WEBVTT - The Raid 0:00:15.356 --> 0:00:21.476 Pushkin. Jay Calpern. Here, before we get into this episode, 0:00:21.676 --> 0:00:23.516 I want to let you know that you can hear 0:00:23.716 --> 0:00:27.316 all episodes of deep Cover The Family Man ad free 0:00:27.676 --> 0:00:31.276 right now. By signing up for Pushkin Plus. You'll also 0:00:31.276 --> 0:00:35.516 get bonus episodes, full audiobooks, and true crime binges from 0:00:35.596 --> 0:00:39.916 your favorite Pushkin hosts and authors. Plus, your support helps 0:00:39.956 --> 0:00:44.116 independent shows like us continue making the content you crave. 0:00:45.116 --> 0:00:47.716 Sign up and save on the deep Cover Show page 0:00:47.996 --> 0:00:52.476 on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin dot fm Slash Plus. 0:00:53.316 --> 0:00:57.916 Use the code DC two five for twenty five percent 0:00:58.036 --> 0:01:02.196 off on annual subscriptions. All right, let's get into it. 0:01:06.356 --> 0:01:10.956 I remember it was late at night, like after we 0:01:10.996 --> 0:01:11.716 had gone to bed. 0:01:12.996 --> 0:01:18.196 For Marissa Giamanco, September eighteenth, two thousand and eight was 0:01:18.236 --> 0:01:22.676 the moment that everything changed, the last day of one 0:01:22.716 --> 0:01:24.956 life and the first day of another. 0:01:26.156 --> 0:01:28.516 I was sleeping in a big sweater, like one of 0:01:28.516 --> 0:01:32.556 my dad's sweaters actually, and I remember being like, I 0:01:32.596 --> 0:01:35.156 need to put some pants on. Before I entered the door. 0:01:36.076 --> 0:01:40.036 She had heard voices outside and then pounding on the 0:01:40.036 --> 0:01:45.596 front door. The Giamanco family lived in a cozy, one 0:01:45.676 --> 0:01:49.596 story shoe box of a house. There were only two bedrooms. 0:01:50.196 --> 0:01:52.556 Their dad, Keith, slept on a couch in the living 0:01:52.636 --> 0:01:54.876 room so that each of his daughters could have their 0:01:54.916 --> 0:01:58.916 own bedroom. Marissa and her twin sister were both seventeen 0:01:58.996 --> 0:02:03.956 years old seniors in high school, and on this particular night, 0:02:04.516 --> 0:02:08.116 they were worried about their dad. He hadn't come home 0:02:08.236 --> 0:02:12.316 or called or left any kind of message. The girls 0:02:12.316 --> 0:02:14.596 tried texting him but got no answer. 0:02:15.556 --> 0:02:16.196 It was weird. 0:02:17.196 --> 0:02:21.836 The family's dog, Lucky, peered out the window, and then 0:02:22.396 --> 0:02:25.556 late in the night came that pounding on the front door. 0:02:28.636 --> 0:02:31.116 So I'm all like scrambling to find some pajama pants 0:02:31.116 --> 0:02:34.956 to put on. They're all like knocking really loud, like, oh, well, 0:02:34.956 --> 0:02:38.996 the door. You know. I'm like, hold on, I need 0:02:39.036 --> 0:02:43.396 to find some pants. And my sister's like, who is that? 0:02:43.716 --> 0:02:45.236 And I'm like, I don't know. Do you know who 0:02:45.276 --> 0:02:48.636 it is? Because all we could see were flash lights, 0:02:48.676 --> 0:02:52.436 Like it was a very bright light, like that's that's 0:02:52.436 --> 0:02:55.116 what I remember. You could even see like the flashlight 0:02:55.236 --> 0:02:59.196 light coming underneath the wooden door before I even opened it, 0:02:59.756 --> 0:03:01.716 and you could just feel the pressure like dude, they're 0:03:01.716 --> 0:03:03.876 gonna open this door if we don't open this door. 0:03:05.036 --> 0:03:08.916 So Marissa opens the door and sees a whole lot 0:03:08.956 --> 0:03:12.436 of eyes with badges and flashlights. They asked to come in, 0:03:12.756 --> 0:03:16.516 and Marissa asks for a warrant, which I find kind 0:03:16.516 --> 0:03:19.076 of bold, Like how did you even think to do 0:03:19.156 --> 0:03:20.756 that at seventeen years old? 0:03:22.116 --> 0:03:25.676 I think it might have just been watching Law and Order, Like, honestly, 0:03:26.156 --> 0:03:29.276 if I'm being dead ass, like, you got to tell 0:03:29.316 --> 0:03:32.356 me why you come into my house, dude. So they 0:03:32.356 --> 0:03:36.356 handed us the warrant, which was a lot of language 0:03:36.876 --> 0:03:39.116 that I didn't understand at that time. 0:03:39.836 --> 0:03:43.396 And then a whole parade of law enforcement officials starts 0:03:43.436 --> 0:03:44.436 coming into their house. 