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Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: If we could only record the pre chat and the

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Speaker 2: post chat, that would just be that's the money maker

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Speaker 2: because you just go you can say it. Actually it's

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Speaker 2: kind of funny.

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Speaker 3: Well not that part, but okay, I go, well, it's

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Speaker 3: with Jana Kramer and friend Kat says you're the boss

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Speaker 3: to Jana and I said yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: I go yep, which is true.

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Speaker 1: But you just don't usually don't ever do like skirt

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Speaker 1: around it.

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Speaker 4: Well, no, yeah, today we are and friends yep.

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Speaker 2: Glad to be here. Yeah, but then he said, but

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Speaker 2: what's his face? Still has his?

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Speaker 4: I won't say it.

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Speaker 2: We get so many messages all the time. Why is like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know why either. Actually going on there, quick

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Speaker 2: check up before our amazing guest joins the show. You

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Speaker 2: can say hi though, Jason, come in.

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Speaker 5: How it is great to be here, Oh Jason.

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Speaker 2: We're so happy to have the house.

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Speaker 5: Very true.

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Speaker 4: I like that we are house.

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Speaker 2: We are so excited to have Jason Waller on the

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Speaker 2: show with us. And we're going to get into it.

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Speaker 2: But how is everyone's easter.

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Speaker 5: Good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was tiring, it was great.

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Speaker 4: Speaking of Tyran.

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Speaker 2: Did you make everybody happy in your family. We'll see

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Speaker 2: we showed up.

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Speaker 3: Okay, revisiting therapy and cat will know the real truth

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Speaker 3: of Easter.

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Speaker 1: It's fine.

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Speaker 2: Did you divorce your husband?

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Speaker 3: I made it through three days of Disney at thirty

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Speaker 3: weeks pregnant, forty one years old.

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Speaker 4: I just want high five nights.

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Speaker 5: That's very impressive, that's incredible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, fun you guys.

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Speaker 3: My ankles were so swollen at the end of the day.

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Speaker 3: I felt like I almost got one of those motorized carts.

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Speaker 3: But I felt like there's somebody that needed it more

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Speaker 3: than me. It was really something, but we did it.

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Speaker 3: The happiest place on earth is my bathtub. But my

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Speaker 3: kids had the best play.

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Speaker 2: You can have that you can do a bath with

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Speaker 2: the baby.

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Speaker 3: I mean I have been, Okay, I guess third time.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's just like when you get to the third y're just.

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Speaker 2: I thought you couldn't have a bath with a baby, so.

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Speaker 3: I always I never took bats with the other I

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Speaker 3: think it's past a certain point.

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Speaker 2: Maybe, Okay, I don't.

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Speaker 3: We're going to find out because everyone will write to you.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no. I just know they will.

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Speaker 3: On Instagram, they'll write to me, all the obi's will

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Speaker 3: come out, the secret ob listeners will come out.

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Speaker 4: It's fine, it's fine.

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Speaker 2: How was your Easter? Well, he has risen. Indeed, he

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Speaker 2: has risen. Indeed, it was great. We went over to

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Speaker 2: Sarah Bryce's house. We had church. It was lovely. I

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Speaker 2: wasn't supposed to have the kids, but it was awesome.

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Speaker 2: Mix let me have them. And it was like the

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Speaker 2: best weekend ever. And uh it got out there They're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: seemingly Alan has met the kids because Jolie. We took

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Speaker 2: Jolie to a soccer game, but like all supposed to

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Speaker 2: photo of Alan and then and then like the photo

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Speaker 2: and then so, yes, he's met the kids.

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Speaker 3: And Alan's not going to be where soccer is anyway,

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Speaker 3: I know, right.

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Speaker 2: But it went great and the kids love him and

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Speaker 2: it's been awesome. Good yeah, yeah, good, Okay, David.

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Speaker 1: I know now.

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Speaker 5: Easter it was fantastic. We actually went to church on Saturday,

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Speaker 5: so we had the whole Sunday off and we were

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Speaker 5: outside for the first time like all day, eight hours.

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Speaker 5: We had two water balloon flights. We went through I

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Speaker 5: think like four hundred and fifty water balloons and just

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Speaker 5: this was like just acted like a kid and we

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Speaker 5: just had the best time a couple of e strike

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Speaker 5: hunts and spent time with the kids and the wife

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Speaker 5: and just relaxed.

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Speaker 2: You've been married for how many years now?

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, coming up on ten. Our anniversary's ten,

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Speaker 5: twelve thirteen.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so coming to Ashley.

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Speaker 2: Ashley, we have two babies.

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Speaker 5: Two babies. I got Delilah who is five, and Wyatt

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Speaker 5: who is geez almost two two in June.

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Speaker 3: So that's really been something. Yeah, two year old boys

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Speaker 3: or something.

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Speaker 5: Yes, it is. He's in that phase right now where

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Speaker 5: it's he wants to do everything and if you don't

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Speaker 5: let him, he he just loses. So it's it's it's interesting.

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Speaker 5: It's a process and I'm learning slowly, but surely that's

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Speaker 5: for sure.

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Speaker 3: Right around two is when I felt like legend and

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Speaker 3: I needed our own couples counselor So I'm going to

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Speaker 3: talk to your wife and you just moved here from California.

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Speaker 5: Yes, we just got here almost a year ago to date,

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Speaker 5: moved from Laguna Beach and absolutely living it out here.

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Speaker 5: You know, we came out here to slow our lives

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Speaker 5: down and just you know, to get out of the

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Speaker 5: rift draft of southern California, and we had.

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Speaker 4: The Laguna Beach is just horrible.

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Speaker 5: It's beautiful, but it's really it's different, well it's different

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Speaker 5: than it is. I mean, it's a great place, the

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Speaker 5: best childhood I ever had, but honestly, it's just it's

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Speaker 5: just different and it's not the way that I had

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Speaker 5: grown up. I mean, just when we moved here, Just

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Speaker 5: to put it into perspective, this hasn't happened in twenty

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Speaker 5: plus years since I lived there. Within the first twenty

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Speaker 5: four hours of us moving into our house, three little

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Speaker 5: girls came and knocked on our door and asked my

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Speaker 5: daughter to come out and play. And like, that's kind

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Speaker 5: of one of those things where I looked at my

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Speaker 5: wife and I was like, we made the right decision

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Speaker 5: and just kind of have that more wholesome vibe. And again,

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Speaker 5: as I go back, I got twenty two family members

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Speaker 5: that still live in from Laguna to Coasta Mesa, so

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Speaker 5: I'm there often. But I just if we were going

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Speaker 5: to do it, we thought the time was now. The

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Speaker 5: kids were young. We weren't going to uproot them. If

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Speaker 5: we didn't like it, you know, we could move back.

