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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts and.

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Speaker 2: We have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors, So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My in laws are involved in a cult and are

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Speaker 3: now moving to Nigeria. God wills it, and there is

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Speaker 3: a trigger warning for religious manipulation and cult like practices.

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Speaker 3: My wife's parents and two sisters have often been more

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Speaker 3: prominent in our lives than my side of the family,

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Speaker 3: especially since our son was born. In twenty sixteen. My

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Speaker 3: mother in law was fighting cancer while my wife was pregnant,

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Speaker 3: which included her doing chemo in the early months of

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Speaker 3: his life. During all of this, she was there helping

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Speaker 3: and loving him, saying her goal was just to be

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Speaker 3: as Nana. By the way, this comes from here, Hold this,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separated it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Riley, I'm Keon.

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Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we

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Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

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Speaker 3: do do, so let us know what you would do

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Speaker 3: in the comments, and OP says. Right after my son

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Speaker 3: was born, my father in law began to experience heart

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Speaker 3: issues and had to undergo emergency heart surgery. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: that's a lot going on for eupe. He was essentially

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Speaker 3: a cheeseburger from passing. Huh oh, because he had like

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Speaker 3: he had heart issues from probably eating unhealthily, so he

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Speaker 3: was going to have a heart attack from not eating.

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Speaker 2: Dude. I thought this was like.

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Speaker 3: I thought that was a new metric system.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was like a vegetable thing when people

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Speaker 2: are called that. Oh oh, I was like ches.

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Speaker 3: I thought they were just using cheeseburger as a metric.

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Speaker 3: During recovering, my wife would bring our week's old son

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Speaker 3: to see him in the hospital. My father in law

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Speaker 3: only wanted to see two people, his own father and Greg.

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Speaker 3: Greg is my sister in law and brother in law's pastor.

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Speaker 3: He met my parents in law at my sister in

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Speaker 3: law's wedding a year before. At the roversal dinner, my

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Speaker 3: wife and I were sat at a step table while

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Speaker 3: Greg was sat with the rest of the immediate family

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Speaker 3: at the main table. At the time, this bothered me,

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Speaker 3: and in hindsight it was the writing on the wall.

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Speaker 3: Greg was obsessed with them. He wanted nothing more than

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Speaker 3: to get them to go to his new church, which

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Speaker 3: was held in his father's house. Oh despite his efforts

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Speaker 3: to gain favor with the parents, he never said a

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Speaker 3: word passed introduction to my wife and me. Mmmmm. My

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Speaker 3: sister in law and brother in law met at a

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Speaker 3: church that Greg split off from to create his church.

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Speaker 3: Oh so Greg. Greg left his church and was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm starting something new, guys, It's gonna be crazy, and

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Speaker 3: everyone has to pay me one hundred dollars a month.

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Speaker 2: Money, money, money. My parents were involved in a pastor

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Speaker 2: doing some sketchy things behind the scenes, not good. He

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Speaker 2: was sorry. They were not. They just saw it happened.

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Speaker 2: They did not help him.

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Speaker 3: My parents were involved in the sketchy stuff with them.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no.

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Speaker 3: He was the youth pastor, so majority of his congregation

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Speaker 3: was under twenty five. The church members constituted a majority

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Speaker 3: of the wedding party, and Greg married them. Presumably he

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Speaker 3: didn't marry them, he was. He wore snake skin cowboy boots,

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Speaker 3: which I will never get over post heart surgery. My

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Speaker 3: father in law was never the same. He'd always been

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Speaker 3: the most quiet, conscientious man I had ever met. Now

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Speaker 3: he was dancing, laughing, and talking more than I had

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Speaker 3: seen him do in five plus years. Whoa. This, of course,

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Speaker 3: was associated with a heavy interest in making it to

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Speaker 3: every church event. My mother in law went with him,

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Speaker 3: having just experienced a face to face encounter with her

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Speaker 3: mortality as well. It started off simple, complete with all

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Speaker 3: of a non denominational church's charms and tropes, something I

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Speaker 3: had experienced multiple times throughout my childhood. My wife and

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Speaker 3: her youngest sister went a couple of times to test

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Speaker 3: the waters and concluded that although the people were nice,

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Speaker 3: it just wasn't for them. Okay, but when you attend

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Speaker 3: the church and then don't come back, you get a

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Speaker 3: Facebook message from the pastor's wife asking where you are

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Speaker 3: and telling you how much they missed you.

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Speaker 2: That could be sweet. We miss you, come out, we

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Speaker 2: miss you, or we missed having you great? Where were you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Why couldn't you make it? The youngest sister would

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Speaker 3: get this message every week, accompanied by father in law

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Speaker 3: constantly pressing her to come with them. Because she still

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Speaker 3: lived with them at the time. It creeped her ound

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Speaker 3: and she would only go occasionally to lessen the pressure.

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Speaker 3: I was personally never invited, which always confused me. A

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Speaker 3: hallmark of non denominational Christian churches is the supposed widespread

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Speaker 3: appeal to non believers, which creates an imperative to bring

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Speaker 3: as many guests as possible, especially the most lost people.

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Speaker 2: You know, it is a very evangelist evangelist evangelist based church.

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Speaker 2: A lot of Yeah, that's kind of like their whole thing.

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Speaker 3: It was never a foregone conclusion that anyone was a

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Speaker 3: wasted cause, except apparently for me and to a lesser degree,

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Speaker 3: my wife. My son would go with Nana and Grandpa

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Speaker 3: to church every Sunday while my wife and I worked.

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Speaker 3: One day, my wife's youngest sister appropriately was freaked out

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Speaker 3: about something that had been going on at the church.

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Speaker 3: I honestly would not allow my child to go to

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Speaker 3: a church that I hadn't gone to. Yeah, agreed, I

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Speaker 3: think that you should know what's going on in that

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Speaker 3: church and what they're teaching. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Also, I've never seen the word pray at all in

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Speaker 2: this story. No one has prayed a single word.

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Speaker 3: All of the congregation purportedly has gifts prophecy.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh okay, like powers.

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Speaker 3: Prophecy through God speaking directly, healing, interpretation, prophetic dreaming, exorcism, prayer,

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Speaker 3: speaking in tongues, et cetera. One guy just knows like

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Speaker 3: a couple of languages, and he's like, whoa he knows Latin, guy, yea,

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Speaker 3: he knows Latin speaking in tongues thing, Yeah, oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: I've seen that have But it seems like they're all

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Speaker 3: like everyone gets a power. And this one guy who's

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Speaker 3: already I'm just saying he probably already.

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Speaker 4: Knows Sarcel tongue.

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Speaker 3: What is well?

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Speaker 4: Dog, what is that?

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Speaker 2: The tongues thing? I've seen it happen before, and like

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Speaker 2: there's literally no one knows what language it is. Well,

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Speaker 2: but then it's not even a mix of language. It's

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Speaker 2: just like no one knows what it is.

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Speaker 3: But then, is that just not speaking gibberish? You could

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Speaker 3: you could compare it to that, Like if I just

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Speaker 3: started going, would that not be like.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna get vulnerable here?

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Speaker 4: This guy spitting facts, this guy spitting stuff easy.

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Speaker 2: At one point I was praying and I did speak

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Speaker 2: in tongues. I spoke something, don't know what it was.

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Speaker 2: It did not feel like it was through me. But

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Speaker 2: I spect something that was not English, but it felt

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Speaker 2: like the right thing. It just it felt like it

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Speaker 2: was the right thing to say in the moment, but

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Speaker 2: it wasn't like actual words, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, as two people who went to Catholic

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Speaker 4: school in this room.

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Speaker 2: No, it was very I was very I was like,

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Speaker 2: what just happened to me? I was very freaked out

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Speaker 2: by it too, But it took a little bit for me.

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Speaker 2: But the problem that I have with this story not

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Speaker 2: the gifts. It's just like I can see the manipulation

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Speaker 2: from a mile away.

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Speaker 3: That's about well, yeah, very clear me.

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Speaker 2: But that that's me. Lab take with that what you want.

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Speaker 4: I'm scared now.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to, you know, just take with that

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Speaker 2: what you want.

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Speaker 4: Scared now. And I'm the guy with ghosts. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: These concepts really aren't uncommon to these kinds of churches.

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Speaker 3: The girl who can astral project had a spiritual encounter

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Speaker 3: with a few witches in a coven in a nearby town.

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Speaker 4: What is what?

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Speaker 2: Actually? What is that? What does astral project?

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Speaker 3: It's like when you have your spirit go somewhere else

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Speaker 3: to the spirit like this, it's like, if I'm here,

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Speaker 3: I could spiritually be at your house.

