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Speaker 1: Lokata Radio is a radiophonic novela.

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Speaker 2: Which is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm Fosa fem.

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Speaker 2: And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another

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Speaker 2: Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a

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Speaker 2: global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,

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Speaker 2: the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're

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Speaker 2: not done telling stories.

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Speaker 1: We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even

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Speaker 1: podcasting through a new decade of our lives.

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Speaker 2: Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca to Our Radio

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Speaker 2: independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Dura Network in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty two.

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Speaker 1: From our lips to your ears, fall in love with

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Speaker 1: Loka to a radio like you never have before.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Season nine, Love at First Listen.

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Speaker 1: Ola La Loka Morees. Welcome to see nine of lok

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Speaker 1: at Dora Radio. I'm Theosa and I'm ala. Look at

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Speaker 1: Otter Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our present

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Speaker 1: and shifting the culture forward. So today we are bringing

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Speaker 1: back an OG's segment oh yea Lokas where we answer

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Speaker 1: listener questions, so let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: You are now listening to Oh Yas and I love

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Speaker 2: this first one because I think it's so relevant to us. Yes,

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Speaker 2: what advice would you both give to someone starting their

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Speaker 2: saturn return? Now, Dyosa. For the listeners who don't know

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Speaker 2: what a saturn return is, can you describe it?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, So when you were born, Saturn was in

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Speaker 1: your chart somewhere, and it takes twenty nine and a

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Speaker 1: half years for it to return to the same place.

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Speaker 1: So typically you start to feel our people mark their

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Speaker 1: saturn return actually two years prior to that, so twenty

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Speaker 1: around age twenty seven. Sometimes it starts on your birthday,

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Speaker 1: sometimes before, so it doesn't it's not always marked by

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Speaker 1: your birthday, but you can do a chart reading, either

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Speaker 1: on one of the astrology apps or actually meet with

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Speaker 1: an astrologists that can go over these the specifics of

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Speaker 1: when it'll be in your chart and when it's returning,

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Speaker 1: so you feel the effects of your life changing, of

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Speaker 1: the growth quite literally, really really intensely in those two

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Speaker 1: years from twenty seven to twenty nine. Sometimes it takes

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Speaker 1: people like it doesn't return into their chart until they're

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Speaker 1: already in their thirties at thirty or sometimes twenty nine.

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Speaker 1: It really depends person a person.

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Speaker 2: So it's very like it's your late twenties early thirties

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Speaker 2: correct more or less. If you're thinking about your age

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Speaker 2: and when this happens for you. Yes, And I feel

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Speaker 2: like my Saturn return was definitely like twenty nine to

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Speaker 2: now basically, And I think my advice would be embrace

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Speaker 2: the chaos. Embrace the chaos, lean into the change. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I was twenty nine turning thirty, and we were in

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Speaker 2: the pandemic, you know, and so everything was changing and

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Speaker 2: everything was in flux and up in the air. And

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Speaker 2: I think that the past few years I have embraced

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Speaker 2: that time to like try new things in so many

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Speaker 2: different ways. I mean, from things like start I mean,

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Speaker 2: I started stand up comedy when I was twenty nine.

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Speaker 2: That has been like this investment that I can see

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Speaker 2: paying off in a lot of different ways now that

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty two. I mean, I started roller skating. And

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Speaker 2: I'm not like a professional roller skater or anything, but

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Speaker 2: just that has brought so much into my life. And

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Speaker 2: I love skating still, even though I don't do it

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Speaker 2: as much as I was at the beginning during the pandemic.

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Speaker 2: It's still something that brings me so much joy. I

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Speaker 2: moved out of my family home and got my first

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Speaker 2: like big real apartment and I'm like doing the calculations

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Speaker 2: and I need to check with my mom about this,

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Speaker 2: but I'm like ninety nine percent sure that I am

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Speaker 2: probably the only woman, to my knowledge in my family

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Speaker 2: who has ever lived completely by herself, not with family

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Speaker 2: or a partner. My grandmother lived with her employers back

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Speaker 2: in the day when she was young, when she first

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Speaker 2: came to LA But to like have your own place

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Speaker 2: by yourself, I think I'm the only one. And so

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Speaker 2: even just like cosmically getting me there to that place,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I had to really like lean into

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Speaker 2: the possibility of that type of change, not only for

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Speaker 2: myself but just like how we operate as a family.

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Speaker 2: And I'm so happy that I've done it. It's just

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Speaker 2: opened up so much for me. And I've been in

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Speaker 2: my space for like less than less than a year now. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so like lean into it, embrace it, like don't hold

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Speaker 2: on to the old stuff or to the way things were,

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Speaker 2: Like let it go, you know, and like make room

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Speaker 2: for something new, clean out your closet. Yeah, clean out

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Speaker 2: your closet literally and metaphors and metaphorically. How about you,

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Speaker 2: what would your advice be that.

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Speaker 1: I echo that my sudden return started around the time

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Speaker 1: I turned twenty seven, and it returned I think of

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Speaker 1: maybe a month after I turned a month before or

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Speaker 1: a month after I turned thirty, And I say the

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Speaker 1: same thing, like, let it go, let it all go.