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Speaker 5: But also some little bit of backstory or history to

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Speaker 5: this is my grandfather actually grew up off of Moors

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Speaker 5: Lane in Brentwood.

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Speaker 4: I grew up on Moors Lane.

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Speaker 5: Let's go, oh my cash. Yeah, and then my whole

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Speaker 5: my mom was born in Memphis, and then I got

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Speaker 5: three I think three generations or four generations from Tennessee

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Speaker 5: on my mom's side.

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Speaker 4: So so it feels rooted.

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Speaker 2: Is anyone still here though right now or no?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? So I have great aunts and uncles who live

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Speaker 5: up by Tim's Ford. I have some family in Clarksville

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Speaker 5: kind of like scattered around, but yeah, just a few relatives.

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Speaker 3: It is very cozy here. People love on each other.

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Speaker 5: It is The people are incredible. I mean, I didn't know.

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Speaker 5: I'll never forget the drive when I was coming out here.

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Speaker 5: So Ashley and the kids and mother in law, they

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Speaker 5: all flew out here, and I remember driving with me

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Speaker 5: and my dog. It was a little trailer behind like

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Speaker 5: with our personal stuff, and I was like going through

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Speaker 5: New Mexico, I'm like what am I doing? Like it

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Speaker 5: was just like that real like we're just kind of

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Speaker 5: broke down and like, dude, I'm literally leaving it and

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Speaker 5: it disdn't hit me until then. But honestly, I was

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Speaker 5: just asked the other day, you know what I do.

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Speaker 5: I want to move back, and I really don't. It's

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Speaker 5: almost a grieving process because that's all I've known for

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Speaker 5: thirty five years was Orange County.

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Speaker 2: Is there a piece of you because of everything that

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Speaker 2: you went through? Is does that piece hold on to

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Speaker 2: not wanting to go back because of like who you

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Speaker 2: were there?

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Speaker 5: That's a great question.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 5: I think I've done so much work on myself that

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Speaker 5: I've really processed and gone through that where I'm really

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Speaker 5: comfortable with where I'm at, like physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

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Speaker 5: And I think through all that work, it's a lot

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Speaker 5: to me the opportunity to make a decision to actually

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Speaker 5: be at a place to be like, hey, let's get

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Speaker 5: up and move because I never thought that would be

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Speaker 5: a part of the process. But that's just a testimony

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Speaker 5: of when you put in the hard work, what can

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Speaker 5: really come to fruition. Because if I didn't do the

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Speaker 5: work I did on myself, I wouldn't never have left there.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting too, because one of our friends had

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Speaker 2: said this, some of the most healing work that she's

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Speaker 2: ever done was going back to the places that broke

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Speaker 2: her the most, and also realizing like who you are today,

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Speaker 2: Like so when you go back, you have to be

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Speaker 2: so proud of who you are versus how you were then.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I did. Ah. I was on a interview yesterday

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Speaker 5: and to look at, you know, a kid that was

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Speaker 5: struggling severely with addiction, was very lost and just in

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Speaker 5: a in a really deep dark place. I mean, my

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Speaker 5: addiction drove me not to contemplation, but attempting suicide. And

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Speaker 5: just you know, I grew up you have to understand,

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Speaker 5: I think, putting that into context, I grew up this happy,

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Speaker 5: outgoing kid who loved surfing, skateboarding, snowboarding, was always outdoors

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Speaker 5: and a depth of my addiction, it was me by myself,

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Speaker 5: you know, in a room, and so it was a

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Speaker 5: very lonely, miserable place. And so to be able to

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Speaker 5: kind of pause and process through all the treatment centers

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Speaker 5: I went through, through all the trials and tribulations with

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Speaker 5: the law and just my own internal battles with the

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Speaker 5: people I hurt. All this stuff, there was a lot there.

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Speaker 5: I always joke like, I'm going to be making amends

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Speaker 5: for the rest of my life, just because of all

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Speaker 5: the destruction I did, but to actually really be honest

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Speaker 5: with myself, like I'm so proud of where I am

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Speaker 5: at today, like to be able to look in the

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Speaker 5: mirror and to be happy with what I see. I'm

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Speaker 5: comfortable in my own skin. And for years and years,

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Speaker 5: I never was in that spot. And you know, after

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Speaker 5: doing so much work, I was able to actually identify

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Speaker 5: that I struggled with addiction and alcoholism way before I

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Speaker 5: ever picked up the drink or the drug, and that

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Speaker 5: you know, twelve or thirteen years old, I had struggled

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Speaker 5: severely with OCD to the point where I'd washed my

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Speaker 5: hands till they would bleed, and I'd have to wear

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Speaker 5: deopren gloves at night, and I'd have to put you know,

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Speaker 5: put them in with niaspoorne in them to let my

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Speaker 5: hands heal. But on the outside, so that was what

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Speaker 5: was going on behind closed doors. But on the outside,

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Speaker 5: I was the popular kid. I was always good at

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Speaker 5: sports and kind of had to live this double life,

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Speaker 5: which ultimately led me to you know, even with seeing

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Speaker 5: psychiatrists and therapist and having really good support, I got

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Speaker 5: a much more alleviation from substances, and it was That's

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Speaker 5: what I was using as my solution, was alcohol, right

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Speaker 5: to take away that pain and what I had felt,

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Speaker 5: even though I was seeing doctors. And but again at

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Speaker 5: twelve thirteen, how are you able to, you know, not

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Speaker 5: knowing what we know today, how you able to try

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Speaker 5: to process that type of stuff at that age? And

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Speaker 5: so I never was able to get really fully open

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Speaker 5: and honest. And so it's been a journey.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's for those people that don't know the journey.

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Speaker 2: How long were you an active addiction?

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Speaker 5: Oh God, I'd say I really started struggling about sixteen

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Speaker 5: or seventeen years old, and then it that when the

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Speaker 5: show started, I was shortly thereafter. So I think I

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Speaker 5: started filming probably when I was like seventeen, Laguna Beach,

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Speaker 5: and then it went from sixteen to I mean bad

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Speaker 5: until twenty three. Was able to get sober July twenty third,

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Speaker 5: twenty ten, had five years of sobriety, and then went

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Speaker 5: out on pharmaceutical synthetic grade meth aka adderall and that

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Speaker 5: took me down really, really bad, to the point of

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Speaker 5: where on and off it wasn't like a three year

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Speaker 5: benders like I'd have a few months sober. I just

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Speaker 5: wasn't willing to get open and honest. But that landed

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Speaker 5: me at the first floor in Hook Hospital Detox. You want,

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Speaker 5: Ashley was giving birth to Delilah on the third or

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Speaker 5: fourth floor, and.

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Speaker 2: So I saw that in our video that we did

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Speaker 2: and that was like, as when you look back now,

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Speaker 2: I mean, now you can show your daughter, Okay, this

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Speaker 2: is you know your daddy is healthier, But is there

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Speaker 2: a piece of view that struggles with that knowing that

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Speaker 2: you weren't there for your wife in that moment.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a very.

