people,
Speaker 3: does a dirty house bother you when you walk in, like,
Speaker 3: especially if it's a new persona.
Speaker 1: It's not a dirty messy messy not dirty like no,
Speaker 1: like just clothes laying around.
Speaker 3: Like do you judge a woman by the messiness of
Speaker 3: her apartment? Keep it up, getting out of that Wait
Speaker 3: for real.
Speaker 2: It doesn't.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't bother would you know? Okay, Danny, you
Speaker 1: that's a big thing. It's a big thing.
Speaker 4: Yes, bathrooms mainly.
Speaker 3: R Okay, what are you looking at in the bathroom
Speaker 3: when you like, say, oh, I gotta go freshen up.
Speaker 3: What things would turn you off about a woman that
Speaker 3: you see in her bathroom, the toilet and the sink,
Speaker 3: the toilet in the stead, a.
Speaker 2: Lot of toilet people in the trash can wrapping that
Speaker 2: might be on a pair of or something, but maybe
Speaker 2: it just got off.
Speaker 1: That's why you're over there, niggas, look at that. Wait,
Speaker 1: I got.
Speaker 5: Okay, Oh they know, well, so if I know somebody's
Speaker 5: actually I have really good hygiene when it comes to
Speaker 5: disposing like sanitary products though, like if I'm on my
Speaker 5: period and I'm about to have someone in my home,
Speaker 5: like definitely, like I have a I have a routine
Speaker 5: to cleanliness.
Speaker 2: New trash can.
Speaker 3: Like it's have y'all been to any woman's house lately
Speaker 3: and they had condoms?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Does that bother you? Or if you see one lane
Speaker 1: condoms don't bother might bother I bother you? She's safe.
Speaker 2: She will make me want to have safe sex too.
Speaker 1: You should Wait, you wouldn't.
Speaker 7: You?
Speaker 1: You should want to have safe sex.
Speaker 2: You should, but you know things happen.
Speaker 1: You should, but haven't.
Speaker 5: Bro I have sex with someone recently for the first
Speaker 5: time that didn't like he was even gonna put see
Speaker 5: and I remember like he was kind of getting soft
Speaker 5: in the condom. He was drunk, but literally right after
Speaker 5: I remember he was kind of like rubbing it on me.
Speaker 5: I said, I know you're not trying to fuck this
Speaker 5: pussy wrong.
Speaker 1: Are you serious? And what he's saying? He was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, niggas be lying like he just is.
Speaker 5: Like then he tried to tell me when he got tested.
Speaker 5: I was like, for the first time, you bitch, Like,
Speaker 5: I don't that ship really dried me up?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 3: I don't wait your pussy roll though, niggas do say
Speaker 3: that if you sluck dick raw and ah your pussy roll.
Speaker 1: There are different No, Okay, you can't get a baby
Speaker 1: from oral sex for one.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not worried about that.
Speaker 3: Well okay wait wait wait baby, all right, I get
Speaker 3: compliments on how good my pussy smells, you are not
Speaker 3: about to fuck my shit up.
Speaker 5: I can't imaginate everything just having my pussy fucked up
Speaker 5: because you like what Yeah, absolutely not. I would literally
Speaker 5: be in tears if I had some fishy pussy, Like
Speaker 5: my ego.
Speaker 1: Would be destroyed. You gotta going back to doing that
Speaker 1: back to back?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I knock you off the day I can't
Speaker 2: knock off tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Look at you be a thought a PhD because.
Speaker 3: Okay, so what's the what's the time frame you give
Speaker 3: so that you ain't sucking up a pH as CDs
Speaker 3: either way?
Speaker 2: Nigga, I'm gonna get tested, but I'm still not gonna
Speaker 2: go back to back?
Speaker 1: Sure, So what's the time frame? What's the gap time?
Speaker 2: Probably three weeks?
Speaker 1: Wow? Okay, so one relationship being a better person than
Speaker 1: I thought.
Speaker 2: I'm a good god good guy.
Speaker 1: I'm weak.
Speaker 5: Yeah, all right, my wait, messing this though. Let me
Speaker 5: tell you my mom all the time about the toilet
Speaker 5: in the sink.
Speaker 1: My mom. So when Danny said that my mom, he said.
Speaker 5: Telling me, like when she would come to my house,
Speaker 5: this is when I was younger to like eighteen nineteen,
Speaker 5: living alone, she would be like, what is this toothpaste
Speaker 5: in the saint? Like you clean it out, make sure
Speaker 5: it's clean. And she goes, well, you know men are
Speaker 5: going to come over, lift up the seat and clean it.
Speaker 1: And I think women don't.
Speaker 3: In the tub.
Speaker 1: You need to make sure they ain't.
Speaker 3: Like the tub is the thing that I look at.
Speaker 3: I will not fucking ma if go into his bathroom
Speaker 3: and the toilet of the tub.
Speaker 1: Like the club is a big thing for me for
Speaker 1: as far as the tueb you want a bathroom?
Speaker 2: Do you open the carry up?
Speaker 1: Wait? Wait, y'all do that. I gotta pee and y'all
Speaker 1: go pull back the look at the medicine cabinets. You don't, Oh,
Speaker 1: you're looking in the meadow.
Speaker 5: Might be doing so that in case he's about to
Speaker 5: hear me open it, because you never know how hard
Speaker 5: it will slam.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, do you have any mouth wash?
Speaker 3: And before they even say anything, I'll be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 3: because the last nigga house I went to, he has
Speaker 3: some secret deodorant.
Speaker 1: And I was like, hold on, hold on, women.
Speaker 6: That is sometimes I mean lead a house on my
Speaker 6: way to the club, and I forgot to put the
Speaker 6: odor on, so I got to stop at the little
Speaker 6: gas station.
Speaker 2: That's all they got.
Speaker 1: Oh look, you'll be ready with the lies like that.
Speaker 1: But well, he claimed right now this hotel as Nigga said,
Speaker 1: it's less para bensan. I said me wrong, nigga, Now
Speaker 1: you're worried about parabins. Nick got less para me. The
Speaker 1: niggas do anything.
Speaker 5: Wait, my favorite niggas to say anything. Shit was when
Speaker 5: you said you showed your ex that that picture he
Speaker 5: sent you was.
Speaker 1: Girl was from a year ago. He said that I
Speaker 1: sent the wrong picture.
Speaker 3: He sent me a picture of him in the hospital
Speaker 3: because he couldn't make where our plans that night. It
Speaker 3: seemed like he was so fucking sick. He sent me
Speaker 3: a picture of him in the hospital. But I knew
Speaker 3: he was a lion ass nigga, so I saved the
Speaker 3: picture and it was a year old. So I waited
Speaker 3: until we went on a date two days later, and
Speaker 3: I'm we.
Speaker 1: Was keick caring grand night.
Speaker 3: He was tearing up that chicken parm and I splid
Speaker 3: that mother bucket fold across the table so quick, like, listen,
Speaker 3: if you're gonna lie to me, you have to do
Speaker 3: a better job.
Speaker 1: I'm a millennial.
