Speaker 1: This is cut to It with Steve Smith Senior at
Speaker 1: production of The Black Effect and I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: Steve Smith Senior and I'm a little John and this
Speaker 1: is cut to It. Good do it, Good do it.
Speaker 1: Let's getting down to do it. Good do it. We
Speaker 1: asked the questions you always want to know, but no
Speaker 1: one ever asked, let's cut to it. You ain't heard
Speaker 1: am about it, then we're about to let you know
Speaker 1: it's all coming up. On the cut to It podcast,
Speaker 1: we've got professional soccer player c J. S Pong, the
Speaker 1: MLS Rookie of the Year in eleven. He won an
Speaker 1: MLS Cup in and he's the co founder of the
Speaker 1: Black Players Coalition for MLS. C J Pong on the
Speaker 1: Cut to It podcast. This is Part two with c J.
Speaker 1: Say Pong on why the how soccer just about him
Speaker 1: and what he believes in and in and what he's
Speaker 1: experiencing in soccer. Part one was a lot about his
Speaker 1: h his past and what he experienced and what he
Speaker 1: learned about his his family, his community uh in Ghana.
Speaker 1: But then also now we're talking about his soccer career
Speaker 1: MLS and also too you're here, um what he desired,
Speaker 1: what he likes about soccer and how he wants to
Speaker 1: impact the soccer world. When everything you're going back and forth,
Speaker 1: you have so much heritage oozing out of your family,
Speaker 1: how does that impact you, like as a as a
Speaker 1: high schooler going to college, just really starting to form.
Speaker 1: You're in Virginia, you're kind of dealing with that. You're
Speaker 1: going back and forth every couple of summers, going to Ghana,
Speaker 1: dealing with that, you know, getting embraced and your friends
Speaker 1: and your family tribe, and then you go to Virginia
Speaker 1: and you're playing soccer and all that stuff. It had
Speaker 1: to be, you know, very confusing to switch like that
Speaker 1: so much and experience it's literally like hands and Tales
Speaker 1: of of life for a young man. Yep, yep, you're
Speaker 1: wearing different masks. You know, you're turning up the black situation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're turning down the black here, you're turning it up there.
Speaker 1: You're wondering who you are, bro. I didn't really find
Speaker 1: my true nature until probably my third year as a
Speaker 1: professional soccer player. When you say true nature, what are
Speaker 1: you pertaining to? True nature? True nature is my own
Speaker 1: understanding and awareness of my frequency, right like who I
Speaker 1: am and again not consistently robbing myself of who I
Speaker 1: am to make this person comfortable or to sound cool
Speaker 1: on this interview, or you know, like just I found
Speaker 1: myself from an early age, you know, from the first
Speaker 1: time I went to school and somebody made a comment
Speaker 1: about how dark I am compared to everybody else, you know,
Speaker 1: and and I remember my parents telling me I would
Speaker 1: always have to work twice as hard as simply because
Speaker 1: of that, you know, and that led to I mean,
Speaker 1: I I think I was fortunate that I didn't you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't want for nothing, Like most of the things
Speaker 1: that I asked for, I did get, um, but it
Speaker 1: was tough having that childhood uh mental construct just follow
Speaker 1: me up until you know, three years into the league,
Speaker 1: where again I had to go to a dark place
Speaker 1: where you know, we won a championship in my third
Speaker 1: year in the league, and that was like my dream.
Speaker 1: That was my goal, was to win a championship at
Speaker 1: the professional level. And I did it. And then the
Speaker 1: next month you right back at work and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do it again, and I'm like, damn, I
Speaker 1: didn't even really get to like let that ship marinate,
Speaker 1: Like we gotta do it again. All right, cool, let's
Speaker 1: do it. But then that season didn't go like everybody wanted.
Speaker 1: You know, I wasn't playing as much anymore. I got
Speaker 1: sent to our like minor league team, and and again
Speaker 1: it had me questioning the question that popped up at
Speaker 1: many moments in my life. But I always found something
Speaker 1: to hide it, found something to stifle it. It's like,
Speaker 1: who are you? What are you doing? You know? And
Speaker 1: this is even and this is still after being able
Speaker 1: to go to Africa. You know, I had that moment
Speaker 1: it was true and and ripe for a good you know,
Speaker 1: six months to a year. But then shoot you and
Speaker 1: a America. American life just takes over and it's keeping
Speaker 1: up with the jones is. It's looking cool, it's staying fresh,
Speaker 1: having new kicks. You know. It's like chasing, continuously chasing
Speaker 1: without Like you said, Hope, I don't even know what
Speaker 1: we're chasing for it sometimes, you know, whereas now when
Speaker 1: I say true nature, it's a complete understanding, not even
Speaker 1: just image wise of what I'm trying to create for myself,
Speaker 1: my family and this world, but innate feeling of what
Speaker 1: it's going to bring me. You know. That's what takes
Speaker 1: that to the next level is knowing that, you know,
Speaker 1: right now at the feeling that whether it's fifty sixty
Speaker 1: on a rocking chair, not because I ain't doing ship,
Speaker 1: but just because I'm taking a moment and and understanding
Speaker 1: that in that moment, I have so much to still
Speaker 1: live for, you know, And and that's a very empowering feeling,
Speaker 1: and it it empowers me every day. And I literally
Speaker 1: I got lots of hope, you know, like I got
Speaker 1: the the budget, the plans, the financial goals, all that's
Speaker 1: just you know, written up in documents. So that's that's
Speaker 1: helped me, you know, more centralized, the focus more in
Speaker 1: and now when I leave wherever my my place of
Speaker 1: dwelling is, at that moment, I walk into the day,
Speaker 1: and I walked into the world with my chest high
Speaker 1: and an excitement. Honestly, you go to James Madison University
Speaker 1: and you I read some stuff that that said that
Speaker 1: your decision to go to college was based on education,
Speaker 1: and I'm I kind of chuckled at that because then
Speaker 1: I look at some of the offers that you had
Speaker 1: University of Virginia that that ain't a school for dummies,
Speaker 1: you know, So to take us through that recruiting process
Speaker 1: of how how you came to that decision just to
Speaker 1: choose college, especially after you know what, all this stuff
Speaker 1: that you've experienced so far as a I don't want
Speaker 1: to say African American, African that happened to live in America. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the education was a plus, but mostly well one my
Speaker 1: college soccer coach, Uh, may he rest in peace, Tom
Speaker 1: Martin just past. But I owe a lot to this
Speaker 1: man because he told me from the job. Look, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna tell you you're gonna start. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: tell you you're sitting on the bench. What I will
Speaker 1: tell you is you have an opportunity to compete. That's
Speaker 1: all I wanted to hear. Virginia they said, yeah, yeah, Virginia.
