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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray.

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Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom Never told you?

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Speaker 1: From House Stuff Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristen. Kristen Uh's

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Speaker 1: Baby Week on Discovery Health. Indeed it is there. UM

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be all sorts of programs about weird pregnancies,

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Speaker 1: crazy instances of having babies. You can't escape it. Here

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Speaker 1: at the house Stuff Works office, we are we are

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Speaker 1: baby Baby Baby. Here, we are Baby Baby UM as

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Speaker 1: part of Discovery Health, which is UM one of the

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Speaker 1: arms of our corporate family, and so we are doing

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Speaker 1: a shout out to Baby Week specifically for a new

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Speaker 1: show that's premiering on Discovery Health about the Neo Natal

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Speaker 1: Intensive Care Unit a k a. The nick You the

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Speaker 1: nick You, which is air premature babies go to grow

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Speaker 1: and get all the support that they need before they

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Speaker 1: can go home. Well, actually, what I learned when we

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Speaker 1: were doing this research, Kristen, is that it's not just

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Speaker 1: necessarily premature babies. It can be any baby that needs

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Speaker 1: a little little extra TLC sure maybe UM a medication

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Speaker 1: regiment or something like that. I was surprised to learn

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Speaker 1: that one in ten babies spend some time in the

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Speaker 1: Nike You. Yes, and we learned that from the March

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Speaker 1: of Dimes organization, which um as you may or may

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Speaker 1: not know, is a nonprofit dedicated to infant health. And

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Speaker 1: the reason we're bringing them up so early in the

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Speaker 1: podcast is they run one of the best websites for

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Speaker 1: parents who have a child in the nick You and

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Speaker 1: so that's where a lot of this information that is

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Speaker 1: coming from today is going to come from. And they

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Speaker 1: also provide a lot of support systems for parents who've

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Speaker 1: got a child in the Nike You. Again, so that's

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Speaker 1: that would be one of the first places you're gonna turn.

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Speaker 1: But the way we're going to approach this today is

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Speaker 1: no one expects to have a child in the Nike You.

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Speaker 1: Most likely unless you've ad a really difficult pregnancy. Um

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Speaker 1: you know, the fact that you have a prettymature baby

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Speaker 1: might catch you unaware. Yeah, we might think of it

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Speaker 1: as more of a worst case scenario, but they're good

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Speaker 1: news is is that the nick You is ready to

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Speaker 1: protect and support your baby. There's a lot going on.

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Speaker 1: It's a busy place, it's not like, and the doctor

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Speaker 1: just takes the baby away and puts it off in

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Speaker 1: an isolation chamber and and calls it a day. Uh,

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Speaker 1: there's there are a lot of people there who can

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Speaker 1: not only support your baby, but also support mothers and

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Speaker 1: families that are going through this, because the March of

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Speaker 1: Dimes points out that going through the nick You experience

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Speaker 1: can be an emotional roller coaster because obviously parents are

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Speaker 1: very concerned if if they have a premature baby that

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Speaker 1: has to go to the Nike you. Um, and you know,

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Speaker 1: there's there's just a lot of emotions surrounding that you've

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Speaker 1: just had a baby. Right, it's supposed to be one

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Speaker 1: of the happiest days of your life, Kristen, this new

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Speaker 1: bundle of joy, and instead of getting to hold it

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Speaker 1: and show it off and take all sorts of cute pictures, uh,

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Speaker 1: you you're dealing with a lot of guilt, a lot

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Speaker 1: of stress, fear, what's going on. And so that's a

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Speaker 1: little bit what we want to try and address in

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Speaker 1: this podcast. Uh. If you do become one of those

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Speaker 1: one in ten families, uh, you'll have a little bit

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Speaker 1: of idea about what's going on, and of course it

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Speaker 1: will give you a little bit of a preview for

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Speaker 1: the show Nick You. Yeah, so why don't we just

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Speaker 1: walk our listeners through what you can expect in the

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Speaker 1: Nick because I was kind of surprised to learn just

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Speaker 1: how many different people you're gonna encounter in the Nike You.

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Speaker 1: It's not just nurses and babies. You're gonna have specialized

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Speaker 1: pediatricians who are trained at taking care of premature babies,

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Speaker 1: who are kind of the heads of the Nike And

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Speaker 1: then you're gonna have support staff that will include other

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Speaker 1: doctors and nurses, such as respiratory therapists you help the

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Speaker 1: child breathe. You're gonna have speech language pathologists who would

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Speaker 1: work with a baby um in terms of swallowing or feeding.

