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Speaker 1: You're watching The Breakfast Club morning. Everybody is DJ Envy,

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Speaker 1: Angela Ye, Charlomne the guy. We all the Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 1: We got a special guest on. I'm super excited for

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Speaker 1: this one. Yes, because my girl Scissor is here, the

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Speaker 1: side chick zig zag Zig. First of all, talking about

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Speaker 1: the whole album, just a lot of the album this one.

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Speaker 1: First of all, have you never had a side check?

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Speaker 1: Of course I had a few. Also did she know that? Yes, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a different thing. Did they all know they were

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Speaker 1: side checks? Aren't you marry? Yeah? Now, but you're talking

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Speaker 1: about I've been a lot of a long time time.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I listen to the album and I

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Speaker 1: feel like the album represents for the girl who is

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Speaker 1: dating a guy who has another girl. But like most

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Speaker 1: side checks do, they catch feelings and then they want

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Speaker 1: to be the main So about weekend, the weekend, the

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Speaker 1: weekend there? Yeah? What else? So? Um, what was the

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Speaker 1: other record? I don't remember the names of it. That's

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Speaker 1: the only one. It seems like it's more than that,

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Speaker 1: and it seemed like you connected to that because that's

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Speaker 1: the life you live. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie though.

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Speaker 1: The weekend is this is a standout song on there though.

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Speaker 1: It is like I really did. I was listening to

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Speaker 1: it and I really loved it, and I was tweeting

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Speaker 1: about it, and now I'm doing a side check playlist

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Speaker 1: for title because of the song why One. So it's

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Speaker 1: more so I think you have to put your lips

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Speaker 1: on the mic. I told you this last time. I

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Speaker 1: don't recall thank you into um you go, We're just here.

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Speaker 1: This is a nice distance. Yes, um, I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's a male it's a male bread term where it's

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Speaker 1: like what I'm actually saying the song is my man

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Speaker 1: is your man? Like we all share the same dude

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Speaker 1: saying that I'm aware, I don't care. I'm not trying

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Speaker 1: to like I don't need to be his girl, like

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Speaker 1: not even saying that you're his girls, and none of

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Speaker 1: us are his girl. All of us are just out

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Speaker 1: here trying to get different things for different reasons. And

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Speaker 1: my particular reason is just get here and do what

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Speaker 1: you said you was gonna do on Friday and Saturday

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Speaker 1: on this particular song. All weekends as particular is the

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Speaker 1: best part of the week. And for the record that um,

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Speaker 1: this is like it's warm. I think it's like taking

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Speaker 1: the power back because it's like women just are supposed

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Speaker 1: to doing with like cry and feel weird and like

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Speaker 1: oh my god, Like I don't have no nigga, like

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Speaker 1: he's not my man. I have set which just it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Just enjoy your life focused almost important to you.

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Speaker 1: If you want to kick it with the nigga, kick

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Speaker 1: it with him. If you don't move on, like it's

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Speaker 1: not a big it doesn't have to be a thing.

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Speaker 1: So it's not about pickings being slim out here. When

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Speaker 1: it comes to men, it's just about comfortability. It's just

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Speaker 1: about like being confident in yourself because if you I

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Speaker 1: think most men don't tell women you're not my only one.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that's how you get in trouble. You gotta

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Speaker 1: be on from up top. I think you have a

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Speaker 1: rare knack for honesty. I think most men do not

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Speaker 1: possess that. Not even most men, just human beings in general.

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Speaker 1: Like I would be scared and nervous to admit the

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Speaker 1: things that I feel out loud, maybe in a one

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Speaker 1: on one room like with a dude, but on wax

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Speaker 1: it's a lot different, Like I can come clean about

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Speaker 1: all kinds of things. So I don't know. It's like

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Speaker 1: men kind of have I don't ask, don't tell policy,

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Speaker 1: you don't ask them. No, I'm saying, if you don't

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Speaker 1: ask him a specific question, they're not going to volunteer information.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you off top, I got a woman. I've

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Speaker 1: been on my woman in nineteen years. I'm letting you

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Speaker 1: know from the start, I mean used to used to. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm letting you know from the beginning. I feel like

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Speaker 1: like for certain people, like people would be like, well,

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Speaker 1: you didn't ask him if he had kids, you didn't

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Speaker 1: ask him if he was married, how'd your kids, but

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Speaker 1: just don't tell you. Have you ever had a guy

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Speaker 1: not tell you he had kids or not tell you? Loki?

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Speaker 1: Don't feel like I have dated enough dudes with kids.

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Speaker 1: I've maybe dated like one dude with kids, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know, like it was very I love kids, so

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Speaker 1: I'm not the person that you have to hide kids

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Speaker 1: round my more just like let's all play like, let's

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Speaker 1: all go somewhere. But I don't know. No, if a man,

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Speaker 1: if a man hiding his kids from you and you

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Speaker 1: find out, you gotta stop giving them, absolutely stopped talking

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Speaker 1: to him. That's over. I agree after this album. Right,

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Speaker 1: I listened to the album, I felt like you needed

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Speaker 1: a hug, like, oh no, I feel like you got

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Speaker 1: so much older, four years worth of niggas. I just,

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Speaker 1: I just I'm exasperated. No, I just it's really just

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Speaker 1: I never really talked about like relationships in a direct way.

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Speaker 1: I'm we used to be very metaphorical, very figurative, very

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Speaker 1: like um and also just kind of scared, like to

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Speaker 1: talk about the way I felt in a literal way,

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Speaker 1: like very directly. And I think all these relationships I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about are over like you needed a man for approval,

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Speaker 1: because in some of the songs it felt like you

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Speaker 1: would look for approval as to say, my ass looks bigger.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I think all women are. It's I

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Speaker 1: think from the person that it's like, it's weird. You

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Speaker 1: could be this hell confident person. But if the one

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Speaker 1: person that you want to find you beautiful doesn't find

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Speaker 1: you beautiful, it kind of doesn't mean anything, Like it

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Speaker 1: just negates all these things, even though all these things

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Speaker 1: are still true, like you're still beautiful, you're still narly like,

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Speaker 1: so I basically took this idea of you know, when

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Speaker 1: you want a man, he's unattainable, Like you want his attention,

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Speaker 1: you want his favor, you want you want to be

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Speaker 1: the apex of his taste level like all these things.

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Speaker 1: So it's just a natural feeling. It's like I've been thick,

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Speaker 1: I've been thin, I've had ass, I've lost ass, and

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Speaker 1: I felt like insecure in the process of losing weight

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Speaker 1: and losing booty. But like, you love me and you're

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Speaker 1: my friends, so I'm likely to me for today and

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Speaker 1: then tomorrow you can come clain and be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well did you have a guy that was like all

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Speaker 1: into you when you was like bigger and like he

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Speaker 1: was kind of making you feel bad about being bigger,

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Speaker 1: but when you lost the weight, he's still tried to

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Speaker 1: like play mind games with you. No, no, I actually

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Speaker 1: I am blessed to have dealt with real niggas, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't really dealt with niggas and talks like that,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't, that's crazy. Like when I was bigger,

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Speaker 1: I was actually mad at my man because it didn't

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Speaker 1: tell me that. I was just like, what, how did

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Speaker 1: you miss that? Like? But it's more so he loved

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Speaker 1: you regardless, and that was the key, and I think, um,

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Speaker 1: that's just the bottom line. And I was more so

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Speaker 1: focused on like being happy and like being in a situation.