Speaker 1: They said, oh, we're thinking by your junior year you'll start.
Speaker 1: Other schools were telling me, yeah, we're you know, I
Speaker 1: was a forward. I want to score goals. Other schools
Speaker 1: is telling me, now, you're gonna be a defender here, like, nah,
Speaker 1: don't tell me what you know, don't place parameters on me.
Speaker 1: Allow me to again find myself. And Massive university at
Speaker 1: the time was known for uh yes, they're still known
Speaker 1: for parties, so I know at the time, I'm like,
Speaker 1: they still don't know for parties. I went to community
Speaker 1: college and I had a partner go uh to James
Speaker 1: Madison for linement um there and he talked about it
Speaker 1: so much like bro like because he's from Cali, so
Speaker 1: it was a you know, it's a big step and
Speaker 1: he went out there. He said, oh, I ain't know
Speaker 1: it went down like that. Down it because here's why
Speaker 1: you got the rejects that can't go to Virginia and
Speaker 1: then you have Blacksburg. You got Virginia Tech, and then
Speaker 1: James Madison's like it's right in the middle. It's it's
Speaker 1: like second base. You got first base and then's second
Speaker 1: basis James Madison, I ain't gonna appreciate your calling them
Speaker 1: rejects though, Bro, I'm just calling it. Bro. You noticed
Speaker 1: another reject school, South Carolina because they say the USC
Speaker 1: you ain't us, You're the University of South Carolina. Now
Speaker 1: you're really about It's true though I didn't go to
Speaker 1: either one. But I'm just telling you, yeah, no, not
Speaker 1: that that was a big thing for me is the
Speaker 1: I knew I was gonna again. The other schools was like, yeah, here,
Speaker 1: we do a dry season, no alcohol during the season.
Speaker 1: You know, different guys like that were hit. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta be wet to dry out. Yeah eleven, you were
Speaker 1: drafted tenth overall, so you're in the top ten pick.
Speaker 1: Take us through because football being a top ten pick, man,
Speaker 1: it is a circus. It is a circus. So you know,
Speaker 1: obviously MLS does not have that much eyes as the NFL.
Speaker 1: But y'all, but you got a little bit. Take us
Speaker 1: through that. What the what the soccer circus was for
Speaker 1: you being a top ten pick? You know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: I had a very different experience than most guys that
Speaker 1: go top ten. I went to a team. Uh the coach,
Speaker 1: he didn't he didn't care what the number you ain't.
Speaker 1: I still had to try out. You know, every other
Speaker 1: player in the top ten had a had a contract
Speaker 1: before they even stepped on the field. I had to
Speaker 1: go through a month and a half the preseason before
Speaker 1: I even saw it. Why why do you not get
Speaker 1: a guarantee being number ten? Well one, I didn't have
Speaker 1: a good agent. Uh yeah that was that was because
Speaker 1: I was a what you call, I guess somewhat of
Speaker 1: a sleeper coming up So it wasn't until I was
Speaker 1: at the combine that I realized I had a strong
Speaker 1: opportunity of getting picked in a whole bunch of agents
Speaker 1: where like in my face. And I ended up going
Speaker 1: with a guy that was like from where I lived,
Speaker 1: and he made it seem like he he really knew
Speaker 1: what he was doing, but he really didn't. And so
Speaker 1: they actually try to get me on like a on
Speaker 1: a reserve contract, which basically means it's like a practice
Speaker 1: squad contract. They try to finesse me hard. But you know,
Speaker 1: I I actually have always excelled in those positions, whether
Speaker 1: it's being an underdog or continuously having to to grind
Speaker 1: and work towards something. Um, because I could safely say
Speaker 1: I earned my contract my first contract in this league.
Speaker 1: There's guys that have gone number one, number two, never
Speaker 1: even played a professional game, you know, out of the league.
Speaker 1: And two to three years you said the combine. Should
Speaker 1: they have a combine for for these players or what
Speaker 1: is that entail? Yeah? Man, I think it's different structure now.
Speaker 1: But for me, if you call it a combine, I mean, bro,
Speaker 1: we played three scrimmages, right, We did a forty yard dash,
Speaker 1: we did a vertical test and I think like a
Speaker 1: shuttle runner. And that was a combine. You know. So
Speaker 1: the teams did they interview you? Yeah? Every Yeah, the
Speaker 1: teams interview you. You know, you're at the little resort
Speaker 1: and every every day you gotta you know, a list
Speaker 1: of appointments if you will. And that was a wild, wild,
Speaker 1: wild experience for me. Um, But I do think I
Speaker 1: what I was. I definitely gained points with how I spoke.
Speaker 1: You know, I had the feeling that I wasn't that
Speaker 1: typical black man that that a lot of these guys
Speaker 1: were expecting. I don't want to say it's sad to say,
Speaker 1: but you guys know how it is. You can feel
Speaker 1: I want to I want I don't know what you mean,
Speaker 1: but yo yo yo, talk about talk about it, don't. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like you, you know, you're sitting down and um,
Speaker 1: once you start having the conversation and you, I guess,
Speaker 1: articulate what's on your mind, or you use a uh
Speaker 1: quote unquote big word or fancy word here and there,
Speaker 1: and then you get the the little raised either or
Speaker 1: the wow you speaks to speak so well, Yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. That's how they do and then it's interesting
Speaker 1: for me because I think my first year that's what
Speaker 1: made me very marketable as well, because oh it snap
Speaker 1: number ten pick right. I wasn't giving a hype as
Speaker 1: you know, right off the bat, but when you know,
Speaker 1: my first game, I scored two minutes into the game,
Speaker 1: so then like yeah, hell yeah. So they're like okay
Speaker 1: a little bit and then they interview it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know the interview, I not only showed personality, but I
Speaker 1: was able to articulate, you know, how I was feeling,
Speaker 1: how the plays, uh that led up to me scoring,
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that, and that's when they're like okay,
Speaker 1: and then they asked me to do the interviews here
Speaker 1: they're everywhere, you know, and like again that I've heard
Speaker 1: the damn he speaks so well. Well, so it's such
Speaker 1: a well spoken kid. You know, you were such an exactly,
Speaker 1: and like that's a little aspect where people don't realize, like,
Speaker 1: damn sure you in that result of being a well
Speaker 1: spoken having that charisma, being able to have the game
Speaker 1: to back it up, you became rookie of the year. Yes, yes, sir,
Speaker 1: yes sir, you become rookie of the Year. Let me
Speaker 1: pause for a little bit, though, because I've had this UM.
Speaker 1: I had this enlightenment when you really think of about it.