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Speaker 4: Project, which is actually that's a very like a very

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Speaker 4: big thing, and especially since they said Nigeria, it's a

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Speaker 4: very big thing, and like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in different cultures you can have that, okay, or

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Speaker 3: that's like a thing. She helped all of them find

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Speaker 3: Christ while commuting with them in the spirit realm. It

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Speaker 3: was later revealed to her that the other members of

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Speaker 3: the coven found out and unlived them.

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Speaker 4: Well, what is this story? This is a this is

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Speaker 4: a gnarly story.

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Speaker 3: What you read that correctly?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: I didn't. Could you read that one more time? Is?

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Speaker 2: Where is it? Is this happening in? Like is this

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Speaker 2: happening in Nigeria?

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Speaker 3: But I don't think they've left in Nigeria yet. Where

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Speaker 3: it seems like what we have so far is this girl,

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Speaker 3: one of the girls in the church who has the

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Speaker 3: power to astral project supposedly found a couple of witches

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Speaker 3: in a spiritual encounter. Yeah, she found a coven and

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Speaker 3: helped some of those witches find Christ, and then the

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Speaker 3: other witches in the coven unlive them.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm reading the New the Old Testament

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 3: Okay, what ah boy, Greg, instead of stopping this insanity

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Speaker 3: in its tracks, decided to run with it.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, Okay, So.

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Speaker 3: I also don't even believe that that happened. Okay, do

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Speaker 3: we have any proof that anyone has passed away?

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Speaker 2: That guy said, Yeah, She's like, what happened?

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Speaker 3: I was spiritually there and I could feel their souls

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Speaker 3: leaving their bodies. No one's met these witches, you faith?

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Speaker 3: She literally it seems like she had a dream about witches.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps. Also, if you are a Christian and you actually

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Speaker 2: love God and Jesus, the second something like that happens,

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Speaker 2: you stop it. You say we're going to the police,

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Speaker 2: We're taking consequences. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you actually think that someone has been unalived? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: says there's death in this story. I don't think this

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Speaker 3: is true. She is lying. This is when the church

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Speaker 3: began to have their weekly gift meetings and spiritual warfare

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Speaker 3: became central.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: To be clear, she has not actually witnessed an unaliving.

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Speaker 3: She saw it in her spirit realm. To be clear,

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Speaker 3: in her mind's eye, they would request to burn items

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Speaker 3: containing pagan imagery they found in our house while babysitting.

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Speaker 3: God also told Greg to make my father in law

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Speaker 3: an elder in the church. Since they were spending so

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Speaker 3: much time at church, my in laws began to become

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Speaker 3: more neglectful to their dogs.

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Speaker 2: Gonna, I'm gonna, I have to interviewing again my pastor

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Speaker 2: back in Tennessee. And I love dearly and I find

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Speaker 2: him to be an actual man of God, and I'm

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Speaker 2: so called. He's actually a man of God. Always goes

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Speaker 2: to see his dog. He actually leaves Evince early. There

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Speaker 2: so many times. Yeah, I gotta go take their backs.

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Speaker 3: He's halfway through, he's halfway through the de sermony. He's

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Speaker 3: like my dog. To take care of your dog.

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Speaker 2: He's like, I gotta go check on him real quick.

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Speaker 3: In doing so, the younger dog began to lash out

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Speaker 3: and misbehave. Why did my father in law think this

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Speaker 3: was happening? She was possessed by a demon. Of course,

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Speaker 3: I immediately began to notice these kinds of assumptions were

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Speaker 3: being made about our immediate family. Any counterpoints I offered

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Speaker 3: about witches and demons were just confirmation that, in my agnosticism,

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Speaker 3: I was a tool of doubt for the enemy. Tool

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Speaker 3: of doubt the enemy, who's the enemy?

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Speaker 4: Non believers.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I have I have a soapbox to go on.

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Speaker 2: Let me know when you're ready.

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Speaker 3: Okay, we get to the open. At this point, we

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Speaker 3: felt uncoed comfortable letting our son go with them on Sundays,

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Speaker 3: which coincided with my mother in law letting on that

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Speaker 3: watching my son at church was getting in the way

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Speaker 3: for experience. She's like, I actually I'd be you know,

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Speaker 3: more than happy for your son to not come anymore.

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Speaker 3: That because we're going Caoreese.

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Speaker 2: That also shows you that these people it's more of

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Speaker 2: a cult than actually following Jesus because.

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Speaker 3: They're not even trying to evangelize the sun anymore. They're

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Speaker 3: not because they've got prime real estate with a young kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they always say the youth of tomorrow is the

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Speaker 2: youth of to like is the future of today. Like

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Speaker 2: you have to you know, invest in them and want

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Speaker 2: them to be invest If you're saying I don't want

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Speaker 2: to worship with your kid anymore.

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Speaker 3: I mean it makes you things easier for you because

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Speaker 3: you're able to get them out of there good. But

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Speaker 3: that is again, don't let your kids just you know,

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Speaker 3: go anywhere without checking on where they're going.

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Speaker 2: At least check the church website at least do that.

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Speaker 3: I honestly personally would not. I wouldn't mind if if

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Speaker 3: we're going to like church on a Christmas I'm no

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Speaker 3: longer religious. But if, like my not a parent, my

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Speaker 3: dad was like, hey, like, can we take the kids

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Speaker 3: to church on Christmas or whatever? I'd like that because

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Speaker 3: I know, you know, the church might know my parents

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah. But this is if I didn't know

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Speaker 3: the church, I'd be like, can I let me check

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Speaker 3: it out first? I want to see what they're teaching here?

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Speaker 4: You walk into this. Can you imagine?

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Speaker 3: The youngest sister met a boy at the youth group.

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Speaker 3: She had never had a boyfriend, despite being one of

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Speaker 3: the most amazing girls I know. So she began going

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Speaker 3: to the church to see the boy every chance she got.

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Speaker 3: Almost immediately, we went from hanging out with her every

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Speaker 3: day to only seeing her in passing. Seemingly overnight, she

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Speaker 3: had an entirely new group of friends. We were completely

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Speaker 3: socially alienated as far as recreational time was concerned. They

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Speaker 3: always made cordial. We were invited to all family events.

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Speaker 3: My mother in law babysat our son every day for

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Speaker 3: a few hours overlapping with our shifts, and occasionally the

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Speaker 3: sister would watch him so mother in law could prepare

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Speaker 3: for the Tuesday night church meeting. Other than these three things,

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Speaker 3: all others spare time was dedicated wholly to the church,

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Speaker 3: despite the fact that we rent a house across the

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Speaker 3: street from them. Yeah wow, you guys are right next

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Speaker 3: to them and they're just not even home ever.

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Speaker 2: Which is also crazy because another thing that the Bible

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Speaker 2: says is to rest.

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Speaker 3: It's chi they're never resting.

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Speaker 2: And if you're not resting making a church because like

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Speaker 2: churches do they you got your small groups, you got

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Speaker 2: your events, you got your like you know, if they're

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Speaker 2: not in the actual church. I've been a part of

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Speaker 2: churches where we're not in We're like in a school

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Speaker 2: gym and we have to set up and de set

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Speaker 2: up chairs and like it's like a whole It takes

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Speaker 2: a lot of time out. And so if you're if

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Speaker 2: they're like an elder of a church, I know that

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Speaker 2: pastor is using vulner in law so much.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, la, I mean the thing is that father

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Speaker 3: in law and mother in law were in an incredibly

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Speaker 3: vulnerable state because they went through you know this moment

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Speaker 3: where they thought that they were going to pass away,

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Speaker 3: or at least the father in law thought he was

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Speaker 3: going to pass away. And so when you're in that

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Speaker 3: vulnerable state, it's really easy for people to pray on you,

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Speaker 3: especially with religious you know.

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Speaker 2: The children and elder.

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Speaker 3: This period was riddled with rumors of exorcisms in the

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Speaker 3: basement of the church. My in laws let a young

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Speaker 3: girl move in with them who was apparently spicy, sleepily

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Speaker 3: active with her boyfriend. The church tried to exercise her

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Speaker 3: and failed, resulting in her being excommunicated. She had a

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Speaker 3: Jezebel spirit. We eventually ran into her brother, who also attended,

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Speaker 3: while he was working a local warmart. He looked worried

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Speaker 3: when he saw us and begged us not to tell

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Speaker 3: anyone where he was.

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Speaker 2: This is Gary, you can't even work a job, eh, Gary.

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Speaker 3: It was prophesied that my sister in law and her

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Speaker 3: husband would adopt from Nigeria, to the point they even

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Speaker 3: had a specific boy picked out in the prophecy. Eventually,

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Speaker 3: this led them to traveling there to meet him in

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Speaker 3: the form of a missions trip. You're trying to kidnap

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Speaker 3: a boy from Nigeria while in Nigeria. They held a

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Speaker 3: massive revival ceremony where supposedly thousands of Nigerians gathered to

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Speaker 3: hear the Americans speak. Okay, feels super weird.

