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Speaker 1: M. Welcome back to alchemy. Then I'm your host. Kevin.

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Speaker 1: I like, yes, that's right, that Kevin po But hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: what's that? Well? When I said yes to the film,

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Speaker 1: Joanna man will Smith was attached to play the lead. Okay,

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Speaker 1: please don't try to stay with me here. Throughout my career,

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Speaker 1: I've been fortunate to see my fair share of true alchemy.

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Speaker 1: By definition, alchemy is quote when a person transforms or

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Speaker 1: creates something through a seemingly magical process. And my dear

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Speaker 1: stems and seeds, like I said, I've been witnessed to

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Speaker 1: the stuff on several occasions. An example, sure you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be like that. Let's see the role of Columbo was

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Speaker 1: originally offered to Bing Crosby, and I don't think the

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Speaker 1: show would have been as magical if the lieutenant said,

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Speaker 1: h boy, I hate to bother you, but can I

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Speaker 1: ask you one last question? Breatruth? I digress. The point, folks,

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Speaker 1: is that an idea hit me square in the old box?

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Speaker 1: Are rocks? What have I brought together the right creative

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Speaker 1: people forced them to make shut up? Based on my

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Speaker 1: own twisted, demented ideas and maybe some of yours from

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Speaker 1: emails you sent in, But damn it, I would then

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Speaker 1: put together a podcast that featured this seemingly magical process,

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Speaker 1: and I could call it alchemy on my shoulders makes

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Speaker 1: me happy. Well, after a month of tinkering, I'm so

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Speaker 1: very proud to welcome you, dear friends, the episode of Alchemy. This.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet our alchemists, shall we? In no particular order?

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Speaker 1: Say hello to Vanessa Raglan Vaness? What time is the

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Speaker 1: best time? Night time? He got it right, knighted up

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Speaker 1: as Joey GUACAMOLEI better known as Joey Greer. Joe what

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Speaker 1: day's best for loving? All? Right? Whatever, sir? And how

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Speaker 1: about it? James Heney, what's Easter mean to your son? Oh? God,

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Speaker 1: I just can't believe you said my name without any

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Speaker 1: other attachment. Easter to my son it means he was born? Uh,

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Speaker 1: I don't have on Wait? Wait do you yes to

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Speaker 1: and me? Wait? Okay, I have kids. I got lots

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Speaker 1: of kids and I love the kids. Look out, it's

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Speaker 1: Mr Christoforado. Chris, where do you get off? Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Last but one your drawers? If you think LEAs Mr

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski, Greig, tell the folks where you're schooled down

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Speaker 1: the old schoolyard with me and Julio. All right, let's

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Speaker 1: get to our first scene. The scene is home for

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Speaker 1: Easter holiday, a widower, two adult children, forty somewhere in there,

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Speaker 1: one of their younger second wives, and one teenage grand

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Speaker 1: child whose favorite TV show sitcom is a show called

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Speaker 1: the Hell You Say? Okay, everyone who wants to cut

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Speaker 1: the Easter ham? Dad, Dad, tradition, we always have sit down.

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Speaker 1: Sit down. I stand at Easter. That's a tradition. Al right,

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Speaker 1: we all stand with a standing table. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to even be here. I'm not as real mom, so

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like I should say any sweeter. It's

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Speaker 1: never too late to discipline these kids. I'm telling you,

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Speaker 1: he can call you mom, no, thank you. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to call her mom either. She doesn't like it,

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Speaker 1: and I don't like her. All right with Steve, Steve mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm your dad, right of course, So just listen to

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Speaker 1: me and listen to your grandpa. Steve. You want to

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Speaker 1: cut the Easter ham? That's he was extreme Dad. I mean, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 1: give me that knife, okay, now watch it. It's a

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Speaker 1: very sharp knife. I'm not an idiot, Grandpa, watch out.

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Speaker 1: Ma just had it sharpened at the farmer's market last

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Speaker 1: It was nice. That was nice, Steve, Thank you. I disagree.

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Speaker 1: I think it ages me. I don't think that's who

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Speaker 1: I am. That's not how I see myself. And I

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Speaker 1: think it's weird to impose this on us. This is

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Speaker 1: very new. Okay, okay, okay, that's true. I love you, baby,

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Speaker 1: I love you. Thank you. We're getting to each other.

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Speaker 1: I love you. Yeah, you know you know where I

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Speaker 1: stand on that. I know. Pops, Kyle, welcome to the family.

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Speaker 1: I guess. I mean, what's up? Can you just take

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Speaker 1: your earphones off the table? Dude? What's up? We're doing

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Speaker 1: hand Pops? Cal and Shelly we met briefly at the

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Speaker 1: wedding that killed it on the dance floor. I wish

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Speaker 1: your brother could move like you, Debra. I wish you

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Speaker 1: didn't use your name Shelly to my younger brother, because

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Speaker 1: I know Shelly is like your party name party that dad.

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Speaker 1: When she has a couple of white sins in her

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Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden, she wish I had a

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Speaker 1: party name. I can get me one. How about Rock?

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, this is a big tradition here in

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Speaker 1: our family. Okay, the first cut always well, Mom used

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Speaker 1: to do the first cut and yeah, God, God rest

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Speaker 1: your soul. So we never got a pre cut ham.

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Speaker 1: We never once got a pre cut ham. We cut

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Speaker 1: the ham here at the table. So the fact that

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Speaker 1: Grandpa wants you to do it, it's a big deal.

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Speaker 1: I know it's a big deal. I'm trying. Okay, if

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Speaker 1: you want me to do it, well, I'm crying. I

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Speaker 1: could cut somebody. I could. I'm not fighting with you.

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Speaker 1: Watch how does not what my son would be like.

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Speaker 1: He's just swimming that knife for I wonder, I wonder

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Speaker 1: where he got that from. I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the one person that used to throw knives in

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Speaker 1: the basement. I told him that was adult zone. He

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Speaker 1: came down what he wanted to. It's bad. I used

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Speaker 1: to throw a knife like a good brother, alright, but

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Speaker 1: I never saw anyone could throw a knife. Proud of you.

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Speaker 1: I love you. I love you too. And I just

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Speaker 1: want to say, for the record here at Easter, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry about the dead mom Um and your dead wife. Dad, Dad,

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Speaker 1: have a seat, have a seat, okay, Um, I'll say

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Speaker 1: the words. Mom, used to say, creepy, we're all here

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Speaker 1: to win in her voice. Where all music to my ears?