Speaker 1: Um of sometimes sports really mimics because right next to
Speaker 1: my question, I have Kate Coast and it enlights me
Speaker 1: to understanding like sports, A lot of the sports, a
Speaker 1: lot of athletes are people of color. And the combine
Speaker 1: is almost like the slave trade. And let's go down
Speaker 1: memory lane, because you bring all of these individuals, you
Speaker 1: put them on the airplane, and you heard them into
Speaker 1: one centralized location. And then you have all other people
Speaker 1: that are coming in and they examine you. They they
Speaker 1: prod you. They see, let me see how strong this
Speaker 1: boy is. Let's see how strong you are. Can you
Speaker 1: carry the work loan? Do you have the mental capacity?
Speaker 1: What is his his deficiencies? And what is his attributes?
Speaker 1: And then they all they have a draft, and was
Speaker 1: the draft? If someone likes you, what did they do?
Speaker 1: They barter with someone else to move up to get
Speaker 1: their special workload, and they examine you and they look
Speaker 1: at you, and then they decide what's your value, and
Speaker 1: then they get you and they take you off. And
Speaker 1: I had that. I was I was kind of nearing
Speaker 1: my end of my career. And I was at the
Speaker 1: combine and I bumped into a kid and he was hurt.
Speaker 1: He was being herded in at the combine. I'm like, bro,
Speaker 1: this is mom to day slavery. And I didn't really
Speaker 1: see it that way. Now, somebody listening and say, really, Steve,
Speaker 1: mother and day slavery, right, you you really saying? All
Speaker 1: I'm saying is it just really has something very familiar
Speaker 1: with people coming into a place and bidding on God
Speaker 1: and and and the differences that we are free and
Speaker 1: we have the opportunity to choose to participate in that.
Speaker 1: But one of the unique things not everybody does. Right. So,
Speaker 1: as I side tracked on that, I go back to
Speaker 1: Rookie of the Year. What did that success due to
Speaker 1: your mind? So early on, six seven months after getting drafted. Um, Honestly,
Speaker 1: it was very humbling because it was, like I said,
Speaker 1: it wasn't easy for me. Um, it didn't necessarily come naturally.
Speaker 1: It came from a lot of sacrifice, a lot of effort. Um.
Speaker 1: So I couldn't help but just really feel grounded in
Speaker 1: and knowing that all the work that I have put
Speaker 1: into the game, all the you know, nightouts with the
Speaker 1: homies that I missed to go because I knew how
Speaker 1: a soccer game the next day. It made me really
Speaker 1: feel Uh but was that a sacrifice or was that
Speaker 1: you try you changing and becoming a professional in your
Speaker 1: own dedication. Because some people say sacrifice, You're like, well,
Speaker 1: how you can you sacrifice this your job? So was
Speaker 1: it a really the sacrifice or was it just you
Speaker 1: locking in saying if I really because you weren't given
Speaker 1: the success, You weren't giving that big contract you have
Speaker 1: to earn your contract. They like you said, they made
Speaker 1: you try out as the tenth overall pick. Oh hey, bro,
Speaker 1: I was saying it was sacrifice when I was younger,
Speaker 1: when I was a pro, like my first year, I
Speaker 1: obviously I was learning to be a good pro, but
Speaker 1: I also have me a good time. I actually think
Speaker 1: that had a good Uh. That had a strong bearing
Speaker 1: all my success too, because it while I wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, perform for my team, I also so consciously
Speaker 1: understood the importance of being loose and being happy and
Speaker 1: you know, not confining myself or boxing myself in into
Speaker 1: again a mental construct of what I have to do
Speaker 1: to be good. Right people, will you see players, they're
Speaker 1: real strict with the diet. You know, Um, they don't
Speaker 1: leave a house. They're playing the Xbox and Whatnotum, just
Speaker 1: to stay in a crib. Whereas me, like I was
Speaker 1: stepping out, I was, you know, seeing stuff in the city. Uh,
Speaker 1: this was Kansas City, and that is I believe that
Speaker 1: that's dope though, because you don't you don't really don't
Speaker 1: hear a lot of athletes saying I enjoy I had
Speaker 1: I had fun that I never really heard that before.
Speaker 1: I'm eating, breathing shocker. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean I
Speaker 1: had good guys around me too. I had a lot
Speaker 1: of brothers, I had a lot of Uh. I had
Speaker 1: one of my best friends still to this day, Kakumara,
Speaker 1: he from Sierra Leone. So he understood. You know that
Speaker 1: that culture aspect um that I've been talking with you
Speaker 1: guys about, you know, was able to kind of keep
Speaker 1: me honed in on one. Yes, like we are professionals
Speaker 1: and we we gotta perform, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: our families and what we've come from and the things
Speaker 1: that we've gone through to be here right now in America,
Speaker 1: we came here to enjoy too. You know it it's
Speaker 1: not so well It shouldn't solely just be a job,
Speaker 1: right you You do hear of countries where families and
Speaker 1: members have to come to America to find a better
Speaker 1: life and and they and they slave away at the
Speaker 1: end of it. But they need to be able to
Speaker 1: find a time to enjoy. Um, you know what they're
Speaker 1: what they're living in, and what they're doing. Otherwise, what
Speaker 1: is the point of this all? We have to take
Speaker 1: a break and the morning thing. We gotta pay some bills.
Speaker 1: You got checks. I love cut to It and I
Speaker 1: love it even more when you download us and subscribe,
Speaker 1: and you can follow us on social media too, Smithie
Speaker 1: where where at? That's at? Cut to It on Instagram?
Speaker 1: What about Twitter? At? Cut to It Facebook? Cut to
Speaker 1: It featuring Steve Smith singr. What about online? And you
Speaker 1: can follow us at cut to It podcast dot com
Speaker 1: where you can buy merch and you can subscribe to
Speaker 1: us wherever you listen to podcasts. I got all my
Speaker 1: answers questions. Um, yeah, I got all my questions answered.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for, a brother, cut to a
Speaker 1: Podcast dot Com. Let's talk ball and for you, ball's
Speaker 1: soccer and some kids out there listening, how do they
Speaker 1: become a professional soccer player? How to become a professional
Speaker 1: soccer player? Well, I think it starts with you know
Speaker 1: how bad you want it? Man? And I think you
Speaker 1: hear that a lot. But the next step is what
Speaker 1: is a kid willing to do to become a professional
Speaker 1: soccer player? Do they? Are they training an extra thirty
Speaker 1: minutes after practice? Are they you know, ensuring that the
Speaker 1: food that they're putting in their body is gonna maximize
Speaker 1: their their performance the next day? Are they visualizing and
Speaker 1: envisioning you know those moments? Uh, it's it's it's not
Speaker 1: cookie there's no cookie cutter way too to it, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I think it's it's all within your heart and
Speaker 1: your passion and believing that you are not necessarily it's
Speaker 1: not like, oh, believe it and you will achieve. You
Speaker 1: need a form of belief, but you need a form
Speaker 1: of action because that that cliche, you know, it's and
Speaker 1: it sounds good, right like guys believe and you will achieve.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, that's one part of it. You can
Speaker 1: believe it exactly. And that's that's where I think if
Speaker 1: we as you know, us as adults, can kind of
Speaker 1: instill that if the kids will start to see, you know,
Speaker 1: especially within our community, you'll start to see a lot
Speaker 1: more athletes, not justin basketball or football, but like soccer,
Speaker 1: uh lacrosse, baseball. You know, understanding that there are other
Speaker 1: sports and other avenues in which we as people can
Speaker 1: utilize our strengths. So my my son gave me this.