Speaker 3: I know you're older, but this isn't gonna work. And
Speaker 3: I literally showed it to him and I was like,
Speaker 3: so where were you? He was like, I sent you
Speaker 3: the wrong picture.
Speaker 1: I was in the hospital, lying, ass, what did you say?
Speaker 3: I'm actually really mad that I stayed with him after that,
Speaker 3: And I should have even known to leave him even
Speaker 3: further after that, because two weeks later, he felt like
Speaker 3: Steve jobs Uh betrayed him and he got an android.
Speaker 3: Good Bro good Ding got an Android after after.
Speaker 1: He'dne felt sucked over by Apple.
Speaker 3: And I still literally stayed with that nigga with his
Speaker 3: green bubbles and all, yeah, trifling, what's the biggest lie
Speaker 3: you've ever told a woman?
Speaker 1: The biggest lie or maybe the worst? Maybe like where
Speaker 1: you knew like and you knew that she knew you.
Speaker 5: I knew a nigga that got blood on the bed
Speaker 5: from another bitch and told his bitch that he had
Speaker 5: a cut.
Speaker 1: And then he I said, and then she goes where
Speaker 1: is it? And he was like, Bro, I was like,
Speaker 1: you're really gonna question me? He said. I went in
Speaker 1: the bathroom trying to figure out how to fucking what. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not, No, he ain't a lie.
Speaker 2: Probably my grandma died, but she's been died.
Speaker 3: Oh, I ain't gonna hold you the way they're already dead,
Speaker 3: already the way. I don't believe all the funerals that
Speaker 3: nigga went too. I swear to God, I don't believe
Speaker 3: the funerals no more.
Speaker 1: Nigga.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, bro, he told me he went to
Speaker 3: Panama to buy suits. The nigga was with a bitch.
Speaker 2: Suits, that's what. That's what.
Speaker 1: And I believed him? Like why I thought he needed
Speaker 1: sooth as a retired man. I don't know, bitch, Why
Speaker 1: did I believe you? In the power? Dick is hell?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 3: Nah?
Speaker 1: Crazy? Real quick? Did you lie? Have you lied to
Speaker 1: any of your partners about anything?
Speaker 2: Of course, don't do that. I'm gon always lied about
Speaker 2: the last time.
Speaker 1: Oh that's true three years ago, I spent some time.
Speaker 1: No way, I really had. I lied about body count.
Speaker 3: Now I just say because they know it's over two hands, bitch,
Speaker 3: I have a sex power, but I haven't left my
Speaker 3: feet yet. But well, yeah, well, and I lied because
Speaker 3: you you were too childish to be asking me that
Speaker 3: got damn question was?
Speaker 1: I don't even in that question? I don't like yeah,
Speaker 1: like I'm really trying to think. Damn, I know I
Speaker 1: got when I was with old bag.
Speaker 3: Oh, I can't even say this is so now go
Speaker 3: ahead and be trifling. You don't lie about being pregnant
Speaker 3: for money, and.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that one. I definitely told her to.
Speaker 1: But I need it. I needed to get my fucking
Speaker 1: way right y'all. Wait y'all. Have y'all both been asked
Speaker 1: for abortion money when y'all knew the bitch wasn't pregnant.
Speaker 1: How do y'all respond to that? Y'all give them sends
Speaker 1: you a pregnancy test, but.
Speaker 3: Like, y'all just send the money, like y'all don't ask
Speaker 3: for an appointment, verification.
Speaker 1: Or none of that. What's the point. It's five hunder buck.
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna hold you now, bitch the way we
Speaker 3: all was doing them COVID test everybody, No photoshop now, hey,
Speaker 3: I will photoshop of goddamn medical appointment. You say abortion
Speaker 3: right there? For for tell my my my abortion was
Speaker 3: covered by insurance. And he was a trap niggas. So
Speaker 3: he gave me mad money and he gave me the
Speaker 3: day off money.
Speaker 1: And I was like, damn, this is really it was
Speaker 1: a real abortion.
Speaker 5: But I lied saying like I need two days off
Speaker 5: plus it's five hundred dollars to sedate me? What it
Speaker 5: was extra fifty dollars?
Speaker 1: I just added to zero. That's all, bro.
Speaker 3: I don't remember anything like to anyone listening there, do
Speaker 3: you did you did you do the deep sedation? No?
Speaker 1: I was, I was, I was, I was about to
Speaker 1: say I was alive while they did it.
Speaker 3: I remember when they told me that if I couldn't
Speaker 3: get my legs up that they weren't.
Speaker 5: They were gonna stop. That was the only thing that
Speaker 5: woke me up. But like I'm so sensitive, you know,
Speaker 5: I could barely handle two drinks. Yeah, but I say
Speaker 5: it all the time.
Speaker 3: Like when they did mine, like I think they tried
Speaker 3: to like guilt me out of it, and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 3: is just a dot, Like it's.
Speaker 1: Not even it's a dot. Take it out.
Speaker 5: Take the dot out. I don't want to hear you
Speaker 5: just I said, just take it out. No, so they
Speaker 5: put They gave me this like ivy drip that like
Speaker 5: basically sedated me. And I remember you have to put
Speaker 5: your your feet up, just like a guy to call
Speaker 5: it this way man, and my legs were like I
Speaker 5: was really knocking out.
Speaker 1: The shit was too strong. And the doctor was like,
Speaker 1: if you can't keep your legs up, you're not getting
Speaker 1: this and I'll let oh wake up, keep this baby out.
Speaker 3: That ship was rough, but anyway, I remember. I remember
Speaker 3: he called me when I got home and he was like,
Speaker 3: what you want me to bring you?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, out back.
Speaker 2: I was so basic, that's funny.
Speaker 3: I mean after my bors my mama fed me Arby's.
Speaker 3: I did not, but I felt like that was punishment
Speaker 3: because like should have been like, oh, sixteenth, about to
Speaker 3: be seventeen. I was a junior going I was going
Speaker 3: into my junior year of high school.
Speaker 1: Sorry, And it was because I spent the summer with Weezy.
Speaker 1: Whole ass. What you went, Weezy? Did I fuck the friend? Yes?
Speaker 3: And she got me pregnant by a gang banger who
Speaker 3: ended up locked up. So when I needed the abortion money,
Speaker 3: my homegirl that worked.
Speaker 1: At Coastone had to play. I'm sorry. Was ghetout I
Speaker 1: know he was a gang? Yes, I did you bitch?
Speaker 1: What his friend because he was a love Yes? Was
Speaker 1: his friend of game bager? No, his friend was a rapper.
Speaker 1: His friend was a rapper. If that nigga find me now.
Speaker 3: I really think though, when I was sending pictures back
Speaker 3: then and like be naked ship, if you got a
Speaker 3: nude before I had titties, does it count?
Speaker 1: No? And I remember my ex was like, you better
Speaker 1: send me the newd.
Speaker 3: Titties now, beach you pap, I'm weak, spank, We're gonna
Speaker 3: get into our hoard dir our hord durve.
