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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Carly, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive. My mother

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Speaker 2: hijacked our engagement, so I went low contact with her.

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Speaker 3: You should go know contact with her.

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Speaker 2: I proposed to my girlfriend of over two years in

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Speaker 2: Hawaii about a week ago. It was something we had

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Speaker 2: thoroughly discussed and we're looking forward to. I had told

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Speaker 2: her parents, grandma, and best friend, as these were the

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Speaker 2: people she expressed she wanted me to reach out to

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Speaker 2: before I did so as well, I told a couple

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Speaker 2: of my buddies to share my excitement and pick my brain.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from users spatium Ignarious and

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Speaker 2: if she want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay story I'm subbured it.

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Speaker 4: I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and we are here to

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Speaker 4: give you.

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Speaker 2: Good advice school funny, but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, so let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. I was

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Speaker 2: worried about sharing this with my family as they tend

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Speaker 2: to be too involved in my life and relationships, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't want their opinions tainting this decision for me.

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Speaker 2: My sister before our trip had a private conversation with

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Speaker 2: me where she asked if I was going to do

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Speaker 2: something stupid in Hawaii. As a side note, she's my

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Speaker 2: older sister and has been with her boyfriend for about

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Speaker 2: four years now. We decided it would be best to

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Speaker 2: share the news in person when we got home, and

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Speaker 2: after my mom picked us up, we went to their

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Speaker 2: house to see my mom, grandma.

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Speaker 5: And sister.

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Speaker 2: When we shared the news, we were met with silence

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Speaker 2: and my mom saying she wish she knew or was involved.

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Speaker 2: We got a half heated congrats and hug and my

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Speaker 2: sister asked if her family knew. I told her that

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Speaker 2: my fiance wished me to speak to her parents. Then

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Speaker 2: my sister made a comment about being the second choice

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Speaker 2: and stormed off. My grandma only said she knew it

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Speaker 2: was going to happen and that's it. That reaction felt

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Speaker 2: very hurtful considering how they hijacked our good news for

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Speaker 2: their feelings and we only got one congrats that was

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Speaker 2: half hearted. My mom even made my fiance put the

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Speaker 2: ring on and asked sarcastically, what's the plan. I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure how to approach going forward or if they have

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Speaker 2: any validity in feeling sore about any of this. There

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Speaker 2: are some comments, but come at one. I feel like

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Speaker 2: we need more information here. Different cultures have different norms

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Speaker 2: around engagements in marriage. What are the expectations in your culture?

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Speaker 2: What are their reasons for their lack of enthusiasm? Have

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Speaker 2: they expressed concerns about your fiance? Opie says, my family

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Speaker 2: is Natalian American family, so you can imagine the stereotypes

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Speaker 2: of being very controlling and involved in relationships. In my case,

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Speaker 2: I find that to be true, and I will say

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Speaker 2: that I've had several conversations with my family regarding my

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Speaker 2: relationships and appropriate boundaries. I've had disagreements with both my

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Speaker 2: mom and sister regarding their comments and opinions because they're

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Speaker 2: unwanted and harmful towards my well being. My fiance has

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Speaker 2: always been respectful to my family, has never openly expressed

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Speaker 2: to them any frustrations, and continues to want to try

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Speaker 2: and foster a good relationship with them. My mom and

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Speaker 2: sister have both said they have no issue with her necessarily.

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Speaker 5: Comment number two.

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Speaker 2: I mean you didn't tell them you were planning to

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Speaker 2: do it because you believe they would taint the decision

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 5: So you already knew they wouldn't be happy about the engagement.

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Speaker 5: Then when you told them.

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Speaker 2: They were not happy about the engagement, it sounds like

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Speaker 2: the issue isn't their reaction to the engagement.

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Speaker 5: It's much bigger than that. It's that they don't approve

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Speaker 5: of your fiance.

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Speaker 2: OPI says, Well, they've overstepped boundaries I've expressed before, and

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Speaker 2: when I've asked them, they've said they have no issue

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Speaker 2: with my fiance. They've talked to me about things they've

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Speaker 2: seen that concerned them, and I've found them to be

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Speaker 2: out of touch. For example, my mom thinks my fiance

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Speaker 2: rushes me out of the house when we visit, even

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Speaker 2: though I've always been the one to say we're gonna

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Speaker 2: head out.

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Speaker 3: Hear me out.

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Speaker 4: You might both kind of blaming things on the fiance.

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Speaker 6: Maybe what do you mean, no, he is yeah, what

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Speaker 6: do you mean, I'm thinking, like, you know, like she

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Speaker 6: like maybe the mom is like, oh, like you always

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Speaker 6: rush out the door, blah blah blah, and he's like, whoa,

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Speaker 6: you know, like he doesn't specifically say that it's him

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Speaker 6: doing it, you know, he's like so they just think

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Speaker 6: that oh, he like maybe he doesn't want to spend

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Speaker 6: time with them, and so he does rush her out

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Speaker 6: the door.

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Speaker 3: But then they blame it on her.

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Speaker 4: But he never like actually says, oh, that's actually like

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Speaker 4: I'm the one who wants to leave.

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Speaker 3: Like they just are like, oh, like it must be.

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Speaker 4: Her, see where I'm going, Like they kind of are

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Speaker 4: choosing her to put the blame on instead of just

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Speaker 4: like each other, like she's not I feel.

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Speaker 3: Like she's not doing anything wrong. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I haven't gotten a lot of context with her, but

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Speaker 4: I don't know, and I got to meet at What's

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Speaker 4: the PASTA sauce like.

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Speaker 2: Comment three says, I mean you he did tell her

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Speaker 2: family ahead of time and waited until after to tell yours.

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Speaker 2: So that is treating them different and having your family

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Speaker 2: be second.

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Speaker 5: You seem to have your.

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Speaker 2: Reasons for doing so, but even if your reasons are sound,

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Speaker 2: you can't control how they react to being purposefully told

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Speaker 2: after her family. I do wonder if there's other ways

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Speaker 2: you guys have favored her family over the last two years.

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Speaker 2: That's created the resentment your family feels. That happened with

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Speaker 2: my brother's first marriage, and while my family didn't make

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Speaker 2: a fuss over it, it was annoying for them to

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Speaker 2: always put her family above ours.

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Speaker 5: I was glad when she left.

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Speaker 2: Going forward, I think you'll have to figure out whether

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Speaker 2: you're going to treat her family different than you treat yours,

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Speaker 2: or try to treat them as evenly as possible, And

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Speaker 2: if you're not going to treat them equally, figure out

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Speaker 2: how you're going to handle it. When your family figures

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Speaker 2: it out, whether it's being honest about things they do,

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Speaker 2: being the reason, or just dealing with their ire oh

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Speaker 2: P replies, the only reason her family knew comes from

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Speaker 2: fairly traditional proposal etiquette of asking for a blessing from

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Speaker 2: her parents. I spend a lot of time deliberating and

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Speaker 2: didn't feel that it was necessary to tell my family

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Speaker 2: since it's a very personal choice and I wanted it

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Speaker 2: to be a surprise. We told them the second we

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Speaker 2: found it appropriate, as soon as we landed back home.

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Speaker 2: I don't think we've treated my family any different. Her

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Speaker 2: family is very laid back and open, which makes it

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Speaker 2: easy to do things with them and share. When I

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Speaker 2: try the same approach with mine, I'm met with ire

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Speaker 2: and shame, which makes it difficult. Yet we still do try,

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Speaker 2: and thus why I'm asking for opinions.

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Speaker 5: I'm at for.

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Speaker 2: My mom got very negative with me when I was

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Speaker 2: divorcing my husband. I clearly and succinctly told her that

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Speaker 2: she either starts supporting me or I would cut her

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Speaker 2: off from me and my kids. It is so important

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Speaker 2: to start setting clear boundaries with them now. Nothing else

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Speaker 2: will work. They will work hard to ruin this for

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Speaker 2: you and your fiance. How their acting is rude and selfish.

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Speaker 2: Even if they feel like you're making a mistake, it's

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Speaker 2: your mistake and they should support you anyway. Also tell

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Speaker 2: your mom if she wants to see future grandchildren, she

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Speaker 2: needs to change her attitude. People treat you the way

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Speaker 2: you allow them to. Don't let them ruin this happy

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Speaker 2: time for you and your fiance. Opie replies, I'm sorry

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Speaker 2: you had to deal with that. For reference, my parents

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Speaker 2: are divorced and I didn't have a relationship with my

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Speaker 2: dad's side. My grandmother and aunt did the same things

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Speaker 2: to her that she and my sister are doing to

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Speaker 2: my fiance. All that to say, I'm not interested in

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Speaker 2: letting history repeat itself. Thank you so much for your words,

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Speaker 2: and we do have a little update ride here.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 7: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I can see both sides, but I also

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Speaker 4: I do think that like the actions that Opie took

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Speaker 4: to do this, you know, like them like treating the

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Speaker 4: fiance's family different. I think that there are differences in it,

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Speaker 4: But I.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: It seems I feel like I'm not getting everything in

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Speaker 4: the story. I feel like I'm just getting, you know,

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Speaker 4: obviously o p side, But I do I would like

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Speaker 4: to know more about like what the family you know

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Speaker 4: has done, because I feel like the things that he's

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Speaker 4: talking about aren't really that huge of issues.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it was more just like I think it

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Speaker 2: they her family knew or the fiance's family knew because

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Speaker 2: you were asking for permission, you know. And it's like

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Speaker 2: I can understand not wanting to tell your parents until after,

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Speaker 2: because it's like if you tell your parents and your

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Speaker 2: family before everybody's the Peanut Gallery.

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Speaker 5: Is all gonna have something to say, Oh no, don't

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Speaker 5: do it like that, do it like this, don't do

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Speaker 5: it there? Do it here? Oh, don't do it that

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Speaker 5: time of day? Do it then? Like, Oh, what's the

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Speaker 5: what kind of ring you got?

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Speaker 8: Ah?

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Speaker 5: That ring sucks?

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Speaker 2: Like It's just like I'm gonna tell them that we're

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Speaker 2: engaged and that I proposed after I do it. Three

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Speaker 2: months update, It has now been over three months since

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Speaker 2: that happened. I wish I could say things have improved,

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Speaker 2: but unfortunately they've gotten worse.

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Speaker 3: No, how could they get worse?

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Speaker 5: Let's find out.

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Speaker 2: My fiance and I have can continued building our life

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Speaker 2: together and planning our wedding, but my mom and sister

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Speaker 2: have not reached out in any healthy or supportive way.

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Speaker 2: After months of silence other than random texts not addressing

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Speaker 2: the elephant in the room, and even then that was

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Speaker 2: more recent, my sister finally messaged me recently. She wanted

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Speaker 2: to have a conversation with just her brother and wouldn't

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Speaker 2: entertain a conversation to start with my fiance included. Instead

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Speaker 2: of accountability or a real attempt to make things right,

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Speaker 2: she sent a guilt filled text accusing me of treating

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Speaker 2: my family like they don't matter, saying I was being

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Speaker 2: controlled by outside voices and closing with how you're treating

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Speaker 2: the only family you have left. Fun fact, I actually

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Speaker 2: just made a family with my wife. We're building our

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Speaker 2: life and our family together and being controlled by outside voices,

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Speaker 2: So you would rather the voices that control me be

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Speaker 2: yours instead of just controlling myself.