0:03:45.476 --> 0:03:48.756 And it wasn't just the Floorsent police, it was the FBI, 0:03:49.596 --> 0:03:52.676 it was the county police. And I remember one of 0:03:52.716 --> 0:03:57.636 them saying, your dad is in a safe place. You 0:03:57.716 --> 0:04:01.316 don't have to worry about that. He's just in some trouble. 0:04:02.276 --> 0:04:05.356 Like that's literally what they said to me, Like nothing 0:04:05.396 --> 0:04:07.316 more than that some. 0:04:07.396 --> 0:04:14.436 Trouble's like WTF, Like what could Dad have possibly done 0:04:14.476 --> 0:04:22.876 to warrant all of this? Meanwhile, Lucky, the family dog, 0:04:23.476 --> 0:04:27.316 he's on the offensive, lunging in all of these intruders. 0:04:27.796 --> 0:04:30.196 One of the cops asked Marissa to control her dog, 0:04:30.836 --> 0:04:34.716 so she takes Lucky to the backyard. It was a hot, 0:04:34.836 --> 0:04:39.836 sticky night, the last bits of summer lingered. Marissa prided 0:04:39.876 --> 0:04:45.036 herself as a moody, rebellious, aspiring writer and so very 0:04:45.076 --> 0:04:49.036 much on brand. Marissa lights a cigarette and then she 0:04:49.196 --> 0:04:52.796 just stands there processing the chaos she just witnessed in 0:04:52.836 --> 0:04:53.356 her house. 0:04:54.396 --> 0:04:58.076 They are flipping over the couch cushions and looking in 0:04:58.156 --> 0:05:02.636 the vents and opening the closets, and I'm standing there 0:05:02.676 --> 0:05:06.396 smoking a cigarette and I'm just thinking, I'm like, damn, 0:05:06.436 --> 0:05:08.876 I hope they don't find my weed in my room. 0:05:09.356 --> 0:05:11.756 I had weed in the closet, so I you know, 0:05:11.796 --> 0:05:13.196 I was like, Damn, I don't want to get in 0:05:13.236 --> 0:05:15.516 trouble too. And Dad's going to be mad at me 0:05:15.556 --> 0:05:16.756 if he finds, you know what. 0:05:16.676 --> 0:05:20.396 I mean, Because at this point, Marissa is still assuming 0:05:20.436 --> 0:05:23.596 that her dad is coming home, that he's still going 0:05:23.636 --> 0:05:26.196 to be the one she has to answer to about 0:05:26.236 --> 0:05:29.756 school and walking the dog and the weed in her closet. 0:05:30.636 --> 0:05:34.556 But as this raid on her house continues, Marissa starts 0:05:34.596 --> 0:05:35.796 to scratch her head a bit. 0:05:36.436 --> 0:05:38.916 I racked my brain for anything, and I was like, 0:05:38.996 --> 0:05:41.636 I really don't know what dad would be doing. I'm like, 0:05:41.836 --> 0:05:47.076 was he like involved in an accident, or like, did 0:05:47.116 --> 0:05:49.316 he see something he wasn't supposed to. 0:05:50.836 --> 0:05:53.876 Marissa and her sister thought they knew who their father was. 0:05:54.676 --> 0:05:58.556 A mild mannered, kind of goofy, kind hearted midwestern guy, 0:05:59.196 --> 0:06:02.396 a single dad who loved hockey in sports trivia, a 0:06:02.476 --> 0:06:06.116 guy who showed up at their basketball games and orchestra concerts, 0:06:06.436 --> 0:06:08.956 a guy who drove them to school and his dad mobile, 0:06:09.596 --> 0:06:14.836 a light blue Mercury Grand Marquis and Keith Giamanco was 0:06:14.876 --> 0:06:27.236 this guy, but he was also someone else. This is 0:06:27.276 --> 0:06:31.476 a story about a crime, actually a series of crimes 0:06:31.876 --> 0:06:35.276 carried out by a mysterious figure who managed to evade 0:06:35.276 --> 0:06:40.756 the authorities, And it's about justice, about what punishment these 0:06:40.796 --> 0:06:45.676 crimes deserve. But at its core, for me, it's a 0:06:45.716 --> 0:06:48.876 story about the secrets that can exist within a family. 