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Speaker 2: I have like my pastor's done like revivals where he

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Speaker 2: goes to like another country and like, yes speaks.

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Speaker 3: I don't trust these guys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, my brother in.

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Speaker 3: Law told me he healed a blind man while he

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Speaker 3: was there. Oh my, okay, believe you dude, You're not Jesus.

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Speaker 3: They got to meet the boy they were supposed to

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Speaker 3: adopt and found out it wasn't easy for an American

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Speaker 3: to adopt from Nigeria, as it requires a minimum of

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Speaker 3: one year residency in the country. They made connections. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you can just steal this little boy.

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Speaker 2: And guess what if the big man above actually wanted

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Speaker 2: you to happen, he would have aligned it to happen. Like,

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Speaker 2: there's a friend of mine. He's from the Ukraine, and

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Speaker 2: it was a very minimal chance of him coming to

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Speaker 2: Ukraine because he was very young male. And they were like,

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Speaker 2: your visa's probably not gonna happen. But like they prayed,

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Speaker 2: drive right again, and he came to America and made

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Speaker 2: it happen, like God right away. This just feels like

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Speaker 2: people are forcing so many things to happen.

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Speaker 3: It's striving me that they made connections with local pastors

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Speaker 3: and set the groundwork for a return. Shortly after returning

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Speaker 3: to the US, they found out they were pregnant with

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Speaker 3: a child of their own. They gave birth to my

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Speaker 3: beautiful nephew, and, at least verbally to me and my

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Speaker 3: wife lost interest in adoption. No wait, you're in laws

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Speaker 3: just had a kid.

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Speaker 2: I think brother in law.

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Speaker 3: Suits Oh okay, okay, because they yeah, yeah, right, right right, you.

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Speaker 2: Can't tell as Americans, you can't tell this kid we're

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Speaker 2: gonna take you home.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't even think they could take them. I

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Speaker 3: think they were like, we want that kid, and yeah,

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Speaker 3: Nigeria adoption agency was like no, no, and they were like, well,

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Speaker 3: jokes on you, because we are having a kid ourselves.

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Speaker 3: And they were like, okay, I.

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Speaker 2: Feel bad for the boy.

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Speaker 3: It's probably I don't even know if they like that

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Speaker 3: went anywhere though, you know.

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Speaker 2: But they picked them out and the boy was probably like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, yay.

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Speaker 3: Eventually, my wife's youngest sister found out the boy from

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Speaker 3: the church. She was dating was a total d bag,

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Speaker 3: laying the field with all the church girls. Did he

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Speaker 3: get an exorcism? After they broke up, she still remained

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Speaker 3: fully dedicated to the church. She ended up moving out

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Speaker 3: of her parents' house in an apartment with a girl

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Speaker 3: in the congregation. This girl would now be an intent

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Speaker 3: and it's at all of our future family holiday gatherings.

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Speaker 3: Regardless of my objections, my parents in law were now

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Speaker 3: spending more time at church than at home, and due

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Speaker 3: to our reaction to the witch saga, they were all

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Speaker 3: now keeping church details secret from us. At one point,

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Speaker 3: it came out that my mother in law had been

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Speaker 3: saying she loves God more than her grandson. The church

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Speaker 3: family had also been elevated higher than worldly family. As

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Speaker 3: it about christian this is something more or less commanded

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Speaker 3: of you. I was well aware of this concept, but

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Speaker 3: had never experienced it firsthand. I had especially never thought

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Speaker 3: I'd see a child of mine be depreciated by it.

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Speaker 3: She went from using the prospect of being nana to

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Speaker 3: my son to survive cancer to favoring her church family

379
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Speaker 3: and God over that very same grandson in the span

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Speaker 3: of a little over two years. So when she was

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Speaker 3: trying to like fight cancer. She was like, you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to use my grandson to get through this.

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Speaker 3: And then and then it's like.

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Speaker 2: I don't really see me like I do love God,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's like, is like God family than this,

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Speaker 2: But like God doesn't say don't take your grandson to church.

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Speaker 3: You love me only it just feels like.

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Speaker 4: Or abandon them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like this is just it does not add up

390
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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 3: Around this same time, she quit her nursing career abruptly.

392
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Speaker 3: At this point, I began to watch sermons from their

393
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Speaker 3: church Facebook page to see if my concerns were true

394
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Speaker 3: that Greg is a manipulator. In the opening of the sermon,

395
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Speaker 3: Greg says something to the effect of Lord, may only

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Speaker 3: your words come through me.

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Speaker 2: No, dude, you're literally like, ah, he's the voice of God. Guys,

398
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Speaker 2: you're like, you know, you just come here. Whatever. It

399
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Speaker 2: didn't really mean anything. I am the voice of truth.

400
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Speaker 3: I mean, he says, he healed the blind person. In

401
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Speaker 3: saying this, he is speaking for God. In the most

402
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Speaker 3: recent sermon, Greg was praising two church members who had

403
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Speaker 3: listened to God and quit their jobs for whatever his

404
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 3: plan may be. No one of them being my mother

405
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Speaker 3: in law. Oh, Greg has a way of indirectly speaking

406
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Speaker 3: directly to people. Some of you haven't been called to

407
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Speaker 3: this yet or were you just not listening? As I watched,

408
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Speaker 3: I found out Greg had just returned from an independent

409
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Speaker 3: trip to Nigeria where he met with a governor and

410
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Speaker 3: a few pastors. He revealed the governor was going to

411
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Speaker 3: give the church a large plot of land to build

412
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Speaker 3: the Christian Compound for youth and ministry, and that all

413
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Speaker 3: of the Nigerian prophecy was coming into fruition. This is

414
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Speaker 3: so ichy. I hate this.

415
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Speaker 2: What are they smuggling?

416
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Speaker 3: Mind you, years of ties later, this service is still

417
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Speaker 3: being held in a house. When I talked to my

418
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 3: wife about this, she let me know about an older

419
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Speaker 3: prophecy given to Greg that she heard in the early years.

420
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 3: Greg and the church were going to own a large

421
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Speaker 3: portion of their local town and it would be a

422
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Speaker 3: factory of disciples. This is the church's ultimate goal. Oh

423
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Speaker 3: my goodness, no.

424
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Speaker 4: This is a crazy story.

425
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Speaker 3: We started to realize that my in laws were planning

426
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Speaker 3: to go on a trip to Nigeria with the church.

427
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Speaker 2: They're not coming back.

428
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Speaker 3: We had to confront them and force them to admit

429
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Speaker 3: it to us. Even the sisters were complicit in obstructing

430
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Speaker 3: the truth. They were going to wait until the last

431
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Speaker 3: minute to tell us. Early this April, they went with

432
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Speaker 3: eleven other people from the church, most of them under

433
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Speaker 3: twenty five. In fact, one girl got kicked out of

434
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Speaker 3: her house for insisting on going and had been living

435
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Speaker 3: with my parents in law. They were so welcome by

436
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Speaker 3: the government that they stayed in the governor's mansion, had

437
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Speaker 3: armed bodyguards, and were invited to meet the King of Nigeria,

438
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Speaker 3: who is a Christian. It is worth noting that Nigeria

439
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: is about fifty to fifty Muslim and Christian. The king

440
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 3: and some governors are Christian, while the democratically elected president

441
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:32,360
Speaker 3: is Muslim. This sounds so icky, y'all. They're literally trying

442
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 3: to like collude with They're trying to collude with this,

443
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 3: you know, church group to try and take over.

444
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 4: Gathering their soldiers. Yeah, they're gathering their numbers.

445
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 3: They visited an orphanage, a market, a refugee camp, and

446
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 3: the church's gifted land to anoint it healing people. Along

447
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 3: the way. In the market, they all had separate prayer

448
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 3: lines of hundreds of people lining up to be prayed

449
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 3: for by the American Church. My mother in law told

450
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 3: me people had deemed resisting within them, laying down, screaming,

451
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 3: and spasming. Even as a nurse, Rabies was no longer

452
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: a possible diagnosis in her mind. They safely returned, but

453
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 3: were that much more devoted to the cause. We have

454
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 3: suspicions that my mother in law is now the pastor's

455
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,360
Speaker 3: wife's assistant, but she hasn't told us. Every time I've

456
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 3: seen my father in law since he's been in his

457
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 3: official church polo. Last Sunday, they told us that they

458
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: planned to move to Nigeria in October for a minimum

459
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 3: of a year, the length of time dictated by Greg

460
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 3: to lay the groundwork for the project with two other couples.

