Speaker 1: Say hello and welcome to my favorite murder the minis.
Speaker 2: That's right, we read you your story, your stories.
Speaker 1: I want you to go down like this is a play.
Speaker 1: And I keep forgetting a line. You know those in
Speaker 1: cartoons where there's a person in like a little halfshell
Speaker 1: that's like whispering lines to people. That's to me what
Speaker 1: that hand is where you're just.
Speaker 2: Like like, not the normal, not the other, do this.
Speaker 1: No, and then this is yeah, and then the end.
Speaker 1: I think you go first on this one.
Speaker 2: Regular on minisode, Let's do this dode okay, Sale by
Speaker 2: a Salute Washington State Fairy Edition. Hello Karen Georgia and
Speaker 2: all of my other MFM besties. When I heard episode
Speaker 2: five twenty four about the to Concordia and how the
Speaker 2: captain did the sale by salute to impress a woman
Speaker 2: and then it says sir with this emoji, I immediately
Speaker 2: thought of the Pacific Northwest version of this exact nonsense
Speaker 2: and knew I had to share our much less tragic
Speaker 2: story with you. I live way out on a tiny
Speaker 2: island in Washington State's San Juan Islands, about ninety minutes
Speaker 2: north of Seattle. God, it's so beautiful.
Speaker 3: The most beautiful. Like, what a place, What a gift
Speaker 3: to live there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, a quiet, fairy dependent archipelagio. Yeah, it is where
Speaker 2: nothing crazy ever happens except deer jumping fences to mow
Speaker 2: down entire gardens or the occasional trespassing tourist, which is
Speaker 2: why this story lives on in local legend. Back in
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty three, the Washington State ferry elwa was doing
Speaker 2: a normal Sunday run through the islands. Think people heading
Speaker 2: home cars packed with island essentials, and tourists scanning the
Speaker 2: horizon of the Solish Sea for our beautiful resident Orcas.
Speaker 1: I love an Orca. Okay, were they trying to kill billionaires?
Speaker 1: Is that's why they were up.
Speaker 2: There, beautiful resident Orcas. Meanwhile, the fifty seven year old
Speaker 2: captain of the Elwah ferry invites a female passenger up
Speaker 2: for a tour of the vessel's wheelhouse for the hour
Speaker 2: or so sailing.
Speaker 3: Has a fairy captain ever invited you up into the wheelhouse.
Speaker 1: I've been on a fucking ferry, fucking ship, and no,
Speaker 1: we got to get you a ship.
Speaker 2: Get me on a ship, you'd love it. I get
Speaker 2: so sick.
Speaker 3: Get your own After a while.
Speaker 2: The captain began joking about taking a little detour in
Speaker 2: order to sail by the lovely passenger's home as they
Speaker 2: approached the mouth of the aptly named Grindstone Harbor on
Speaker 2: Orca's Island, where she recited She's like, oh, I live
Speaker 2: over there, and he was like, let's drive by and
Speaker 2: do a salute.
Speaker 1: Even though we're on a ferry where there's all these
Speaker 1: passengers and commuters.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's called common sense, Karen. But I wonder
Speaker 2: what's in his little flask. You know, at the time
Speaker 2: the passenger thinks he's joking, such a detour would put
Speaker 2: the l wah way off course. He is, in fact,
Speaker 2: not joking, and when she realized he was serious, her
Speaker 2: daughter later said, she began to freak out because suddenly
Speaker 2: this man is steering an entire three hundred and eighty
Speaker 2: two foot fairy into a harbor that it absolutely should
Speaker 2: not be entering at full speed, because nothing is more
Speaker 2: impressively flirtatious than would you like to see your home
Speaker 2: from a dangerously questionable distance. Moments later, the el Wah
Speaker 2: slammed into a submerged wreath in Grindstone Harbor. They hit
Speaker 2: so hard that people a mile away could hear it.
Speaker 2: The fairy's hull ripped open, causing around two hundred and
Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars in damages. That's over how much in
Speaker 2: today's money.
Speaker 3: In today's money. This happened in the nineties.
Speaker 2: This happened in eighty three, oh eighty three.
Speaker 3: To say the number again, two hundred and two.
Speaker 2: Hundred, two thousand, and thank you because Kelly put how
Speaker 2: much it is in today's my six hundred thousand, seven hundred,
Speaker 2: but closer. Yes, I was like in the ballpark, and
Speaker 2: because we don't have time for that kind of shit here,
Speaker 2: the fairy continued on, limping its way to Shaw Island
Speaker 2: and then to Orca's Island, where it was patched up
Speaker 2: before heading to Seattle for more permanent repairs.