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Speaker 2: Like how do you make amends with that with yourself?

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Speaker 5: I guess or I mean forgiveness is one of the

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Speaker 5: most powerful tools, right and I can't hold onto those

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Speaker 5: types of things. I have to. I believe your greatest

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Speaker 5: setbacks so the greatest opportunity for your comeback. And you

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Speaker 5: know it's looking it's so crazy to think that your

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Speaker 5: biggest deficits are your greatest assets, and like that is

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Speaker 5: a big motivating factor. Like even though I was physically there,

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Speaker 5: literally went from the first floor up the elevator to

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Speaker 5: watch my daughter be born. But you and that's how cunning,

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Speaker 5: baffling and powerful addiction is. You'd think that would be

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Speaker 5: enough to stop. But I didn't actively arrest the disease

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Speaker 5: or get stabilized right. I was in detox for two days.

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Speaker 5: I went home with the family and back at it

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Speaker 5: again four or five days later. And it was about

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Speaker 5: a six month on and off process where I actually

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Speaker 5: was finally intervened on and I had to go back

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Speaker 5: into treatment. I mean, I did the full thing that

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Speaker 5: I needed to do.

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Speaker 2: Is that when it was over, did you still go

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Speaker 2: back again?

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Speaker 5: That was when it was really over. That was kind

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Speaker 5: of the real surrender. And then kind of the to

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Speaker 5: give you the full scope of everything is right after that,

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Speaker 5: like a little bit long, like probably I don't know.

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Speaker 5: Nine months down the road, the Hills came back and

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Speaker 5: there's an opportunity to come back on television and again,

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Speaker 5: as I thought, this would be a really good opportunity

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Speaker 5: to share our story. And I think by expressing vulnerability

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Speaker 5: at creates humility and it allows an opportunity for people

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Speaker 5: to connect. And actually had her own story and I

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Speaker 5: had my story, and I thought this would be really powerful.

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Speaker 5: But it was a huge decision because we're like, we

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Speaker 5: love our life where it's at. We want to really

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Speaker 5: go and do this, but I believe that it was

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Speaker 5: kind of God's opportunity from being who I used to

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Speaker 5: be to show how much I had changed. Because even

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Speaker 5: that relapse and stuff happened, I don't discredit all the

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Speaker 5: work that I've done. I was a different person still,

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Speaker 5: and I think that was just a part of that journey.

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Speaker 5: And so I ended up experiencing just a lot of

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Speaker 5: a lot of my own stuff came up again, insecurities,

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Speaker 5: I was overweight, you know, and just going back on television,

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Speaker 5: it was just, you know, just image, right, self image

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Speaker 5: was just kind of something I was struggling with. And

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Speaker 5: so we were already shooting and then that stuff started

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Speaker 5: to percolate. I did not reach out to not talk

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Speaker 5: to anybody, and I'd taken a pill I drank, and

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Speaker 5: then I called doctor Drew and got open and honest.

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Speaker 5: And so that was a huge difference, Right. I'm not

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Speaker 5: justifying my me doing that, but I have the tools

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Speaker 5: and the resources. I should have reached out to somebody

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Speaker 5: way before I ever picked up. And because a relapse

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Speaker 5: manifest way before you're actually picking it up, it's like

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Speaker 5: the dominoes falling. And so at that point I got

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Speaker 5: open and honest, and I started talking about it right

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Speaker 5: away because I did not want it to go down

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Speaker 5: that road, and so it was I call it a lapse,

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Speaker 5: if you will. If that didn't happen, i'd have over

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Speaker 5: five years, But I have three years of sobriety now,

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Speaker 5: and that was the last time that that had ever happened.

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Speaker 2: When they say in what the meetings, like, you realize

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Speaker 2: your life became has become unmanageable. You basically got intervened.

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Speaker 2: So a lot of times when they say, like, interventions

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Speaker 2: don't work because you're not ready yet, right, So was

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Speaker 2: there a moment where you're like, what made your life

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Speaker 2: go okay, it's unmanageable? Like obviously because it's like what

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Speaker 2: the people were saying to you in the intervention. Or

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Speaker 2: was it just like because I've been told that his

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Speaker 2: interventions don't work that well because they're not ready yet.

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Speaker 5: It's every different strokes different folks, right, And I think

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Speaker 5: if you have the right team and the right support,

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Speaker 5: I think you can really help navigate that into getting

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Speaker 5: people and guiding them because a lot of people that

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Speaker 5: are in those states are literally at a place so

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Speaker 5: they've lost the right to make their own decisions, so

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Speaker 5: they don't even know what's right or not. So I'll

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Speaker 5: share with you what really when I call my entering

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Speaker 5: into recovery was back in twenty ten, because you have

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Speaker 5: to remember, had everything society says amazing, whether it's notoriety, fame, access,

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Speaker 5: all these different things, and you know, I hated life.

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Speaker 5: I mean I tried taking my own life. And I'll

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Speaker 5: never forget the moment, which I call my moment of clarity,

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Speaker 5: when I was sitting in a therapist's office just like

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Speaker 5: this with my mom and dad. My mom and dad

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Speaker 5: looked across from me. This is We've done this a

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Speaker 5: hundred of times. There was nothing that was unique about this,

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Speaker 5: but there was something happened here. My dad just looked

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Speaker 5: at me, and I've never seen him breakdown besides when

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Speaker 5: his mom had passed away, and he just looks across

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Speaker 5: and he goes, Jason, we don't know what to do anymore.

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Speaker 5: You know, our marriage is suffering. The family is just

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Speaker 5: a complete that we were totally lost, and Mom and

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Speaker 5: I weigh Mom and I lay in bed like two

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Speaker 5: planks of wood, waiting for the phone call that you're dead.

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Speaker 5: And whatever that was, there was something that came very

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Speaker 5: clear to me, and that became my motivating factor. Is like,

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Speaker 5: I didn't care enough about myself to want to do

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Speaker 5: it before I taking my life, and so it's kind

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Speaker 5: of like what else is there to look for? But

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Speaker 5: thank God for the family dynamic that I had had

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Speaker 5: and the parents that I had had growing up in

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Speaker 5: just that sense of respect, and they became my motivating factor.

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Speaker 5: And so that was the moment where I really transitioned.

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Speaker 5: And then, you know, months down the road, after I'd

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Speaker 5: committed myself, I was open, I was willing, I was

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Speaker 5: willing to take direction. I got honest. You know, after

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Speaker 5: my life started to change. About six months down the road,

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Speaker 5: I really saw that this was something I wanted to

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Speaker 5: do for myself. And that's where my real journey started.

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Speaker 5: And so every situation is different, Every situation is unique.