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Speaker 1: Nike You teams are also going to include social workers

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Speaker 1: who are going to really assist the parents with everything

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Speaker 1: from handling insurance benefits to dealing with that emotional roller

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Speaker 1: coaster to the March of Dimes referenced, and you know,

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Speaker 1: if you are in a hospital, there will be additional

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Speaker 1: people you can drawn if you wanted to, if you

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Speaker 1: want to draw on, you know, the clergy that's on

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Speaker 1: staff at a hospital. And again, the March of Dimes

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Speaker 1: works with some hospitals to have support staff they're also

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Speaker 1: UM let's talk about what all those people are doing, because,

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Speaker 1: like you said, Christen, it's a big team, and I

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Speaker 1: think I would be most scared about walking in and

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Speaker 1: seeing a baby covered, you know, with the tubes, the

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Speaker 1: wires in some sort of you know chamber. Tell me,

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Speaker 1: tell me what's going on. A lot of times, premature

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Speaker 1: babies will be kept in an isolate, which is more

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Speaker 1: commonly referred to as an incubator or a radiant warmer,

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Speaker 1: and this basically ensures that UM, there aren't a lot

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Speaker 1: of germs that are getting into it's very very sensitive

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Speaker 1: immune system and respiratory system, and also make sure that

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Speaker 1: the baby's body temperature stays up. UM in an isolate

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Speaker 1: also as a layer of protection against noise. We might

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Speaker 1: not think about that as affecting babies, but that kind

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Speaker 1: of noise and they're very very sensitive bodies can be

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Speaker 1: harmful and those are usually connected to i vs that

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Speaker 1: are delivering fluids and medication to the babies. UM. They

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Speaker 1: might have a little ahesive pads on their chests which

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Speaker 1: are part of cardio pulmonary monitors to track their breathing

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Speaker 1: and heart rates, and then they'll also have pulse monitors

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Speaker 1: to see how much oxygen is in their blood, and

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Speaker 1: then also cuffs to monitor their blood pressure, and perhaps

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Speaker 1: a ventilator as well. So now they're hooked up to

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Speaker 1: all these things, and there's gonna be a lot of

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Speaker 1: tests throughout the day to make sure that the baby

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Speaker 1: is progressing as it should. Um most probably they're going

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Speaker 1: to do some blood tests to check blood, oxygen, sugar,

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Speaker 1: billy reubin, electro light levels. They might also have a

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Speaker 1: urine test daily to check on kidney function. There's gonna

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Speaker 1: be a lot of way in. There might be some

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Speaker 1: portable X ray machines, MRI scans to check organ functions,

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Speaker 1: and if there's a heart issue with the developing baby,

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Speaker 1: they might have an echo cardiogram. Now, one of the

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Speaker 1: most frightening aspects of having if you're a parent who

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Speaker 1: has the baby in the nickue, is this idea of

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Speaker 1: your newborn child being in isolation. However, there are actually

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Speaker 1: a lot of bonding opportunities that are made available to

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Speaker 1: parents in their baby because um doctors have found that

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Speaker 1: skin to skin contact is very important for premature babies

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Speaker 1: growth and also um if possible um breastfeeding breast milk

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Speaker 1: feeding right, and you know some people they may not

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Speaker 1: be able to actually um feed the child through the breast,

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Speaker 1: that the child might not be developed enough yet to

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Speaker 1: suck out the milk. So you can pump and they

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Speaker 1: can administer it to the baby in a bottle and

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Speaker 1: maybe you'll be able to do it. That might be

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Speaker 1: one of the milestones you get to hit as your

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Speaker 1: baby developed. You know, it might be fed by two

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Speaker 1: for a while and then one day it'll be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: baby's big enough. You feed it on your own. And

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Speaker 1: one of the tips at the March of Dimes provides

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Speaker 1: is to just keep asking about that to see like

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Speaker 1: you know, it gives you an idea of your baby status,

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Speaker 1: but it also shows that you know you're ready to

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Speaker 1: be there when when that milestone arrives. And another big milestone,

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Speaker 1: depending on how premature the baby is um, it might

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Speaker 1: be when the pediatriction says that it's okay for you

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Speaker 1: to hold your baby. And when this happens here she

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Speaker 1: will probably encourage skin to skin contact, which is referred

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Speaker 1: to as kangaroo care, and that involves um the parent

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Speaker 1: opening up their shirt and holding you know, baby who's

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Speaker 1: just wearing a diaper directly against their chests, and some

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Speaker 1: doctors think that this type of contact can really shorten

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Speaker 1: a baby stay in the Nikke, there's just something about

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Speaker 1: that um parent to child's skin to skin contact that

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Speaker 1: that's just really good for them. Plus it's the most

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Speaker 1: adorably named babyhold ever in And you know, there's been

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Speaker 1: a recommendation that you know, it may not be the

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Speaker 1: kind of milestones you wanted to celebrate, you know, holding

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Speaker 1: your child for the first time, feeding it for the

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Speaker 1: first time, but to really, you know, take this scary

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Speaker 1: experience and turn into something that's you know, all part