Speaker 1: My son used to play soccer, blew out his knee,
Speaker 1: and I asked him, give me something I can ask
Speaker 1: c J. He said, you know, Dad, because he was
Speaker 1: a forward, but because he uh, he played on the
Speaker 1: soccer team that um, they couldn't really feed him the
Speaker 1: way he need to be fed. But he was a
Speaker 1: great distributor. But then when he got to college, he
Speaker 1: struggled because he played so much as a center mid.
Speaker 1: He struggled to play the right back or the forward.
Speaker 1: He could he because he mentally and physically his muscle
Speaker 1: memory was giving other people opportunities to create for them
Speaker 1: that he could not have the ability. He didn't know
Speaker 1: how to switch it over to conversion. Yeah, he couldn't
Speaker 1: create his own shop. So he he asked me to
Speaker 1: ask you, which was really cool, especially for him because
Speaker 1: he doesn't he's still in that stage where he's he's
Speaker 1: being vulnerable with his dad, but he doesn't want the
Speaker 1: I told you so to come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: And I tried very hard not to give him that,
Speaker 1: but it was really transparent on his He says, what
Speaker 1: do you do when him teammates or coaches seem to
Speaker 1: lose confidence in you? How do you stake self confidence?
Speaker 1: I think for that one, that's where as a as
Speaker 1: an individual, you gotta get really creative, man, because look,
Speaker 1: the tricky part of that is if you're looking for
Speaker 1: that confidence from that confidence you get from your teammates
Speaker 1: and your coach should just be the sprinkles. You need
Speaker 1: to have it within your own self. And I I
Speaker 1: personally know because of a lot of times in my
Speaker 1: career I was looking for that and when I didn't
Speaker 1: get it, it affected my performance. That's when I went
Speaker 1: back to the lab and I just it's repetition. We
Speaker 1: as athletes. If again, if he was playing college soccer,
Speaker 1: he's smart enough in the game to know what his
Speaker 1: strengths and what his weaknesses are, that's where you have
Speaker 1: to say, you know what, all right, that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go back to my personal lab and I'm gonna find
Speaker 1: all the things that I don't do right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do each fifty times. I'm gonna do each a hundred times.
Speaker 1: You know. That's like you said, muscle memory. The thing is,
Speaker 1: when you get to college and professional you are now
Speaker 1: the block that they're trying to fit into the into
Speaker 1: the whole. You could be a square block. They try
Speaker 1: to put you in a circle like they are doing
Speaker 1: what they are doing to ensure that the team wins,
Speaker 1: and that they win. They're not about that mortgage day
Speaker 1: and out there coaching individuals to make them better, you know.
Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, if we are
Speaker 1: looking to them for validation, we're ultimately going to be
Speaker 1: in a Yes, it might work out for a little bit,
Speaker 1: but I've seen with guys that are not playing now
Speaker 1: are even looking for that in their workspaces, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's just a dangerous circle or cycle to get
Speaker 1: lost in when you're continuously looking for confidence from other people.
Speaker 1: So that's that's the best I can give, because I
Speaker 1: also know in doing that and relying on yourself, you
Speaker 1: will be able to take that into other things in
Speaker 1: your life will be successful. I guess when I say
Speaker 1: teammates because I have seen it right. You could be
Speaker 1: on the pitch and you know in basketball, shoot or shoot,
Speaker 1: whether you how to code, it's the only way to
Speaker 1: come out of it where you how to cold. If
Speaker 1: you're a shooter, the center is not gonna take that
Speaker 1: three if if, if the shooter is at the three
Speaker 1: point in the baseline wide open, he's not he's not
Speaker 1: even gonna dunk it because that's three two and three.
Speaker 1: Don't don't add we're gonna get that three point. But
Speaker 1: when you're a forward, you know you're judged on on shots. Right.
Speaker 1: It's always funny as you know, I know, learn this
Speaker 1: soccer lingo. Oh that's unlucky, brom. I'm the one who's
Speaker 1: soccer games for so long. They'd be like, that's unlucky.
Speaker 1: And I'm a football guy, right, I'm a realist too.
Speaker 1: I'm like, now they ain't lucky. That boy just got
Speaker 1: got bullied off the ball missed. I'm like the goal
Speaker 1: had been in the same spot. Oh day, unlucky, unlucky.
Speaker 1: You're right, you're right, bro, Like he missed that damn
Speaker 1: go by. What are you talking about? Yeah, m lucky,
Speaker 1: Johnny's awful. That's the thing with soccer in this country
Speaker 1: because you know, it's such a and I'm not arguing
Speaker 1: either way here, but that's where it is different than
Speaker 1: like a football and basketball, because soccer is more of that,
Speaker 1: you know, participatory sport and it's about working in the
Speaker 1: group and everybody, everybody gets to play, you know. So
Speaker 1: because that's the foundation, you see it in later stages
Speaker 1: to yeah, yeah, how do you handle because you're saying,
Speaker 1: get back to the lab, you know, maintain your own
Speaker 1: self confidence, you know, working out it get you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta get tricky, you know, with your own self.
Speaker 1: You gotta do that drill fifty to a hundred times
Speaker 1: a day. But what happens when your actual teammates start
Speaker 1: to see that brother ain't unlucky day, that brother just
Speaker 1: off and then they start to pass around you. You're
Speaker 1: you're you're a forward. The ball must go to you,
Speaker 1: and that it's not going to you. How do you
Speaker 1: handle when your teammates have lost confidence in you they're
Speaker 1: passing around you? There the coaches, you know, ball still
Speaker 1: in playing you can see your backup and starting to
Speaker 1: warm them up, right, you know, y'all doing that little
Speaker 1: patent kick butt kickers on the side here, you know,
Speaker 1: how do you not peek over? You know, in a
Speaker 1: corner of your eye you see that you're about to
Speaker 1: be replaced. Ye, you can't, You don't, bro I've even
Speaker 1: gone through that as a pro my last year in
Speaker 1: Chicago and ended up coming out that this guy and
Speaker 1: his wife were racist. So I got some closure and
Speaker 1: understanding why. But there's this guy on the field. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm making the best possible runs I can make. I'm
Speaker 1: sitting in positions to score open goals, and this dude
Speaker 1: just wouldn't pass me, wouldn't pass, wouldn't passed? Whenn't passing?