Speaker 1: Segment is where we ask our guests to give a
Speaker 1: sex tip. So you've been around quite a long time,
Speaker 1: almost half a century, so we would love to have
Speaker 1: a sex tip from you, prehistoric or not.
Speaker 6: Next Uh, it's not gonna be crazy with this show.
Speaker 6: It's probably with the bottom of y'all lits. Uh probably
Speaker 6: will I said on my radio show.
Speaker 1: And what's the name of the radio show?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 2: Shit, straight from the heart? No, because straight from the
Speaker 2: heart on Serious X ninety six.
Speaker 1: We how do we listen to it on our phone?
Speaker 1: Since people are money, we got that.
Speaker 2: They got that Serious xm app and you click on it,
Speaker 2: pay a little subscribing figure.
Speaker 6: I forgot what it is. I finally trying to get
Speaker 6: a cold for all that pull something Oh boom, just remimy.
Speaker 6: But uh, I told him, you have you do missionary?
Speaker 6: You had like the little choke and you give him
Speaker 6: a little smack when they're not when they're not looking
Speaker 6: at you, like I want you to look at me.
Speaker 1: It's kind of hot.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I like that, So I'll get a little
Speaker 2: not a crazy smack, but nice little come on, look
Speaker 2: at me.
Speaker 5: I had a nigga choked me recently and dread nigga,
Speaker 5: and he just told me to keep my eyes a
Speaker 5: little bit. And that ship was hot, bitch, because like
Speaker 5: I contact, like straight on with someone kind of knew
Speaker 5: was a little intense.
Speaker 1: But when he was telling me, I was looking away.
Speaker 3: I'm left like, I don't know if sometimes niggas faces
Speaker 3: don't look great, it's dearing sex.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't. I can't look at it
Speaker 1: the whole time.
Speaker 2: I'm great until the time, no, I guess.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, that's literally. I was telling Mandy, Oh, I
Speaker 1: ain't say it on the podcast yet about the laughing,
Speaker 1: did I?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't, I'm not looking. So I came so
Speaker 5: large that I laughed, full on laugh. The nigger got
Speaker 5: soft and everything. But it was the strongest orgasm I've
Speaker 5: ever had. And it's not like it's the biggest dick.
Speaker 1: I've ever had. It wasn't no crazy shit. I don't
Speaker 1: know what happened.
Speaker 3: I was in missionary maybe my body was tilted, but
Speaker 3: when he was sucking me, the orgasm took like two minutes,
Speaker 3: and I just remember going up, up, up, and then
Speaker 3: like literally the second I came.
Speaker 5: I'm like laughing hard to the point where I covered
Speaker 5: my bro and to know that that's how ugly I
Speaker 5: must look, because I was like, bro.
Speaker 1: He literally said, like what.
Speaker 2: You kept laughing though?
Speaker 1: Did you push him off? You though?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 5: No, he got soft. I was laughing so hard and
Speaker 5: then I turned even when like you come that hardy lot.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, don't look at me, don't touch me.
Speaker 1: But hey, this is the worst part. So I came
Speaker 1: so hard tears came out and laughing. That's what I do, bitch.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Maybe I squired it. Then I don't know what happened
Speaker 5: to my body. But after this ship, we had dinner plans, right.
Speaker 5: I was like, hey, yo, can I get the let
Speaker 5: me put some music on. He was like, I'll do
Speaker 5: what you want to put on. I said, put on
Speaker 5: g Z one O three, like.
Speaker 1: I need to I need my thug ship. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, bitch, I a little bit nah,
Speaker 1: And he.
Speaker 3: Was like, yo, you look like a fucking bird right now.
Speaker 3: I was in the bathroom put on make time.
Speaker 1: I had to like get my ship back, bitch, I'm
Speaker 1: crying on this niggas dick. It was like the third
Speaker 1: time we fucked. Have you ever done that?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 3: Have you ever as a woman ever like made you
Speaker 3: come so hard that you felt like you took a
Speaker 3: little masculinity away from that.
Speaker 2: I'm a mohay, we like that.
Speaker 1: Men moan? Please do it.
Speaker 5: I don't know why men don't moan. I don't know
Speaker 5: if it's something in their brain that won't let them,
Speaker 5: like release any noise.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But ant no, I don't call that
Speaker 1: is that's a grunt? Wait, what's a man? Mom? I
Speaker 1: want you to bitch. I want you to moan. You
Speaker 1: want the bread? Oh yeah, moaning for me? I'll tell
Speaker 1: you that because niggas be quiet.
Speaker 3: And this is why in America, y'all don't know how
Speaker 3: to talk, because we all defined ship differently around here. Anyways,
Speaker 3: we're gonna get into our horrible decision. We have a
Speaker 3: ton of vanilla ship to get to, okay, and we're
Speaker 3: gonna start with someone's talking about the male body one
Speaker 3: being that I found recently and wanted to know if
Speaker 3: you guys were familiar with it and if you would
Speaker 3: like it done to any of your partners or yourself.
Speaker 3: So breast implants aren't the only implants getting switched out
Speaker 3: for a large size. Have either of you guys heard
Speaker 3: about testical implants. Yes, but that's normally for cancer patients.
Speaker 3: While some of them are also to have it showing
Speaker 3: and like some of it is just what is it
Speaker 3: called cosmetic? Like where they wanted just to be shown
Speaker 3: while they.
Speaker 5: Were you not like vaulted in the clip. Yeah, they
Speaker 5: want big ball, I like a swinging ball. Did they
Speaker 5: lower when you got older?
Speaker 1: They drop it in cases? Someone did ask.
Speaker 3: I believe they encased the original testicle and it keeps
Speaker 3: it still kind of it's really just for cosmetic because
Speaker 3: it doesn't work the same, so it doesn't hold sperm.
Speaker 1: All the natural things make them bigger? Does it fuck
Speaker 1: your sperm? U?
Speaker 3: Listen, I just found out. Look, I just know that
Speaker 3: there's a picture you could have bigger fucking testicles between said,
Speaker 3: we're gonna get into the shout out of the cosmetic lane.
Speaker 3: You know, I've been looking up because I want these
Speaker 3: titties that so I've been looking up all the little.
Speaker 5: Bro I cannot can y'all both please tell Mandy Mandy
Speaker 5: lost weight so she feels like now her titties there
Speaker 5: are good.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, don't they look good? Look, I can't listen.
Speaker 3: Y'all can say what you want to come and come
Speaker 3: and gage.
Speaker 1: You don't need them done. I don't care.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do what I want the same way I
Speaker 3: got these teeth did, same way I lost this weight,
Speaker 3: same way I might gain some bitch, let.
Speaker 1: Me do what I want, motherfucking do I mean, do
Speaker 1: what you want to do. I'm just telling you people
Speaker 1: will pay for them titties. Good for those people. I
Speaker 1: want to pay for better.
Speaker 3: They sagging, they wrinkle because I've lost so much weight,
Speaker 3: Like this looks good right now, I guess not naked,
Speaker 3: and there's no way to save it.
Speaker 1: They're fucking rink.
Speaker 3: The only way, the only way to say, the only
Speaker 3: way to save them is for me to gain weight
Speaker 3: back then y'all gonna talk.
