Speaker 1: Oh too good.
Speaker 2: All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
Speaker 2: that you.
Speaker 1: Just falls Amy and Cat got your cob and locking
Speaker 1: the brob me the lady's and pelts. You just follow
Speaker 1: an the spirit where it's.
Speaker 3: All the front.
Speaker 1: And real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the end.
Speaker 1: But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do.
Speaker 3: It jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.
Speaker 1: Amy and Cat.
Speaker 4: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
Speaker 2: I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and my feeling the day
Speaker 2: is eager, eager. Yeah, I have a haircut coming up
Speaker 2: or a hair appointment. Well, I will be getting my
Speaker 2: haircut but also colored, and I have not This going
Speaker 2: lighter in my hair was my decision. I fully asked
Speaker 2: for it last time I went, and we brought the
Speaker 2: lightness up to my root a little bit higher and
Speaker 2: more of it and no bad idea.
Speaker 4: That's on me. I even texted my hair person, I'm
Speaker 4: hating my hair. It's on me.
Speaker 2: I take full responsibility. But the eagerness and the excitement
Speaker 2: around it is. My appointment was originally further out, but
Speaker 2: she had a cancelation, so she's getting me in about
Speaker 2: eight days, sooner than I would have, and I I'm
Speaker 2: ready for that.
Speaker 1: You're not. You're not doing what now? I'm not going
Speaker 1: to chop my hair? Okay, well what I know, I'm.
Speaker 4: Not gonna do bangs.
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm not gonna do I'm not doing
Speaker 2: anything drastic other than going.
Speaker 1: Darker the color that you're used to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I've always had highlights, but I think
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try something a little bit darker. Since we're summers,
Speaker 2: we're rounding into getting close dark months, so I may
Speaker 2: try to do something darker. But I'm very eager, and
Speaker 2: I hope I don't hate it, and I hope, like
Speaker 2: a few weeks from now, I'm not texting her up
Speaker 2: my dad. I take all the resincely my responsibil I
Speaker 2: take all the responsibility. I don't like it.
Speaker 4: But have you.
Speaker 1: Had the experience where it's not your fault and it's
Speaker 1: really bad m.
Speaker 2: And you have to like, well, remember last summer when
Speaker 2: I was given money pieces?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, and I.
Speaker 4: Didn't ask for them.
Speaker 2: Okay, but would you did say some blonde stripes. I
Speaker 2: did go back and she put toner on them to
Speaker 2: tone them down because they were just it was a
Speaker 2: little too much for me, even though it was very
Speaker 2: much in style. We're speaking of stuff that's in style.
Speaker 2: Kat and I were talking before we were recording, and
Speaker 2: I was like, my jeans are just so high up.
Speaker 2: They're like when I sit down, they come up, and
Speaker 2: Kat goes, that's okay, that's what's in style. I was like,
Speaker 2: I really don't think it's in style because I think
Speaker 2: mid to low rise technically that's what's in style. But
Speaker 2: we have now hit an age where what is in
Speaker 2: style is what we feel good in. And I feel
Speaker 2: better in a high rise. So that's that's what works
Speaker 2: for me. And so what money pieces, I don't need
Speaker 2: money pieces might be in style, I don't need them.
Speaker 1: They do not work for me. Well, I was just
Speaker 1: asking that this, like are you the kind of person
Speaker 1: that says something? Or are you the kind of person?
Speaker 1: I was like, I love it, And then you go
Speaker 1: home and you just like look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: you cry. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I guess I haven't been in that situation an awful lot,
Speaker 2: But I in my experience like, if you say something,
Speaker 2: they'll help tweak it. Like I went in, She's like, oh,
Speaker 2: let me put some toner on the money pieces, it'll
Speaker 2: calm them down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what about you. I haven't had an experience
Speaker 1: where somebody who has done my like I've gone and
Speaker 1: paid for it to get done and it was really bad.
Speaker 1: But I did let a friend cut my hair.
Speaker 4: As an adult.
Speaker 1: Have I not told you this? I don't know, were
Speaker 1: you a child or an adult? I was okay, I
Speaker 1: was in college and I was poor and I had
Speaker 1: no money, and a girl that I went to high
Speaker 1: school with posted on her Facebook like, Hey, I'm in
Speaker 1: hair school. I'm trying to get.
Speaker 2: Some like hours, portfolio hours.
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you watch my baby, I'll cut
Speaker 1: your hair.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you have told me this now that you
Speaker 2: bring in the baby part the barter system she had
Speaker 2: going on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I did it. I thought I was
Speaker 1: to watch her baby for like two hours, and I
Speaker 1: also didn't know how to watch a baby either. So
Speaker 1: she cut my hair in my bathroom. It was completely
Speaker 1: crooked like this, which I mean she was new. But
Speaker 1: then I watched her baby and she didn't come back
Speaker 1: till like between I feel like one and three in
Speaker 1: the morning. I thought she was going to come back
Speaker 1: at like nine. So look what I do again? Now yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I had to go pay, so I did
Speaker 1: that for it to be free. Then I had to
Speaker 1: go pay to get my actual hair girl to cut
Speaker 1: my hair, and she was like, Catherine, why did you
Speaker 1: do that? And I was like, because I don't have
Speaker 1: any money and she was like, well, you're now spending
Speaker 1: it and she fixed it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's quite the story.
Speaker 1: But I definitely didn't tell the person that cut it
Speaker 1: that it was.
Speaker 2: Crooked, right, because you just didn't want to deal with that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're at DOT, you don't have to babysit again. And
Speaker 2: the whole thing was just awkward. If you don't speak
Speaker 2: up on that sort of thing. Is that people pleasing behavior,
Speaker 2: Like we are paying for a service. So if we
Speaker 2: tend to keep quiet but we don't like something, because
Speaker 2: there's obviously a kind way to go about it, but
Speaker 2: you're still having to go outside of your comfort zone
Speaker 2: and speak up and say, oh, you know, these money
Speaker 2: pieces are a little bright for me, I don't I Internally,
Speaker 2: I was like, I didn't ask for them.
Speaker 4: I don't even know what they are. But then I
Speaker 4: learned at work.
Speaker 2: I went to the Bobby Bone Show and Bobby was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're the front of your hair's a real bright and
Speaker 2: then Morgan, who used to be on our show, she said, oh,
Speaker 2: those are money pieces. They're a thing, And sure enough
Speaker 2: I looked up online and money pieces were trending and
Speaker 2: I was like, but I didn't ask for it, So
Speaker 2: I had to step outside of my comfort zone because
Speaker 2: I don't like, yeah, having to do that at all.
Speaker 2: But there are some people where that would paralyze them
Speaker 2: because they don't want to deal with any type of.
Speaker 1: Confrontation like that, which is like you're that's the discomfort,
Speaker 1: Like you don't want to make them uncomfortable, but what's
Speaker 1: happening is you're uncomfortable and you paid for it. So
Speaker 1: somebody has to be uncomfortable. And also that's their job,
Speaker 1: so I would I would be uncomfortable doing that too.
Speaker 1: I'm with those kind of people would be hard for me,
Speaker 1: but that's their job, so I think that they also
Speaker 1: know that that's like part of what kinds of the territory.
Speaker 1: Have you ever complained about a massage?
Speaker 2: No, okay, like to the person or like a like
Speaker 2: a I think it, you know, discreetly through a like
Speaker 2: a comment card either.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've done one of them. No, okay.
Speaker 2: I just was imagining how would you tell someone in
Speaker 2: person like this was a horrible massage.
Speaker 1: I've had really bad experiences, but I just go talk
Speaker 1: about them on the radio.
Speaker 2: Already here, so yeah, So I mean, I don't say
Speaker 2: who they are, but.
Speaker 1: This will like five maybe longer. Five years ago and
Speaker 1: I went to a resort SPA. We were at a
Speaker 1: resort on vacation with my mom and my sister. We
Speaker 1: went to go get massages and we were sitting in
Speaker 1: like the steam room or something. Everybody had their clothes
Speaker 1: on it, and the people in there, there's two people
Speaker 1: in there started talking to us and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: is this is your first time here. We're like yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're like, we were here yesterday and we got
Speaker 1: deep tissue massages. But they didn't even make us sore
Speaker 1: this morning. So we complained and we got a free massage.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, which is great.