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Speaker 4: Talking about like like outside voices, they're like saying, like

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Speaker 4: the fiance, yeah.

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Speaker 2: But it's like, so what's the what's the what's the

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Speaker 2: contradiction to that? Or like what's the what's the other

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Speaker 2: side of that coin? Are they saying that they would

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Speaker 2: rather you just listen to your family, yeah, and consult

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Speaker 2: them and and have their voice inside your head.

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's just too much, Like I just think, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, I'm gonna do what I want, and I

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Speaker 4: it's either you're with me or you're not. If you're not,

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Speaker 4: then why do you care? Like if you know, like

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Speaker 4: why would you if it bothers you so much? Then,

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Speaker 4: like you know, I'm giving you this opportunity to just

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Speaker 4: like cut ties and not talk, and you're just like, no,

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Speaker 4: I still want you to be a part of our life,

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Speaker 4: but I'm still gonna make it really hard and annoying

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Speaker 4: for you.

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Speaker 5: That last line hit hard.

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Speaker 2: Our uncle recently passed away, and it felt like she

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Speaker 2: was weaponizing that loss to hurt me. The message was

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Speaker 2: manipulative and avoided any responsibility for the way they reacted

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Speaker 2: to my engagement. I realized that responding would only pull

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Speaker 2: me back into the same cycle that's exact for years,

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Speaker 2: where I'm expected to smooth things over while they refuse

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Speaker 2: to reflect on their behavior.

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Speaker 5: So I didn't reply.

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Speaker 3: I think we kind of said everything.

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Speaker 5: OHPI continues.

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Speaker 2: Even when well meaning people, including my fiance's mom, suggests

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Speaker 2: that I might try a one on one talk to

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Speaker 2: ease the tension, I realize that doing so right now

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Speaker 2: would mean betraying my self respect. There's been no apology,

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Speaker 2: no ownership, and no acknowledgment that the problem began when

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Speaker 2: they turned my engagement announcement into something about them. At

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Speaker 2: this point, I'm maintaining silence until there's genuine change. I'm

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Speaker 2: not closing the door forever, but I'm no longer willing

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Speaker 2: to carry the emotional responsibility for people who won't meet

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Speaker 2: me halfway any thoughts or advice, and that is the

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Speaker 2: end of that story. But I do I have to

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Speaker 2: say that maintaining silence until there's genuine change and then

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Speaker 2: saying that you're not closing the door forever. You kind

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Speaker 2: of are, yeah, because if you just go silent, they

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Speaker 2: don't know what they need to do or what they

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Speaker 2: should do.

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Speaker 8: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 8: on to the next one.

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Speaker 4: My long distance girlfriend flirts with her trainer but treats

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Speaker 4: me casually.

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Speaker 5: That should be your long distance ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 4: At the end of last year, twenty twenty four, I

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Speaker 4: twenty seven male met a girl twenty five female online

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Speaker 4: on a dating app. At the time, I was twenty

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Speaker 4: six and she was twenty five, and we started a

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Speaker 4: long distance relationship. She lived in another city and that

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Speaker 4: was a hindrance to the relationship, but I really fell

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Speaker 4: in love with her and started having plans to move

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Speaker 4: to her city and we could be together. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from Competitive Ring five four seven nine, And

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Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 4: the rs slash Okay Storytime Suburn and I am Savannah,

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Speaker 4: I am Dakota, and we are here to give good advice.

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Speaker 4: Goofully it, but we do not have all of the ANSAs.

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Speaker 4: We would only tell you what we would do in

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Speaker 4: this situation, and we would love to know what.

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Speaker 3: You would do in the commons.

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Speaker 4: As Op says, at first, she seemed like a perfect person, mature, discreet,

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Speaker 4: and intelligent, unlike most of the girls I had dated before,

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Speaker 4: and that captivated me this apparent maturity of hers. I

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Speaker 4: had already had a relationship with a girl with diagnosed

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Speaker 4: borderline who kept having bouts of jealousy and getting into

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Speaker 4: fights with me. But this girl in question was different.

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Speaker 4: She seemed much more mature and common that at first

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Speaker 4: captivated me. She had a very captivating personality, as she

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Speaker 4: was fond, funny, and lively, and at the same time

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Speaker 4: you could notice a certain shyness in her. She kept

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Speaker 4: saying that she was shy and it took her a

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Speaker 4: while to be able to let go, etc. In the meantime,

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Speaker 4: as the months went by and talking about calls every day,

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Speaker 4: we started to fall in love and I started talking

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Speaker 4: about my desire to be with her, to go to

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Speaker 4: her city to be together, and she seemed to respond.

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Speaker 4: Everything was going well, but one detail had caught my attention,

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Speaker 4: and I found it curious. She had never talked about

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Speaker 4: spicy sleep with me, sent a sensual photo, or anything

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00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,280
Speaker 4: like that. In more than six months of conversation. This,

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00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,040
Speaker 4: in a way was a little frustrating for me. After all,

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Speaker 4: we are adults, and that's something normal in a relationship

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Speaker 4: between an adult man and woman who love each other.

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Speaker 4: I imagined it because she was a shy and reserved

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Speaker 4: person like she always said she was, and I understood fine,

300
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:27,200
Speaker 4: until out of nowhere, things started to get weird. One

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Speaker 4: first one day, when she had traveled with her family

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Speaker 4: to a neighboring city where her family had a house,

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Speaker 4: she sent me a photo of a glass of wine

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Speaker 4: to surprise me and see my reaction. As she had

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Speaker 4: always said that she didn't drink. I thought it was

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00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,920
Speaker 4: strange for her to do that since she didn't drink,

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00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,400
Speaker 4: and it made me jealous. After all, there were several

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00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 4: men there next to her. It was a street party.

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Speaker 4: She laughed and said that she was just trying it

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Speaker 4: and that she liked it but wasn't going to start drinking.

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Speaker 4: Soon after, she said that a girl who was there

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Speaker 4: said that wine made a p and excited. I quickly

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00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,240
Speaker 4: realized that she was trying to make me jealous since

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00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 4: the photos showed that there were men near her, and

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00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,320
Speaker 4: she knew that I would be uncomfortable. All said and done.

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Speaker 4: She posted a photo in front of the mirror in

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Speaker 4: her room wearing a super sensual bikini on her profile,

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00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 4: looking like she wanted to show off her body and

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00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,520
Speaker 4: get validation of how hot she was. This frustrated me

320
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,320
Speaker 4: because it was a photo for all her contacts to see,

321
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 4: and the photo was really, really, really, very flashy and exaggerated.

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00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,920
Speaker 4: She posted an old hashtag throwback Thursday photo that was

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Speaker 4: her at a party with friends, and in that photo,

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Speaker 4: she was wearing a very short dress that you could

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Speaker 4: almost see her panties, whereas the other girls in the

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00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,120
Speaker 4: photo were wearing a normal dress.

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Speaker 5: Brother, I don't like where this is going.

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Speaker 3: What else?

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Speaker 2: I don't think you need a girlfriend right now. I

330
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 2: think you need to actually read a book. Yeah, in

331
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Speaker 2: the library, go to the library and just read. Don't

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Speaker 2: look for a girlfriend, just read.

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Speaker 3: So what else could you nitpick?

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's just like she's posting pictures and her

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Speaker 4: dress is shorter than all the other women.

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Speaker 2: He's just looking for an Amish trad wife, That's what

337
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 2: he's looking for.

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Speaker 4: This scared me at the time, and I ended up

339
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 4: combining this photo with the one with the sensual bikini,

340
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 4: and I realized that in fact, she wasn't anything modest.

341
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,000
Speaker 4: She liked to show off her body with sexy clothes

342
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,120
Speaker 4: and bikinis, and I started to think that I was

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00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,680
Speaker 4: acting like a fool, since she had never been spicy

344
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,040
Speaker 4: related with me, But she didn't see a problem with

345
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 4: second self to other people. She always talked a lot

346
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 4: about her family. She was jealous of her parents and

347
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 4: her brother and always wanted to be the center of attention.

348
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,920
Speaker 4: Once she said that her uncle bought chocolate for all

349
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,720
Speaker 4: her cousins, but he had forgotten to buy it for her,

350
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,640
Speaker 4: and she spent two hours complaining, saying how hurt she

351
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 4: was by her uncle and that she felt very sad.

352
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 4: A few days later, she said that they had understood

353
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 4: each other and that he I apologize to her. She

354
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 4: liked to punish me coldly, and when something didn't go

355
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 4: the way she wanted, everything had to be her way.

356
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 4: She was also jealous of my female friendships, but she

357
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,960
Speaker 4: always had a lot of male friends and I never

358
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 4: said anything. She got a new job and everything started

359
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,439
Speaker 4: to be about her. She started to act in an

360
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:23,160
Speaker 4: egocentric way at that time, talking all the time about

361
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 4: how happy she was in this new job, how people

362
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 4: had praised her appearance there, the plans she had with

363
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 4: the money she was going to earn there, which included

364
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 4: buying cosmetics supplements, joining the gym, and blah blah blah.

365
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 4: I feel like that's not when you have a new job,

366
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:36,639
Speaker 4: you want to talk about it.

367
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 5: And this about his ex?

368
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 3: No, right, no, this is did they mention it X?

369
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 5: Yeah his ex had BPD. Oh because they have they

370
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 5: met up yet?

371
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 4: No, this is still the woman that like, he's never

372
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 4: met but in a relationship for six months and they

373
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Speaker 4: don't share spicy photos and.

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Speaker 5: Now he's like, oh, she's like talking about stuff. Ah,

375
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,720
Speaker 5: because she's talking about her life and now she's happy.

376
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,119
Speaker 4: I tried to be attentive and show support, but I

377
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 4: started to realize that she really wanted to monopolize the

378
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 4: conversation by talking only about herself. It would never stop

379
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 4: talking about these these things about her. She no longer

380
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 4: asked anything about me or talked about our relationship. It

381
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 4: became all about her. When she was already in this job,

382
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 4: she started to become hyper focused on buying clothes, especially

383
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 4: Jim clothes, and then she started sending me several photos

384
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 4: of sexy clothes, asking my opinion again, seeming like she

385
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 4: was sending photos of exaggeratedly short clothes on purpose to

386
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 4: make me jealous. Like, okay, you tell her to send photo. Well,

387
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,920
Speaker 4: you don't even tell her to send photos, but you're

388
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 4: you want photos.

389
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 3: Then she gives you the photo. You're like, who else

390
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 3: you said this?

391
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Speaker 5: This guy's hopeless? Like, this guy's hopeless.

392
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 4: This it seems like you know catch twenty two here.

393
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 5: No, he's hopeless.

394
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 4: And then one day she sent a photo of Jim

395
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,560
Speaker 4: shorts that were so tight that the models the jayjay,

396
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,679
Speaker 4: and the photo was showing she showed her jealousy, and

397
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 4: she pretended to be jealous that I had noticed that

398
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 4: I was marking a jayjay of the model in the photo.

