WEBVTT - “Fatherhood” 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:06.640 We're gonna start with little toast. 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:10.320 Ah, what's the toast to today? 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:15.040 I like to toast the fatherhood because we are both fathers. 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:15.560 That's right. 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:20.079 I am Wilmer Valderama, I'm Freddie Rodrigan. Welcome through those egos. 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.639 Yes, your podcast from us to you. We're happy to 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.440 be uh back here at the speakeasy. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.320 Yes, and uh, you know, like two puppies we are 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:30.920 drinking what. 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:42.400 By the way, Wilmer made his coffee. He has a 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:46.320 pretty sophistic as as as the speakeasy. He's pretty sophisticated. 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:49.199 You got to see his coffee system upstairs, you know, 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:50.600 equally as sophistication. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.680 I think I started overdoing it when I when I 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.520 I asked my mom, like I was talking to my 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:57.840 mom about her life and blah blah blah. And remember 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.040 I told you guys a couple of episodes ago, I 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:03.440 talked about like my grandfather was a coffee a coffee roaster, 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:05.600 coffee cultivator, coffee farmer. 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.120 And I was like, whoa, it's in my blood. So 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:10.920 like I trippled down on the coffee and. 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:12.280 Every day it was like, oh, but it's like me, 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.840 It's like I'm a dolphin right, I can swim underwater. 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.360 Like it's like I should drink a lot of coffee. Yeah, 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:19.360 so easy on. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.440 The dark roaster with there everyone, because yeah, it could 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:23.480 definitely give you some anxiety, like having. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:25.200 Like a like a like a really dark cigar. 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:27.440 You don't know what you're getting into until like three 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.840 puffs in and you're like, what's happening And I'm like 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:30.440 really drunk? 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:30.760 You know? 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:33.000 And have you always been in the coffee? 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:35.640 I yes, I guess I was. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.600 I was a very younger age, but I never you 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.800 know what it is. I drank his ceremonially. I never 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:43.679 drink it because I was like, oh, I'm low energy. 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:46.880 I needed and I think I got so accustomed to 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:48.920 it now that I feel like, oh, man, like I 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.360 really need a coffee when I'm gonna work. 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:52.360 As soon as like two pm hits me. 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.280 Yeah, I eat a coffee. You know, Like how many 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:56.000 do you have a day? 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:00.600 Let's see. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.280 The three three three? 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:05.560 Even when you're not working. 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:06.000 Three. 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:10.240 No, when I'm not working, I forget it completely. Yes, 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:13.000 but it's I think I'm on set and I walk 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.880 by it and I'm like a little warm coffee or 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.480 something will be kind of nice and comforting while you're 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:19.760 in between scenes or whatever. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:20.000 You know. 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:24.919 But he speaking of comforting fatherhood. Fatherhood is comforting. You 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:33.440 is someone you is someone that I really respect and admire. 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:37.679 You've said some really beautiful, wonderful things about fatherhood to me, 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.280 especially at the beginning, you know, when thea Kanda was 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:44.480 so young, and we reconnect on those things, and you know, 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.800 we would have dinner and we talk about fatherhood and 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:48.160 you have had quite. 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:48.760 A run at it. 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:53.200 Yeah, so I have more questions than answers in this podcast. 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:56.240 I for me, it's about like getting in the mind 0:02:56.320 --> 0:03:02.360 of racing strong, beautiful, thoughtful man, which your kids, you know, 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:07.079 happened to be, and also in partnership with your beautiful wife, 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:11.400 who is just another savage I concur you know, she's 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.720 one of the most incredible people ever. 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:14.320 Thank you. 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.440 So it's no surprise that your kids are that that 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:22.040 are awesome, you know. But when that tell me, do 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:26.280 you mind sharing with all of us the moment you 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.440 were like the moment you found out you were going 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:28.960 to be a father. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:29.720 Yeah. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:32.720 I was nineteen years old. I was living in Chicago, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:37.760 and I was going through this this sabbatical year where 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:41.600 I was done with high school, and I was expected 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.680 to go to college right after high school, and I didn't. 