Speaker 2: I what, but I mean, if you are asking for
Speaker 2: deep tissue and you would get like to the touch,
Speaker 2: I mean, I know that I have to be sore,
Speaker 2: but if they didn't meet their expectation, and spa prices
Speaker 2: or resorts spa prices can be really expensive, so they
Speaker 2: probably were either that's their thing and they swindle, or
Speaker 2: they just genuinely were wanting somebody didn't know they would
Speaker 2: get a free massage, but they just wanted to share
Speaker 2: their experience and they were like, Oh, we'll comp you
Speaker 2: a massage.
Speaker 1: That's probably what happened. Yeah, dang, yeah, I'm going to start.
Speaker 1: If that's any motivation to share your feelings about things
Speaker 1: free stuff, I'm.
Speaker 4: Starting that person.
Speaker 1: I don't either. I don't either. Okay, so my feeling
Speaker 1: of the day, I'm feeling very lucky, which technically isn't
Speaker 1: a feeling. But I have watched two documentaries this week
Speaker 1: Shipwrecked Have you seen it? Nope, They're both on Netflix.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say much about either of them
Speaker 1: because I think they're both kind of new. Shipwrecked, which
Speaker 1: is about a cruise ship wrecking, that's what it's about,
Speaker 1: so I'm not getting anything away, and then a Toxic
Speaker 1: Love Story, which is about a toxic love story.
Speaker 2: I love when a title of a show is squat
Speaker 2: on there's no guessing there.
Speaker 1: And the Shipwrecked one, I think I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I feel very lucky that I've only been on one
Speaker 1: cruise and we May It to Land. That's a great documentary.
Speaker 1: I do recommend it, but don't don't watch that if
Speaker 1: you love to go on cruises.
Speaker 2: Well, I just went on a cruise this year and
Speaker 2: with the Bobby Bone Show, and we have another one
Speaker 2: coming up next mort maybe don't watch it. Well, that's
Speaker 2: I'll be fine, okay. I mean the odds of something
Speaker 2: like that happening are very slim.
Speaker 1: They are, but not zero. So and then the other one,
Speaker 1: I felt lucky because I, you know, did a lot
Speaker 1: of online dating and I'm alive. I felt lucky because I,
Speaker 1: you know, did a lot of online dating and I'm
Speaker 1: alive and nobody stole all my money. And I mean
Speaker 1: I had some bad dates, but I just had this
Speaker 1: feeling of these kinds of things can happen to anybody.
Speaker 1: How did I get saved?
Speaker 2: You know? Well, again, I think it's few and far between,
Speaker 2: but it is crazy that those stories are out there.
Speaker 2: I was with my friend Mary Elizabeth last night and
Speaker 2: she has hinge and she came over to borrow an
Speaker 2: outfit and then we were talking about dates and guys
Speaker 2: and she was like, oh, I just reactivated my hinge.
Speaker 2: So because she hadn't logged in in a while. She
Speaker 2: had some notifications like fifty to go through, like guys
Speaker 2: that had sent her roses, And so she sat down
Speaker 2: at my kitchen counter and we went through them. Out
Speaker 2: of all fifty, all of them got exed. No, there
Speaker 2: wasn't a single like, and we were trying to read
Speaker 2: all about them, like there were some that were really cute,
Speaker 2: and then they would have one of those voice memo
Speaker 2: note thingies and then he would say.
Speaker 4: You know, like one guy was like, I'm a tin,
Speaker 4: but the scale.
Speaker 2: Is out of one hundred, you know, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: is he trying to be self depreciated?
Speaker 1: I mean he was cute, Why is he.
Speaker 2: Saying he's out of a hundred? That's not That's not
Speaker 2: funny though, and on and and that's what you choose
Speaker 2: to leave is a voice memo on the thing.
Speaker 1: I think the voice memo the voice was really freaks
Speaker 1: me out. Those were newer still when I was on Hinde.
Speaker 1: What I liked about them is you got to hear
Speaker 1: their voice.
Speaker 2: So it's like, I just don't think that they always
Speaker 2: say yes.
Speaker 1: They should they they should be taking I think the.
Speaker 2: Only thing that works if you're a guy listening and
Speaker 2: you're on hinge and you want to do that. But
Speaker 2: I think the only thing that really would work for
Speaker 2: me would be like testing testing. This voice thing is weird.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to be able to hear my voice.
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice, that's funny, Like okay, bye, you know
Speaker 2: that's it. Don't try to say something clever.
Speaker 4: One guy was going on and on.
Speaker 2: About how he's like a fun fact I learned recently,
Speaker 2: and I'm just fear of phrasing this because I don't
Speaker 2: know how the math shakes out, and I'm sure this
Speaker 2: is easy math for some of you, but he's like, gosh,
Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed, Like I don't even want to make something
Speaker 2: up because I'm gonna sound stupid.
Speaker 1: But he's like.
Speaker 2: A fun fact I recently learned was if you talk
Speaker 2: to one person, and each of us all have a
Speaker 2: thousand different encounters in our day, but you talk to
Speaker 2: one person, you've got your thousand and they've got their thousand.
Speaker 4: Then together you've talked to a million people.
Speaker 2: And then when you talk to five people, you've talked.
Speaker 1: To five million.
Speaker 2: And then if those people talk to each other, you've
Speaker 2: impacted a billion people.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he.
Speaker 2: Was saying it, but I was like, that doesn't it's
Speaker 2: not how it works, like just because you have. It's
Speaker 2: sort of reminding of like sex said in school, when
Speaker 2: they would be like, if you sleep with this one
Speaker 2: person and they've slept with five people, you've now slept
Speaker 2: with five people, or like or like I mean which
Speaker 2: is true, like diseases, right, which is the point of sex? Said,
Speaker 2: I get it, it's not, but then it'll be like
Speaker 2: I'm Matt then if it and if that one of
Speaker 2: the five they slept with this slept with ten people,
Speaker 2: now it's fifteen, you know, but it just felt like
Speaker 2: a weird Yeah, I don't love that fun fact that
Speaker 2: like didn't make sense, but he was wowed by it
Speaker 2: and acting he was acting as if think about that.
Speaker 2: We think that what we say to one person doesn't matter,
Speaker 2: but that one thing you say about one person really
Speaker 2: affects a billion people.
Speaker 1: I think was he trying to be like introspective and
Speaker 1: like kind of like.
Speaker 2: And if that is some legit fun fact quote from
Speaker 2: a really wise person, then ignore me.
Speaker 1: You can still not like it.
Speaker 2: I just didn't like it. Well, no, not someone's like
Speaker 2: generally speaking a lot wiser than me, and they have
Speaker 2: a lot of wise things to say, or it's some
Speaker 2: brilliant quote from somewhere, like I don't want to bag
Speaker 2: on it. I just don't think that's what he should
Speaker 2: have put as his voice memo text as this like
Speaker 2: really profound thing of like his impact on humanity.
Speaker 1: Okay, was he cute? Was there other things about his
Speaker 1: profile that? Yeah?
Speaker 2: But to me, at that moment, we are done, I don't.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're tough. Well, it wasn't even my profile.
Speaker 1: It's hurt.
Speaker 4: So it's easier to just be like, oh x x x.
Speaker 2: I can't remember we looked at again fifty so I
Speaker 2: can't tell you the other things said he had about him.
Speaker 2: There are some guys I can tell you that had
Speaker 2: the mirror selfies at the gym where and they are
Speaker 2: flexing and they pull their shorts up and they flex
Speaker 2: their legs. No automatic no no or automatic no for me,
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just the.
Speaker 1: Reason I don't like that, Well, it's not my style.
Speaker 1: But I also don't like that because in general, so
Speaker 1: what what about all the pictures in your life that
Speaker 1: you have, is that the one that you want to
Speaker 1: put on there? Because you have to think about, like
Speaker 1: what you get? What five four or five pictures? What
Speaker 1: do I want these? What do I want the people
Speaker 1: in my looking at my profile to see? And that's
Speaker 1: what they want you to They want to you to
Speaker 1: see their physical body specifically. It's fine to take a picture.