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Speaker 1: Don't force, don't force it, don't force anything like, don't

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Speaker 1: force the old ways that you were doing things, the

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Speaker 1: old things in your life to make sense in this

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Speaker 1: new phase of your life because you find yourself outgrowing

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Speaker 1: things and the things that you maybe you once thought

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Speaker 1: were good for you are no longer, no longer fit

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Speaker 1: in your life in that way. And so I think, definitely,

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Speaker 1: don't force the old ways to stay. Let go of relationships,

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Speaker 1: romantic friendships, familial like those kinds of relationships you In

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Speaker 1: my experience, I started to reexamine them, look at them differently,

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Speaker 1: either let some of them go or work on the

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Speaker 1: ones that I thought were worth reinvesting in. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can't force it. And I feel like my saturn

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Speaker 1: return definitely dragged me, like in terrible ways when things

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Speaker 1: finally fall into place the way they're supposed to. Like,

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Speaker 1: I could have gotten there quicker if I hadn't like

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Speaker 1: resisted it so much. And something that I remember when

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Speaker 1: I was I wasn't in my Saturn return yet. I

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Speaker 1: was probably twenty five, and I started hearing people talk

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Speaker 1: about their sad in returns because a couple of people

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Speaker 1: were older than me and they were very into astrology,

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Speaker 1: and so I started That's when I started learning about them.

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Speaker 1: And one of the markers I remember very clearly was

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Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship, this is either your relationship

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Speaker 1: is either going to go to the next level. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna get married, You're going to move in together. Something

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Speaker 1: significant is going to happen that redefines the relationship or

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Speaker 1: goes the opposite way the relationship ends. And I thought

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Speaker 1: about that because when now, well, my spouse right, but

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Speaker 1: my partner was he was starting his sad in return.

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Speaker 1: He had actually ended a long term relationship. And then

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Speaker 1: a year later he and I started dating, and so

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Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, when I heard that, I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: that tracks for you. For him, that tracked for him,

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Speaker 1: and then for me, well, same thing. We got married.

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Speaker 1: So I remember always thinking about that and kind of

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Speaker 1: knowing like I have not outgrown this relationship, but I

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Speaker 1: think something is going to change, and it did change

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Speaker 1: we got married, and so yeah, I would say, like,

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Speaker 1: let don't force things, let it go, give room for

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Speaker 1: the growth, for the newness, for the freshness. And it

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Speaker 1: may hurt, growing pains hurt, but it's good on the

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Speaker 1: other side.

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Speaker 2: And there might be people in your life who are

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Speaker 2: actually resistant to your growth, yep, because growth can be uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: not just for the person growing, but for the people

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Speaker 2: around us. Sometimes folks are excited for you and proud

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Speaker 2: of you. Other times it can be scary for people

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Speaker 2: to see you, you know, be different, to become different,

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Speaker 2: to live differently.

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Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, to make choices.

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Speaker 2: You're less available, maybe you don't live close by anymore,

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Speaker 2: maybe you are not in the same job, maybe you

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Speaker 2: don't have to whatever it is. You know, the things

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Speaker 2: we do impact the people around us, and sometimes even

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Speaker 2: the things that are beneficial for us like freak other

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Speaker 2: people out. And so I think it's also really important

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Speaker 2: to like, you have to prioritize your saturn return, you know,

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Speaker 2: and your growth and your movement forward and allow yourself

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Speaker 2: to be an even doper version of you. It is possible.

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Speaker 2: There is more, you know, there's more. And I think

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Speaker 2: in La especially, I think we can get so stuck

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Speaker 2: into our normal and our routine, and I think, especially here,

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Speaker 2: we get really into like, well, this is my family,

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Speaker 2: and this is my neighborhood, and this is my job,

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Speaker 2: and this is my thing, and this is where I

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Speaker 2: hang out and this is what I do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's so spread out, you usually stay in

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Speaker 1: your little square, your little pocket of LA totally.

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Speaker 2: But there is a world outside of here. There is

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Speaker 2: a world outside of Los Angeles, and there's other ways

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Speaker 2: of doing things, and there's other kinds of people, and

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Speaker 2: there's other stuff going on, and I think it's really

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Speaker 2: healthy to explore that also in your side and return

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Speaker 2: get off the internet, get off, get off, spend time offline.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like you're going to grow in the world.

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Speaker 2: You got to look up from your phone, you know,

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Speaker 2: and like formulate your own thoughts and clear the chatter

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Speaker 2: out of your head and try something new. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: we can learn a lot on TikTok, but also it's

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Speaker 2: kind of an echo chamber and the world still has

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Speaker 2: like a lot more to teach us. Beyond the curate

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Speaker 2: did algorithmic feed, you know, so give yourself that opportunity

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Speaker 2: as well. I think that's kind of been major for me,

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Speaker 2: is divesting emotionally and time wise from Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I noticed that the other day. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: haven't seen malab post on her story at all. No,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I had been noticing that about you,

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Speaker 1: that you are definitely more offline now. So hearing you

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Speaker 1: say that, it makes sense because I was picking up

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Speaker 1: on it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, it's the type of thing that, like,

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Speaker 2: I spent so much time on Instagram, in particular in

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Speaker 2: my twenties. I would like wake up and the first

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Speaker 2: thing I would do is like post and or tweet.

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Speaker 2: I would be tweeting furiously yes, morning, noon, and night,

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Speaker 2: you know, not sleeping every thought in my fucking head

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Speaker 2: on the internet and like getting riled up over things

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Speaker 2: and like putting so much energy and like emotion into it.

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Speaker 2: And I had like some shift where I realized, like

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Speaker 2: this is ugly, a, B. This is kind of useless,

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Speaker 2: and C this is boring. Like I'm not developing and

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Speaker 2: myself as an artist with this practice, I am not

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Speaker 2: fostering relationships this way I'm not growing as a person.