Speaker 5: You know what, though, I maybe you may have a
Speaker 5: different brain about titties than I do. I really love
Speaker 5: it as someone doesn't have natural titties like I like
Speaker 5: love it. If I see like a stretch, marking and
Speaker 5: titty of anything, I love you.
Speaker 1: Go back to our first couple of years. It was
Speaker 1: my favorite part of my body.
Speaker 3: Not anymore they're not sitting the same and they're wrinking
Speaker 3: like they're literally wrinkly Michigan.
Speaker 1: You know, no, I lost weight.
Speaker 3: I'm another one I wanted to talk about. Now we've
Speaker 3: talked about one similarly. I do want to know if
Speaker 3: you're familiar with the term diphilia it diphailia. A Los
Speaker 3: Angeles truck driver known only as Tank opened up recently
Speaker 3: about life with diphilia, which is a condition meaning that
Speaker 3: he has two penises which would ejaculate simultaneously.
Speaker 1: That's how if only one would stimulate. How big are they? Now?
Speaker 3: You know they didn't have pictures here, But how big
Speaker 3: are they? It doesn't let me if you have two
Speaker 3: five inches dicks, I'll take you want to small dicks?
Speaker 3: I told you it'll be like double vaginal.
Speaker 2: How's the dicks lined up? Though?
Speaker 1: Is it given sex? That part?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We've talked about that. I don't know. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I need them to be different sizes, not the same size,
Speaker 1: but definitely not two little ones. What's the point of that? Oh?
Speaker 5: There short and there there are two fat one like
Speaker 5: I want one? Imagine like you get to do this.
Speaker 1: When you second date that's you know what, But have
Speaker 1: you ever thought do you have? Technically?
Speaker 2: I never thought about that too.
Speaker 5: You never thought one of the one of the b
Speaker 5: I mean technically, wait, no, one of the b one
Speaker 5: of the b okay whatever the bootlehole in the vagina.
Speaker 5: It felt kind of like, you're it's funny y'all are
Speaker 5: dating now.
Speaker 3: All of y'all except for me, and I wanted to
Speaker 3: know y'all thoughts on this bumble recently and now dating?
Speaker 1: You go on dates you went.
Speaker 3: I did go ax throwing, but it's because my ex
Speaker 3: didn't go there as much as bad as I wanted
Speaker 3: to go. So I said, oh, I'm single now I'm
Speaker 3: gonna go to Xzone. The nigga didn't even have a
Speaker 3: goat exton and I told him we go on X
Speaker 3: Zone real white people ship.
Speaker 1: But it was cute. It was really cute. I feel
Speaker 1: like i'd be really bad at that. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: Me and him was the top two. We beat all
Speaker 1: the white people. Bitch congratulations.
Speaker 3: It was like cute, but I was like, nigga, don't
Speaker 3: be coming with your athleticism and he did it one.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Nigga, I was supposed to win.
Speaker 1: Oh. I love when niggas let you win. I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you going to date? You're not letting a woman
Speaker 1: win if y'all go to like anything. No, like you
Speaker 1: be speaking at as. Now what if she beats you?
Speaker 1: But you are the best, I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna lay you.
Speaker 1: Yeah what I'm the best.
Speaker 2: It was gonna be money. I'll lay you, okay, like
Speaker 2: one hundred something like that.
Speaker 1: You money confident, I'm gonna take that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna lay one hundred to your ten.
Speaker 3: If we like busy, I like, that's calling me a
Speaker 3: broke bitch.
Speaker 1: No, that's hot. That's what it's like when niggas like,
Speaker 1: let you pay for like the little ship, let me
Speaker 1: get the parking bitch. I paid for some part. Another night,
Speaker 1: this nigga Tavit and I went to the valley. He
Speaker 1: said forty dollars. I said forty dollars. Said he parked
Speaker 1: in the front. I said, I didn't approve the you
Speaker 1: talking about. I hate when niggas do that. Now keep
Speaker 1: it in the front. I don't know. I had doll
Speaker 1: I said, that's that's what you get for offering. I
Speaker 1: passed that.
Speaker 5: No, I like, I like making a gesture because I
Speaker 5: feel like a lot of women don't and I just
Speaker 5: but also that's kind of in my nature though to
Speaker 5: do something little. I ain't say I was paying everything,
Speaker 5: but I like a little. I love when a nigga comes,
Speaker 5: they about to pay for something.
Speaker 1: Maybe she got it. Yeah, So Bubble is banning ghosting.
Speaker 3: Stood up singles are urged to now report offenders for
Speaker 3: what they consider abusive behavior.
Speaker 1: That's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: The trendy dating platform will now allow it's millions of
Speaker 3: users to report each other for ghosting on an in
Speaker 3: person date.
Speaker 1: So the app plan that's a no show, So it's
Speaker 1: well they're calling yeahs.
Speaker 3: According to Engadget, the apps updated guy like are intended
Speaker 3: to discourage no show behavior through disallowing the act of
Speaker 3: not turning up to an in person meetup despite clear
Speaker 3: peans plans agreed by both parties. So stood up singletons
Speaker 3: would now be able to use the InApp report feature
Speaker 3: to write out offenders.
Speaker 1: Now, can I just say something? Talk to me? One
Speaker 1: of my homeboys went out, old were you and I
Speaker 1: talking to him? No? Sorry. One of my homeboys was
Speaker 1: on a date and he said he pulled up.
Speaker 5: He said, I thought that it could have been heard
Speaker 5: because she was the only black girl in his bar,
Speaker 5: and he was like, but I was like, ain't no, wait,
Speaker 5: that's not the girl I st wipe on And he
Speaker 5: was like, I didn't even want to go up to her.
Speaker 1: He was like, I felt so forced to finish this date.
Speaker 5: She looked completely different and he was like, like he said,
Speaker 5: he almost didn't think it was the same picture.
Speaker 3: Has that happened with you? Like, have you met someone
Speaker 3: on Instagram? Date on Instagram or dady apps and they
Speaker 3: didn't look like their picture?
Speaker 6: But I ain't making a date though, I just invite
Speaker 6: them to the show. So if I see him at
Speaker 6: the end of the showy, all nice to major.
Speaker 1: Glad you do that? Is that a good way to do?
Speaker 1: You do that? Danny? Do you invite girls? You invite
Speaker 1: girls to the show.
Speaker 4: Our shows are different. He's got shows. I got our show.
Speaker 1: We are that a working space, nigga, I'm.
Speaker 3: This show would but you invite them there and then
Speaker 3: if you think they look attractive, then you invite them
Speaker 3: on a date later.
Speaker 8: Yeah, if I'm not producing the show, yeah, I'm just
Speaker 8: going up and I can if I'm producing the show.
Speaker 4: It's too stressful.
Speaker 2: I don't. I can't. You're doing a lot of work.
Speaker 1: What does that mean you pick all the comedians?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you hosting or something like that. You can't really
Speaker 4: kick it for.
Speaker 3: So you so you wait to see if they look good,
Speaker 3: and then do you invite them out again? What's like
Speaker 3: a first date?
