1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Today if fed up by accidentally finding out that my 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: mom is gay. 3 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 2: Okayop, this is okay Ope. 4 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: I'm samuel O Bonner and I'm h and we tell 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: the funniest stories on the Internet. 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: And John, I got another crazy one for you. It 7 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 2: has to do with family. Oh, that's so weird. Secret, 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 2: it's gonna be so sweet. 9 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: Nope, never sweet, never sweet, always crazy. So this happened 10 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: about nine years ago when I, twenty three female, was 11 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: in ninth grade. Like most other fourteen year olds, I 12 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 1: had been looking forward to take your kid to Work 13 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: day since I started high school, and the day had 14 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: finally come. I went with my mother to her office job, 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: expecting the day of fun and excitement. Yeah, the office 16 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: wonderland of childhood dreams, papers and faxes, saples and middle 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: management meetings. 18 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, what a thrill depression. 19 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: Was expecting a day of excitement, and was deeply disappointed 20 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: to find out that office jobs are not particularly thrilling. 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 2: Shock her shocking. 22 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 1: At around noon, my mom briefly left her desk to 23 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: grab us some food. So, like any other fourteen year 24 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: old girl who's feeling pretty cute in her new outfit, 25 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: you know. 26 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 2: Looking good, looking good like a snack. 27 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: But I don't know if I can say that because 28 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: she's fourteen, that's true, looking looking like a snack to herself, 29 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: a self snack, snack that you pack with yourself to school, 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: lunchble lunchable, looking like a lunch of all. I swiped 31 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: her cell phone off her desk to take some cute selfies. 32 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 2: I had a flip. 33 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: Phone and she had an iPhone for work, so the 34 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: quality was significantly better on the iPhone for sure. Right 35 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: as I was about to start snapping some fix, I 36 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: noticed something odd about the thumbnail pick in the bottom 37 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: of the screen of her latest image. I opened the 38 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: image and lo and behold. It is the most comfortably posed, 39 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: low angle, tilted up picture of a middle age milk 40 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:21,399 Speaker 1: cuban milk utter, milky milky jugs, milky jugs, milk jug, milkhugs, milkjugs. 41 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 2: There we go, hean cu. 42 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: It is the most uncomfortably posed, low angle, tilted up 43 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: picture of a middle aged milk. 44 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: Juge like those milk like those milk jugs. Oh my god. 45 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: The point of the milk jug was aggressively pointed at 46 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: the camera, and from that angle all I could see 47 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: was the milk jug the double chin and a face. 48 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 2: Oh dear, this is the really awkward description. 49 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: It sounds like a weird discovery and even a weirder picture. 50 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: I immediately see that this isn't just any milk jug. 51 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: This is a milk jug that is attached to my 52 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: mother her best friend. 53 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god. 54 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:09,639 Speaker 1: And to give some background, my family was raised extremely Christian, 55 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: the kind where gay is not okay. Sorry, I've long 56 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: since abandoned that religion. And so this best friend of 57 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: hers was a fairly new friend who wasn't religious, so 58 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: I'd always been wary of. 59 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: Her and her hats morals. 60 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: And then I instantly connected the dots. My mom is gay, 61 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: lying about it, and in a secret relationship with her 62 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: so called best friend who spends every week with her. 63 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: You know, you know what they're getting up to one 64 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 2: those weekends, do dougs, baby. 65 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: I experienced a full blown identity crisis in about fifteen seconds. 66 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: For a little Christian kid like myself, this felt like 67 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: the end of the dar world. Not only did I 68 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: have my world explode and put it to back together 69 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: before my mom returned about two minutes. 70 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: Oh my god, can you imagine? Imagine? You're just sitting 71 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 2: there with like, your whole life perception of everything is 72 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 2: blown up, and your mom just comes back like nothing, Like, hey. 73 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: Her reality is shattered into a million rainbow pieces right now. 74 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 1: But I then have to spend the rest of the 75 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 1: entire day pretending to pay attention to the menial office 76 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: task a foot away from my very rainbow mom. At 77 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: the end of the day, I kept my mom's secret 78 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: from her and the rest of the family until she 79 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: finally came out of the closet two years later. 80 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 2: Three years later, one eatality lay down. 81 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: A year or two ago, I told my mom this story, 82 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: much to her humiliation, and we just about died laughing 83 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: together about it. Her and her partner have now been 84 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 1: happily married for eleven years. 85 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 2: WHOA, what a sweet turnaround of this story. 86 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: I'm eternally grateful for my mom's part in making me 87 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: realize that the religion I was part of was awful 88 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: and intolerant. So I learned a valuable lesson about snooping 89 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: around on my mom's phone. And I sure can't complain 90 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: that I had a boring day at my mom's office. 91 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, she can't say it was a boring office. 92 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: It's not a boring office day, My friend, I love, 93 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: I love, I love the wholesome turn. I love it, 94 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: the wholesome turn. We're happy we hit so little of 95 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: them here on the show. It's nice to it's nice 96 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: to have our spirits lifted. Just in time for Christ, 97 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: just in time, just in time. Santa is coming with 98 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: his big sex. We get some mom hose, discovery, spirit, beautiful, beautiful. 99 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 2: Hey, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. 100 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: And if you're listening to the podcast, folks, we'll see you. 101 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 2: Sam