399
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,919
Speaker 4: She had certainly noticed it too, and sent the photo

400
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,119
Speaker 4: to leave in my subconscious that she would be the

401
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 4: one with her, but JJ marked when she wore the shorts.

402
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, I hate you, bro. Stop talking to people.

403
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 2: Stop talking to everyone, talk to no one. Get in

404
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,120
Speaker 2: the pit. Get in the pit. You belong in the pit,

405
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 2: little pit person, Get in the pit.

406
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 4: She started making jokes mocking my appearance. I took it

407
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,360
Speaker 4: as a joke, but over time I started to get

408
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 4: upset because she got worse, to the point where it

409
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 4: seemed like she was really trying to humiliate me and

410
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 4: put me down. Then there was a day when I

411
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 4: got angry and complained to her. She played the victim,

412
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,119
Speaker 4: saying she was just joking and she was very hurt

413
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 4: that I thought she was doing this to humiliate me,

414
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 4: because according to her, she would never do that. But

415
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 4: at no point did she apologize to me. She made

416
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 4: the situation about her and how hurt she was that

417
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,919
Speaker 4: I accused her of wanting to put me down. A

418
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 4: while later, she was increasingly colder towards me, and I

419
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 4: decided to distance myself from her. We stopped talking, but

420
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 4: a month and a half later she came to me again,

421
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,159
Speaker 4: saying that she had dreamt of me and that she

422
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 4: received a warning in the dream that I could be

423
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 4: in danger, and that's why she decided to warn me.

424
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 4: Then she started talking to me, and because I still

425
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 4: liked her, I accepted the approach and we ended up

426
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 4: talking again.

427
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 5: Why do you still like her?

428
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 2: Everything you've said leads me to believe you kind of

429
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 2: despise her.

430
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it seems like you're kind of jealous of her

431
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 4: for just liking her.

432
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 2: I have a theory you're desperate. That's never a good vibe.

433
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 7: Yeah.

434
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,719
Speaker 4: But then a few days later I see her tagging

435
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 4: her personal trainer and a TikTok meme, and I questioned her.

436
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 4: I already knew that she had joined the gym, but

437
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 4: I didn't know that she was training with a male

438
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,719
Speaker 4: personal trainer. And in that she said that she had

439
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 4: hired a male personal trainer, but that he was married

440
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 4: and had never hit on her.

441
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 2: You got anything, Get off the dating apps, better yourself.

442
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: You're not ready for this dog, not ready for this

443
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 2: big dog. And you know what, I may be a

444
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: little harsh on you right now, but it's because you're

445
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 2: acting like a weirdo. Okay, so big dog, you got

446
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:08,680
Speaker 2: some big changes to me.

447
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just it breaks of desperation and of like

448
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 4: low self esteem and just wanting to like control.

449
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're talking about all this stuff where it's like, oh,

450
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 2: and she does this and she sent that because this

451
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: and blah blah blah.

452
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 5: It's like, hey, I have an idea.

453
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 2: Stop talking to this girl you've never spent a single

454
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 2: second with in the same room like before it just

455
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: it's okay.

456
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 5: You can just stop talking to her.

457
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the good thing about long distance is that

458
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 4: you're not really together, so you can just be like, hey,

459
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 4: I don't really like this anymore.

460
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: Peace.

461
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 4: But instead you're choosing to just stick with her and

462
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 4: then complain about it.

463
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 5: Got weird, Juju man, all right, let's.

464
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 3: See what the update is.

465
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 4: But she was tagging the guy in memes as if

466
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 4: they were very intimate, which even made me suspicious as

467
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,479
Speaker 4: to whether he really was married, since if it was

468
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 4: probably the guy's wife, what did he feel comfortable with

469
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 4: a student acting like she was so close and friends

470
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 4: with him tagging him in memes?

471
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: For me, it ended up being.

472
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 4: The last straw, and I decided to walk away since

473
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 4: I didn't feel comfortable in this relationship and I felt

474
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 4: like I wasn't a priority for her and it wouldn't work.

475
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,959
Speaker 4: A month has already passed, and I still think about

476
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 4: her a lot. Sometimes I miss her. Sometimes I brood

477
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 4: and feel angry about the way she treated me, And

478
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 4: sometimes I think that maybe it's my fault for the

479
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 4: way I handled things, that I could have acted differently

480
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 4: and things could have been different.

481
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 5: We're on maybe the right track.

482
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 2: Hey, but I don't not the right lens to be

483
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: looking through. I think I think you need to be

484
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 2: more focused on. Why did I want to maintain is

485
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship with this girl? What do I

486
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 2: want out of a relationship? Like? Come on, man, being like,

487
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 2: she hasn't hit me on any spicy, weird, being weird.

488
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's the end of this story. We're going to

489
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 8: go on to the next one.

490
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 2: My boyfriend gave me zero effort even after I flew

491
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: across the country.

492
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 4: For him, Then give him zero kisses.

493
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now.

494
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 2: We have a healthy relationship and we communicate a lot. However,

495
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: a massive issue for us is the fact that we

496
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 2: are long distance. We've been periodically making an effort to

497
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 2: see each other at least once a month for the

498
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: past two years, but now that he has gone away

499
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,120
Speaker 2: to UNI, we cannot exactly do that anymore. By the way,

500
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: this comes from user Cheesy Breadstix eleven and if you

501
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

502
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subrittan. I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and

503
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

504
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 2: have all the answers really know what we would do,

505
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 2: so tell us what you would do in the comments.

506
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 5: As Op says, I have kind of.

507
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 2: Felt this way even before he went away to UNI,

508
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 2: because when we see each other, I want to make

509
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 2: the most of our time together by going out, experiencing

510
00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 2: new things together and being interment. However, my boyfriend has

511
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 2: no get up and go about him. My boyfriend is

512
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: happy just sitting on the sofa all day, napping and

513
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: watching TV or anime together and cuddling up.

514
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 5: You see.

515
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 2: I wouldn't mind that if we lived close together, but

516
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 2: because our time together when we get the chance is

517
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: so finite, I want to make the most of it.

518
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: It makes sense to do that at my house every

519
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: once in a while because I live in the countryside

520
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 2: and the town near me doesn't have much in the

521
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 2: way of sight seeing. But he lives in London, where

522
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 2: there are loads of things to see and do, things

523
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 2: he has not experienced, and yet I feel it is

524
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 2: a chore to get him out of the house and

525
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 2: do stuff with Whenever I stay at his place, I'm

526
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 2: always the one waking up at a reasonable time getting

527
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 2: ready for the day and having breakfast before half past ten,

528
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 2: but then when he gets up and ready, it takes

529
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 2: an hour and a half, and because he wakes up late,

530
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 2: by the time he is dressed and washed, noon has

531
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: already gone by and most of our day has been wasted.

532
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 5: No joke.

533
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 2: This one time, while I was at his place, I

534
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 2: specifically requested that we going to walk to the local

535
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 2: sem mitary and take some picture and he said okay, but.

536
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 5: Then proceeded to have a two to three hour nap.

537
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 2: By the time we got out of the house was

538
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 2: five pm and it began to rain, so we just

539
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: gave up and went back home. During that nap he took,

540
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 2: I had time to watch a movie, do some of

541
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: my homework, and work on a chapter in a novel

542
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 2: I'm writing. The worst part was that this was my

543
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 2: last full day with him before going home for that month.

544
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: This kind of thing has happened a noticeable amount of

545
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 2: times now, especially when I go to stay over at

546
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 2: his place, and then when I do get him out

547
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 2: of the house, it feels like I'm forcing him to

548
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: I brought this up with him, and granted at the

549
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 2: time it was because he had an ingrown toenail and

550
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 2: was feeling sleepy or whatever, so he did not have

551
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 2: the energy to be enthusiastic, which is fair enough. But

552
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 2: the thing is, when we're going out to do something

553
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 2: he likes, like seeing a war museum, he is enthusiastic

554
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 2: and constantly info dumping onto me. He's one of those

555
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 2: nerdy autistic types that loves military stuff.

556
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 3: I didn't know that was a category.

557
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: It's a spectrum in this this one instance, my mom

558
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 2: booked us two tickets to see Spirited Away at the

559
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: theater for my birthday. The reason she did this is

560
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 2: because I saw the ad for it and looked into

561
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: it myself because my boyfriend really liked Studio Ghibli and

562
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 2: I liked theater.

563
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 5: So I thought it would be a great opportunity to bond.

564
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 2: But when I looked at the tickets, it would be

565
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 2: like two hundred to three hundred for the.

566
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 5: Both of us to go.

567
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a bill that would make your wig go flying.

568
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 2: And my mother, blessed her heart, saw this and decided

569
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 2: to pay for it instead. So I told my boyfriend

570
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: the news, expecting him to be excited because he loves

571
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 2: Studio Ghibli and in fact wants to get into the

572
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 2: animation industry to be like the creator of the studio.

573
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 2: And yet he could not be less enthusiastic for the

574
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 2: simple fact that it was a theater and it meant

575
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 2: going out into the city instead of staying in the

576
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 2: comfort of his or my home.

577
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 5: I mean, he ended up enjoying the show. But it's

578
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 5: the principle.

579
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 2: This is like an attitude that you should develop by

580
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: the time you're like in your fifties, Like, ah, I

581
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: don't want to you're like young, you were your girlfriend.

582
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 2: She surprised you with this, and you like can't be

583
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 2: like excited to go out just because you have to

584
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 2: go somewhere.

585
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 5: That's whack, bro.

586
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 4: Yeah. That also is just like really demeaning, like cause

587
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 4: it's like she's trying every single way to try to

588
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 4: get you to like get up, like literally like getting

589
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 4: tickets to like things that you like, in hopes that

590
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 4: you would like so show some appreciations, some enthusiasts enthusiasm,

591
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 4: you know, as to like, oh this is fun, thank you,

592
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 4: Like oh my gosh, yeah, let's go do this like

593
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 4: it's our last night or whatever. But instead she's met

594
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 4: with just like well, I wish like we could have

595
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 4: just watched it at home, but like that's fine, Like yeah.

596
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 2: And then he was enthusiastic later, but it's like yeah again,

597
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 2: it's the principle. I think you might need to start

598
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: looking to invest in a different boyfriend.

599
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 3: I agree.

600
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 2: The final thing that ticks me off was the summer

601
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 2: holiday of this year. Both of us acknowledged that this

602
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 2: would be the prime time to bond because it would

603
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: be the last time we got to see each other

604
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: until he went to UNI. So he and his parents

605
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 2: months before said they would take me to Italy with

606
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 2: them for this summer holiday so I could meet the

607
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 2: rest of his family. His family are all Italians.

608
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 5: I was like.

609
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 2: Bet and got super hype for this upcoming trip. But

610
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 2: then his granddad fell ill and they went on their

611
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: own without me, which that was fair enough, But get this.

612
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 2: I asked my boyfriend how long he would be away for,

613
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 2: and first he said a week, and then it was

614
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 2: two weeks, and then the next thing I knew, it

615
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 2: was pretty much a full month. He ended up staying there,

616
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 2: So my holiday ended up being pretty bad because I

617
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 2: was stuck at home. My mom was away the whole

618
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: time because she works at sea. My whole dad's side

619
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: was away abroad, so I couldn't see them, And on

620
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: top of that, my stepdad developed medical issues for the

621
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: entire six week period, so we couldn't do anything together.