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Speaker 1: It's more so the way you see yourself, because you know,

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Speaker 1: we don't see the world as it is received as

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Speaker 1: we are. So I felt fat, I felt ugly, I

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Speaker 1: felt undeserving. So I would look for things and like

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Speaker 1: probably like dig in places that there weren't anythings to be,

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Speaker 1: you know, to be dug. So what happened to him?

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Speaker 1: I don't know the record of what the song on

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Speaker 1: the album is about that guy, I know all of them.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm I don't know. Maybe go Gina, Maybe

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Speaker 1: go Gina. I think my dumb math listen to that

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Speaker 1: record three times last night because I try to figure

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Speaker 1: out it feels about Martin. Oh my god, I love

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Speaker 1: first of all, yes, kind of okay, yeah, Um, it's

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Speaker 1: more so like Gina. It is always like the semi

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Speaker 1: corporate kind of stuck up, but also really beautiful and

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Speaker 1: like has a sense of humor. But she looked like

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Speaker 1: she if she lived like Pam, she might have more fun,

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Speaker 1: Like you might just like just go get some get right,

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Speaker 1: like goin, like do you live your life? And like

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Speaker 1: don't be afraid to be crazy. Like remember that time

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Speaker 1: that Martin came in that party, the hotel party, and

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Speaker 1: he thought it was like a real corporate trip, but

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Speaker 1: he thought it was gonna be real. Like if that

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Speaker 1: was the energy, Like if she just played more, if

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Speaker 1: she was just like let go, Like, yeah, I see

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. On the record of anything, that's an interesting,

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Speaker 1: interesting record too, were really talking about. First of all,

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Speaker 1: the album's dope, thank you. No, it's really dope. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: But you keep your pete. Do you even know I'm alive? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you're trying to get someone's attention. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well so I feel like, see, that's why I said

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Speaker 1: you needed to hug. This album is like a release.

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Speaker 1: It's like a release from over the last four years.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been just doing music. I've been burying friends, family,

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Speaker 1: like bearing family members, bearing weight, the way I feel

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Speaker 1: about myself, the way I feel about the world, the

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Speaker 1: way I feel about God, the way I process information.

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Speaker 1: Like I've just been growing as a human being. And

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Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that I was just like kind

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Speaker 1: of in a box, Like I didn't really I was

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Speaker 1: missing a lot of worlds going on. So I think

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Speaker 1: singing from my perspective of the world, where it's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I felt like trapped in myself and

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Speaker 1: around my friends and then around like guys like I

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Speaker 1: just I couldn't explain it. It was weird. It was

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Speaker 1: like I felt very invisible around very many people. So

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Speaker 1: that's why you said, do you even know him alive?

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Speaker 1: So you're talking to a whole bunch of people talking

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Speaker 1: to myself. I'm um, it's like a lot of most

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Speaker 1: of the album is me talking to me. So if

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about saying like even for the weekend, like

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Speaker 1: a lot of these things have dual meetings, like I'm

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Speaker 1: singing from the girlfriend and from the other perspective, like

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Speaker 1: I've been a girlfriend that didn't know and I've been

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Speaker 1: a girl that didn't know that you had a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, I I don't know. It's like you

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Speaker 1: just got to sing from different points of view, like

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Speaker 1: from your where your mind is at experiences you had

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Speaker 1: exactly like the Top Dog Entertainment have anything to do

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Speaker 1: with that. What you're feeling like you're not alive because

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Speaker 1: they wouldn't give you a release date. Oh my god, No, okay,

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Speaker 1: wake up one day and kind of bug out on

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Speaker 1: him just a little bit. What happened? I did? She

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Speaker 1: just woke up one day and was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you said you want it off the label

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Speaker 1: or you like, when's my album coming out? It was ninetime,

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Speaker 1: but you know I said that I was conscious I

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Speaker 1: made I Did you regret that? Woman? What drove you

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Speaker 1: to that? Um? I'm just hella childish, and I think

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Speaker 1: when I just get caught up in some shit like

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Speaker 1: depending on what it is, like, I don't know, Like

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Speaker 1: I just felt very overwhelmed. I felt like the pressure.

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Speaker 1: It's like halfway through, I felt like people were expecting

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Speaker 1: something from me, and I was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to meet expectations, Like I'm just a human being

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Speaker 1: that's like borderline, not even sure if this is a

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Speaker 1: hobby or not, like really, and then I was I

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Speaker 1: felt I just felt like a lot of pressure and

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Speaker 1: I just felt like I didn't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: And then Punch is very like um stoic, like very chill,

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Speaker 1: but hyper chill, so where like and I ask a

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Speaker 1: lot of questions. So if I'm like, what do you

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Speaker 1: think about this? What do you think about that with it,

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Speaker 1: and he's just like, after like the fourth question, his

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Speaker 1: answer is just but I don't know. They just turned

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Speaker 1: into that. So I'm asking questions about my album and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how you feeling eating this song is strong enough?

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Speaker 1: Do you think I should get it to the song?

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Speaker 1: Any yo? At everybody? Wait nobody. It's like, I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: I'm like I need answers. I need to figure out

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Speaker 1: like where am I? Like, how do you find? He

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Speaker 1: just wanted to answer me, not just And that was awesome.

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Speaker 1: To day I watched somebody like passed away for the

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Speaker 1: first time. It was really crazy. I was hello, emotional,

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Speaker 1: I was hello over it, and then I'm also a scorpio,

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Speaker 1: which should just like just add that up. Who called

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Speaker 1: you first after you put that out there? Who was

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Speaker 1: the first call that you got? That's how I think

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Speaker 1: nobody even called me because I think they were just

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Speaker 1: like they were like but a like but on something

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Speaker 1: like if she is she wild? Like is she okay?

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Speaker 1: Or I think everyone just assumed that I was wild

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Speaker 1: and I was gonna be fine, but nobody hit you.

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Speaker 1: I talked, of course, top like outside of the obvious

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Speaker 1: the top, I spoke to dit I spoke to Punch

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Speaker 1: that night and that I don't know. I think they

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Speaker 1: didn't even say anything. They just listened to me. And

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Speaker 1: that's all you need some time, somebody to listen. Yeah. Now,

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Speaker 1: think about when you first signed to TV and how

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Speaker 1: you are now. Yeah, it was a lot of artists

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Speaker 1: development for you. So what does artist development actually mean?

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Speaker 1: I mean it means see that like you put out,

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Speaker 1: you put out. No, I really don't know. If I

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Speaker 1: always wanted to know, I can ask you because it's right,

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Speaker 1: you know, because like even just the way that you dress,

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Speaker 1: the way that you present yourself, the confidence that you

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Speaker 1: have now I'm locky, also very nervous right however, now,

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Speaker 1: because when I first met to you, gotta think like

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Speaker 1: you probably had no idea what it was that you

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Speaker 1: really were going to put out, like just even your

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Speaker 1: music from early on, and how I progressed to now

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Speaker 1: you being able to open up and be honest about

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Speaker 1: two experiences like at this table with y'all. I just

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Speaker 1: thought that was but I don't know, I just didn't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, But that's artist development, even just writing

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Speaker 1: for other people. I don't agree with that. I think

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Speaker 1: you just you just grow as a human being. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think anybody at TV could

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Speaker 1: teach you how to be No, no, no, not that

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Speaker 1: they teach you. But I think sometimes people want to

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Speaker 1: sign people there they're ready to put out right now,

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Speaker 1: they already have everything ready and for you, it was

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Speaker 1: more like you discovering yourself and people need time to

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Speaker 1: do that and it is time to grow. I commend

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Speaker 1: my label because we didn't know that I needed time

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Speaker 1: to do that. They definitely, I can't like they didn't

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Speaker 1: know that I needed time to like build all that.