Speaker 3: So it actually was such a strong fairy it kind
Speaker 3: of made it out of there anyway.
Speaker 2: It was like, all good, let's just keep going, get
Speaker 2: this over with.
Speaker 1: What about all the people on the faerry whose teeth
Speaker 1: hit the window or whatever?
Speaker 3: Fuck It's.
Speaker 2: Thankfully no one was hurt except for that one lady
Speaker 2: in the incident. But here's the fuck dub part. Ready
Speaker 2: for the recently widowed passenger. The woman and longtime Orcas
Speaker 2: Island resident who was invited into the wheelhouse that day
Speaker 2: was dubbed the Siren of the san Juans.
Speaker 1: Always the woman says siren, as if this woman was
Speaker 1: just out there luring this dumb ass like little more
Speaker 1: to the left, captain, and.
Speaker 2: Then there's some like music notes next, a little more
Speaker 2: to the left, captain.
Speaker 3: That's her song.
Speaker 2: She thought this man was joking and then got stuck
Speaker 2: into a situation she had zero control over. Somehow she
Speaker 2: got labeled, her reputation was questioned, and she was turned
Speaker 2: into a main character of this crazy story. Not quite
Speaker 2: the classic victim blaming, but definitely it's weird maritime cousin.
Speaker 2: It's blaming.
Speaker 3: It is victim. How is that happen every time?
Speaker 1: It's like the same thing where it's like Pam Bondi
Speaker 1: and Christy Nome are being brought up on charges.
Speaker 3: Fucking the worst of the worst.
Speaker 2: Names are there, and their emails that they sent are there.
Speaker 1: It's yet there, and they're on the news babbling in coherence.
Speaker 2: They don't even fucking they disclose the victims' names when
Speaker 2: they fucking put the documents out which is like.
Speaker 1: Literally illegal, literally and that's not what you're supposed to
Speaker 1: be doing.
Speaker 2: And when they take the names out and they put
Speaker 2: in the they just tract from.
Speaker 1: The Siren of the scenes is the headline under which
Speaker 1: we have been living. Yeah, and twenty twenty six is
Speaker 1: when this whole thing cracks like that fucking fairy because
Speaker 1: enough already and everyone has their eyes on it, and
Speaker 1: everyone's paying attention not to say, listen, send both Christy Nome.
Speaker 3: And oh Pam BONDI fuck goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 2: But let's go from the top instead of the fucking bottom.
Speaker 2: Boys first started at the bottom. Boy said you're not
Speaker 2: even going up here, okay, And then it says, of course,
Speaker 2: the captain lost his job after over thirty years with
Speaker 2: Washington State Fairies. And then it says goodbye bye. And
Speaker 2: by all accounts, the female passenger's family seems to be
Speaker 2: able to laugh about it now, although none of them
Speaker 2: found it funny at the time.
Speaker 1: I wonder if when Siren of the san Juans article
Speaker 1: came out, her picture was in it.
Speaker 2: Probably and their name and address, like from the eighty eighties,
Speaker 2: right from this, here's her phone number. Yeah, they used
Speaker 2: to do that you guys. They used to just give out,
Speaker 2: like if someone's getting an award or one something.
Speaker 1: They Chris Pharabanks as a child had his name and
Speaker 1: address printed.
Speaker 2: In their newspapers soccer star Chris Fairbanks and then the
Speaker 2: child's address in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go visit them pervs.
Speaker 2: Uh no, no, no, where are we? Goodbye? It's funny. Anyways,
Speaker 2: Stay sexy and don't let a man blame you for
Speaker 2: crashing a faery question mark xoxo and thank you eternally
Speaker 2: for all you do. Kelly. Ps I celebrated my twenty
Speaker 2: seventh year as a flight attendant on March fifteenth. You've
Speaker 2: been asking for those stories lately, so fasten your seatbelts
Speaker 2: and expect to hear from me again, Kelly. Please good,
Speaker 2: that's only the first one.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Kelly for sparking and igniting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, our new show Sirens of San Juan.
Speaker 1: The mcnail LAIRR News Hour. Okay, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: read you the subject line. It just says Dear Karen
Speaker 1: and Georgia, longtime listener, devoted acolyte. You recently mentioned parts
Speaker 1: of the Golden State killer timeline that snapped a thirty
Speaker 1: year old memory into focus a little googling, and some
Speaker 1: deeply unwelcome pattern recognition later, I'm fairly certain Joseph Dangelo
Speaker 1: is in my bedroom closet in the fall of nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty three.