622
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: So when my boyfriend came back from Italy on the

623
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: final week, I thought we could finally see each other again.

624
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 2: Just before he buggers off to UNI, he said, sorry, Darling,

625
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 2: I want to stay at home for this week so

626
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: that my dad and I can sort out my UNI

627
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 2: stuff together, like packing and things. For context, he had

628
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: to actually go to UNI on the fourteenth of September,

629
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: but I had to return the sixth from on the

630
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: third I think it was, and he was thinking of

631
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 2: coming around that time. I would have been going to

632
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 2: call it, so I told him no, I want him

633
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: over on the last week of my summer holiday instead,

634
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: because he had plenty of time after to sort out

635
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: his UNI stuff. Otherwise I would be in college at

636
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: the same time as he was over. Begrudgingly, he said.

637
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 5: Okay and came over.

638
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 2: I don't know if he was deliberately guilt tripping me,

639
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 2: but after he came over, he was saying stuff like

640
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: the reason he wanted to sort his UNI stuff that

641
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 2: week was because that was the last week his dad

642
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 2: had off before he had to go back to work,

643
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: and he wanted to make the most of his time

644
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 2: with him and properly sort out his stuff things like that,

645
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: and then he roped his now deceased grandpa into it.

646
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: And then the fact that he apparently does not have

647
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: enough kitchen equipment for union houror whatever. Those were wildly

648
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: swinging like levels of importance on those two things.

649
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

650
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 4: Also, I just like, I don't like, does he like you?

651
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 3: Does he want to see you?

652
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 4: Because it seems like he just has so many other

653
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 4: things to worry about, even though like, like, but you're

654
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: giving him all this attention and everything, but you're not

655
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 4: receiving anything.

656
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 3: And that's such I hate that feeling.

657
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 7: I hate it.

658
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you guys might need to cut your

659
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 5: losses here.

660
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: I think what's going on is you guys are both

661
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 2: going to school at different schools. You're moving on to

662
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: a new chapter of your life, and I think it

663
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: might be best if he's not enthusiastic about it. You

664
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: deserve to have a partner who's enthusiastic about you. I

665
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: think you'll have plenty of good opportunities to find someone

666
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 2: you'll enjoy spending your time with I don't know. It

667
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 2: just seems really off to me, And since then, his

668
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 2: text messages are just dry.

669
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 5: I mean they were.

670
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: Getting dry before, but I thought I would bring it up.

671
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: Imagine that moment in kitchen Nightmares when Gordon Ramsay eats

672
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: that dry pork chop and nods. That is my reaction

673
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 2: to how his messages are to me. Don't get me wrong,

674
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 2: He's a lovely person and really sweet, and I get

675
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 2: that he's really busy and stressed at the moment. But

676
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 2: this makes me want to sink further into my delusions

677
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 2: of fangirling over fictional characters and thinking that I'm in

678
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 2: a relationship with said fictional characters that.

679
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 5: Came out of nowhere.

680
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 2: I think you should fangirl about being in a new

681
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 2: relationship with a different, non fictional character. I genuinely have

682
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: to remind myself that he's my boyfriend and not just

683
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 2: some best friend that I sometimes get too spicy with,

684
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: speaking of which he never wants to get spicy with

685
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: me anymore whenever we are together. He said it's because

686
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 2: of his insecurities about his body and the fact that

687
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 2: he just does not have the energy for it, and

688
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 2: I get that you don't got the energy for spice,

689
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 2: and you're like twenty.

690
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, this guy, it just seems like he's just slowly

691
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 4: fading away. I just thought he just doesn't want to

692
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 4: like be the bad guy about it.

693
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 3: And I think that.

694
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 2: A lot of people make that choice, just like I'm

695
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 2: just going to quiet quit the relationship and wait for

696
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 2: the other person to get sick of it.

697
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been there, done that.

698
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 5: It's so exhausting, very exhausting.

699
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: But on the odd occasion that we do do it

700
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 2: these days, I feel that I barely get anything out

701
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 2: of it because he is done after two minutes, and

702
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 2: then I don't get any attention after Honestly, at this point,

703
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 2: I see no point in taking my birth control bills

704
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 2: anymore because I don't get any anyway. I love him

705
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: and he loves me, but I feel almost checked out

706
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: of this relationship, and I think that's yeah, I think

707
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: it's time to check out of the relationship.

708
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 5: Hotel.

709
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 8: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

710
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 8: on to the next one.

711
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 5: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite.

712
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: Goofball host here, and we're gonna get back to the

713
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 2: stories but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

714
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: My fiance gave me him or the cat ultimatum, but

715
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: he didn't expect my answer.

716
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 7: The cat obviously duh.

717
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: To make a long story short, when I was seventeen,

718
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: my best friend passed away due to an accident, and

719
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: my pet hating parents allowed me to get a cat

720
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: as she was my only friend. I have autism and

721
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: have always struggled making friends, and they assumed I would

722
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: find pet care too difficult and want to give.

723
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 7: Her up quick.

724
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: They were wrong, and twelve years later we are still

725
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: the closest pair of friends ever.

726
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 7: All. By the way, this comes from.

727
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: User twelve year Kiddy throwaway, and if you want to

728
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go do the r slash. Okay,

729
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: so time suppert it. I'm Keon and I'm Savannah, and

730
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: we're here to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't

731
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: have all the answers. Unfortunately, we only know what we do,

732
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: so please let us know what you do in the comments.

733
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: As Opie says, I consider closer than all of my friends,

734
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: and they all know this too. She has gotten me

735
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: through so much and I know she loves me back

736
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: as she shows all the signs cats do when they

737
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: love you. Sometimes I think she may love me more

738
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: than I love her.

739
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 7: Jokingly.

740
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: I have never had any issues with her being bad

741
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: or anything since we got her. She has multiple scratching

742
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: posts and a cat tree, so she never scratches furniture.

743
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: I think she also knows I do not like it,

744
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: so that is why as well. She has toys, three

745
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: litter boxes I change regularly and et cetera.

746
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 7: Three Yeah, why three?

747
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 3: That's excessive?

748
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 7: Or why would they need that, Betty? Or you know,

749
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 7: is it just a precaution. I don't know.

750
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 1: Sure, not to brag, but I think I am an

751
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: awesome cat owner. I met my fiance three years ago.

752
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 1: She did not care for him at first, but she

753
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: started to warm up to him. He moved in about

754
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 1: a half a year ago, and that is when she

755
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 1: started acting out, but only against him. Hmmm, your best friend,

756
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 1: Your best friend's getting jealous?

757
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 3: Yeoh.

758
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: She paied on all his stuff his side of the

759
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: bed and scratched his pillow only we even switched the

760
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: pillows to test it, and she chose the one on

761
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: his side every time.

762
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 4: That's actually so funny, Like, no, I'm only going to

763
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 4: scratch this one.

764
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: Your cat is plotting to just ruin this relationship, and

765
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,439
Speaker 1: that's aokay, right.

766
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 7: Yes.

767
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: We also switched the places we kept our clothes and

768
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: items in. She never failed to choose the stuff to

769
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 1: scratch and peon and never touched mine. I did not

770
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 1: know what happened. I went to the vet about the

771
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: p in case of a uti, and they said she

772
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 1: was perfectly healthy. At first, my fiance found it comedic,

773
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: as did I. We thought it was some sick coincidence.

774
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: But eventually he got too much to be some funny coincidence,

775
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: and he started to not like her in the slightest.

776
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: He would come home from work and ask if she

777
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: was in the bedroom. I would say yeah, and he

778
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: would groan and sit in the living room.

779
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 7: Until she left. Wow.

780
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: He would make fake hissing noises at her whenever she

781
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: was in the spot that he wanted to take. He

782
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: would make jokes about calling animal control and claim she

783
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: was a violent stray cat. Let's all right, not the

784
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: right way to go about that.

785
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be I'd be pissed, all.

786
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, doing stuff like that. He never physically hurt her,

787
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: thank goodness. He refuses to even squish ants and his

788
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: vegetarian due to moral reasons, but he definitely mentally messed

789
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: with her last week, though he came home with an

790
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: ultimatum him or my bestest friend for the last twelve years,

791
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: my cat.

792
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 7: I love him so much.

793
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: He's the only person I have been with who has

794
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 1: actually attempted to understand my autism and who I have

795
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: been able to be completely be me, even without masking

796
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: or pretending. Even my therapist has had good things to

797
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 1: say about him. He helped me get through my dad's

798
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: passing from the VID. He helped me get through the

799
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 1: pandemic in general, as I am a slight hypochondriac as well.

800
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: But big butt, I can never just give up my cat.

801
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: I love her just as much as I love him.

802
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: As I explained earlier, the one thing he has not seemed.

803
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 7: To get despite understanding everything else about me, is.

804
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 1: How much she means to me. She does not do

805
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: those things to anyone else. I had a friend's stay

806
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: with me for a bit under a year some years ago,

807
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,919
Speaker 1: and my cat did not once do anything to her.

808
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: They get along very well. In fact, I just really

809
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 1: do not know what to do, as I want both

810
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 1: my cat and my fiance.

811
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 7: But he does not want her. And there's an edit.

812
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: I generally thought it was implied with me talking in

813
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: past tense. But he does not do those things to

814
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: her anymore, like hiss at her or chase her. I

815
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: got him to stop good. The most he will do

816
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 1: is boodhfferent places like many cat owners do, or just

817
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 1: leave the room when she comes in.

818
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 7: He has stopped playing games with friends simply because she

819
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 7: just walked in.

820
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: But I think that it is better than chasing her

821
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: and hissing at her. Also, I'm not asking if I

822
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: should get rid of the cat. I will never get

823
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: rid of her. I am asking what I should do

824
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: about the ultimatum and what I should do about my fiance.

825
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: Getting rid of her is not an option. And we

826
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,280
Speaker 1: have an update. M Savannah.

827
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously you're not going to get rid of

828
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 4: the cat, which I wouldn't either. It does cause some

829
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 4: strain on your relationship though, so like obviously you have

830
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 4: to figure out some sort of compromise here, and I

831
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 4: would think just maybe limiting you know, the cat to

832
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 4: like a couple of rooms, like maybe not the bedroom anymore,

833
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 4: like you know, so, cause that's where all the clothes are,

834
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 4: and you know I would assume.

835
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, because the clothes thing, I

836
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: feel like you could just put like in a drawer

837
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 1: or put it in like in a closet.

838
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 7: That's one thing. But it's always his.

839
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: Side of the bed, his pillow, if that's where it's

840
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: coming down, coming down to you do need to have

841
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: a compromise, unless if you know that's the ultimatum, like

842
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 1: it's me or the cat, you'd be like, it's the cat, dude.

843
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:11,760
Speaker 7: Bye.

844
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 1: But I don't think you wanted your fiance to leave

845
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: because he sounds other than this fight between you and

846
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 1: between him and the cat, he seems great.