Speaker 1: You can take a picture in a gym, you can
Speaker 1: take a picture at a workout. You can take a
Speaker 1: picture doing something athletic. That because that shows something about you.
Speaker 1: So that's what I don't like that, which is fine
Speaker 1: for them if that's also what they're looking for. But
Speaker 1: my thing is, if that's what you want me to see,
Speaker 1: then we're probably not compatible because I don't want to
Speaker 1: see them about Like, I don't want that to be
Speaker 1: the thing that grabs you about me, and I don't
Speaker 1: want that to be the thing that you're looking for
Speaker 1: in me either.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure this guy that is, yeah, someone that
Speaker 2: will flex their quads with him.
Speaker 1: God, well, at least wasn't in his underwear. I've had
Speaker 1: I've come across me or selfies of guys in their.
Speaker 5: Little panties like white ties, yes tight, which should be
Speaker 5: if not allowed on that right, it's like kind of
Speaker 5: nudity I mean, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I'm just a little more welsome.
Speaker 2: But if a girl's in there in her bikini or
Speaker 2: a guy is an espedo, Okay, okay, that's fair, that's fair,
Speaker 2: But like in your bathroom and your I get it.
Speaker 1: It just felt like in like, oh I didn't see
Speaker 1: I mean to see that.
Speaker 2: I definitely felt after looking at her fifty and ex
Speaker 2: them all out, like we're about like she's I'm forty five,
Speaker 2: she's about to turn fifty, and we're like, are we
Speaker 2: just going to be alone forever? And she told me
Speaker 2: that she has another friend that like she's doing the
Speaker 2: Golden Girls thing with if like they don't end up married,
Speaker 2: like they're going to live together.
Speaker 1: At what age do you decide that, well, is.
Speaker 4: Now too young?
Speaker 1: Is it too young? You?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: Okay, so forty five is too young?
Speaker 2: But like at what age the Golden Girls were?
Speaker 4: What in they're when the show?
Speaker 2: In the show, they were sixty maybe were they sixty
Speaker 2: five because they were retired?
Speaker 1: I mean, I know, so I watched the Golden Girls.
Speaker 1: Would they all live together?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't know anything about them. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'd be open to watch it.
Speaker 4: Good.
Speaker 2: I think you would love it. Go back and watch
Speaker 2: some Golden Girls because it's such a good show. But
Speaker 2: they all they all live together. So they've had divorces, deaths,
Speaker 2: whatever has brought them together.
Speaker 4: They're all single and older.
Speaker 2: And so there's Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia and Sofia
Speaker 2: is Dorothy's.
Speaker 4: Mom, and they all four live together in Blanche's house.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So their characters were fifty three, fifty four,
Speaker 2: fifty five. Oh so I mean you are not that
Speaker 2: far off, yeah, because Sofia was eighty Okay.
Speaker 1: Okay, that okay, okay, But but hear me out. If
Speaker 1: you want to do that and you have a friend
Speaker 1: that wants to do that, I'm I will support you.
Speaker 1: What happens though, if one of you do start dating,
Speaker 1: because fifty three is not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they dated on the show a lot, especially Blanche.
Speaker 2: They bring the men home Blanche did. Okay, Blanche sounds
Speaker 2: like somebody who'd be dating. You know. She was a
Speaker 2: little promiscuous. Yes, I mean they all dated, don't get
Speaker 2: me wrong, but Blanche was Blanche, So are you are
Speaker 2: you really open to this?
Speaker 4: Well something she.
Speaker 2: Brought up and I thought, okay, that's a valid point,
Speaker 2: But what age do you implement that? It's sort of like, hey,
Speaker 2: if we're not with anybody with this age, we just
Speaker 2: get married like a guy and a girl or whoever
Speaker 2: in your life. And then this is sort of hey,
Speaker 2: if we're not, I'm divorced, she's divorced. For other friends, like,
Speaker 2: do we just bring everybody together and like have a
Speaker 2: good time and buy an awesome house?
Speaker 1: So you know people did this?
Speaker 2: Who?
Speaker 1: Uh? Seven girls in China? This was like a big story. Okay, guy,
Speaker 1: I did here. This was a big story on social
Speaker 1: media a while ago. So I don't know all the
Speaker 1: details from it, but it was seven girls bought put
Speaker 1: their money together and bought a mansion and made it
Speaker 1: into their dream house, and then they decided to live
Speaker 1: in it together. So it's not it's not like people
Speaker 1: don't do this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I mean we could do it.
Speaker 2: I'm just telling you things were looking pretty bleak last
Speaker 2: night on her profile.
Speaker 1: Okay, so are you out of handrit to make you
Speaker 1: not want to like be on?
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't have the desas after going through her page,
Speaker 2: I didn't have the desire. I'm just not going to
Speaker 2: I'm not ready for an app again. I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying I won't.
Speaker 4: I just don't have that desire. So I think I'm
Speaker 4: good right now.
Speaker 2: I can get the fix though it is kind of
Speaker 2: fun to go through, but I can get the fixed
Speaker 2: through her page. And then she was like, what if
Speaker 2: we see a guy that you end up liking but
Speaker 2: she's not a good fit for me, And she was like,
Speaker 2: we were talking about how we would handle that, and
Speaker 2: she said that she could send him a message saying,
Speaker 2: what's your phone number?
Speaker 4: I have a friend I want to set you up
Speaker 4: with or something.
Speaker 1: Did I tell you that some guy did that to me?
Speaker 1: Kind of when I was on the dating apps.
Speaker 3: I kind of hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: Oh what happened? Well, it wasn't that. It was not
Speaker 1: the scenario that your friend is saying. It is a
Speaker 1: guy matched with me and he's really cute, and he
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, not to be rude, but I'm really
Speaker 1: interested in your friend in your second picture.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's that's.
Speaker 1: Rough, and I think I've blocked him. But in hindsight,
Speaker 1: it was my my friend Torri. Was she single? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not at the time. Okay, she's not now, but
Speaker 1: I I think I showed. I'm pretty sure I showed
Speaker 1: it to her, and I don't. I also think she
Speaker 1: wasn't interested, but I also think it's because she was
Speaker 1: kind of dating somebody. But it did hurt my it
Speaker 1: was it shouldn't hurt. I mean, I guess it's okay
Speaker 1: to hurt my feelings. Feelings are valid, all of that.
Speaker 1: But I was like, oh, dang it, that's bold. I
Speaker 1: would never be like, oh, I'm not attracted to you,
Speaker 1: but your friend is really cute, you know, so I
Speaker 1: can see how that would mean. Beware, when you put
Speaker 1: attractive people in your dating that profile, they might, you know,
Speaker 1: get attention.
Speaker 2: I tried not to put other people because I didn't
Speaker 2: want it to be confusing. I don't like when they
Speaker 2: have groups of people and you can't tell who's who.
Speaker 1: Well, this is my advice. If you do decided dabble
Speaker 1: is a group photo. One is good because it shows
Speaker 1: it can show you like with community, or it can
Speaker 1: show you doing something like.
Speaker 4: I'm not a loser, like I have friends.
Speaker 1: I yeah, because also you don't you don't want all
Speaker 1: your pictures to be like selfies or individual shots, because
Speaker 1: then it's like, why does she have so many of them.
Speaker 4: Oh, I would just like crop myself.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like being able to see people doing It's
Speaker 1: not just like what you look like, it's also what
Speaker 1: does your life kind of look like? Got it? That
Speaker 1: makes sense?
Speaker 2: This is all.
Speaker 1: Information I would share with people if I ever start
Speaker 1: my dating service.
Speaker 2: That's right, because you may start helping people date, but
Speaker 2: you'd be a little matchmaker maybe Okay, the Golden Girls thing.
