1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,440
Speaker 1: Hey City Misconnections.

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 2: That was me staring.

3
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,800
Speaker 1: There's only two places to find true love in this world.

4
00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 1: One is at the Olive Garden after turning that giant

5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,880
Speaker 1: bubbling vat of marenera sauce into a mini hot tub.

6
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,919
Speaker 2: For two okay because the share an.

7
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,720
Speaker 1: The other is on the pages of craigslist dot org.

8
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,919
Speaker 1: We scour that website every week to find the best

9
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,720
Speaker 1: misconnections that they have to offer, like this first one

10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:31,640
Speaker 1: titled care for some Lama Sutra haha man for woman

11
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:36,279
Speaker 1: thirties Downtown. I noticed you while I was attending the

12
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,279
Speaker 1: Moonlight Lama yoga.

13
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 2: Class at the Community Center.

14
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,800
Speaker 1: So cute. You were the thin blonde with the Camo

15
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,320
Speaker 1: sports bra and invisible eyebrows.

16
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,680
Speaker 2: Where did they go? Are they just not?

17
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,000
Speaker 1: There?

18
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,360
Speaker 2: Went pretty ham in the late nineties. I love a

19
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 2: woman wrapped in mystery.

20
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:01,440
Speaker 1: At one point I heard the instructor call out to you, Yulia,

21
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:10,200
Speaker 1: what a gorgeous name is that Chinese if Sonhow.

22
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,280
Speaker 2: Maybe he's a much more worldly man I've never met.

23
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,360
Speaker 1: We were both trying to find our zen in the

24
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,759
Speaker 1: midst of curious lamas wandering around.

25
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,959
Speaker 2: That is amazing. I want to go to Lama ya.

26
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,120
Speaker 1: And that's when I noticed you staring, and I didn't

27
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:25,720
Speaker 1: shy away.

28
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 2: I stared right back at you.

29
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,720
Speaker 1: That lasted for about twenty seconds until I realized you

30
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,480
Speaker 1: were trying to draw my attention to a rogue lama

31
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,760
Speaker 1: who was chewing on my yoga mat like it was

32
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,120
Speaker 1: a piece of dried mango.

33
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:45,640
Speaker 2: Oh goat yoga as well, yeah everything, yeah.

34
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,720
Speaker 1: Later, I tried to get your attention by attempting a

35
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:53,160
Speaker 1: new move I called awkward alpaca. It's similar to downward dog,

36
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,960
Speaker 1: but with a lot more neck. Let me know if

37
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,680
Speaker 1: you want to get some boba and hit up a

38
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 1: different yoga class this time, no lama drama.

39
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 2: That's from Blaine. This is one of my favorite children's books.

40
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled missed Enchantment Man for Woman,

41
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: twenties Renaissance fairse and it literally says trumpet sounds at

42
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:19,639
Speaker 1: the start, so.

43
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 3: Here hear ye in the days of yore, at the

44
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,480
Speaker 3: fair of Renaissance, I came upon thy tent of fortune

45
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,000
Speaker 3: telling and laid mine eyes on the fairest.

46
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,200
Speaker 2: Of temptresses I had ever seen.

47
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:44,720
Speaker 1: That's was you, sweet lady, pythought, I thought, Pythoart Thart part.

48
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 2: It's better.

49
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:50,800
Speaker 1: I don't understand with words most cryptic and Bosom's most bountiful,

50
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,320
Speaker 1: you gave it to me mine future. You speaketh that

51
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:59,240
Speaker 1: I would soon encounter the love of my life. Ah, And,

52
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,880
Speaker 1: judging by your wandering eye and fickled tongue, I pondered,

53
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,680
Speaker 1: did you mean thyself perchance.

54
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:07,720
Speaker 2: For their tongue?