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Speaker 1: They just supported me the way I was. And even

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Speaker 1: when I gained weight and lost weight and stopped lotioning

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Speaker 1: and started lotioning, like I had to call my hair,

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Speaker 1: I'm not coming my hair, I'm getting bracest. I'm not

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Speaker 1: getting bracest. Like just went through mad different phases of

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Speaker 1: wilding out like being me, and I think they just

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Speaker 1: supported me every time when I wanted to start a

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Speaker 1: holding song for the album, right and she's just like, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's find on the studio because some labels will just

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Speaker 1: drop you if it doesn't work out right away. No,

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Speaker 1: it was they were so like literally like me wilding

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Speaker 1: out on Twitter, and like, bring a brat will get

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Speaker 1: me drop quicker than wilding out looking crazy in the

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Speaker 1: world they're needing artist development, Like I'm not giving you

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Speaker 1: a release they needed if you're an ashy woman. But

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Speaker 1: a girl cannot be sitting in the studio crazy. Now

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Speaker 1: she exfoliates and she does a little bit what makes

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Speaker 1: you But I don't want to just like it looks

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Speaker 1: like an extra five whole minutes if I now his

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00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:06,880
Speaker 1: body oil and him boil and coconut oil and lots

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Speaker 1: of oils and shape, but but not still not every day,

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Speaker 1: like I can't. It's still like a task, like I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you like five whole minutes to get your whole body.

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Speaker 1: Because first of all, okay, this is funny if you

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Speaker 1: think about how you mectans in the way that those work.

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Speaker 1: You got a lotion while you wet so that you

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Speaker 1: like keep the moisture in right, But it's like now

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Speaker 1: I gotta air dry, and it's like this is now

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes into my I gotta go, So now I'm

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Speaker 1: not lotioning from a woman. No woman have to take

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Speaker 1: a little bit of extra time. No, No, If I

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Speaker 1: was fifteen minutes late. You would you would say, rather

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Speaker 1: you put take the time to put lotion on your elbow. Time.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's talk about the sound of this album. You

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Speaker 1: said you change the sound of this album, and listen

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Speaker 1: to you, there's nothing like this album out that I've

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Speaker 1: heard in a while. So why did you what makes

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00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 1: you change the sound of the album and why? Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I consciously changed the sound. I think

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Speaker 1: I just didn't know what my son was. Like I

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Speaker 1: didn't know who I was, or what I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make son of, or what I was trying to achieve,

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Speaker 1: or what I was attracted to sonically, Like I think

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Speaker 1: music was like a separate entity and I was just

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Speaker 1: over here being me, but I didn't know how to

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Speaker 1: conjoin the two or like merge me into the way

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Speaker 1: that I process music. So me singing and falsetto and

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Speaker 1: whispering being hellometaphorical and dealing with reverb, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: have any introduction in music. So if all I know

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Speaker 1: is plugins, and like let's just put thirteen in them,

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00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 1: hose on there and turned all these backgrounds up, and

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00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 1: like it's a song, Like that's all I knew. So

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Speaker 1: now learning about songs, and like when you turn down

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Speaker 1: all the reverb and all the plugins and all the

320
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Speaker 1: stacks and all these things, like you left just with

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Speaker 1: your voice and your thoughts, and then now you kind

322
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,080
Speaker 1: of have to say something. You don't have to say anything,

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Speaker 1: but you have to meet it. So the easiest thing

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Speaker 1: to say is the truth. On Supermodel, you said you

325
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Speaker 1: said you've been secretly banging your dude's homeboy interview that

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Speaker 1: I was supposed to First of all, I supposed to

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Speaker 1: go through all these songs in a very tender, safe

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Speaker 1: place face and now I feel I feel its hacked.

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Speaker 1: I did not. I didn't come up with any any explanation.

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Speaker 1: I respect the honesty. I respect the truth attack I wrote,

331
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Speaker 1: but you said you've been secretly banging your dudes. Yeah,

332
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 1: own boy, it was. It wasn't at all. It happened once,

333
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 1: I hope, So tell it. You got to tell this story.

334
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 1: He had an orgy in Vegas. His man's called me

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00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,560
Speaker 1: and told me that they were having kind I don't

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00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,960
Speaker 1: know his man was hanging on him as much as

337
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 1: his man was comfortable with me, like I was friends

338
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Speaker 1: with his friends, like his friends were like my son.

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00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 1: That's fast so they so they felt like but they

340
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 1: told me on something like say his friends like your son. Yes,

341
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 1: it was like an accident, like because you know, it

342
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,280
Speaker 1: was like if you like, if I'm nurturing right, hold on,

343
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 1: So your your man's homeboy called you to tell you

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00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 1: that your man was having it, but it didn't come

345
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 1: out like that, and you rewarded him with pussy. No no, no,

346
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 1: he was doing that and you were at home. No,

347
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 1: oh my god. So it was another guy. You have

348
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,560
Speaker 1: to clear my character first, Okay, Okay, I did not

349
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,880
Speaker 1: sleep with the boy that told me to snitch, right, Okay, Faul,

350
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 1: you shouldn't trust him in Hi, I'm pretty sure I

351
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:20,399
Speaker 1: can't trust any of them. And then it's kind of

352
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 1: the bottom like that. So it was this boy that

353
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Speaker 1: I just like, a boy that I liked and I've

354
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,680
Speaker 1: been seeing and we had like been kind of talking

355
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Speaker 1: and like I wasn't giving him any play because I

356
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Speaker 1: liked my boyfriend and should I wanted him to like me,

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00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,159
Speaker 1: and then he just didn't. On the Ventaine's Day, he

358
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,199
Speaker 1: like aimed me with a value. It was crazy. He

359
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 1: aimed me, didn't call me, didn't text me, He aimed

360
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 1: me on top of the orgy phone call. So I'm

361
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 1: just like aim anymore. It was crazy. Well this was

362
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 1: back then. This is all old. Yeah, of course you

363
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 1: don't get a man back like that, though you can't.

364
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm no matter. It wasn't intentional, it was just now

365
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 1: it's the song. The song is more intentional than the action, right,

366
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: the songs time exactly. I was mad as hell on

367
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 1: some scorpio shit quite long ago. I would never wish

368
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 1: that on me. Did you tell them? Did you tell

369
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Speaker 1: the girl? No? But y'all just did so. First of all,

370
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Speaker 1: most of the people that I've dated are so arrogant.

371
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 1: They would never even assume that this is about them.

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Speaker 1: They'd be like, it wants to be about No, they're

373
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,160
Speaker 1: still arrogant. They're gonna think it. No, absolutely not. They'd

374
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,680
Speaker 1: be like, I know, she's not about it. She would

375
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 1: never trip on me like that or whatever. The dude

376
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 1: who smashed on Valentine's they definitely gonna say, so, it's

377
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 1: the most arrogant. He'll be like, who that? Like? I wonder,

378
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 1: it's definitely that's I'm sure that you start off doving

379
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 1: to win. That's the record with Kendrick, right, that's you

380
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,680
Speaker 1: started off by saying, niggas do not deserve pussy. Real

381
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 1: niggas right reserve so much everyone kinds of the pussy sign.