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Speaker 1: Because the Lord wanted it this way and I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have it any other way, Debra. Kyle, he was squeezing

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Speaker 1: my hand side. Kyle, will you bring it home the

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Speaker 1: way Mom used to? And it's all about family. Family.

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Speaker 1: It sounds just like her. I love you, all right, buddy,

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Speaker 1: you guys watch Kyle. I mean, okay, here it is.

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Speaker 1: It's simple. It's cut right here. Good. You're mangling it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not mangling it. It's it's ste You should be

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Speaker 1: able to get a good piece of ham out of it.

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Speaker 1: I'll just cut it. I'm cutting. It's a sharp knife.

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Speaker 1: Ham is tough. I'm trying. It's not a tough ham

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Speaker 1: kind of traded. Kyle. Cut that penetrate like I mean

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Speaker 1: I did. I penetrated the skin. Jeez, the knife is

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Speaker 1: stuck in there. Hold on here, just let me help

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Speaker 1: you let me. Oh my god, Dad, stop, come on

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Speaker 1: me to the kitchen. Oh yeah, I'm dever right now

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Speaker 1: throwing some knives. You're so good at that. Whatever it

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Speaker 1: is a thing I do. Happy Easter, Happy Easter. Would

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Speaker 1: you give up for lent. I like that. I don't

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Speaker 1: give up ship, I take gone more stuff. Wow. Well,

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Speaker 1: I just want you to know right now that can

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Speaker 1: never happen again. All right, I guess we can do

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Speaker 1: something else, though, we'll put some pressure on it. You're

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Speaker 1: bleeding all over the goddamn play dad, Dad, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to tell you something. I've been going through your accounts,

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Speaker 1: spending money like crazy. I give you a monthly allowance

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Speaker 1: and you blow it. What are you blowing? I don't

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Speaker 1: want a monthly allowance anymore? What do you mean? How

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Speaker 1: else are you gonna get money? Well, what's the point

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Speaker 1: of money if other to spend it? You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to be around for much longer. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: want your inheritance. While we were in the kitchen, I'm

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Speaker 1: not eating this ham. There's blood all over it. It's

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Speaker 1: your same blood. It's your blood. We have the same blood.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if Jesus's blood is what it is.

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Speaker 1: It's my blood. Dad. I love you too, Okay? Why

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Speaker 1: do I feel like the bad guy here today? Debra?

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Speaker 1: This morning, when we woke up, you looked more beautiful

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Speaker 1: than ever. Thank you. And you also look more beautiful

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Speaker 1: than ever know if that she looked more BEAUTIFU you

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Speaker 1: weren't there when we woke up. All right, this is

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Speaker 1: what I'm sweet, Okay. I just I'm doing a lot here, okay,

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Speaker 1: and my fingers still bleeding. You guys went to the

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Speaker 1: kitchen and nothing. I just feel like, let's go back.

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Speaker 1: I'll just use my shirt the kitchen. We'll get another shirt.

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Speaker 1: We'll get another shirt in the kitchen. I'll be right back.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get another chirt from the kitchen. So

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Speaker 1: you can never kiss yet. I don't want to kissing you.

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Speaker 1: That's something I will give up kissing. Yeah, fork is

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Speaker 1: stuck in the refrigerator. Yeah, I want you to take

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Speaker 1: that forecut and I want you to stab it run

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Speaker 1: above my knee. What are you looking at on that

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Speaker 1: goddamn phone? Kid, I'm watching YouTube videos, YouTube videos. I'm

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Speaker 1: watching my favorite clips from my show. Tell me about it. Well,

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Speaker 1: this is it's a bunch of kids that treat their

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Speaker 1: adults that are around the real rude like they should be.

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Speaker 1: This is this is the the kid you're raising. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, Dad, Okay, I give you up like this, Dad,

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Speaker 1: what are you spending six hundred dollars a month on entertainment. Entertainment,

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Speaker 1: A movie is nine dollars with your discount. I don't

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Speaker 1: always get the discount. It's ages, all right, yes, like

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Speaker 1: I got a strip club sometimes. Mr. Your mob right.

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Speaker 1: I heard Kyle really bad, Kyle really bad? Okay, Shelly, Kyle, Kyle,

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Speaker 1: I might want to let you bleed out, to be honest, No,

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Speaker 1: let it happen. It's my time. It's not your time. Oh,

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Speaker 1: Jesus take me instead, Jesus take me. Don't take this

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Speaker 1: beautiful boy. What's mom? Why would you? I'm not your mom? Dad?

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Speaker 1: Why she'll be read here? She doesn't even love either,

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Speaker 1: but she clearly look at how goddamn pretty she is.

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Speaker 1: Dist and she's a dentist. I know I have pretty

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Speaker 1: best up teeth, dad, but I don't care, like I

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Speaker 1: don't need him to get fixed. Kyle, Yeah, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: make it. I don't know. I hit my knee. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm going to bleed out all my bloods in

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Speaker 1: my knee right now, and it's coming out my knee.

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Speaker 1: You know what I say. We used this as an opportunity.

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Speaker 1: Put your knee over the ham. Everyone cut themselves. We're

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Speaker 1: all gonna add to the blood Ham. Let's make this

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Speaker 1: blood ham. Let's go. Here we go. This is the

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Speaker 1: only way to handle this. Yep, all right, here we go. Okay, baby,

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Speaker 1: cut yourself? Did it? Good? Good? Good? Dad? Whoa that's

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Speaker 1: a big one, Steve. I okay, oh good. I just

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Speaker 1: want to say, Shelly, I've loved this is the first day.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say that. It wasn't love that

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Speaker 1: I was feeling. But we had this weird chemistry and

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Speaker 1: I liked following it where it went, but not having

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Speaker 1: to come home to it. All right, here's what I'm

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Speaker 1: willing to do. Here's what I'm willing to do. Kyle.

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Speaker 1: You can have Shelley as long as I can have

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Speaker 1: my Deborah. Deal dead deal, Stop spending so much money.

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Speaker 1: All right. I feel like our family has never been

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Speaker 1: closer than this. God takes Steve. Everybody, Let's take one

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Speaker 1: bite of this hand, pass it around, and as the

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Speaker 1: Rogerson's bled out over the beautiful Ham. It would only

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Speaker 1: be another week before young Steve was cast in the

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Speaker 1: long running popular sitcom The Hell You Say. He joined

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Speaker 1: that sitcom in season eleven. Would I'll take you to

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Speaker 1: the table read of the first episode of season eleven

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Speaker 1: of the hell you say. Al Right, guys, is everybody ready?