0:06:49.596 --> 0:06:52.236 It's about the disguises that parents put on for their 0:06:52.316 --> 0:06:56.956 kids and for the world. So much of parenting is 0:06:56.996 --> 0:06:59.876 built on lies, starting with the stories we tell our 0:06:59.956 --> 0:07:03.996 kids about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and then 0:07:04.076 --> 0:07:07.836 there are the lies of omission. We all withhold things 0:07:07.956 --> 0:07:11.876 in order to protect our children. We all Harbor secrets. 0:07:13.396 --> 0:07:21.996 It's just that some secrets are much bigger than others. 0:07:22.916 --> 0:07:26.956 I'm Jake Halbern and this is deep Cover The Family Man, 0:07:27.836 --> 0:07:51.396 Episode one, The Raid. Marissa Giamanca is now thirty five 0:07:51.476 --> 0:07:54.156 years old, and I met her for the first time 0:07:54.556 --> 0:07:57.596 on the side of a lonely, windswept road in east 0:07:57.676 --> 0:08:01.836 central Missouri. Marissa had suggested this spot, close to where 0:08:01.876 --> 0:08:05.356 she lives, as our rendezvous point. She had this idea 0:08:05.436 --> 0:08:08.316 that we take a road trip together. There were places 0:08:08.396 --> 0:08:11.116 that she wanted to take me, places that she thought 0:08:11.156 --> 0:08:14.476 I should see with my own eyes, places that still 0:08:14.516 --> 0:08:20.556 simmered with questions. Peering through my snow encrusted windshield, I 0:08:20.596 --> 0:08:23.156 saw a woman in a winter parka and a puffy 0:08:23.196 --> 0:08:26.596 penguin hat. I slowed down the car and she hopped in. 0:08:28.596 --> 0:08:28.796 Hi. 0:08:29.076 --> 0:08:29.916 Hi, I'm Jake. 0:08:30.236 --> 0:08:31.196 Hi, I'm Marissa. 0:08:32.476 --> 0:08:34.356 In all my years of doing this, I don't think 0:08:34.356 --> 0:08:36.276 I've ever just done an interview where I got into 0:08:36.276 --> 0:08:38.076 a car with someone and went on. 0:08:38.036 --> 0:08:40.996 A road trip with them. Yeah. Oh that's cool. Yeah, 0:08:41.036 --> 0:08:41.556 I love that. 0:08:42.276 --> 0:08:44.156 So where should we go first? 0:08:45.196 --> 0:08:48.596 I would say that let's start in floorcent because that's 0:08:48.716 --> 0:08:50.556 kind of where the story started. 0:08:52.476 --> 0:08:56.116 And just like that. We were off, driving through the snow, 0:08:56.476 --> 0:09:02.196 heading for the suburbs of Saint Louis. An hour and 0:09:02.236 --> 0:09:06.796 a half later we turned onto Abischon Street, a quaint 0:09:06.836 --> 0:09:11.156 suburban road with rows of handsome rick houses. Which houses 0:09:11.236 --> 0:09:11.756 it is. 0:09:11.756 --> 0:09:20.036 This one over here on the corner. Wow, the porch 0:09:20.116 --> 0:09:20.876 is still red. 0:09:23.076 --> 0:09:25.316 This is the house where Marissa and her sister grew 0:09:25.396 --> 0:09:28.396 up until the age of sixteen. So not the place 0:09:28.396 --> 0:09:31.556 where the police raided that night. This is where they 0:09:31.596 --> 0:09:36.316 lived before that. It's a spacious ranch house on a 0:09:36.396 --> 0:09:40.316 corner lot, a porch out front, a large front yard, 0:09:40.676 --> 0:09:45.836 tall trees. It's pretty in a quiet, unassuming way. For 0:09:45.876 --> 0:09:49.756 a while, Marissa just stared at her old home as 0:09:49.836 --> 0:09:54.356 if captured by its spell, ensnared by the invisible tendrils 0:09:54.396 --> 0:09:54.996 of memory. 0:09:56.236 --> 0:10:04.156 It almost feels surreal. Honestly, it feels surreal. Mom's flowers 0:10:04.196 --> 0:10:09.756 are gone, though, and there was a bird bath. She 0:10:09.796 --> 0:10:15.956 had a bird bath right there. But yeah, beautiful house. 