Speaker 1: Then after you? Okay, girl in person? What's what's the
Speaker 1: first date that you like to do that works?
Speaker 3: Someone's get a great conversation, then okay, some good food
Speaker 3: and then dinner goes well, what's what's an dinner?
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably like a lounge or something. Okay, f club, lounge, drink.
Speaker 2: Oh you're saying after.
Speaker 1: Then on the next date, the next date, the next date,
Speaker 1: next date.
Speaker 2: Uh No, I won't be done that yet. I don't
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 6: I don't mind that I would have to find out,
Speaker 6: like at then I'm gonna find out things about you.
Speaker 6: So if I find out that you like something that
Speaker 6: our second date.
Speaker 5: As someone that's been going on dates more frequently, like
Speaker 5: dating apps and stuff, I don't want somebody in my
Speaker 5: home on the second date necessarily or third yep. So
Speaker 5: besides a comedy show, what else can we do excellently?
Speaker 5: The other day I went to the slipper Room.
Speaker 1: That was fun. In New York.
Speaker 5: It's like a Burlett's show. You can find one in
Speaker 5: your city. The slipperroom for less shows are great.
Speaker 1: That's that was fun. And I one in l I
Speaker 1: forgot the name of it though, a bro less show
Speaker 1: and La tell us fuck, I can't.
Speaker 2: Remember the name anyone.
Speaker 6: Is that the show where it's like the we have
Speaker 6: like midgets and like tall girls and figure old titties
Speaker 6: and should yeah they have little landa sh yeah, I'm
Speaker 6: sorry little people. I follow job forgot Mandy says it
Speaker 6: got twenty twenty three, but yeah, yeah he is.
Speaker 1: Don't get canceled. What if white ones say nigga, that's it?
Speaker 1: And even then, look at Bill Burr, He's still here.
Speaker 6: But we'd be funny and you'll be uhgan yeah, Joe
Speaker 6: yea yeah.
Speaker 5: Bil Bert Wait wait wait there was another comedian that
Speaker 5: was saying, because Bill Burr got Bill Marsk, So wait
Speaker 5: a second.
Speaker 3: So we just want jail podcasters slash comedian and then
Speaker 3: I don't have to get believed out anymore. I just
Speaker 3: need to be sure that's how this works, so we
Speaker 3: will never be like I could start saying things like.
Speaker 5: For example, I've been seeing clips of Andrew Schulz say
Speaker 5: stuff so bad that I'm like, what, like especially the
Speaker 5: way he talks about Indians and Asians. But I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 5: he is hilarious, so like literally I was thinking about
Speaker 5: it and I was like, okay, so you're sitting next
Speaker 5: to Akash He's Indian, so it kind of like escapes it.
Speaker 5: And then you know w Andrews said with us, he
Speaker 5: says it about him, and it's like I can talk
Speaker 5: about beaches glomb right here.
Speaker 1: Like he knows what he's doing. You know what it
Speaker 1: is too.
Speaker 2: If you don't like spongors and stuff like that, you
Speaker 2: can't get canceled.
Speaker 1: We get picked.
Speaker 3: A lot of people don't want to sponsor our show
Speaker 3: either because of the things we talked about and saying
Speaker 3: as well, that's why we're on tour whore Hive dot com.
Speaker 3: Come and see a sly baby, say some who sit
Speaker 3: on this state I have Mandy. I ain't gonna repeat it,
Speaker 3: you know, but to see it live.
Speaker 1: Baby.
Speaker 5: We don't have a lot of Asian fans, so we
Speaker 5: were lucky, which I didn't even see nothing bad.
Speaker 1: I just said, Chinese food is my least favorite China.
Speaker 5: Can I just say Asian and Asian fans off to
Speaker 5: la because this is the most Asian fans I think
Speaker 5: we have. But maybe it's because I'm going out around
Speaker 5: a lot here more. But recently one of my friends,
Speaker 5: his name is Miko, and he dresses fly as fuck.
Speaker 5: He is Asian and we all know they be dressing.
Speaker 5: Let's let's bey the heypees.
Speaker 1: Right, they culturally appropriate so I can't remember where he No,
Speaker 1: they are appropriate. Some ship Asians be dressed.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 1: They got a swag absolutely, bro. Look at like from.
Speaker 5: So I don't know, like you gotta take a Harajuku style,
Speaker 5: like a lot of Japanese clothing, the way it's tailored,
Speaker 5: Like I just really like Japanese style and not but anyway, and.
Speaker 1: The minimalism whatever. So we go out, this Asian girl
Speaker 1: comes up to me. She was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: She was about to say something to me like oh,
Speaker 1: you're a Miko's friend, and she.
Speaker 5: Was like no, I was just about to say like
Speaker 5: I love horrible and I was like, oh my god, Asian,
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I thought I met you before. And she said to me.
Speaker 1: Shouting to her, she was like he must be Asian.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, Miko rhymes black bitch. I was scared.
Speaker 1: But I do want to say I know our one
Speaker 1: Asian fan, Fanny Funk.
Speaker 5: I think that's her name, but I know you fuck
Speaker 5: with us your patron name because Stanny is her first name.
Speaker 1: I don't know even if you still listen, that Funk
Speaker 1: sounds like you just made that up.
Speaker 7: It was a Fanny f name, So you is crazy
Speaker 7: you it wasn't Fanny Fremont. We'll give you a free ticket.
Speaker 3: All right, another Vanilla ship. And I want to know
Speaker 3: if you guys would consider this.
Speaker 1: Actually, So, have you guys.
Speaker 3: Ever heard of an affair consultant? So an a fair
Speaker 3: consultant is actually a consultant that will help.
Speaker 1: You fight the urge to cheat. Oh, not the opposite,
Speaker 1: not the honest.
Speaker 3: So resisting the temptation to cheat on a spouse or
Speaker 3: significant o. There can be hard work, but a snoke
Speaker 3: crowned a fair consultant is virally advising want to be
Speaker 3: two timers to keep it in their pants for the
Speaker 3: sake of their relationship.
Speaker 1: The therapist man being attracted, Well, what's what's crazy? Yes?
Speaker 3: But no, like my therapist, I was very open with
Speaker 3: her with letting her know that she's really good with
Speaker 3: business dynamics and partnerships.
Speaker 1: And things like that because of you, bus.
Speaker 3: I mean, but the way that I'm dealing with this
Speaker 3: healing journey with my partner, That's why I'm seeking uh
Speaker 3: a love and sex coach, because I don't feel like
Speaker 3: my therapist is going to be able to do all
Speaker 3: the same things.
Speaker 1: I don't think any therapist between a love and sex coach.
Speaker 3: Yes, Like, well, they probably can't label themselves a therapist
Speaker 3: because some are self indoctrine. Some may not be complete
Speaker 3: with school or have an actual degree to call themselves
Speaker 3: a doctor or anything like that. So like, if anyone
Speaker 3: normally is like a life coach, they may have took
Speaker 3: a master club.
Speaker 1: We had a good one.