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Speaker 1: We don't have a lot of time today. We started

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Speaker 1: late already because nobody seems to be able to get

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Speaker 1: here on time. I have seventy seven thousand Instagram followers now,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, i'd say I'm ready. It's not that much.

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Speaker 1: I'd say I'm ready. We're ready, We already. I'm ready

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Speaker 1: to pretend I'm thirteen again. Where are we reading from.

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Speaker 1: We're going from the We're going to take it from

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Speaker 1: the top, because you guys have got to get the

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Speaker 1: first part recorded. Okay, can you not just the attitude?

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Speaker 1: I am stressing out because I am nearly going to

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Speaker 1: lose my job because I'm working with a bunch of

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Speaker 1: middle aged teenagers. I wish I could lose my job. Careful,

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Speaker 1: how hard you wish? Bitch? Okay, oh my god, did

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Speaker 1: you hear that? If you were, i'd feel bad. But

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Speaker 1: you're old enough to hear that kind of language. Now,

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Speaker 1: just sit down, pull out your scripts. I need water.

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Speaker 1: I'd like a juice box. Juice box, it gets me

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Speaker 1: and my character. All right, I'll be right back when

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Speaker 1: I come back in here. You guys better be ready

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Speaker 1: to work. Stop causing Jesus Christ Blake, do you have

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Speaker 1: a hundred forty Instagram followers? What the funk, dude, it's

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Speaker 1: not even my account. It's like, hell, you say Brazilian,

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Speaker 1: they just got They just like flood them in. There's

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Speaker 1: no way you're a popular pop Jesus, this is run

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Speaker 1: forever because like this, you can't even say your own words,

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Speaker 1: much less the ship they're telling us. I had an

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Speaker 1: adult lisp until this show. Okay, I'm working on my

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Speaker 1: diction because diction is done with the tip of the

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Speaker 1: tongue and the teeth. We've been supportive of it, man,

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Speaker 1: We've been completely supportive. All right. You make it as

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Speaker 1: if we don't like unless we don't care. Man, just

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Speaker 1: affects the job, that's what we care about. And here's

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Speaker 1: a water, here's a juice box, and here's a Miller

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Speaker 1: high a lot of energy you're coming in with. I

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Speaker 1: am sorry, I'm trying to calm down, but I just

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm babysitting. Are getting Did you change shirts?

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Speaker 1: You did change shirts that I spilled on my shirt?

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Speaker 1: Is that a lady shirt? A woman? That's one of

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Speaker 1: my shirts? What the hell? You can't take stuff from

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Speaker 1: the rack. You can't wear Claire's stuff, thank you. Nobody's

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Speaker 1: wearing that rack clothes. This is from a previous hold

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Speaker 1: on one second. Hello, Yeah, hey, it's Tim. I just

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Speaker 1: want to give your heads up that the Craig the

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Speaker 1: network guys coming back. Oh no, this isn't a good take,

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Speaker 1: and he's running late, but he's gonna be there. No,

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Speaker 1: tell him to turn around. This is what I can do.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, thanks, all right. Blouse does not work for you, listen,

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Speaker 1: it's working for me. Wide Can we just go Okay, listen,

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Speaker 1: somebody's coming in here, and I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: the bearer of bad news. So we always are. You

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Speaker 1: always are. Craig's coming in the seasons. We know who

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Speaker 1: Craig is. He doesn't come in because things are working good.

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Speaker 1: Are you reading the script or not, Julio? Will you

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Speaker 1: do the stage directions? Of course? Will Okay, let's do

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Speaker 1: this thing and do the laughs too. We can't do

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Speaker 1: it without the laughs, Julio, I mean I'll do the

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Speaker 1: last diction is done with the tip of the tongue

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Speaker 1: and the teeth. Exterior house day inside? What was that?

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Speaker 1: What was the staterior? Day inside? Wait? Why is it exterior?

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Speaker 1: If it's inside, it's a it's a jump cut, idiot,

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Speaker 1: it's exterior. Then we cut to interior. Tell me, just

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Speaker 1: tell us where we are. Oh my god, my pets,

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Speaker 1: sit are just canceled. Oh I am hey, guys, so sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm l oh my gosh, Bi Craig from Network. No,

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Speaker 1: I know. I thought you were going to be late.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was m back what I cig's not

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Speaker 1: on the show. You are so funny, Come on, come on,

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Speaker 1: not my acting days behind me? No, No, I saw

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Speaker 1: the show you did. How did you? How did you

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Speaker 1: find that? How did you find that? Everything's out there? Okay,

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Speaker 1: real quick? Can I get a selfie with you? Real quick? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: You don't have to say yes. Nice, nice numbers on social.

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Speaker 1: Got to get those numbers up though. I try to

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Speaker 1: get those numbers up because it's really important. Yes. Uh.

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Speaker 1: There's there's a girl on Instagram with two point three

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Speaker 1: million if you, if you guys could get her on.

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Speaker 1: She's got two point three million followers. She takes selfies

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Speaker 1: with her parents every day. She's very hot, big tits,

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Speaker 1: very funny. I don't know, can be great. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if she can be worked into this episode. It

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Speaker 1: sounds like a valuable person this episode. You're the script

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Speaker 1: is right here. There's not really an extra okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just throwing it out there, and there's probably some

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Speaker 1: thing we can throw her. I'm sure, I'm sure of it. Okay. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Well sorry, let's see what picking up where you work?

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Speaker 1: Where you work? Okay, Well, Lucky, we're just at the

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Speaker 1: beginning exterior day interior Okay, okay, I'm sorry, yeah, exterior interior.

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Speaker 1: Could we go interior exterior like that? Okay, okay, let's

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Speaker 1: just I'm gonna scratch this out, okay, so just interior.

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Speaker 1: This is JO. Just print off some new ones with

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Speaker 1: that exterior in there. Okay, can you just do that

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Speaker 1: real quick? Thank you? All right, I'll be right back,

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Craig. I just want to say I love yourself. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I love yourself. I just no, please, please. One. We've

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Speaker 1: been talking about me doing a spin off, something more adult,

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Speaker 1: and the script I gave you was in I thought

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Speaker 1: it was in great shape, and I was just wondering

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Speaker 1: if you had any thoughts on this script you gave me.