Speaker 2: Fuck. I fucking love these stories. Oh my, I mean
Speaker 2: I hate them. But when you have that realization that, oh,
Speaker 2: that thing happened. I found the rope that one time
Speaker 2: under my couch and there shouldn't have been a rope there,
Speaker 2: but I couldn't figure out why.
Speaker 1: Okay, please, sorry, no, no, that is I think of
Speaker 1: the Golden State Killer's whole story. Him hiding shit in
Speaker 1: the furniture to come back later is so upsetting mollicle
Speaker 1: and upset it demonic demmonic like okay.
Speaker 2: And then stealing one earring and you're like, where'd that
Speaker 2: one earring go? That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: It's mind fuckery. Like days before the right you're gonna
Speaker 1: do the worst thing.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna call the cops and be like, I
Speaker 2: think someone was in here, yeah, because they what they do?
Speaker 2: They you lost an ear Oh my god.
Speaker 1: No, he just is starting to rip the seam of
Speaker 1: yea your am I okay? Okay, well, okay, and perfect
Speaker 1: point because listen to this. We had just moved to
Speaker 1: Woodland Hills Foothills, middle class suburbia, easy access to the
Speaker 1: one oh one, and backyards attached to long corridors of
Speaker 1: green space. I was fifteen and yes, Karen, yes, I
Speaker 1: was a latchkey kid.
Speaker 3: Georgia was too.
Speaker 1: One afternoon I came home to find that we'd been burglarized.
Speaker 3: But it was a weird one. The expensive stereo still there,
Speaker 3: valuables untouched. What was missing?
Speaker 1: My dad's wedding band, my mom's diamond lists engagement ring,
Speaker 1: which had lost its diamond long ago during a diaper change.
Speaker 1: Oh god, okay, resale value zero, symbolism one hundred and
Speaker 1: a single twenty dollars bill from my bedroom Q teenage fury.
Speaker 1: Also missing, my dad's enormous, very sharp chef's knife. Oh
Speaker 1: but it wasn't stolen. It was placed pointy and out
Speaker 1: on a shelf in my closet.
Speaker 2: Goodbye, never going in there again. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just cemented. Over the time my parents assumed the
Speaker 1: rings were taken for gold value. No one was publicly
Speaker 1: talking yet about a man who targeted wedding symbols and piggybanks,
Speaker 1: and moved through suburban neighborhoods via freeway corridors. True to
Speaker 1: his m we also received a series of hang up calls,
Speaker 1: heavy breathing, then a click. I carelessly assumed it was
Speaker 1: some random creep who kept redialing because I kept answering,
Speaker 1: not someone from my closet. Today, Following standard MFM advice,
Speaker 1: I called my dad. I laid out my case. There
Speaker 1: was a long pause. It's like six oaths. Then he said, well,
Speaker 1: it is true. There was a rash of similar break
Speaker 1: ins all over the neighborhood.
Speaker 3: At the time.
Speaker 2: Jesus.
Speaker 1: The Golden State Killer was documented in Ventura County in
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty one and Orange County in nineteen eighty six.
Speaker 2: Woodland Hills is right in the middle of it, right.
Speaker 1: Woodland Hills sits neatly between them, with the one oh
Speaker 1: one running straight True.
Speaker 2: If you call Paul Holes and say, I bet they
Speaker 2: have those two rings still in evidence, Oh yeah, right right.
Speaker 3: Also, it's so creepy.
Speaker 1: Just go into people's houses and touch the things that
Speaker 1: are like, this means love, this means.
Speaker 2: Just like I know the confusion and fear I'm going
Speaker 2: to put in your mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, back in eighty three. My dad's response to
Speaker 1: the incident was to buy a labrador. That's great, knowing
Speaker 1: now that DiAngelo famously avoided homes with dogs. I give
Speaker 1: full credit to Oreo for saving our lives. Oreo Cooky,
Speaker 1: so thank you for giving me the framework to retroactively
Speaker 1: terrify myself and then call every member of my family
Speaker 1: to inform them they survived the Golden State Killer. Holy shit,
Speaker 1: you're welcome family, SSDGM, and maybe check for knives in
Speaker 1: your closet.
Speaker 3: Emma, Long Beach, California, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And then it says ps turns out the Socow killing
Speaker 1: started around the time DiAngelo and his wife bought a
Speaker 1: second home in Long Beach.
Speaker 3: Shut up, Emma, you.
Speaker 1: Are the forest Gump of the Golden Steak killers. Missingly
Speaker 1: that is still too close form. That is just unbelievable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because he would do it.
Speaker 2: And then he'd have like a couple places that were available,
Speaker 2: so that night, if he couldn't get into that one,
Speaker 2: he'd go to this one instead, just to make sure
Speaker 2: he always had one available. So he went back and
Speaker 2: they had a dog, and he's like, well, it's not
Speaker 2: that one tonight.