847
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, my idea is to just like maybe not let

848
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 4: the cat in the bedroom anymore unless that's like where

849
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 4: all of its stuff is. But obviously you can move

850
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 4: it stuff to, you know whatever.

851
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 7: But it's very weird.

852
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: You have three litter boxes for this cat and he

853
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 1: still decides to or she still decides to pee on

854
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: everything of.

855
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 4: His Yeah, that's just that's like, that's purposeful.

856
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 7: Oh, but we have an update. My fiance is a paramedic.

857
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: He works four days on and three days off, and

858
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,879
Speaker 1: he just got back this afternoon, so I was able

859
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 1: to talk to him in time. I am really bad

860
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: with communication, but I sat my fiance down and explained

861
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 1: how important both him and my cat are to me.

862
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: I will not go in depth, as that will take

863
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 1: a while, but he admitted he underestimated my bond with her.

864
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: How does he underestimate a bond that you've had with

865
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: your pet for twelve years?

866
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 5: Yeah.

867
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 4: I feel like if it was like maybe like a

868
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 4: year or two, I can understand, but like twelve years,

869
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 4: obviously this cat's going nowhere.

870
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 7: Yeah.

871
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,319
Speaker 1: He also admitted he lashed out with the ultimatum and

872
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 1: does not expect me to give up my cat under

873
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 1: any circumstance. But he does not want to come up

874
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 1: with some schedule so she will not be allowed in

875
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: the bedroom without some sort of supervision.

876
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 7: There we go, Boom called it. We're doing a compromise. Great.

877
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: We're also going to replace the closet doors with something

878
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: she cannot push open with her head.

879
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 7: Great.

880
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: And that is how she resorted to finding his stuff

881
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: once we hit it. He's an active Reddit user, and

882
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: somewhere along the line I let my post slip, and

883
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 1: after some convincing I showed him he was not upset,

884
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 1: and he appreciated both comments on.

885
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 7: His side and on my side. I did not even.

886
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: Realize people were saying with people. I assumed everyone was neutral,

887
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: but I guess it was obvious and I missed it.

888
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 7: As for the.

889
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: Event, he never hurt her, aside from being a wiener

890
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 1: for a while until I stopped him, he did not

891
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: ab my cat. I understand where the comments are coming

892
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 1: from one hundred percent, and obviously on some dumb Reddit post.

893
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 1: I cannot convince anyone because, like I said in a comment,

894
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: tail as old as time seeing he would never hurt

895
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: anyone about a man. But rest assured after our conversation,

896
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: I know he would not hurt my cat. I talked

897
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: to the VET over the phone about this and it

898
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: is definitely just jealousy on my cat's part.

899
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 5: That's crazy.

900
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, jealousy on your Casspard is so funny.

901
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: I want to clear up the misconception in the comments

902
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: that I let her ruin his stuff for six months straight. No,

903
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,800
Speaker 1: I have taken an active interest in stopping her. After

904
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 1: knowing someone cat or human for twelve years, you learn

905
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: their hates, their loves, their likes and dislikes. She hates

906
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: leashes and specifically walks whenever she does bad. I put

907
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,240
Speaker 1: the leash on her, has a warning.

908
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 7: That's funny. You could probably see her cat like just

909
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 7: like I like crumpy cat.

910
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,439
Speaker 4: We're coming for a walk now.

911
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, another offense, full blown walk, just trying to see

912
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 1: someone force their cat to come out.

913
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,959
Speaker 4: It's just like dragging you like, no, I'm not gonna move.

914
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 1: I have walked her at three am just to prove

915
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 1: to her I am serious. Wow, her attacking his stuff

916
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 1: stop more and more, And now it happens to maybe

917
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: once or twice a month.

918
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:27,879
Speaker 7: Oh that's great.

919
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: Obviously, it happening at all is bad, but it decreased

920
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: from nearly every day to rarely happening at all is improvement.

921
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 7: Another thing I wanted to mention was the comments about

922
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 7: how she is just a cat.

923
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: Cats are not family, people over cats, et cetera. I

924
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: don't agree with that.

925
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 5: I don't at all.

926
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 7: Yeah.

927
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: I understand why many do not see their pets's family,

928
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: but I do as do why my cat was all

929
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: I had for a while. My parents and I went

930
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 1: no communication from twenty fourteen to twenty sixteen. I was

931
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 1: unable to work and was on disability, so I did

932
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: not get out. I did not have friends. All I

933
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: had was my furry friend. She is my family the

934
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: same way that if I had a kid, it would

935
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 1: be my family, my fiance that I have both agreed

936
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 1: on no kids. I do not think I could handle

937
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: a human with my autism, and it is a fear

938
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 1: of mine and I will not willing to face. And

939
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: he grew up with many young siblings, so he does

940
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: not like kids. Mike Ken and I have been through

941
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: more than most young couples in college have been through.

942
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 1: To put it in perspective, cat care, scares, injuries on

943
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 1: both of our parts. We have watched shows together. Though

944
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: she may not understand it, all in all, she is

945
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: my family.

946
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 7: I think this is great.

947
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 1: You worked on it, you communicated, you're finding a compromise

948
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: for both you, your fiance, and your cat. Any other

949
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: take Savannah before we finish up the story.

950
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 4: I mean, ultimately, I think you guys figured it out. Obviously,

951
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 4: it's not one hundred percent solved, but it's way better

952
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 4: than you know every single day. Obviously, I think you've

953
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 4: done a lot of work, and also, like you know,

954
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 4: good for you for sticking with it, because I know

955
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 4: some people are like, eh, too hard, and then it's

956
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 4: just like you know, then people get lazy and then

957
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: nothing ever happens. So good for you for coming up

958
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 4: with the plan and sticking to it, and now you

959
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,760
Speaker 4: see like with hard work and dedication things can happen.

960
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, amazing. Let's go ahead and finish up the story. Finally,

961
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 1: my fiance pointed out, and I agreed, that many people

962
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: fail to take my autism into account in my post.

963
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: I do not mean that in a treat me better

964
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: I am disabled kind of way, but autism does shape

965
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: how you interpret things, act, feel, et cetera. And I'm

966
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: not neurotypical. And my fiance knows it, he has known

967
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 1: it from the start. That also affects how I get

968
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,280
Speaker 1: along with people. And as some pointed out, many people

969
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: with autism find connecting with people without autism to be

970
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,240
Speaker 1: very difficult and often find comfort and connection to and

971
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: with in animals. That is how I am with my cat,

972
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 1: and my fiancee has known this from the start. Well,

973
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: if your fiance has known this from the start, the

974
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: I think the ultimatum definitely, and he I think he

975
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: said it too. He's like, I didn't mean it but

976
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: don't don't say things like that because that could definitely

977
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 1: put your relationship on the line for sure.

978
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 4: And obviously that made like a big enough reaction in

979
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 4: her that she is like, now I need advice and

980
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 4: I need to speak up, and now I have an issue,

981
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 4: you know with all of that. Like I feel like

982
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 4: if he didn't say that, then there wouldn't have been

983
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 4: this whole thing.

984
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 3: But also good for him for, you know, saying his.

985
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 4: Part in it, because obviously you don't want to like

986
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:41,399
Speaker 4: just go on and on and just be like, yeah,

987
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 4: this is annoying, but I'm afraid to say anything or

988
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 4: whatever like that's not good. So you good for you know,

989
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 4: good for fiance for speaking his mind, good for op

990
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: for speaking her mind, And.

991
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 7: Good for that cat for speaking their mind.

992
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, good for the cat for doing whatever it wants

993
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 4: to do.

994
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 7: And that's the end of his story. We're going to

995
00:44:59,320 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 7: go on to the next one.

996
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 4: My boyfriend loves me, but treats my cats like an afterthought.

997
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 7: Maybe you should treat him like an afterthought.

998
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:10,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, I twenty six female, have been dating my boyfriend,

999
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 4: twenty eight male for about a year and a half.

1000
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 4: We met through a friend and instantly he and I connected.

1001
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 4: Our first date was incredible and I could see myself

1002
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 4: truly falling for this man. By the way, this comes

1003
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 4: from both writer four three four eight and if you

1004
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1005
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 4: slash okay story time subreddit. I am Savannah, I'm Keon,

1006
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 4: and we are here to give good advice goof Lee,

1007
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 4: but we don't have all the answers. We're only going

1008
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 4: to tell you what we would do in this situation,

1009
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 4: and we would love to know what you would do

1010
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 4: in this situation in the comments, as Op says, I

1011
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 4: have always had an iffy relationship with men, so I

1012
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 4: was not used to having a healthy relationship with one,

1013
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 4: and all the signs pointed to this one being it.

1014
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 4: I found myself quitting my job to find another one

1015
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 4: that would allow me to spend more time with him.

1016
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 4: My parents and brother love him, and I get along

1017
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 4: well with his family. Also, some backstory is very frugal

1018
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 4: and I don't mind spending money on materials. He will

1019
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 4: eat expired food, oh whereas I refuse to because I

1020
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 4: have oh amatophobia fear of vomiting. This solves a lot

1021
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:20,399
Speaker 4: of backstory.

1022
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:22,479
Speaker 5: This is the backstory that I want.

1023
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 1: I like how he's like, this is the perfect guy.

1024
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: He's a dream boat. If it passed the expiration, he

1025
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: will eat it.

1026
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 4: He doesn't care.

1027
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 1: I find that so I find that disgusting.

1028
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 3: And I will throw up.

1029
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,919
Speaker 4: I also have pretty bad anxiety. Whereas he is very

1030
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 4: logical and has a solution for everything. He is abstinate, oh,

1031
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 4: but not a virgin. Oh, both of which I knew

1032
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 4: from the beginning. I'm confused. How does that work?

1033
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 7: Maybe he has had some experience and he was like,

1034
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 7: I don't.

1035
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 4: He's like, never mind, he's abstinent but not a virgin,

1036
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 4: both of which I knew from the beginning. And I

1037
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 4: am certainly not Ooh, but I have had a bad

1038
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 4: relationship with spicy sleep and men, so I have been

1039
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 4: willing to try saving it and experience a relationship without it.

1040
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,240
Speaker 4: We've done everything else.

1041
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: I mean, basically, at that point, you just like, what

1042
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 3: is the point?

1043
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 7: I don't know.

1044
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 5: I don't know, just my TAKEO.

1045
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 4: Anyway, now onto the cats.

1046
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 3: We were long.

1047
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 4: Distance for a year, even though it was a closer

1048
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 4: distance than some A two hour drive is not so bad, right, Yeah.

1049
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 4: I lived in Illinois and he lives in a remote

1050
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 4: part of Indiana, but is also from Chicago. Towards the

1051
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 4: end of the year, we were both pretty eager to

1052
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 4: move in together. I was also very vocal about wanting

1053
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 4: to get a cat, and after multiple conversations with my

1054
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 4: boyfriend about it, he agreed to get a cat when

1055
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 4: we lived together. Before the end of the year, I

1056
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 4: went to a pet rescue. I was not even planning

1057
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 4: on adopting. I had just been going with a friend

1058
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 4: and fell in love with a four month old kitten

1059
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 4: who I am I instantly adopted. When I told my

1060
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 4: boyfriend about it, he was surprised at first, but he

1061
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 4: knew that I wanted one in the first place and

1062
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 4: gave me the okay. I kept her at my parents'

1063
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 4: house because my roommate at the time was allergic. I

1064
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,479
Speaker 4: worked right down the street from my parents and saw

1065
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 4: them every day until ultimately moving in with my boyfriend.