Speaker 5: I forgot who recommended them? Was it my assistant Tiana
Speaker 5: who fucking recommended us? The girl Alison?
Speaker 1: I liked her. We had her mediate a few. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the one. Never say that you hung up on,
Speaker 1: bitch because you was tripping. That's why she loved. We
Speaker 1: paid for this. You could therapize me, bitch, and I
Speaker 1: stayed on scuse I ain't gonna sit on the whole trick.
Speaker 1: Stayed on it. I stayed on it and got my
Speaker 1: little session done. Bro.
Speaker 5: Every time I get upset, like I think that's when
Speaker 5: like Florida comes out.
Speaker 1: It's like I get so ruthless and I'm working on.
Speaker 5: It, I really am, because like I feel like the
Speaker 5: older you get, you should have better not even communication skills,
Speaker 5: but better skills for yourself.
Speaker 1: In managing when you're getting Yeah, and that I've had
Speaker 1: to learn how to do you know what I.
Speaker 5: Mean, Like when it's not a love relationship, because for
Speaker 5: a love relationship, you feel like, oh I have to
Speaker 5: like nurture this or your your ego is less out
Speaker 5: of it because of how you feel about that person.
Speaker 5: But whether it be business or friendship, sometimes I'm way
Speaker 5: more like hard and I don't know if it's a
Speaker 5: self defense mechanism or what, but like it just causes
Speaker 5: me to like snap, and therapy almost don't help that shit, bro,
Speaker 5: because sometimes I be talking about therapists about like ways
Speaker 5: to do shit, and I'd be like, no, I still want,
Speaker 5: like I don't know what to.
Speaker 1: I don't know, like is it just being ghetto? Like
Speaker 1: when do you get rid of it? I mean I'm
Speaker 1: I feel like I've gotten rid of it. I feel
Speaker 1: like worked great.
Speaker 2: No, I just got into a bar fight last year,
Speaker 2: not a bar.
Speaker 1: Wait for what happened? Some people slapped. Are you still
Speaker 1: you still got the charges? No, you just came from Canada.
Speaker 1: You good? Good god.
Speaker 6: We was in we got a section or whatever, me
Speaker 6: and my friends and the guys just kept coming in
Speaker 6: the section. I'm like, oh man, I can't be up
Speaker 6: in it. And one dude looked me up and down.
Speaker 6: I'm like, somebody, wasn't it a video of me getting
Speaker 6: jumped before niggas?
Speaker 2: It is a video?
Speaker 1: Okay? Can I ask you how did the women in
Speaker 1: your life treat you after you got jumped?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: Were they thoughtful? They came and took care of you.
Speaker 1: I would love to be a nurse to a nigga.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, shot just like weapon like that too.
Speaker 6: But that's when my cat took the hookahstands was swinging up.
Speaker 1: They go to jail.
Speaker 2: Cop said, who was fighting?
Speaker 1: I would have pressed charges. Real niggas do real things.
Speaker 2: That's the one that's one of my friends.
Speaker 5: Honestly though, was like, that's I'm so so hot, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna get a tattoo and get the same way. What
Speaker 5: but you know I love nursing a nigga. I'm not
Speaker 5: nigga told me he had COVID.
Speaker 1: I probably could on.
Speaker 3: A little plastic BA want to help now. I want
Speaker 3: to go back to this because I find it really interesting.
Speaker 3: At any point in your relationships when you had the
Speaker 3: urge to cheat, would this be something that you would
Speaker 3: have went after?
Speaker 1: Would you wanted it to have stopped yourself from cheating?
Speaker 1: If you didn't?
Speaker 2: No, he won that three in the morning. I was
Speaker 2: drunk when girls firting with me. He won that.
Speaker 1: Also, Like if I want to cheat that Babbage, Yeah
Speaker 1: with then what?
Speaker 5: Because to me, you got an impulse kind of cheat,
Speaker 5: and then you have a deeper rooted like Oh, I
Speaker 5: want to cheat because I don't like you anymore. I
Speaker 5: want to cheat because you're making me angry. Like I
Speaker 5: feel like I got to nurture today. If I'm gonna
Speaker 5: pay some money, I need to get the most fucking
Speaker 5: consultant for us.
Speaker 1: Now I do want to share too.
Speaker 3: So LaRusso is the name of this specific person working
Speaker 3: on anti cheating pointers that are fairly team compared to others.
Speaker 3: There is another therapist that has gone viral as well.
Speaker 3: Her name is Olivia Bentley and she helps couples stay
Speaker 3: together by sleeping with them. She sleeps with her clients
Speaker 3: in orders to support stability in their marriage.
Speaker 1: Now imagine if that pussy too good, Olivia, she just
Speaker 1: got to keep coming in and then we'll work through.
Speaker 1: Now I'll get married.
Speaker 5: I would say this when I was in a throtle
Speaker 5: with Beard bad and Scissors Scissors, The sex that we
Speaker 5: all had apart from each other was always good until
Speaker 5: the breakup, Like it was good fucking him when I
Speaker 5: wasn't with her, because we would be talking about her.
Speaker 1: Thinking about her.
Speaker 5: He would say things to me about like we were
Speaker 5: all in love with each other, but at the end
Speaker 5: of it it felt hella empty. So the sex definitely
Speaker 5: changes when it's removed. So I think that in that
Speaker 5: case it could spice it up. But at some point
Speaker 5: then you only think like, damn, now we need to
Speaker 5: keep tapping this up. Now we need to like find
Speaker 5: a new bitch, now, we need to have new experiences.
Speaker 5: Like I think, once you stop having enjoyable sex with
Speaker 5: each other, that's a very scary point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I agree, But also sex to some
Speaker 3: people like some people aren't that sexual, like where I
Speaker 3: know I have a high sex drive and I probably
Speaker 3: wanted a lot like Also, I have to realize that
Speaker 3: some people may not be as sexual.
Speaker 1: Now would I be with them? Niggas? No, but don't
Speaker 1: won't you?
Speaker 3: But for people in marriages, sometimes maybe they marry before
Speaker 3: people hit their sex drive.
Speaker 1: That's like you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like some people's sex drive will change while being in
Speaker 3: a relationship, and I wouldn't. I wouldn't suggest someone to
Speaker 3: break up with someone because it didn't match. So maybe
Speaker 3: because if it's maybe it's not enjoyable or you're not
Speaker 3: getting it a much getting it as much.
Speaker 1: People do change with their desires. Bro, That's my greatest fear.
Speaker 5: I literally asked this week two different niggas like, do
Speaker 5: you think I'm a morning or night sex person?
Speaker 3: Both of them were like, you want to fuck all
Speaker 3: the time. If it's daylight, it might be the sun
Speaker 3: coming up going to who knows?
Speaker 1: Same?
Speaker 2: But I was married. I definitely went months with sex
Speaker 2: months once.
Speaker 3: And so when you're married that long and you're going
Speaker 3: once without sex, you though did want it?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, how did you keep from stepping out? Or did
Speaker 3: you communicate. Hey, babe, we haven't had sex and months.
Speaker 2: I didn't communicate. That was probably my problem. I didn't
Speaker 2: communicate with it.