0:10:19.076 --> 0:10:21.876 Back when Marissa was a young girl living in this house, 0:10:22.356 --> 0:10:25.156 her mother, Becky was still very much in the picture. 0:10:25.996 --> 0:10:28.676 Becky was also the one the girls went to when 0:10:28.716 --> 0:10:32.356 something felt hard. She'd sit with you, talk it through 0:10:32.996 --> 0:10:35.756 Becky was involved at the PTA at the girls' school 0:10:36.076 --> 0:10:38.596 and was a leader at their church, and she was 0:10:38.636 --> 0:10:39.676 an amazing cook. 0:10:40.476 --> 0:10:43.116 My favorite memory of my mom is in the kitchen, 0:10:43.636 --> 0:10:46.236 seeing her put her energy and that love into the 0:10:46.276 --> 0:10:49.396 food and then tasting the food like I still to 0:10:49.476 --> 0:10:55.036 this day have very rarely found a meal that feels 0:10:55.196 --> 0:10:58.436 as loving as Miss Becky Jumanco's. 0:10:58.956 --> 0:11:02.076 When Marissa talks about her parents, it feels like a 0:11:02.196 --> 0:11:06.876 very nineteen fifties arrangement. Each day, Becky would pack Keith 0:11:06.996 --> 0:11:11.516 lunch with a few sandwiches and Stanley Thermis. Then Keith 0:11:11.516 --> 0:11:13.676 would go off to the printing press where he worked. 0:11:14.276 --> 0:11:18.796 He'd come home tired, hands covered in ink. Marissa remembers 0:11:18.836 --> 0:11:21.636 sitting with her dad at night on the couch. She'd 0:11:21.676 --> 0:11:24.356 lie down with her head on his belly, feeling the 0:11:24.476 --> 0:11:27.676 rise and fall of his breaths until she fell asleep. 0:11:28.236 --> 0:11:31.956 Then he'd carry her off to bed. During the holidays, 0:11:32.116 --> 0:11:35.276 her parents decorated the whole house. Hung a wreath on 0:11:35.316 --> 0:11:38.996 the front door, wrote the word Noel in cursive lights 0:11:39.036 --> 0:11:42.076 on the roof, put a giant bow on the garage. 0:11:42.676 --> 0:11:47.516 Like the house itself was a beautifully wrapped gift. And 0:11:48.196 --> 0:11:51.796 it kind of was right up into the moment it 0:11:51.876 --> 0:12:16.956 began to unravel. Marissa has a twin sister named Elise, 0:12:17.756 --> 0:12:21.116 and like so many twins, they had a very close 0:12:21.236 --> 0:12:22.316 bond from the start. 0:12:23.276 --> 0:12:27.636 My earliest memory is us in our crib together and 0:12:27.836 --> 0:12:32.316 conspiring with each other through facial expressions on how we 0:12:32.316 --> 0:12:34.716 were going to get out of that crib. And she 0:12:34.996 --> 0:12:38.556 climbed up on my back and got out of the crib, 0:12:38.716 --> 0:12:41.556 and my mom had to run down the hallway and 0:12:41.596 --> 0:12:43.676 she was like, what are you doing? That is my 0:12:43.836 --> 0:12:44.876 earliest memory. 0:12:46.196 --> 0:12:50.156 I love this story from Elise because even in toddlerhood, 0:12:50.436 --> 0:12:55.076 they're already conspiring, already working together, already figuring things out, 0:12:55.916 --> 0:12:59.276 and in a strange way, they're rehearsing the very skill 0:12:59.476 --> 0:13:05.596 they'll need most later in life, escaping. Elise is the 0:13:05.636 --> 0:13:09.116 older twin by one minute, and even though they're twins 0:13:09.716 --> 0:13:12.636 in many ways, Alise played the part of the older sibling. 0:13:13.356 --> 0:13:18.356 She was taller, bigger, more talkative, and very organized. Alise 0:13:18.796 --> 0:13:20.396 she always loved checklists. 