Speaker 1: Right, or somebody flicks their light on in the backyard
Speaker 1: and he has to like go to the I mean right, dude,
Speaker 1: dude and a half. Yeah, this is about a child, which.
Speaker 2: It's funny. Hello MFM, FAM, Karen, Georgia, Vince and Pets.
Speaker 2: When my mom and her siblings were growing up in
Speaker 2: the Milwaukee suburbs in the nineteen sixties, the summer parenting
Speaker 2: method was very much go outside until I call you
Speaker 2: for meals, which was great for neighborhood kick the can,
Speaker 2: bike races, et cetera, but it also led to power struggles, boredom,
Speaker 2: and of course witchcraft.
Speaker 3: That's right, because you would just be left to your
Speaker 3: own devices all day.
Speaker 2: I think we did all of those things. One summer morning,
Speaker 2: my mom and her younger brother, Greg, Little Greg a
Speaker 2: Little Greg, were bored with the usual games and decided
Speaker 2: to set up the garage for a seance. As you do.
Speaker 2: They hung up tarps, lit candles, set up a table,
Speaker 2: and made a crystal ball from an old round cherry jar,
Speaker 2: glitter and food coloring. Next thing needed a witch as
Speaker 2: they hadn't been out in the neighborhood yet. They decided
Speaker 2: it should be Greg. I guess my mom being a
Speaker 2: girl seemed too obvious a choice to fool the other kids.
Speaker 2: My mom found an old Halloween costume, painted Greg's face
Speaker 2: and put on a mop.
Speaker 3: Wig the smell.
Speaker 2: She then went into the neighborhood to gather the neighborhood kids,
Speaker 2: explaining that Greg had the flu, but that their aunt
Speaker 2: was in town from far away and that she was
Speaker 2: a witch, and did they want to meet her. Greg's
Speaker 2: not here right now.
Speaker 3: Greg's very, very busy with his work.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: I know you've never seen Greg and the switch together,
Speaker 2: but trust.
Speaker 3: Me, but listen. As similar as they look, Greg takes
Speaker 3: after his aunt.
Speaker 2: Does Greg have a fucking mop for of hair? No
Speaker 2: it does not.
Speaker 3: Does he have gifts from the beyond? I don't think so.
Speaker 2: But they want to meet her, which of course they did,
Speaker 2: especially after my mom said that she could see the
Speaker 2: future and call dead people that the witch could.
Speaker 3: Oh, the mom got into it.
Speaker 2: So the mom is the big sister.
Speaker 3: This is the from Star story, don't you.
Speaker 1: I thought like there was a true adult coming in
Speaker 1: from the out with ape, you know, apron On being like, right,
Speaker 1: I know it is a witch, right, which.
Speaker 2: Would have been one by one the kids came into
Speaker 2: the garage, wanting to know their future. No one cared
Speaker 2: about the dead, I guess. One by one. My uncle
Speaker 2: the witch explained that it was very grim and that
Speaker 2: the children and their families would die all calves if
Speaker 2: they did not shower. At midnight. The kids left, terrified
Speaker 2: of My mom and uncle were delighted by their prank.
Speaker 2: At twelve fifteen in the morning, my mom, uncle, Greg,
Speaker 2: and their parents. I woke to eleven phone calls my
Speaker 2: neighbors with freshly showered and scared little kids. My mom
Speaker 2: and uncle were promptly grounded and probably whacked with a
Speaker 2: wooden spoon. Yep, had that too, just really quick.
Speaker 1: So sorry to interrupte, but like the first phone call
Speaker 1: does down, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Yes, we'll take care of it. Yeah, the second the
Speaker 3: phone hits. The rest of it in phone calls, just
Speaker 3: rolling calls.
Speaker 2: Uh. They were grounded whatever, probably walked to the wooden spoon,
Speaker 2: but also extremely proud that their prank worked.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: My mom grew up to be an og murderino who
Speaker 2: still checks her closets for perfs and pervs on a
Speaker 2: nightly basis. What the fuck? Yeah, and my uncle joined
Speaker 2: a biker gang.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: Everything turned out great for these kids. I love them.
Speaker 2: Thank you for all you do and encouraging people to
Speaker 2: speak up, fuck politeness, discuss mental illness, and in general
Speaker 2: be wonderful. Ps Karen, my my mom's birthday is May
Speaker 2: twelfth and mine is my tenth. We should meet up
Speaker 2: for cake.
Speaker 3: Hey, a week of cake.
