WEBVTT - Ep. 183 — Tips to Talk Your Way Into a Pay Increase 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:20.720 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.680 We're back. We're Brown Ambition. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:28.800 Well, shimmy now, you know, I feel like I want 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:30.639 to do a little that's a little show tunes. You know. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.760 We used to think about we used to think about 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.880 getting someone to sing our jingle, but like, why hire 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:38.400 some professional. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.400 When you can have me? Okay, get into it. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:48.040 Hey guys, it's Mandy. Welcome to another week of Brown 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.120 Ambition where we talk over each other in the intro 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:56.360 nailing it? Nailing it? So you survived the heat wave? 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.680 Yes, and I had. I went to Dorty Park yesterday. 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:01.360 I had a good time though park. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:02.800 Mm hmm, what's that? 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:04.200 Oh you never heard? 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.200 Dorney Park is like it's like, I guess, like a 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.680 Great Adventure ish kind of place they have, well except 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.200 for this one. I don't know if Great Adventure has 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.520 a water park, but Dorney Park has a water park 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:17.560 and then like a regular amusement park park. But it's 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.959 in Pennsylvania right where Pennsylvania kind of like Meet to Jersey. 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:22.640 I guess. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:24.360 It was about like an hour and a half ride 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:28.399 from Newark and we had a good time. Took Superman, Supergirl, 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:31.920 a friend of mine, Rihanna. It was her husband's fortieth birthday. 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:33.800 So all weekend they did like fun things like the 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.360 beach on Saturday, which I was like, absolutely not not 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:36.959 in that heat. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:39.000 Then they had like. 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:40.840 They even went to like a theme park in that heat. 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:44.200 I know, I was gonna stay home, but I am 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.000 the queen of not going anywhere and then complaining about 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:48.040 how boring my life is. 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:49.840 And so I woke up on Sunday because I already 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:50.640 told her I wasn't going. 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.760 I woke up on Sunday and I was like, Tiffany, 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:55.840 this is these you pray for things like this, like hey, 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:58.520 to be invited to go places, to have something to do, 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:00.400 get out, And so. 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:02.400 I got up. 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:04.480 Superman looked at me like half fun. I was like, 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:08.760 oh no, sir, you two are going. But we honestly 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:09.840 had such a good. 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.680 Time, Like even though it was really hot, we had 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:13.079 a good time. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:14.760 But I will say this, so if you're not familiar, 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.040 are you familiar with the fast past? 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:17.959 Manny, Yeah, yeah, I used to go to six Flags 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:19.440 in my day m hm. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.680 And so the fast pass is just like basically they 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:24.840 sell a limited amount and it just means like that 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.600 line is like it could be anywhere from a little 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:30.000 bit faster or literally like maybe next to no one 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:30.560 in that line. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:32.120 And when I tell you. 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:35.640 There were rides that we rode on five times before 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:37.720 I saw people in line were still waiting. 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:40.840 I'm so mad and staring at you guys like that. 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:44.320 As we ran up and down, up and down, and 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:45.560 I felt so bad. 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.639 But I thought to myself, like, honestly, because I never 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:50.320 was really wanted to get a fast past before, I'm like, 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:50.960 I'll just wait. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:53.840 But it really like we. 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:56.520 Must have gone on like twenty rides versus maybe the 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:58.679 five we would have gotten to in that period of time, 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:01.520 so it's just worth it. It was an extra I think 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:02.880 I found a group pound or something like that. It 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.000 was like an extra fifty bucks, but it was so 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.680 per person, but it was so so, so so worth it. 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:10.600 No, I'm all for that. I remember I took Husban 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:12.080 for the very you know, he's one of those New 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:14.200 Yorkers who never went to the Empire State Building or 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.519 done any of the you know, New York stuff. So 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.679 one night or one day after work, I surprised him 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.360 going to the to the Empire State Building and I 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:24.560 sprung for the express pass, which seemed in my mind, 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:27.280 Like it's like it was like one hundred dollars and 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:28.400 I've been up there before. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:28.680 I know. 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.800 You just it's so crowded that you don't even want 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.639 to spend more than like twenty minutes up there. And 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:33.920 I was like, am I really going to spend one 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:37.280 hundred dollars like all this express pass for both of us? 