0:13:21.316 --> 0:13:21.916 I would be the. 0:13:21.876 --> 0:13:24.996 One to ask questions to my parents for us, or 0:13:25.076 --> 0:13:28.996 like even when we were kids, I would order for 0:13:29.036 --> 0:13:32.796 her at a restaurant. I was kind of her mouthpiece 0:13:32.956 --> 0:13:33.756 a lot of the time. 0:13:35.276 --> 0:13:38.236 Around the time the twins were ten years old, they 0:13:38.276 --> 0:13:41.636 remember their parents started to argue a lot. The girls 0:13:41.676 --> 0:13:44.876 floated through this turbulence, kind of the way kids do, 0:13:45.436 --> 0:13:49.596 listening and not listening, picking up bits and pieces like 0:13:49.716 --> 0:13:54.076 their parents bickering about food stamps, among other things. On 0:13:54.076 --> 0:13:57.196 one occasion, things got so heated that their mom shoved 0:13:57.196 --> 0:13:59.956 an ice cream cone into their dad's face. There was 0:13:59.996 --> 0:14:03.556 a lot of shouting. The girls remember the police showing up. 0:14:04.636 --> 0:14:07.196 It got to the point that Alice told me she 0:14:07.316 --> 0:14:09.556 actually wanted her parents to separate rate. 0:14:10.596 --> 0:14:13.956 I saw how things were going with them. I'm like, yes, 0:14:14.036 --> 0:14:16.916 please get away from each other. That really was what 0:14:16.996 --> 0:14:19.756 I was thinking. I was like, please take time away. 0:14:21.316 --> 0:14:24.756 Sometimes, Alise says, their mom got so fed up she'd 0:14:24.756 --> 0:14:27.356 go out to a local bowling alley and come home drunk, 0:14:27.836 --> 0:14:30.316 so drunk that one time she missed her bed and 0:14:30.396 --> 0:14:34.396 landed on the floor instead. Alise says that her mother 0:14:34.596 --> 0:14:38.476 changed from the perfect stay at home mom who volunteered 0:14:38.476 --> 0:14:43.436 with the PTA, morphing into someone else. Like one time 0:14:43.716 --> 0:14:46.996 Alise was playing in a middle school basketball game. She 0:14:47.116 --> 0:14:50.316 got called for a foul and then a moment later, 0:14:50.916 --> 0:14:52.196 a fire alarm went off. 0:14:53.156 --> 0:14:55.356 I'm on the court and I'm like, what the fuck? 0:14:57.036 --> 0:15:00.076 And some may ran over and she was like, your 0:15:00.116 --> 0:15:02.236 mom pulled the fire alarm, And I was like, what 0:15:03.116 --> 0:15:06.236 she pulled the fire alarm because she disagreed with the 0:15:06.276 --> 0:15:08.756 call and emptied out the entire gym. 0:15:09.556 --> 0:15:13.596 And it wasn't just erratic behavior. Elise says that her 0:15:13.596 --> 0:15:17.236 mother would vacillate from being an angel to a devil, 0:15:18.356 --> 0:15:25.116 no warning, no explanation. When the twins were twelve, it 0:15:25.156 --> 0:15:28.436 all came to a head. Here's how Marissa remembers it. 0:15:29.476 --> 0:15:33.516 I remember being in the kitchen in this house, and 0:15:33.836 --> 0:15:36.996 I remember my dad sitting at the kitchen table. I 0:15:37.036 --> 0:15:40.116 was like kind of directly like standing behind him, about 0:15:40.196 --> 0:15:42.836 like two feet away, and he had his hands up 0:15:42.916 --> 0:15:47.036 on the table like together, like clasped like up against 0:15:47.036 --> 0:15:51.276 his head, and I remember him saying, your mom's not 0:15:51.316 --> 0:15:56.196 coming back here, and just want to I just wanted 0:15:56.236 --> 0:15:58.676 to scream. I might have even screamed out loud. I 0:15:58.716 --> 0:15:59.036 don't know. 0:16:01.836 --> 0:16:05.436 This Apparently was their dad's decision. He asked her to leave, 0:16:05.956 --> 0:16:11.836 like he just finally had enough. Once Becky was gone, 0:16:12.596 --> 0:16:14.716 the girls were alone in the house with their father 0:16:15.436 --> 0:16:24.116 and the silent presence of unanswered questions with their mother gone. 0:16:24.356 --> 0:16:26.676 Ali says that their dad did his best to make 0:16:26.716 --> 0:16:30.516 their life as normal as possible. Keith embraced the role 0:16:30.556 --> 0:16:34.396 of a single dad, making meals, driving them to school, 0:16:34.396 --> 0:16:38.876 and his light blue Mercury Marquis the Dadmobile, taking them 0:16:38.876 --> 0:16:42.236 to practice, putting them in therapy with a family counselor, 0:16:42.756 --> 0:16:45.196 and just encouraging them. 0:16:45.596 --> 0:16:50.316 I think he tried to protect us. I think he 0:16:50.396 --> 0:16:55.796 was partially successful. And I say partially because