Speaker 2: Say sexy and don't tell children to shower at midnight, best, Marissa.
Speaker 1: It's fucking weird about parents that are just like, uh
Speaker 1: he like the kids.
Speaker 2: Like Greg like thought of a way to like control them,
Speaker 2: but not in a way that was like evil, just
Speaker 2: in a like fuck with you kind of what I say, Yeah,
Speaker 2: like people like jump from the roof.
Speaker 1: No exactly, it was You're gonna be cold and irritated.
Speaker 1: It's terrified, but no one can really get me in trouble.
Speaker 3: Really. Yeah, but I mean they did.
Speaker 2: I guess. Yeah, so you know those parents were a
Speaker 2: little proud.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean because it worked.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: How many times did you try to like convince neighborhood
Speaker 1: kids of something? They're all like what shot at?
Speaker 2: True?
Speaker 3: Yes, never listened to anything. Okay.
Speaker 1: Greeting's murder, Mavens and all the furry critters, including Steven's mustache.
Speaker 1: I've got a secret life hometown that culminates with a
Speaker 1: deathbed treasure.
Speaker 2: Huh. Yes.
Speaker 1: When I met my now wife, her father was a
Speaker 1: trim carpenter living a modest life, but occasional comments hinted
Speaker 1: at a more storied past. Most puzzling might be the
Speaker 1: warning that if we were ever in the Bahamas and
Speaker 1: were asked, we should say we didn't know him. I
Speaker 1: love that and definitely were not related to him. My
Speaker 1: curiosity got the better of me, and I did some
Speaker 1: websleuthing and discovered a newspaper article from the eighties linking
Speaker 1: him to a retired Major League baseball player who had
Speaker 1: been arrested for running marijuana. Oh shit, my father in
Speaker 1: law was listed as the co pilot of the private
Speaker 1: plane they were using.
Speaker 2: Dude took cocaine, beert.
Speaker 1: He had never mentioned having a license or knowing how
Speaker 1: to fly a plane.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: To secretly discover Marty could fucking fly Sessa if you
Speaker 1: wanted to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, my stepdad John has some like cool secrets
Speaker 2: that you would not know.
Speaker 1: Really, I'm not supposed to know that I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: talking about on this national podcast.
Speaker 2: I didn't say what that are.
Speaker 3: Here's what I'm gonna guess what. He was a sniper
Speaker 3: in Vietnam.
Speaker 2: He wasn't he was in Vietnam.
Speaker 3: Whoops, we're going back to the email.
Speaker 1: John. My apologies, none of anybody's business, but thank you
Speaker 1: for your service.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: This man's cool points tripled in that moment, and I
Speaker 1: couldn't wait to hear the story firsthand. Unfortunately, my father
Speaker 1: in law did not see this as his proudest moment
Speaker 1: and shut down the conversation immediately. Those the old school
Speaker 1: guys are they don't want to be You can't be
Speaker 1: a criminal.
Speaker 3: You can't be a bad guy.
Speaker 2: You can't have done something in your use that you're
Speaker 2: in talk about it on a podcast like I do.
Speaker 1: Right, But that's thank god that we fucked up as
Speaker 1: much as we did. We have so much to talk
Speaker 1: about and zero shame, right, and kind of like I
Speaker 1: need to get a little attentions here and there. Sadly,
Speaker 1: he passed away about a year later, and thus begins
Speaker 1: the deathbed treasure hunt part of the story. He always
Speaker 1: told my wife, if anything ever happened to me, check
Speaker 1: my chair.
Speaker 3: I fucking love this guy. We always suspected he stashed cash.
Speaker 1: Around, and now knowing his past, it made sense why
Speaker 1: he liked to keep income undocumented.
Speaker 2: Shit.
Speaker 1: He also had a fear that every time he was
Speaker 1: ill it was going to be the end, and would
Speaker 1: write a letter to my wife telling her where to
Speaker 1: find his stashes. So we had three conflicting treasure maps
Speaker 1: to work with. Oh, what a joyous gift to give
Speaker 1: your child. Please give this to me, Yeah when you died. Okay,
Speaker 1: start planning it now.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm thinking, where do I send her?
Speaker 3: Where could I?
Speaker 1: We found envelopes of cash taped to the bottom of
Speaker 1: his dresser, tucked on top of the kitchen cabinets in
Speaker 1: the lightning of his share, et cetera. The grand total
Speaker 1: was ten K what I mean, But it wasn't. The
Speaker 1: most valuable find in the garage was a locked file cabinet.
Speaker 3: With no key.
Speaker 1: It's like my mouth is watering just around the house.