461
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 3: One of the couples is my sister and brother in law,

462
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 3: along with my nine month old nephew. No. I was

463
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 3: finally completely forthcoming with them about what I've seen from

464
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 3: the church, and my mother in law finally said it

465
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 3: to my face, she loves God more than my son.

466
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 3: My father in law continuously tried to use coincidences regarding

467
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 3: his health problems as justification for their steadfastness, even citing

468
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 3: a low hanging fruit prophecy about the girl a church

469
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 3: shared about him surviving his heart complications to serve the

470
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 3: future ministry.

471
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 2: This is such a hard story to hear for like

472
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 2: for me to hear.

473
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,360
Speaker 3: Because they suck. These people are so deep into their

474
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 3: cult and so deeply manipulated.

475
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 2: It sucks because I know people that have gone out

476
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 2: helped plant churches in different like you know, countries, and

477
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 2: you know, prayed and like had like spiritual healing and

478
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 2: all this stuff. But just the way this church is

479
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 2: going about it, it's just it. I don't even know

480
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: what to say. It just feels very wrong.

481
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: I just want to know their ultimate goal.

482
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: Well, they said they would just want to take over

483
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,239
Speaker 3: the town, basically.

484
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 2: Take over Nigeria. Dude, they got the president and the

485
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 2: king sive of things.

486
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I just found out this morning. The

487
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 3: youngest sister is waiting for God to tell her to

488
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 3: go too. My consolation during this conversation was a promise

489
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: they will come to visit often. I doubt it because

490
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 3: they still have elder duties in the church that is

491
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: their primary to return as opposed to seeing her grandson

492
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 3: grow up. I honestly feel like you need to cut

493
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 3: contact or you know, you already have limited contact. But

494
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 3: I feel like as they go down this road, I

495
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 3: think it. I don't think this is you know, is

496
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 3: the relationship that you can keep having. Over the past

497
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 3: few days, we've done a lot of research on the

498
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 3: religious violence going on in Nigeria while watching the latest

499
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 3: sermons on Facebook. In the latest sermon, the word Nigeria

500
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: was central on the TV behind the pulpit. It was

501
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 3: rife with specifically vague inferences of personal duty to the cause,

502
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 3: de elevation of earthly family, and a strong delivery of

503
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 3: the claim of how important their church family is. We

504
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 3: found out they're not just getting land, They're getting one

505
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 3: of the biggest plots of land in the Nigerian state.

506
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 3: We also found out that King adopted the girl who

507
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 3: was forbidden by her parents to go on the trip.

508
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 3: She is in her early twenties.

509
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 2: Dude, there is some business scheme happening, and they're usually

510
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 2: the religious scary you know, church front to make it happen.

511
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 3: The interesting thing about the Muslim on Christian violence there

512
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 3: is that it is primarily perpetrated by a Muslim nomadic tribe.

513
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 3: The land the tribe would use for livestock is rapidly

514
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 3: being given away by the government, causing resentment and the

515
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 3: possible unliving of those who live on the land. This

516
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 3: raises some questions. Why would the government give the Americans

517
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 3: one of the largest plots of land in the state.

518
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 3: There are plenty of Nigerian churches there. Why aren't they

519
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 3: good enough? Greg's Church is American, but they are certainly

520
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 3: not wealthy. What do they offer the largest growing Christian

521
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,479
Speaker 3: country in the world. But there is a little bit

522
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: left to the story. Yikes.

523
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 2: So here's my thought. If these people were actually Christians,

524
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 2: there wouldn't be like things of I love God more

525
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 2: than my grandson. That wouldn't be a thing because like

526
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 2: you know, the grandson would be great. They wouldn't be

527
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 2: like this guy being like I only speak for God.

528
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 2: There wouldn't be all these like hypocritical things. But since

529
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: they're following one guy that has a plan, makes me

530
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: think that there's yeah it' it's it's like a business

531
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 2: thing happened in Nigeria. I think when you.

532
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 3: Start inventing your own aspects of Christianity and you have

533
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 3: one guy in power who's telling you everything that.

534
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 2: You need to do, Dude, you know, and like, you know,

535
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to un a lot of people. That's

536
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: not what This just feels so wrong on so many levels.

537
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: And dude, I'm gonna go in my soapbox. The biggest

538
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 2: reason Jesus came to Earth in my belief, was it

539
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 2: because you know, one of the biggest reasons was because

540
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 2: he was like all the people that had religious pride,

541
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 2: he was checking him, Like he talked to a lot

542
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 2: to the fair season was like, hey, what are you doing,

543
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: Like you're not actually loving people, going people to rules

544
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 2: and you need to love people more than saying you're

545
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 2: not worthy enough because you don't follow these rules. And

546
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: that just kind of feels like this, you know, it

547
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 2: feels like they're spreading business ventures rather than love.

548
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: Absolutely, we can't change their minds. The more we argue,

549
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 3: the more biblically at adversarial we become in their eyes

550
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 3: watching the sermons ourselves. This is one hundred percent by design.

551
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 3: My in laws have an impressive resume of medicated ailments,

552
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 3: including but not limited to, heart disease, cancer, and multiple sclerosis, which,

553
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 3: upon research, is exasperated by heat. So they're going to Nigeria.

554
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 3: They won't have access to any expensive medications without insurance

555
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 3: or quality healthcare opportunities. In general. They're leaving this problem

556
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 3: up to God. They want to leave us their house,

557
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,880
Speaker 3: which they stop taking care of years ago. The house

558
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 3: is an hour away from my great job. And there

559
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 3: is an update. Just tell them, no, what is happening.

560
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 3: I think this is the final update, folks. The youngest

561
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 3: sister confirmed God told her to go and that they

562
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 3: have been hiding their plans from us for a couple

563
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 3: of months at least. I also want to clarify that

564
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 3: my wife, our son, and I aren't the only members

565
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: of the immediate family not involved in the church. And

566
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 3: that's the end.

567
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 4: I will check for an update, yeah.

568
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 3: I mean at that point, oh pee. There Unfortunately, is

569
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 3: nothing you can do when people are so deeply entrenched

570
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 3: in this type of fanaticism.

571
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 2: M hmm. They can't see reality and it's you know,

572
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 2: this is what God told me, and that's like the

573
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 2: highest authority in their minds. Yeah, and if they actually

574
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: read their Bibles rather than listen to some dude at

575
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 2: the pool pit, they'd know what the truth is. But

576
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 2: they they let the pastor do their thinking for him

577
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: instead of them actually doing their thinking. That's what that's

578
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: what I have trouble with a lot of like Christians

579
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 2: and a lot of people that claim to be Christian.

580
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 2: It's like, what is your actual thoughts on this? Have

581
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: you actually read it?

582
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 3: Oh? A lot of times?

583
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: No, I gotta stop myself with this. We got it?

584
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,719
Speaker 2: Is this another cult story?

585
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 4: I don't think so, no update on this, this story.

586
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: It's yeah, just story seven years old.

587
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 4: It's seven years old.

588
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,680
Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious hoo, yeah, goodness, wow, wow.

589
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 3: Yeah. The biggest people never think that they will. You

590
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 3: know that they are the ones that are going to

591
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 3: be pulled into a cult yeah crow documentary and then

592
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 3: you're like, oh yeah, oh no cult.

593
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 2: This whole time, my boyfriend's mother refused to let us

594
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 2: share a room together sleep over. My twenty three female

595
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend twenty three male will be graduating college in a

596
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 2: couple of months. His mom, thirty nine female, wanted to

597
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 2: plan a graduation trip for him. By the way, this

598
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 2: comes from Throwaway forty nine twenty and if you want

599
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: to sit your own stories, go to the r slash

600
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 2: okay story dumb subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon

601
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 2: and We're here to give good advice, goofully, but we

602
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers, so let us know what

603
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 2: you know in the comments down below. Hope. He says

604
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 2: for context, my boyfriend doesn't have the best relationship with

605
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: his mom. They rarely see each other, although my boyfriend

606
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: and I live five minutes away from her. Oh man,

607
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 2: that's stuff. From everything he has told me, there was

608
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 2: a lot of bad parenting when he was a child,

609
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 2: and his whole family is low contact with her. Her

610
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: decision now to the issue. She planned a trip with

611
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 2: her boyfriend, his two kids, my boyfriend's sister, and obviously

612
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 2: my boyfriend to another country. Told my boyfriend that he

613
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: could invite me if he wanted to, but I would

614
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: have to pay for my own own expenses, which I

615
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 2: don't mind. She will be paying for my boyfriend's trip.