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Speaker 2: I'm not learning new things. I'm just posting, you know.

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Speaker 2: I And also, you know, one of the reasons why

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Speaker 2: I'm like, let me go to school, let me go

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Speaker 2: back to school, because school still has a place and

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Speaker 2: it's still a I can learn things in school that

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to learn on fucking YouTube, you know,

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Speaker 2: and let me go be around human beings and like

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Speaker 2: have like a sense of normalcy and routine. So I

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Speaker 2: think Instagram and social media obviously has been huge for

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Speaker 2: us in getting us to where we are, But it's

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Speaker 2: also one of those relationships that I feel like my relationship,

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Speaker 2: I haven't outgrown the Internet because we still rely on

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Speaker 2: the Internet, but my I've outgrown like my dynamic, you know,

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Speaker 2: with with social media. I don't and maybe like I'll

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Speaker 2: start posting again, but right now I'm really I'm still

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Speaker 2: making stuff. I'm creating stuff, but it's just not on

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Speaker 2: my Instagram stories. It's somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: Totally. Yeah, I'm still very much connected with social media

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Speaker 1: because I feel like I have things that I'm sharing,

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Speaker 1: like the book club, like that is like that is

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Speaker 1: actually just on social media, Like my book club is online. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I still very much feel tethered to the Internet,

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Speaker 1: which I don't like. I would love to get to

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Speaker 1: a point where I can just like make something and

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Speaker 1: go offline and then post it and then go offline again,

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Speaker 1: like I see artists get to that point, and I

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Speaker 1: want to be there. I don't know if with a

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Speaker 1: podcast it's possible. Maybe with a book, yes, But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I definitely feel myself like kind of pulling away from

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Speaker 1: the Internet, but also still seeing it as a tool.

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Speaker 1: So I've been trying to find a balance of how

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Speaker 1: to one give it some importance in my work and

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Speaker 1: using it as a tool to promote the work, but

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Speaker 1: also not relying on it solely, and also like letting

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Speaker 1: myself detached from it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we're just becoming more sophisticated in how

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Speaker 2: we engage. I mean, for the foreseeable future. I don't

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Speaker 2: envision like not having an account or not posting at all.

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Speaker 2: And of course with the shows, that's where we that's

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Speaker 2: where we promote the shows, that's where the audience is,

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Speaker 2: you know, and so we're always thinking of ways to

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Speaker 2: create content. I think that's not just something to put

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Speaker 2: up there, but that we're actually going to be proud

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Speaker 2: of and that's going to like present some type of

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Speaker 2: a challenge or it's going to be artistically interesting. It's

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Speaker 2: going to so you know, when we do our promos,

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Speaker 2: our visual promos for the new season of LOK, that's

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Speaker 2: always a fun opportunity to put something original together, to

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Speaker 2: work with a team, to work with Jessica of Redheart

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Speaker 2: Media to like build a set and we write a

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Speaker 2: script and we pick our outfits, our wardrobe. We have

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Speaker 2: Robert doing our hair and makeup. We work with Grisol

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Speaker 2: to make music, to make a soundtrack and a score

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Speaker 2: for the episodes, but also for our visuals. Like that

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Speaker 2: type of stuff I think is so much more fulfilling

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Speaker 2: than like we're just posting just to post.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think definitely we've outgrown that for sure, and

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Speaker 1: so you'll see, like our page is like not as

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Speaker 1: active as maybe it was once was years ago. But

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Speaker 1: I think we yes, it's like when we have something

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Speaker 1: to share that's intentional, we share it and then if not,

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Speaker 1: then it's it's a little silent. Yeah, I think that's okay.

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Speaker 2: And that might change. I mean that might change this summer,

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Speaker 2: you never know, yeh ever, know, just stay tuned, just

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Speaker 2: keep watching, I mean, don't follow, keep following. Definitely keep following.

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Speaker 1: Well, best of luck on your Saturn return. Don't be

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Speaker 1: afraid to let go, don't be afraid to grow. Let

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Speaker 1: it happen, because the universe will make it happen. It

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Speaker 1: forces you, It forces the changes. So either you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get with it or you're gonna You're gonna hurt while

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Speaker 1: it happens, but you'll be okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So before.

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Speaker 1: We get into today's theme, we're gonna go on a

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Speaker 1: quick break and we'll be right back. We're going to

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Speaker 1: share some personal stories we have not shared on the

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Speaker 1: podcast before, So come back, stay tuned, and we're back.

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Speaker 1: Something new that we're doing this season. We want to

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Speaker 1: do some thematic storytelling episodes where we share a story

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Speaker 1: with y'all, hopefully one you've never heard before and one

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Speaker 1: that focuses on a specific theme. For today, we are

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Speaker 1: talking about times that we did something for the plot,

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Speaker 1: specifically for the plot specifically, like so, either we made

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Speaker 1: a decison that we knew was going to either change

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Speaker 1: something or teach us something about ourselves, but we didn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily know it then. Right now we can look back

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Speaker 1: and be like Okay, that's why I did that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And so to start, Malla is going to share a

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Speaker 1: story with us where she did something for the plot.