Speaker 1: We considered taking it to the dumpster as is, but
Speaker 1: something told me if it was worth locking, then there
Speaker 1: had to be something in there worth finding. Please use
Speaker 1: that kind of deduction in your life. Why would this
Speaker 1: be happening? Maybe I don't, Maybe I don't just write
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm so mad at.
Speaker 2: I've seen the instagrammer of the guy who's just spending
Speaker 2: every day trying to find a diamond.
Speaker 3: Yes, I love him, and the shitt he's finding.
Speaker 2: Me trying to find a diamond, a kitty cat.
Speaker 1: A bead. It's so satisfying, so satisfying, and then you're
Speaker 1: like nod.
Speaker 2: Is the dim and today like yay, because I want
Speaker 2: you to keep doing it. Yes, it's so cute.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel like that guy was a mudlarker.
Speaker 1: Watched his mudlarking videos. It's like, I'll never get to
Speaker 1: do that totally, but I'll do it here in this gutter.
Speaker 2: I love. It's so good.
Speaker 1: There's like a little whatever you use is like a
Speaker 1: screw driver digging out the cracks in the sidewalk.
Speaker 2: All he finds the most random ship. But he's like
Speaker 2: so calm an ASMR about it. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2: We love that guy.
Speaker 1: Diamond today, No diamond today, Day thirty two, searching for
Speaker 1: a diamond. Okay, we're back in this email. Sorry, and
Speaker 1: we're really going to focus this time. Okay, wait, it's
Speaker 1: locked thing, locked file cabinet. Here we go.
Speaker 3: God, damn it.
Speaker 1: Okay, here it is, So I went to work with
Speaker 1: a variety of prying and hammering tools.
Speaker 3: Success. Among the receipts for every prescription.
Speaker 1: He and his wife burns is from nineteen seventy seven
Speaker 1: to nineteen eighty seven. I mean, that's what a lot
Speaker 1: of my junk doors look like. Is things I'm afraid
Speaker 1: to throw away.
Speaker 2: I hate it if I need it.
Speaker 3: A receipt for a prescription like stuff like that.
Speaker 1: When they give you the thing that's all stapled and
Speaker 1: there's all that information, I'm like, better keep it, okay.
Speaker 3: So among those items was.
Speaker 1: A folder that told the whole story of his misdeeds
Speaker 1: during the time he ran a moderately successful typewriter ribbon
Speaker 1: reinking company. We might they might as well put his
Speaker 1: name in who else has that company? It's the most
Speaker 1: specific job of all time, which provided a great cover,
Speaker 1: oh my god, for all of his travel up and
Speaker 1: down the East Coast. So a typewriter ribbon reinking company
Speaker 1: is a cover for drug running.
Speaker 2: Sure, I don't know. No one knows how that works,
Speaker 2: so why wouldn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so specific.
Speaker 1: It's like those independent vacuum cleaner stores on Bourbank Boulevard
Speaker 1: where you're.
Speaker 2: Like, what are you talking about? Six fucking vacuum post COVID.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you still got a brick and Mortars.
Speaker 2: Was nineteen eighty nine. If you fucking do this.
Speaker 1: The good people at Mealy sending you thousands, hundreds of
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars.
Speaker 3: Okay, So.
Speaker 1: Typewriter Ribbon Reinking company, providing a great cover for all
Speaker 1: his travel up and down the East Coast. In reality,
Speaker 1: he was a legit drug mule running cocaine from Florida
Speaker 1: to Massachusetts. He kept a newspaper clipping from a trial
Speaker 1: where he turned state's evidenced and testified to taping bags
Speaker 1: of cocaine to his body, and then in parentheses it says,
Speaker 1: you know, like you see in the movies. He hand
Speaker 1: wrote his fine on the clipping. They got it wrong
Speaker 1: in the article, so he was arrested and fined.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and he hand wrote. He was like,
Speaker 2: they're wrong, it's just like I was.
Speaker 1: Actually was sixteen thousand. He ended up doing a year
Speaker 1: in prison. He sent my wife a handmade Christmas card
Speaker 1: that year that was also in the folder, And then
Speaker 1: we found the official letter from the Republic of the
Speaker 1: Bahamas informing him he was no longer welcome in their
Speaker 1: country ever.
Speaker 2: We were just there. Yeah, good things.
Speaker 1: Not a podcaster, I know, because it's gorgeous and their podcasting.
Speaker 1: I really hate that he was embarrassed by this part
Speaker 1: of his life, as I'm sure he had some wild
Speaker 1: stories to tell. Yeah, I agree, Yeah, he should have
Speaker 1: felt free and easy. He got through it.