1066
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 4: Flashed forward to December of last year, when I moved

1067
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 4: in with my boyfriend, who lived two hours away, and

1068
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 4: brought the cat. Part of the reason it was such

1069
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 4: an easy decision to move was because my best friend

1070
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 4: at the time, who had introduced us, was living right

1071
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 4: down the street with her boyfriend. Three weeks into living

1072
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 4: in my new home, my best friend broke up with

1073
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 4: her boyfriend and moved back to her hometown. All I

1074
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 4: did not know anyone really in town. I had a

1075
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 4: new job that I did not like, and the only

1076
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 4: things I really had were my boyfriend and my cat.

1077
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 4: After a month at my job, I quit because I

1078
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 4: could not handle the petty bullying for my coworkers, and

1079
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 4: I ended up getting my old job back in my hometown,

1080
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 4: where I worked on weekends. My cat was not adjusting

1081
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 4: too well to living in the new area. She was

1082
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 4: always nervous and meowing all the time. Since I work

1083
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 4: at a vet clinic. Oh, my coworkers promptly told me

1084
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,359
Speaker 4: that I needed to get another pet friend to keep

1085
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 4: her entertained, which is exactly what I did. Side, don't

1086
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 4: I don't agree with that, Like, I don't think that

1087
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 4: if you can handle both, then yes, but I don't

1088
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 4: think you need one to take care of the other.

1089
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 4: Like you don't get another thing to take care of

1090
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 4: the thing that you can't take care of.

1091
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:34,839
Speaker 7: Type of thing.

1092
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I have to take care of two things. Yeah,

1093
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 1: one wasn't you know.

1094
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 4: I spoke with my boyfriend about it, and he said

1095
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 4: it was a good idea and was on board. I

1096
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 4: found a kitten I really liked, and then we had

1097
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 4: our eight week old rag Doll cute. Instantly, the two

1098
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 4: cats became fast friends. I would do anything for them.

1099
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 4: Over the last few months, I started working more at

1100
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 4: my old job Milanois. I spent half the week with

1101
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,800
Speaker 4: my parents and work, and spent the other half in

1102
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 4: Indiana with my boyfriend and cats. Depending on how long

1103
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 4: I am staying at my parents, sometimes I bring the

1104
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 4: cats with me, but I hate stressing them out with

1105
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 4: long car rides, so most of the time they stay

1106
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 4: with my boyfriend. Typically, I feel like he does a

1107
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 4: great job with them. One time we had an accident

1108
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 4: on a drive to Chicago, and he was very calm

1109
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 4: and had no problem cleaning up, whereas I was a

1110
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 4: mess and freaking out. That was one of the first

1111
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 4: times I pictured him being a great father. I feed

1112
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 4: them three times a day and clean their litter boxes daily.

1113
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 4: My boyfriend sees all of this and is aware of

1114
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 4: the routine. However, every time I get back from my

1115
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 4: time at home, the litter boxes have not been cleaned.

1116
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 4: As irritated as I get. I am not usually gone

1117
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 4: for too long, so it is not horrible until this

1118
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 4: past weekend. It is the end of June, so it

1119
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,240
Speaker 4: is getting hot, and this past week has been significantly

1120
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 4: warmer in the nineties. I should mention the apartment in

1121
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 4: Indiana has no central air, just a couple of window units.

1122
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 4: Oh that's horrid. Sorry, I would hate that. I had

1123
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 4: been in Chicago from Friday until Wednesday, around five days,

1124
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 4: and did the two hour drive home after three consecutive

1125
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 4: days of twelve hour shifts, which is my new work schedule.

1126
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 4: I stepped into my apartment absolutely exhausted.

1127
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: Oh boy, can you imagine that smell where it's one hot,

1128
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,799
Speaker 1: no real central air coming through, and this slitter box

1129
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:33,839
Speaker 1: hasn't been cleaned out.

1130
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: Oohooooo, no, no.

1131
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 7: No, let's be rancid.

1132
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 4: That's nasty, and that guy does get some nasty things.

1133
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 7: This guy does eat expired food.

1134
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:50,479
Speaker 4: This guy likes his things expired. So I stepped into

1135
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 4: my apartment absolutely exhausted and was met with heat and mugginess.

1136
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 4: I have always mentioned that I need a cool temp

1137
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 4: of sixty seven degrees, maybe because I am spoiled in

1138
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 4: order to be comfortable. I tried to look past the

1139
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 4: heat in the house and greeted my cats. They were

1140
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 4: fine and healthy, but I could tell they were hungry.

1141
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 4: I knew I had to clean the litter boxes since

1142
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 4: that has been my routine when coming back, and I

1143
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 4: could not believe the mess that was left. Both litter

1144
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 4: boxes reeked of urine, and one of them had at

1145
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 4: least seven poopsh you'll be pooping e seven poops. I

1146
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 4: cleaned up as best as I could, but I was furious.

1147
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 4: My boyfriend was not home at the time. He was

1148
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 4: out with friends, and I asked him if the cats

1149
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 4: had been fed.

1150
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 3: They had not.

1151
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 4: He told me he feeds them when he gets home

1152
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 4: from training. He's an MMA fighter. That would have been

1153
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,319
Speaker 4: great backstory.

1154
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 3: I mean, I like the backstory that you gave us, but.

1155
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 7: Just like I feel like it is so random.

1156
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 3: This would be more pertinent information.

1157
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 4: But maybe maybe the throw up story that could have

1158
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:00,760
Speaker 4: all it's been pertinent.

1159
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 5: We haven't gotten there yet. Maybe we did, we didn't We.

1160
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 7: Just what does the MMA fighter how to do with anything?

1161
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 5: Like he's out late?

1162
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 7: I guess I don't know. I don't Okay, he's training

1163
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 7: a lot.

1164
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 3: I'm not really I don't know what.

1165
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: That he works really hard, so you can't feed the

1166
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: cast because he's out fighting people in the ring.

1167
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:17,959
Speaker 5: Ryme.

1168
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, he's in the octagon.

1169
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 4: All right, So he is an MMA fighter at ten

1170
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 4: thirty pm and goes to bed not too long after that.

1171
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 4: This tells me that they only get fed once every

1172
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 4: twelve hours, once when he gets home and once when

1173
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 4: he wakes up. Maybe that is a routine for some people,

1174
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 4: but the cats are used to eating more often than that.

1175
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 4: Perhaps it was me being over tired and overheated, but

1176
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 4: I was fuman. I had also noticed a couple of

1177
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 4: flies buzzing around, but I had not thought too much

1178
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 4: of it. Even though I hate having flies around. Well,

1179
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 4: who doesn't, I mean, nobody wants.

1180
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: I love when flies are like buzzing around me and

1181
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 1: getting into my food, with all my spoiled with all

1182
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: my expired food. You know, I love the taste of

1183
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,800
Speaker 1: flypoop in my food.

1184
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 3: Adds a little extra.

1185
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 4: Once he got home and I expressed my anger and frustration,

1186
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 4: he apologized and said he would be better. We sat

1187
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 4: down and did our daily crossword.

1188
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 3: Sorry, I just did not expect that.

1189
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: Oh, he's just adding some really fun fluff to this story,

1190
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 1: and you know what, I'm here for it.

1191
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 4: And I kept getting annoyed about the flies buzzing around.

1192
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 4: I said I was going to take care of them

1193
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 4: and grabbed a book to start hunting.

1194
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: Opie, Okay, I'm going hunted, op I feel like you

1195
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,399
Speaker 1: have adhd over.

1196
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 4: The next hour, I had found twenty flies. Oh okay,

1197
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 4: that's excessive and gross.

1198
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: Ugh.

1199
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 4: My boyfriend continued the crossword and did not offer to help.

1200
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 4: Had I been in a better mood, I probably would

1201
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 4: have tried to make a game out of it with

1202
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 4: him or asked for help.

1203
00:54:58,719 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 3: Oh so she did not.

1204
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 4: Maybe I am wrong for not asking and expecting him

1205
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 4: to jump in. After thinking I was finally done, I

1206
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 4: went into the bathroom to wash my hands and there

1207
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:12,760
Speaker 4: were eight more flies in the bathroom alone. I completely

1208
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 4: lost it. I broke down crying because I could not

1209
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 4: handle being the only one doing anything. I made him

1210
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 4: go to the bathroom and get them all, which he did,

1211
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,320
Speaker 4: but I just needed to go to bed, which I

1212
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,400
Speaker 4: knew would be hard to do since it was so

1213
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 4: warm in the apartment. He came into the bedroom and

1214
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 4: I just let it all out how I needed him

1215
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:32,760
Speaker 4: to care about the cats.

1216
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 3: I needed him.

1217
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 5: To give a crap.

1218
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 4: In general, his apologies seemed genuine and he did not

1219
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 4: know how bad things were. He just thinks the cats

1220
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 4: are just cats and can go almost a full day

1221
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:46,240
Speaker 4: without eating and are fine with using a dirty litter box.

1222
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 4: Now nasty, which is certainly not the case for my

1223
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 4: older cat. Living in Chicago, I told my boyfriend that

1224
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 4: I cannot live in a warm environment and I hate flies.

1225
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 4: And since I mean, yeah, I can't live in a

1226
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,800
Speaker 4: warm climate and I hate these flies.

1227
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 7: I feel like keep going, keep going. I have some

1228
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 7: words ro Pete.

1229
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:13,839
Speaker 4: And since he is so logical, he says we will

1230
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 4: get fly traps and get another AC unit. You would

1231
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,400
Speaker 4: think that would call me down, but I was so

1232
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 4: tired I wanted an immediate fix.

1233
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 3: Maybe that is my fault.

1234
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 5: He's very old school.

1235
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,800
Speaker 4: He wants to provide for me in our possible future family,

1236
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:30,839
Speaker 4: but he wants me to be a stay at home

1237
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 4: mom because someone has to be home and watch the kids.

1238
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 4: To be fair, I have mentioned that I would love

1239
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 4: to stay at home with my kids since I didn't

1240
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 4: really get that growing up, but I would like to

1241
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 4: do that closer to home, which brings me to my

1242
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 4: next point. He has no intention of moving back to

1243
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 4: Chicago to be closer to family. We've discussed the future

1244
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 4: plenty of times, but I have also stated that I

1245
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 4: want to raise my kids closer to my friends and family,

1246
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 4: as they are incredibly important to me. He always says

1247
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,319
Speaker 4: we can talk talk about it, but ultimately where we

1248
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 4: are now is his end game. His job has plenty

1249
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 4: of benefits, and they give him barely no rent to

1250
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,320
Speaker 4: pay since he lives on the property of where he works.

1251
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 4: It's a beautiful town, but twenty five minutes away from

1252
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 4: any retail stores or chain restaurants.

1253
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:17,439
Speaker 5: Which I enjoy.

1254
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 4: He can have free tuition for any children he has.