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Speaker 5: There is not a one size fits all model and

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Speaker 5: it's a very individualized process. And so like again, is

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Speaker 5: how I got there maybe different than how you would

362
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Speaker 5: have gotten there, right, And so it's taking that into

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Speaker 5: account and looking at people's background, their history, their you know,

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Speaker 5: the environment and the things that had happened to them

365
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Speaker 5: as their pre genetic disposition there's so many different things

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Speaker 5: that can go into effect with it.

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Speaker 2: And well you kind of said too like a lot

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Speaker 2: of times people are like great childhood, the wounds and

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Speaker 2: the trauma, but sounds like you had a great childhood too,

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Speaker 2: So it's like, well, then, why why did this happen?

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Speaker 2: Or how did I do this? Or like trying to

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Speaker 2: find that like why I must have been frustrating too.

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Speaker 5: Well, I'm Cherokee, German and Irish. I should have had

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Speaker 5: a stamp on the wound when saying this kid cannot

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Speaker 5: use anything, but no, they're the pre genetic disposition of

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Speaker 5: my family is half my family struggles with addiction in

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Speaker 5: our mental health. So it's like again, as I had,

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Speaker 5: that's what's I didn't have any of that crazy childhood

379
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Speaker 5: trauma or you know, the environmental stuff like I had

380
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Speaker 5: a very if anything, I had a very amazing childhood.

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Speaker 5: And so it's where it wasn't really didn't line up,

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Speaker 5: but struggling with the mental health and stuff that that's

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Speaker 5: now where it makes a clear picture is that was

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Speaker 5: kind of outside the context and through doctor Amen, who

385
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Speaker 5: I am starting to work with now, I had found

386
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Speaker 5: out that I had had potentially had pandas, which is

387
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Speaker 5: basically a PDA. I forget the acronym of what it is,

388
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 5: which I should know that, but it's basically caused by

389
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,199
Speaker 5: strep throat, which is a piece that actually will attack

390
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Speaker 5: a part of your brain that can trigger OCD. And

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Speaker 5: had I known that a long time ago, who knows

392
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Speaker 5: what have kind of would have happened. But it's it's

393
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Speaker 5: crazy to kind of see how I went down and

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Speaker 5: navigated that wrote as a young adolescent.

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Speaker 3: So when you're young, and I'm glad you mentioned your parents,

396
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Speaker 3: because I was. That was one of my questions, like

397
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Speaker 3: where were they in all of this and how active

398
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Speaker 3: were they and when, like when was the first time

399
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Speaker 3: that they noticed anything like the hand washing all the things.

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Speaker 5: My parents are very involved. So I mean my mom likes,

401
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 5: right when she saw me, she saw my hands and

402
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Speaker 5: she's like, what the what's because I'd go like this

403
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Speaker 5: and they'd just crack and they'd just bleed and stuff,

404
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,639
Speaker 5: and so she's a she's psychiatrist. I mean, they were

405
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Speaker 5: part of that whole process. And I mean I started

406
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Speaker 5: seeing somebody at twelve thirteen years old, whenever it was

407
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Speaker 5: that timeframe when I was in there and they did

408
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Speaker 5: everything that they possibly couldn't what they were equipped with,

409
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Speaker 5: and they were along that ride in that process, and

410
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Speaker 5: you know, and I was even a part of it.

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Speaker 5: And that's how close we were. At sixteen, sixteen and

412
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Speaker 5: a half years old, when I went to Provo, Utah

413
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Speaker 5: to wilderness camp into a boarding school. I was wasn't

414
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Speaker 5: like I was kidnapped in the middle of the night.

415
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Speaker 5: I mean I made that decision with them, like hey,

416
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Speaker 5: I'm kind of going down the wrong road, like let's

417
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 5: course correct this. But after being out there for a

418
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Speaker 5: little bit of time, I was able to manipulate my

419
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Speaker 5: way back and being like, yeah, this ain't the right fit,

420
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Speaker 5: let's get back. And so and that's where they struggled,

421
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Speaker 5: is they you know, wherever there's an alcoholic or an addict,

422
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Speaker 5: there's a codependent and sometimes are just as sick, if

423
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Speaker 5: not sicker. And my parents were really harming me in

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Speaker 5: areas when they thought they were doing good, like not

425
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Speaker 5: to their own acre. They you know, they didn't have

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Speaker 5: the knowledge, and so when they were they were throwing

427
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Speaker 5: pillows when I really should have fallen in certain areas,

428
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Speaker 5: and that progressively got worse. But also then fast forwarding through,

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Speaker 5: you know, going on television. It's like at eighteen years old,

430
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Speaker 5: when you're the most impressionable and the most impulsive, like

431
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Speaker 5: and you're an adult, there's only so much control they have, right,

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Speaker 5: and so we had instant success. And so like usually

433
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Speaker 5: what your parents have some type of financial restraint on

434
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Speaker 5: you to a degree if you're going to college or

435
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 5: different things, they can kind of, you know, manage that process.

436
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 5: And it was like either join me or ziya. Yeah,

437
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Speaker 5: and so that's kind of how you know, they just

438
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 5: I respected them, but I was also I was super

439
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,679
Speaker 5: super super sick, and all I cared about was the

440
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 5: next drink and the next drug.

441
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 2: When you talked about amends in the show, is there

442
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 2: anyone did you have to have amends with a lot

443
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 2: of people from the show?

444
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I made amends. I wish I could talk to

445
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 5: you about something that we all just did, but I

446
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 5: can't right now. There's something there's something cool coming out,

447
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 5: but I can't say anything about it. But I've made

448
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 5: amends to say every girlfriend on the show's there was

449
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 5: a few.

450
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 2: Few, were there any that didn't accept the amends?

451
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 5: I think the thing that people don't realize is like

452
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 5: when I was the drunkenrol when I was drinking and stuff.

453
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 5: That's that's what That's what it was. But also I

454
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 5: think when I was sober. When I was sober, people

455
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 5: got to see who I really was so and I

456
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,359
Speaker 5: don't think the media or the viewers of the show's

457
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 5: ever got to see that other side. And so I

458
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,159
Speaker 5: think even like when I've reconnected with like Kristen and

459
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 5: Steven and all the people that I have over these

460
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 5: last few years are just like, God, this is the

461
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 5: guy that we knew, you know what I mean, it

462
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 5: was just you were lost and and so I think

463
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 5: that the short answers know that they were just they're

464
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 5: really happy and proud to see where I'm at today.

465
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 5: And I think, honestly they're more surprised and shocked how

466
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,880
Speaker 5: much I've changed because it was pretty bad.

467
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,199
Speaker 3: Well it's also twenty years ago, right, almost twenty Like,

468
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 3: I mean.

469
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 5: You're started, Yeah, I'm thirty six now.