382
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Put it way more pussy in

383
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 1: it than I did. It was like, get the whole box.

384
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 1: It was mild before he came exactly what does that mean?

385
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 1: Real niggas don't deserve pussy? I'm so the next sentences

386
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 1: meaning it's more you see right through walls. Ain't talking

387
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,679
Speaker 1: about pussy, so saying like, meaning you deserve more pussy?

388
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 1: Is it's connected to me. It's a thing. There's a

389
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 1: lot more that I can give you. Besides all that

390
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 1: not real? That's what I was like. That's another When

391
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 1: I kept rewinding, I'm like, what is she trying to

392
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 1: Meaning it's more you see right through walls, so seeing

393
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 1: through my walls, like the walls I put up, like

394
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 1: emotional walls, mental walls, emotional issues I don't even know

395
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: I have that you be putting up with. That's what

396
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: happens when you give the pussy first. All give the

397
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 1: pussy first, and don't give a guy a chance to

398
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 1: know you. Right then all he sees is the pussy

399
00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 1: in the beginning. It's kind of hard to go. It's

400
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: kind of it's kind of hard to go backwards, you

401
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like, once I hit didn't you

402
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 1: want me to get to know you? Right? It happens

403
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, all right, now let me what

404
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 1: was it like meeting Rizza? I love I love his

405
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 1: turtlenecks ful turtlenecks. Um. He's very He's exactly, he's like

406
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: a character, like a movie character. He's brilliant. He's like

407
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 1: he's got hella different fast, He's multi faceted as fuck,

408
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,959
Speaker 1: and in a way that you can like quantify. So

409
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 1: like if you'd be like, yo, can I get some

410
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,959
Speaker 1: Bobby Digital Plus like Today's math plus a little bit,

411
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 1: people like okay, and then like go into this yeah,

412
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 1: and he'll just go off into that and then like

413
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:42,120
Speaker 1: but he's also like very warm and like nostalgically parental.

414
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,120
Speaker 1: It's weird. Were you a fan because you were young?

415
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 1: Like you didn't. My sister was a heavy wood Tang

416
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 1: and I just caught the wind. Basically, my sister is

417
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: like my introduction every sound like because she used to

418
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: listen to Tupac and Wood Tang and Little John like

419
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: bone cars just a lot of aggressive music. She's from California,

420
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: but she moved into Jersey, so she's taken all her

421
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 1: like West Coast influences and bringing them where I live.

422
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: And I don't know, like when I each drop and

423
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 1: see what I can see and just take whatever I can,

424
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: I just get like I'm very easily obsessed. So I

425
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 1: just woo. Was very like cool to me. They were

426
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: so that's why you call yourself the Scissa. Well that

427
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 1: was actually I feel like that kind of um. It's weird,

428
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: like how things kind of folding to each other and

429
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 1: then just start to make sense. It kind of My

430
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: name is Selana. My friends call me sos for sure,

431
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: which is like so Sa. But at the time Chief

432
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 1: Keith had just came out and it was he was

433
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: like Sosa and it was crazy, like I can't be Soca.

434
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:48,199
Speaker 1: Also so Easy was Soca too? Yeah? Easy Mum. I

435
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 1: love the trailer too. By the way, I thought that

436
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: was genius, just having resident voices because you know, as

437
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: a as an older guy, I think scissor, that's what

438
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 1: I automatically think. Residents and all that stuff. We just

439
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: it was people call me for that first all on

440
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: there were like bitch, you're not a WOUE tang. Yeah,

441
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 1: it's crazy. They're like, you're not a WOE member. Who

442
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: are you? No? On Love Galore, that's another dope record.

443
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 1: You're scolding a man for being with you when he

444
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: got a woman. And I was listening to it saying,

445
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 1: you know it takes two right, which you mean if

446
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, she's saying she's a lot of times

447
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 1: she's from You're real honest um. So basically it's one

448
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,959
Speaker 1: of those casual situations where you see a dude in

449
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: public and he's always trying to like be cool with

450
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: you or whatever the case may be, and he won't

451
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: admit that he has a girlfriend. Everyone told you he

452
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 1: has a girlfriend. Your own eyes kind of make you

453
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: feel like he has a girlfriend. But then like you,

454
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: it's just like what is this? Like it's annoying, but

455
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: it's also like all right whatever. So the song is

456
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: more so about like when I said you're crew, No,

457
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 1: your crew better than you do. So this is speaking

458
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 1: in this same sense of the dude telling because I

459
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 1: know your friends like I do your friends laundry, I've

460
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 1: cooked for your friends niggas, So I'm just like so

461
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: and I'm just saying, like this is it just be

462
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: like that it sounds Sometimes dudes are wildfout say why

463
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: bother me when you know you don't want why? Right? No,

464
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 1: but how do you know if it's about hitting, it's

465
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: about you ain't want the idea of me. The video

466
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: was very sexy, by the way. Yeah, I was a

467
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 1: what do you call this here? Your man's here doing orgy? Like?

468
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: Was that? Oh my god? It was so it had

469
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: it slipped out, slip It was an accident, not slipped out,

470
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,239
Speaker 1: slipped No, No, he was on I'm like, oh my god.

471
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: I was like, are you guys having a good time?

472
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh my god, don't you were

473
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: having such a good time and were where this mansion

474
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: and we're having and it just didn't slip out, slipped out.

475
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 1: I think he was definitely on something as well, so

476
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,479
Speaker 1: he was in a very good mood and these are

477
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 1: like that damn it. And that's how that happened. And

478
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: I was like, oh is that crazy? So crazy time?

479
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: Have you ever cheated? Um, you're talking about album? Yes?

480
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, yes, But I feel like I'm justified for

481
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: the for the for the reasons I and honestly, like,

482
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: if if a dude is not cheating you as this girl,

483
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: if he's who knows, if he's claiming you in every circle,

484
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: if he's having orgies, who knows if he's having orgies,

485
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: who knows if he's even considering you in the same

486
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: way that you're seeing him as a man who like

487
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: you're not his girl in his brain? So did I

488
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: cheat on anyone because you didn't have a you trying?

489
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: Told you, told everyone you didn't have a girl. Ain't

490
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 1: told me you didn't have a girl. No, No, that's

491
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: your guilt talking again. I'm talking to you, I was

492
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: talking to you. I would never are seeing somebody now

493
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: huh um um um for this album. No, lord knows, no,

494
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: I uh. I was trying to explain what my seeing

495
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: someone situation, right, I feel like right now, I'm very

496
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: I'm in a space where I've never been in this

497
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: place before in my life, and I don't know anything

498
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: about myself. So I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about

499
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: and honestly, I think I was in a lot of

500
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 1: these unhealthy relationships because I didn't have enough self love,

501
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 1: like built up so and I found when I fixed

502
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: the way I felt a boy myself, like these situations

503
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: didn't happen to me anymore, Like I haven't dealt with

504
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: a trife dude, and so long, like and so long,

505
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: and I'm super blessed and grateful for that, but I

506
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: do know. So why would you tolerate? Would you tolerate

507
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: what you or even what you believe in, what you

508
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 1: want to hold on to to be lonely? Like you said,

509
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: you can't just gonna be on me, but you also

510
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: can't be afraid to like let your pride go because

511
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: he could do all these things and because your homegirls say,

512
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: don't mess with him. You don't want to mess him anymore,

513
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: but you can only now like this makes no sense,

514
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: Like you still love him, he still loves you, Like

515
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: these things are workable. People are human beings, People grow,

516
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: people change anything as possible. So it's like it's kind

517
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: of just in a realm of I don't know, I'm

518
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: just chilling. You can't trust guys at this point, you

519
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: in your career, after sexy, Now you don't got all

520
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 1: sexy and glowing up on him. You got an album

521
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: coming out. People know you're about to blow somebody out here,

522
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 1: Gonna try to trap you. I cannot. I simply cannot

523
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 1: now like a right you say that somebody actively that.

