1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please 3 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. You never know it could 7 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,279 Speaker 1: be yours. Buckle up, hold on tight, We got it 8 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 1: for you here realise Strawberry letter. All right, nephew, thank you. 9 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: Subject Am I number one or two? Dear Stephen Shirley. Yeah, 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: my husband and I've been together for six years and 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: married three. He's thirty seven and I'm thirty one. He's 12 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: divorced and has a son and a daughter from his marriage. 13 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: I absolutely adore them, and they spend weekends and summers 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 1: with us. My husband has always put his children first, 15 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: and I love that about him. He still finds time 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: to spoil me by doing all of the cooking, planning 17 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: dates for us, and sending me flowers at work or 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: randomly calling me during the day to say he loves me. 19 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: In addition to all of that, he's an amazing lover. 20 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: There's just one problem I'm having with our marriage, he's 21 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: still too close to his ex wife. His ex wife 22 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: sends him videos, often of the children doing things around 23 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: the house, or she facetimes him if she's in the 24 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: car with the children. I don't have a problem with 25 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: the videos of the children, because children grow up fast 26 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: and he's not with them twenty four to seven. I 27 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: do have a problem when his ex wife is his 28 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: front and center in the videos and has put on makeup, 29 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 1: lashes and her new wig for the video. My husband 30 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: and I were leaving church this past Sunday and his 31 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: ex wife facetimed us with the children. She didn't know 32 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: I was with him, and the first thing she said 33 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,639 Speaker 1: was that she got her hair cut in the style 34 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: he used to love because she was tired of wearing wigs. 35 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: Then she asked if he liked it, and he responded 36 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: that he always thought that style was very complimentary to 37 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: her face. I sat there heartbroken and quiet. I think 38 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: it's inappropriate to speak to his x this munch and 39 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: about something so personal when she calls him or sends videos, 40 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: I feel like the third wheel. She was his high 41 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: school sweetheart, and he said he will always cherish her 42 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: as a mother of his children. So am I number 43 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: one or number two? Come on, you're number one. I 44 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: mean I gotta say this to you. Please don't go 45 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 1: getting all insecure on us. Okay, insecure is a TV show. 46 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 1: All right, you are okay. You just gotta know that 47 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: you are married to this man. It sounds like you 48 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: have nothing to worry about. What did you say in 49 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: your letter? Let me read your words back to you. 50 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: He plans dates, he cooks all the meals. He sends 51 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: you flowers at work, you know, randomly calls you during 52 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: the day just to say he loves you. He's an 53 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: amazing lover. You are married to this man. It sounds 54 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: like you have nothing to worry about. The ex wife 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: is trying you don't get scared and let her throw 56 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: you off your game. She wants to cause problems between 57 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: the two of you. Do not let her. She is 58 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: the X she's really the insecure one. Why else would 59 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: she be tripping like that with him? Your husband? Your 60 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 1: husband actually sounds a little scared, you know, like he 61 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: doesn't really know what to do in that situation when 62 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: she asks him stuff like that. He is trying to 63 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: keep the peace, okay, so he can still see his 64 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: sons and everything can be cool. I'm not excusing his 65 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: behavior anything like that, because he could say something to her, 66 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: but who knows. Then she could cause some unnecessary problems 67 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: as far as letting him see the kids when he 68 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: needs doing all of that, or she could just be 69 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: a bee. I mean, if she facetimes him while you're there, 70 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: just lean in and say, hey, girl, what's up? You know, 71 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: oh your hair looks cute, or whatever you want to 72 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: say at that time. Let her know you're there. I mean, 73 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: he married you, he's still with you. So remember you 74 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: have the upper hand. You are number one. You are 75 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: number one. She doesn't even have a number at this point. 76 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: She's the ex so know who you are. Don't get 77 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: sucked into her silly, childish games. Okay, please don't do that, Steve. 78 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: I just see a letter. Feel with insecurity exactly, that's 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: all I see the woman that wrote the letter. You're 80 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: just completely insecure, and I think you're making a case 81 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: out of nothing. I'm assuming that the kids are young 82 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: and that's why she sends all the videos and all 83 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: this hell, but surely nail it on the head. They 84 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: spend weekends and summers with y'all. You absolutely adoram your 85 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: husband always puts his kid first and you love that 86 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: about him. Then he's still spoiling you, cooking, playing the dates, 87 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: flowers at work, randomly calling doing the day to say 88 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: love you what? And then he's an amazing lover. The 89 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 1: only problem I'm having I married. He's too close to 90 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: his ex wife. She sends him videos of children doing 91 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: things around the house. It's his kids, they his kids. 92 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: If she's in the car with the children, she facetimes him. 93 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with the videos of the 94 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: children because the children growing fast, he's not around him. Okay, cool, 95 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: But then you say I do have a problem when 96 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: his ex wife is front and center of the videos. 97 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: Who the kids don't have the phone, the kids don't FaceTime. 98 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,119 Speaker 1: How else do you know how many times them kids 99 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: probably go I want to talk to my daddy or 100 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: can I talk to daddy? You know how many times 101 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: they'll say that because they seem to have a great relationship. 102 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,039 Speaker 1: So now you're mad because she didn't put on makeup, 103 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: lashes and her new wig for the video. Do you 104 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: would you prefer the old wig? Wig? I mean, you 105 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: know you're mad because it's the new wig. I'm just 106 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: trying to figure out where you ad you know now 107 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: your husband and I was leaving church this past Sunday 108 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: and the ex wife facetimed us with the children. Now, 109 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: she didn't know I was winning. The first thing she 110 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: said was she got a hair cut in the style 111 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 1: he used to love because she was tired of wearing wigs. 112 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: And he asked if he liked it, and he responded 113 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: he always thought that style was compliment of her faith. 