1255
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,919
Speaker 4: He can have a good life here. Logistically, I fully

1256
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 4: understand how great of a job that is, but geographically

1257
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 4: it is such an inconvenience. I've even offered a middle

1258
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 4: ground of somewhere in between, but he doesn't like that

1259
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 4: because I'd have to work as well in order to

1260
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 4: afford luxuries, which is what my plan was all along.

1261
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:41,919
Speaker 4: So it seems like you just have different plans right now.

1262
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 4: Since all of this has just piled on so recently,

1263
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 4: I've seriously been doubting how well, we fit. We've been

1264
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 4: living together for six months now, but sometimes I don't

1265
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 4: even know which place is home because I split my

1266
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 4: life in two, one in Chicago with my friends and family,

1267
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 4: and one here with my boyfriend and cats. I just

1268
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 4: need some guidance on whether this is normal man behavior

1269
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 4: or if I found a dud alil. He is carrying,

1270
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 4: he wants to communicate, he's level headed, he seems like

1271
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 4: a good man overall. I know he had his heart

1272
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 4: broken by his last girlfriend, who he was engaged to

1273
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 4: after he moved across the country to be with her,

1274
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 4: so maybe he's still cautious. However, PS some also red

1275
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 4: flags I've found. Oh uh oh, he doesn't post me

1276
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 4: on social media even though I've asked. My friends don't

1277
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 4: like him. He doesn't seem interested in making friends with mine.

1278
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 4: I think of him as a priority, and I think

1279
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 4: I'm like third on his list.

1280
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 5: Was that?

1281
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 1: Where was that the beginning of the story? Where did

1282
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 1: you give us with a PS? There's so many red

1283
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 1: flags that you just brought up.

1284
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 4: No, oh, P And it was just a list and

1285
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 4: that was it. And that's like literally it was the list.

1286
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: But but you decided to put in the story that

1287
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: there were like eighty flies in your apartment.

1288
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 7: That was a giant tidbit that should have been included.

1289
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, your friends not liking him and him not chining

1290
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 1: along with your friends, that's a giant red flag.

1291
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 4: For sure, because then you're always gonna have to be

1292
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 4: like I'm choosing my friends or I'm choosing him like always,

1293
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 4: and so.

1294
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 1: I mean you kind of are doing that right now.

1295
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: You're doing that with where You're like, I'm going to buy,

1296
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to work, which is uh in Indiana. Then

1297
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 1: I have to go back to Chicago. Then I have

1298
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 1: to go back to work in Indiana. And I want

1299
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 1: him to come to Indiana, but he doesn't want to

1300
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: do that. Yeah, you are literally picking and choosing. I

1301
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: think again, you guys are in two different places at

1302
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: this time in your life. He's not compromising. Really, it's

1303
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: not worth it. I think it's time to Yeah, I

1304
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: think it's come on from this expiration good bait.

1305
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think he all the fruit. He's he all

1306
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 4: the expired fruit has expired him.

1307
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 7: Hmm.

1308
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 4: Think about that, Opie.

1309
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 7: And that's the end of his story. We're going to

1310
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,439
Speaker 7: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Carly, your

1311
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 7: favorite Axeltel host.

1312
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 1: Here.

1313
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 3: We're going to.

1314
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 4: Get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of

1315
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 4: ads from our sponsors.

1316
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 1: My fiance is showing favoritism over our cats and it's

1317
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 1: affecting our relationship.

1318
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 4: No love all cats equally.

1319
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1320
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: My fiance twenty nine female and I twenty seven male,

1321
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:21,439
Speaker 1: have been together for three years now, and I moved

1322
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: in with her about a year and a half ago

1323
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 1: and decided that I wanted to spend the rest of

1324
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 1: my life with her. I proposed in March twenty twenty

1325
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 1: four and she said yes.

1326
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 7: Oh.

1327
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user pop and Peanut,

1328
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1329
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay, story time suppered it.

1330
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 4: I'm Keon and I'm a cold Savannah.

1331
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 7: I'm a warm Keyon.

1332
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice Googly, but we

1333
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. Unfortunately, we only know what

1334
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: we do. So please let us know what you'd do

1335
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:52,600
Speaker 1: in the comments, pretty please. Maybe it'll warm up Savannah. Yeah,

1336
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: I'd love that, As Opie says, wedding planning has already

1337
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 1: started looking at possible venues.

1338
01:00:59,080 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 7: Close friends.

1339
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 1: No, the specific date that we're planning to get married

1340
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty six. However, nothing has been set in

1341
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:08,479
Speaker 1: stone and booked yet. We decided mutually that we would

1342
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,120
Speaker 1: get a cat as a companion for us, mainly for

1343
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: me because I was lonely at home when it was

1344
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:16,439
Speaker 1: just myself. However, she always has always loved cats too,

1345
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: and she also really wanted one. We originally were wanting to.

1346
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 5: Get a dog.

1347
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 1: However, due to our work schedules, we came to a

1348
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 1: conclusion that having a dog was going to be too

1349
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: much responsibility and we wouldn't be able to take care

1350
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 1: of the dog given our current schedules. I work essentially

1351
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 1: a eight am to four pm job five days a week,

1352
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 1: and my fiance working six days a week at a

1353
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 1: family restaurant, often working from eleven am to ten pm. Dang,

1354
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,840
Speaker 1: what do you guys do in your free time?

1355
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 5: Sleep?

1356
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy.

1357
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:45,919
Speaker 1: I've always had animals growing up when I was living

1358
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 1: with my parents. My first pet was a dog, and

1359
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 1: then a cat, and then currently dog again. I will

1360
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: refer to the first cat we had as number one

1361
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,919
Speaker 1: and our second cat as number two.

1362
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 5: I read that as No one.

1363
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 7: No one too.

1364
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: While we were dating, we visited local cat cafes a

1365
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 1: few times, and based on her behavior toward the cats there,

1366
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: I believe that she really did like cats, and she

1367
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 1: did confirm that she did enjoy playing with them. Fast

1368
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: forward to getting our first cat. She was extremely gung

1369
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: ho about it and was excited during our car ride

1370
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: there to meet the litter. Two kittens left, both seven

1371
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:23,480
Speaker 1: weeks old at the time. I ended up letting her

1372
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 1: choose which kitten she wanted to bring home, and we ended.

1373
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 7: Up taking him again.

1374
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,000
Speaker 1: And his name is going to be number one home

1375
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:30,480
Speaker 1: with us.

1376
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 7: The same day.

1377
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: I was like, number one is could be called Peepee

1378
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 1: and number two isould be called Cokah, wait, that's good,

1379
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 1: we should do that. Yeah, I'm now referring to the

1380
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 1: cat's names as number one as Peepee and the number

1381
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 1: two is kaka Peepee poo pooh.

1382
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 7: Yes, I'm here to give good advice. Goofully.

1383
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: So we ended up taking Peepee home with us the

1384
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:51,959
Speaker 1: same day.

1385
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 7: Jesus so fun.

1386
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 1: Oh that's been well with our first cat, now ten

1387
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 1: months old. Recently, about three months ago, we had a

1388
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,880
Speaker 1: short and vague talk about how our current cat seemed

1389
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: to be lonely at home by himself while we were

1390
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 1: away at work, and we both had the idea of

1391
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 1: maybe getting a second cat so that he could have

1392
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 1: a companion as well. One day, during work, I received

1393
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 1: a text for my fiance showing me a listing to

1394
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 1: a possible fit to be our second cat. I was

1395
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 1: not expecting this at all due to our talk being brief,

1396
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 1: and although it was sprung up on me, I was

1397
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: never against the idea. My fiance had asked if I

1398
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,959
Speaker 1: could go view this cat it's a year and three

1399
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 1: months and see if he would be a good fit

1400
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,560
Speaker 1: for our home. So I want to visit the cat

1401
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: after work by myself. With my fiance being at work

1402
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 1: and unable to be there for the visit, I was

1403
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:40,919
Speaker 1: tasked with deciding whether or not you'd be the right fit.

1404
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: After having the interaction upon meeting the cat, I gave

1405
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: my fiance a phone call and explained that he would

1406
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 1: be a great cat, except he would be a lot

1407
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 1: more work compared to our first cat.

1408
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 7: Okay.

1409
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 1: I explained that this cat is extremely shy, however, he's

1410
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 1: non aggressive even when he's in fear, and that he

1411
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 1: may really be hard to groom, wipe down ibuggers, nail trimming,

1412
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 1: maybe bathe if you're required. She's sill, a little shy guy.

1413
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 1: After knowing about all these things, my fiance had said,

1414
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 1: I trust you.

1415
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 7: If you feel like he's going.

1416
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 1: To be a good cat, then I'm okay with it

1417
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 1: and I'll leave it up to you. Oh I think

1418
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: that's going to come back to bite you on the butt. Yeah,

1419
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 1: So in the end I ended up bringing him home.

1420
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 1: So when my fancy came home from work and saw

1421
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 1: it poop Poo for the first time, yes, yes, this

1422
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 1: gonda be really great, she showed the same type of

1423
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: love and excitement towards him and she did with Peepee. However, however,

1424
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 1: now three months later, she's starting to hate and despise

1425
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:41,200
Speaker 1: Poo Poo.

1426
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 7: I hate this.

1427
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:44,919
Speaker 5: I love this.

1428
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 1: For context, both our cats get along great. Our second

1429
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: cat just recently started to groom his brother and they

1430
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,040
Speaker 1: like to play russell and run around the house together.

1431
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 1: In the past week, we've had three fights in regards

1432
01:04:56,960 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 1: to Poopoo's behavior. Poopoo has ruined things before in the past.

1433
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:03,320
Speaker 1: What a little piece of poo?

1434
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 3: What living up to his name.

1435
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 1: However, as a previous cat owner, I can assure you

1436
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 1: that he's been quite well behaved. He scratched the anti

1437
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 1: fatigue foam kitchen matt and he took chunks out of

1438
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: the foam. He scratched the couch very minimal. As we

1439
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 1: started applying sticky Paws and has been less interested and

1440
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 1: started using his scratching post a lot more frequently. Most recently,

1441
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,560
Speaker 1: he climbed up to the counter and chewed up one

1442
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 1: of my fiance's plants and one of the new growing

1443
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 1: leaves was taken off from the main stem. Thankfully, the

1444
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: plant was non toxic.

1445
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 7: Good. My fiance has completely lost.

1446
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 1: All tolerance towards Poo poo due to the plant incident

1447
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: being her breaking point of him ruining her things. This

1448
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:46,320
Speaker 1: is just a part of having like kittens and puppies

1449
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 1: and young young things running around.

1450
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:50,280
Speaker 3: It's true.

1451
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 4: You get like, you know, they have to like learn,

1452
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 4: and obviously you can find ways around it, like putting

1453
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 4: up you know, like gates, or you know, like having

1454
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 4: them like sitting like one room only or whatever, like

1455
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 4: limiting you know, their access to everything. So you know,

1456
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:07,840
Speaker 4: and that's just that that's what kids as well like.