616
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: My boyfriend had no say and where the trip was going,

617
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,479
Speaker 2: and his mother said, we are not allowed to room together. Okay.

618
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 2: I would be rooming with his sister fourteen female and

619
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 2: her boyfriend's daughters and female, while my boyfriend will be

620
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 2: rooming with her boyfriend's son fourteen male. We're staying in

621
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: an all inclusive resort, but I feel like I'm only

622
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 2: going to be there to babysit. Hmmm.

623
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 3: At that point, the thing is like, she's paying stop

624
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: paying for you, so she doesn't really have a say

625
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: about what you do. But because she's paying for the

626
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 3: boyfriend or your boyfriend, I feel like she has some

627
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 3: say about what he does. Have say, Yeah, I would

628
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 3: you know, I think that you should just not go.

629
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, if there's even the hint of you babysitting, yeah,

630
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 2: you don't want to do that, don't go. Even my

631
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: boyfriend mentioned he was scared his mom would just force

632
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 2: him to babysit the kids. I'm also worried something might

633
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: happen to one of the kids if like they fall,

634
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: get her or wonder off, and I'd had be blamed

635
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: for it since it feels like she wants us to

636
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 2: take care of them. My boyfriend says I can pay

637
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 2: for my own room, but he doesn't think his mom

638
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: will let him room with me. I also don't want

639
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 2: to stay alone in a room in a foreign country,

640
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 2: but I know this is going to cause issues with

641
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: his mom. In the end, I told him I wouldn't

642
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: go unless we room together, but he's upset since he

643
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: wants me to go. Am I the a hole?

644
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 3: No, I don't think that's it all the a hole.

645
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 3: I think that you've said your conditions. You said I

646
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: can't go home unless we roomed together. He says, you

647
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 3: can't room together, So then as you can't go, I

648
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 3: would to go. It's as simple as that. I think

649
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 3: that's that's it. There's no issues here.

650
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: No issues done. He would you go, ha, No, no.

651
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going on my own trip.

652
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, there we go.

653
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 3: If I have had it spending money, oh yeah to

654
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 3: go on a trip, then let's go on a trip

655
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: where I don't have to babysit and I don't have rules.

656
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is no longer a trip, you know, like

657
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 4: I want to enjoy my trip.

658
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: Done here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

659
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

660
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 2: Come inyone, why don't you and your boyfriend just pay

661
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 2: for your own room?

662
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 3: Hope?

663
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 2: He says, right, this is the exact point I brought

664
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 2: up from what he's told me. She set on a

665
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: solid no even if him and I split the cost

666
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: for the room.

667
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 3: Because then she wouldn't pay for the you know resort. Wait,

668
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 3: is what she's paying for.

669
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: She's paying for the resort, the trips.

670
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm assuming that. I'm assuming that she's paying for

671
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 3: extra stuff. But if she's just paying for the room

672
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 3: and the.

673
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 2: Resort, yeah, then I think that's what it is.

674
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 3: Then. Yeah, she's just saying you can't comedy.

675
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 2: Two. I also don't want to stay alone in a

676
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 2: room in a foreign country unless you're in a really

677
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: violent or increasingly backwards and massage in this country like

678
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: the USA, normally that wouldn't be a problem. However, I

679
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 2: wouldn't go at all with a family like that. Hope.

680
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 2: He says, you're probably right about that. I've never been

681
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 2: to this country, and she won't tell us the name

682
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 2: of the resort, so I have no idea where we

683
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 2: would be staying. I'm assuming it's nice, but I'd rather

684
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: be pleasantly surprised than assuming. They've also mentioned that they

685
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: don't want to stay in the resort the whole time. Okay,

686
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 2: uh no, The comment says, not the a hole. Don't go,

687
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: very simple, don't go, don't negotiate. It will only turn

688
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 2: into more issues with his mom, and then you will

689
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 2: be the bad guy soon. Your boyfriend doesn't seem strong

690
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 2: enough to stand up to her, so it's very likely

691
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: you will be blamed. No need to object yourself to this.

692
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 2: Save your money from another vacation. Really, don't start arguing.

693
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 2: Simply don't go and rethink the wisdom of involvement with

694
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 2: a man who apparently can't separate from his mom even

695
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 2: though he doesn't like her. He says, yeah, this is

696
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: what I've been thinking about all day, but he doesn't

697
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 2: see it like that in his head. He has no

698
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: say since she's paying for him, and we got an

699
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: update two days later.

700
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I just think it's easier if you

701
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: don't go. Oh yeah, she does have a say because

702
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 3: she is paying for him. It doesn't quite you know,

703
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 3: it doesn't quite make sense because you could You've already

704
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 3: talked about Oh well then why don't you know you

705
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 3: just pay or I just pay for your this room

706
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 3: and then we share it.

707
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, I know for a fact that ope goes.

708
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 2: Mom's gonna find something wrong.

709
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, you're voting your laundry like that. Yeah, you're

710
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 3: just gonna get criticized. You gotta be a babysitter.

711
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: If they won't let you in the same room, you're

712
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 2: gonna wear a bathing suit. Yeah, I got a problem

713
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 2: with it.

714
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 3: Don't make sense.

715
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: Wait update two days later, do you have it? Do

716
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 2: you think she goes?

717
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 3: I hope not for your own sake.

718
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: This is the first update I've ever done, so I'm

719
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: hoping I'm doing this right. First of all, thank you

720
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: all for the advice. The day I posted this, I

721
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: had a conversation with my boyfriend that snowballed into the

722
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 2: worst fight we've ever had. I did also, I didn't

723
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 2: like the part where he was like, you need to

724
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: come with me.

725
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, where she was like, hey, like it's either we

726
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 3: stay in a room together and I'm not gonna go.

727
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: And he's like, no, you have to come, just baby, Yeah,

728
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 3: you probably will have to babysit the kids.

729
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 2: It's fine, just don't. You're my happiness and you can't

730
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: you without me. He accused me of trying to convince

731
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: him not to go on the trip, which isn't something

732
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 2: I had ever brought up. Even said he wants to

733
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 2: go since it's a free trip to a country never

734
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 2: been to. He did end up telling me that his

735
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: mom said no to us rooming together for the following reasons.

736
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 2: One we aren't married either, are her and her boyfriend interesting? Two?

737
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 2: We're too young? Three because I said.

738
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 3: So, See, that's that's a explanation you can't use after

739
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 3: like twelve.

740
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like once you're a full fledged adult,

741
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 4: like eighteen.

742
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 3: Once, he certainly can't use it.

743
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: Then.

744
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I said so, is like, come.

745
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 3: On, so infantilizing.

746
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 2: I'm not freaking for you.

747
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 3: I'm not freaking.

748
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 4: Three us respond with, oh, why don't you want to go?

749
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 4: Because I said so?

750
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 3: Because yeah, why do you need to go because I

751
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 3: don't want to?

752
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: It's so good using parents' logic back on him.

753
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, just giving him right back their own medicine.

754
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 2: I spoke to my boyfriend last night. Turns out some

755
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 2: of you that suggested she might be helping him with

756
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,959
Speaker 2: money or correct. She took out loans to help pay

757
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: for his schooling. They're all under her name, but if

758
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: she stops paying, he feels responsible for them. I also

759
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: think she was helping him out with grocery money since

760
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: he's part time, so she's pretty much holding all of

761
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 2: this over his head.

762
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 3: Of course she is.

763
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 4: That's over she wants.

764
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 3: I mean, like it seems like he does have a

765
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: good relationship with her, probably because she's incredibly controlling and

766
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 3: she wants to keep him around for as long as

767
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 3: she can, and this is the way to do it.

768
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 2: As the boyfriend. Just go on the trip and babysit,

769
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 2: your pay your dues. Man, I wouldn't do it, Yeah,

770
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 2: I say.

771
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 4: I was gonna say. It's over his head, not over

772
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 4: my head.

773
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 2: Even as the boyfriend. You want to go?

774
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 3: Oh is the boyfriend? Okay, okay, I think the boyfriend

775
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 3: should still go.

776
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

777
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:39,720
Speaker 2: I agree.

778
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 3: It's gonna be spending time with his family.

779
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

780
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 3: Those are his siblings. He's you know, babysitting.

781
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: He did end up asking her if he was going

782
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 2: to babysit, and she answered the next day at eight am.

783
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 2: Stop being so negative. Good night. He told me how

784
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 2: childish and immature she is. But the truth is, I

785
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 2: don't want to spend my life battling his mom. He

786
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,959
Speaker 2: promised me that I wouldn't and that things would change

787
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 2: when he graduates. But I'll believe it when I see it.

788
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 2: Part of the reason I'm even contemplating going is because

789
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: I want to see what I'm signing up for and

790
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 2: if he's willing to stick up for me, if he isn't,

791
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: then we're done. I won't waste years of my life

792
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 2: on someone that can't defend me. Girl.