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:40.560 And I did it, and it was so satisfying to 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:43.440 like see the throngs of people on a Friday night 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:45.800 waiting and waiting and just get to like breeze on by. 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.120 Yeah, how does that work with you know, because I've 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:50.120 been to the Empire State, Like is there like a 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:51.720 different different there's. 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.520 A different line, there's a different elevator, and it's you 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:56.760 just like the people we had to. I felt the 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:00.000 heat coming at me from the people and the crowd, 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.680 like what are they doing? They're not following the protocol 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:07.880 and like express pass. But it's so worth it because 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.920 like you're the time, It's about your time. How valuable 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.320 is your time? Okay? And I one hundred percent agree, 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.520 especially in like that heat at a theme park, which 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.200 can be a really miserable experience. 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.560 Yes, And it really was to be able to jump 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:21.360 in the water right away. 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.960 And it's so funny because Superman is still not used 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:26.640 to like doing like stuff like that. So the first 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.240 time we got like express pass at Universal Studios, he 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:31.719 was like facetiming his boys to like brag like you'll 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:32.159 see me. 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.720 I was like, I need. It was fun because you 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:37.279 could tell. 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.719 He's like I never could afford to go to confusing 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.440 parts as a kid, and like you know, he was 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:44.520 just like this is like my shallhad all over. But 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:46.200 when I tell you he was excited, I'm like, if 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:48.440 you call one more person to show them that you're 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:48.880 at the friend of. 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:53.839 The line, get into it, my dude. I'm like, I 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:54.800 think your friend is fine. 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.160 Haven't yelled been to Harry Potter World. I haven't even 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.599 been there yet. I don't know how this is. 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:04.440 One in California and in Florida. Honestly, both are tremendously amazing. 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:08.360 I don't understand how that is not my life. I 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:09.919 think because I've been waiting on my sister and my 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:11.760 brother to get there act together. But now it's like 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.000 there's always something. Now there's a baby, it's just like 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:22.360 ruining everything. I guess I'll go in twenty twenty one. Anyway, Yeah, 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:25.000 that's definitely worth the money. So fun. I did the 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:28.680 exact opposite. We I was grateful to live in the 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.920 suburbs for once because it meant to have a car, 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:34.359 which meant I didn't I could go places because we 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:36.520 have air conditioning to get there, versus like living in 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:40.719 Manhattan when like the city would just cement, just exude 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.480 so much heat and it's just like you want to 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:44.839 die walking out there. So we went to the mall. 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.960 We went and saw the Lion King. It was pretty 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.120 It was pretty good. You know, I don't want to 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.119 ruin it for anybody, you know, I it was good. 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.159 It was good. I mean, it wasn't the magic of 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.880 the animated movie. Also, I'm not six years old anymore, 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.560 so maybe that has something to do with it. I 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.360 will say I did. I never cried Will Mufasa died 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:07.360 as a kid, and I watched the movie over and over, 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:11.640 but I cried like a baby this time. Yeah. Maybe 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.599 it's the hormones. But also I just now that I 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.320 have a dog, you know, all the animals. Just I 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:18.640 kept thinking about my Molly, and I'm like, what if 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.400 we died and Molly saw our dead bodies and the 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:25.040 gorge after the buffalo. You know, you know what if 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.200 that was us and I just pictured Molly the whole time. 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:29.880 She's like my proxy for my actual baby, I guess, 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.719 but yeah, and I got all of in my feelings. 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.120 It's just like Disney movies are so sad because like 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.520 the kids always were orphaned, you know, the parents always 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:38.240 died at the beginning. 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:42.880 He is very morbid, very sad. My dad would say 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:44.200 morose and melancholy. 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.480 And then Collie. But it was good. I mean, the 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:50.080 effects like it looked like the Planet Earth documentary but 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.720 with voices and songs, you know, like the effects were 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:56.839 so realistic, so realistic and beautiful. And of course, you 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.960 know Beyonce and all that. I didn't think. I thought 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.360 for a second she'd be too distracting with her voice, 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.560 like her Texas because I've never heard Beyonce not have 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:08.440 a Texas Beyonce voice, and she kind of kind of did. 