Speaker 2: Who knows if that's gonna actually happen. But we all
Speaker 2: do have girlfriends, and there are questions that you can
Speaker 2: ask your girlfriends. And this is something that I saw
Speaker 2: on Instagram from Lindsay Vanettin. It's her account and I
Speaker 2: loved it, so I pulled it. But she has or
Speaker 2: she recommends a yearly what the hell are we doing
Speaker 2: with our lives?
Speaker 4: Girls dinners? Girls dinner?
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, yeah, yearly, what the hell are we
Speaker 2: doing with our lives?
Speaker 4: Girls dinner?
Speaker 1: It's hard to say. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And once a year gathers close friends and they ask
Speaker 2: these specific questions to each other to figure out what
Speaker 2: the heck they have going on. So the questions that
Speaker 2: you can ask if you want to do this, everyone
Speaker 2: has to put their phones away by the way, So.
Speaker 4: It's like an intimate, it's an intentional intimate.
Speaker 1: What the heck are we doing with our lives? Dinner?
Speaker 4: First question?
Speaker 2: What do you want more of in your life right now?
Speaker 2: What are you currently tolerating that you know needs to change?
Speaker 2: What do you keep saying you'll do but haven't.
Speaker 1: Starting that matchmaking service?
Speaker 2: What do you actually want the next year of your
Speaker 2: life to look like? And then finally the last question,
Speaker 2: what would you go after if you knew every woman
Speaker 2: here had your back?
Speaker 1: That is a good one. I love that question. Okay,
Speaker 1: I kind of want to answer some of these. Can
Speaker 1: we have a girl dinner?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Han me your phone.
Speaker 1: I'll know where it is somewhere, don't I ivead? Okay,
Speaker 1: So the first one was what do you want more
Speaker 1: of in your life right now? Uh? Maybe some alone time? Wow?
Speaker 1: From you? Shoot? Do I want that? You must? You're
Speaker 1: saying it? I think I'm coming out right now? WHOA,
Speaker 1: you're slits.
Speaker 2: You're like you love being around people?
Speaker 1: No, I'm well, I'm more thinking like alone time. I
Speaker 1: don't wanted to be away from Patrick, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I would like more. I don't do things alone anymore,
Speaker 1: like ever since I got married, and before that, like
Speaker 1: I used to be very independent, I had to be,
Speaker 1: and now I don't like doing anything by myself. So
Speaker 1: I think I want to challenge myself to do more
Speaker 1: things alone, but I might not like it, and I
Speaker 1: have I request the right to change my mind about that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have that. Do you know what you would want?
Speaker 2: I think I need a little bit more opposite. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I need less alone time and more spontaneity. Maybe, Oh,
Speaker 2: that would be good for you with a guy.
Speaker 1: That you didn't be on the hinge? Right? Uh? And
Speaker 1: then what are you currently tolerting that it needs to change?
Speaker 1: I think that's probably more about stuff that I'm doing
Speaker 1: than other people, like behaviors that I am just like ignoring,
Speaker 1: like procrastinating or worrying, which I do have a weight
Speaker 1: to worry moment. We talked about that segment.
Speaker 4: Let's get into Yeah, we'll do am in a segment.
Speaker 2: We're interrupting this girl dinner for a weight to worry segment.
Speaker 1: It's a small one, but since we just talked about it,
Speaker 1: I thought we should bring it up so then more
Speaker 1: people can remember to send us their weight to worry moments.
Speaker 1: But the other day I was getting out of my
Speaker 1: car and I dropped a fork from lunch underneath my car.
Speaker 1: So I had a bunch of stuff in my hands.
Speaker 1: I had to bend down to get it, and seven
Speaker 1: and a half months pregnant, and so when I bent,
Speaker 1: I just felt like I squish.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, wait, are you gonna tell us you
Speaker 2: thought that you killed your baby again?
Speaker 1: I mean, first I Electroci did it, and now you've
Speaker 1: squished it.
Speaker 2: Why would she think?
Speaker 1: That's what where this is going? Okay, go ahead, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Are you laughing or crying? I'm laughing. I'm
Speaker 1: crying from laughing. I'm not like sad. No, no, you
Speaker 1: never know. Yeah, this is a wait to worry moment.
Speaker 1: So this is has a good ending.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So anyway that happened, I was like, oh, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have done that because it was like I was down
Speaker 1: under the car, you know, and I can barely tie
Speaker 1: my shoes these days. So anyway, I go carry on,
Speaker 1: I act normal, and then I can't sleep that night,
Speaker 1: to the point at about three point thirty four, I
Speaker 1: google if I bend over too far, can I squish
Speaker 1: my baby? And Google said no, that there's enough like
Speaker 1: fluid and stuff that she's fine. But also you can't
Speaker 1: trust Google all the time. And the reason again I
Speaker 1: was really worried is she's very active at night. Like
Speaker 1: last night, I couldn't sleep because she was very active.
Speaker 1: She was not being active. So I luckily had a
Speaker 1: doctor's appointment that morning and I did bring it up.
Speaker 1: They said, did you have any questions? And I said, okay,
Speaker 1: can I harm the baby by bending over and getting
Speaker 1: things out from under my car? And she I did
Speaker 1: bring her joy I think that day and she said, no,
Speaker 1: you're fine, and then we listened to the heartbeat. So
Speaker 1: everything was fine. And I should have waited to worry, right,
Speaker 1: So just anybody who's pregnant, you can bend and squish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I'm like, maybe she's fine, but like, is it
Speaker 1: uncomfortable for her too, because I also don't want to
Speaker 1: hurt her. Yeah, she's like, oh, what's happening? Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I didn't like that. Like sometimes when I'm turning in
Speaker 1: the night like to get comfortable, I'm like, I hope
Speaker 1: that she's not bothered by this. Then I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: bothering me, right, Yeah, so there we go.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait to worry. Wait to worry, you have nothing
Speaker 2: to worry about. She was fine, Yeah, okay, what do
Speaker 2: you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't? What
Speaker 2: do you keep saying that you'll do but you haven't?
Speaker 1: Well that goes to the question I just answered if like,
Speaker 1: that's what I you mean, stop worrying? No, the what
Speaker 1: do you cook currently currently tolerating that you know needs
Speaker 1: a change, And it's I'm tolerating my own procrastination.
Speaker 2: Oh I thought you also said to your some of
Speaker 2: your anxiety. Oh yeah, I would like, because like you're worried.
Speaker 1: Yeah, both of those things. What do I keep saying
Speaker 1: that I'll do but I haven't done?
Speaker 4: I have that invention that I want to make really bad?
Speaker 1: Which one though?
Speaker 4: The for the head?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That one? I know.
Speaker 4: I have a few ideas that come to me and
Speaker 4: it's just finding the time.
Speaker 2: And then I say to myself, well, I guess I
Speaker 2: don't want it bad enough because other people stay up
Speaker 2: all night building their dreams and I'm going to bed.
Speaker 2: So do I not want it as much as the
Speaker 2: person that's staying up all night?
Speaker 1: It doesn't really excite you that much? Maybe not?
Speaker 4: So maybe we're just not there yet.
Speaker 2: Maybe it will one day, but right now I'd rather
Speaker 2: take my shower and go to bed. But one thing
Speaker 2: I do procrastinate a lot is getting in the shower.
Speaker 1: Which blows my mind because I love love.
Speaker 4: I love taking a shower too. Once I get in,
Speaker 4: I don't want to get out.
Speaker 1: But like I struggle.
Speaker 2: It's because it's not just like, oh, go take a shower.
Speaker 2: It's like, Okay, I gotta go do my wipes to
Speaker 2: because I double cleanse on my face, but I don't
Speaker 2: with soap. I do that water my cellular water. So
Speaker 2: I have to step one of my shower is I
Speaker 2: do that on my face, my neck, and my chest
Speaker 2: because I've got sunscreen on all of that.
Speaker 4: And so that's ZEP one.
Speaker 2: Two.
Speaker 4: Turn on the shower to put on my shower cap.
Speaker 2: Get in the shower, do my glycolic acid body wash
Speaker 2: with my African rag scrub thing.
Speaker 4: Just gotten my skin really smooth.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you the combo for rough skin, Like
Speaker 2: I had some bumps under my arms and bumps on
Speaker 2: the side of my legs. Glycolic acid body wash with
Speaker 2: one of those African cloths.