524
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: The more I listen, I like, um, you're classy for

525
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: like forty minutes and I was like, wow, this is

526
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 1: so long. I like, I like, I like normal girl too.

527
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: Thank you. I almost took that off. Really yeah, I

528
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: feel like that's what you was talking about a little

529
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,399
Speaker 1: while ago, because tell me if I'm wrong, because my

530
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: interpretation might be different. But it sounded like you were

531
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: waiting for a man to get his ship together and

532
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: make an honest woman out of you know, if you're

533
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: saying normal girl, if you're saying you load the way up,

534
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: pop my top of how I lose my cool, of

535
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: how I look at you saying like I'll be wilding

536
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 1: and you love that shit. So I'm a headache. I'm

537
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: stressful and it's just the way I am. But I'm

538
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: also fun as hell and we're gonna do this for

539
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 1: as long as you want to do it. That's all

540
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: that is. But saying normal girl like feeling like I've

541
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: always wanted to be. I feel like the dudes that

542
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: I ended up dating, we're always dating like this like

543
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: arch type where it was like several degrees very aristocratic,

544
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: like very like super conservative and reserve, were like a

545
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,360
Speaker 1: mean press out and like very like just something very

546
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: crazy and nice skin and drink hell of water and

547
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: like a lot of credentials. And I know it's a

548
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: long list, but nobody it is true like for those

549
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 1: of the kind of girls like and I don't know

550
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 1: why I always end up dating dudes that they like

551
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: the craziest of women, and I think, like on the

552
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: positive scale. Um So that was me feeling like like,

553
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: though these are normal girls to you, this is what

554
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 1: you consider a normal girl. I wish I wasn't normal

555
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: girl because I'm not. I'm not organized. I don't make

556
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: sense a lot of times. And again I'll be wilding

557
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 1: by am. So it's just that you said that three times.

558
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: What does you wild like that? But I'm some like

559
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: like I adventure really hard and I play really hard.

560
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: So like I went to Mexico, got hit by a car,

561
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 1: but continue my trap, had a fantastic time. But we

562
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 1: were racing. No no what they come out with them guns.

563
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 1: You're gonna walk away from whatever happened to you because

564
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: you don't want to be caught up in a mass

565
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: and I was just racing with my friend on some

566
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: other cycles and she hit like a backstreet and I

567
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: was trying to cut her off and I couldn't, so

568
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: I went around and then this taxi just came inside

569
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: swept me, and I just I was in a g

570
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: stret and coming from the beach right. All of a sudden,

571
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: all these policies came with like very large guns and

572
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: they were just paid a thousand dollars. About that was

573
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: it with my life. Even though I got hit, I

574
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: was just limping. I'm just like, it's all cool. I

575
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: don't even care. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. No,

576
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: I had my ankle, my arm, my scrapes, uh, my

577
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: rib and then I had like Monta Zuma's revenge the

578
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: next day, diarrhea for nine hours. It was Oh, it

579
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,959
Speaker 1: was just so crazy, Sime. No. I drove to Ply

580
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: to doll Karmen. I was in tuloom Oh and I

581
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: just went there. I was in there. I first of all,

582
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: my fat, It is a very offensive word. Don't say that.

583
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 1: Tell them don't call fat big. You look all those

584
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: other agities you had in your rolling deck, just prepared

585
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: so you was medium sized. I'm just trying to imagine

586
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: you medium sized on the toilet. I was larger than

587
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: I am now. I was in I had a great

588
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: I love this, but I didn't get sick. I didn't

589
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: get sick in too Loom was fine, but I wanted

590
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: to do water sports because I'm extra. And I drove

591
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: into ply do Karmen and yeah, I was having a

592
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: great time. My mouth was open and I was just screaming,

593
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: like having a great time in the jet skis, and

594
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: I just why wouldn't a guy like that? That's all

595
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: like fun, especially if you're paying for it. Because I

596
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: also got him hit on a car in Mexico. Hold on,

597
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: you got him hit too. Yeah, he was on the

598
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: back of a car, on the back of the bike

599
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: with you. Yeah, but that's what do you get He

600
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: should have been driving the bike. What the hell? Drive

601
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: the bike? Drive better. I'm not going to risk this

602
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: race for you. Just hang on. Yeah, and we are.

603
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: Are you still writing for other people? Oh my god? Um,

604
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: I think I'm like ready now. I don't think I

605
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: was ready before when people were asking you to write,

606
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: because I'd never written for anybody before. But now I think, um,

607
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 1: I'm kind of developing. I think everybody has a different

608
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: way that they communicate with the world and via music

609
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: in general. And I did figure out the way that

610
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: I communicated with the world and what my like form

611
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 1: of musical communication was. And I think before I could

612
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: really write for someone with confidence. And now, you know,

613
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: it's like you have to find a style. Like if

614
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: you don't have a style, then you're kind of writing

615
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: for other people with them in mind, Like what would

616
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: you say? But I think honesty and you know, all

617
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: those words coming from a place that counts for everybody,

618
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: Like it's about how you know everybody, not just how

619
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: you know you. So I just had to figure out

620
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 1: what my style was, how I communicate what I feel,

621
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: what I know like and just streamline it in some way,

622
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: but like keep it. I don't know. I just had

623
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: to learn more about myself before I could write for

624
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: other people. I'm reading now, is that your grandma or

625
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: your mom giving your advice? Granny and my mom? Yeah, okay,

626
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: I thought different people. Yeah they sound like the gs.

627
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: I have the best family in the world, And I'm

628
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: sure everyone has a beautiful family, right giving you like

629
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,479
Speaker 1: a lot of advice on guys, you tell him everything, like, um,

630
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: I never was crazy, and I spent my whole life

631
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: not asking my mother about men and or ask my

632
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: grandmother and or ask my father. Nobody talked to me

633
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: about or my sister about men in my entire life,

634
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: and I think I've had more focus on activities or

635
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: what I wanted to do and my sort of my family,

636
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: like they ever talk to me about esthetic or being

637
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: attractive or which I like resented when I got older,

638
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: because I'm like, damn, I wish tobody just put me

639
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 1: on on how to like polish up like I mean

640
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: now and again when I really wanted to. I was

641
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: an athlete exactly. That's they just put him in sports.

642
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: You ain't got time for boys. You just practicing all days,

643
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: so we ain't got to have that cup athlete. Oh no, yeah,

644
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: definitely still an astley athlete. I Um, I don't know.

645
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: I think so the way gain had to be hard

646
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: because you had a gymnast, so you always thin. I

647
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: was muscle, I was butuffed. I was very like I

648
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: was very heavy even as a gymnast, and I ran track.

649
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: So I have like very would you in too? Um?