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:45.960 I convince my dad to let me have a year 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:48.200 to just sort of pound the pavement and see if 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:52.000 I could make something out of acting. And nothing was happening, 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:54.800 and I was going to go back to school, and 0:03:55.640 --> 0:04:00.520 three things happened in my life that were pivotal. One 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.240 was I got my first movie, so I had the 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.920 opportunity to go pro. The second thing was I was 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.240 going to get an offer to perform at the Goodman Theater, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:12.320 which was our Broadway and it was an opportunity and 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.720 a lifelong dream for me to achieve something. The third 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.680 thing that happened was my girlfriend at the time, who 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:22.520 was my wife now of almost thirty years, became pregnant. 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:26.040 So I had these three major things happened in my life. 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:28.800 And I was a kid. I was nineteen years old. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:35.200 I was still living at my parents' house, and I 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:39.400 had some decisions to make because you could imagine, but 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:43.600 I remember hurt telling me, and I don't know if 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:48.200 it was because of how I grew up. There was 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:51.040 never a question about whether we were going to keep 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.480 it or not. I was like, okay, so we're going 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.640 to do this, We're going to have it. I remember 0:04:55.680 --> 0:05:00.359 going to my parents and they weren't disappointed. I just 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.880 remember my father looking at me and in his own words, saying, well, 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:07.800 now now you've got to be responsible. M That's it. 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:09.279 It wasn't like, are you going to keep it? 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:09.760 Are you not? 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.560 Are you going to do this? Are you? He was 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.720 just like, now you're carrying on the family name, the 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:20.400 family legacy, and now you have to be responsible because 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.880 that's the thing that has been passed down from generation 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.120 to generation with him, our family. 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.760 What did you think he meant when you say, when 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:30.919 he said responsible, how did you translate that? 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:31.960 At nineteen? 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.800 I thought he meant responsible in the way that he 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:42.000 was responsible as it came to parenting myself and my brothers. 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.360 And so now was my turn. Now he was passing 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:50.359 the baton of responsibility to me, and I understood right away, 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.280 and I, you know, I just sort of took to 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.400 it right away. I wasn't. I don't know why. Maybe 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:04.200 it was naive, you know, iveta or ignorance. Ignorance is bliss, right. 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.640 I just said, all right, we're gonna do this, you know, 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:11.880 And I went off to go do my first two movies, 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.560 and I came back and Elsie gave birth to our 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:17.400 first child, Gean Carlo, and. 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:21.160 Three and a half years later with her family. At 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.000 the time, she was living with. 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.640 Her family too. Yeah, you know it wasn't planned, right, 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:29.159 That's how God works, right, sure that In many ways 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:31.880 it's interesting too. I'm sorry, no, no's what's that saying? 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.839 You make plans and God laughs. I think I'm saying, like, yes, 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:40.000 but it wasn't planned. It just happened, and we accepted 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:42.680 the responsibility. 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:48.640 It's so interesting too because you think about the word serendipity, right, yeah, 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:50.919 and you also think about what it meant in that 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:55.200 moment that you both were at home with capable parents, 0:06:55.480 --> 0:07:01.640 young enough parents to say, you know, we're gonna hold 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:02.880 you down here, you know what I mean. We're gonna 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:04.440 hold you down, you know what I mean, And like, 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:07.040 we're gonna we're gonna keep holding you up, you know, 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.720 and so so in many ways, the fact that she 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:14.760 was still with her family and you're still with your family, 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.520 you had this extended support. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.120 You know. Have you ever wondered what I FuG you 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:21.800 had to be on your own? No, I'm never really 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.280 sorry about it. You know, my family was always there. 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.320 My parents were always there. Her parents were actually in 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.640 Puerto Rico. She was living with her sister, which caused 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:41.960 uh because her parents no, no, no, Elsie was her sister, 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:45.440 her sister. Glad Soldier said, yeah, yeah, a couple of 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:48.120 years old, and she has an older so her sister 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:51.040 was responsible for her. She was living with her sister, 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.200 and then all of a sudden she was pregnant. 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.280 You know, like, what does your future husband do? 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:01.560 I haven't seen him in anything, I mean not yet, 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:03.440 Kentucky chick. 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:05.680 No. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:09.760 But here's the thing. My my, my, my cousin, my 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:16.360 first cousin, married Elsie, my wife's sister, and that's kind 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:19.880 of how we met. We met at the wedding about 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:23.520 four or five years prior to that, so they knew her. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:26.120 Her family knew my family, you know. So it's not 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.440 like I was some deadbeat off the street, like they 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.280 knew our family. So I think that was maybe some 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:35.080 of the cushion or the buffer for the news was like, Okay, well, 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:36.800 at least we know the guy. We know the guy, 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.320 we know his family. He comes from a responsible family. 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:43.800 So obviously the news was not well received. I don't 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:44.800 think anybody. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.640 Who I mean, at that point, you wonder kids who 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.240 a little bit more runway to do what they got 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:53.080 to do. But in retrospect, you were still using the 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.080 runway to build, you know, So it's not like it 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:56.840 derailed you. 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:58.160 Yeah, you know. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:00.760 It's like in so many ways, I feel like early 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:08.360 parenthood can really be kind of like, you know, a 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.839 challenge to kind of navigate as you're trying to get 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:14.280 to your next thing, or or as you're matured into adulthood. 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.840 You're trying to figure out what am I as an adult? 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:17.560 Right? 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.400 What does responsibility mean? Now? 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.080 They have a kid at this early age and I 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:24.120 got to start making money? 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:30.480 Yeah, yeah, And sometimes having a child derails people's plans, right, 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.400 because sometimes you need the freedom of life in order 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:39.080 to take chances at your dreams. And when you're only 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:43.000 responsible for yourself financially, which makes it a lot easier 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.559 for you to take those chances. All of a sudden, 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:47.600 I was responsible at nineteen years old for two other people, 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.880 you know. But I'll tell you, and I don't mean 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.800 to get spiritual here, man, but it was God's grace 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:57.640 man all the way, because like the timing of me 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:02.480 getting those movies when my wife became pregnant was like 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:05.080 it was a one in a million chants. You know. 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:09.160 If I wouldn't have landed those two movies because I 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:11.960 was having a child, I probably would have stayed in Chicago. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.040 Maybe I would have been doing theater. Maybe I would 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.520 have given up my dream completely. I mean, I don't know. 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.680 I had a responsibility before me that I had to 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:23.280 step up and and and provide for, you know. But 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.880 but it all happened at the same time, which led 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:29.360 me to believe that it was the big man's plan. 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:32.160 That's the way it was meant to be right, and 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.640 so you know. So then we had the child, who 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:38.200 got married and both came out to la at twenty 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:42.319 twenty one with a child, and it was probably why 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:46.079 I remember we had this conversation because we've known each 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:49.120 other so long and we're at dinner. I think the 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.960 time we went with Jay. We're talking about hanging out 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.160 in the early two thousands or the nineties, when we 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.959 were like, oh, you remember this place or this club 0:10:58.080 --> 0:10:58.920 or whatever, and. 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.439 You're like, no, no, remember it. 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:05.400 I don't know. I don't remember it because I was 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:08.000 at home, like playing with hot wheels on the floor. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:08.360 Yeah. 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.679 Wow, you guys are more primitively. Yeah, I'd like to 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:15.000 ask you a question because I know how it felt 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.440 like to me. No, no, you're right right, please no, No. 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:21.400 The question is is were you in town when she 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:21.960 get birth? 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:22.800 Yeah? 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:29.200 Yeah, So what happened the moment you held your child? 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:29.640 Oh? 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:30.160 Wow? 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:33.560 Like I always talk about it, like something uploads that's 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:35.960 been in there and it only triggers when you have 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.480 a kid, that you have something. There's another version of 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.640 inside of you that only on locks and engages and 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.000 uploads the moment you hold your child, Like, what what 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:47.320 was it? 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.560 What was that feeling? What woke up in you? Yeah? 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:52.000 I don't know about you, and I want to hear 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.040 this from you as well if this happened to you. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.720 But a few things happen. One is I felt a 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:01.679 love that I've never felt before. It's a different kind 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:06.200 of love. You ever watch nature videos. You ever see 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:07.440 sort of the wolf pack? 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.040 Yes? 