I think 0:16:56.836 --> 0:17:01.836 many folks forget that children are smarter than we think 0:17:01.876 --> 0:17:06.556 they are, and they're so observant, and that was no 0:17:06.676 --> 0:17:08.236 exception for Merissa and I. 0:17:09.876 --> 0:17:12.876 It was clear to the girls that Keith, despite everything 0:17:12.916 --> 0:17:16.516 that he was doing, was struggling grieving the loss of 0:17:16.556 --> 0:17:20.996 his wife. Once, when Marissa came home from school, she 0:17:21.076 --> 0:17:23.716 found him on the stairs down to the basement with 0:17:23.836 --> 0:17:28.116 his wedding album in hand, looking through the pages and weeping. 0:17:29.156 --> 0:17:30.836 It was one of the only times she ever saw 0:17:30.836 --> 0:17:35.196 her dad cry. She knew he was grieving, but from 0:17:35.196 --> 0:17:39.236 a kid's perspective, none of it fully made sense. Her 0:17:39.276 --> 0:17:45.836 mother's behavior, her parents' separation, her father's explanation, and despite 0:17:45.876 --> 0:17:49.636 her best efforts, Marissa just couldn't get through to him. 0:17:50.596 --> 0:17:56.156 I remember having to say his name. I would be like, Dad, Dad, Dad, Keith. 0:17:56.956 --> 0:17:59.996 You literally you'd have to go through like the list 0:17:59.996 --> 0:18:02.716 of names to get him to pay attention. I remember 0:18:02.716 --> 0:18:04.676 the first time I did that, standing in the kitchen. 0:18:04.716 --> 0:18:07.676 He was staring out that window right there, and I 0:18:07.796 --> 0:18:11.036 was literally like, there is something than wrong right now, 0:18:11.796 --> 0:18:14.116 like and obviously I was twelve years old. I couldn't 0:18:14.156 --> 0:18:17.036 put my finger on it. But it was it was anxiety, 0:18:17.116 --> 0:18:21.236 it was defeat, it was it was fear. She says. 0:18:21.356 --> 0:18:24.036 She called him by his first name because she needed 0:18:24.036 --> 0:18:27.196 to get his attention, but it went deeper than this, 0:18:27.796 --> 0:18:31.476 because in that moment, anyway, her father had seemed less 0:18:31.516 --> 0:18:34.716 like a dad and more like just a guy named Keith, 0:18:35.676 --> 0:18:43.636 well meaning kind, but removed in some way unknowable. Meanwhile, 0:18:43.956 --> 0:18:48.876 their mother did come back repeatedly, but in the strangest 0:18:48.916 --> 0:18:49.996 of ways. 0:18:50.596 --> 0:18:54.996 She would knock on my bedroom window, so the back 0:18:55.036 --> 0:18:59.476 window of this house, in the middle of the night 0:19:00.396 --> 0:19:03.636 and asked me, can you grab the vacuum cleaner and 0:19:03.716 --> 0:19:06.476 hand it to me out the window? Can you hand 0:19:06.516 --> 0:19:08.516 me this piece of jewelry and hand it to me 0:19:08.516 --> 0:19:11.996 out the window and don't tell your dad that I 0:19:12.116 --> 0:19:15.276 was here. That's when I was like, there is something 0:19:15.316 --> 0:19:19.836 going on. Is when she started visiting my window in 0:19:19.876 --> 0:19:20.636 the middle of the night. 0:19:21.836 --> 0:19:26.516 Naturally, Marissa asked her dad about this, like what was 0:19:26.516 --> 0:19:27.476 going on with mom? 0:19:28.396 --> 0:19:31.596 Yep? Dad was like, your mom's sick. That's how he 0:19:31.676 --> 0:19:33.676 kind of tried to explain it at the time. Was 0:19:33.876 --> 0:19:39.036 she's sick, she has a disease. There was no further explanation. 