650
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: I have very like dense squads and a lot of

651
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: like muscle memory. So that packed on with like eating

652
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: and everything else was just like very heavy and very

653
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: difficult to get off because two hundred feels like two

654
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: twenty when you have leg, muscles or anything else involved.

655
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: It was crazy. Was it a lot of scress? Eating? Yes?

656
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: I love eating when on my mind. I just like

657
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: I'm born, I want to eat. I'm sad, I want

658
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: to eat. I'm happy. Let's eat like it's just now

659
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: we can go shopping exactly, Let's shop and eat. So

660
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: with your with your man, your prior man. You're very competitive,

661
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: like you compete on everything when it comes to your man. No, no,

662
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: my man. Both. Why you say that, I mean because

663
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: you're an athlete, so that's what you've basically been trained

664
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: to do. So no matter what it is, what your man,

665
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: you got to be better. I'm gonna make you come first.

666
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 1: Nobody wa No woman wants that. A real man let

667
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 1: you come first, but you don't ever let him win.

668
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: My god, my mother's gonna see this. She definitely told me.

669
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: After love girls, she said, don't do that shit no more.

670
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: This counts. Is that this whole conversation, I'm not listening,

671
00:33:54,200 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: but go ahead. Um, yes I am I'm very competitive

672
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: and I can't help it. It's weird. I didn't even notice.

673
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: I like Jess realize that with man because but it's exciting.

674
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: It's like healthy. It's like you slay, I slay, I

675
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 1: slay you, like now come catch up and then like

676
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: we'll go back and it'll be like whatever, like look

677
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: what I got, I gotta do this, you got do that.

678
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: It's just it's fun. And I guess tracking and being

679
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 1: a gymnasist really a one on one competition. It's not

680
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: like a you know, it's weird. It like it is,

681
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: and it's not because it's like you have to represent

682
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: your group. You have to not embarrass the people that

683
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 1: you with. But it's like and if you shine too

684
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: hard people don't like you, then you kind of like

685
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: out your group and then it's like life really, but

686
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: it's like your points and your details and everything that

687
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: you prepared for is like for right now, but it

688
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: also reflects on a whole like of humanity and society.

689
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I just don't play yourself. Well,

690
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,439
Speaker 1: why was m Drew barrymore and inspiration to you? Because

691
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: you got the record and then she picked you up.

692
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: I think it was you don't Kimmel, right, Yeah, I

693
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: did play Kimel. And then she went valid or something

694
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: and said, um, she's so nice, she's amazing, But why

695
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: she's an inspiration to people do a whole record named

696
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: after a whole three minute Yeah? Um, Basically, I think

697
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: when she came out there was something very interesting or

698
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: when I was younger, like I feel like all the

699
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: actresses of that time, like we're all the white actresses

700
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: of that time, like the Nicole Kidman's and like the

701
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: Michelle Peiffers and the like the very like you know,

702
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: like polished, so polished, Like the hands looked like you remember,

703
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 1: like cartoon hands and like creativille like, but they looked

704
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 1: like that. Or even Glenn Close, like Glenn Close wasn't

705
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 1: like the epitome of you know, textbook beauty and fatal attraction,

706
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: but she was still white and blonde and wore all

707
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: white and like angelic like this was the idea. And

708
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 1: with Drew was just kind of like she's quirky, she

709
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,799
Speaker 1: has crooked teeth, she has a belly laugh like she

710
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: really laughed from here. It's a giggle. It's like she

711
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: has a list. I have a list, like she's made

712
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: me feel I related to her characters a lot, like

713
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: an incredible life growing up too, like as I did. Yeah,

714
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: and she beat drugs. She was on drugs real, it

715
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: was like a child start going to parties and all

716
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 1: kinds of crazy stuff when she was really yeah classic, Yeah.

717
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: It just made me feel I'm a goofy like person,

718
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: and I think I attached talk I love living single

719
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: for the same reason like attaching to Kadijo or Sinclair

720
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: like for those because they're hella goofy, and that's just

721
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: how I get down. Like it's just it's just a yeah,

722
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: I give you had any black female like Felicious shot

723
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 1: tons of those. It's just a matter of when I

724
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 1: think of movies, and like I'm thinking of usually like fashion,

725
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 1: hair and energy for movies and like visual like what

726
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 1: inspires me. So when I think of like Drew Barrymore,

727
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: I think of what poison ivy And when she's swinging

728
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: on that swing and like her hair to the side,

729
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: and like she's kind of in a dark place, but

730
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: she's like kind of sad, she's lonely, she wants more.

731
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: She's with this girl that seems to have a perfect life.

732
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: Who's also rather boring, and she's over her life too,

733
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 1: like it's weird. She's like dysfunctional on some weird sexual

734
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: devi and shit, like she's just weird. So it just

735
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: made me feel like this dark beat and my friends

736
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: make everything from scratch, so when they play the chords

737
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: and like all that, it just kind of builds and

738
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: you start to see a show in your head. Did

739
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: you grow upround a lot of white people in jail?

740
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: I did? Yeah? Is that kind of why you your

741
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 1: images of beauty are like white women? I guess, Wait,

742
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: what makes you think mit one song after a white

743
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: woman a very mixed environment, Mima is a beauty were

744
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: after a white woman? My hair would not be textured? No, no,

745
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,959
Speaker 1: I um no. I think, if anything, growing up around

746
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:51,240
Speaker 1: white people just made me under like just see different

747
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 1: facets of what I've seen all kind of white people.

748
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: I think if it comes to the loving, warm, accepting,

749
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: I've seen some ignorance in all shape, I've seen some

750
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: hate've seen some really sad things. I've seen support and

751
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: all colors and shade. So I just I think, if anything,

752
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 1: it just kind of I've had a weird experience, Like

753
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: even in gymnastics, Like my hair doesn't slick back like

754
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: y'all's like the spragletter don't look the same. I have

755
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: a different build, like you know, black girls are just

756
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 1: built different, Like I have body, Like I'm on this

757
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 1: team and I'm and I'm still small because I'm a gymnast,

758
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: but I'm kind of shapely and I'm in a leotard

759
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 1: and my legs are out and it's like it's a

760
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: different experience for me, so I think, and in my

761
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 1: girl Scout troupe, like being the only black girls more so,

762
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've had I had a beautiful experience.

763
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: I've had some learning experiences. I've had some unfortunate experiences

764
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: with white people that could contribute to your insecurity at all.

765
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: Um No, I don't think white people in particular contribute

766
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: to my insecurity. I think society, myself and the way

767
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: that I think self love is a very weird thing

768
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: to try to teach your kids because it's kind of

769
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: led by example only, like and they kind of pick

770
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: up on and absorb it, and like my parents are

771
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 1: so like their corporate and accomplished and like all these

772
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,479
Speaker 1: other things. I don't know, like we just didn't really.

773
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: I never really took time to build my confidence at all,

774
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: like ever, so I think I don't know. And my

775
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 1: homegirls like I was very I was also very comfortable,

776
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 1: like being the meek like I don't know, like the

777
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: goofy wan, like I'm I'm the friend like I was.

778
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: I was always okay like being that. And my friends

779
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 1: were so beautiful and they dressed well and like they

780
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: would give me pointers and like call my baby hair

781
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: and whatever else they felt like dressing me up in

782
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: for the day. But I think the insecurities just came from,

783
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's just the way I was built.