Speaker 1: Just google it. So what if you didn't have to
Speaker 1: take everything shower every time you shower.
Speaker 2: It's not everything though, that's not everything shower and everything
Speaker 2: shower is shampoo, conditioner, shaving.
Speaker 1: This is just body wash, okay, well and your face
Speaker 1: and then turn it on. The shower was a step
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 3: It's a step.
Speaker 2: We have to wait for it to get the right temperature.
Speaker 2: Then I do my I normally brush my teeth in
Speaker 2: the shower. That's probably one of the more of the
Speaker 2: first things.
Speaker 1: That I do is that weird. Do you have tooth toothbrushes? No,
Speaker 1: I just take it with me. I would forget it
Speaker 1: and then I would be annoyed.
Speaker 4: But it's right there.
Speaker 1: It's your shower. Really far when you have to like
Speaker 1: get out of the show. Like sometimes I forget my
Speaker 1: face washed, so I got two face washes. You do
Speaker 1: have the shower and then you drip water everywhere.
Speaker 2: I have a window ledge that sometimes I'll lay it
Speaker 2: on the ledge and that's reachable without from any point
Speaker 2: of the Like if I was putting it where my
Speaker 2: shampoo and stuff is, that would be a little bit
Speaker 2: around the corner to the window ledge. That does me
Speaker 2: a solid.
Speaker 1: So I get that.
Speaker 2: So brushing my teeth then then you get out of
Speaker 2: the shower and you have to pat dry. Then you
Speaker 2: have to start your lotion routine and your fit what
Speaker 2: you don't have to yes, I do?
Speaker 1: Okay, Well have you seen.
Speaker 4: My dry skin?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, forty five year old me is mad at thirty
Speaker 2: year old me.
Speaker 1: So I should be doing that every time. But I
Speaker 1: guess my thought is maybe if that overwhelms you sometimes
Speaker 1: so you don't want to do it. Sometimes you just
Speaker 1: are like, well I don't have to do every step.
Speaker 2: No, all of the steps I just named you must
Speaker 2: be done, okay, forget that, Like that's not gonna be
Speaker 2: Why would I? Even then my brain is like, why
Speaker 2: would I If you're not going to do it right?
Speaker 1: Why would I? Why would I get a shower right,
Speaker 1: don't do it all? Why would I go back to.
Speaker 2: The way I used to be where I would get
Speaker 2: out of the shower and not put lotion on.
Speaker 1: Yep, I used to do that. Well I think I
Speaker 1: do that, I know. But see, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: You're not in your forties yet.
Speaker 2: You think your you think your skin's like which your
Speaker 2: skin is different than mine already, Like you already have
Speaker 2: more olive like plump, juicy good skin.
Speaker 4: Mine's not. Mine's creepy thin.
Speaker 2: And and then if it's a self candy, oh gosh
Speaker 2: ay yeah yeah, Okay, so you're gonna are you gonna
Speaker 2: take more showers right now?
Speaker 1: I still do it.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying that's the thing I procrastinate.
Speaker 2: And if I didn't procrastinate, then I would be my
Speaker 2: shower would already be done.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But instead I'll sit in my room and like put
Speaker 2: other things away or wait till, like, say, I go
Speaker 2: up to my room at nine pm to shower and
Speaker 2: then get in bed.
Speaker 4: Well it'll be nine.
Speaker 2: Thirty because I don't want to go do all those steps.
Speaker 2: I'll find other things to do. Yeah, and then that's
Speaker 2: just like what I could already be done.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well I'm gonna hold you to do this. You
Speaker 1: gonna like my shower routine? Huh, No, I do. I
Speaker 1: was trying to be helpful.
Speaker 4: You know what I saw some girls do.
Speaker 2: They were probably having a little girl dinner or get together,
Speaker 2: and they all film themselves.
Speaker 1: They were fully clothed.
Speaker 2: This popped up on my This is probably what I
Speaker 2: was watching on Instagram as I was procrastinating taking a shower.
Speaker 2: But they all demonstrate how they towel off when they
Speaker 2: get out of the shower, and so they had a towel.
Speaker 2: Again they're clothed, but it was like, Okay, here's the towel.
Speaker 3: What do you do?
Speaker 1: And they each have a different routine.
Speaker 2: Like some girls start with their arms, others start with
Speaker 2: drawing off their legs, others like drape it around this way,
Speaker 2: and how they do their hair towel, Like everybody had
Speaker 2: a different method.
Speaker 1: Do you dry off before you get out?
Speaker 2: Well, I have to get out to get my towel
Speaker 2: and then sometimes I'll step back in. But you know
Speaker 2: how my shower, I don't have a shower door. I
Speaker 2: just have a glass that.
Speaker 4: Kind of just has an opening.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So'm I had a roommate in college. I love her.
Speaker 1: She's a wonderful person. But we always would laugh because
Speaker 1: she would get out of the shower every single time,
Speaker 1: completely soaking wet, and then go like find her towel.
Speaker 1: I mean, we had like an inch of water on
Speaker 1: our floor every time she got out the show. But
Speaker 1: she just like she couldn't change her behavior no matter
Speaker 1: how many times we were like laughing about and sometimes
Speaker 1: it was annoying, but mostly it was just funny, but
Speaker 1: she just couldn't get like, I'm like what, but but
Speaker 1: you could just do it in there. You could just
Speaker 1: take the towel and then you don't get cold. It's
Speaker 1: not what she wanted anyway.
Speaker 2: Well, before we move off our shower body talk, I
Speaker 2: will say another thing that I've been putting on my
Speaker 2: skin with the lotion that I'm putting on at night
Speaker 2: is a has retinol in it. And I think I
Speaker 2: got what's that brand, like Martha's Choice or Mary's Choice
Speaker 2: or you know, I don't know Cindy's Choice. It's like
Speaker 2: a good girl's name and a choice. I think you
Speaker 2: can get it at Target. I think I ordered on Amazon.
Speaker 2: I've liked it, but I'm running out a lot faster,
Speaker 2: Like the bottle wasn't as big as I thought. So
Speaker 2: I saw a dermatologist pop up on my feet and
Speaker 2: said that the gold Bond one was really good with retinol.
Speaker 2: Maybe Survey has one, so I'm gonna do some shopping
Speaker 2: for that. But that's what I've been putting on and
Speaker 2: my skin is between the glycolic acid body wash and
Speaker 2: the African scrubber thing and the retinal lotion. My skin
Speaker 2: is getting smoother, and I've been consistent and when you
Speaker 2: see results, you don't want to quit. So that's why
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna give my routine.
Speaker 1: That's okay. I was just trying to help you. But
Speaker 1: if you if it's working for you, that's fine. I
Speaker 1: just had a thought, would this be weird if you
Speaker 1: sent me your shower routine and I put it in
Speaker 1: the newsletter with the products.
Speaker 2: That you use.
Speaker 1: Sure? I think that's hard for people to hear that
Speaker 1: and remember.
Speaker 2: So if you, yeah, I'll send it to you and
Speaker 2: put it in the newsletter.
Speaker 4: Because it has helped my bumps.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will say.
Speaker 2: It's like the bumps were there, and I was like,
Speaker 2: is this even working?
Speaker 4: Is this even working?
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I still feel the bumps, And then one
Speaker 2: day you're just like this is working.
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't feel the bumps.
Speaker 4: So you got to give it a minute.
Speaker 2: But just stay the course, the core and ill everything
Speaker 2: that I started to do.
Speaker 1: It was a.
Speaker 4: From repetition of seeing different dermatologists.
Speaker 2: In my feed and not just one multiple saying this
Speaker 2: type of body wash, this type of lotion, and not
Speaker 2: just one particular brand, just the ingredients that are in.
Speaker 4: XYZ body washing xyz lotion. So that's why I'm also
Speaker 4: kind of sampling, like, Okay, I tried this round, and
Speaker 4: next round, I'll go buy a different brand to see
Speaker 4: if it lasts me longer or the price point. And
Speaker 4: that's what I love too about.