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Speaker 1: Did you give it to me? I did, yeah? Or

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Speaker 1: did you give it to Anita. I gave it to you,

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Speaker 1: gave it to you, give it to Anita, because it

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Speaker 1: gets to me fast. You said you were excited about it, right,

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Speaker 1: I'm super excited about I'm super excited about the idea

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Speaker 1: of a spin off. You know, if you if you

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Speaker 1: go through Anita, it gets to me faster than if

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Speaker 1: you give it to me directly. Okay, sorry to pull

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Speaker 1: it away, but okay, I'm having some trouble with the

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Speaker 1: character now. You're you're you're making him smaller, and I

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Speaker 1: just feel as so performance wise, I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 1: being able to give everything I want to give. You're

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Speaker 1: upset with the plot point of view being shrunk, yes

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Speaker 1: to six inches? Yes, okay, I just feel so literally

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Speaker 1: it's harder to see me. You know. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're still gonna do close ups of your shrunk character,

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Speaker 1: and there's gonna be you know, there's gonna be like

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Speaker 1: a giant you interacting with a giant cat. I'm so sorry,

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Speaker 1: all right, it is is that this is the same

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Speaker 1: thing it was the dress. I just unfolded it. It's listen,

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Speaker 1: this is the first episode of seasonal leven. These are

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Speaker 1: still hot. I'm gonna pass it around. Oh, I mean

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Speaker 1: those are hot. You need to warn people. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's a script printer. It gets hot. That's ink, Toner,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell. Are you mad at this? Julio?

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Speaker 1: Mad at you? Hullo? Your calves are nice? Thanks? Thanks?

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Speaker 1: Greig watches watches the hell you say? I'm like, the

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Speaker 1: hell you say? How are you supposed to be doing

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Speaker 1: me right now? Yeah? I'm just doing what you What

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Speaker 1: the hell you say? After all these years, you guys

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Speaker 1: are still finding new inflections. It's incredible. Really, just start off.

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Speaker 1: I've reprinted the script. Okay, I'm that is hot. You

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Speaker 1: need to let people know about that, will um. And

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Speaker 1: you know it's sort of my show. Um, I mean

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Speaker 1: it's your show, but it's okay. Can my characters. Can

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Speaker 1: I say the word real cheese right now? I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say gwilled cheese anymore. It's demeaning. It makes

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Speaker 1: you feel weird. I don't like it. I don't have

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Speaker 1: a speech impediment with other words this one. When you

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Speaker 1: say gwilled cheese, our ratings go up in that moment.

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Speaker 1: We Yeah, you have me saying it a lot, so

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Speaker 1: I figured it had something to do with ratings. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I want to do drama. The hell

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Speaker 1: you say we started with your future and adult films.

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Speaker 1: After we're done reading through this scripture, it starts interior

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Speaker 1: interior day. What what interior? It's the only house that

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Speaker 1: we start on avery episode. It's interior day at the house.

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Speaker 1: Can you put off with the house? I mean we

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start reading. Don't

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Speaker 1: read my lines. I'm not gonna read your lines. The

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Speaker 1: first line of the of the the act, all right?

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Speaker 1: I noticed. Yeah, I guess I'm hot. Give me some water.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt. I'm gonna throw this out there, Jo.

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Speaker 1: How married to the house are we? Because Disneyland, we've

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Speaker 1: been wanting to do a tie in with them for

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Speaker 1: a while. They're about to open the Star Wars land.

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Speaker 1: You know, Star Wars very big right now, very hot? Um,

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Speaker 1: if there were Ewoks or Jawa's, I'm not sure. I

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Speaker 1: don't know the whole you know. Can I just point

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Speaker 1: us back to season nine where you tried the Knotsbury

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Speaker 1: Farm tie in and it was a disaster. I think

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Speaker 1: we have to stay in the house if we're doing

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Speaker 1: this but the Star Wars might be able to make

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Speaker 1: me normal size again. That's right, because there are there

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Speaker 1: are like smaller creatures within the so I think I

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Speaker 1: think it's justified. I just feel like, eleven years at

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Speaker 1: this house, we've grown up together here, and like stated,

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Speaker 1: the Knotsbury Farm episode was atrocious. People thought it was

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Speaker 1: a joke. I thought, maybe somebody's doing a parody spin

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Speaker 1: off of our show. Wow, Craig, I'm sorry that they're

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Speaker 1: talking to you this way. I love the idea and like,

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Speaker 1: I'll do whatever you want may to do. Frankly, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean the entire series has

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Speaker 1: taken place in a Midwest town. I don't. I mean, Okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: I just want to put out there. I have deferred

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Speaker 1: from Juilliard four times. That's as many as I'm allowed

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Speaker 1: to do. All Right, here's what we're gonna do. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how kind of works. We're gonna work the script afterwards.

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Speaker 1: We're just gonna restart it from the top. I won't

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Speaker 1: interrupt anymore. Disneyland okay, yes, Disneyland, go to the same lines.

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Speaker 1: We'll figure the rest out and post Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: switch up my first line again because to make a

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Speaker 1: Disney orientedature. Yeah, it's hot at the teacups, I'll take

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Speaker 1: some water. Sorry, all I brought was willed cheese. I'm

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Speaker 1: getting your crumbs down here, little guy. We didn't even

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Speaker 1: have to pay full price for him. I'm sorry. I

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Speaker 1: can't do this anymore. Guys, do this anymore? I quit you.

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Speaker 1: You three have ruined my life. I was an artist.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do theater. Why did you write this? Then?

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Speaker 1: I was only writing for ratings? And then this asshole

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Speaker 1: Kim here you you. Oh, the script is hot and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna eat every least the drama teacher Vanessa and

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Speaker 1: several students who went on to star in the hell

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Speaker 1: you say? I have gathered for tryout of this new

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Speaker 1: David Man play, calling all thesbians present asbians do it

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Speaker 1: on the stage, big day. I'm sure we've all got

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Speaker 1: the jitters that shake it out. Check it out, check

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Speaker 1: it out. Remember, leave your baggage at the door. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a safe space. We're gonna try some really

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Speaker 1: exciting stuff today. I want us to be supported. I

399
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Speaker 1: want us to be ground. Okay, I want this Class

400
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Speaker 1: two matters so much to you that you go home

401
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Speaker 1: and you write the principle a letter demanding that I'd

402
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Speaker 1: be recognized in a more thorough away by the school

403
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Speaker 1: board and that my role is expanded, just as you

404
00:25:55,359 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: were expanding in your own role. You we're gonna work

405
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: on that. The lips, the teeth, the tip of the

406
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: to the lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue. Okay,

407
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 1: starry people, the lips, teeth, the tip of the you

408
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: don't have to do this, I matt um. Hey, Blake,

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Speaker 1: have you heard of this thing called Instagram? Okay, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna start our auditions. I would like to comind you

411
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Speaker 1: of the process. Each of you is going to present

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Speaker 1: something you've chosen yourself, but you're going to do it

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Speaker 1: curveball in the style of one David Mamette. But Juliana,

414
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: I've prepared the stage manager role from Thornton Wilder's Our Town.