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Speaker 1: of a kid's baby book. Keep a journal of these moments,

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Speaker 1: uh take take as main pictures as you would take

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Speaker 1: if everything had happened the way that you planned, and

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Speaker 1: just you know, while you're riding that emotional roller coaster,

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Speaker 1: try and still have as much celebration in those milestones

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Speaker 1: as you as you were probably feeling stress and anxious

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Speaker 1: anxiety about them. And one of the biggest pieces of

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Speaker 1: advice that the March of Dimes offers for parents who

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Speaker 1: are going through this experience is really trying to arm

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Speaker 1: themselves with as much information about the environment that they're

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Speaker 1: in as possible, understanding who different people are, and then

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Speaker 1: nick you knowing where they can go if they need to, say,

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Speaker 1: get a cot for the night, Knowing what kinds of

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Speaker 1: questions to ask, to keep up to date on their

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Speaker 1: baby's status, um and all of this information can be

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Speaker 1: easily found either on the March of Dimes website or

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Speaker 1: the Discovery Health website because really, you know, at this point,

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Speaker 1: the health of your baby is sort of out of

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Speaker 1: your hands. You've you kind of have to let the

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Speaker 1: doctors do their work, which can be ensure very very

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Speaker 1: nerve wracking for a new parent. But if you have

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Speaker 1: a little more knowledge and control over the actual environment,

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Speaker 1: that it might ease that burden a little bit. And

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Speaker 1: I think that you know, while you say christ and

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Speaker 1: the care is a little bit out of your hands,

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Speaker 1: I do think you can still trust your gut as

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Speaker 1: a parent, as the March up Time says, and you know,

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Speaker 1: just keep asking questions like can I hold the baby today?

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Speaker 1: Like how's the baby doing today? If you take the

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Speaker 1: initiative to see yourself as part of that team that's

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Speaker 1: caring for your baby, you know, it might ease your

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Speaker 1: stress about at the end of the day, you know,

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Speaker 1: handing the baby over to a nurse and then going

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Speaker 1: and getting some sleep. Knowing that you can be there

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Speaker 1: as much as you can be there, uh, and having

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Speaker 1: that interaction on on the baby's development schedule, I think

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Speaker 1: can be empowering in its own way. It's still scary,

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Speaker 1: it's still not the way you probably planned it out,

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Speaker 1: but if you yourself as private that team, it can

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Speaker 1: be you know, a way to ease that anxiety. And

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Speaker 1: I think one thing that's important for parents understand is

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Speaker 1: that even after a baby leaves in a queue and

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Speaker 1: goes home, it isn't necessarily going to be just right

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Speaker 1: back to normal. There's still gonna be some extra precautions

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Speaker 1: that you have to take um possibly some some extra

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Speaker 1: checkups with the doctor to make sure that you know

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Speaker 1: the baby is still um developing just fine. And you

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Speaker 1: might not be able to take the baby out into

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Speaker 1: any public places for a little while, just because they're

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Speaker 1: respiratory and immune systems are so sensitive, and it might

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Speaker 1: be difficult even after you get home from the hospital

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Speaker 1: just seeing mothers with other babies that might have developed

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Speaker 1: with with less you know, bumps in the road than

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Speaker 1: then you and your child and acknowledging all of those feelings,

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Speaker 1: whether you know it's from the from the joy to

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Speaker 1: the anguish, is something that the March of Times really

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Speaker 1: urges parents is to do. So. Now, if you go

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Speaker 1: to that March of Times website, or if you go

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Speaker 1: to the Discovery Health website which has the show um

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Speaker 1: all lined up with lots of cool clips and articles

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Speaker 1: from nick You doctors, NICKI nurses, it provides you all

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Speaker 1: that information about what the experience is like. But you know,

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Speaker 1: on stuff I've never told you, whether we've been talking

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Speaker 1: about eating disorders or relationships christen as, we know that

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Speaker 1: the best resource is our listeners. That you guys have

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Speaker 1: experiences with things like this, and so we want to

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Speaker 1: know from you if you've had a child uh in

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Speaker 1: the nick you, what advice you give someone who's going

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Speaker 1: through the same experience one of which of the things

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Speaker 1: that we've said have rung true to you which sound

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Speaker 1: like utter crap um, you know, it's once you get

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Speaker 1: through that experience, it is sort of a special advantage

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Speaker 1: point and that you can help other people who are

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Speaker 1: going through this or who might go through this in

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Speaker 1: the future. So uh, let's hear from you guys. If

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Speaker 1: you've had any experiences with the nick you, we'd love

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Speaker 1: to hear them and share them with the rest of

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Speaker 1: our listeners. The address is mom Stuff at how stuff

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Speaker 1: works dot com and don't forget to check out all

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Speaker 1: of the baby Week festivities in July right and you