Speaker 2: Some of these dermatologists that I'm following, is they're like, guys,
Speaker 2: this is like drugstore stuff, Like you can find this
Speaker 2: anything crazy. You don't need to be spending a ton
Speaker 2: of money. Like if this is your problem, this is
Speaker 2: your solution. And I'm like, okay, thank you, Well send
Speaker 2: me that because that could be riveting stuff, I know, and.
Speaker 1: Then it's going to make more people sign up for
Speaker 1: our newsletter. Yes, you can do that by going to
Speaker 1: the link in our show notes.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, this show that you're listening to right now, Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what do you actually want the next year
Speaker 1: of your life to look like? That is a I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm prepared for that one, but I
Speaker 1: want it to.
Speaker 2: Look like, yeah, a baby, you're gonna have a baby.
Speaker 2: Yours is gonna be full of all kinds of new things.
Speaker 1: But I want it to look still full and full
Speaker 1: in a different way because we are getting closer. And
Speaker 1: what I always thought about people who were pregnant, as
Speaker 1: I always was like, I bet they just like want
Speaker 1: that baby to stay in there because like as soon
Speaker 1: as it comes out, like their life is just completely changed.
Speaker 1: And kind of like sometimes I would be like, my
Speaker 1: life's kind of over like as they know it, which
Speaker 1: it is. But now I'm pregnant, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't wait for this baby to come out, actually, and
Speaker 1: I want because our life will be different. We won't
Speaker 1: be traveling as much, we won't be able to just
Speaker 1: go out and do things when like because I'm older
Speaker 1: having my first child, I think myself is older having
Speaker 1: my first child. I'm thirty six. I think it might
Speaker 1: be a little harder for me to adjust because I've
Speaker 1: lived so much of my adult life doing whatever I want,
Speaker 1: whenever I want it. So I hope my life still
Speaker 1: looks full, but just in a different way, you know.
Speaker 1: And it will.
Speaker 4: And I'm excited for her to come out.
Speaker 2: I want to meet her, and it makes me to
Speaker 2: you know, I've always wanted one inside of me, and
Speaker 2: I don't know that I'll ever get that, and that's fine,
Speaker 2: but it does make me like I have no idea
Speaker 2: what it feels like to like, I feel like you
Speaker 2: squashed a baby.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, it feels really weird. I asked Patrick
Speaker 1: if he would give birth if he was able to,
Speaker 1: and what do you say? He said he would be
Speaker 1: interested in feeling what it's like for a day, but
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to do.
Speaker 3: It, right, cool.
Speaker 2: I think for the next year of my life, just
Speaker 2: have more parties.
Speaker 1: What kind of party?
Speaker 4: I don't know, like a barbecue.
Speaker 1: It's really deep question at our girl dinner and it's like,
Speaker 1: what do you want the next year of your life
Speaker 1: to look like? And Amy's like, I'm just like really
Speaker 1: wanting to have more barbecues.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like have people oh for have I ever had
Speaker 2: a barbecue?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Well when I was married, right, But that's what I think.
Speaker 2: And I was talking to another friend about this just
Speaker 2: this week about if is it is it because I
Speaker 2: don't have a partner, or is it because I want
Speaker 2: to do some work in my yard and change some
Speaker 2: things to make my backyard a little more inviting and
Speaker 2: like things to do, like to where you want to
Speaker 2: sit out.
Speaker 1: There and gather and barbecue?
Speaker 4: Yeah, party friendly?
Speaker 1: And I.
Speaker 4: And is it is it that my I don't feel
Speaker 4: like my backyard welcomes that.
Speaker 2: Or is it that I don't have a partner that
Speaker 2: helps with putting on something like that, because I had
Speaker 2: people over a lot when we lived in North Carolina.
Speaker 4: When we lived in East Nashville.
Speaker 2: It probably changed once, like after COVID just things ever
Speaker 2: got back to kind of that.
Speaker 4: But we would host all kinds.
Speaker 1: We would have people over.
Speaker 2: It would be even last minute and we'd have thirty
Speaker 2: people at our house and he would grill and everybody
Speaker 2: would just bring aside. I would make a big thing
Speaker 2: a kso and everybody would like, come over.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm down for I would love for you to
Speaker 1: have more parties, although I am trying to have more
Speaker 1: alone time, so I might not come.
Speaker 2: You'll come and you bring the baby, I'll come.
Speaker 1: You're good, okay, But you've had a couple of small
Speaker 1: gatherings half I.
Speaker 2: A baby shower is different. That's like a planned function.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about a spontaneous like Saturday.
Speaker 4: Hey, let's all.
Speaker 2: Hang okay, Okay, yeah, it's a no reason party.
Speaker 1: I want you to have these and you could be
Speaker 1: like I'm having a barbecue invite whoever, guess who might show.
Speaker 2: Up a friend of a friend of a friend who's single.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So the final question at the what the hell are
Speaker 2: we doing with our lives? Girl, Girl's dinner? What would
Speaker 2: you go after if you knew every woman here had
Speaker 2: your back? My invention? You think I'm just kidding, but
Speaker 2: if everybody, if everybody had my back and they want
Speaker 2: to help me sell it and sell it.
Speaker 1: Maybe then maybe it would be I thought of that
Speaker 1: question differently. I thought of like what confrontation would I have?
Speaker 2: How versus like half your back and like a big
Speaker 2: bold movie, what would I do?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: I was seeing like a career move, Like I've been
Speaker 2: working on my keynote, Like am I going to finally
Speaker 2: like try to go out there?
Speaker 4: If I know I've got like you and we.
Speaker 1: Would all support you and go and like yes, have
Speaker 1: a sign. Mm hmm okay, well maybe that is that
Speaker 1: what you want to go with your keynote. You're gonna
Speaker 1: do it anyway.
Speaker 2: What would you go after if every woman here had
Speaker 2: your back? I mean, I'm gonna do that anyway. So
Speaker 2: I guess that's not a fair because like I am going,
Speaker 2: So it's more of challenging yourself of what are you
Speaker 2: not doing that you've always wanted to do?
Speaker 1: But if you had support, you would do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is kind of hard because I do feel like
Speaker 1: I have support.
Speaker 4: So who do you need to confront?
Speaker 1: Like, we got your back? What's up? I don't think
Speaker 1: I I have some. But that's just where my brain
Speaker 1: went when they said, like, have your back.
Speaker 2: I know, but that makes me think there is someone
Speaker 2: in your brain that you're looking to like confront.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, there's a lot of people I would confront,
Speaker 1: but it's not worth it. Okay, you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things in my head that I keep there
Speaker 1: because there wouldn't be Maybe I need to confront the
Speaker 1: girl that cut my hair lopsided twenty years ago. I
Speaker 1: think you can let that one go.
Speaker 2: I am shocked that you didn't ask her how long
Speaker 2: she was going to be gone.
Speaker 1: I think I just thought she was going to a party,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you have a baby, so surely
Speaker 1: you won't be there that long.
Speaker 4: So like, how did you? I mean, yeah, like what
Speaker 4: did the baby go to bed?
Speaker 1: I remember this is so long ago. I remember trying
Speaker 1: to put because she brought out like a pack and
Speaker 1: play he wouldn't sleep or exlept for like ten minutes.
Speaker 1: Then I remember him me like holding him on my chest.
Speaker 1: And then I remember going down to my parents' room
Speaker 1: being like mom, because that was at my parents over
Speaker 1: Christmas break and I was like, Mom, the baby won't
Speaker 1: go to sleep. It's crying. And she was like, that's
Speaker 1: what babies do, and so I went back upstairs. I
Speaker 1: think I probably cried. I didn't know how to soothe
Speaker 1: the baby. I was probably I probably was nineteen years old. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully we'll do better. Yeah, you'll do better. You'll figure out.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what I would do if I
Speaker 1: if every woman had my back, Maybe I would do
Speaker 1: something crazy like I would start the date, the dating
Speaker 1: the map. But I kind of want to work less,
Speaker 1: so that's also what my I want my This goes
Speaker 1: back to another question, like I want my life to
Speaker 1: look different, like full in a different way. I've been
Speaker 1: slowly changing the way that I work and being okay
Speaker 1: with filling my life up with other things other than
Speaker 1: just working.