Speaker 1: Like I'm in my head like damn, Like what am
Speaker 1: I doing wrong? Right? And I'm coiling up clips and
Speaker 1: showing it to the coaches asking them, Hey, what can
Speaker 1: I do better here? And you know they're giving Honestly,
Speaker 1: they were giving me fu answers because they knew what
Speaker 1: the deal was. At the end of the day, I
Speaker 1: missed them, and I've been I've been pretty alert. What
Speaker 1: what did I miss? What did they know? They knew?
Speaker 1: Man's with racist? But this this, that's a whole another story. Well,
Speaker 1: there's my pocket, don't you dropped there? Let's let'sten handle
Speaker 1: and I've bo I ain't picking up them bread chrome
Speaker 1: all the way back to doctors Wilderness. What what what
Speaker 1: you're talking about? You said, Yeah, keep over, we just
Speaker 1: skip over. But I'm I'm in here no, because it all,
Speaker 1: it all does what it does, circle back to and
Speaker 1: essentially what can be done in those moments. Right. So
Speaker 1: I got traded to Chicago Fire at the beginning of
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen. I came to a team that had
Speaker 1: a striker who scored I want to say, like eighteen
Speaker 1: goals the season before. Um, they had another guy, you came, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I came, that's called competition. Yeah, exactly, it's healthy.
Speaker 1: Um yeah. So I was fortunate because the first game
Speaker 1: of the season, that striker, uh, congrats and him had
Speaker 1: a child and so he missed the first game, and
Speaker 1: so I stepped in. I end up scoring in our
Speaker 1: in my first game with the team. So I just built.
Speaker 1: I just went off of that momentum, and you know,
Speaker 1: I scored within I think the next like eight or
Speaker 1: nine games, I probably had like four or five goals.
Speaker 1: And so like, it's weird because I want I felt
Speaker 1: I want to say I felt it. And when I
Speaker 1: say I felt it, it was the discomfort with me,
Speaker 1: just me as a person in this locker room. Um,
Speaker 1: my team in Philadelphia, which was my previous team, had brothers,
Speaker 1: go Lore, we had Islanders, we had um some dudes
Speaker 1: from the Caribbean, we had Africans, lots of brothers. It
Speaker 1: was five we dancing in the locker room. And then
Speaker 1: with in Chicago, I was one of two in the
Speaker 1: locker room. How many owners squad like reserve? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: let and so there's twenty people that are not of
Speaker 1: different descent historically they all look the same. Well, there's
Speaker 1: some Hispanics in there, you know, but there's mostly uh
Speaker 1: like white boys, Eastern on this particular team, it was
Speaker 1: Eastern European like pol In, uh, Serbia, h you know, German. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: C J. Did that experience help shape and lead you
Speaker 1: to form the Black Players Coalition for the MLS? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that was one of the That was one
Speaker 1: of the stories because we're not we had because I'm
Speaker 1: on the board, right, So we had a call with
Speaker 1: our commissioner and all the coaches in the league, and
Speaker 1: you know, to be fair, like they don't know what
Speaker 1: they don't know, they've just been a lot of people
Speaker 1: who have just been blind to it. You know, they
Speaker 1: they made the mistake of asking us like where we
Speaker 1: actually experienced racism or systemic injustice, And I mean we
Speaker 1: all went down the line and we gave them, you know,
Speaker 1: they they experiences and the examples. And for me that
Speaker 1: was a big one because I'm on a team, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to win and my man's was literally refusing to
Speaker 1: pass me the ball when it put us in positions
Speaker 1: to win. And regardless of color, if you're a coach
Speaker 1: or a fan or whatnot, when you if you see that,
Speaker 1: I believe it should be called out, not if not
Speaker 1: for the racism, for the sheer fact that we have
Speaker 1: all put on this jersey with this crest to win
Speaker 1: and because of you and a bullshit or whatever is
Speaker 1: in your your head, you are now restricting the team
Speaker 1: or being uh hindrance upon our success. Yeah, And it
Speaker 1: was just outrageous to me that it went on for
Speaker 1: as long as it did. How was that meeting with
Speaker 1: all the other players with the coaches to bring them together,
Speaker 1: to bring you all together? Did did you feel like
Speaker 1: the coaches were listening or did you feel like y'all
Speaker 1: were just like it was a bit session right here. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it felt it felt real in the moment, but then
Speaker 1: as things you know, have transpired, I feel like it
Speaker 1: was just it was just a little session. And you know,
Speaker 1: people get on. Yeah they said, oh well we listened
Speaker 1: to you guys, we hear you, okay, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: do better. But then, you know, everything is the old
Speaker 1: status quo. You know, like we shoot for instance us
Speaker 1: we we may whole black lives matters, Black lives matters,
Speaker 1: or for our little bubble tournament. And now you know
Speaker 1: already people you know within the league there, Oh, we
Speaker 1: don't need those shirts anymore. We gotta let our sponsor,
Speaker 1: Our sponsors have to be seen. Guys, come on, like,
Speaker 1: you know, we've got to keep on. We gotta go
Speaker 1: with regularly scheduled program like damn, like y'all gave us
Speaker 1: to three weeks and thought that was there, Hunt, you
Speaker 1: got your black history in June and July. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: February come around the corner, now, run along, man. Oh man,
Speaker 1: It's it's sad and and and it shows how deep
Speaker 1: the injustice is. It's it's really really deep, man. And
Speaker 1: you know, whether it's that situation or a situation where
Speaker 1: players literally willing to put his team in a position
Speaker 1: to lose. It's something that I think is gonna take
Speaker 1: a long time. But you know, us having these conversations
Speaker 1: is the is the is the way to start it.
Speaker 1: It's gonna take a minute. But if we can't have
Speaker 1: these conversations, and like you said, invoked some cringe and
Speaker 1: some visceral reactions and it definitely is not going to change.
Speaker 1: So what has happened to the individual that you're speaking about?
Speaker 1: You know, you I cut you off, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to say I didn't want to for the store. Now
Speaker 1: moving forward, you know you saw you just weren't the
Speaker 1: person complaining. He moved on to another team and then
Speaker 1: what happened? Yeah, so he went on to another team
Speaker 1: hit when the uh situation with George Floyd happened, and
Speaker 1: you know, there are protests all around the country. His
Speaker 1: wife actually posted something on Instagram was a picture because
Speaker 1: you know there's a lot of looting. She found a
Speaker 1: picture of some black people in front of the store,
Speaker 1: some had some shoes in their hands running and you
Speaker 1: posted in serbian, oh black lives or black Nikes matter guys,
Speaker 1: and UH followed that post up with another picture of
Speaker 1: some looting and some black folks and and Serbian again
Speaker 1: said kill them allow, yes, heal them all, kill them all.
