WEBVTT - Citizening at The Source (Sam Rader) 0:00:02.000 --> 0:00:07.360 It's a radical act of citizen ing to change our story, 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:10.720 to change the narrative that we're living within and our 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:14.480 relationship to ourselves and others in the world of like. 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:18.680 I won't participate in the authorizing, the dehumanizing, the fighting, 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:19.360 the oppression. 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:20.400 I won't. 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:21.959 I'm not going to do that to me. I'm not 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:24.160 going to do that to you. I am going to 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:28.400 stand for love. I will stand for love, and in 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:31.320 that being, this change my world. 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:37.400 Welcome to How to Citizen with Baratunde, a podcast that 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:41.279 reimagined citizen as a verb, not a legal status. This 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.800 season is all about how we practice democracy, what can 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:47.239 we get rid of, what can we invent, and how 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:50.280 do we change the culture of democracy itself. We're leaving 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.240 the theoretical clouds and hitting the ground with inspiring examples 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:57.360 of people and institutions that are showing us new ways 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:06.680 to govern ourselves. I can't believe this is the final 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:10.280 episode of our fourth season of How to Citizen. I'm 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.720 so glad you're here now. If you've been with us 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:15.640 from the start, thank you, and I hope we've given 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:19.920 you new perspectives, solutions and practices to get inspired by 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.520 and to try. If you're new to the show, thank 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:26.679 you as well. It is never too late to start citizen. 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.600 We kicked off this season with Adrian Marie Brown. It 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:37.040 was a beautiful, expansive conversation about the importance of getting 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.480 into right relationship with each other and seeing democracy is 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.920 something we create at the micro level at home and 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:47.200 in our communities, not just at the macro level via 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:52.280 the ballot box. Adrian shared this idea that I'm still 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.520 playing with in my mind. The idea that the external 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.760 systems were fighting so hard against also exists inside of us. 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:05.200 The inequality, racism, extreme capitalism, all the isms don't just 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:09.680 exist out there, they take root in here. So as 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.760 much as we need to citizen externally to make our 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:17.320 communities and our country better by participating, investing in relationships, 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:21.600 understanding power, and valuing the collective, we also need to 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:27.079 citizen internally. And that brings me to our second pillar, 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:33.760 invest in relationships. We have mostly focused on using that 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:35.919 as a way to connect to the people around us 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.400 and to the planet, but the full line is invest 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:43.880 in relationships with yourself, with others, and with the planet. 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.240 And it's so important that we take that first piece 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:51.560 that relationship with ourselves as equal to the relationship with 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:56.560 others in the planet. Today, doctor Sam Raider is helping 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:59.440 us go deeper so that we can understand what it 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:03.200 takes to create a culture within ourselves that supports creating 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:07.680 a culture of democracy for all of us. I was 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:11.240 introduced to Sam through my wife Elizabeth, who you should 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:14.320 know by now is executive producer of this show. And 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:17.800 if I'm being honest, when I first met Sam, I 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:22.280 thought she was a bit out there. She was always 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.600 talking about alternative approaches to healing and what we could 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.200 learn from quantum physics, and what we could learn from 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:32.359 psychedelics and how to undo our internal wirings from childhood 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.840 and blah blah blah. It was a lot okay, But 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:39.400 over time, Sam and the way she sees the world, 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.400 they started to click for me. In her eighteen years 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.480 of practicing psychology, Sam couldn't ignore these patterns she saw 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:50.920 her clients living through and realized she needed to step 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:55.240 outside of that traditional practice and try something new. So 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.760 she developed an approach called source Code, which she says 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:03.360 focuses on the speed theirritual dimension of healing. Sam believes 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.960 that our early childhood experiences write a code in our 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:11.080 unconscious which then determines the way our story unfolds. And 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:16.400 she's committed to helping people rewrite their code. And I 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.920 want to be clear, this isn't talk therapy, and I'm 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:21.719 not going to ask you to lay back on your couch, 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:26.279 but it is deeply vulnerable. What Sam asks people to 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.400 do is get honest about the role we cast for 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:33.039 ourselves in our lives and the responses we think we're 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:39.839 hardwired to have. If you have any exposure to the 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:45.240 modern world of wellness or healing or Instagram spirituality, then 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.599 you know it can feel completely divorced from and even 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:53.240 in denial of reality. I have found that Sam has 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:57.719 a foot in both worlds, the internal and external. She 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:01.800 protests signed petitions, her money where her mouth is. I 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.599 literally depend on her for my LA voting guide every 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.680 time we have to vote, which feels like every other month. 