1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It's time for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please submit 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com by clicking 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, And you never know your letter 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: could be read live on the air, just like this 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,240 Speaker 1: one right here, and you never know it could be yours. 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: How about that? How about that? Buckle up and hold 8 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: on type We got it for you here it is 9 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: straw very letter. Subjects he and his brother's baby mama. 10 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I was married for eleven years and 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: we had two daughters. The last three years of our marriage, 12 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: he met with his brother's baby mother and she got pregnant. 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: His brother has two sons by this woman, and my 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: husband is the godfather of both of his brother's sons. 15 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: His brother left left her after he caught her in 16 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: bed with another man at their house. She started popping 17 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: up at our house to talk to my husband, and 18 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: I always assumed it was to talk about his brother's 19 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: dumping her. I invited her over for Thanksgiving in twenty 20 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: twenty and she pulled my husband aside to talk to him, 21 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: and I let them talk. She got very upset and 22 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: was crying. Then she got I rate and started pointing 23 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 1: her finger forcibly forcefully into my husband's head. He pulled 24 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: her close to comfort her, and I still did not 25 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: get involved. This sort of thing happened four more times, 26 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: and she was always very upset when she came to 27 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: my house. I figured she must still be suffering from 28 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: the breakup, so I stayed out of it. Then, earlier 29 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,919 Speaker 1: this year, my husband got a letter from our local 30 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: child support office and I opened the letter and it 31 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: said he is the father of a baby girl, and 32 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: it listed his brother's baby mama as the mother. I 33 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: started snooping. Yeah, I started snooping through his drawers and 34 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: I found DNA test results hidden in a cigar box 35 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: in his junk drawer. This woman mysteriously had a baby, 36 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: and I had no idea she was pregnant. I sent 37 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: a picture of the DNA results to my husband's brother 38 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: and he responded that he's known about them for three 39 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,519 Speaker 1: years because he caught them in the act. I felt 40 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: so lost and stupid. Their daughter is two years old, 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: and this woman wants my kids to meet their sister, 42 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: and she wants to clear the air with me. Should 43 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: I forgive her and move on or keep ignoring her forever? 44 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: All right? Forgive them, for sure, forgive her, not for them, 45 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: not for her, but because forgiveness is for you to 46 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: be free to move on with your life. But anything 47 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: else all bets her off. Keep ignoring her forever, all right? 48 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: And don't you ever be that trusting to anyone again. 49 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: You saw what was going on, you didn't think for 50 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: a second that you know. I mean, I get that 51 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: she was distraught over her brother, but her pointing her 52 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: finger at his forehead and husband pulling her close to him, 53 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: all that's in your letter. I can't believe you didn't 54 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: suspect something was going on between them with all the 55 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: stuff they were doing. I mean, maybe because it was 56 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: done in your face and not behind your back, you 57 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: didn't think that they would be doing what they were doing. 58 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: I just don't know too many women, including myself, who 59 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: would have allowed them to carry on like they were 60 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: carrying on in front of you. So I'm gonna need 61 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 1: you to get mad, you know, do something, not just 62 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 1: ask keep ignoring her forever. You know, it's okay to forgive, 63 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: but you shouldn't forget or clear the air with her 64 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: like she wants to do. If you choose not to, Okay, 65 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: do what's best for you and your children, your family. Okay, 66 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: keep her out of it. She's trash at this point, 67 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, what she did to you 68 00:03:53,040 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: and her husband, Steve the most confusing damn letter of 69 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: the year. I don't know, Shirley. I can't make no 70 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: sense of this. I've been trying to find the turning points, 71 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: but the whole letters a turning point. The lady was 72 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: married for eleven years with a husband. They got two daughters, 73 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: but then the last three years of the marriage he 74 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: messed with his brother's babies and mama and she got pregnant. 75 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: His brother has two sons by this woman, and my 76 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: husband is the godfather of both of his brother's son. 77 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute. If this is your 78 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:48,799 Speaker 1: brother and he got two children, what is you the godfather? 79 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: For you the uncle? You're the uncle? See these this 80 00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: family love giving titles. Now his brother left her, He 81 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: left her baby mama after he caught her and dad 82 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: with another man at day house. Who is these men 83 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: that go over these other men's houses? Man, I just 84 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: don't understand that. I don't know why more of these 85 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 1: ain't winding up in depths. She started popping up at 86 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: our house to talk to my husband, and I always sooned. 87 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:25,919 Speaker 1: It was to talk about his brother dumping him. But 88 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: now let me say this though, Could it be the 89 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: way this letter's written when she said her brother left 90 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: her after he caught her in bed with another man 91 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: at day house? Could the other man have been his brother? Well? No, 92 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: I think that that was an additional man, Steve, because 93 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 1: lower in the letter he said he's known about we'll 94 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: find out. I invited over for Thanksgiving in twenty twenty. 95 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 1: She pulled my husband to decide to talk to him, 96 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: and I let him talk. She got upset and was crying, 97 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: and she got out rate started pointing her finger forcefully 98 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: into my husband's head. You know how they'd be tapping 99 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: on your head like what you ain't ain't nobody couldn't 100 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: do that to me. No, you're not gonna in front 101 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: of Margine. Okay, I don't know any woman alive, not 102 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: none quarter what is she tappingha? So that's kind of crazy. 103 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,919 Speaker 1: And I still didn't get get involved. This sort of 104 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: thing happened fall more times, and she was always upset. 