793
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe we're making a little bit of

794
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 3: a rash decision for beer really break up. I don't know,

795
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 3: Like breaking up is a pretty big, pretty big thing.

796
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,439
Speaker 2: Yes, in this scenario, I think it could be could

797
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 2: be super reasonable, But I would want to give you know,

798
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 2: I would want to see if we could work through

799
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 2: this one is still give it a chance? Would you

800
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 2: give it a chance?

801
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 4: To Kian, I'm on thin ice?

802
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I think thin ice is fair.

803
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 2: Would you go on the trip to see if you

804
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 2: could have no heck, because he's going to be under

805
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 2: her thumb the whole time.

806
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no trip, especially if this is the dynamic

807
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 4: that we're starting going into the trip. Yeah, I know

808
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 4: how you go into a trip is like.

809
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 3: You know, he's not going to be on your side.

810
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

811
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think the boyfriend will ever send up

812
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: to his mom because it's hard to turn it down.

813
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 3: That's true. I mean he's only twenty three, so it's

814
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 3: not like but still, yeah, I think I think it

815
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 3: totally could be the other way of him always taking

816
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 3: his mom's side over you.

817
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, well it's the Cay cowboy up. If you're gonna

818
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 4: be living under your mom's I guess tyranny where she's

819
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 4: having money over your head, maybe stop having that, you know, yeah,

820
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 4: giving her that power.

821
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, he did tell her that if I were to go,

822
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: then I would book my own room reservation, my idea

823
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 2: since I don't want any surprises. She's now telling him

824
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 2: he's blowing things out of proportion. They're supposed to talk tonight,

825
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 2: and he's pretty angry about the whole situation, so I'll

826
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 2: let you know how it goes. Comedy one says he

827
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 2: did tell her that if I were to go, and

828
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 2: I would book my own room reservation. If you go

829
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 2: and have to pay for your own trip, you were

830
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 2: allowed to do whatever the f you want. The fact

831
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 2: is she's mad at both of you because you want

832
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: your own room. Kind of proves that you were right

833
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: thinking you were invited to babysit. Only I woult to go,

834
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 2: not even to see what's what. You will only be

835
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 2: miserable and now associate that country with that experience.

836
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't ruin the entire country. It's terrible. You'll never

837
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 3: be able to go back to that country.

838
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 2: Oh I hate Switzerland forever. Ah.

839
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: Like someone's like, hey, you want to go, Like I'm

840
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 3: thinking about a Switzerland trip, and you're like, no, God, no,

841
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 3: I can ever go back to Switzerland. And they were

842
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 3: like what I had to babysit?

843
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 2: Hey, they got it.

844
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 4: I didn't get to see the country.

845
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 2: They got a new Swiss restaurant. You wanna go check

846
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: it out?

847
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,760
Speaker 3: No, don't make me look after your kids. Oh sorry,

848
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 3: what do you say?

849
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 2: Oh ope, he says, I agree. I think she confirmed

850
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 2: that I was only going to take care of the kids.

851
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 2: She just gave my boyfriend the name of the resort.

852
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,280
Speaker 2: I looked at it. It turns out that a child

853
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 2: and a teen stay for free, but an adult has

854
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: to be accompanying them in the room to package. But

855
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 2: I'm thinking that's what she wanted to do.

856
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 3: Absolutely what she wanted to do, trying to get that free.

857
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 2: Room, leave me with the kids that they aren't.

858
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 3: And also crazy thing she won't even pay for op

859
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 3: She was gonna make Opee pay for her kids.

860
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 2: Leave me with the kids that aren't paying to be there,

861
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 2: and her and her boyfriend can have their own space.

862
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at the prices or compared it to

863
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 2: how much she originally wanted me to give her. But

864
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 2: I think you're right about not going. Yes, part of

865
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 2: the reason I'm com twenty about going and seeing what

866
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 2: I'm signing up for. You don't need to go to

867
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: see that. You already know he won't set up for you.

868
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 2: That's what the point I always kind of make.

869
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's not gonna say. I mean, like, if

870
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 3: you go, you have to babysit and your boyfriend takes

871
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 3: his mom's side.

872
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 2: This is where OPI back pedals a little bit. I

873
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,720
Speaker 2: don't think I spoke much about my boyfriend's character truly

874
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 2: the best person I've ever been with. When people say.

875
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 3: That until they have someone that, yeah you're only twenty three, Yeah,

876
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 3: have you actually been with you.

877
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 4: Know you said they only say that until they find

878
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:55,720
Speaker 4: someone better?

879
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: Best person so far?

880
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, are they like, oh, he's the best,

881
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 4: and they're like how many? Well have you dated? Just him?

882
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 3: Just him?

883
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 2: We need to have a better metric for.

884
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 3: That, Yeah, like, how does he compare to your friends friends?

885
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 2: I was thinking, like Disney Princess Princess, how does.

886
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 3: He compare to Prince Navine post post character development?

887
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: Who's Chris and Christoff? Yes? How does he compare to Christoph?

888
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:22,240
Speaker 3: That's pretty great? Yeah?

889
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: What about Princess and the Frog? See we're already going to.

890
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 3: We're already there. How does he compare?

891
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: He's truly the best person I've ever been with. He's

892
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 2: everything I want a partner.

893
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 3: Mmmm, not everything, clearly, because you want him to stand

894
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 3: up to his mom.

895
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: You're missing a few things here, But I know you

896
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: could be right about this. I want to believe that

897
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 2: he would stand up for me if it came down

898
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: to it, but I also need to be realistic and

899
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 2: consider how the situation has been handled so far. Another

900
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 2: comment says, you were really going to waste the money

901
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: to go and have your own room and still be

902
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 2: pushed into babies. You know your boyfriend isn't allowed to

903
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,399
Speaker 2: be in your room even if you pay for it,

904
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 2: So why are you wasting the money to go? Be

905
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 2: put in the exact positions neither of you want to

906
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 2: be in. You are going to get to have any

907
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 2: alone time on this vacation. You aren't going to get

908
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: long walks on the beach or snugly time in front

909
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,439
Speaker 2: of the fire. You aren't going to get any sort

910
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 2: of romantical time with your boyfriend. You both will get

911
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 2: to be the babysitters. And why would you go to

912
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 2: dinner alone. This is a family trip. We eat together.

913
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 4: M Yes, it's not.

914
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 3: You're just not gonna have time to be As that

915
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,399
Speaker 3: common said, this is not a romantic trip. Now, this

916
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 3: is a family trip, and you've been hired as a babysitter,

917
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 3: except you don't get paid.

918
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 2: You have to pay for it.

919
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 3: You have to pay to be their babysitter.

920
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 2: Says Yes, I would much rather spend the money on

921
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: a vacation for the two of us to enjoy. He

922
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 2: did offer to pay for half of it yesterday. I

923
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: forgot to mention this in the post. But either way,

924
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 2: we're both students, plus the money I would lose from

925
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 2: not being at work. I know we really wants me

926
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 2: to be there, and I want.

927
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: Dot dot dot. We'll never know what does Opie want?

928
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 3: What does Opie want?

929
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 2: Okay, next day theories.

930
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 3: I don't know a lot of people in the chat

931
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 3: saying this relationship is probably not gonna last. Yeah, I'm

932
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 3: hopeful that maybe the boyfriend will realize, but I hope

933
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 3: Opie does not go on this trip and then she

934
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,320
Speaker 3: just you know, does something for herself.

935
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 2: Kilan.

936
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 4: I want to be hopeful, but I think somehow, some

937
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 4: way Opie gets roped into going to the trip, like

938
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 4: she's like okay, yeah.

939
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Probably I'm just not seeing a lot

940
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 2: of hope from the boyfriend here.

941
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, hope or help hope, Like.

942
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 2: The boyfriend's character does not stand up, like it's not

943
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's not really anything i'd be waiting

944
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 2: around for.

945
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, but op he's in that lake. I'm twenty three,

946
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 3: I'm in love with this boy the you know, one

947
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 3: of the first real relationships.

948
00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 2: Couldn't relate hmmm. But anyway, anyways, unfortunately this isn't a

949
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:01,320
Speaker 2: good update.

950
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 3: Oh man, I think they broke up.

951
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 2: I'm now essentially unwelcome on the trip.

952
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, she didn't want to go. So yeah,

953
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 3: they're like, I hope He's like, I'm not coming. They're like, well,

954
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 3: you're not even invited anymore. I quit. You can't quit.

955
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 3: I fired you.

956
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 2: I wasn't outright uninvited, but that's how I interpreted it.