Speaker 1: I don't know she thought that. Um, you know, technology
Speaker 1: can trash like she was doing it on the love
Speaker 1: she was just let me hit him in So they
Speaker 1: all them other ones ain't gonna know what this means.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, your husband plays for a professional soccer
Speaker 1: team in l A. Though like she knew, Yeah she didn't,
Speaker 1: so he got so what happened? So from that, well,
Speaker 1: so this is what happened. So that yeah, right, so
Speaker 1: that happened, And obviously there was just uproar from a
Speaker 1: lot of people fans of the team, like yo, this
Speaker 1: is unacceptable this that and the other and the Galaxy
Speaker 1: l A team. They actually, you know, they invited him
Speaker 1: and the player, they invited him to have a meeting too,
Speaker 1: I guess, discuss the situation. And I don't. That's mighty
Speaker 1: nice of them, right, must be, must be, uh that
Speaker 1: we can let's let's talk about this, okay, imagine, But um,
Speaker 1: I don't know what was said in that in that meeting.
Speaker 1: I heard that essentially, they want they asked him to
Speaker 1: basically put out a statement apologizing and he refused, and
Speaker 1: so they're like, all right that you're gone. Wow, So
Speaker 1: do you think that that's this individual that we're not naming?
Speaker 1: You can always look it up. Do you believe this
Speaker 1: individual will get picked back up? You already did. He
Speaker 1: went back to his home country and he's on. He's on,
Speaker 1: I think one of one of the best teams out
Speaker 1: there in Serbia. So yep, just like that. What moving along, Jill?
Speaker 1: That vibe at Kendrick. This it just shows you, man, Like,
Speaker 1: that's how deep I think it's about that time. Just
Speaker 1: so I take a little breather. Good do it, good
Speaker 1: do it. Let's getting down to do it. Hey, Gerard,
Speaker 1: why did you get that T shirt? You mean this thing?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I got it from cut to a podcast
Speaker 1: dot com where we have exclusive merchandise shout out to
Speaker 1: our guys at seven or four shot. But yeah, you
Speaker 1: can go on, buy you a T shirt, subscribe to
Speaker 1: us wherever you in the podcast. What does playing in
Speaker 1: the email last me to you? Today? Man? Today, it's
Speaker 1: a it's now. It's the platform, man, it's um uh
Speaker 1: opportunity to continue to play the sport. I love, continue
Speaker 1: to try and master my craft, but also bring emphasis
Speaker 1: and attention two things within our society that I believe
Speaker 1: are very important and um necessary to be brought to
Speaker 1: attention if we're gonna move in a way that's conducive
Speaker 1: for all of us as people. Man. Um, I've really
Speaker 1: found in a new sense of motivation. Um, I've really
Speaker 1: found a centralized focus on what I want to accomplish
Speaker 1: for myself and my family. And I'm excited now. I
Speaker 1: mean I've always been excited every time have to feel,
Speaker 1: but it really hits different these days, man, because I
Speaker 1: I really understand the position that I've didn't put in
Speaker 1: and with my history and my family and and all
Speaker 1: the things that I've made me who I am. Uh
Speaker 1: today two really feel like this is what you were
Speaker 1: meant for. Um. You know, It's an amazing feeling, and
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to doing it as long as I can,
Speaker 1: and then continuing to push the views and the the
Speaker 1: life in the world that I would I would like
Speaker 1: to see. Afterwards, I want to shift to something. Because
Speaker 1: you are arrested with the dun and and and reckless driving.
Speaker 1: He was found not guilty, However, you were required to
Speaker 1: go into a treatment facility and mallible and according to
Speaker 1: your worship, change your life. Shure. Then how how did that?
Speaker 1: How did that? Man? So this is a great I
Speaker 1: love this topic because, um, it's probably the onset of
Speaker 1: my transformation, getting arrested and being I mean, if I
Speaker 1: can kind of exploite that that story. So I got
Speaker 1: stopped at Philly late night. I went out. I was
Speaker 1: not drunk, but you know, I was out late and
Speaker 1: I didn't know my way around the city. And all right,
Speaker 1: I'm sure this has happened too many people. But you know,
Speaker 1: when you're kind of you're taking the exit and maybe
Speaker 1: you accelerated a little too hard and maybe not enough.
Speaker 1: You know, you kind of do that wide super wide
Speaker 1: turned on the exit. That's what That's what happened with me.
Speaker 1: But it was two am in the morning. There happened
Speaker 1: to be a cop sitting you actually found you sound
Speaker 1: like you were over there by getting off on that
Speaker 1: extra It was around there. It wasn't around there. Those
Speaker 1: those terms are very wide excellent. It wasn't around there,
Speaker 1: it was and there was also construction going on and
Speaker 1: right right and uh, it was the night of a
Speaker 1: demonstration for Freddy Gray. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: remember very gray in Maryland? Yeah, okay, yeah, so um
Speaker 1: So the reason why that stuff is important is because
Speaker 1: I didn't find out until a year later that the
Speaker 1: cop who stopped me didn't even see me. He didn't
Speaker 1: see anything that he was telling or that he wrote
Speaker 1: in his report that he saw. It was actually another
Speaker 1: cop who was behind me. Who in mind you? I had,
Speaker 1: you know, a nice white C three hunted, blacked out tent, vinyl,
Speaker 1: black vinyl top, black rim flex flex sex so you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly so he um the cop a cop behind me,
Speaker 1: saw me take the exit radio to the cop in front,
Speaker 1: said hey, man, I don't know what he said, right,
Speaker 1: because they told they in their report they said, oh
Speaker 1: this guy, uh is reckless. He almost hit a traffic cone,
Speaker 1: which there was cones everywhere, but either way, I get
Speaker 1: they stopped me too. Yeah, so you know, I get stopped.