Speaker 4: Because you were working so much for so long.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I before I knew we actually was probably when
Speaker 1: I first met you.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: When did I meet you?
Speaker 4: At twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it was right before then when I was
Speaker 1: I was, I was pre COVID though, yes, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was teaching then. This was that I was teaching
Speaker 1: ten to twelve cycling classes a week, plus, I was
Speaker 1: seeing twenty to thirty clients a week plus, I was
Speaker 1: doing group therapy, plus I was streating a podcast like
Speaker 1: I sometimes would work from five thirty to eight or nine.
Speaker 1: But it felt fulfilling to me, like I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't dread it like I was busy, but it felt
Speaker 1: really fulfilling. But slowly, as my life has shifted, other
Speaker 1: things are filling me up. And so I'm moving some
Speaker 1: things out of the way. Yeah, you're full.
Speaker 2: Looks different and which, Yeah, you are making some shifts
Speaker 2: and work. Which I speaking of you being a therapist,
Speaker 2: I have questions that don't come up. Yes, do you
Speaker 2: ever lie about what you do to avoid having to
Speaker 2: use your profession? Like say someone sits down next to
Speaker 2: you on an airplane and it's a long flight and
Speaker 2: they may end up wanting therapy advice if they're like, hey,
Speaker 2: what do you do and you're like, I'm a therapist.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you ever just say oh, I work in.
Speaker 1: Mental health. I work with people.
Speaker 2: I work with people, So you could say there was
Speaker 2: a point in your life you could be like, I'm
Speaker 2: miss an instructor and leave it upon.
Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, so I was gonna say, first of all,
Speaker 1: I hope I'm an airplane. Nobody does that, especially a
Speaker 1: long flight. You mean I do not like talking to
Speaker 1: people on an airplane.
Speaker 2: You mean ask you what you do or would ask
Speaker 2: you for advice, but learning what you do?
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh for sure both. I think I have learned
Speaker 1: to be careful. Yeah, how I say what I do?
Speaker 1: I stopped when I was on the dating apps. I
Speaker 1: took it off my profile. I said I was a
Speaker 1: business owner, and then if I went on a date
Speaker 1: with them, then I would probably tell them like Patrick
Speaker 1: had no idea what I did before we met.
Speaker 4: Okay, so why did you have to do that?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like it would either deter people or
Speaker 1: it would attract people just because of my job, and
Speaker 1: I was getting I was how do I say this?
Speaker 1: I feel like there was a lot of instability in
Speaker 1: some of the people I was going on dates with,
Speaker 1: and I felt very often that they just needed to talk.
Speaker 1: Like one date, one of the last two of the
Speaker 1: worst dates I've ever been on were the two dates
Speaker 1: before I met Patrick. They're on the same weekend. I
Speaker 1: was really going for it, and the first one a
Speaker 1: very nice guy, and I got his beginning birth to
Speaker 1: where he was that day, detail of his life, his
Speaker 1: mental health journey, the treatment he has gone through, the
Speaker 1: therapy he has done, the people he has had in
Speaker 1: and out of his life, all everything. What do you
Speaker 1: think he knew about me? Nothing? Not a thing. So
Speaker 1: when this man went to the bathroom, I got the
Speaker 1: check and paid for it and I gotta go. Oh,
Speaker 1: I said it nicely.
Speaker 2: He also he came back from the bathroom and you
Speaker 2: were like, Bill's pay Yeah, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1: He said get back for the bathroom and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I paid it, and he was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you didn't have to do that. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't mind. But I was like, we will be
Speaker 1: here forever if he's going to pay this bill. And
Speaker 1: we went and had like a full meal. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: I honestly was like, I don't care. I will pay
Speaker 1: for this to get out. I have a lot of
Speaker 1: compassion for him because he has a like tough story,
Speaker 1: and I was on a date. Like I was on
Speaker 1: a date, I wanted something to be interested in me,
Speaker 1: and I think he was interested in what it felt like.
Speaker 1: He was interested in what I could do for him. Okay,
Speaker 1: got it. The next day I had gone a date
Speaker 1: with a guy who was also in the same well
Speaker 1: I'll say this. He was studying to be a therapist.
Speaker 1: So I had never I've never wanted to date a
Speaker 1: therapist because I feel like that's like a lot, Yeah,
Speaker 1: to date a therapist. Yes, and I'm a therapist. I
Speaker 1: just feel like it's a lot like.
Speaker 2: Some people might think that about me, you know, Yes,
Speaker 2: which also is.
Speaker 1: Why I took it off, because I'm like, I think
Speaker 1: some people, before they get to know me, they have
Speaker 1: this preconceived idea of what I'm going to be like.
Speaker 1: So I go on the state with this guy and
Speaker 1: it lasts maybe thirty five minutes. It was probably one of.
Speaker 4: The shortest dates I've ever been thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1: Is that a record for me? Yes, because usually I
Speaker 1: feel kind of guilty leaving that early, so I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'll drag it on. But he had he he was
Speaker 1: previously married. Again, This is another situation where he knew
Speaker 1: nothing about me after we left this date, but I
Speaker 1: knew very intimate details about his life, including why he
Speaker 1: got divorced. I don't even know if I can say it.
Speaker 4: Well, why wait, it's not hippa, I know.
Speaker 1: But it's my it's a little inappropriate, okay with little ears?
Speaker 1: Oh what so so you' me to whisper it?
Speaker 2: Well, let me see give it to me in code
Speaker 2: and then i'll see how how could you tell me
Speaker 2: as your friend?
Speaker 1: I'll just say it and if we need to edit
Speaker 1: it out, we can. Okay, he had I want to
Speaker 1: do it. This is a game. Okay, this is a game.
Speaker 1: He what you tell me in the most he?
Speaker 4: Okay, he walked in?
Speaker 1: Oh he.
Speaker 4: He he he's a cross dresser.
Speaker 3: Wait did he.
Speaker 4: He walked in on his wife?
Speaker 2: Uh huh he walked in on his wife having a
Speaker 2: relationship with somebody else?
Speaker 1: Oh another woman? Oh wow?
Speaker 4: So he multiple people? Oh a wow?
Speaker 1: Okay, so that was really good.
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, once I got past that, you weren't
Speaker 2: trying to do that he was like cross dressing.
Speaker 1: I would have been fine.
Speaker 2: Honestly, It's like I so he that was his extreme variance?
Speaker 2: Was he was married and then walked down on his
Speaker 2: wife in a situation with multiple people.
Speaker 1: Which is fine, I mean not fine, but like that's
Speaker 1: not his fault. And this was in the he told
Speaker 1: me this within the Our date was thirty five minutes,
Speaker 1: so I was just curious, why is this the beginning
Speaker 1: of our date? Right? But how does it end in
Speaker 1: thirty five minutes? So we went to a brewery and
Speaker 1: I don't like beer.
Speaker 2: Iyall in through a drive throughout, but also we sat.
Speaker 1: We sat at the bar, and I hate on first
Speaker 1: dates sitting at the bar when they're small bars, because
Speaker 1: then the bartenders can hear you, you know, yeah, they
Speaker 1: like they're like they're on a first date. And I
Speaker 1: could only imagine what these bartenders were thinking because I'm
Speaker 1: sitting there being like, oh, that's that must have been
Speaker 1: really hard. I think what it was. It's not that
Speaker 1: like that happened to him and he's shared that with me.
Speaker 1: It's that I don't know you yet to know these
Speaker 1: intimate details of your life. But because I'm a therapist,
Speaker 1: my assumption is they think that I'm okay with it,
Speaker 1: but I want to be treated like anybody else where.