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.640 But they you know, it was good. It didn't distract me, 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.040 and you know, it was a nice way to spend 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.840 two hours in the air conditioning. I'll say that. 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:21.120 You know, Beyonce, Hey, Simba, what you doing there? Simba? 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.560 You need to come Home. You're like beehive, I love Beyonce. 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:26.720 Don't come sing say. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.640 My name Simba. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.440 Oh no, that's good. 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:35.280 See so you haven't downloaded the entire album her soundtrack yet. 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.520 I had been jammy, okay, no, Spotify is my I 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:43.480 have a Spotify whatever Apple not application. I have Spotify, 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:46.760 and so I've been jamming. I'm like, look at this 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.720 love letter to Africa. Yes, I'm like, wait a minute now. 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:51.720 I honestly I'm in love with it. 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:54.679 She did good right, like very respectful of the culture. 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:57.200 And I will say that about the movie. It's very 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:58.640 you know, you think about it now and you're like, 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:02.960 Matthew Broderick, this is the Lion, like Jonathan Taylor Thomas 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.480 was the baby what like all these white actors. But 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:07.960 it makes so much sense now this cast but way 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.920 more diverse. And to have Beyonce curate the not even 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:14.920 just curate, like do the entire soundtrack, it seems like, Okay, 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:18.400 they righted some wrongs with this version. And uh yeah, 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.440 I've only I listened to it through once. I know 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:22.480 people are obsessed with brown skinned girl. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.520 Yeah, wowing girl. 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:29.040 That should be like our theme song if we wouldn't 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:29.680 get sued for it. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.640 We would she would come for us park Wood Entertainment 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:37.000 would be like and give me your entire life. Yeah, 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:40.240 so good for Beyonce. Hope you guys enjoyed the movie 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:40.600 if you. 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:45.720 Saw it, Yeah, Beyond Beyond, we love, We love Beyonce. 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.640 If you didn't see The Lion King, did you watch 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.800 so the Remember when Serena was like she was in Wimbledon. 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:54.319 Was it Wimbledon? I don't really know much about tennis, 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.000 but anyway, this most recent big tournament in London she 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.200 was in. And then it's like like guys were like 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.880 on Twitter, sting went viral where guys were or some 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:05.000 study or survey or something people were saying that a 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:07.760 bunch of regular guys were convinced that they could score 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:08.680 a point on Serena. 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:09.840 Oh my god. 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.000 And I don't know if this I saw this on 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:13.920 Twitter today. I don't know if this was before this 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:16.640 contravert this like stupid survey came out or she did 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.240 it in answer to it. But it is the best 0:09:19.240 --> 0:09:23.120 two minutes ever. It's like Serena against like five white guys, 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:25.920 like regular dudes, like in dad shorts and like baseball, 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.640 you know, backwards baseball caps and stuff, and just like 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:33.920 her get like annihilating them. It's so good. Yes, it's amazing. 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:36.800 I mean, I mean, well that's just men in general. 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.920 They just swear. I think I could. I think I 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.880 could be Serena sir. Her service over to two hundred 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:42.959 of miles per hour. 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:45.319 Now, and part of me, I like didn't want her 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:47.320 to rise to it. And again, I don't know if 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:48.959 she did this. I don't know if this already existed. 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:50.800 I don't think. I don't think it existed before I 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.040 would have seen it. But anyway, like part of me 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.520 is like, no, Serena, like you're too good to like 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:57.319 come down to that level. I prove you don't have 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.760 nothing to prove, nothing to prove. But at the same time, 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:02.760 it is extremely satisfying and so funny, and it looks 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.960 like they all had a really amazing time and it 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.720 just makes me love her even more than you ever did. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:08.280 Yeah. 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.400 First of all, her daughter is so adorable. It just 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:12.120 gives me life when she posts her. And I just 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.920 love the way her daughter mistreats her dog quake way. 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:15.880 I follow, I mean. 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.040 What, I love her sense of humor. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:28.480 I love how little EPs she gives how how clearly 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:29.760 I love her husband is with her. 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:31.280 It's just it's not easy. 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.160 And she said that she's like, you know, I get 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.800 attacked all the time, and yet somehow she's carved out 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:38.840 like this happy life for herself. 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:40.640 I can't imagine a day in day out. 