0:19:39.356 --> 0:19:41.036 It was she's sick in the head. 0:19:42.396 --> 0:19:44.116 I mean, how do you make sense of that? As 0:19:44.356 --> 0:19:44.996 a kid? 0:19:45.916 --> 0:19:48.556 You don't. It sits with you and you're like, well, 0:19:48.676 --> 0:19:50.636 guess my mom's sick in the head? Am I sick 0:19:50.676 --> 0:19:53.836 in the head? I love my mom? My mom was 0:19:53.876 --> 0:19:56.756 always taken care of me. Is she really that sick? 0:19:56.796 --> 0:20:00.796 And then are you sick in then? Like there's a 0:20:00.836 --> 0:20:03.316 lot going on when somebody says that to you. 0:20:04.716 --> 0:20:06.956 The girls were left to think back on their mother 0:20:07.516 --> 0:20:10.476 all the strange things that she had done as they 0:20:10.516 --> 0:20:13.236 tried to make sense of it all. Were there other 0:20:13.276 --> 0:20:15.716 things besides the handing stuff out the window where you 0:20:15.756 --> 0:20:17.396 started to see something was off with your. 0:20:17.316 --> 0:20:23.636 Mom well, the erratic behaviors, the slurring of words, the 0:20:24.516 --> 0:20:27.636 nodding out, the not being able to stay conscious. And 0:20:27.676 --> 0:20:32.916 then there's the opposite, extremely energetic, talkative, not able to 0:20:32.956 --> 0:20:36.556 sit still, like I remember her howling like a dog 0:20:36.636 --> 0:20:40.236 at some point in the bathroom, like saying can I 0:20:40.276 --> 0:20:40.836 get more? 0:20:42.156 --> 0:20:45.436 At some point it became clear to Marissa that can 0:20:45.476 --> 0:20:48.956 I get more meant can I get more drugs? 0:20:49.836 --> 0:20:52.276 So it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, 0:20:52.396 --> 0:20:53.556 you know what's going on. 0:20:57.716 --> 0:21:00.796 Keith may have had the best of intentions. He may 0:21:00.836 --> 0:21:04.156 have wanted what so many parents want, to protect their 0:21:04.236 --> 0:21:10.796 kids from pain, but his solution was a lie of omission. Ultimately, 0:21:10.796 --> 0:21:14.476 his daughters would make two realizations. The first was that 0:21:14.516 --> 0:21:18.396 their mother was struggling mightily with addiction, and the second 0:21:18.676 --> 0:21:22.796 was that Keith was an unreliable narrator of sorts, someone 0:21:22.836 --> 0:21:24.876 who could not be counted on to tell them about 0:21:24.876 --> 0:21:28.476 the harder truths, even the ones that were essential to 0:21:28.516 --> 0:21:32.676 their understanding of the world. And this is kind of 0:21:32.676 --> 0:21:36.396 how life went for the twins. Their lives were like 0:21:36.436 --> 0:21:40.196 a novel where all the transitions and explanations had been 0:21:40.236 --> 0:21:46.116 stripped out, leaving just a string of disorienting moments that 0:21:46.156 --> 0:22:05.996 would make any reader feel bewildered. Keith had always told 0:22:05.996 --> 0:22:08.796 his daughters that they needed to dream big and think 0:22:08.836 --> 0:22:13.796 about life beyond Fluorescent Missouri. When they turned fourteen, he 0:22:13.916 --> 0:22:17.076 enrolled them in a fancy all girls private school called 0:22:17.156 --> 0:22:22.156 Narynx Hall. The girls weren't exactly enthusiastic about this, but 0:22:22.596 --> 0:22:25.836 Keith insisted on it and claimed they could afford it. 0:22:27.876 --> 0:22:30.196 By then, he had stopped working at the printing press 0:22:30.516 --> 0:22:33.156 and told the girls that he was day trading, using 0:22:33.156 --> 0:22:36.556 his own money to buy and sell stocks. But money 0:22:36.596 --> 0:22:39.716 was always kind of weird with Keith. At least. Recalled 0:22:39.876 --> 0:22:43.516 one time they went to an outback steakhouse and when 0:22:43.516 --> 0:22:46.836 it came time to pay, Keith peeled off a crisp 0:22:46.956 --> 0:22:49.996 one hundred dollars bill, half of which was a tip. 0:22:50.756 --> 0:22:55.036 Super flashy, But then she remembers his other time midway 0:22:55.036 --> 0:22:57.756 through high school when she wasn't allowed to take her 0:22:57.796 --> 0:23:03.156 final exams because dad hadn't paid their tuition, so the 0:23:03.156 --> 0:23:08.556 family's finances they felt shaky. And then one day, when 0:23:08.596 --> 0:23:12.476 the girls were sixteen, Marissa recalls her father telling them 0:23:12.836 --> 0:23:16.156 they had to move immediately. 