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:13.000 Sam is so dedicated to this inner work because she 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.960 believes that our personal healing is what's going to help 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:22.440 us create collective healing. After the break, Doctor Sam Raider 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.480 on the source code running our lives and how turning 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.800 inward can help us create a culture of democracy that 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:43.279 supports a just and loving world. We are so excited 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.760 to have you here to explore this belief that I've 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.480 had for a while now, based some on my own experience, 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:51.960 based some on your work about the importance of healing 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:55.000 ourselves before we can heal the world, and how we 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.159 can sit as in better. So that's the crux of 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:00.240 why you're here, and I want to start with just 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:03.520 asking you, how did you come to make this connection 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.000 that our internal worlds directly link to our experience of 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.760 the external one. Did it happen in a moment a 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:13.200 series of moments with some of your discovery of this link. 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.720 I was a psychologist for eighteen years in private practice, 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:19.320 starting with my practic and going through, you know, having 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.440 my own business, and I started to see that there 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:27.200 were these patterns that people were coming in and saying 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.279 the same things to me, even across all different walks 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:34.960 of life, all different socioeconomic status, race, gender, you know, 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.800 it didn't really matter. There were these universal patterns. And 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:44.160 when I started relating with the patterns instead of the 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:47.960 specifics of what the person was bringing in, I noticed 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.160 that there were these radical shifts not only in how 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:53.640 the person showed up in the world, how they felt, 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:56.680 how they behaved, but also how the world showed up 0:06:56.680 --> 0:07:00.479 for them in an almost mystical way. Things change in 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:03.920 their external environment to now reflect their new internal environment. 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:07.560 And it started happening so many times that I couldn't 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:11.040 unsee it. And that's why I guess I walk this 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.280 divine paradox, like, yes, I create the voter guide every vote. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:15.160 I believe in. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:20.080 Citizen ing deeply, and I believe it's all an illusion, 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.720 kind of how the Hindus have been saying for thousands 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.920 of years. It's all you know, everything we're experiencing is 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:28.320 a part of ourselves. 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.320 The idea that everything we're experiencing is a part of 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:35.360 ourselves links to some of my in field experience is 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.400 making America outdoors and the idea that we are a 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:41.120 part of nature, not apart from nature, and so we 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.480 see ourselves in the external in these patterns that you 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:48.440 were seeing in your patience, your clients in the psychology 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:51.680 realm you described, you know, a shift in them that 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.280 would then shift some of the world around them. What's 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.880 an example of what you were noticing and what changed 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:02.520 after you called attention to or intervened in some way. 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:05.680 Yeah, so I was thinking in preparation for this interview 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.720 about this client of mine whose political beliefs were those 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.520 that are sort of associated with oppression. And when we 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.840 explored his internal landscape and the sort of symbols that 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.440 run him, we found that he experienced his father as 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:23.680 oppressive as a little one, and actually said sometimes when 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.240 his father would get really angry, it felt like a 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:29.560 silver back gorilla. And so we started talking about the 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:33.240 silver back gorilla, this part that's so big and so 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:36.960 scary and gets to have all the power, and that 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:39.240 that part is paired with this other part that feels 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:43.199 so powerless. So in his symbolic landscape, there was this 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:46.360 big thing and this little thing and they went together 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:50.440 in such a scary, disturbing way. And so if you're 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.360 living in a universe where there's big guys and little 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.040 guys and the little guys always lose, of course you're 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:57.080 going to want to be a big guy. 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.840 Logical' that's just that. 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:02.920 So you know, I never spoke to him about his 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:06.640 political beliefs, and all we did was work on the 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:10.679 symbols that run him, this awful split in power, these 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:14.959 symbols of bigness and smallness, and oppression, and we started 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.520 to alchemize those symbols and replace them with new symbols 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:25.440 of togetherness, connection, empowerment, equality, equity, and we started shifting 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:29.120 things down, down, down at that symbolic layer. And then 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.040 he comes in and says to me, you know, I've 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:34.920 been thinking about the way that I vote. I think 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.840 there's something off here, like I'm realizing it doesn't actually 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.040 honor the human beings in the world. And then a 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.600 few weeks later he comes in and says, it doesn't 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.120 feel right anymore to have a gun yet a gun, 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:48.520 and it's like, yeah, well, if we're living in the 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:52.360 big guys and little guys paradigm of dominance, it makes 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.880 a lot of sense to have a gun, right, Yeah. 0:09:55.320 --> 0:10:00.199 But this is someone who would find himself regularly these 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:02.800 pickles in life. You know, people on the road would 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:04.560 cut them off and they'd get in these battles or 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:08.880 just odd problems would be coming into his life in 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.359 various social settings where there was a lot of conflict 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:16.679 and shows of dominance, and as he shifted his internal landscape, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.560 those things just didn't show up in his world anymore. 