784
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 1: I think I've always been that way when I was

785
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: a gymnast. Yeah, well, I mean I think who's good now,

786
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 1: Who's like, who's one hundred percent good now? All the time,

787
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 1: I think I'm very happy with the way my life

788
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: is shaping. I feel very blessed. I'm super happy to

789
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: not be um as unhelp because I was before. I'm

790
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: happy that I feel like I have a choice when

791
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: I see pasta um um, how do you feel about

792
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: that album? Was a bad day? I don't know, I

793
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I said it was good. I was really

794
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: happy to say that, because I was like, really, um,

795
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,919
Speaker 1: I mean I tried to we have this backup plan

796
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 1: right to where this backup plan and me and stage

797
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 1: made a backup plan to where if I couldn't, if

798
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,479
Speaker 1: I couldn't like handle releasing the album because I didn't

799
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: like it, that I would release a photo of me

800
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: listening to the album and just explain that I finished it,

801
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: explain what it's all about, and then just like leave

802
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: it at It's like that with the once you created,

803
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: it's almost just up for public consumption now, like you

804
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: do your best work and then you got to release work.

805
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: And that was my issue, I think a matter of

806
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: like I think when I was younger, I was very

807
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: quick and excited to be like like I'm special, Like

808
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm good at this, I'm listening to that. But like

809
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: when you get older, you started to real that's how

810
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: small you are in the world, and you're not like

811
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: all of us are special, but none of us are

812
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: more special than the other, like at all. But and

813
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 1: it's just it's just interesting, Like it's very humbling, it's

814
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 1: very and then it's weird. It's a fine line between

815
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: humbling and like crippling because it's like when you realize

816
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: that you're not the ship, or like you're not you

817
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 1: know everything you think you are, but there's a lot

818
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: of room to grow. It's very inspiring and exciting, but

819
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: it's also like, have I done enough growing yet to

820
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: go back in the world, Like, am I prepared to

821
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: be in this place? And I think that's kind of

822
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: where I was. My father would always say, you're never

823
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 1: as good as they say you are, and you're never

824
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: as bad as they say you are. I like that,

825
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: that's just the mentality to have. Definitely putting this album out,

826
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: there's no listening to it. I've gone now when you're

827
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 1: not going to put it out, like, I think it's dope.

828
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,439
Speaker 1: Women are Women are going to love this album because

829
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: I told you I felt like a lot of emotions

830
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: when I was listening to it, because there's a lot

831
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: of situations that we've all been in and not too

832
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: many songs that we have that we can relate it to.

833
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: What's the day Friday? This Friday? I'm R and B

834
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: head like, I love Ericado, I love Flowetry like I

835
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: love Marching Ambrosis. As a solo artist, I love Jill Scott,

836
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: A love Salon this is kind of this is in

837
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: that vein the twenty somethings is the perfect anthem too.

838
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 1: I think for for a lot of twenty somethings just

839
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: trying to just trying to figure it out. I feel

840
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: that way that was an exercise or writing exercise. Is

841
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 1: that a constant struggle? Are you looking forward to the

842
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: thirties that you just working it out now? I don't know.

843
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: I feel rash. Chake your time, girl. One punch is

844
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: mad at me. He just tells me I'm the thirty

845
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 1: just when to make me feel bad, like just what

846
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 1: do you mean? What? I know? It's terrible when you

847
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: tell when I feel he's mad at me, and it

848
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: feels like I'm being immature, Like he's just be like, dude,

849
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: he's thirty, and it'll just be like, wow, this is terrible.

850
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: I can't be just no, like to make me feel

851
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: like it be more mature. He's saying, like I need

852
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 1: to get off. But I think, um my twenty have

853
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: been the most like a violet weird experience. Violent. Violent

854
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 1: doesn't have to mean physical. Violence doesn't have to mean blood, gore, guts,

855
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: the literal. It could be violent. You've never feel like

856
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 1: something is jolting, like emotionally abrasive. It's like it's been

857
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: visually abrasive. I think for right now, for anyone who's

858
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: in their twenties and watching the state of the world

859
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: and their teens and their any age is on some

860
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: whole other shit right now, it just feels crazy. So

861
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 1: I think my twenties has just been a lot of learning.

862
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 1: Like I'm sure I have quite a bit ago before thirty,

863
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 1: but by thirty, I'm trying to chill on, like, you

864
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: gotta get all your get a fine, don't take this

865
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: the wrong way, but you have to get all your

866
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 1: holing out before thirty like anything, No, no, you gotta

867
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: get it. You gotta get it out before third whatever.

868
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: My aunt, no, my aunt, you do whatever. You. My

869
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: aunt called me and was just like, I'm gonna go

870
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: see this man and this is not but she's not.

871
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: She's so conservative, she's not like but but it made me.

872
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: She's just like she's comfortable and confident and established and

873
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 1: paid like so she's just doing what she wants. So

874
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: I just thought older women just be doing well. Your

875
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: album is very confident and very in control, So that's

876
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: a good sign. How you going on tour, I am

877
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,240
Speaker 1: thank god, Finally I'm tired of singing the same songs.

878
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm bored with my own music. Finally

879
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 1: I'm going and I'm going to rehearse, and I'm really

880
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 1: excited this time. I think last time with tour, I

881
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing. I never performed alive.

882
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: I never even knew that I sang full voice. That

883
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: was an accident that I found out on tour, which

884
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 1: is how this album kind of came around with the sound,

885
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 1: like not knowing that I was singing in falsetto in

886
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: a much lower tone. When you're live with a loud

887
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 1: ass band, you have to like yo over them in

888
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: order to hear yourself, et cetera. So I don't know

889
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: that kind of like blended. We don't know what you're

890
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: talking about, but somebody she's learning, she's learning, and she's

891
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: saying she might either that. I not know that because

892
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: I didn't know with me. No, I just talking about

893
00:44:55,080 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: tour job after nine eleven, That is semi true. Yes, no, yeah, so, um,

894
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: my parents my mother's Christian and my father's Muslim, so

895
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 1: I would wear my jab whenever. My mom was very

896
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,280
Speaker 1: supportive like I went to Muslim prep school on Fridays,

897
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 1: I went to do MYI with my dad, and I

898
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: felt very my dad kind of ran my household. So

899
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: that's just kind of the way everybody went. But I

900
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: still would go to church my mom every other Sunday

901
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: or et cetera, because my dad is understanding and a

902
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 1: human being. Um So I don't know when nine to

903
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: eleven happened. It was just like I don't know, like

904
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: it became a thing, and I didn't know it was

905
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: a thing. Like kids were very like yeah, and they

906
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 1: were very sure about the way that they felt about me,

907
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: or about the religion or about Islam, or like the idea.

908
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: And as kids, they thought it was like a very

909
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: separate thing, like you don't believe in God, you believe

910
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: in a lot when like the exact literally the translation,

911
00:45:55,920 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: like it just means God, it's another word. And I think, um,

912
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: kids main kids paired with fear and ignorance and like

913
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: that was a very traumatizing thing that happened to all

914
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 1: of us. Like as a kid, we had to sit

915
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 1: down and have an assembly, like and everybody talked about that.