105 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: When she came to my house. I figured she must 106 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 1: still be suffering from the breakup, so I stayed out 107 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: of her. How stupid are you? Well, she said that 108 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: she felt stupid. All right, we're talking a lot to 109 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: come back, all right. Part two of Steve's response coming 110 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after be our today's Strawberry letters, 111 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: subject he and his brother's baby mama. We'll get back 112 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, 113 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject he and his 114 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: brother's baby mama. This reggans so confused the letter. It's 115 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: the letter, Sherley said. Let me don't even know the 116 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: damn people best right here. This lady married to her husband, 117 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: they got two kids, and then uh later three years, 118 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: the last three years of the marriage, he messed with 119 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: his brother's baby's mama and she got pregnant. His brother 120 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: got two sons by this woman, and my husband is 121 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: the godfather to both his brother's son. You ain't uncle. 122 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: You're at damn uncle. You legally everything. You ain't uncle. 123 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: You don't need no extra titles. His brother left her 124 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: because he caught her in bed with another man at 125 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: the house, and then she started popping up at our 126 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: house to talk to my husband. Always assumed it was 127 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: to talk about his brother dumping her. I'm telling you, Shirley, 128 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: I think got the man she he caught in bed 129 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: with her is his brother. Because right after that she 130 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: kept coming to the house. Yeah, mad every time she 131 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: come to the house. Right after that, then they said 132 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: I invited over the Thanksgiving twenty twenty, she pulled my 133 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: husband aside to talk to him. I let him talk. 134 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: She got up setting was crying. Then she got out 135 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: right and she started pointing her finger forcefully in my 136 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: husband's head. Not damn because his brother found you in 137 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: bed with another man, or because he found you in 138 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: bed and the other man was his damn brother. And 139 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: I've got starting up to starting to put it together 140 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: for myself here now, Shirley, I didn't get involved. This 141 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: sort of thing happened full more times, and she was 142 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: always upset when she came to the house. I figured 143 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: she must be still suffering from the breakup, so I 144 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: stayed out. And she was something from the breakup because 145 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: your husband was to cause her to break up because 146 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 1: he got caught in his brother's house in that bed. 147 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 1: That's what I believe this letter is really all about. Then, 148 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: earlier this year, my husband got a letter from our 149 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: local child support office. I opened the letter and they 150 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: said he was the father of a baby girl and 151 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: it was listed his brother's baby's mama as the mother. 152 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: I started snooper through his drawers and I found DNA 153 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: test result hidding in a cigar box. That's what really, 154 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 1: Why is you putting this in a cigar box? You 155 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: put this in a cigar box. Trop see now people 156 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: like me, ass got tight. Now my ass tight because 157 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,239 Speaker 1: it's in a cigar box. Immediately I go to myself 158 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: and how many cigar boxes I got. I can't think 159 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: of what important I him put in the damn cigar 160 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: box in about you? Anyway, this woman, misterily had a 161 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 1: baby and I had no idea she was pregnant. Oh. 162 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 1: I sent a picture to DNA results to my husband's 163 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: brother and he responded that he's known about them for 164 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: three years because he caught them in the act. It 165 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: was his brother that he walked in and saw in 166 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 1: the bed with his woman three years ago. She stayed 167 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: away and had this baby, but every time she came over. 168 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: She was mad at him. I felt so lost and stupid. 169 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: They daughter two years old. This woman wants my kids 170 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: to meet their sister, and she wants to clear the 171 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: ad with me. Should I forgive her and move on 172 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: and keep it? Knowing her father where you can't forgive her? 173 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: But this is the most confusing mess. I really ain't 174 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: got nothing for her, no more healthful um. And my 175 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: biggest thing right here, I don't know what is we 176 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 1: finn to call these kids, because he not even if 177 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: they meet. What is we finn to call these kids 178 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: right here? Mama's these are cousins, Mama's, these are brothers 179 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 1: and sisters. Know they're not It's they our aunts. No, no, baby, 180 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: they're not your aunts. It's these are cousins in laws? 181 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: No they not? What is they? Mama is? These are 182 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: nothing lost? This this about nothing lost? Mama? What is 183 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: we gonna call these damn kids? Your husband slept with 184 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: his brothers, baby, Mama, the brother caught them. You found 185 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: the DNA report. Send it to his brother to say, hey, 186 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,319 Speaker 1: on this DNA report, this is listing my husband who 187 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: is your brother, as the daddy of your baby, Mama's baby. 188 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: He ain't surprised because he knows all about it. So 189 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: what kind of help she want? She I really thought 190 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: it was two different men. But she says she felt 191 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: so lost and stupid that yeah, she should feel that way. 192 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: I think it's son. What's going on in front of 193 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: her eyes? Why are we held? Who do you trust 194 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: in this story? You can't trust your brother in law? Yeah, 195 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: he held to the code with his brother, and she 196 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,839 Speaker 1: nobody told you nothing right? And then she's she's considering 197 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 1: forgiving this woman and moving and moving on, or to 198 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: keep ignoring her forever. That's her issue, not none of this. Sure, 199 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: what you said made since you could forgive a cause. 200 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. But to 201 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: forgive don't mean to forget. Right, You don't have to 202 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,719 Speaker 1: set yourself back up in the line of fire just 203 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: because you forgave somebody. Yes, Tommy, I see you. Can't 204 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 1: you forgive as you walking out to do with all 205 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: your stuff? Can't you forgiving getting your car and driving you? 206 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: She can keep ignoring her forever. What I'm not fit 207 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: to do is sit here and deal with this mess. Now. 208 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: The kids are gonna have to know each other eventually, 209 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: because that's the baby. All right, we gotta go, Please leave, 210 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: all right, Look, leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 211 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: on Instagram, Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry 212 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand, Sports with Junior coming up next. 213 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to The Stave Harvey Morning 214 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: Show