957
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: My boyfriend talked to his mom yesterday as planned from

958
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,760
Speaker 2: what he told me. She called me ungrateful and a brat,

959
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 2: and I am trying to make everything about myself, said

960
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,280
Speaker 2: some other things I don't want to think about right now.

961
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 3: Why did he tell you all of that?

962
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 2: And why did he not say shut up? Mom?

963
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? I just don't understand why he came to you

964
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 3: and was like, yes, so my mom called you ungrateful

965
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 3: and a brat and a bunch of other nasty stuff.

966
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 3: And instead of just saying my mom was not receptive

967
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 3: to our plan or our talk, he had to tell

968
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:55,240
Speaker 3: you all this stuff in detail.

969
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: Ah.

970
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 2: She claimed I was making up excuses to get a

971
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 2: room alone with my boyfriend, which I was not. I

972
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 2: have no reason to lie. I asked my boyfriend about

973
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: getting a separate reservation for my room, like we had

974
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 2: talked about. That's when he broke the news that she

975
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: had already booked the rooms for four adults and three

976
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: kids and it's not refundable.

977
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 3: Sucks to suck. Did you communicate that with Ope.

978
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she did this on purpose to try

979
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 2: and get me to accept her terms. It might be

980
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: important to mention that my boyfriend had invited me on

981
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 2: the trip last week and I told him I wasn't sure.

982
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 2: I asked for a couple of days to figure out

983
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 2: since my family member was in the hospital and we

984
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 2: weren't sure if they were going to make it, so

985
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 2: my priorities were elsewhere. Oh my god.

986
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then you text back your boyfriend and you say, hey,

987
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: I have to be here for my family member. I'm

988
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 3: sorry I can't go. And then if he says, well,

989
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 3: mom says you have to pay, you say, I actually

990
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 3: never agreed to this, so I'm sorry I can't do that.

991
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 2: Too bad to his hand, Yeah, she knew this and

992
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: booked the reservation regardless. He started telling me how much

993
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 2: he loved me. I'm like, is he love bombing?

994
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 3: Now feels like he's like, we no, I know that

995
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 3: all sounded really bad. My mom as you, but I

996
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 3: love you.

997
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 4: Yeah. He's doing the last line of defense, like, don't worry,

998
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 4: don't worry. I love you so much.

999
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 3: I think you're great. I don't think you're spoiled at all.

1000
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 3: He's like, what, I think you're actually really pretty, no

1001
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: matter what anyone says, I don't.

1002
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 2: Think you're a witch at all. She didn't call me

1003
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 2: a witch. He told me he was done with his

1004
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 2: mom and wants to go no contact when we move,

1005
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 2: and that after he graduates things will change. So he

1006
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 2: said this trip is a couple of months after he graduates.

1007
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 2: So I asked him what he was going to do.

1008
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,399
Speaker 2: He said he was still going to go since it's

1009
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 2: a free trip to the country he's never been to before.

1010
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 2: I then asked him what's going to change, and he

1011
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 2: said that he had to go along with what she

1012
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,280
Speaker 2: says because she's helping him.

1013
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 4: Helping him how get the money?

1014
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 3: Oh right, like in school.

1015
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 2: Until he gets his own job.

1016
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's not going to go against his I think

1017
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 3: at this now, it's like we got to end the relationship.

1018
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, we already know her answer.

1019
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1020
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 1: But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors

1021
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: that keep the show alive.

1022
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 2: I was trying my best to understand the situation because

1023
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 2: although it might seem easy for me, I know there's

1024
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 2: a lot more at play. I asked him if I

1025
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 2: was undivided, and he said no. His mom said I

1026
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,879
Speaker 2: could go on the trip as long as I went

1027
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 2: along with what she wanted. I asked again, if I

1028
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 2: could get my own room, and he said no because

1029
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 2: he doesn't want me to spend that kind of money.

1030
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 2: It's not worth it, and said that it would cause

1031
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 2: tension since his mom had already booked a reservation, she

1032
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: would lose money, so it's her way or the highway.

1033
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: He knew that I wouldn't go along with this, so

1034
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 2: pretty much I can't go. He might invite a friend instead,

1035
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 2: but I don't know. Last night he said that he

1036
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 2: felt like there was no winning with me unless he

1037
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 2: doesn't go on the trip. If I'm being honest, I

1038
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: do feel betrayed by him still wanting to go after

1039
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 2: she disrespected me. But I'm also so tired and emotionally drained.

1040
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I'm for feeling like this.

1041
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:06,479
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely, There's been so much wishy washy behavior from

1042
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 3: these people, and you just keep getting pulled into it.

1043
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,720
Speaker 3: You made a very clear statement, you said, I can,

1044
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 3: you know, either not go on this trip or we

1045
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 3: stay in the room together if I if you want

1046
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 3: me to come.

1047
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, get my own those are only two things. Yeah,

1048
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 2: And I don't would.

1049
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 3: Have said, hey, Mom's not okay with them. She's paying

1050
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 3: for everything. So it looks like it's not working. Easy

1051
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 3: love to take a trip with you another time.

1052
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 2: And whenever, instead of saying that she's like spoiled all

1053
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 2: about her. Oh as of this morning, she has officially

1054
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 2: threatened to cut all financial support. He says he's at

1055
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 2: a point where he would rather not have her support

1056
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: and I have to deal with this. I know the

1057
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 2: reason she's doing this is because she's mad at me,

1058
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 2: and this is her way of punishing me. I'm sorry

1059
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,479
Speaker 2: for the long and not so positive update. I tried

1060
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 2: to include all the details that I could, but I

1061
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: might have forgotten some. I haven't slept and over twenty

1062
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 2: four hours, so please bear with me.

1063
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 3: Go to sleep, all right? Then I slightly rescind. I

1064
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 3: think that if he follows through with this and goes

1065
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 3: no contact and is like, you know what, I can't

1066
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 3: take it anymore. There's too many rules. She's just a

1067
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 3: nightmare to deal with. I'm done, dude, Then your relationship

1068
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 3: can continue.

1069
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 2: I have been a part of a relationship where the

1070
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 2: family did not like me. It literally is not worth

1071
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 2: it because it trickles down to you. If you're not

1072
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 2: in a position where you can literally go no contact

1073
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 2: and have no financial support or like emotionally.

1074
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 3: They're always going to be involved.

1075
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're gonna be there. They're gonna be there at

1076
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: every holiday until you're like, actually, except I'm I'm like,

1077
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 2: as of two years ago, I've been you know, separated

1078
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 2: from my parents financially and you know, physically because I

1079
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 2: have my own place, and maybe maybe four years so's

1080
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 2: i've been twenty up. Yeah, but it takes.

1081
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 3: Time, absolutely, and everyone has their own like timeline. But

1082
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 3: it seems as though this one is uh going a lot.

1083
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 3: It's been pushed along a little bit quicker than others. Yeah. Uh,

1084
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 3: and it seems like he hopefully is becoming independent. But

1085
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 3: that's the end of that story, folks.

1086
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 4: Is there no update?

1087
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:14,280
Speaker 3: No update.

1088
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 4: The only thing that I saw and I'm reading about

1089
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 4: right now is a one comment from op This was

1090
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 4: about a month ago as well, and how everyone's like,

1091
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 4: why are you doing this? You can just spend your

1092
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 4: money somewhere else, and OPI replies, yes, I would much

1093
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 4: rather spend the money on a vacation for the two

1094
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 4: of us to enjoy. He did offer to pay for

1095
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 4: half of it yesterday. I forgot to mention this in

1096
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 4: the post. Huh oh yeah, yeah, oh, then that's pretty

1097
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 4: much all it is. Okay, Yeah, that's again. People are

1098
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 4: just like, what are you doing?

1099
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody likes a debbie down.

1100
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1101
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 4: Everyone just like, save your money and put it towards

1102
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 4: a trip that you want to do.

1103
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 3: Yes, go to Japan. Op.

1104
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 4: Also, why don't you just do a trip for yourself, Go.

1105
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 3: Find go find a well. I think OPS seemingly scared

1106
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 3: about solo traveling, but there's tons of places that are

1107
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 3: perfectly saved for solo travelers. Most places in Europe. I

1108
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 3: felt incredibly safe even when I mean I was with

1109
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 3: two people, but there were a couple times where I

1110
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 3: was doing like solo things. But we've got another story.

1111
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 3: I think my future mother in law is gonna be

1112
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: an issue.

1113
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 2: You can still clock out of the relationship, you know.