415
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: I'll make an exception, okay, and I'm doing Mike from

416
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: Bogosians Suburbia. Wow. Well, who's up first? I think Blake.

417
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be doing uh Gary Oldman from the Fifth Element.

418
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: Let's all give him our support. We support you, Blake support,

419
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 1: We support you, Blake clapping. Man enough, let him go,

420
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: let him start the manual. Zorg thank you Wow, short monologue.

421
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 1: I've got ten pages, had economy of language, well played

422
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: like it's going to be a hard one to top,

423
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 1: hard one to top? Is this a competition? I don't

424
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: know what you said. Thank you? Up next, this place

425
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: is called Grover's Corners. Let's all support Damon. Sorry, it's okay,

426
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: it's okay, we support you, Damon. This place is called

427
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 1: Grover's Corners. And over there, well that's Doc gives his house. Oh,

428
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: here comes how we knew some deliver in the morning paper.

429
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: I don't know how to make it more man. Yeah,

430
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: I was going to cut you off. I'm glad you

431
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: cut yourself. I didn't see how it did anyone see Howie?

432
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: Well he's not in the scene. I'm just referring to him. Well,

433
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: I didn't see him. Do you see what I'm saying.

434
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You know we talked about pelvis.

435
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: Do you feel that I have a lot of fat there? Oh?

436
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: Stop it. You're gonna grow out of that. You're gonna

437
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: shoot up like a string bed in one of these days.

438
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: Well you're big, but you could be big and tall someday. Okay,

439
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: So Desmond, no part for you, okay, what We're not

440
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: going to give you a part in this one. It's okay.

441
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: You're gonna go outside, go over and calm down. You're

442
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: gonna calm down. Sit down between the drama teacher and

443
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: Desmond's parents, we've been gathered, talk about the incident. You

444
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: can sit on the pillows, it's fun. I prefer to

445
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: stay on, just sit. I prefer to stand. I'm a

446
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: meat man, That's what I do. I want to starry

447
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: up by saying, we fully respect you in your process.

448
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: Thank you if you echo that sentiment to the principle.

449
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: And no, but you put hands on our son, you correct,

450
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: and that seems to cross I have crossed the line.

451
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I have a question or either of you artists.

452
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: I make cakes at home. That's not our mm hmm, sir.

453
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: I'm a meat man. Okay. Now I can understand being

454
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,479
Speaker 1: startled someone put hands on your children. Okay, but I

455
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: am an artist. Drop this theater talk. No, our fat

456
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: boy is sad. You made our fat boys sad, and

457
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: when he comes home someone you don't want to. I

458
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: made your fat boy vulnerable for the first time in

459
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: his life. He's fat, he's already vulnerable. I made him weep.

460
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: Do you understand that? Be you haven't cried in a

461
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: very long time. All my salts and my meat, I

462
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: don't push it up my eyes. I don't see the meat.

463
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: Where's the meat. It's in my car cooking, put it

464
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 1: on the dash. Maybe your eyes are watering it. You

465
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: always want to be a meat man, So with a fat,

466
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: fat little boy, I always want to be a meat man.

467
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: Is that right? There's nothing else inside of you. You're

468
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: putting hands on my husband? Get back, Get back now,

469
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: my fair cousins. If we are marked to die, we

470
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: are enough to do our country loss, or to take

471
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: a few more sessions to get it right. But we

472
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: got it started. What the fuck? That was incredible? And

473
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: now back to the auditions, as another student steps up

474
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: with his own version of a scene style of man squeaming.

475
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: I'm just this one's from War of the Rings and

476
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: it's kind of a it was in the director's Let

477
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: me just we all support I'm all right and in

478
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: this listen. So there's the spell that will bring us

479
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: all back to Morador. And you can trust me. I

480
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: am a wizard and all the little hobbits can follow along.

481
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: Thank you for you're welcome. Okay, I'm not um, I'm

482
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: not even gonna talk us through that one. But that

483
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: was what we call what's it when you give someone

484
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: a free chance? Um? It was a mulligan. Ah, so

485
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: my getting a second chance to do another another queening. No,

486
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: you're not going to be in the show. Pardon me?

487
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: I thought the mulligan is I don't I don't really know.

488
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: I thought it's what people said when they did something

489
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: just for the hell of it. But it doesn't mean anything.

490
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: You make people on comfortable when they look at you,

491
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: and there's people on stage need to make people feel safe.

492
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: There's gotta be a role for some that makes people

493
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. Julianna, how many roles are available in this play?

494
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: Because if you're not casting me and screaming, then raised

495
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: a good point. I may have to, Unfortunately, though I

496
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: dread it, step in to the production myself again. Again,

497
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 1: this is not what I wanted to do. That's not

498
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: how I wanted it to go. But you know what

499
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: I'm working with. May now take you backstage after the

500
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: first performance that the drama teacher in fact, did participate

501
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: in Oh my God. Enters David Mammon, who happened to

502
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: be in the audience to see his play performed by

503
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: this high Great job, Julianna, Job, Julianna, I hope that

504
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: curtain pool was Okay, it's great. Had fun up there.

505
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me? Yes, I don't know if you

506
00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: know who I am. I have two guesses. Okay, are

507
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 1: you from the newspaper? Not from the newspaper? That was

508
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: actually my only guest. I'm Julianna, screamings dad. Oh, he's

509
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: Scleaming's father. Who is squeaming? What can my name? Is

510
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: it to me? I've been working back here in tech.

511
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: That's not my father. Back in the box, I'm David

512
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: me oh, sir. When I heard that a high school

513
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: was putting out a production of my new play, which

514
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: has not yet been produced, I was I found a draft,

515
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,959
Speaker 1: and I took a liberty. How did you find a draft?