Speaker 2: But if you're a boomer and you're listening and you
Speaker 2: have some crazy fucking story that you're ashamed of, we
Speaker 2: are not ashamed of you. Please send it to us.
Speaker 1: If this is a time that is very different than
Speaker 1: pre Internet times where shame and keeping up with the
Speaker 1: Jones is really controlled most people's lives. Not like that anymore.
Speaker 2: We're fine with it.
Speaker 3: And also, everybody loves an anti hero.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't do drugs. I really did it. As
Speaker 1: for my mother in law, it does explain why they
Speaker 1: got divorced. We haven't told her that we discovered the
Speaker 1: big family secret. I picture her as a Skylar White type,
Speaker 1: enjoying the spoils but not wanting to know how they
Speaker 1: could afford a corvette, stay sexy and don't let a
Speaker 1: locked filing cabinet deter your treasure hunt tea.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, tea.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a secret life is a cocaine runner is pretty incredible.
Speaker 1: If your dad has a boring job or mom has
Speaker 1: a boring job, ask them what they did. Ask them
Speaker 1: to please finally be honest with you.
Speaker 2: Ask them why they never want to go to the
Speaker 2: bombs anyway?
Speaker 1: What do you mean why was that person at TSA
Speaker 1: giving you that dirty look? Right? What don't mean you
Speaker 1: can't go to Canada for everybody up there?
Speaker 2: Okay, this is called finders keepers. This one's gross. Hello,
Speaker 2: murder matriarchs and co thanks, blah blah, you know the rest.
Speaker 2: I have a brother who is three years younger than me,
Speaker 2: but by the time we were two and five, he
Speaker 2: easily weighed as much as me and could hold his
Speaker 2: own in any fight. When he was seven or so,
Speaker 2: we thought he was partially deaf. My dad thought it
Speaker 2: was selective hearing, but eventually my mom took him to
Speaker 2: the doctor to get it checked out. The doctor comes
Speaker 2: into the room and starts testing things and uses that
Speaker 2: weird flashlight to look inside my little brother's ears.
Speaker 1: I wanted one of those really bad the lights. The
Speaker 1: little the thing that where they're like, how are you today?
Speaker 2: This would hide it from me if I had chase.
Speaker 3: It's in there, okay.
Speaker 2: When he looks in my brother's right ear, he pauses,
Speaker 2: keeps the flashlight in the ear, and grabs a pair
Speaker 2: of long, thin tweezers. This is what hometowns have become,
Speaker 2: and I'm so happy for it. It's that, and it's this,
Speaker 2: and that's okay.
Speaker 1: Secret parent, drug runners and shoven shit up your nose
Speaker 1: or ear, sorry wherever.
Speaker 2: Then he proceeds to slowly extract a wax covered bead
Speaker 2: from my brother's ear, A bead. No diamond today?
Speaker 3: He pulled down and said, no diamond.
Speaker 2: Oh, the diamond was in the ring, but it wasn't.
Speaker 2: My mom's jaw drops to the floor, and when my
Speaker 2: brother sees it, he says, oh, I put that in
Speaker 2: there to hide from Georgia, and it says me, because
Speaker 2: I didn't want her to use it.
Speaker 3: This person's name is Georgia. Yeah, Oh that's crazy.
Speaker 2: I know. It had been in there for four fucking years.
Speaker 3: And how old was this little brother?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Seven? Nope, not deaf, just hiding shit from his siblings
Speaker 2: using three year old logic, and also who what's a
Speaker 2: three year old? I'll play with beads another bygone time
Speaker 2: I would or not allowed to.
Speaker 1: They truly liked a man looking for the diamond. That
Speaker 1: little kid found that thing on the floor, thought it
Speaker 1: was beautiful and was like mine, stay.
Speaker 2: Sexy and check your children's orifices with some regularity, Georgia.
Speaker 1: Such a trip to hear an email from Georgia, thank
Speaker 1: you for finally writing in. That's so hilarious and it
Speaker 1: The reason I said shove it up your nose is
Speaker 1: because there's an infamous family story where my mom looked
Speaker 1: at me one day and I had green shit running
Speaker 1: out of one nostril. I've told you this one, I think,
Speaker 1: so I don't remember, and I had to go to
Speaker 1: the emergency room and they just they pulled out a
Speaker 1: big piece of foam.
Speaker 2: Why do you put phone in there?
Speaker 3: It's bored. They used to leave me alone all the time.
Speaker 3: What am I supposed to do? Not shove shit up
Speaker 3: my nose?
Speaker 2: But it was like that.
Speaker 3: She was like, I think she's really sick.