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Speaker 1: can also if you don't want an email, you can

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Speaker 1: also share your thoughts directly with our other listeners on

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Speaker 1: our Facebook fan page at Stuff Mom Never Told You,

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Speaker 1: and you can also follow us on Twitter send us

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Speaker 1: a tweet if you feel the urge to, and on

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Speaker 1: Twitter we are Moms Stuff Podcast, So we look forward

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Speaker 1: to hearing from you guys. In the meantime, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: read some emails from people who have written in on

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Speaker 1: previous episodes, such as this one from Aaron on the

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Speaker 1: pre Nup podcast. She writes that she is an attorney

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Speaker 1: in Texas. Uh, and anything from this email is stole

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Speaker 1: in regard to Texas law. But here's a little bit

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Speaker 1: about Texas. It's probably not unique to anyone else. Aaron writes,

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Speaker 1: prenups can be a great protection. As you both explained,

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Speaker 1: there are also postnups, at least in Texas, where mary

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Speaker 1: couple can make provisions for their future earnings, debts, purchases,

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Speaker 1: at cetera. One scenario when I would certainly recommend considering

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Speaker 1: a post up is when one partner stops working outside

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Speaker 1: the home in order to raise children, assist with elderly parents,

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Speaker 1: or other reasons. There are laws that can help protect

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Speaker 1: spouses who choose to stop working during the marriage, but

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Speaker 1: in Texas there are certain factors within the law before

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Speaker 1: any protection through the family Code is triggered. A post

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Speaker 1: up would also be a great idea of one spouse

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Speaker 1: comes into an unexpected inheritance based on the property laws

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Speaker 1: of the state involved, there could be issues with the

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Speaker 1: nature of the property, meaning could be divided upon divorce,

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Speaker 1: as well as any earnings or debts from that property.

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Speaker 1: Something else you touched on with dating. Pre nups in

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Speaker 1: Texas use cohabitation agreements. These are very worthwhile, but I

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Speaker 1: don't have enough people asking about them before it's too late.

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Speaker 1: If you're going to live with someone, there will be

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Speaker 1: debts as stadio with utilities, rents, and maybe in credit

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Speaker 1: cards and loans. There are also assets like electronics furniture

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Speaker 1: and maybe even real estate, and if either of the

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Speaker 1: cohabitants have children, there will certainly be potential issues. I

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Speaker 1: highly recommend that people talk with an attorney in their

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Speaker 1: state prior to moving in with someone to find out

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Speaker 1: what things may need to be addressed. All right, well,

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Speaker 1: I've found a email here from Kate, also about our

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Speaker 1: prenup podcasts, and she says, well, I can appreciate the

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Speaker 1: always be prepared motto, especially considering such a huge decision

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Speaker 1: is getting married and all that comes with it. It's

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Speaker 1: still impossible to minimize or eliminate risk, especially in dealing

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Speaker 1: with human relationships. Although divorce is frighteningly common these days,

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Speaker 1: I would like to think that in most cases, even

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Speaker 1: with broken hearts and lots of anger involved, people can

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Speaker 1: generally treat each other humanely. That may be hopelessly naive

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Speaker 1: of me, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

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Speaker 1: I simply believe that the more we try to wrap

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Speaker 1: and define our lives in legal tape, the less we're

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Speaker 1: actually living and the less profound our relationships become. Things

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Speaker 1: will break down, for sure, and you will have to

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Speaker 1: pick up the pieces. But that's really all part of

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Speaker 1: the deal. Also, just a quick thought about the metaphor

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Speaker 1: of the plane crash. Neither you, nor the pilot, nor

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Speaker 1: anyone else on board as any part in the quote

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Speaker 1: unquote decision to crash. So thank you Kate for your

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Speaker 1: perspective on prenups. I have one more and it's really short,

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Speaker 1: but it's from Doug and it's about what we should

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Speaker 1: call single ladies podcasts all right, And Doug wrote us

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Speaker 1: a fabulous email that says, I think that fabulous single

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Speaker 1: ladies should be referred to as conger Molly's old Doug.

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Speaker 1: I don't score some brownie points, so if you guys

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Speaker 1: want to score brownie points as well, send us an email,

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Speaker 1: though it does not have to be positive or just

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Speaker 1: send as brownies or or just good thoughts from wherever

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Speaker 1: you live. Um. Again, the email addresses mom stuff at

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Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com And as Kristen said, we're

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Speaker 1: on Facebook, Twitter, and during the week you can check

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Speaker 1: out all our thoughts on our blog which is called

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Speaker 1: stuff Remember told you, and it is at how stuff

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Speaker 1: works dot com. For more on this and thousands of

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Speaker 1: other topics. Because at how stuff works dot com. Want

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Speaker 1: more how stuff works, check out our blogs on the

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