516
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: Needless to say, I was curious? Trash trash. I sometimes

517
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: late at night, I I take walks and I don't

518
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: know where they'll lead me, but they often lead me

519
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: to the dumpster. One particular evening, I found a draft.

520
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: I saw your name, hi, okay, and I brought it

521
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: to the school. I don't know what you what's your

522
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: life is about? For me? No one ever notices me,

523
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: no one ever gives me my worst. And I thought

524
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: maybe if I could put this up, if I could

525
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: pull this off, maybe my luck would chain. What did

526
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: you think, Dave? Okay? I thought I thought you were magnetic.

527
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,959
Speaker 1: To be honest, to see two fifteen year old boys

528
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: in one point taken, I need to moist rozz. There

529
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: was no acting up there. It was just real, uncomfortably real.

530
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. This is the only way I

531
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: want my productions done from now on. Oh my god,

532
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, okay, what does that mean for me?

533
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: I need to know what that means for me? What

534
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: that means? You're you gonna stay right here at this

535
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: high Creak're stay right? No, No, you're doing good work here,

536
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 1: You're doing good work here. During intermission, I wrote up

537
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: another play. If you could just talk to the principle

538
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: and let him know. I don't want to get involved,

539
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to look thick. Yeah, I'm very very prolific,

540
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: very fast. Right. There's also a lot of pauses and

541
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: a lot of really short lives. I'm sorry to interrupted.

542
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: I saw you make your way back here again. Mr mammon,

543
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: I'm a meat man and uh I have found the

544
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 1: joy of acting again. You're in the play just the

545
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: way that the way they that interaction we just had

546
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 1: that it was so real. Do you think we could

547
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: go to Broadway? Screaming? Screaming? I just wanted to say

548
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: that I thought you did a really good job today.

549
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 1: And if you don't have a date to um the dance,

550
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: maybe you'd want to go with me. I mean absolutely,

551
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to go to the dance. It would

552
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: be great. Here's the thing, like, I really I don't okay,

553
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: alright going no, wait wait come here, come get that

554
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: kid out of my sight. Wait, Mr mamt make doesn't

555
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: he get wait? Wait wait wait get out of here?

556
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 1: Wait all right, I'll go then, thank you. It's just

557
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: that I always make people get out. We're not going, okay,

558
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: good decision, Thank you, Mr Moment, ma'am please she pronounces

559
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 1: it moment. Do you then we'll go with that? Thank you, David.

560
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: Mr Mahmatt, do you have a date to the dance

561
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 1: this year? This year? I don't. Do you think maybe

562
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 1: you'd want to go with twelve year old girl who's

563
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:05,439
Speaker 1: really into poetry and really into school. Oh I don't

564
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: see why not. I hate to interject I should the

565
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: reasons why not. First of all, I'm not I don't

566
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,959
Speaker 1: go to this high school. I'm still in middle school okay,

567
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 1: but if it's okay with the teacher, yeah, I could

568
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: come to. It's also not how this works. Come on, Julian,

569
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: it's for the arts. You make a good point. Art's

570
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: funny like that. You never know what's coming your way,

571
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: what's going to be your ship, and what's going to

572
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: be your anchor. I hope I look like you when

573
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 1: i'm your age. Do I smell a brisket cooking on

574
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: the hood of the car? I got a whole bunch

575
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: out there, got a shore rim in the trunk. I'd

576
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 1: love the brisket, all right, lay and cut yes, Lee

577
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: very late, scream and we see you. I was just

578
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: I gotta wrap up the courts when we're gone, okay,

579
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: and we're gloves for courts. I'm sorry conversing back here,

580
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 1: but the audience is even for you. They want more,

581
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: they want it Encore. Oh should I wing it. Do it?

582
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: Do it? Do my new play? Now it's four hours long?

583
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: Do it? Is it? Encore? Oh? I want to throw

584
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: want a thrill? Cats walking again? So early reading something

585
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: and yet so late. My shop won't open for three

586
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 1: hours yet and here I am show. Don't tell me?

587
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: What do you do? When does our kid get pacing? Pacing? Pacing?

588
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: This is an early draft if only I was paid

589
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: by the step instead of the case. But like Google,

590
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: mhm cakes when my mother's trade my brother sport he

591
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 1: had a darker situation. So I went with cakes, cakes

592
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 1: with the alternative to two pasting pasting pacing three hours

593
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: un till the shop opens. Mrs Worsan speed the plot alright,

594
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: first of the last break, let's go. I know I'm

595
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: gonna love against sup Here juice books, squeaming. He ended

596
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 1: up as a cast member at Disneyland. We now take

597
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: you to Disneyland backstage. It's the Christmas Holidays. President are

598
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: cast members, the famous Disney characters, of course, and a

599
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: few of their handlers, as well as a couple of

600
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: cart workers, attraction attendance and a repair person. Leave the

601
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: heads over there, you got a hand I brought gifts

602
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 1: who's got a cigarette? You can't smoke in here. I'm

603
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 1: sure you gotta put that outroom. Are we doing the

604
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: gift exchange? Or what was that a prank email? Gosh

605
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: there here with us, man, let it go, turn it

606
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,879
Speaker 1: off and leave the characters outside. I'm gonna clear your own.

607
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, with that sitcom shooting here, it's so

608
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 1: busy today. Yeah, hell you stay super popular. Yeah, I

609
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: love it. They're eleven seasons turkey. Can you imagine that

610
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:03,240
Speaker 1: kind of money? I brought everyone a gift as the email.

611
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: I am starting to realize it was another elaborate prank.

612
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna give you the gifts anyway. We'll get

613
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: you one nick year. You know, okay, I believe you.

614
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: I've spent the limit, which was seventy a person get

615
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: to give the gifts, screaming this is for you for

616
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: obvious reasons. Oh thank you. Another mirror. It's a mirror.

617
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:36,919
Speaker 1: It is it's it's uh, it's it's like a small circumspira.

618
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: It makes me look fat. It makes me look fator.

619
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 1: That's great. I don't merry Christmas. That's what you look

620
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: like if you were fat. Thanks, that's great, keep you,

621
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: humble shark. Give the gifts out. Ah, here's yours, don't

622
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: shake it. It's a great thank you, seventy worth of

623
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: him a laying the sea salt. That's a lot of

624
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: sea songs. You said you like to sell, so darn thanks, Chuck.