470
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 3: I mean it's they've all changed too, Yeah, yes, yes,

471
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 3: a lot of grace, I would assume, Yes, everyone's growing journey.

472
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 2: I think that with the amens too. I think it's

473
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: a beautiful thing because it's not like you're like I've

474
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 2: had to make amends with certain people, and I've even

475
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 2: said to them, I'm not asking for you to say

476
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,160
Speaker 2: it's okay, or I forgive you or any of those things.

477
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 2: I'm just telling you, like you know that I'm sorry

478
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 2: I handle this wrong, that was wrong with me. No

479
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: excuses are made. And you know, the person that I

480
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 2: did do this too a couple of months ago, they're like,

481
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 2: it's okay.

482
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 5: I'm like, no, no, it's not okay, you know, but no,

483
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 5: it's take it's keeping your side of the street clean, right,

484
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 5: and it's taking ownership and accountability. And I love I

485
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 5: mean the way that I approach amends is most identical

486
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 5: to that is I take full ownership and accountability for

487
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 5: what I did. I'm not justifying my actions, but whatever

488
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,160
Speaker 5: I can do to make it right and better, please

489
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 5: let me know, you know. And it's it's sometimes and

490
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 5: I've had trust me over the course of time. There's people.

491
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 5: Not everybody's responded as gracefully. Some people just are like thanks,

492
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 5: but no thanks, you know. But I'd say more so

493
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 5: than not, people have been very receptive to it. But

494
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 5: for me and my process and my recovery program, it's

495
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 5: just keeping my side of this streakly and I have

496
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 5: no control or I can't have an expectation on the

497
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 5: outcome of it. That's not why I'm doing it. It's

498
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 5: really to do the work and to make things right.

499
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 2: So right now, you're very which I love. That's how

500
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 2: because we met at Jason and I met at an

501
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 2: airport in LA and we ended up talking the entire flight,

502
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 2: like the only time I ever took a middle seat, right,

503
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 2: Cat ye yeah, Kin's like, oh yeah, I get the window.

504
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, we're here reading a book while they

505
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 5: talk it all the time.

506
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: But it was so nice just to connect with someone

507
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 2: who was so open and vulnerable, and I loved hearing

508
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 2: your story and getting to know you. And since that flight,

509
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 2: I've been able to be a part of some of

510
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 2: the stuff that you're doing with mental health, and I

511
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 2: just I love what you're doing, and I appreciate what

512
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: you're doing because you're helping a lot of people and

513
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: you're going to help even more with the doctor, amen

514
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 2: and everything else that you're doing. But you know, because

515
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 2: you are still in recovery right every day is a

516
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 2: new day, and it's something that you have to continue

517
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: to work on. Is there a piece where sometimes you

518
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 2: feel like what sometimes makes you feel like, oh my god,

519
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm slipping a little bit, and like,

520
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: how do you kind of stay back on track?

521
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 5: Great question. I love that I've developed and built a

522
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 5: program by looking at it from structure and consistency creates safety.

523
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 5: And I think if you have kids that you can

524
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 5: you can kind of look at that as the same

525
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 5: thing when a kid's on routine, he wakes up as

526
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 5: his morning breakfast, he has his nappy, he's usually typically

527
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 5: pretty good, and the same thing with adults. And so

528
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 5: I've incorporated that within my life. And so to answer

529
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 5: your first question, is having that connection with myself when

530
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 5: I'm getting overwhelmed or when I'm stressed, being able to

531
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 5: identify and what that looks like. I always believe it's

532
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 5: I live like a triple A modality. It's awareness, acceptance,

533
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 5: in action. If I'm not aware of what's going on,

534
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 5: I can't accept it. If I can't accept it, I

535
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 5: can't take action. And so it's recovery for me. It's

536
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 5: a daily routine, right, and so in the morning, I

537
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 5: wake up, I do a morning meditation, I read the Bible,

538
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 5: I read a daily devotion, I do a gratitude list

539
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 5: of three things I'm grateful for, but not only what,

540
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 5: but why, because that's where really the meat lies. And

541
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 5: then I do some form of exercise, whether it's going

542
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 5: to the gym, whether it's take my dog for a run.

543
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 5: But I get outside, I get some son, I get that.

544
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 5: That's kind of how I always start my morning. And

545
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 5: then sometimes I would incorporate that with I have Bible

546
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 5: City that I do, or I'll go to meetings, and

547
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 5: then I go about my day. And then at the

548
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 5: end of the day, which I think is one of

549
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 5: the most important things that I've done, is I do

550
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 5: an inventory, kind of like what we're talking about with

551
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 5: making amends. I do that with myself. I do a

552
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 5: check in. I'm like, hey, where did things go right,

553
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 5: and where did things go wrong? And what do I

554
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 5: need to do to clean up If there's anything that

555
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 5: I did that I need to take ownership for clean

556
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 5: that up, but also acknowledge the successes that I did

557
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 5: and the achievements that I made for the day, because

558
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 5: oftentimes I think we overlook that and giving myself kudos,

559
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 5: But what that does is allot to me an opportunity

560
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 5: of a fresh morning that next morning, and so I

561
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 5: think that's what is key is especially with addiction, there's

562
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 5: a big difference between being abstinence of drugs and alcohol

563
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 5: versus living a life and recovery. And it's one thing

564
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 5: just just to white knuckle it and be a part

565
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 5: of that process. But there's a difference when you're working

566
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 5: in programming. It doesn't mean I'm perfect. No, I still

567
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 5: have my moments. I still outlash and stuff like that.

568
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 5: But I have a support system. I still go to therapy.

569
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 5: I've done this for years now on a weekly basis.

570
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 5: I still see a therapist. I'm plugged into a church.

571
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 5: I have three or four guys that hold me accountable.

572
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 5: I have my Bible study that I can be totally

573
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 5: open and connect with. And like coming in here, like

574
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 5: even saw me deep. You're like taking deep breaths. It's

575
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 5: just because this week's been overwhelming and so like I come.

576
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 5: I know, like breathing really helps. It's just stuff that

577
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 5: I've done over the course of time. It's funny that

578
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 5: people will pick up on it, but it's just how

579
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 5: I operate now, you know, And and it's communicating about that,

580
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 5: you know, Like when it's just coming in. It's I

581
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 5: try not to like when people ask like how's it going,

582
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 5: It's like I try to really say, like what's going on,

583
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 5: as opposed like I'm good, I'm great, family is amazing,

584
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 5: it's like been overwhelming, you know, like and life's very

585
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 5: full right now and I'm very grateful. But that's I

586
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 5: think it's the communication factor is is huge and detrimental.

587
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 5: The thing that kept me sick for so long was dishonesty.

588
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 5: That was with myself, not only with people around me,

589
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 5: but I was the person I was hurting most was

590
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 5: me and again as I still fall short. But you know,

591
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 5: I think today is is I take ownership in that,

592
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 5: and I know I love the life I have today

593
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 5: and so like I want that, I want to continue that.