0:23:17.276 --> 0:23:20.236 Like it was quick, like I'm saying my dad went 0:23:20.276 --> 0:23:22.956 in the garage and said, you can keep two bikes. 0:23:23.156 --> 0:23:25.916 Because I love bikes. I probably had like twelve bikes, 0:23:26.156 --> 0:23:28.236 so he was like, you have to set all of 0:23:28.276 --> 0:23:30.916 them out for free. We'll try to sell some of them. 0:23:31.516 --> 0:23:33.316 It was like, do you want to keep this? You 0:23:33.356 --> 0:23:36.276 can't keep that, Like we have to get out of here. 0:23:37.156 --> 0:23:41.396 That was like super freaky, like when you're a kid. 0:23:41.636 --> 0:23:44.556 This is when they moved to that shoebox size house, 0:23:44.876 --> 0:23:48.996 the one where the police raid eventually occurred. Here, you 0:23:49.076 --> 0:23:52.196 might remember, the girls each had a small bedroom and 0:23:52.316 --> 0:23:55.956 Keith slept on the couch. During this time, Keith was 0:23:55.956 --> 0:23:58.476 out of the house a lot, and Marissa and her 0:23:58.476 --> 0:24:02.196 sister Elise used to guess about where their dad went 0:24:02.636 --> 0:24:03.836 and what he did. 0:24:04.396 --> 0:24:06.556 We came up with different scenarios in our head. This 0:24:06.676 --> 0:24:11.116 was my joke. My joke was Dad bills build swing 0:24:11.196 --> 0:24:13.436 sets in his spared time. I was like, he must 0:24:13.476 --> 0:24:16.436 be going to build swing sets. That's what I used 0:24:16.516 --> 0:24:19.836 to say as a joke because I was like I can't. 0:24:19.876 --> 0:24:23.036 I can't literally can't can't figure it out. So I'm 0:24:23.036 --> 0:24:24.996 just gonna fucking fill it in with some joke. 0:24:26.156 --> 0:24:28.556 At last remembers asking him where he was off to, 0:24:29.156 --> 0:24:31.636 and he would sometimes tell her, I don't have to 0:24:31.636 --> 0:24:35.116 tell you where I'm going, She says, with him, it 0:24:35.236 --> 0:24:40.276 was pure Scooby Doo mystery. Those are her words. When 0:24:40.316 --> 0:24:43.476 it became undeniable that things were wrong, like when they 0:24:43.516 --> 0:24:46.516 had to vacate their house, a lease offered to help. 0:24:47.436 --> 0:24:50.636 I also had a job at the time at the 0:24:50.716 --> 0:24:55.396 Danna Republic, working at the mall, and I even was like, 0:24:56.236 --> 0:24:58.716 do you want help with the bills or whatever? And 0:24:58.996 --> 0:25:04.916 my dess said, you know, no, save your money. We're fine. 0:25:05.156 --> 0:25:08.996 But clearly things were not fine. There were problems by 0:25:09.516 --> 0:25:12.396 that needed to be checked and weren't. And you can 0:25:12.436 --> 0:25:16.916 start to see why Elise loved checklists. In the small 0:25:16.996 --> 0:25:20.556 part of the world that she could control, she wanted order. 0:25:21.876 --> 0:25:25.196 Elise didn't really get much more clarity until the start 0:25:25.276 --> 0:25:28.276 of her senior year. They'd been living in the shoe 0:25:28.276 --> 0:25:31.596 box house for about nine months. It seemed like Keith 0:25:31.716 --> 0:25:35.476 was out a lot selling swing sets or whatever he did. 0:25:36.196 --> 0:25:39.556 And then came that muggy night in two thousand and eight, 0:25:40.356 --> 0:25:41.236 the night of the raid. 0:25:43.636 --> 0:25:47.636 We're waiting for our dad to finally go home or 0:25:47.716 --> 0:25:54.436 come home and that never happened, and I'm thinking about 0:25:54.436 --> 0:26:02.356 calling hospitals. I'm thinking about calling the police because it's 0:26:02.436 --> 0:26:05.116 just not like my dad to not show up like that. 0:26:06.076 --> 0:26:08.876 But it had been a long day. Elise had school 0:26:09.156 --> 0:26:10.196 and then a shift at work. 0:26:10.956 --> 0:26:13.316 She was beat. I have to lay it down. At 0:26:13.356 --> 0:26:17.636 this point, changed into my nightgown. I get into bed, 0:26:18.996 --> 0:26:24.556 and I see a flashlight coming through my window, and 0:26:24.556 --> 0:26:30.036