625
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: It's problem. You don't have to do that with me.

626
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: Just be yourself. It's a seventy dollars. The fuck it,

627
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:37,760
Speaker 1: he's practical. Thanks all right, guys, free balloons. These didn't sell,

628
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: so take them. Well they're hot, dudes. Take the balloons. No, no,

629
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 1: but we get the kid these because we didn't sell them.

630
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: You didn't sell them. We don't need them. There's no

631
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: reason for me that I don't want any balloons. It's

632
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: a balloons. They have a mickey in the balloon. We

633
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 1: can't smoke back here, guys, free balloons if you if

634
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 1: you can't sell those balloons, I mean, I don't know

635
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: what to say. Hunter. That reflects poorly on you and

636
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: the House of mouths. Wait, am I supposed to be

637
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: pushing these specifically? Yes, at your job, Hunter, but I

638
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: thought it was just supposed to stand there and they're

639
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: gonna come up to me run through It is Hey kid,

640
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 1: how much of balloons you want one? What's going on?

641
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 1: What's going on? I asked the question, how much of

642
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:29,160
Speaker 1: the ball you want one? First you compliment, then you quote,

643
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: and then you see you Okay, let me try that again.

644
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: Hey kid, how much of balloons? You're nice? Twelve? I'm

645
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: not twelve? Now that was you. Gotta be very clear,

646
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: it's only and then you see? Will you do one

647
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,399
Speaker 1: for me? Sure? Give me the balloons? Okay, hey kid?

648
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: How much? Hello? Beautiful? Look at your eyes? Well you're

649
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: the luckiest person. That's some guy in the sky. But

650
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 1: those in your skull compliment, ain't you sweet? There's their

651
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: seen fifty and they'll take that. And that's what we

652
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 1: go see c Q c Q s to remember, Hey kid,

653
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 1: how much your balloon mine? What the what compliment? I

654
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 1: was gonna compliment? You said, I want to sell popcorn?

655
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: Is that what you want? You want to go to

656
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,879
Speaker 1: the popcorn card? No, that's what's happening. That's your future. No,

657
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: I don't. Nobody ever leaves a popcorn card. Nobody comes

658
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 1: back from corn. Look. The reason why I even got

659
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: the balloon gig because my uncle was a Golden Cast member.

660
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: That's right, and so um, I got to you know,

661
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: go to this gig. It's cushy, it's nice. I like it.

662
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,959
Speaker 1: I'll do better. Okay, it's not cushy. If you're doing

663
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 1: it right, maybe maybe you'd be as good as a

664
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 1: cash member putting a costume. More of them big heads,

665
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: you know, like goofy over there. Well, let's let's try

666
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: what's that weirdo from the monster cartoon, the big gay

667
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: for that's right, that's right. Mustard Inc. Was the name

668
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: of the thing. And that's it. That's the one, all right.

669
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: So let's say you that guy and you walk around.

670
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,399
Speaker 1: You don't have to speak, you don't have to sell.

671
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: You just walk around in a big fur outfit. How

672
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 1: would you do that? Um? Like, I'd go, umm, you

673
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: don't know when you don't talk when you're in there. No,

674
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm gonna not talk right now. Okay,

675
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,240
Speaker 1: So let's see you walk around in the outfit. Okay,

676
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 1: you're dancing? Why are you dancing? He wouldn't move like that?

677
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: That a character was he and he was very heavy

678
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 1: and Peter School I was talked to not walk. But

679
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: he's not a tree. What's he doing? He's a big.

680
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: My uncle was a golden cast member and he died

681
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 1: and you inherit it is. He was Donald for fifty years.

682
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: He walked around It was a good man and a

683
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,919
Speaker 1: great lover. Want to do Donald? Is that what you're saying? Yeah?

684
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 1: I wanted to he could never do. Yes, I can.

685
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: It's in my blood. You gave me one shot. One shot.

686
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,760
Speaker 1: Where's that out screaming in the world. In the real world,

687
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: you're gonna get yourself and you've just earned yourself one mulligan. Okay,

688
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 1: go for it. Take a mulligan right now, buddy. Does

689
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 1: that mean I go? I go again? In theater? Mulligan

690
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: means you got one shot. I went to theater high schools, right.

691
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: Everybody knows that. Give us your best, okay, everybody, and

692
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: I present to you Donald talk. Remember you don't wait,

693
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 1: you don't Yeah, the cast members, they don't talk. It's

694
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: walking around the I'll just talk back. Stay used to

695
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: get into character, and then I worship. Is the only

696
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: reason why even put up with that crap, because they

697
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 1: don't have him talk about that Donald. My uncle never spoke,

698
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: not unless he was making love here in the break room.

699
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: He talked his head off couldn't shut him up, but

700
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 1: he would regale us with stories about monologues. He do

701
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 1: impromptu monologue in the park, play recording last thing he

702
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 1: said to us back here, ready, here we go? Killed

703
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 1: me every Yeah, I can do that. Oh cool? What

704
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: the let's say? That's disrespect? You know what popcorn duty?

705
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: You don't have that authority. No, I do not, No,

706
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:30,800
Speaker 1: I do not not. The corn card. You know, where's

707
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: a rare thing here at the park. If enough of

708
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: us get together, we can pop corn a regular guy.

709
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 1: You can only do it twice in our tenure here,

710
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 1: and we've done it once before. I think we're getting

711
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: ready to corn card, you buddy. Okay, listen. I think

712
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 1: we got off on the wrong foot. I didn't sell

713
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: the balloons. I didn't do a good job as the monster.

714
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: I failed as Donald. Yep, but it's in my blood.

715
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 1: I tell you. You've got three Mulligan's already. You know,

716
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: maybe you could do the drawings. You know that people

717
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 1: walk all right, draw any one of us? I did well,

718
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: I'll try. You just exaggerate one feature. You know, if

719
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 1: my ears are a little big, make them really big. Okay,

720
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 1: that's the secret. As Oh my god, oh jenals pianist like,

721
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: we can't see that. I could see the outline of

722
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 1: his Oh my god, I do have a slightly big

723
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: How do you know? It's like a tripod. I could

724
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: see it. You know what? You know? What? What? What?

725
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: What is your kid? Maybe I'll go to nuts Verry

726
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: far Okay, I don't know. Six Flags, Magic Mountain, failing, failing.