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Speaker 2: So if you are like a really really really really

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Speaker 2: diehard Listener follower from like day one, you might have

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Speaker 2: heard me share a little bit of this story in

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Speaker 2: the past, but I've not told it like a legit,

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Speaker 2: like a full story with all the you know considerations

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Speaker 2: that USA just mentioned. So when I was a wee

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Speaker 2: last my dad was our track coach and he started

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Speaker 2: a running club at our school. We were running track

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Speaker 2: and cross country year round springfall and in summer. We

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Speaker 2: had running club and we were in Catholic school but

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Speaker 2: we didn't end our season with the CIF finals, right,

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Speaker 2: And that's like for all the Catholic schools, that's where

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Speaker 2: all the kids come together and that's like that's their finals.

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Speaker 1: That's like they're big, it's like the championship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So we were running all year long and we

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Speaker 2: were in Catholic schools and this was elementary school, right,

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Speaker 2: So for the elementary schools, the Catholic schools they would

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Speaker 2: compete in we would compete in CYO, the Catholic Youth Organization,

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Speaker 2: and so they would organize all of our track meets

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Speaker 2: between the Catholic schools and then there would be a

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Speaker 2: Cyo finals and that's where you know, you like qualify

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Speaker 2: if you make it to what the top eight or whatever.

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Speaker 2: You're competing at finals at Cyo finals. So even though

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Speaker 2: we were in Catholic school, my dad had us competing

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Speaker 2: beyond Cyo and beyond the like little Catholic school circuit

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Speaker 2: because you wanted us running against like everybody. So there

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Speaker 2: was this organize, or there still is, the AAU, the

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Speaker 2: Amateur Athletic Union, and AAU had their own like track league,

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Speaker 2: and so you could qualify for the AAU like nationals,

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Speaker 2: which were back then they were like qualifiers for the

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Speaker 2: Junior Olympics. So we went up north to go like

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Speaker 2: qualify for AAU for the Junior Olympics. And you know,

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Speaker 2: of course, like all the events are stacked, like there's

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Speaker 2: runners from all over the state, and California has a

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Speaker 2: lot of really good runners, Like California is a running

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Speaker 2: state for sure. And I remember at the time, we're

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Speaker 2: like looking at the different events and it's like, honestly,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to qualify for any of these. I'm

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Speaker 2: like I'm not going to qualify for the mile. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to qualify for the half. I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to qualify for the quarter. We're not going to qualify

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Speaker 2: for the four by four, not at like the Junior

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Speaker 2: Olympic level, right, But we're like looking at the events

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my god, there's like nobody competing

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Speaker 2: to qualify for the race walk, no one, Like the

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Speaker 2: field is open, like it's empty. And as a child,

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Speaker 2: I remember thinking to myself, and I think my dad

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Speaker 2: also was like kind of like like canoodling with me

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Speaker 2: as well, and like scheming. I'm like, I should qualify

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Speaker 2: for the racewalk and then go to the Junior Olympics

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Speaker 2: and compete in speed walking, because why not. And the

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Speaker 2: thing is the event it was like a two mile racewalk,

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Speaker 2: which is a really long time, long time to be

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Speaker 2: on the track walking. That's eight laps if memory serves,

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Speaker 2: And if it wasn't two miles, it was one mile,

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Speaker 2: which is still a long time to be on the

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Speaker 2: track walking because everybody else is running and you're walking.

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Speaker 2: And so I did it, and a couple of us

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Speaker 2: did it, we like competed, we all qualified, and then

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Speaker 2: we drove across the country as a group to Norfolk,

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Speaker 2: Virginia for the Junior Olympics, and we competed and there

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Speaker 2: were other racewalkers there. I came in like I was

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Speaker 2: like number six, I was like top ten or whatever,

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Speaker 2: and so it was very fun. And I realized later,

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Speaker 2: like throughout my life that I did that for the plot.

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Speaker 2: I did it because it was kind of a funny,

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Speaker 2: random thing to do, Like it was just literally wide open,

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Speaker 2: so I just walked on in. Why not? And then

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Speaker 2: I sort of realized that, oh, now I have this

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Speaker 2: like funny little thing, this little tidbit that every time

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Speaker 2: I've ever done an icebreaker, a new job, a new

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Speaker 2: class in school, meeting a new group of people, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: what's what's one thing that people would be surprised to

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Speaker 2: learn about you? What's a fun fact too? Truths and

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Speaker 2: a lie? I always throw it in there. It is

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Speaker 2: you heard me talk about it so many times because

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Speaker 2: it's just that's my little my little nugget. It's your anecdote,

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Speaker 2: that's my little anecdote. That's part of my lore. And

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Speaker 2: looking back, it's probably why I did it. I had

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Speaker 2: no intention of being a career racewalker. No, like I

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Speaker 2: wasn't passionate.

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Speaker 1: You weren't going to be like you didn't have aspirations

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Speaker 1: to be an Olympian. Oh you did it because it

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Speaker 1: was funny and you could do it because.

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Speaker 2: I could do it, and why not. It was like

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Speaker 2: a fun thing, and like we all went and competed

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Speaker 2: in the racewalk and it was like super random. And

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Speaker 2: my mom recently actually my mom's a teacher still at

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Speaker 2: the school that we went to, and one of our

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Speaker 2: former racewalkers like is married, has a child now, went

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Speaker 2: to visit my mom in her classroom and my mom

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Speaker 2: like introduced him to her because he came in first place.