Speaker 1: It's like green snock coming in whatever action she goes,
Speaker 1: he puts tweezers up there and then it's just like
Speaker 1: is this your child?
Speaker 2: Send your email to my favorite murder at Gmail about
Speaker 2: orifice origin stories.
Speaker 1: Okay, above the belt or orifice origin stories.
Speaker 3: Thank please, thank you. Family Friendly.
Speaker 2: You know that one guy who they like, he was
Speaker 2: dying and they opened up his body and they found
Speaker 2: a little tree growing in his lung because he had
Speaker 2: inhaled a seed. That's just one of those stories I
Speaker 2: think about when I can't sleep at night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're like, what do I got in there? Okay,
Speaker 1: boogin villa, I forgot about that. It was like a
Speaker 1: sprout in his lung.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so crazy.
Speaker 2: He was like couldn't breathe and was like dying and
Speaker 2: then like drinking farah flu and like you know, like not,
Speaker 2: actually it's a Christmas tree.
Speaker 3: And you're a tree. You've become a tree tree.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Subject line of this email quick one. I ran over
Speaker 1: myself with my own car less than two minute reads
Speaker 1: beautiful besties that I've never met. When I was sixteen,
Speaker 1: I eagerly got my license like any other teenage girl.
Speaker 1: The car I was handed down was a nineteen eighty
Speaker 1: six Super U gl The car was only a year
Speaker 1: younger than me, so you can guess the safety features
Speaker 1: were non existent. I've only had my license for about
Speaker 1: two weeks when I pulled into my driveway after a
Speaker 1: party one night. My parents' house is up a semi
Speaker 1: steep hill and off the.
Speaker 3: Road a little bit.
Speaker 1: I got out of the car and was standing between
Speaker 1: my car door and the driver's side when the car
Speaker 1: starts rolling backwards. For some reason, I thought that I
Speaker 1: could stop the car by simply pushing against the doorframe,
Speaker 1: but before I knew it, the door knocked me down
Speaker 1: and one of the tires ran over.
Speaker 3: My right leg.
Speaker 2: Jesus, uh, I mean you could have died.
Speaker 1: Don't drink and drive, It's what I was trying to
Speaker 1: tell you. The car rolled into the yard and into
Speaker 1: a tree. My border Collie mixed Cindy just simply looking
Speaker 1: at me until the car crashed, then decided to bark
Speaker 1: and alert my parents.
Speaker 3: Cindy's a narc. What the hell happened?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 3: Ask?
Speaker 1: I forgot to put the car into park, which I
Speaker 1: still do to this day, but thank goodness for modern
Speaker 1: safety features. When I showed up to school limping with
Speaker 1: the gigantic bruise on my leg, I lied and told
Speaker 1: my friends that something had been wrong. With the car
Speaker 1: and that park had been stripped out of the gearshift.
Speaker 1: So if any of my high school friends are murdery
Speaker 1: knows and remember this happening, I lied to you out
Speaker 1: of embarrassment. Sorry, I guess No, stay sexy and don't
Speaker 1: forget to put your car in park, Megan.
Speaker 2: I want to hear the best stories of people who
Speaker 2: did a really dumb thing and then blamed it on
Speaker 2: something totally like that had nothing to do.
Speaker 3: With it, just covered and lie because it was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then maybe got caught.
Speaker 1: We have family friends who the daughter went to take
Speaker 1: her driving test and passed, and everyone thought she wasn't
Speaker 1: going to get She was crazy smart, like became a surgeon,
Speaker 1: I think, but was very like yeah, not there in
Speaker 1: everything else in.
Speaker 3: The other ways.
Speaker 1: So she passed, pulled up in front of her house
Speaker 1: and was so excited she jumped out of the car
Speaker 1: to run in to tell her dad, and the car
Speaker 1: kept going because it was not only not in park, it.
Speaker 3: Was just she just got out.
Speaker 2: Thank you? Is that is that's it?
Speaker 3: I think that's it.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening everyone, If you want to hear more,
Speaker 2: we have one more bonus story on our fan cult.
Speaker 2: If you feel like.
Speaker 3: It, that's right.
Speaker 1: You can join our fancults at my Favorite Murder dot
Speaker 1: com dot com and then you can have all the
Speaker 1: secret content that we won't just give it any old person.
Speaker 3: This swings by who do you think you are?
Speaker 2: Kick God? Damn Uh?
Speaker 3: Stay sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 2: Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want to cookie?
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer
Speaker 2: is Tessa Hughes.
Speaker 3: Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.
Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.
Speaker 3: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.
Speaker 1: And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and
Speaker 1: the remind me bytons.
Speaker 3: That's the best way you can support our show.
Speaker 2: Bye h