Speaker 1: Two of them approached my car. First thing, he said,
Speaker 1: how much have you had to drink? I said, bro,
Speaker 1: I haven't had nothing. It was like, no, you drink,
Speaker 1: I can smell it. Like, how much have you had
Speaker 1: to drink? Said? I haven't drink anything? All right? Give
Speaker 1: me a license, all right, So I'm looking at give
Speaker 1: him my license and asked for their registration. And to
Speaker 1: be fair, like my glove box had a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff in there, and I knew I didn't do anything wrong,
Speaker 1: So I took my time right and I could I
Speaker 1: could feel my man's getting so like heated. It's like, yo,
Speaker 1: I don't have all fucking day. Give me your I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for it right now. He said, no, what
Speaker 1: effic get out the car. I'm like, why do I
Speaker 1: need together get out the car now? So, like I said,
Speaker 1: it was a whole day of Freddy Gray joints. So
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to, you know, uh, antagonize this guy
Speaker 1: and makes the situation worse than it needs to be,
Speaker 1: takes me out, runs me through, you know, sobriety tests,
Speaker 1: which the judge literally a year later saw the video
Speaker 1: and said he's now going to use that dash Camp
Speaker 1: footage as a basis for the rest of his cases
Speaker 1: because that's the best one he's ever seen. But these
Speaker 1: dudes would look like, I mean, do this, do that,
Speaker 1: do this, do that in in aggressive ways. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm before I actually do it. I just asked them,
Speaker 1: you know, like, can you explain that slower please, because
Speaker 1: you're talking fast. I just want to make sure I
Speaker 1: do this right. I did it. I did everything he said.
Speaker 1: You know what, You're still getting arrested. Not only did
Speaker 1: you almost hit that cone, you almost hit me. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, now you're BS and I didn't
Speaker 1: hit you, Like look I'm not. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: get home. I'm new to the city. I don't want
Speaker 1: no problems. It's like, no, you're going to jail night.
Speaker 1: So they took me, man, they took me in. They
Speaker 1: they the tactics they use. Bro, there's five or six
Speaker 1: other people getting literally getting booked for d wise. I
Speaker 1: mean there's dudes passed out, bro, like stumbling and like
Speaker 1: drunk drunk, and I'm in here. They got like four
Speaker 1: officers in there, and three of them are in my
Speaker 1: ear yelling take your shoes, take your places on, hurry up.
Speaker 1: We don't have all of the clearly trying to intimidate,
Speaker 1: and um, I get through and they sent me down.
Speaker 1: One cop is behind me, when is next to me,
Speaker 1: one's across from me. They just start putting papers in
Speaker 1: front of me. All right, signs this this says that
Speaker 1: da da da da da da da. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: whoa whoa? Slow down, bro, what am I signing? Like?
Speaker 1: Come on? It's like, I just told you what you're signing,
Speaker 1: and I said okay. So he gave it to me
Speaker 1: and I sat there and I started to read the paper.
Speaker 1: Would you believe these cats ripped the paper from in
Speaker 1: front of me and said, yo, what are you doing.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm reading the paper, said They said, no,
Speaker 1: don't read the paper. I told you what's on it.
Speaker 1: I said, look, I understand that you guys are a
Speaker 1: little a little fussed right now. Whatever, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: anything until I'm not doing anything. I'm not signing anything
Speaker 1: until I eat that paper. And then that's when one
Speaker 1: of them said, oh, that's a refusal. He refused, Lock
Speaker 1: him up. And in Pennsylvania, a refusal is a tier
Speaker 1: three d U. I wow, so that's how that's how
Speaker 1: you were booked on that. That's how I was booked
Speaker 1: on that, bro. And then they proceeded to keep me
Speaker 1: and they kept me in the tank for twenty plus
Speaker 1: hours before even allowing a phone call. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because I was literally in there and meditating these caps
Speaker 1: was like, who is this? Mother? Like who is this dude?
Speaker 1: So we haven't you know, we had a conversation. I
Speaker 1: had a conversation with my producer. She said he CJ
Speaker 1: was meditating for twenty hours. I said yeah, because in
Speaker 1: the first four this can't be real. And then he
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I gotta get through this
Speaker 1: if I can get to get out of here. You're
Speaker 1: like the first he was like, two hours. How they
Speaker 1: gotta be joking. Three hours, man, they are not playing
Speaker 1: with me. Yeah, speaking too, huh yep, bro oh, And
Speaker 1: I mean people are in there just screaming, yelling. Man,
Speaker 1: it's going wild, and they're like they tossing the little
Speaker 1: cheese sandwich on the floor. I didn't even touch it, bro,
Speaker 1: I didn't touch nothing. I'm like, look, I'm in here whatever,
Speaker 1: Like it was a shitty situation. But twenty hours later,
Speaker 1: come out my my sporting my technical director for the
Speaker 1: team got me out. My mom had come up, you know,
Speaker 1: and everybody's like just just the disappointment, and I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there like, yo, look it ain't what y'all saying. Before
Speaker 1: I could even explain myself, the league releases. Uh statement up,
Speaker 1: see this part is arrested on d uy charges, this,
Speaker 1: that and the other. My the substance behavior and Abuse program.
Speaker 1: They hit me up saying, hey, look like, because you refuse,
Speaker 1: you're looking at jail time. So you have to go
Speaker 1: to the rehab basically because then we're gonna try and say, okay,
Speaker 1: those days that you had in rehab should be taken
Speaker 1: off your sentence. They're trying to work the system just
Speaker 1: to help you out because they also know how the
Speaker 1: system in exactly exactly. Um, and I'm over here like
Speaker 1: wait what Obviously this is the means I'm missing games.
Speaker 1: Obviously everybody's over here thinking I'm some alcoholic, Which that
Speaker 1: wasn't even the worst part about it for me. It
Speaker 1: was just the fact that like I had, I had
Speaker 1: just I had had just came back from an injury
Speaker 1: before that, I had a concussion for like the first
Speaker 1: month of the season, and um, it was tough, man, Like,
Speaker 1: it was very bad concussion. It was hard to uh,
Speaker 1: you know, get myself up certain days. And I was
Speaker 1: just getting back scored in my first game back and
Speaker 1: then boom, gotta go do this. Um, but man, they
Speaker 1: you know I'm in ma A Bou, like they said rehab,
Speaker 1: but that the treatment facility was just a different level.
Speaker 1: You know, had had our own chef, like everything gluten free,
Speaker 1: like organic, we were doing tai chi equine therapy. Uh
Speaker 1: you get massages. They were letting me off the off
Speaker 1: the site to work out and stuff. You know. So
Speaker 1: it was like a crazy little unplugging, uh disconnect that
Speaker 1: I got, like you can't be on your phone and
Speaker 1: you know, through the normal, the normal procedure of a
Speaker 1: rehab facility, I was able to understand that while I
Speaker 1: might have not had an addiction to alcohol, there was
Speaker 1: many other addictive qualities of my life, and like understanding
Speaker 1: the different methods and practices that are out there to
Speaker 1: bring more self awareness into your experience. It changed. It
Speaker 1: just really changed my perspective of everything, and I began
Speaker 1: to find again my true nature. Right. I began to
Speaker 1: understand Wow, like I even just how I was being
Speaker 1: an asshole to the I mean, I wouldn't say I
Speaker 1: was being an asshole, we will, oh, you know, I
Speaker 1: mean I was page just like I'm going to read
Speaker 1: every line, you know. But and it kind of goes
Speaker 1: back to what you said, you know, in that bitter place.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a night where people are literally, uh
Speaker 1: marching in the streets because a guy like got killed
Speaker 1: by the cops, you know, and I'm like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet y'all profile me, and I felt bitter. And
Speaker 1: that's where I realized, like, rather than channel that energy
Speaker 1: into basically just gaslighting a situation, how do I channel
Speaker 1: that into either making myself a better person or using
Speaker 1: that to make my surroundings better. And that's that's where
Speaker 1: it really all started from me. Man, Like, that's that's
Speaker 1: what led to the ideation of my nonprofit. I'm Philly.