594
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 5: I didn't love the life I had for many years

595
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 5: and people on the outside people be like, god, I

596
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 5: want that life potentially, not when I was getting arrested

597
00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 5: in all these other things of that.

598
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a hard when that was happy.

599
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna lie the by products prior to that

600
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 5: or even as you know, in just growing up, like

601
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 5: when I was young, twelve thirteen, fourteen years old, I

602
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 5: just remember people like you have a great life, like

603
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 5: you don't know. It goes on the en closed stories.

604
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 5: And I think that's the other piece too, is is

605
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 5: everybody struggling with something. And let's say, one of the

606
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 5: biggest things to my recovery is service is giving back.

607
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 5: I try to do a lot of giving back.

608
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 3: So Ashley, does Ashley also seek support because I know

609
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 3: it takes a village to help an addict in recovery.

610
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 5: Yes, so Ashley, actually she does, and she was instrumental

611
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 5: in me getting the help that I needed. And again

612
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 5: that goes back to one of the questions you were

613
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 5: talking about before, is like what was you know, what

614
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 5: took place in that intervention and is people setting boundaries

615
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 5: and and her being able to take care of herself

616
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 5: because she got so sick in her own ways with

617
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,959
Speaker 5: codependency and enabling that she had lost sight of who

618
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 5: she was. I mean she literally will tell you she like,

619
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 5: I didn't know what color I liked. I mean, I

620
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 5: didn't know what food I like. I mean that's how

621
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 5: her her Her addiction was my addiction. She was like

622
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 5: addicted to the addict. And so yes, she again weekly therapy,

623
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 5: does groups. She's actually now running and is the face

624
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 5: of the Family Recovery Foundation, which is for people that

625
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 5: are directly impacted by the disease of addiction. So it's

626
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 5: a clinically led support group, so it's clinicians that are

627
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 5: there to bring oversight and add value to people that

628
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 5: were in her shoes. And so she runs out on

629
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 5: a weekly basis, and she's really she's actually really like

630
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 5: trying to make a push in that area. I'd say

631
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 5: that's one area that's deficient in the recovery community, is

632
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 5: for those that are directly impacted. And I'm supporting her

633
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 5: in that from a legacy piece. For me is because

634
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 5: when I was struggling, I had all the resources at

635
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 5: all these people, all these places to go and you know,

636
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 5: and keep in mind, I'm Ashley as a newborn. There's

637
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 5: you know, all the things prior to leading up to that.

638
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 5: I mean, she was putting her head on my heart

639
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 5: every single night to see if I was still breathing.

640
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 5: My heart was beating, like all these things that I

641
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 5: don't witness, plus the verbal abuse and just the thing

642
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 5: that go along with addiction. And it's like I come

643
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 5: out and it's like, yeah, you're supposed to be good

644
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 5: ready for me to come home, and it's like that's

645
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 5: just not the case. They had to endure so much

646
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,239
Speaker 5: and there's so many people that are affected by all

647
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 5: of that that there's not enough being done because it's

648
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 5: one thing again, there's great like on site which is

649
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 5: here in Tennessee, a great program and stuff like that,

650
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 5: but one is a lot of people can't afford that,

651
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 5: Or two is what are you doing for continuation after that? Right?

652
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 5: And I think alan On and Code of Meetings are

653
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 5: all really good, but how can you kind of boost

654
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 5: that on a steroid level with like I think adding

655
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 5: a therapist, right and getting some clinical oversight, And so

656
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 5: I'm hoping that that will kind of take off. And

657
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 5: that's what her envision is is because she's like, there's

658
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,719
Speaker 5: so many people that just are left to their own

659
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 5: devices with this, and it's just not fair.

660
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 3: So my dad was addicted my whole life. And I'll

661
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 3: try to detach so I don't get emotional, but my

662
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 3: mom was like wildly codependent and like an enabler, and

663
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 3: he passed away a year ago July.

664
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 4: Trying trying, we do.

665
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 6: But I've watched her try to untangle for like the

666
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 6: last like year and a half and it's a mess,

667
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 6: like she never got the apology, Like I'm.

668
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 4: Really really proud of you.

669
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 6: I'm proud of you for your kids and for Ashley

670
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 6: that you can do the things you're doing because a

671
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 6: lot of people like I'm an adult child of an alcoholic,

672
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 6: I never got the apology. I traumatic childhood inconsistency I

673
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 6: never got, I never got the mends, I never got

674
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 6: the ownership or any of that. And for what you're

675
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 6: doing for your family and for the family cycle, and

676
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 6: then for y'all to be pouring into community, like I mean,

677
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 6: I was sitting to Alan on meetings and I'm like, yeah,

678
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 6: this is like fine.

679
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 4: But like there's no meat to this.

680
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 3: There's no like there's nobody there, like really, it's amazing,

681
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, and I'm not. It is a

682
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 3: resource that's awesome, but it's just not rich enough. It's

683
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 3: once a week. It feels like.

684
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 4: You leave feeling less alone, which is I.

685
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,239
Speaker 2: Think when when I used to go to ask An,

686
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 2: there's the cross having no cross talk. I need someone

687
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: to talk to like you're just like you just say it,

688
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 2: but then there's no support and then I beave and

689
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I feel worse than when I walked in,

690
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 2: and my mom is like barely untangling, Like we're talking

691
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: forty years of just chaos, and I'm watching her start

692
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 2: to like pull it apart. But it is like solow

693
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: and and there is a piece where the person that

694
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: did this isn't available to be talked to or any

695
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 2: of that. So, like, you just need to know how

696
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 2: huge and wonderful everything you're doing for your family, for yourself, everything,

697
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: Like I know you know it probably, but like you

698
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: don't see the ownership is everything.

699
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 4: For your people.

700
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 5: Sorry to hear that, Thank you for sharing that your life.

701
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 6: I'm like listening to you, and I'm like, God, what

702
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 6: a different life it would have been. You know, someone

703
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 6: like you was like my dad, which is awkward because

704
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 6: you're younger than me, but you know, I know.

705
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 5: But but again, as I think it's so important that

706
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 5: we talk about this, Yeah, I think that's a lot

707
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 5: of it is, and there's but there's so many This

708
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 5: isn't going anywhere, right, I mean, mental health and addiction

709
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 5: has just been on a steady incline over the last

710
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 5: twenty years, and I mean, what is it going to

711
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 5: take for for a change, and a shift to happen.

712
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 5: And I think it's it starts with communication. It starts

713
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 5: about having the conversation and being open like this because

714
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 5: there's millions, not two thousands and not one hundreds, it's

715
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 5: millions of people that are in your shoes, in my

716
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 5: shoes and that are going through this today.

717
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 4: And so there's a million Ashleys, like.