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:22.640 He wasn't being beckoned into that fight because he wasn't 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:24.400 organized around fight. 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:29.080 Thank you for the silverback gorilla tail. I've been on 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.439 a tour over the past few years doing a lot 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:35.319 of talking and connecting, and one of the stories I've 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:37.800 been trying to shift with the audience I connect with 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.719 is like, I'm not here to take anything from you. 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:42.640 You know, there is so many of us wired to 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:46.400 believe in what Heather McGee, another previous guest on our show, 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.079 calls the zero sum game. If you get something, it's 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.640 got to come at my expense. And it's like, that's 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:56.720 a possible interpretation, or we could get more together, which. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:11:01.160 Is how nature has worked for time immemorial. Everything springs 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.040 up interdependent with one another. 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:03.440 You know. 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:07.640 It's just this ecosystem of life that supports itself and 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:11.040 each other, and everyone wins and everything keeps each other 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:15.920 in checks and balances and thriving. Something about the way 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.960 we've started to organize ourselves in the last couple thousand years. 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.680 We're getting away from that, but we can also return 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:24.040 to that. 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:29.240 I keep thinking back to the first conversation this season 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.720 with Adrian Marie Brown. We spent some time on fractals. 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.640 We talked about how fractals you represent these patterns that 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:40.920 replicate at the small medium at every scale. The implication 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.360 being if we change something at the small scale, it 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:47.240 will replicate, it will ripple to the larger scale. And 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:52.160 I know you're a big fan of fractals, and even 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.000 the story you shared has you know it hints at this. 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.080 But where do fractals fit into your worldview when you 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.720 think about the connection between shifting our internal world to 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:02.839 shift the external world. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.480 So, for those of you who don't know, a fractal 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.320 is a pattern that keeps repeating at every scale. So 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.480 if you zoom in, it's the same pattern. Zoom all 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:14.720 the way out, same pattern. Turn to the left, same pattern, 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:17.880 turn to the right, same pattern. It's infinite. Fractals are 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:22.440 everywhere in our universe. The branching in our lungs mirrors 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.960 the branching in nature in trees and so on and 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:29.680 so forth. So there are certain patterns that keep repeating. Now, 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.960 source code is based on the idea that in our 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:36.480 first five years of life, our early experience encodes into 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:40.319 us some patterning. What we learn explicitly by what we're 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.920 taught and also implicitly from how we're treated in our environment, 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:49.240 creates this deep patterning inside of us, and that pattern 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.720 keeps repeating. So for that client, it was that pattern 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:55.319 of dominance and oppression, and that pattern keeps repeating like 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.640 a fractal. There's actually this really beautiful book called You 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.840 Matter more Than You Think. It's written by Karen O'Brien 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:05.240 who's a professor of human geography at OSLO in Norway, 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:09.319 and she talks about that this is a fractal universe. 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:12.520 You know, quantum physics and mathematics is bringing us closer 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.760 to this, knowing that we really do live in this 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.840 place where it's all just patterns that keep repeating. And 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:21.640 for us at the societal scale, how we're citizening. It's 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:26.080 the idea of paradigms. So the paradigm of dominance has 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:30.800 become really big, but it's become really big because as children, 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.160 there's a lot of children who experience that dominance thing 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.320 in their family system, so then it's encoded into them, 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:42.000 then they embody it, and then our collective embodiment creates 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:46.520 these larger macrosystems that mirror like a fractal. So the 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.000 cool part from that book You Matter More Than You Think, 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:53.800 is she says, you know, every point is the center 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:58.679 point in a fractal universe. So what each of us embody, 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.640 how we show up up, what we believe, how we 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:06.160 citizen is the beginning of a new world. Every moment 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.959 can bur the new world of how we want to 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:09.439 show up. 