1114
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 3: And this one comes directly from the r slash Okay

1115
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 3: storytime Subparate It. My early twenties have been engaged to

1116
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 3: my fiance early twenties for three months. I have been

1117
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: very happy and I love this person dearly, evidently, hence

1118
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 3: accepting the proposal. My mother in law to be is

1119
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 3: a difficult woman. I suspect she has a mood disorder

1120
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 3: and she is currently on antidepressants, but I do not

1121
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: consider her to willfully or knowingly be a bad person.

1122
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Ambitious Expert eight to one.

1123
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own story, is

1124
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 3: good to the r slash Okay storytime separate it.

1125
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

1126
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 3: Give good advice. Goofley, but we don't have all the answers.

1127
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 3: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

1128
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments, and Op says,

1129
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 3: my fiance is currently going through a difficult time in

1130
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 3: his life and it is a very gray area whether

1131
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 3: it is his own fault what uh huh. I believe

1132
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 3: it is unfortunate, but he did not do anything reckless

1133
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 3: or stupid. He may just be struggling with his mental

1134
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 3: health and it got out of hand. He called to

1135
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 3: tell his mom, and her first reaction was explosive and concerning.

1136
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 3: She showed no real desire to understand or help him,

1137
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 3: and immediately started screaming on the phone, blaming the engagement

1138
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 3: for ruining his life and saying it was my fault.

1139
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 3: For clarification, we already lived together before he proposed so

1140
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 3: no huge changes had occurred besides my title as his

1141
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 3: future spouse and a gorgeous ring on my finger. He

1142
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 3: insisted she was wrong, but to no avail. After about

1143
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,359
Speaker 3: five days of constant back and forth between all of us,

1144
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 3: fiance and his mother, his mother and me, even his

1145
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 3: grandmother and me, I'm tired. I feel is unfair to

1146
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 3: be blamed for something I had no pardon when I

1147
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 3: have been nothing but helpful to him. He works while

1148
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 3: I am currently unable to because of my chronic condition

1149
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 3: and mental health struggles, so I do everything around the

1150
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,400
Speaker 3: house and support him. No one makes me do this.

1151
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 3: I purely consider it fair, since he provides things like

1152
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 3: gas and other expenses when I am unable to, and

1153
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 3: he takes care of me when I am too sick

1154
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 3: to care for myself. Our dynamic has always been one

1155
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 3: of unconditional mutual support and relentless attempts to understand and

1156
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 3: help each other. While I believe I have influenced his

1157
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 3: life for the better, I also admit he has helped

1158
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 3: me more than anyone ever has, excluding my mother. This

1159
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: has worked very well for us. I always felt my

1160
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 3: future mother in law didn't particularly like me, but I

1161
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 3: put it aside because he was always standing by me.

1162
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 2: Okay, if like a mother and a parent in law

1163
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: doesn't like you, but the partner strong, then we're okay.

1164
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 2: But if the partner's not, then we're not okay.

1165
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 3: I assume she had issues with how young we are,

1166
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 3: even though the wedding is postponed indefinitely due to financial

1167
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 3: reasons and potential loss of health insurance benefits if we

1168
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,760
Speaker 3: were legally married. However, after her outburn over the phone

1169
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 3: and accusations that are sweet chioh, this has changed and unrecognizable.

1170
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 3: I am seriously concerned.

1171
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 2: I don't understand fun fact tomorrow or people watching on YouTube,

1172
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 2: we have an episode with a mother in law expert.

1173
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 3: Ooh wow, should I add this one? She could have

1174
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 3: told us all about your mother in law.

1175
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I just don't understand why mother in laws

1176
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 2: like kind of want to marry their own kids.

1177
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 3: It's weird. So yeah, ENMESHMENTT my.

1178
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 2: Baby boy's gone forever.

1179
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you lose this control, and sometimes it's the control.

1180
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 2: It's a control thing.

1181
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. All along she had the you know, she was

1182
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 3: shaping her son's path and then you know, his early twenties,

1183
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 3: he decides to make this really big decision to get married,

1184
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 3: and she loses control. She's no longer his main family,

1185
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 3: his girlfriend is, or his fiance now okay, okay, she

1186
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 3: is out of touch with reality when angry, accusing me

1187
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 3: of brainwatching him and teaching him to say horrible things.

1188
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah.

1189
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 3: She even accused both of us of being on hard substances,

1190
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 3: though neither of us take any. I cannot drink because

1191
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 3: of my medication and he hasn't either for the last

1192
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 3: six to seven months. Where is that adding up? I

1193
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 3: eventually had a mental breakdown and called her to tell

1194
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 3: her that my fiance's grandma so her mom had told

1195
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 3: me she ruined her life, and I'm tired she has

1196
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 3: managed to tear us aparts.

1197
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 2: What does she have anything to do with your relationship?

1198
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 3: What it seems like? Oh, Pee told the mother in

1199
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 3: law mom. No, no, no, no, oh, he told mother in

1200
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 3: law that grandma in law thought, uh that mother in

1201
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:43,399
Speaker 3: law ruined Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, yeah, that's I think.

1202
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 2: So that was that was a very wild Yeah.

1203
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,439
Speaker 3: She proceeded to call me nine times, but I did

1204
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 3: not answer. After a few hours, I texted her I'm sorry,

1205
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,280
Speaker 3: as I felt I could have expressed my feelings better.

1206
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 3: She replied about what lying. I called to clarify what

1207
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 3: she thought I lied, as her mother had allegedly said

1208
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: things she now denied saying, despite repeating them multiple times

1209
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 3: to both me and my fiance. We ended up talking

1210
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 3: for two hours, during which she clarified that she does

1211
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 3: not blame me for anything. Well that's new. She blames

1212
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,919
Speaker 3: her son, either for being on substances or for being

1213
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 3: so in lave caan't think straight, and that he just

1214
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 3: wasn't strong enough to handle the engagement. I am now

1215
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 3: in a sort of decisional limbo. I have a very

1216
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 3: difficult and traumatizing life so far, and I only wish

1217
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 3: to live in peace. He is my greatest comfort and support,

1218
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 3: but she is eating away at my mental health. He

1219
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 3: insists he will always protect me and stand by me

1220
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 3: should a definitive choice ever need to be made. He

1221
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 3: did tell her off for what she said, but she

1222
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 3: accused me again of teaching him what to say. But

1223
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 3: there is a little bit left to this story.

1224
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts go, no contact as soon as humanly possible.

1225
00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, he needs to really cut contact if she use

1226
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 3: acting like this, because this is too much.

1227
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, and if he's a good partner, he would understand

1228
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:05,480
Speaker 4: your boundaries.

1229
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 3: Especially if he's about to marry you.

1230
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're if she's still in the picture, your

1231
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,720
Speaker 4: mental health is at this much of a turning point

1232
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 4: with her. Yeah, I you know, it should be clear

1233
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 4: as day for him to be like, all right, I'm

1234
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 4: going to protect you. I want to be there for you.

1235
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,399
Speaker 4: I understand as long as like it's no contact with her,

1236
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 4: between you and her, I think that's fine.

1237
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 3: Yeah. I do not wish for him to cut her off.

1238
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:28,919
Speaker 3: I have lost a parent to no contact. What mine

1239
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 3: did was much worse, and I know how hard it is.

1240
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 3: I refuse to be the reason he struggles. I am

1241
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 3: worried she may be a big threat to our happiness

1242
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 3: in the future.

1243
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:38,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1244
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 3: If he has never let me down in this way before,

1245
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 3: can I believe him when he says he will choose

1246
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,440
Speaker 3: and protect me. I do not want to risk losing

1247
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 3: everything we have built just because of fear. But I

1248
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 3: am terrified of living a life with a family, particularly

1249
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 3: a mother in law who has so many issues. After

1250
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 3: barely making it alive and sane for my own past.

1251
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 3: Advice is welcome. Oh man, The.

1252
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 2: Only way she cannot affect your life is she's not

1253
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 2: a part of it.

1254
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 3: She's not in it.

1255
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, so do with that as you will.

1256
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,360
Speaker 4: I feel like you're not forcing him to go no

1257
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:12,240
Speaker 4: contact with her, but that has nothing to do with you.

1258
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 4: You can go no contact with her. I feel like

1259
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 4: that's fine. If that's really going to be an issue,

1260
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 4: I think you have to have a conversation with him.

1261
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1262
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk to her. I don't want

1263
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 3: her talking to me. And you have to figure out

1264
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 3: what you're going to do with your mother in law.

1265
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 3: But she's not going to be part of my life.

1266
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, like you can't, like, you can't force Again,

1267
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 4: good on you for not forcing him to be Yeah.

1268
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 4: I don't want to cut him off from her, but

1269
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 4: you can cut yourself off from her.

1270
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 3: But that is the end of this episode. So if

1271
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 3: you love us, make sure to subscribe We Love You

1272
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 3: and see it tomorrow.