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.320 Yeah, yes, and you see like the mama wolf with 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.559 her cubs and she sees someone approaching and in an 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:21.160 instant she's ready to die. She's ready to attack you 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:25.240 and die for those cubs. That natural instinct inside of 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:28.319 you all of a sudden wakes up and you look 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.480 at this child, and you're just like, I'm ready. I'm 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:31.400 I'm ready to. 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.280 Kill somebody for you, right, yeah. 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:34.640 Yeah. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:41.320 And so that natural animalistic instinct that think kicks in 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.080 for me, it did, and the same amount of love 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:50.600 kicked in. Uh. And and and the sort of maybe genetic, primitive, 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:54.679 sort of caveman instinct to go out and hunt and 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.640 bring back the meat to the cave kicks in. 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.959 Where are you going into the woods bring a buffalo home? 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:01.520 Yeah? 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.800 But only I was thick. Don't worry about it, you know. 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:05.240 Yeah. 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.720 Did you feel the same way when you're when you're yeah, 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.679 you know, And I've described Okay, we'll go go from 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:16.120 the beginning though. How you you know your wife is magnificent. Yes, 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.360 by the way, thank you, Yes, your family is so beautiful. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:19.840 Thank you. 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.240 How was that? I mean, how how old were you? When? 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:27.320 How old were you when you had your first child? 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.760 Let's see, I think I was forty, you're forty. She 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:33.640 just turned forward a little different than me. Yeah, a 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:34.760 little bit, a little. 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:35.240 Bit, a little bit. 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.679 I had to run it a running start at it, right, And. 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.040 I would say, yeah, I would say I think it 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:47.600 was in my late thirties, yeah, right, And I met Amanda, 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.200 and I knew she was going to be an incredible mother, 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:52.079 you know, and. 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:53.640 Your instinct just told you. 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.600 Yeah, I just told me, you know, and I think 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.360 a family is probably wanted with each other, right, So 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:01.600 so you know, so we were like, it's time. 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.720 And then as soon as if I out she was pregnant. 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.760 I mean the same thing, right, I was just like, 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:13.080 all right, I think I'm gonna keep a knife in 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:14.600 the back of my pocket at all times. 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.400 You know, there will be a tank full of gas 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.200 in the car at all times, you know what I mean. 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.440 Like there's just like this level of readiness that would 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.200 just effortlessly, like I had to check a list of 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.080 boxes and like what I had. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:29.640 To have ready. 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:29.920 You know. 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.080 I remember when she was born and I and I 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:36.400 held the Kando and I thought to myself, Oh, that's 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:40.280 what they mean by you being able to lift the car. Yeah, 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.360 Like if I had to, I would lift I will 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.120 lift the car and I would. 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:45.760 Flip it over. 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:49.880 You're like, there's just something that happens inside of you, right, 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.880 and all of that In the same coin, I would 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:59.000 say that there was this profound feeling of belonging in 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:03.480 a feel purpose to what else can I build now 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:07.120 for her? How much bigger can I build the world 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.240 that she lives around so she can inherit, you know, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.080 better shots than I ever did, Right, Like, I started getting. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:14.000 Too philosophical about it. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.920 I started thinking about the big pictures and how am 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:18.960 I going to move the needle forward? And how farther 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:20.880 along I'm going to take the torch so by the 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.440 time she inherit as the torch, she doesn't have to 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.920 climb as Steve or she doesn't have to you know, 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.240 you know, run as long, you know, to kind of 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:29.640 get there. 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:41.160 You think you got that from your pop? 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:41.800 Yeah? 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:42.280 You think so? 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:43.520 He did that for me? 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:43.760 Right? 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.000 I mean I think I would say that my dad 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:50.000 sacrifice everything, my mom sacrificed everything to give us a. 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:51.080 Better shot that they did. 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:53.720 And I will never forget one thing that my dad said, 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.760 which was Mi Joe came to America to work. I 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:01.440 need you to get the education that I never had. Yeah, 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:05.000 and by the way, you know that meant I got 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.800 high school diploma. Right And you know I said the 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.480 bar very low as you could. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.920 Said the very low you did a Lebron, you went, 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:15.640 you went pro. 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:19.760 Yeah, you know, I got scouted very quickly, awful high school. 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.960 You know, I wash, you know, and so so so. 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:23.360 Yeah. 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:27.000 But I think to your point, you know, he had 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:30.440 passed down this sense of your next, you know. And 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.680 I think in many ways I took the job of 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.280 the men of the house or the father figure of 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.880 the house very quickly in my early twenties, as soon 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:41.680 as I was being the bread winner of the house. 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:46.440 I think that's why I feel like, you know, my family, 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:53.480 you know, was as a later evolution because I had 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:57.520 dedicated myself making sure my parents had everything that they 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.560 never had, right, you know, and my sister have the 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.840 safety that you know, we grew up kind of not having, 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:06.840 right like that, that to me felt like the first 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.600 phase of manhood, right you know. And once I had 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.800 achieved that everybody has everything they need, I felt like 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:14.119 then I put myself next. 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:19.240 Necessity is the mother of all invention, right, So because 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:23.439 of the necessity, Yeah, it drove you to invent you 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.800 in your company, you as a product, right. 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:31.200 And I think to your point, not until I feel 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:34.480 that job was done. And I mean, look, we're individuals. 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.040 We have to put ourselves last, right, because that's just 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:38.760 and culturally it's kind of how it works. 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:39.080 Right. 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.399 So as soon as I felt I had achieved the 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:45.960 safety and the wealth being of my family, my mom 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.240 and my dad, I felt like then I was next. 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:48.760 Yeah. 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:50.720 And it's like, I don't know if it's healthy. 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:53.399 I don't know if it is not healthy, but I 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:55.479 think it is kind of a mentality. Like you your 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:57.800 first job is to make sure the house and your 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.720 mom and your parents and everybody have what they need, 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:02.320 and then you move on to yourself, right, Like you 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.119 put yourself at the end of that list. 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.520 And I think I had achieved it. 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.879 And you know, I was always longing to be a parent, 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.520 you know, so, but that that's one thing I remember. 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:13.800 As soon as I held my child, as soon as 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:15.040 I hell Nicano. 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:20.040 I felt that the purpose I had self proclaimed for 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:24.080 myself have become one of, uh, you know, what's next 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.240 for her, which, in retrospect turn into what's next for 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:27.960 this generation? 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.919 What are we creating? What are we leaving behind? It 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.359 made me dream and I was a big dreamer, but 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:34.960 it made me dream a little bigger for sure. 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.760 Wow. But she needs a partner in crime. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.800 Though, Yes, yes, yes, yes, you know, and I would 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.520 say this Amanda is you know, some of you may 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:51.320 know Amanda is expecting Hell, heyco another maybe. And we 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:54.600 were very, very very excited for Nicano. 0:18:54.640 --> 0:18:56.359 I'm very excited for ourselves. 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.639 But the big question was like when you know, like 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:03.240 when I mean and we we were just letting. 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:05.480 It happen and all that stuff. And but I. 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:07.359 Think one of the things that I felt like we 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.400 did pretty good for ourselves, this isn't just in our case, 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.880 was that we we waited enough time that we could 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:18.399 really enjoy the condo and all her little faces before 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:19.919 we introduced a second child. 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:24.879 Yeah, and this next child came at her she just 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:25.400 turned four. 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:28.399 Yeah, you know, so to me, she'll be signed as 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.719 a little bit help her. You know, she's so much 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:32.879 more aware. She's actually excited about the Arina. 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.240 Yeah. That's a good fan. Yeah. 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:36.240 Yeah, I think so too. 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.639 You know, usually the rule of thumb is like finish 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:41.919 wiping one but before you. 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:42.760 Started the other one. 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:45.840 Yeah, I kind of forgot about that person. Now we're 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:48.120 bringing it back in you know gif you wiping butt, bro? 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.160 I know, morning, And you know what was wonderful about 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:55.399