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:13.360 All right? So I literally got like slightly emotional slash 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:17.120 chills because I don't think I speak just for myself 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.600 when I say that the world can feel very frustrating, 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.760 can feel very overwhelming. In terms of the challenges, I 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:26.960 could list off a litany of isms and ologies, yes, 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.400 which are impeding our growth and our evolution, and patterns 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.360 and stories and systems that we were born into, sometimes 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:37.920 literally in our families, sometimes more metaphorically as a society. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.600 And if I want to counter that, right, if I 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:43.120 want to change that, I'm like, I got to join 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:46.720 the right organization, I got to fund the right politician. 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:50.240 Oh everything they said was a lie. And what I'm 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.560 hearing in this you matter more than you think. And 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:57.080 the center is actually everywhere, is that the front line 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.640 is also in here. And so if I just start 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:05.080 right the place, the space matters a little less than 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:07.760 just the commencement. And maybe I could start with me 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.960 and have that be my own front line. 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.000 Absolutely, Oh my god, I feel you know, tiriy I 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.400 just hearing you talk about it. And in twenty sixteen, 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.680 when Trump was elected, I wrote this cheeky article entitled 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:25.920 why Trump's presidency might promise more hope and change than Obama's. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.280 What Okay, hold on, I'm with you, I'm with you, 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.360 But I mean that's the very clickbaity great clickbaby. My 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:36.120 emotions are moving now because nobody speaks against my man, 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:40.520 old I loved you. Would you talking about doctor Stale? 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:44.040 Well, when we go looking out there and absolutely keep 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:47.840 citizen ing, keep contributing, keep funding, keep going, keep protesting, 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:52.200 and when we're only looking out there, we forget that 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:54.680 power that every point is the center point in the fractal. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.520 So the way I see Trump is that he's kind 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.720 of a caricature of our collective wound in this nation 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.640 of otherizing. So he does this big thing about let's 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.480 build a wall, and these people are bad, and you know, 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:12.440 I'm the greatest, and then we liberals say no, you're 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:16.160 bad and we're good. It's just a mirror image. It's 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:21.680 Malkovich Malkovich. So the dehumanizing that's festering at the core 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:26.240 of our nation. He's coming forward as this big embodiment 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.960 of that going do you see? Do you see who 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:34.880 we are? And it's our opportunity and invitation to go 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.760 inside and go Okay, where am I dehumanizing even them? 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:40.880 Because if I had lived the sum total of their 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:43.880 life experience, I would also believe and act the way 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.000 that they are. And so it's like, there are no 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.360 bad people, only hurt people, hurt people. 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:54.200 I've heard that line so many times, and you know, 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:58.080 the people who are hurt in turn hurt others. I think, 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:04.000 you know, Trump is a tricky caricature as a particular example, 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:08.560 where yes, we hold the truth that hurt people hurt people, 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.720 and we act to counter the harm and the hurt 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.919 that's being created by this person. It's the both, at 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:17.639 least for me, I don't even know if that's a question. 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:20.840 It's more of a statement to get your response to, Oh, 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.359 because I don't want to feel like so just have 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:28.040 to vaguely love, you know, hurtful people and the world's 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:29.000 going to fix itself. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.959 Oh yes, I do think there are some people who, 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.320 because of their coping styles and wounds, are living in 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.080 a little bit of denial of reality and doing what 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.280 I call spiritual bypass where they're like, everyone just needs 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.679 to raise their level of consciousness. And I'm like, okay, 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.720 you tell that to a slave in chains in a 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.520 diamond mind right now, like, oh, just raise your level 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:52.280 of consciousness. Like we have to hold both. 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:53.840 We have to hold. 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:57.120 Both that there are certain sticky spots in this universe 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:01.880 where people don't have the flexibility like on Maslow's hierarchy 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.960 of needs to be thinking about the quantum and my 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:08.360 embodiment and what story am I telling? Sometimes things are 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.960 just really real, and how can we hold both that 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:17.879 our relationship to things matters, that are embodiment matters, that 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.640 are being this matters, and that there are very real 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:22.760 things going on in the world that need to be stopped, 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:24.679 that need to be talked about, that need to be 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.240 addressed and not swept under the rug. 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:30.720 Yes, and it's improv It all comes back to improv comedy. 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.960 I want to back up on some terminology. We've got 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.040 source code, We've got a coding session rather than a 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:46.800 therapy session. We've got symbolic versus concrete or circumstances. I 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:49.879 think you use that word can you give us a 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:53.399 lay of this linguistic land that you're also creating. What 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:58.560 is symbolic versus the traditional way we tend to approach 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:01.800 kind of articulating our our problems are in our selves. 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:02.680 Yeah. 