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Speaker 2: This guy like he really took to the racewalk, like

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Speaker 2: he just excelled, he just killed it. And she introduces

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Speaker 2: him to all of her students and she's like, this

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Speaker 2: is a national champion racewalker. She's like, will you come

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Speaker 2: back and teach the children how to racewalk? And he's

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Speaker 2: like absolutely, I will. So there's just like this little

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Speaker 2: group of us that just like had this little experience

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Speaker 2: and it's just funny to like, oh yeah, this is

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Speaker 2: still it comes up sometimes it's.

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Speaker 1: Really funny because you are a theater kid, and there's

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Speaker 1: something very theatrical about, Oh, I'm gonna perform this racewalk.

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Speaker 1: This is a performance, Like I'm not just like speed

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Speaker 1: walking to qualify as a junior Olympian. I'm like performing

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Speaker 1: so that I have this tidbit to carry with me later. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and like you were laying the foundation for it. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you didn't recognize it then, but now looking back, you're like, yep,

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Speaker 1: I was performing. That was exactly what I was doing.

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Speaker 2: And if you've ever seen if you've ever seen power walking,

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Speaker 2: it's very funny to look.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, can you describe what powerwalking

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Speaker 1: looks like?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Absolutely, So the difference between walking and running, and

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Speaker 2: this goes into like the rules of racewalking and how

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Speaker 2: they conduct it. So they actually have watchers standing along

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Speaker 2: the track, like every hundred meters watching the racewalkers, because

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Speaker 2: the rules behind racewalking is it's got to be heel

404
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Speaker 2: toe heel toe. You always have to have one foot

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Speaker 2: on the ground when you run, both feet are off

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Speaker 2: of the ground, you know, like throughout your running time.

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Speaker 2: That's the difference between walking and running. So there's like

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Speaker 2: this specific form and technique and if they see you

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Speaker 2: starting to run, and if they catch you without one

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Speaker 2: foot on the ground, you get like a demerit. I

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Speaker 2: forget what they call it, but they flag you somehow

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Speaker 2: and you can be disqualified. So that's why when you

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Speaker 2: see racewalkers, the hips are swaying from side to side.

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Speaker 2: You can really see the pronounced heel toe. They got

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Speaker 2: the arms going. It's very different than running form because

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Speaker 2: it's a different event, you know. So, yeah, that's racewalking.

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Speaker 2: There's a really great Malcolm in the Middle episode about racewalking.

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Speaker 2: It's one of my favorites. And then I remember when

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Speaker 2: we were in elementary school. Then we got really into like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like who are the older racewalkers? And there were these

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Speaker 2: two twin Latino boys who were like in high school

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Speaker 2: and I don't remember their names, but they were both

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Speaker 2: but they were like super elite champion racewalkers and that

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Speaker 2: was that. That really was their thing, that really was

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Speaker 2: their sport. So I don't know, Yeah, it's a whole thing.

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Speaker 2: It was very cute, very fun, and I still walk

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Speaker 2: away from men very quickly. It comes in handy. It helps.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's my story. That's my tidbit.

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Speaker 1: That's a great story. You did it for the plot.

430
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: I did it for the plot. So I don't know,

431
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 2: maybe this goes back to the Saturn return, like do

432
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 2: the silly thing, do the weird thing, do the silly thing.

433
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 2: Do it for the plot?

434
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: Yes, do it for the plot. Don't be afraid of

435
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 1: looking silly. That's something I struggle with, but like I like,

436
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: I constantly try to get myself out of that, like

437
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 1: like it's okay, do it anyway.

438
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 2: You recently started dipping into clowning. I did, which I love.

439
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: Yes, that's terrifying.

440
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 2: And I feel like this has also been like okay,

441
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 2: just kind of shedding that sort of like okay, like

442
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 2: the fear of looking silly.

443
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: Yes, oh yeah, I actively like It's not exactly like

444
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 1: exposure therapy or anything, because I know that that's the thing.

445
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 2: Ye.

446
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: But for me, I was like, Okay, I am someone

447
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 1: that is very much in my head, very much in

448
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: my body. How do I shake that all out? How

449
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: do I get rid of that? And so I did

450
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: sign up for a clowning class, and it was hard.

451
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: It was hard, especially because I was the only non

452
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: comic because it's a comedy class. And I very much

453
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: went in there like I am not a comic. I

454
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: don't do stand up, I don't perform, but I'm a

455
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 1: writer and so I get in my head a lot,

456
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 1: and so I'm here for that. This is a creative

457
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: tool for me. And it was because like on our

458
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: second day, you know, the prompt was like, you're walking

459
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: around the room, walk around like fire, What does fire

460
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,120
Speaker 1: look like? What does fire look like at a one?

461
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: What does fire look like at a ten? And she

462
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: had us do the four elements, So we did water,

463
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: we did air, fire, and then earth, and I just

464
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: thought I walked away from that like I am going

465
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 1: to use this as a creative practice in my daily

466
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: life when I'm feeling like I just need to shake

467
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: the funk out and just do it at home, you know.

468
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I agree, like it is a way

469
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: of like getting out of your head and like not

470
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: being afraid of looking silly because everybody's doing it, You're not.

471
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't the only one. It's not like everyone was

472
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 1: there staring at.

473
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 2: Me, right, And it's like, yeah, like people aren't actually

474
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 2: fixating no on every little thing that you know, you

475
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 2: or I are doing necessarily.

476
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe right, I hope not.

477
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 2: I hope not.

478
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: Who knows, but.

479
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 2: Even if they are, let them watch, let them watch,

480
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 2: let them see.

481
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

482
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 2: Fun.