Speaker 1: You're like, tell me about where you grew up or
Speaker 1: literally what do you do for a living like, and
Speaker 1: then I could say I'm a spin instructor and we
Speaker 1: could talk about that. So I think that's what really
Speaker 1: bothered me about those situations and this guy. We were
Speaker 1: not a fit. So how did it end? I think
Speaker 1: we had. I drank a beer, which I wouldn't normally do,
Speaker 1: and then I think I said like, okay, well we
Speaker 1: can get the check because I wasn't going to have
Speaker 1: another one. I think the bartender asked you one another
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, we'll take the check, and
Speaker 1: then we left. I don't think he was having a
Speaker 1: good time either. Okay, So I mean we never talked
Speaker 1: again after that. But also can you imagine this is
Speaker 1: also my thought is like, and maybe I'm just a
Speaker 1: little slower to open up, but can you imagine going on?
Speaker 1: I mean, he's dating on the dating apps, he's going
Speaker 1: on multiple dates. Do you share this with everybody and
Speaker 1: then you just never talk to them again? That is
Speaker 1: interesting to me. Yeah, So I hope he's found love.
Speaker 1: I don't think he was a bad guy. I just
Speaker 1: did this.
Speaker 2: It's a little cringe that he offered that up, like
Speaker 2: right away.
Speaker 1: Versus trying to know anything about me. So yes, I
Speaker 1: do not tell people, and I think towards the end
Speaker 1: of dating, I would start with that I teach fitness
Speaker 1: classes versus I'm a therapist.
Speaker 2: Therapist.
Speaker 4: Okay, that was a long.
Speaker 1: Way way to answer that question. I feel like you
Speaker 1: should answer that too, because.
Speaker 2: You know, because no one's gonna ask me for I
Speaker 2: was thinking the question doesn't come up because you on
Speaker 2: an airplane, Like I see that for like doctors, therapists,
Speaker 2: like financial advisors, like who can you sit next to
Speaker 2: that you can soak all this wisdom up from on
Speaker 2: a two hour flight? Yeah, and then get for like
Speaker 2: free advice, like oh if you learn you're sitting next
Speaker 2: to your doctor, you're like, oh man, so I have
Speaker 2: this like rash on my leg and then you start showing.
Speaker 1: And they're like, okay, well I will say this because
Speaker 1: I don't want it to come off this way for
Speaker 1: people in my life, like I don't mind them being
Speaker 1: like I want to pick your brain.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like for example, yesterday I said I was sharing
Speaker 2: something that you where I felt sad, and you listened
Speaker 2: as a friend, and then you get you texted me
Speaker 2: a response that was really helpful, and there was a
Speaker 2: normal person probably wouldn't say no.
Speaker 1: I think a normal person could.
Speaker 2: But I think it was your therapy background coming in
Speaker 2: because you were reminding me that feeling sad is good
Speaker 2: and it's giving me information. Yeah, and so it's okay
Speaker 2: to feel sad and to take the information that I'm
Speaker 2: getting from the feeling. And you wrote a little bit
Speaker 2: more and that I'm not going to disclose all of
Speaker 2: the details. It just was very helpful. But I do
Speaker 2: think it was like therapy side of you. Like if
Speaker 2: I was sitting in a session with you as a
Speaker 2: paying client, I think I would say said, well, this
Speaker 2: happened to me and I'm feeling sad, and you would
Speaker 2: have given a similar response. I do think any friend
Speaker 2: could have said that if therapy is not their job,
Speaker 2: but you delivered it in a way that's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: you helped me through that moment and I wasn't.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't using you for that because you also
Speaker 1: that's not like what our friendship is based off of. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And if somebody like needed if somebody in my life
Speaker 1: or my family had like a crisis and needed help
Speaker 1: figuring something out that I could help, I would want
Speaker 1: to help them with that. I wouldn't be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you just started calling me some a therapist, and yeah,
Speaker 1: they would they are calling me because I'm a therapist.
Speaker 1: But also, this is what people do for each other.
Speaker 1: It's just when you, yeah, when you don't know them specifically.
Speaker 1: For me, it's more so not if the guy on
Speaker 1: the airplane's going to be like, oh, well, so me
Speaker 1: and my wife have been fighting about blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: It's it was more so I don't want people to
Speaker 1: attack to me for that that person I would never
Speaker 1: see again, so it'd be annoying. But whatever versus you
Speaker 1: only want to be my friend because you can get
Speaker 1: something out of me. But that could be for anybody
Speaker 1: who has any job, like you were saying for you too,
Speaker 1: Like somebody's like, oh, you're on the radio, you want
Speaker 1: to hear my song? I'd like, well, I'm.
Speaker 2: I mean, I always struggle with what to say. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't. Sometimes I just say like,
Speaker 2: I'm in media, like I don't, I don't.
Speaker 4: Ever what weird? Sometimes I say, yeah, I work in radio. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I work in media.
Speaker 2: Oh and if they ask more questions, then I can
Speaker 2: give more answers, but I'm not.
Speaker 1: Like, do mey send you a link to my show? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like that. It's like that, and it's like this.
Speaker 1: Is that a song? It's like this and like that
Speaker 1: and like this, Sena, who is that?
Speaker 2: Who is that? I don't know?
Speaker 1: That's how in my it's like this and like that
Speaker 1: and you don't know that's huh. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Just sometimes you know, when you have a saying and
Speaker 2: then a song pops into your head, it's like this
Speaker 2: and like that, like this, n A, is that cringe?
Speaker 1: Because I will?
Speaker 2: I can close with six rules to avoid being cringe.
Speaker 1: We need those.
Speaker 2: Just make sure anybody that's listening to the podcast you
Speaker 2: don't do any of these six things, because our listeners
Speaker 2: are not cringe and neither are we, so we have
Speaker 2: to avoid these as well. One use the speakerphone in public.
Speaker 2: Two comment on someone else's weight gain or weight loss.
Speaker 2: Three call someone more than twice in a row.
Speaker 1: Well, well there, we need to get a hold of somebody.
Speaker 2: Four show up uninvited or without notice. I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't mind a little poppin. Five get on the elevator
Speaker 2: before allowing people.
Speaker 1: To get off. First, that's actually cringeing.
Speaker 2: Six scroll through someone's photos if they hand you their phone,
Speaker 2: why would you do that?
Speaker 4: I don't know, that's cringe.
Speaker 2: Do you know the story of one time where Stevenson
Speaker 2: was handed a guy was doing work at my house
Speaker 2: and listened to the show and then wanted a picture
Speaker 2: with me. So the only other person at my house
Speaker 2: was Stevenson to take the picture. And Stevenson got his
Speaker 2: phone and Stevenson didn't click on his photos. It like
Speaker 2: just went to the guy's photos and then Stevenson's like,
Speaker 2: it's not on the camera, It's all on the camera.
Speaker 1: And then when.
Speaker 2: He left, because Stevenson saw photos he had taken of himself,
Speaker 2: like in his photo lug where he was like and
Speaker 2: we were like it was so embarrassing. I didn't I mean,
Speaker 2: it was not that long ago. This was a long
Speaker 2: time ago, but he was an adult. Who who held
Speaker 2: was who the man or Stevenson? He was maybe ten
Speaker 2: or eleven, and this was like handles Like, I didn't
Speaker 2: say anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't know when after where he left and Stevenson
Speaker 1: was like, this is.
Speaker 2: What well, I mean I went over and was trying
Speaker 2: to help him, so I don't even know if Stevenson noticed,
Speaker 2: like for sure, for sure, like these are what those
Speaker 2: kinds of pictures are? Oh you saw it, well, we
Speaker 2: saw it, but I don't think Steve, I mean Stevenson
Speaker 2: was laughing. I don't think he registered that. Like maybe
Speaker 2: this man took those for his his his you know,
Speaker 2: or his girlfriend or his wife.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: But there's like a mirror a sheet.
Speaker 1: That's critch Okay, So there you go.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 1: That's what's all. That's a good way to end.
Speaker 2: We got saw, she wrote. You can hit us up
Speaker 2: hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. You can
Speaker 2: send in your thoughts, emails, questions, stories for couch talks
Speaker 2: for sure, and then you can also call and leave
Speaker 2: us a voice out eight seven seven two o seven
Speaker 2: two o seven seven and.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We hope you have the day you
Speaker 1: need to.
Speaker 3: Bye bye bye