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:03.080 Sure. 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.879 So if we think about the client who had the 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:08.919 dad that he associated with the silver Back guerrilla, the 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:12.560 concrete circumstances in his life that week may have been 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:15.480 that some dick cut him off on the road. He 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.800 comes in and he wants to tell me about this 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:25.280 specific situation that's so frustrating and so irritating, and what 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.879 do I do about these people everywhere that are trying 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:29.520 to cut me off? 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:29.800 Right? 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.359 And it's this very specific thing. But instead of going 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:36.640 with the concrete specifics, we're going to dive deeper beneath 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:40.919 to the symbols, the symbolic landscape or symbolic nexus that 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:43.679 got encoded into him when he was little, that's running 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.480 his life now. It's the algorithm of his matrix. It's 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:49.840 what he notices, it's what he attracts, it's what he 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.879 orients around. It's his favorite story to keep telling, no 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:56.199 matter how awful and enraging it is. And so we 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.000 go down, down, down, and we work with the symbols instead. 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:01.439 Like we were talking earlier, there's this gorilla in the mouse, 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:05.240 the big part in the little part. Those are archetypal symbols. 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.800 And when we can resolve things down at that symbolic layer, 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:12.679 poof his life shifts. He notices different things, he attracts 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.800 different things, he creates different things, he embodies different things, 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.120 he believes different things, he relates in a new way. 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:20.400 And that's the work that I do. 0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:24.399 Yeah, and I want to dive deeper into your source 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:28.359 code world and your coping styles world. What have you 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.320 found when you've gone inside? What are the wounds that 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:35.359 you've been able to kind of categorize and label and 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:38.080 give some structure to to help us make sense of 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:40.160 that internal landscape so we could adjust how we show 0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:41.879 up in the external landscape. 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:47.000 So source Code has identified that there's twelve coping styles 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:48.880 that we all share, and all of us have several. 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:50.720 I had all twelve, which is sort of what allowed 0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:52.960 me to be the conduit for the work. But those 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:55.960 coping styles are the defense mechanisms that we inherit in 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:59.720 our early experience when we don't get the precise support 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.719 need at each developmental stage. So all of us are 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:05.440 walking around with these patterns or coping styles, or glitches 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.199 in our matrix that make things hard, these tough patterns 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.320 that keep repeating. But what's more interesting to me is 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:14.400 that under them, as soon as we dissolve them, which 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.840 is what source code does, under those defenses, each of 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:28.800 us is the most exquisitely beautiful energy, the most loving, relational, curious, playful, magical, 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.760 gentle spirit waiting dormant inside of each of us to 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:38.880 awaken beyond those defenses. That's what I find inside when 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:41.840 I assist someone in stepping out of a lifelong nightmare 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:43.919 that they've been trapped inside of. You know, when you 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:47.240 think about your life, you notice those patterns that keep 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:49.400 repeating of like why am I always invisible? Why does 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:52.280 no one hear me? You know? And it's like, because 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:55.520 that's something that got encoded into you and now you 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:57.399 keep reliving it. But it doesn't have to be. So 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.959 this morning I received a DM from a student who 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.320 was in a class with me last night, and she said, 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:06.080 you know, I was feeling very upset and missed because 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.120 in the first half of class, every time I wrote 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.680 something in the chat, you missed it. You skipped over 0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:13.480 that and read everyone else's and I felt so invisible 0:22:13.480 --> 0:22:15.720 my whole life. And so during the break, I decided, 0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:19.320 let me stand taller and speak my truth and speak 0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:22.520 my needs. She came forward and was like, I won't 0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:24.840 be invisible, and then she got the love and the 0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:27.560 support she needed. So she saw that it was a pattern, 0:22:27.800 --> 0:22:30.960 a pattern from childhood that keeps repeating, and she shifted 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:34.000 her energy, she shifted her embodiment, she shifted what she's 0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:36.240 willing to participate in. I'm not going to keep playing 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:39.159 out that old story. And then she got to have 0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:40.080 a new experience. 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:43.879 So what flash into my mind just now was an image. 0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:46.960 It's a civil rights image from nineteen sixty eight. The 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:50.720 Memphis sanitation workers are striking. They're all black. They're holding 0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:55.440 up signs that simply say I am a man right, 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:59.440 just affirming and asserting a different story, a different ownership 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:02.840 of self that's been denied, you know, and encoded right 0:23:02.840 --> 0:23:07.200 into laws and practices and cultures. Also children who created 0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:10.880 those laws and practices and cultures, and not being seen, 0:23:10.920 --> 0:23:14.840 not being humanized. But to humanize yourself first and demand 0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:17.359