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:42.840 Yes, you have people who are telling you or your amazing, 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.920 but you have a lot of people who are telling you, 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.720 you know, not not just regular people, but the sport 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:51.200 that you love actively works against you. I can't imagine 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.440 how much how much that must hurt, you know. 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:57.640 And she continues to like her poise and like that 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.800 press interview that she gave at a certain I think 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.280 she was knocked out at Wimbledon. Again, not sure if 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:05.520 that's what it's called. I'm pretty sure it's what it's called. Okay, thanks, 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.760 you know that that reporter asked her if something along 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:14.200 the lines of does the criticism around you fighting for 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.400 equal rights you know, bother you or whatever? And she 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:18.960 was like, the day that I stopped fighting for equal 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.200 rights of people who look like me is a day 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:22.120 I'll be in my grave. 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.920 Yeah, And I was like, you better step on some 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:25.640 ring now. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.080 And I just love her interview voice it's just like 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:32.400 so no nonsense, like she's not she's not like yelling 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:35.320 at people. She's not. She's just like statement effect, this 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:37.600 is who I am. And she's so grounded in herself. 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:39.680 And you have to be to have to have that 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:41.520 kind of career where it's that much pressure. 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:45.160 Yes, honestly, but if you see how I remember when 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:47.199 when they were kids then in Saince Arena, how much 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:51.480 their father used to really pour and pump them with confidence, 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:54.640 and you see how adamant he was. People said like 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:58.280 it was it was arrogance, but it wasn't. I remember 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.720 an interview where was interviewing Bnus and Venus was like, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.560 I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna beat her. I think 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.240 I'm a better player. And the interview me and while 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.840 Venus had to be like thirteen fourteen, and the interview. 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:09.840 Were you could tell took exception. 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:13.199 It was like challenging her, but not in a way 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:14.960 of like oh you sure, as if you're talking to 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:19.240 it this is a child. He was being disrespectful because 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.000 I guess black little girl who cares. Father jumps in 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:24.199 and is like, I'm sorry, what part of this is 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.559 a child, don't you understand. Well, no, no, no, no, that's 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:29.880 a child that you're speaking to. Why shouldn't she feel 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.200 confident in herself? You're wanting her not to feel confident? 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:33.000 That is your aim here. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:33.640 I loved it. 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.200 I said, if you don't step in, dad, You know, 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:39.079 they all called him so crazy, but look what crazy raised. 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.760 He wasn't crazy. He was adamant that his daughters deserved. 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.400 He was adamant that his daughters were worthy. And thank 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:46.439 god that he did that. 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:48.680 Because look at what the sport tried to do to them. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.800 And if it wasn't for him, and I'm sure her 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.520 family's saying that you are you are everything that you 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:56.080 could possibly be, then they wouldn't be here. 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.000 Yeah. Has he written a parentine book? Because I'll read 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.360 it over. I would like to know how to do that. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:04.360 Yeah, right, it's hard. 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:08.360 I think it was. Was it? It was either Maya Angelo. 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:12.040 It was either her book or Ayana Bonzan And she said, deal, 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:13.880 I think me it was my Angelo. She said she 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:15.520 didn't have any money or anything to give her son. 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.760 The only thing she could give him was confidence. So 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:20.560 she boosted him as much up as much as he 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.480 could because she could, Because she said she knew that 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.600 life was going to try to knock him down over 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:26.000 and over. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.000 But then also, how do you keep him alive for 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:29.800 the first six months? Anybody have any tips? Let me know, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:34.480 thank you, just trying to get to the first six months. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:35.880 From what I just understand. 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:37.920 They just said, you know that it's a lot the 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:39.760 first couple of months, but then after a while you 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.920 get into a groove, you know, but you know, especially 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:44.400 as the first time, this is just what I've heard, Like, 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.440 you know that, don't expect for it not to be 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.480 a lot that but and it's okay because you're not 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:52.640 crazy that that's just it's a lot, because one, you. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.640 Still have like pregnancy hormones pumping through your veins. 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:57.800 This is a brand new being that literally was not 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.360 here before and is now here that the bay is 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:01.800 also like what the hell is going on? 