Speaker 1: It would be like get used to it. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I was like, I'm the nightlife guy, so I got
Speaker 6: my show and I go out party. She was the housewife,
Speaker 6: so she had to get up early with the kids.
Speaker 6: I get in through in the morning drunk and she's
Speaker 6: shaking a leg a break downstairs.
Speaker 2: Watch TV.
Speaker 5: What's the longest, because you're you both married in the
Speaker 5: relationships sam amount of time, I'm saying you the old nigga,
Speaker 5: But what's the longest y'all went without because you don't
Speaker 5: have kids A.
Speaker 4: Good week or so we can have How long were
Speaker 4: you were? I mean, uh, like seven years, nigga.
Speaker 1: You've only went a week without sucking her? I mean
Speaker 1: she was great.
Speaker 2: Really sorry.
Speaker 1: I feel like like he's like, really said, you don't
Speaker 1: want to do you want? At the end of the Friday,
Speaker 1: he was just so bad to me.
Speaker 8: We're gonna have two weeks, bro, that's living together. Two
Speaker 8: weeks live was my two weeks off?
Speaker 2: Dog?
Speaker 1: He just said he went more. I even went longer
Speaker 1: than that when I was living with old bay because
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 4: Mad at him exactly.
Speaker 2: Oh so you wasn't given them no?
Speaker 1: And I would masturbate while he was in the house too,
Speaker 1: and hope he heard what de Yeah dang.
Speaker 3: And I didn't even live with my ex and we
Speaker 3: went The only time we didn't have sex was when
Speaker 3: we were broken up. Girl reading home man, Okay, I
Speaker 3: understand we fucking funny, alrighty, home mail, and we need
Speaker 3: your help with this one.
Speaker 1: It's a really short one again.
Speaker 3: If you want to send in your homemail, please send
Speaker 3: it into Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. Hello, y'all.
Speaker 3: Love your podcast. It has educated me on so many
Speaker 3: things regarding sex, dating, and life in general.
Speaker 1: Here's my question.
Speaker 3: I've been fucking this guy for a couple of months.
Speaker 3: I am moving in six months, so I'm not taking
Speaker 3: him seriously and I'm having fun with him until I
Speaker 3: move because I don't have the energy to date anyone
Speaker 3: else right now. He's great in every accent, in every
Speaker 3: aspect except for one. He comes in under five minutes
Speaker 3: every single time.
Speaker 1: Do we get back up?
Speaker 3: At first, I thought he was just excited and didn't
Speaker 3: make him feel bad about it, But come on, tried
Speaker 3: making jokes about it and ask him to pull out
Speaker 3: when he feels like he's about to come, but it
Speaker 3: still doesn't last longer than five minutes. He's great at
Speaker 3: four play, don't get me wrong, But damn, I'm sure
Speaker 3: y'all have already.
Speaker 1: Answered this question one hundred times. We haven't, So I
Speaker 1: was like, but what do I do to help him
Speaker 1: last longer?
Speaker 5: I was gonna say, there's a de sanitizing spray. It's
Speaker 5: a little white bottle. I've seen it in a nigga's
Speaker 5: house before. I didn't know he was using it, But bitch,
Speaker 5: you might just have a more fucking I would say,
Speaker 5: make that nigga some oat mill and drizzle that honeypack,
Speaker 5: and that.
Speaker 1: Bitch make that niggas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just gotta tell the truth, Okay, but you
Speaker 3: gotta tell them, yo, babe, I'm gonna give you this honeypack.
Speaker 1: I've heard so many things about it on horrible decisions
Speaker 1: and other things.
Speaker 5: Also, don't say that's a good point. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 5: say like, oh, it's because your dick can't fucking laugh.
Speaker 1: I say, this is some cool shit. This is supposed
Speaker 1: to be. My son acts like you take one too.
Speaker 1: You took.
Speaker 3: Listen, but that honeypack, bitch, I was begging him like
Speaker 3: they're gonna come. Like the next morning I felt him
Speaker 3: and my stomach still the next morning. I sucked the
Speaker 3: dick the next morning because I it was so much.
Speaker 1: Who would you give to green Eyes? Took it and bitch,
Speaker 1: that's the that's the email I got where.
Speaker 3: That nigga said, going keep sucking your drug induce honey
Speaker 3: pack Dixon.
Speaker 1: But she was so mad he kind of drugs and
Speaker 1: the cancer factory that you lied about it. Bitch, No
Speaker 1: ship pulls the whole, but no the honey peg.
Speaker 3: And he already has good day it can already getting
Speaker 3: back up multiple times.
Speaker 1: It got some nerves, bro, Why don't you lie I
Speaker 1: having cancer?
Speaker 7: You can literally say many Mandy could have a video
Speaker 7: of a game.
Speaker 1: You can't say nothing.
Speaker 3: Lied about being in the hospitals. So of course he
Speaker 3: lies about not the horse coach.
Speaker 1: Can nigga for sympathy. I know he beat it, not
Speaker 1: that he got it, that he some time and life
Speaker 1: he got and beat it. Nigga got it and beat
Speaker 1: it in the five months we have been together. Got bitch,
Speaker 1: drugg you know what I mean? Don't do that. She'ld
Speaker 1: be like, Babe, I'm sorry, I'm just like really having
Speaker 1: a heart beat.
Speaker 5: Hey, I had cancer. Nothing is his hardest. No, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: we don't have to get into it. It was a
Speaker 5: really tough time in my life, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: And if you know I did it, Mandy be she's
Speaker 5: swaped my nant.
Speaker 1: So it's also big.
Speaker 3: I told him beating me every week like I'm beating
Speaker 3: that can't gotta know. I told him stop sucking my fans.
Speaker 3: And he won't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: He is.
Speaker 1: He in the street and get mad at me too,
Speaker 1: he said, fans, he's fucking my fans. Hey, guys, I
Speaker 1: know you're tuned in anyways.
Speaker 3: No, I definitely think the honey pack would work. If
Speaker 3: he's good with four play, we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Get a season desist. And you know what how much
Speaker 1: that called? Because I like much he ain't got it.
Speaker 6: Yep.
Speaker 3: Now I'm talking about your finances. Fuck nigg oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: and just one of that. Honestly, you know, shout stop
Speaker 3: because he'll start sending me this is how much I make?
Speaker 7: Girl.
Speaker 1: He didn't already try to bring up how much money.
Speaker 1: He makes money ten thousand dollars a month at your age,
Speaker 1: let me stop.
Speaker 2: Six figures though, fell for yourself.
Speaker 1: That's that's and we know. I like, I'm just saying
Speaker 1: it's fun to talk about your cancer. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 3: Okay, you better be a rich nigga fucking seventeen host, bitch.
Speaker 3: That's why I was really mad.
Speaker 1: How are you cheating on me? I'm mad.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I want to take he had four bitches.
Speaker 3: He was cheating on me with two of them and
Speaker 3: called me, and I'm like, I want to take you back.
Speaker 3: Every time I pay for dinner. You should have been
Speaker 3: paying my bills if you was gonna be out here
Speaker 3: fucking these home.