55
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 1: Emboldened by love, I left, drank some grog and vanquished

56
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: some pitiful nights, then returned with a flower I hath

57
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 1: stolen off another maiden's dress. Yes, I can be a

58
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 1: naughty lark at times. When I doth returned, you had vanished,

59
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,840
Speaker 1: like Merlin the enchanter. Oh, perhaps to participate in the

60
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:36,320
Speaker 1: wet tunic contest happening yonder by the pumpkin Tribuche That happened,

61
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,280
Speaker 1: sadly I missed it because my job at ye local

62
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,320
Speaker 1: car wash was a calling. Hence, if ye fair maiden

63
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,680
Speaker 1: doth lay eyes on this confession of love, wave the

64
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,640
Speaker 1: flag of romance over the spot where we first met

65
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,240
Speaker 1: at the nearest full moon. Oh, wow, I will wait

66
00:03:54,320 --> 00:04:00,200
Speaker 1: for you in earnest or cometh by ye old car wash. Yeah,

67
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,920
Speaker 1: for fan maidens like yourself, I think the car wash.

68
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,080
Speaker 3: Is going to be a safe for bet my man

69
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,160
Speaker 3: than to flag it at what moonlight fla.

70
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,600
Speaker 1: This is also a horse walk that was signed to

71
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,800
Speaker 1: Oliver I love it.

72
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 2: He deserves some love.

73
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:20,800
Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled tag You're Definitely it oh

74
00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 1: Man for woman thirties laser tag Arena. Oh, you were

75
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,039
Speaker 1: the only other solo adult that I got paired with

76
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,040
Speaker 1: at a birthday party full of twelve year old boys.

77
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 2: I haven't been since I was twelve. Shit, I didn't

78
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,040
Speaker 2: tell you. I went down long ago.

79
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 1: Fun it is, but everything feels smaller when you were a.

80
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,359
Speaker 2: Kid because it was a huge build. Totally. They go on,

81
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,880
Speaker 2: were you the mom?

82
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,560
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but you did approach me and asked

83
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,000
Speaker 1: if I knew any of the children.

84
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean it. You don't want the one strange

85
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,680
Speaker 2: dude in a dark room. That's a red flash.

86
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,160
Speaker 1: I did, But to tell you the truth, I made

87
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:07,440
Speaker 1: that up only because I've been asked that before and

88
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,760
Speaker 1: then got promptly escorted out of the premise.

89
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,440
Speaker 2: I didn't want that to happen again. But you were smart.

90
00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,080
Speaker 1: A few seconds later you asked my name, and I

91
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,160
Speaker 1: told you John Stamos nineteen eighty three.

92
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,839
Speaker 2: No, you are not that handle. That's my code name online.

93
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,000
Speaker 1: Yes, if you want, you can use that to see

94
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,080
Speaker 1: my bio on the professional laser tag ranking sites.

95
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,800
Speaker 2: Dude, I feel like that adds some legitimacy to him,

96
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,000
Speaker 2: though he.

97
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,880
Speaker 1: Says I was actually in the top three hundred a

98
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 1: few years ago, but dropped out because of COVID. That

99
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,560
Speaker 1: and my ex girlfriend spread rumors about me juicing my

100
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,320
Speaker 1: laser and ranked competitions, which.

101
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:56,880
Speaker 2: Is complete bs. By the way, bring his own laser?

102
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,440
Speaker 2: Is it by laser?

103
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:00,880
Speaker 1: I don't know.

104
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,039
Speaker 2: Anyway, It was fun to play with you, even if

105
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,160
Speaker 2: you are an amateur.

106
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: Did you notice during the second game I human shielded

107
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,360
Speaker 1: you by the barricade. That's when I took the opportunity

108
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:17,200
Speaker 1: to smell your hair. Is that Suave Essentials Ocean Breeze?

109
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 1: I only know because my aunt uses the same one

110
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,480
Speaker 1: Ocean Breeze.

111
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,560
Speaker 2: Even blue Bottle.

112
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,000
Speaker 1: Maybe we can hang out sometime and play a little

113
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:34,480
Speaker 1: one on one this time, no guns, no kids, and

114
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,040
Speaker 1: definitely no clothes, but still.

115
00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,920
Speaker 2: Lasers of course. Yeah yeah.

116
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:45,880
Speaker 1: Signed John Stamos nine three aka Dougie Peterson Junior.

117
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm company to bleep. That did you put your

118
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,240
Speaker 2: whole name on here?

119
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,480
Speaker 1: That's your Craigslist smithsconnections for the week.

120
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,040
Speaker 2: We're gonna do your phone tap right after this. Brooking

121
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,240
Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the morning