Speaker 1: Um that's what's led to you know, right now. I
Speaker 1: got to working on to two businesses right now kind
Speaker 1: of based on sustainability and um one is based on
Speaker 1: sustainability that have plant and then another is based on,
Speaker 1: uh bringing lifestyle skills and lifestyle management into athlete representation
Speaker 1: to kind of you know, provide athletes all these different
Speaker 1: mechanisms that I had through you know, a wild journey,
Speaker 1: so that there's an ability to again find value and
Speaker 1: worth in your own self and continue to take that
Speaker 1: into your career. And obviously after um so yeah, and
Speaker 1: it was Malibu California. Bro, Like I was waking up
Speaker 1: to sun rises like right on the water. Uh you
Speaker 1: know it was it was I got to the dude
Speaker 1: that owns the house had another house right down the
Speaker 1: street that had a soccer field. So like I'm getting
Speaker 1: a train, you know, like by myself. Again it's callie
Speaker 1: like and ironic. I ended up meeting my fiance and
Speaker 1: mother of my child that I just had it all
Speaker 1: ended up. It has a funny way of coming full circle.
Speaker 1: It really does. This This segment we got coming up,
Speaker 1: last segment will wrap up. It's called the Deep Three,
Speaker 1: and it is three questions that really enable us to
Speaker 1: go take a deeper dive, you beyond the soccer field.
Speaker 1: So Soothy, go ahead and ask me first, what luggage
Speaker 1: have you carried around that has slowed your journey? Oh,
Speaker 1: I would say childhood trauma of continuing to find validation.
Speaker 1: Literally a lot of the topics that came up today.
Speaker 1: You know, it's easy for me to not easy, but
Speaker 1: I can say I can see what I need to
Speaker 1: do to get out of that. But it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that it's completely gone. You know, there was times when
Speaker 1: I was younger that moving through my days, I searched
Speaker 1: for validation from parents and teachers. You know so much
Speaker 1: that like if I didn't consistently get that, it just
Speaker 1: weighed down on me. And even today, you know, in
Speaker 1: little moments, I can find myself, um, just thinking the
Speaker 1: worst based off of maybe just miscommunication right, or like
Speaker 1: a facial expression that I read wrong. What would you
Speaker 1: want Tom Morton music? You have to come to day?
Speaker 1: Who oh man, that's a good one. I would want
Speaker 1: old Doc to say that I am a man that
Speaker 1: understands the value in being a man in trying to
Speaker 1: find whatever that definition is for me. So, Steve, we
Speaker 1: heard about what happens when teammates don't see how to
Speaker 1: eye in soccer? What about in football? Oh yeah, teammates
Speaker 1: don't see how toy just because you you have com
Speaker 1: the competitiveness. I don't believe, you know, I really don't
Speaker 1: know about why guys may not or you know, pass
Speaker 1: the ball or something. But I think a lot of
Speaker 1: it has to do with ego. Um. You know, a
Speaker 1: lot of times, whether it's a young player or older player,
Speaker 1: those players are are pretty significant for from wherever they're from.
Speaker 1: They've impacted so much that teams have said I want
Speaker 1: to draft this kid. I want to draft this guy.
Speaker 1: I want to bring this man from this other team
Speaker 1: that he's been successful and bring him into our locker room.
Speaker 1: That so his into our culture. So it can in
Speaker 1: fact our our team too. Maybe it could rub off
Speaker 1: on some guys to be a lot more physical or
Speaker 1: attack the game with a lot more passion. So whatever
Speaker 1: that category is that that team is looking for, um,
Speaker 1: it happens. But then you also have people from a
Speaker 1: lot of different places, right, and I say the dumb
Speaker 1: meters because common sense is different for various folks, and
Speaker 1: how you were raised determines how you dissect and and
Speaker 1: and look at things. So when you put a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of people, eighty guys from eighty different families and
Speaker 1: eighty different walks of life, you get a lot. You
Speaker 1: get eighty different conversations that don't always go peaches and
Speaker 1: cream and and so you just kind of gotta you
Speaker 1: have to work through it. And then you add the
Speaker 1: element of competition, compensation, um, the ability to be released
Speaker 1: or let go. That just heightens everything, and so um,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it lines get blurred, sometimes it gets
Speaker 1: it gets pretty fickled. And then just people just get
Speaker 1: piste off because sometimes people just lose their jobs because
Speaker 1: the guy in front of them is better, or sometimes
Speaker 1: people believe that the guy in front of him is
Speaker 1: better because the coach believes he's better, but the player
Speaker 1: doesn't but doesn't buy in buy into that. So that
Speaker 1: that that's I think that's a lot of things at
Speaker 1: times that happened. In perspective, what is that perspective of
Speaker 1: that person? What is that point of view of that individual,
Speaker 1: whether it's the guy that's beating the guy out or
Speaker 1: the guy that is getting beat out, how does he
Speaker 1: handle that? Doesn't always go well? Uh, I can imagine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean losing your job to a guy that you
Speaker 1: believe is not better than you. But the fact of
Speaker 1: the matter is he maybe, but you haven't. You don't
Speaker 1: want to own that that that doesn't go well. You
Speaker 1: are a unique person. You are well worth it, you
Speaker 1: are competent and most of all, your lovable. I'm Steve
Speaker 1: Smith Senior, I'm Gerald Little John and this is cut
Speaker 1: to It. Cut to It with Steve Smith Senior. That
Speaker 1: is Me is a production of Cut to It, LLC,
Speaker 1: Baltol Creative Media, The Black Effect and I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcast from My Heart Radio, visit the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio, Apple Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows. From Cut to It, Executive producer Steve
Speaker 1: eve Smith, singer co host Gerard little John, talent and
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Speaker 1: John Show from balto Creative Media, Cut Too It is
Speaker 1: produced by Brian Baltaschevic and Meredith Carter, with production assistance
Speaker 1: by Alex Lebrek, Production manager Sarah Pollock, Theme music by
Speaker 1: Alex Johnson, lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton. You ain't
Speaker 1: heard about it, then we're about to let you know.
Speaker 1: It's all