114 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: I said that, heartbroken and quiet, heartbroken because somebody said 115 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: they're like a half style instead a damn week lady, 116 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: you a lot. I'll be back. You were a lot though. Yeah, 117 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: we'll have heart. Two of Steve's response coming up at 118 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter. Subject 119 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: and am I number one or number two? We'll get 120 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: back into it right after day. You're listening show, all right, 121 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject 122 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: at my number one or number two? Okay. The wife 123 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: is married to this man thirty seven thirty one, two kids. 124 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: They absolutely love the kids and spend weekends and summers 125 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: with y'all. The husband always put the kids first, but 126 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: she's still feel time to spoil her cooking, cleaning, planning dates, 127 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: sending flowers, randomly, calling great, loving everything. The only problem 128 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: is too close to his ex wife. His ex wife 129 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: sending videos of the children doing stuff around the house. 130 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: So what or she facetimes? And if she's in the 131 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: car with the children, the children want to talk today, Daddy. 132 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with the videos of the children, 133 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: cause children grow up fast. Okay, stay right there with that. 134 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: I do have a problem with the ex wife in 135 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: front and sending in all the videos. What the kids? 136 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: How all of these kids? They ain't got no FaceTime? 137 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: Who else is gonna cut the phone on? Lady? My 138 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: husband and I were leaving church this past so and 139 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: here the party messed up the letter and the ex 140 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: wife FaceTime is with the children. And know I was 141 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: with him in the first thing. Now, y'all leaving church together? 142 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: Are you hearing all of this? Y'all leaving Chase together? 143 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: First thing she said when she got the haircut in 144 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,119 Speaker 1: the style he used to love because she was tired 145 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: of wearing wigs. Then she has if he liked it, 146 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: he responded, he always thought that style was very complimented 147 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: to her. Face. That's all he said. I said that 148 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: heartbroken and quiet. I think it's inappropriate to speak to 149 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: his ex wife this much about something so personal. A wig, 150 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: a haircut, a wig lady's when she calls and sends videos. 151 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 1: I feel like third will. She was his high school sweetheart, 152 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: and he said he will always cherish her as the 153 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: mother of his children. So I'm I number one and 154 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: number two. You're number one. Stop acting like you number two. 155 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: See you doing this to yourself because he ain't doing 156 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: nothing to you. You are insecure. The man is not 157 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: doing anything to you, lady. Get look okay, okay, hold on, 158 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: check this part out right here. Okay, if she facetimes 159 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: with the kids, but they just have a general conversation. Also, 160 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: she is the now current ex wife, right, Why are 161 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: you steady bringing up the fact that they was high 162 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: school sweethearts. That has nothing to do with it. You 163 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: are the current wife. They broke up because they didn't work. 164 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: He's done nothing to say he want her back. But 165 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: the man said he will always cherish her as the 166 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: mother of his children. That's pretty respectful. That's pretty respect 167 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 1: I think. So. Yeah, he didn't say love her, he 168 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: didn't say want her. He just said, cherish her. She 169 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: did a great thing. Man, I just I don't, I don't. 170 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: I don't understand this letter, right, you have a problem 171 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 1: except yeah, you write it's about that Shirley's sister. You 172 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: got to just back up, chill out for a minute. 173 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: You all right, there's no need to even write the letter. 174 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: He ain't even said nothing inappropriate to him. If you 175 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: mad at the fact that she's sitting in your husband video, now, 176 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: if your husband starts sitting in her videos, you got 177 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,839 Speaker 1: a problem. Yeah, And Steve, let me ask you this. 178 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: Don't you think that he's trying to keep the peace, 179 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 1: you know when he talks to her, or he's you know, 180 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: nice to her or whatever. Just you know, when she 181 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: asked him about the wig, I think is complimentary to 182 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: your face or whatever? You know, all it is. Yeah, 183 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: he didn't say you find this here, so you know, yeah, 184 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,199 Speaker 1: you know you you you you in't here adding off 185 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: to this. Plus they are did it? Are they enemies? See? 186 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think they got divorced as enemies. 187 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like they're They're trying to co parents 188 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 1: and that's it. That's all they're trying to do is 189 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: bring these kids up. That's it. She the X is 190 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: extra now, she is very extra with it. You know 191 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: she's trying. She's like I says, she's trying her. Yeah, 192 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: she's trying her. She is. You don't know your number one. 193 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: You don't know all the stuff you said he's doing 194 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: for you, and she's just she's all. But surely she 195 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 1: said it all in the letter. Yeah, you know, taking 196 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: a bit from the girl. Don't let her do this 197 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: to you. What Yeah, get yourself together. You lost all 198 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: your confidence. You gotta come on now, look where look 199 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: where she is, Look where you are, and look where 200 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: the X is. The X wants to be where you are. 201 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: Don't let her do it by you acting insecure, you know, 202 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: get your swag back. Yeah, come on now. And you 203 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: said you love the kids and all of that, Well, 204 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 1: you know she don't. You know, you know, like I said, 205 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:29,719 Speaker 1: a lotter of total insecurity, just total insecurity. So I 206 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: can't help you, ma'am. You got to pull yourself together. 207 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 1: Chilean said it outam said it. You create the problem 208 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: that don't exist. But if you keep on doing this 209 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: to the man, and I don't even it don't even 210 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: sound like he irritated by you just over that trip, 211 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: and I'm sitting here heartbroken and quiet talking about her Wig. 212 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: A lot more things to be heartbroken about, really ever 213 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: talk about? All right? Thank you? Steve. Post for comments 214 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,319 Speaker 1: on today Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram 215 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 216 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, Steve's 217 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: Hood Olympic Report. Okay, we'll get to it right after this. 218 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Name Harvey Morning Show.