483
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: So I guess my story that I'll share today. Yeah,

484
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 1: something that I did for the plot. So I've shared

485
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: this before that I went to Catholic school K through twelve.

486
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 1: If you're a longtime listener, even a new listener, you

487
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 1: know this about us. And part of being a practicing

488
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: Catholic is completing the sacraments. So for those unfamiliar or

489
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: maybe you've repressed it, there's baptism, reconciliation, like the Eucharist,

490
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 1: receiving of the host, right, first communion, Confirmation, anointing of

491
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: the sick, marriage, and then Holy orders. But when you

492
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: get baptized, you get baptised as a baby, yeah, because

493
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 1: it absolves you of original sin because babies are born

494
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: with sin, right, So you're baptized, which is so like

495
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: hearing it is like yes, but that is that's what

496
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: it is.

497
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 2: That is the case. That is the doctrine.

498
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 1: And then your second sacrament is reconciliation, and so you

499
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: repent for your sins. You go to confession. So as

500
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: a second grader, I went to confess my sins to

501
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 1: the priest and then had to ask for repentance and

502
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: then was told to pray six helmaries or whatever. So

503
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 1: that's the second sacrament. The third is first communion, and

504
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: that's when you eat the host, the body of Christ,

505
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: and you drink the wine the blood of Christ.

506
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 2: The literal body of blood.

507
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: Also yeah, by the way, yes, And so I was

508
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 1: in third grade when this happened. And then finally for

509
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: me at least when I was in high school, I

510
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 1: got confirmed. And so confirmation is like you're professing to

511
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 1: the world, you're confirming your faith in God in the

512
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: Catholic Church. And if I recall correctly, it was like

513
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: a two year process, right, So it was a two

514
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: year process, and it started I think in either eighth grade. No,

515
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: it started my first year of high school, concluded my

516
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: sophomore year of high school. And by the second year,

517
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: close to confirmation, close to the ceremony, I asked my

518
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: mom if I could please be excused. I was like,

519
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: I do not want to do this. I'm not ready

520
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: to get to get confirmed, like I have questioned, I

521
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: don't think I'm ready to do this yet, Like can

522
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: we wait? And my mom said no, she said, no,

523
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: you have to get confirmed. She made me get confirmed.

524
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: She was very matter of fact about it. There was

525
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: no option. And around this time, I was very much

526
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: questioning my sexuality. I kind of had like a little

527
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: girlfriend on my cross country team, like yes, like exploring

528
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: was happening. And I think my mother knew this, and

529
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: so I think me saying I didn't want to get

530
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: confirmed was like confirming something else to her. Yes, right,

531
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: and so she definitely knew I was questioning my sexuality,

532
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: and so she forced me to get confirmed. And I

533
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: actually think that for anyone, if you're trying to be

534
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: a Catholic, or if you have your kids in Catholic school, right,

535
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: I don't think that people should be getting confirmed that young.

536
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: In my opinion, I think we should wait for them

537
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: to be adults because a lot of the times, like

538
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: we're indoctrinated, right, our parents are giving us their religion

539
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: and we don't really have a choice. And I think, right,

540
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,719
Speaker 1: you should always have a choice. But I digress. So

541
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: part of the confirmation requirement at the time, at least

542
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: for me, was that I had to attend a two

543
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: day retreat and I was not allowed to go anywhere

544
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: like sleepovers, nada. But the two day retreat, I was like, Okay, yeah,

545
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: you can go do that. And I don't remember how

546
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: I got out of it, if it was a scheduling issue,

547
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: like I really blocked that out and I didn't go.

548
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: But then the confirmation ceremony was like around the corner

549
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: and we do a rehearsal and the youth leader tells me, oh,

550
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: you actually can't get confirmed because you didn't go to

551
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: the two day retreat. And so I tell my mom this,

552
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: and my mom is pissed, and I don't remember her

553
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: being mad at me, but she was mad at the

554
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: youth leader. And again I don't remember the like the

555
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: pretense of why I wasn't able to go. But then

556
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: the confirmation leader is like or the youth leader is like, okay,

557
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: she can get confirmed with the stipulation that she does

558
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: a makeup retreat. Okay, cool, So my mom agrees, I agree,

559
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: in good faith, I'm gonna go to this makeup retreat.

560
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: So I get confirmed. Right, there's the Bishop of Archdiocese

561
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: of Los Angeles is like blessing us, confirming us. It's

562
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: a whole thing. My family's so happy, like okay, it happens,

563
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: I get quote confirmed, and around this time, it's like

564
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: almost June, and our makeup artist, Robert is also my

565
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: lifelong childhood friend.

566
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 2: Yes, shout out Robert.

567
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: Yes. And so at this time Robert was not out yet,

568
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: but I had a feeling he was questioning because I

569
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: was questioning, and so I orchestrated this plan to take

570
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: him to Weehoe Pride Festival so that he could know

571
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: that I supported him and that like it was okay,

572
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 1: like he could come out to me. Like, in retrospect,

573
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: I probably shouldn't have done that, but I was like

574
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: with my tools at the time, I was trying to

575
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: be a good friend, right.

576
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 2: You're like, I know, let's go to West Hollywood.

577
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: So we planned this whole day and my mom is

578
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: going to drop us off under the pretext that we

579
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: were supporting Robert.

580
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 2: Right.

581
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: My girlfriend, my high school girlfriend, went with us, and

582
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: my mom drops us all off. We're going to the parade.