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:02.840 Right? 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:04.680 How do I breathe? How do I eat? 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:05.400 Yes? 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.000 And it was so funny because like it was crazy 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.000 when I went to go visit my sister in Chicago. 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:13.920 Meanwhile, her husband is a whole doctor. You would have 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.480 thought they were both fifteen. 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:18.559 Year olds, like with like he was like they were 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.680 just like if it wasn't for my sister Carol, who 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:22.720 has the two little ones. 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.240 She came and got their whole life together. They were like, 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:26.800 oh my god, thank you so much. They're like, we 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:27.240 didn't know. 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.800 She's like that bottle the nipple there are nipple holes, 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:32.440 and that bottle the hole is too big. That's what 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:38.680 the baby is gasping, yes, basically, and like just like. 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:42.440 You know, I mean, I'm gonna drown my baby. 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.000 So one thing that what I have heard is helpful 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:47.720 is that if you know anyone who's had a child 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.080 within a year, because they're still fresh, you know, like 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:51.880 if someone had to hit a three or four then 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.560 they've forgotten. But anybody who's had a child within a 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:55.880 year is gonna be really helpful to you. 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.640 And my all my girlfriends who have because I have 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.800 a lot of girlfriends who on their second kid by now, 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.960 but like young kid and they have already been So 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.200 my friend shout out to my friend Sarah, who told 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:06.880 me she's just gonna look at my registry and just 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:11.920 fix it. I was like, thank you, because I don't 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:16.040 know this is no, you don't need this, you need this. 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:16.440 Yeah. 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:18.440 So, and I had brunch with a friend who's also 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.800 she's pregnant too, and just like just having those conversations. 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:25.240 So and I've heard from some from some listeners since 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:27.000 the show aired last week. Thank you guys so much 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.760 for all your messages. They were so sweet, so sweet. 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:32.760 And some of you guys are pregnant too, and some 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.640 of you guys have kids. So any tips, any books. 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.000 I'm a book I like to read books for stuff, 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.040 and I feel like most of the books I'm being 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:41.880 recommended are like for the pregnancy part, and I'm like, 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:44.320 that's the shortest part. That's kind of the easiest part. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.480 You just sit there and eat things and just like, 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.280 don't fall off this, you know, don't fall down a staircase. 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:52.200 Sure there's some challenges, but like what I want is 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.160 like the first two years, Like, how do you make 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.040 a smart kid? How do you make a kid who's like, 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.440 you know, not a serial killer? Do you make a 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.440 valt a Toorian like I'm thinking about as I do, 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:08.240 Oh my god, I love the future. How do you 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.600 make a kid who does her homework? Like, because can 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:12.480 you take that for granted? Because I'm sure you were 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.000 I don't know, Well, no, you're talking about how bad 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:14.320 you were. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.880 I was not a homework. Dude, what I was a 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:18.240 trouble maker. 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.200 I mean as much as a Nigerian child can be 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:22.120 a trouble maker, because you know, there's only but so 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:23.440 much that your parents will allow. 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:24.840 But I was not. 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.360 When I look at a supergirl, I don't know. I 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.480 tell Superman all the time, you lucked out. That girl 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.960 comes home homework usually done at school, she gets great grades, 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:36.080 she doesn't get in trouble at school. 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:38.720 I'm like, who are you? Because I was not that child? 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:41.520 And yet it's okay if your child is not that child, 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:43.480 because look at me now, I'm decent. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.280 That's true. There's all kinds of people who like turned 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.960 into jillionaires or you know, invent different you know, amazing inventions, 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.160 or start companies who weren't good in school. So that's right. 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:55.520 I need more realistic advice like that. Correct remind me 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.000 how crazy you were, because look at you now. 0:16:58.720 --> 0:16:59.480 I'm not gonna lie. 0:16:59.880 --> 0:17:02.760 My parents are like yo, every other week. That's where 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:04.399 my dad calls me. He says, I can't believe it. 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:06.080 I can't believe. 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:06.440 I'm like that. 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:12.520 IM like they're like, we tried everything. I mean, you 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.159 said no to everything, and look at you now. I'm like, 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:17.240 I know, Daddy, it's been five years. 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.800