718
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 5: Millions more, there's more because wherever's going like now.

719
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to love you like you were an a

720
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: pool of day ago.

721
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 5: You know, it's hard, but I think he's like this

722
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 5: to bring that cause like alan On is a tremendous resource.

723
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 5: But again it's it's it's it's a piece, it's a piece,

724
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 5: but there's it's there's what Ashley and what we're trying

725
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 5: to bring together for that is really another tool in

726
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 5: the toolkit, right is if allan On works you phenomenal,

727
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 5: we love it. That's what helped ask you tremendously. But

728
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 5: she was looking at how can I even add to that?

729
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 5: And so again from cross talk and being able to

730
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 5: have that insight, but even having a clinical oversight and

731
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 5: actually having takeaways that are tangible from a professional.

732
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 2: So Catherine were going to say then well, I's going

733
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 2: to say to you.

734
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously we have a similar story as well.

735
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: But I think for us, with our parents the generation,

736
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: they didn't talk about it, they didn't communicate.

737
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 5: You know.

738
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: So I know that we also my mother's still alive

739
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: and we have that issue, but the communication is not

740
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: like this.

741
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 3: Well, and my grandfather was an alcoholic, so it was

742
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: genetic and it was what she learned to live with.

743
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: And you either marry one become one is the statistic

744
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 3: that leads that. So her emotional bandwidth for it was

745
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 3: it's so comfortable to her, which is crazy, but it's

746
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 3: true because it's unhealthy.

747
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 4: But she saw it. Have you gotten in the.

748
00:33:59,280 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: Mends from your mom?

749
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: She would say yes, she would say yes, for sure,

750
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: you know, but no, not really, not really.

751
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 2: What would you want or need say?

752
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: That's that's the that's the that's the part that's hard

753
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: for me because I don't long for that like you do.

754
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: My brothers do. I think I think that they've they've

755
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 1: handled it very differently. I was kind of the one

756
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: where I'm like, I just don't even want to like,

757
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 1: I'll take it, I'll take your you know whatever apology

758
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: and just like move over here. I just kind of

759
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: compartmentalized it, put it over here. But I also don't

760
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: know that she has the capacity to apologize in the

761
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: right way. Yeah, she doesn't have the tools that you know,

762
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: she truly didn't and doesn't you know. And I think

763
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: that it's a different generation. Very not that that's an excuse,

764
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: but I do. I think people are doing the things

765
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 1: that you're doing and paying attention and are getting honest

766
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,240
Speaker 1: and you know, and I don't think she's at that place.

767
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 1: I don't think she's fully ever gotten honest with their So.

768
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, we don't have a lot of ownership going on.

769
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 4: So no, not really either.

770
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: But again not again, it's not an excuse, but it

771
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: just feels so generational. I think we're just more open

772
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: to it now, we're talking about it more now, people are.

773
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 4: More aware of it.

774
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 1: But not to switch gears. But I do have a

775
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 1: question kind of in regards to that, like, since it

776
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: is genetic, have you all had conversations about your own

777
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 1: children and like what that can possibly look like in

778
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: the future, because that's tough.

779
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 5: Yes, and so we are very aware of that. When

780
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 5: we had conversations probably even a couple of years ago,

781
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 5: around this and how we're going to navigate this and

782
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 5: corporate the communication with our kids because you know, they

783
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 5: got a fifty to fifty chance of having it having it,

784
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 5: like I mean pretty severely. This based on my genetic

785
00:35:55,600 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 5: makeup and the background and the history, and so we

786
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 5: were already We're already starting the conversation with Delilah around

787
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 5: mental health. And again is what I like for every morning,

788
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 5: Like we start at she's five years old, and so

789
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 5: we wake up and we do a gratitude list. We

790
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 5: do through things that she's grateful for and why, and

791
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 5: I do that with her.

792
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 1: And I was thinking about that when you said that.

793
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna do that with my kids.

794
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 4: I love that.

795
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 5: And so I mean, but we made it up, like

796
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,280
Speaker 5: we made it a cool process where she lights candles

797
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 5: and it's kind of this experience where she looks forward

798
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 5: to doing to you know, doing it, and when we

799
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 5: don't do it, she's like, Dad, we didn't do our

800
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 5: gratitude lists. And so it's just starting to incorporate these

801
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 5: little behaviors and then just even when she's really upset,

802
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 5: getting on her level, getting you know, literally physically getting

803
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 5: on my knees and just talking to her at her

804
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 5: level and just understanding and kind of walking through these

805
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 5: processes because you know, we had to just we had

806
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 5: the shooting that just happened, and it was too close

807
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 5: figuratively and literally, I mean it was it was twelve

808
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 5: minutes from our house and it was this same age

809
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 5: as our kids. And to have to sit down and

810
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 5: have that conversation with Delilah, you know that that you know,

811
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 5: not only is there you know, trainings and or you

812
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 5: know you're enough you know, for for tornadoes and for

813
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 5: earthquakes and and things like that, but now there's you know,

814
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 5: for we got to use the term like bad, bad

815
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 5: people that can come on to campus and and that

816
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 5: you know that can you know, for an active shooter

817
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 5: type of thing. And it's like how you how do

818
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 5: you break that down? Again, Ashley was instrumental in that

819
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 5: process and and and how we did that. But it's

820
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 5: having that conversation, and I think what we're really trying

821
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 5: to do is create a really safe place for them

822
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 5: to come to to talk and communicate. And you know,

823
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 5: because there's pretty fascinating statistics that are out there. I mean,

824
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 5: if you're if you don't drink or use drugs or

825
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 5: any mood altering substances by the age of twenty one,

826
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 5: even ninety percent chance of never struggling with addiction. And so.

827
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 3: My husband is that Preacher's kid never drank, really never

828
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 3: did anything. Still has never done a drug in his life.

829
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: He's forty eight.

830
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, insane.

831
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 5: But I think just kind of looking at some of

832
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 5: those things and just really trying to make and show

833
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 5: and leveraging the knowledge that we have today, right because

834
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 5: I also think that where there's a default from like

835
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 5: the baby boomers and some of the older demographic because

836
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 5: they really didn't even know how to process or share

837
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 5: what was really going on. They weren't there, just weren't

838
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 5: equipped with it. And so I think we're in a

839
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 5: different time now, but it's it's being present, and I

840
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 5: think the best thing we can do is being there

841
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 5: for our kids and to know that they can trust us,

842
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 5: they have a safe place to come to, and that

843
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 5: they have support.

844
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 3: Like literally, I can die happy knowing like that's what

845
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 3: I've done with my kids, Like that is like that

846
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 3: has been my goal since I could understand what the

847
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 3: goal was. Yeah, it just matters. It is I'm not

848
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 3: going to nail it. I'm not trying to be perfect,

849
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 3: but just the breaking of the cycle. And it's not

850
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 3: lost on me that my daughter and I were do

851
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 3: a day apart ended up being two days apart. Like

852
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 3: God is just really the hand and the poetic ability

853
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 3: of all of that is just never lost on me.