1457
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 1: That's why I said living things, That's why I said,

1458
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 1: living things like kids, pets, whatever, what have you. This

1459
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 1: is a learning situation for both you as a parent

1460
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 1: or an owner of a cat, of a pet, or

1461
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 1: what have you, And for them it's a learning situation

1462
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 1: for them to not do that again, and for you

1463
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 1: to be like maybe I should you know, not leave

1464
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 1: the plants out, or like maybe I shouldn't have food

1465
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 1: on the counter or something like that.

1466
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:33,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is a test. Yeah, as it

1467
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 3: always is.

1468
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 1: It's becomes so bad that we have started arguing over

1469
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:39,240
Speaker 1: poop Poo and that she has brought up hating him

1470
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:43,680
Speaker 1: and despising him. Ah, she said, when I come home

1471
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,480
Speaker 1: from work and see his face, I can't stand it

1472
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:50,439
Speaker 1: what I hate him and I hate what he does,

1473
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:54,520
Speaker 1: and he's ruining everything. Peepe Peepe does not do any

1474
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 1: of this. Why is he so well behaved and poop

1475
01:06:57,200 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 1: Poo is not? What is Poopoo going to ruin next?

1476
01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm miserable. I've tried to reason with her and tell

1477
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 1: her that our first cat also has pros and cons

1478
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:09,520
Speaker 1: Our first cat still scratches the ledges off the walls

1479
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:12,600
Speaker 1: and also did before in the past scratch our dining

1480
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 1: chairs and couch it's to a minimum. Now. I've tried

1481
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 1: to explain from a pet owner's point of view that

1482
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 1: there are some things that are out of our control,

1483
01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:23,240
Speaker 1: and that some behaviors can't be corrected right away, and

1484
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 1: it may take a few attempts, and even then you

1485
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 1: can't guarantee that they will stop doing those things. She's

1486
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 1: admitted that she regrets getting him woof and that she

1487
01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:35,040
Speaker 1: realizes that having pets and requiring to take care of

1488
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,360
Speaker 1: them is a lot different than just playing with them

1489
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,880
Speaker 1: and enjoying being around them. I wish she came to

1490
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,560
Speaker 1: this realization before we got Poopoo. My fiance is definitely

1491
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 1: still on the honeymoon phase with our first cat, and

1492
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 1: has even admitted that at least with our first cat,

1493
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:51,120
Speaker 1: we got him as a kitten totally. She feels somewhat

1494
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,400
Speaker 1: attached to him rather than our second cat, which she

1495
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 1: despises and has no love for. She's insisted that we

1496
01:07:57,200 --> 01:08:00,840
Speaker 1: get rid of Poopoo. No, don't get to that Poopoo,

1497
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 1: and that there will be no other solution unless he behaves.

1498
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 1: She's giving him one last chance. However, if he ruins

1499
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:11,600
Speaker 1: anything else, then that will be the final straw. Deep Down, inside,

1500
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 1: I know that Poopoo will be curious about something and

1501
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:17,840
Speaker 1: will end up ruining her things again, it's just a

1502
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:20,559
Speaker 1: matter of time. During our fights, she has stated that

1503
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: I keep on deflecting what Poopoo does and comparing it

1504
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 1: to what Peepee does has done in the past. I've

1505
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 1: told her multiple times that I'm simply telling her about

1506
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:31,519
Speaker 1: how they both have pros and cons and how we

1507
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:35,960
Speaker 1: can also teach Poopoo with the methods we did with Peepee. Again,

1508
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,720
Speaker 1: I have tried telling her that some behavior may or

1509
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 1: may not be corrected, and even if it does, it

1510
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:44,240
Speaker 1: may take multiple times before it can be corrected.

1511
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 7: She's brought in.

1512
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:48,679
Speaker 1: Our last fight about how maybe I'm not the right

1513
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,800
Speaker 1: person for you, and maybe it's best that you find

1514
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,960
Speaker 1: someone else in your life that loves animals the way

1515
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:54,759
Speaker 1: you do. You see them as family.

1516
01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 7: I don't.

1517
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,360
Speaker 1: They are just pets to me. Maybe you need to reconsider.

1518
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 1: Oh that's correct. Yeah, that's a grocer than peepe and

1519
01:09:02,160 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 1: Poo poo.

1520
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:03,639
Speaker 3: It's true.

1521
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,880
Speaker 4: Like giv mean, no, I don't even know if that

1522
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 4: would be considered like an ultimative. It would more so

1523
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 4: just be like a threat, like of like you know,

1524
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:16,720
Speaker 4: I guess you need to find someone else, like just

1525
01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:19,599
Speaker 4: like giving even though it's their issue that they have,

1526
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 4: but you're making it.

1527
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 1: This is also the same thing with kids, Like you

1528
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:26,800
Speaker 1: take her to like a park and she sees kids

1529
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh my god, kids are so great.

1530
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 1: And then just the type of person where she's like

1531
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 1: she gonna have a kid and maybe she's attached to

1532
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:36,519
Speaker 1: it or attached to your children. Sure, but then she's like,

1533
01:09:37,560 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: the first one was so much better than the second one,

1534
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 1: and like the second one just like it just cries

1535
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 1: and doesn't stop, Like this is what I didn't picture

1536
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:45,639
Speaker 1: at the park.

1537
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:47,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know.

1538
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,479
Speaker 1: I don't like that mentality, where like, yeah, and the

1539
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 1: CA Cafe they were the best. I love the cats there.

1540
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:55,000
Speaker 1: They were like well behaved, they were you know, scratching

1541
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:58,480
Speaker 1: at things. This girl needs a grip on reality.

1542
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just seems like she very much doesn't want

1543
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:04,840
Speaker 4: to do the work. And it's just like, oh I

1544
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:07,200
Speaker 4: liked this one, why can't this one be like you know,

1545
01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:09,160
Speaker 4: our first one that we got. But the thing is

1546
01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 4: everyone's different, Like it's not going to be the same.

1547
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,080
Speaker 4: You're not going to have a duplicate of you know

1548
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 4: the same cat, or even the same child, or the

1549
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:19,479
Speaker 4: same of anything, because everyone's different.

1550
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:21,720
Speaker 1: I love her still, and she's helped me grow into

1551
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:25,160
Speaker 1: the person i've become now. So many things were achieved

1552
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,120
Speaker 1: because she was by my side. I've mentioned twice about

1553
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,640
Speaker 1: perhaps we should go to couple's therapy, and her reply was,

1554
01:10:31,120 --> 01:10:33,559
Speaker 1: we already spend enough money on things. And you know

1555
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 1: what it is referring to poop Poo. I'm at the

1556
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 1: crossroad and both roads are looking like it's passed away ends.

1557
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,760
Speaker 1: Is it time to take what she said to me

1558
01:10:42,960 --> 01:10:47,320
Speaker 1: to heart and reconsider If I were to give Poopo away,

1559
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:49,680
Speaker 1: I could possibly ask my parents to take him in

1560
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,839
Speaker 1: That means I could still see him from time to time. However,

1561
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 1: Peepee would probably be depressed and lonely, and so would I.

1562
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, The fact that she just keeps

1563
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:04,080
Speaker 1: resorting to the common denominator as like this this cat

1564
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:07,800
Speaker 1: is all, you know, is ruining everything, and she's using

1565
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:08,759
Speaker 1: that as an excuse.

1566
01:11:09,439 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 7: I don't like that.

1567
01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 3: I don't like that either.

1568
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 4: And plus, like now, the cats have kind of bonded,

1569
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:19,919
Speaker 4: so like if you were to take one away, you know, then.

1570
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:21,720
Speaker 7: They're both gonna be depressed cats. But I don't think

1571
01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:22,639
Speaker 7: she cares.

1572
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 1: She she has clearly stated she hates this cat. She's like,

1573
01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 1: I see its face, don't care. She hates that cat

1574
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:35,400
Speaker 1: for honestly for being a cat. Let's go ahead and

1575
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:38,480
Speaker 1: finish up the story. I think if she's really being

1576
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:42,960
Speaker 1: this stubborn about your second cat, you can try to,

1577
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 1: you know, have your second cat at your parents. But

1578
01:11:47,760 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 1: what if you you know, I think she's just considering

1579
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 1: favoritism and it's just not right. But who knows. Man,

1580
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 1: Hopefully it does get better. The couple's therapy thing, the

1581
01:11:57,360 --> 01:11:59,240
Speaker 1: fact that she's like, no, I don't want couple therapy.

1582
01:11:59,479 --> 01:12:01,760
Speaker 1: I think there's another underlying thing going on. And I

1583
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 1: would ask you, like, hey, what's really going on? Because

1584
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 1: this all really can't be stemming from the second cat.

1585
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,679
Speaker 4: So yeah, i'd agree, maybe there's something else like happening,

1586
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:13,240
Speaker 4: and that's just like something you know, out of their

1587
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,599
Speaker 4: control that they can you know, just blame it on,

1588
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,080
Speaker 4: rather than like actually trying to work things out and

1589
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:19,719
Speaker 4: doing all.

1590
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 1: The hard work exactly wef He says, I also can't

1591
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:25,599
Speaker 1: guarantee that she will forever be on the honeymoon phase.

1592
01:12:25,920 --> 01:12:29,040
Speaker 1: With Peepee, he may end up getting hated and despised

1593
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 1: in the future, although she currently says that at least

1594
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 1: with Peepee, we had him since he was a kitten

1595
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:37,600
Speaker 1: and has some sort of emotional attachment and feeling towards

1596
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:39,559
Speaker 1: I'm at a loss and don't know what to do.

1597
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:42,760
Speaker 7: Has anybody ever gone through something similar? And what did

1598
01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:44,520
Speaker 7: you do? Thanks?

1599
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,479
Speaker 1: And there is no comments.

1600
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:47,599
Speaker 7: That is the end of that story.

1601
01:12:48,080 --> 01:12:51,599
Speaker 1: So you got to try and do a compromise, especially

1602
01:12:51,680 --> 01:12:53,840
Speaker 1: since you guys are trying to make this work. I

1603
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:55,880
Speaker 1: feel like, hey, you can be like, hey, we can

1604
01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:59,959
Speaker 1: try and have you know, poo poo trained and see

1605
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,680
Speaker 1: what can be done. It's gonna take some time. I

1606
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:05,400
Speaker 1: can maybe leave them at my parents, but our first

1607
01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:06,719
Speaker 1: cat is not going to be very happy.

1608
01:13:07,640 --> 01:13:07,840
Speaker 2: You know.

1609
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,720
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll give you some space and some sanity and

1610
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:14,760
Speaker 1: see if that works. I highly suggest couples therapy too,

1611
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:16,479
Speaker 1: see if you know what's going on there.

1612
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,240
Speaker 7: But I don't know.

1613
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,599
Speaker 1: It's it's something you you know, the fact that you've

1614
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:24,040
Speaker 1: tried to communicate with her and say you can't blame

1615
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:27,280
Speaker 1: it all on the cat. You know, it's a learning situation.

1616
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:30,160
Speaker 1: This is about This is about having pets, this is

1617
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 1: how pets are and she just is fully, fully closed

1618
01:13:33,160 --> 01:13:33,559
Speaker 1: about it.

1619
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:36,840
Speaker 7: I don't know. I feel there's more more to it,

1620
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:38,639
Speaker 7: and that's the end of his story.