583
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: We're going to the festival, which at the time I

584
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: think was like twenty dollars. It was wow, Yeah, it

585
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: was Yeah. It was kind of like, you know, like

586
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: a family like the parade at least was like family friendly,

587
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: you know, we weren't like the only young people there,

588
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: but there are like families with their children all of that.

589
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: So then the Friday before Pride, I get a text

590
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: from the youth leader telling me that the makeup retreat

591
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: is that same Sunday as Pride, and so in order

592
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: for my confirmation to be valid, I have to go

593
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: to this retreat instead. I don't respond to the text.

594
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: I don't tell my mom about it. And this was

595
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: pretty significant for me because I was like a good kid,

596
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I wasn't rebellious. I

597
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: never snuck out, I never drank, I never did drugs.

598
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: Like I was like the good Catholic school girl.

599
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, you know what I mean, Like I

600
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: didn't give your parents any stress.

601
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,479
Speaker 1: I gave them no problems. And I think now looking

602
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: back at the time, like being queer was probably the

603
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: most rebellious thing I had done, and ditching confirmation to

604
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: go to La Pride was a very rebellious thing for

605
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: this little Latina Catholic school girl thing to do. And

606
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: I remember what I was wearing. Do you remember when

607
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 1: American in Peril.

608
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 2: Was like, oh really popular, oh everywhere every the disco shorts,

609
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 2: the disco pants.

610
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I remember wearing this American Apparel tank

611
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: that had like rainbow stripes, Like every stripe was a

612
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: different color, so it looked like a rainbow. And I

613
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: was wearing little booty shorts. And then toward the entrance

614
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: of the parade there were protesters. Do you remember the

615
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: Westboro Baptist Church. I do.

616
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: They were very active.

617
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: They were very active. So the Westboro Baptist Church was

618
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: this congregation of like separatists Baptist that were very homophobic,

619
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: anti Semitic, like all kinds of things, really racist, and

620
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: they were there. To my memory, it was the Westboro

621
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: Baptist Church. Maybe it wasn't, and I'm just comparing it

622
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: to them, but I feel like it was. It was,

623
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 1: and they were yelling at us. They were telling us

624
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: not to enter, saying we were too young, and obviously

625
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: we were in Los Angeles, so we were in like

626
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 1: kind of a liberal time, right liberal city. But this

627
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: was also two thousand and eight, And when I was

628
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: thinking back on this memory, two thousand and eight was

629
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: when Prop eight was on the ballot measure.

630
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I remember PROPA.

631
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: So Prop eight for those that don't recall or aren't familiar.

632
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: Was a ballot measure to ban a same sex marriage.

633
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: So now, looking back, okay, that's probably why people were protesting,

634
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: aside from it being a pride event, but it was

635
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: definitely very like political pride always is. But because of

636
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: that ballot measure, I feel like there was a lot

637
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: of actively anti gay, anti gay marriage protest activations happening

638
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: along in LA And so to vote no, because you know,

639
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: ballot measures are super confusing, to vote no was to

640
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: actually be in support of same sex marriage, and to

641
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: vote yes was to ban it. And so I think

642
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: that the ballot measure being on the ballot that year,

643
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 1: even though I couldn't vote, I actually think was pretty

644
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: significant for me because I knew at the time that

645
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: I was queer and I was not going to ever

646
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 1: get married in the Catholic Church because I couldn't, And

647
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: so what did it matter to get confirmed because I

648
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: was never going to get married in the church And

649
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: I still didn't get married in the church.

650
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: No, you didn't, So.

651
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: I think in order for me to yeah, in order

652
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 1: for me to complete this, the next sacrament after confirmation

653
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 1: is marriage, which you do through the Catholic Church. So

654
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 1: if I had wanted to actually get married in the

655
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 1: Catholic Church, I would have had to get confirmed again

656
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: because I had never actually got confirmed. So I think

657
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: now when I reflect on that memory, aside from it

658
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 1: being my first like rebellious moment, it was also me recognizing,

659
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: like I think really looking at marriage because I was

660
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 1: never that little girl that dreamt of her wedding, you

661
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: know that thought about you know how they put that

662
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: on us as like, oh, girls think about getting married,

663
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: since women think of women think about getting married since

664
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,240
Speaker 1: the day, since they were young girls.

665
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 2: Yes, right, they dream about this, they dream.

666
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: About their wedding. I was never that person. I was

667
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: never that little girl, maybe because my parents weren't married,

668
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: so I never had anything to really think about in

669
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: that way. There was like no direct access to it.

670
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: But I remember, yeah, I think that because the correlation

671
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:37,800
Speaker 1: with being queer, the ballot measure, being on the ballot

672
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: that year, getting confirmed, all of that was kind of

673
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 1: just this recipe for like I'm not getting confirmed and

674
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to Pride instead. And I think

675
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: that's one of my favorite anecdotes from being like a

676
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: baby queer. It's like I said, fuck y'all, I'm not

677
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: getting confirmed. I'm not going to the retreat. I'm going

678
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: to go to Pride instead.

679
00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that story. That's a great story. So

680
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: much symbolism, so much meaning. I mean, truly, I mean

681
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 2: a confirmation of a different kind.

682
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I think it was the first time I

683
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: like intentionally went against my parents' wishes and that was

684
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: a really big deal for me because of the house

685
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: that the household that I grew up in, the like

686
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 1: young lady I was being raised to be was like

687
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: a Nina Winna. You know, she wasn't queer. She went

688
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 1: to Catholic school and she was going to get confirmed,

689
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: and you know that was it.