916
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: So it's like, in hindsight, it pains me to see

917
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 1: all this like Islamophobia growing and like snowballing and all

918
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 1: the bandwagoning, because I know the damage that that can

919
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: really cause and where that comes from. It comes from

920
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: a place of ignorance and fear. Now I'm a place

921
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: of I don't even know. You know, nobody wants to

922
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 1: be that hateful or that, but nobody wants to be

923
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: that scared either. So it's just like, I don't know,

924
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 1: do you feel the need to speak out or do

925
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: you think like the label might be like, hey, you

926
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: know what, maybe not right now? What would never do?

927
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,959
Speaker 1: Never did that. I happened to be on a label

928
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 1: of real niggas as well, like they don't they support

929
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: they support anything that's real and true. And um, I

930
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: think because somebody like you standing up and you know,

931
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: like and seen your faith right now, I could really

932
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: help the community, help the Muslim community. Yeah, but I

933
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: also don't Muslims going through that. I agree. I also

934
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: want to be careful about the way that I represent

935
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: my community or the Muslim community, because I have so

936
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,279
Speaker 1: much respect and so much reverence and I know that

937
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: I don't live by my dean, So you wouldn't do

938
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: that just to make a statement. Yeah, I mean like

939
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I can support people and in every

940
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: way I can, and I don't. I also don't feel

941
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: like I'm not allowed to wear a jab, Like I

942
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 1: feel like I just to be authentic to exactly. So

943
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna jump out the window and like start

944
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: a mosque tomorrow. But I definitely feel like if there

945
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: are any anyone that needs to like talk or hang

946
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: or feel reinforce, and I have no problem wearing a jab.

947
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: I've picked out new ones recently, Like, I'm very comfortable.

948
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: I'm just comfortable and I love everyone and I want

949
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: everyone to feel not afraid. I feel like educating some

950
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: of these younger kids before they turn into crazy ass

951
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: bullies that snatching off your jab in the hallway like

952
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: can help too, in a positive, friendly way. I don't know.

953
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 1: Did it affect you in a way because you was

954
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 1: kind of choosing, like I guess feel or faith. Yeah, yes,

955
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: that affects your relationship with God, that or affects the

956
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: way you process um goodness. It's yes, that was a

957
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: very interesting thing. I think a lot of things it's weird,

958
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: like religion when you're young versus religion when you're older.

959
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: It's shaped by your parents, the relationship with the church,

960
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,399
Speaker 1: the people in the church, et cetera. Like and when

961
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 1: I say church, I mean any denomination that has a congregation.

962
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: So I'm just thinking about I don't know. It took

963
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: me a long time to like fall out of fear

964
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: and like kind of fall into faith. But it's weird.

965
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: I got into Christianity afterwards to learn, and not because

966
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: I was afraid of Islam, but just because I spent

967
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: like a lot of my childhood running from like the

968
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 1: issues with my dad and that represented Islam at the

969
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 1: time for me, and plus nine eleven plus everything else,

970
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: which is like I just want to try something else,

971
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: Like I just want to Like my dad is a

972
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: very stern My dad is very stern, and he's very

973
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: he doesn't mince words and he doesn't renig on things

974
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: that he says, and sometimes, you know, I don't know.

975
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: I think my dad was just growing at the same

976
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: my parents were growing at the same time that I

977
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 1: was growing, and I'm sure they wanted more for me.

978
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 1: Initially they were afraid that I wouldn't have enough or

979
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be enough. And I don't know, I

980
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: think my dad was just I get it. I get it.

981
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 1: He was really going hard on some whole other ship.

982
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: But I'm not afraid of anything. Didn't want you in

983
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 1: the music industry. Oh, he didn't care about that. It's

984
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: so backwards. He didn't want me on roller coasters, didn't

985
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: want me like inventuring and doing like random things, but

986
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 1: wanted me to go to school one of me. It's

987
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: nothing that. It wasn't the music industry that he didn't want.

988
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 1: It was more so he wanted me to do something

989
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 1: with my life. And he felt like he wasn't sure

990
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 1: if being in music was like doing something with my life.

991
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: But but now he is. Yeah, he's down, he's so

992
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: and he calls me. I'm like, thank you on me

993
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 1: mad when he the whole album now, yes, something like

994
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: I'm singing about me and from my perspective and everything.

995
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: You think they're gonna talk to you about it and

996
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 1: ask your questions since you said your mom never really

997
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 1: addressed certain things about relationships, you think now is going

998
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:22,399
Speaker 1: to be like what you mean, what were you going through? Baby? No, No,

999
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: I talked to my mom. It's funny. My mom is

1000
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: now like when I do I do talk to her

1001
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 1: about like men in the way I feel now, and

1002
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 1: she's very like she wants me to just be patient

1003
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 1: and like be loving and understanding, but also like not

1004
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: take no shit. I don't know, it's weird. I'm not

1005
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 1: very a vice person like from my home girls, Like

1006
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: I don't talk about men with my friends, but we

1007
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: hang out have fun. But I'm not really like that,

1008
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 1: Like I kind of just keep those kind of thoughts

1009
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: to myself, well explaining that I'm tited for you get

1010
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: out there because I can tell you gotta pee. No.

1011
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 1: I just you know what's crazy. I'm very like fidgety,

1012
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 1: and my legs are the most like fidgety part of me,

1013
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: so I always like adjust them and I want to

1014
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 1: say my legs voter, but I can't, and it's cherished. Yeah,

1015
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: let to stretch a lot. I stretched a lot every day.

1016
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: That's weird. So control, yeah, well it's a life concept.

1017
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: It's more so um when I first think about control,

1018
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 1: like the computer computer key, I think about sneaking up

1019
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: into my parents added to wait for the dialogue to

1020
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: like work, even though I'm banned from the phone and

1021
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 1: banned from the computer. Like it might be thirty sister,

1022
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: you make a lot of old Oh you might be

1023
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: over thirty if I was. Literally there's Twitter and aim

1024
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: and into it. All that came in the same of

1025
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 1: my lifetime. So like I was here before Twitter, I

1026
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: was here before real internet, like before it was like

1027
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: a whole worldwide web. And she was at the time.

1028
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but I mean I was just on Juno

1029
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: and like googling random things like that's what any of

1030
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 1: us were doing on the Internet back then. It's not

1031
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,720
Speaker 1: ship out to look at, Like, let me just google

1032
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 1: what else does look like? Bro? What's that? That's a

1033
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: You can ride around in that little van and just

1034
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 1: walk up to random girls and try to get them

1035
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 1: to have sex, right, No, roll up in a creepy

1036
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 1: van and ask womens Okay, but control, I'm sorry, Okay. Control.

1037
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: Control is a concept. It's just I've just lacked control

1038
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: in my whole life, and I think I've craved it

1039
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 1: my whole life and I couldn't really arrive at it.

1040
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,760
Speaker 1: And now I'm not really looking to arrive at it anymore.

1041
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be present and then trying to

1042
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: It's weird. If you try to control a future moment,

1043
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 1: it's impossible and there's no sustings control anyway. She's a concept,

1044
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 1: it's a word, it's a fantasy. And but if you

1045
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 1: focus on controlling, like the way you feel in the

1046
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: now and what you do with it now, I feel

1047
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,320
Speaker 1: like it leads to having true control in the future.

1048
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:09,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a theory. I'll figure out, but

1049
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: we like watching you figure it out. The album is

1050
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: really dope. I'm not just saying that, it's really it's

1051
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: a really good album. You should be proud of yourself, Sis, Yes,

1052
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 1: all right, Scissor. It's The Breakfast Club. Good Morning, the

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Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. Every weekday morning tune in