Speaker 1: Oh, wasn't one of one of them have money?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: So we know his one of them did have money
Speaker 1: one of them one of them, well technically two of them.
Speaker 1: Of them, I'm sorry you and stuff, damn and what
Speaker 1: on college bills? But the other two, the other two
Speaker 1: was bro. You know what I told you.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to make fun of cancer. Like I'm
Speaker 3: telling you. I've had family members and my best friend
Speaker 3: beat cancer. So do you know how fucked up it
Speaker 3: is to be hear and he out here talking about
Speaker 3: that ship. And you know I dealt with my best
Speaker 3: friend while she actually beat cancer.
Speaker 1: Bro Like, that's already got the material. Don the material. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's how he learned words and it don't do this,
Speaker 1: red bloss all right.
Speaker 3: Okay, spake what would you suggest she does to make
Speaker 3: her partner last longer?
Speaker 1: And also what have you done to last long? I
Speaker 1: know some niggas like start like acting like.
Speaker 2: Grandma.
Speaker 3: I can think about No grandma, motherfucker he's using.
Speaker 1: I use that Okay, I tap in.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh, when I drink too, I'll last long when
Speaker 2: I drink.
Speaker 1: You have a big dig spank, I do. No, you
Speaker 1: have a big nose.
Speaker 5: And we saw the stistic said big noses equal big
Speaker 5: dicks that we did if.
Speaker 1: Studies found I'm not, I'm Mandy. Tell me if you
Speaker 1: if you've noticed this.
Speaker 3: So when niggas last long during sex when they're drunk
Speaker 3: to in my lifetime, it's always big dic niggas, medium
Speaker 3: small dig niggas when they're drunk can't get it up.
Speaker 3: But for some reason, big dig niggas they do.
Speaker 1: Have you seen that be the case.
Speaker 3: I mean, all my men have big decks. You're gonna
Speaker 3: make me go look at all their noses. I'm actually
Speaker 3: gonna go back and look at the noses. But all
Speaker 3: of them got big digs.
Speaker 1: I told you.
Speaker 3: If it's I can't do it, oh not the moment
Speaker 3: my period, I do. And bitch, that's why I only
Speaker 3: take it once a quarter. My boo dog gotta get
Speaker 3: back to normal.
Speaker 1: Let them niggas die like your booty. Sometimes sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: just in the mood like you got it on the calendar?
Speaker 1: What quarterly? Once a quarter? So anyway, this is what
Speaker 1: you gotta do. Okay.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying you got a lot of this nigga,
Speaker 5: A lot of this nigga. All you gotta do is
Speaker 5: be like, babe, I want to have a fucking wild night.
Speaker 5: I was listening to Horrible Decisions and they were talking
Speaker 5: about like the honey packs.
Speaker 1: I found the girl version.
Speaker 5: Just say that you did, girl, get a little Hey,
Speaker 5: this all you gotta do, bitch, get a little vitamin.
Speaker 5: See the emergency act like you pouring that shitty yours
Speaker 5: and then stir his up. Bitch, you gonna be motherfucking hydrated.
Speaker 3: And he you know what, I didn't think about that
Speaker 3: make it seem like you're also taking a step that
Speaker 3: would be fun.
Speaker 1: That was very smart. Damn you're conniving manipulator right here
Speaker 1: for that connection one on what well when I beat cancer,
Speaker 1: spake letting people know where they can listen to you
Speaker 1: follow you?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, and look spake clearly. I don't know
Speaker 3: what you thought you was walking into today, but thank
Speaker 3: you for joining us.
Speaker 4: Yes, all the ship.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it. You can follow me on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 2: spanink Horton. What else I got?
Speaker 6: I got a website, Spain Horton dot com. Uh, listen
Speaker 6: to me on the radio every Tuesday and Thursday. Well
Speaker 6: serious XM channel ninety six call Straight from the Heart.
Speaker 6: keV Heart used to be on it, but he quick
Speaker 6: because he's so and we not PC and these busy
Speaker 6: as hell too. That's the reason why quick. So it
Speaker 6: was just the other guys pass the couple boys is
Speaker 6: Wayne Naim. We all travel with cavs, so we called
Speaker 6: the Plaza cup Boys.
Speaker 1: So, and what's the type of conversation. That's a good name.
Speaker 2: We talk about topics and.
Speaker 3: The worst.
Speaker 1: About topics. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: What's going on in the world today?
Speaker 1: We talk about top topics.
Speaker 2: You know, ship going on out here?
Speaker 1: Headline?
Speaker 2: Yeah I do. I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't have a lone of show though trending topics.
Speaker 6: If that sounds better, We talk about topics. Uh, all
Speaker 6: of us got our own segments. I got segments called
Speaker 6: man law. I got segments called scenarios. I got segments
Speaker 6: called man law.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. You never want to hear it.
Speaker 3: I don't think anything good could come from give me,
Speaker 3: give me, give me, give me two man laws real quick. Uh?
Speaker 2: No, man should have two mint balls in his mouth
Speaker 2: at the same time. To what minton balls? Mint ball?
Speaker 2: You ain't never seen mints like a mint a ticket.
Speaker 2: It's a mint, but they got a whole minton balls
Speaker 2: like this like a mentos, but it's a minton ball. Oh,
Speaker 2: you can't have two in the month at the same time.
Speaker 1: Why not? Because we give him both give his sexual
Speaker 1: sexual but okay, pause moments.
Speaker 2: It sounds about give me another one.
Speaker 6: Uh after sex, fellas, Uh, don't walk around in the
Speaker 6: house with no draws on the T shirt.
Speaker 1: Bullshit.
Speaker 2: I love that. That got the bottom of your ass
Speaker 2: hanging out.
Speaker 1: Come on, he keeps on keep during sex. That's fucking
Speaker 1: weird during sex Syria and they let you still suck him.
Speaker 2: I do too. I got bad tools though I was dark.
Speaker 2: I played ball in my whole life stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, athletes and they're not all.
Speaker 2: Dark, I know, but maybe I was a dirty.
Speaker 1: Actually that's not my experience. Say you see him at
Speaker 1: the beach yourself.
Speaker 3: I put toes in my mouth and so I'm like, oh, look,
Speaker 3: I would put a black toe in my mouth.
Speaker 1: Now black. We'll take it, all right, y'all. Check us
Speaker 1: out on hype dot com for your tickets to see
Speaker 1: us talk puts the hole. Make sure you pull up alrighty.
Speaker 1: You want to also support.
Speaker 3: Us and you want more content with just Weezy and I,
Speaker 3: or you want to join us on a town hall
Speaker 3: where you get to join us in an episode, make
Speaker 3: sure you head on over to patreon dot com Backslash
Speaker 3: Horrible Decisions, beach all right and spank, thank you so
Speaker 3: much for joining us. You wasn't ready, he was nervous.
Speaker 3: You was fiddling your thumb.
Speaker 2: I need.
Speaker 6: You need?
Speaker 1: How has been another episode of four Precision and bye
Speaker 1: say by sp