690
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 2: Were your parents upset with you? Did they get mad?

691
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: They still don't know. Oh, they still don't know.

692
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: They don't know that you never actually got confirmed and

693
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: that there was supposed to be a makeup retreat that day.

694
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 2: I love this.

695
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 1: They still don't know. So even when prepping this episode,

696
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, am I going to tell

697
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 1: my mom that? Does it even matter at this point?

698
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 1: Like she's not really a practicing Catholic anymore. I didn't

699
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: get married in the church. Does it really matter.

700
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: We'll see if they hear it. I won't find out

701
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 2: if they hear.

702
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. So that's been like my lifelong secret. I feel

703
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,959
Speaker 1: my parents still don't know.

704
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love it. And the confirmation stuff

705
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 2: with It's like, God, we spend all these years in

706
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 2: Catholic school and then it's after you graduate from the

707
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 2: eighth grade and then they want two more years out

708
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 2: of you going back for classes to get confirmed. It's

709
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 2: just it's it's scream scam to me. I'm sorry.

710
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: And I was already in Catholic school, like I was

711
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: at a Catholic high school. Yeah. So it's like you

712
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,839
Speaker 1: would get off, you would go home from school, take

713
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: a beat, go to your little youth council. I don't

714
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: remember the terms, but your little like youth meetings where

715
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: you would like be taught. And I remember it was

716
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,760
Speaker 1: like on a Friday night at like a youth leader's

717
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: house and we would talk about the Bible and we

718
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: would talk about God and we talk about Jesus and

719
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: the scriptures and all of that. And that went on

720
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 1: for two years.

721
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:03,240
Speaker 2: Lord.

722
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: So it was like Catholic school and then that and

723
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: then those classes, the confirmation classes exhausting. It was a lot.

724
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 1: It was a lot. It was a lot.

725
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 2: It's too much. Wow, m hm, look at you, I know,

726
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 2: a little ravel rouser, I know, a little dissident. I love.

727
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: I love that.

728
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: Look at us. We've come a long.

729
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,439
Speaker 1: Way, we have. We're like the same people. Yeah, more

730
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 1: grown obviously, But I think those are two good examples

731
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: of us doing things that like, yeah, kind of put

732
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: us Not that they not that it made us the

733
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: people were supposed to be, but it was like a step,

734
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, a step to that got us closer to

735
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: like who we're supposed to be and who we are now.

736
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 2: I completely agree. Yeah, it was foreshadowing of what was

737
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 2: to come.

738
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, So I think our listeners should take this

739
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: prompt and think about the times it maybe you did

740
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: something for the plot, or the time when you made

741
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: a choice that would create a different path for you

742
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: or a more clear path to the person you're supposed

743
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: to be.

744
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, doing it for the plot is really writing your

745
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: own story. Yes, Like, oh, I'm going to write this next,

746
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to write this memory for myself and creating

747
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 2: this experience, this memory for myself, and then I'll always

748
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 2: have it.

749
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely. When I was prepping for this episode, I

750
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: was thinking like I should actually talk to Robert about

751
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: this memory because we haven't discussed it since love it. Yeah,

752
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 1: so there's that too, that looking back, what.

753
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 2: If Robert's like, I don't remember that.

754
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: Oh, he definitely does. He definitely does, cutie.

755
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to know what that did for him.

756
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: M Yeah, I like forced him to tell me he

757
00:40:53,320 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: was gay. Again. Don't recommend anybody do that ever, but yeah,

758
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 1: I think for being fifteen, I was like, I'm going

759
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 1: to be a supportive friend and I'm queer, so I

760
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: want you to feel okay to be queer and open.

761
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 1: And you know, it's not like I went and told

762
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: this whole family or anything, but it was very much

763
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 1: like in Confianza, you can tell me who you are,

764
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: you know, And I should have, of course, like let

765
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: him tell me when he was ready. But in my

766
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: mind I was being helpful and like, let's go to pride.

767
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you were just creating the condition, yes, in

768
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 2: which he could come out to you.

769
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: Basically, yes, exactly. Oh my god, I've been out for

770
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: fifteen years.

771
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: Why I know?

772
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: And I married a man who child.

773
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 2: Not in the church and not in the church.

774
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 1: If you had told fifteen year old me that I

775
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 1: was going to marry a man. I would have would

776
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: have been like, you're insane, that's not me right right

777
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,919
Speaker 1: right here we are, I'm a bisexual.

778
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 2: Sadd in return, embrace the chaos.

779
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: Yes, there we go, Brace the chaos all right? Look

780
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 1: I want is well. Thank you for tuning in to

781
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: another capito of lok A Radio. We hope you liked

782
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 1: this different style of episode. We're going to keep experimenting,

783
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,439
Speaker 1: so let us know what you think and we'll catch

784
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: you next time. Theos Lokata Radio is executive produced by

785
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 1: Viosa FM and Mala Munios.

786
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 2: Stephanie Franco is our producer.

787
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: Story editing by Me diosa.

788
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: Creative direction by me Mala look.

789
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Tura podcast network.

790
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 2: You can listen to Loka Radio on the iHeartRadio app

791
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,879
Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts.

792
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,320
Speaker 1: Leave us a review and share with your prima or

793
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: share with your homegirl.

794
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 2: And thank you to our Loka motives, to our listeners

795
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: for tuning in each and every week.

796
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 1: Besitos