727
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: Huh what would you to get that? You're effect us

728
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 1: at all? I disagree because when I'm the best snoopy

729
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: that park has ever seen, or the best Batman that

730
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: park has ever seen, I'm gonna get all the glory

731
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna come back here one day and I'm

732
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 1: gonna show you all. I'm gonna show you all. I'm

733
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,879
Speaker 1: take it out a Knutsbury Farm, where he's in fact,

734
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 1: dressed as Batman addressing the troops backstage at Knutsbury Farm. Okay,

735
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 1: I am the man behind the bat I don't know

736
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: how you got that outfit and what you're doing back here,

737
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: but we don't have the rights to have you back

738
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: on our park. No, you do not. You and the

739
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,879
Speaker 1: Man of the Black Night give me that hat ah

740
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: and the wizard who flies about the sky, the character

741
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 1: is not a wizard security over here like we can. Sorry,

742
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: that's me, I forgot get him out of here. I'm

743
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 1: gonna cough. You touch me. I'm the man whose masks

744
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: is the ears of the night. I'm the one who flies.

745
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 1: This might not be a custom. I am the man

746
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 1: the text and the tests. I am the bat. Yeah,

747
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: it really doesn't sound like no no, no, no no,

748
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: like a whisper ever. No, that's good. That's bad Ron

749
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 1: doing that. I don't know. I just sell jelly for

750
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: a limit. You found a new thing it again, Ron,

751
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 1: I am the bad. I am the bad. Say I

752
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 1: love you, Tina, you dirty little freak. I love you, Tina.

753
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 1: You do it A little freak, A little freak. That

754
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: doesn't work. No, I hear it now. Yeah, I don't

755
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 1: want to be the voice of reason. But we're not

756
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: Sperry Farm. You're not allowed to wear that in the park.

757
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: You can't tell the man behind the bat who he is.

758
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: Well as you'll all see when I go to the

759
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: state farm and I make a big splash, all right,

760
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,800
Speaker 1: I mean the county far, the county farm. Can we

761
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: county purity? Can we get this crazy? Please take that

762
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,280
Speaker 1: costume off? Of it before we take now the corporate

763
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: retreated State Farm Insurance. All right, everyone, just give a

764
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: round of applause. I was really good on the log hurdling,

765
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: very very good. Thanks guys. Did somebody call for it?

766
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:27,879
Speaker 1: So don't mind the blood coming from my mouth. It's

767
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: my own, my tongue as I jumped off the state.

768
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: Let go, let my daughter go. This much blood since

769
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 1: my last Easter dinner. What's your name, little girl? Alicia? Okay, Alicia?

770
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: Can you tell his nice people that you were being

771
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: held by the man who's the bad That's right, everybody,

772
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: I am here to protest, what to protect. He doesn't

773
00:51:54,080 --> 00:52:00,800
Speaker 1: sound like batman at all. Let her go. Let be

774
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: very very sad when you find out that I'm doing great,

775
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: great things. Listen to me, son of a batch, do

776
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 1: listen to me right now. That's my daughter that's in

777
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 1: your hands. That a stick, Oregon, that's both. I put

778
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 1: a stick inside the barrel of this gun. I don't

779
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 1: know what's gonna happen when I pull that. I'm the

780
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 1: man who's the bats Oh are you? Yeah? Well, I'm

781
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 1: a man who's her dad. Alicia, Close your eyes in

782
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: your ear, close your eyes, don't let you listen to me.

783
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: Listen to me, baby, listen to me right now. You

784
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 1: calling me baby? Tuck your knees into your chest. Good, good,

785
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,240
Speaker 1: good good. Listen to me right now, my little baby,

786
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: little baby. I don't say a word that's gonna buy you.

787
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: I'm the man who's the bad According to my actuarial tables,

788
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: this is a very dangerous situation. Listen to me. How

789
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: good your aim? How good is your rains? I'm moving

790
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 1: her front of my hands up, I'm moving her. I'm

791
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: not good at amy, and I'm not thinking catch take

792
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: her back out. I don't want to leave her. I

793
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: told you all that man can fly. Holy shit, craziest thing, Alicia?

794
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 1: You okay, Dad? You just threw me at a batman

795
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 1: two times? Well, Alicia, it was in the moment. Did

796
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:26,640
Speaker 1: you want me to shoot the stick? What happened? Who's back?

797
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: One quick question before I leave you already did? Can

798
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: we ask one too? A rope? Never mind? Never mind?

799
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 1: Go with your question? Who is the man who flies

800
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: behind the darkness shaft? Yeah? Certainly not the guy that

801
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 1: came in on the rope? Who is the man this one?

802
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 1: Shift asked two questions? You asked two questions. Just on

803
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 1: your rope and get out of here. One last question.

804
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 1: Yes you're ready again you see will just high coup.

805
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:26,840
Speaker 1: This has been another episode of Alchemy. This right to

806
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,919
Speaker 1: us at your name here at Alchemy this dot com.

807
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 1: That's your name here at Alchemy this dot com. Send

808
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 1: your suggested scenes, scenarios, themes if you will, and the

809
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 1: Alchemists will make the magic as always, go around the

810
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: table to wrap things up. Craig working folks, catch you

811
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 1: at kask on Twitter, at Craigslist peacast for my podcast

812
00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: Craigslist Craigslist Joey jeby Grieber on Instagram. It's pretty much

813
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 1: all the always spelling that big boy j e b

814
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: b y g r e b b e R. I

815
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 1: don't think that's right. I don't think it was either think.

816
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: But that's the name of the theater players, Dynasty Typewriter

817
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: and the website Dynasty typewriter dot com. That's where the

818
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: calendar is. You see all the events, that's right. My

819
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: Twitter is just Vanessa Ragland correct the real James Heeney

820
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: on YouTube on the tube as the kids calling Chris

821
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 1: bring us home. If you can't get enough of pictures

822
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 1: of improv scenes on Instagram check out at Chris Operardo.

823
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:43,359
Speaker 1: Will you'll see me on stage a bunch Yes, Thanks

824
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 1: again as always to our man with the plan and

825
00:55:47,520 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: the sounds of magic, Raphael Brick. Not even close, but

826
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: I do have at the side project dot com. Go there,

827
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 1: look it up side project, the side to side at

828
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:17,320
Speaker 1: the side project, not the side project right d side project?

829
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:27,600
Speaker 1: Who knows it? Our engineer with the year until next time.

830
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 1: This has been alchemy then