854
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 5: So good.

855
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 2: The statistics that you were sharing with me too fascinated

856
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 2: me with the binge drinking that's going on in our

857
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 2: age right now, isn't it. Can you lay some of

858
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 2: those stats out well?

859
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 5: Actually coming here, That's why we did the PSA. We

860
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 5: actually did a public service announcement around this, but moving

861
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 5: to Tennessee that the number one health crisis in the

862
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 5: state of Tennessee has beinge drinking.

863
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 2: And so when we age our age like the right,

864
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: isn't it like thirties, forties, fifties.

865
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 5: I'm not sure about that piece, But I think the

866
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 5: thing that you're talking about is the leading cause of

867
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 5: death in America for fifty old individuals and younger is

868
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,439
Speaker 5: substance abuse. So I mean, it's literally the leading cause

869
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 5: of death. And so when you look at this, that's

870
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, it's not going anywhere. And I mean

871
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 5: prior to I'll give you. You know what the craziest

872
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 5: thing is is prior to COVID, somebody was overdosing at

873
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 5: the rate of of every eleven minutes. You know what

874
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 5: it is today one every ninety seconds.

875
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 3: Mmm.

876
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 2: So do you think that's because of fetanyl too?

877
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 5: It's yeah, I mean that that adds to it. But

878
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 5: it's it's again, is like I even asked the question

879
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 5: and start the conversation. Is you know, we talk about

880
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 5: how much fentanyl and how much opiates and how much

881
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 5: you know, how many drugs are coming into the into

882
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 5: the to the States. My question is is why is

883
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 5: there such a high demand?

884
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 4: Mmm?

885
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 5: Like, Okay, it's one, yeah, we understand that, but why

886
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 5: are so many people wanting to do it? Like why

887
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 5: are they so disconnected?

888
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 4: Like it's a business.

889
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 5: Well no, but like why are some men wanting to

890
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 5: do a state? Right?

891
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 4: I mean like you don't have you don't have a business.

892
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 4: If you do, client, well that's.

893
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 5: My place exactly. But being in a very sober state,

894
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 5: I mean not my younger self, but now it's like

895
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 5: I would never want to partake in any of that stuff.

896
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 5: I'd be you know, I mean if I ever had

897
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 5: the thought of a beer sounds good or something like.

898
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 5: Of course that thought comes and goes, and it's how

899
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 5: I process. And that's and and again it's it's it's fleeting.

900
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 5: It comes and goes. But like just looking at what

901
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 5: is out there today, and like you know, with with

902
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 5: opiates and the it's just like I can't I can't

903
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 5: imagine like if the landscape has changed, is what I'm

904
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 5: getting at. I mean, it's you were younger. It wasn't

905
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 5: like we're going to take something and we were going

906
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 5: to die. Right.

907
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 2: Well, here's the here's the thing that so I've never

908
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 2: I've never touched a drug because I've always been afraid

909
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 2: that I'm gonna die. Right, But back then you wouldn't

910
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 2: like it's unless you like overdosed, right, But like now

911
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 2: I'm like to my kids, if you even try the

912
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 2: small you could you will die, like most likely it's

913
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: a freaking fentanyl. Like that's where I'm place with something. Yeah,

914
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,359
Speaker 2: that's why I'm like that piece. I'm like, just don't

915
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 2: do it.

916
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it's crazy, you know, it's just really it's

917
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 5: the world we live in is different today, and it's

918
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,359
Speaker 5: just that's why I'm saying, like it's just you look

919
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 5: at like, what are why are there such a high

920
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 5: demand for these types of things that are that are

921
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:40,720
Speaker 5: out there? It's really alarming.

922
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: Do I.

923
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: One of the things that you know, like you're saying

924
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 2: right now, with everyone you know wanting to the drugs

925
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,399
Speaker 2: and stuff, I just wish there was an easier reach

926
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 2: for people to be able to have therapy because I

927
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 2: think that's an issue to a lot of people are like,

928
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 2: well I can't afford it, and it's like, oh, like

929
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 2: what therapy has done for all of us in this

930
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 2: room has been amazing. It's helped with so much. That's

931
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:06,919
Speaker 2: the piece where I'm like, why, I just wish there's

932
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 2: something we can do And I know you do that

933
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: right with what you're working on right now.

934
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, And well, I mean that's I think the more

935
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,879
Speaker 5: that we can get behind that, we can get more

936
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 5: people supporting that effort is important. Like that's the stuff

937
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 5: that I'm doing and working with doctor Amen at the

938
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 5: Change your Brain Foundation is we're trying to have it

939
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 5: be more accessible for people to actually get scans of

940
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 5: their brains. And I think the thing that really that

941
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,720
Speaker 5: I love around this and it's even changing the narrative

942
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 5: of how we look at mental health, right, and we've

943
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 5: been treating mental health the same way we have for

944
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 5: the last one hundred and fifty years. We've been clustering

945
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 5: a bunch of symptoms and throwing medication at it, when

946
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 5: in reality, we know the organ that's directly impacted, So

947
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 5: why are we not focusing on it? And that's being

948
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 5: the brain. And through spect imaging where you can actually

949
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 5: see the deficiencies through where people have less blood flow

950
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 5: through their brain, you can actually see what may be

951
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 5: causing or triggering different things. And so I think the

952
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 5: more that we provide access and we can actually get

953
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 5: to the core root cause of this, it's going to

954
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 5: help us be able to treat further and further and

955
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 5: have better treatment plans for these types of things. But

956
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 5: I think you know, from the stuff that we're doing

957
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 5: at doctor Aman allowing people to actually get brain scans

958
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 5: of what's going on within their brain to see what's

959
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 5: going on, and then being able to set them up

960
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 5: with appropriate therapists and psychiatrist to be able to come

961
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 5: up with an effective treatment plan, I mean, we need

962
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,839
Speaker 5: to make that more readily available for people. It's it's

963
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 5: it's it's it's it's time.

964
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 4: It's literally the only way that I've been able to

965
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 4: do anything.

966
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

967
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, Three things you're grateful for to end this on

968
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:37,280
Speaker 2: a happier note.

969
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I'm grateful for my sobriety. I'm grateful

970
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 5: for our relationship with God, and I'm grateful that I'm

971
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 5: able to be present today.

972
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, Jason, we're so happy that you came on

973
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: the show. Thank you for again doing what you do.

974
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: And I'm proud to be your friend and I'm happy to,

975
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: you know, to watch you do everything you're doing and

976
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 2: join forces with you. So thanks for coming on the show.

977
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 5: Thank you guys for having me.

978
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 4: Thank you