Speaker 1: Look, may Oh, I see you and look over there
Speaker 1: is that culture. Yes, lost culture ding Dong, lost culturist.
Speaker 1: This is a brand new space and I really had
Speaker 1: to orient myself.
Speaker 2: This is it. It's very sunset Bulevard, those people out
Speaker 2: there in the Vard. Yeah, it's very I love that
Speaker 2: for you too. And Vanessa's character is auditioning for to
Speaker 2: be a QVC tvc host. You know what I just
Speaker 2: realized about you. They'd be so lucky to have you
Speaker 2: go to QVC. No, don't even why do you why
Speaker 2: you would?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I said you could sell products on television live. It
Speaker 2: is a hard job and it is kind of too.
Speaker 2: It's like in cased in amber, that kind of television.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like time, like seeing Stacy Rush do
Speaker 2: it from the real House of the Potomac. M be
Speaker 2: a QVC legend. I go, this is so comforting. These
Speaker 2: women are selling some of the ugliest jeggings you've ever seen.
Speaker 4: Juwel tone jegging that comes with a bracelet and it's
Speaker 4: like a christ bracelet. It's like, what I love about
Speaker 4: these jewel tone jeggings is I can feel confident and
Speaker 4: sexy while also staying a Christian woman. Yeah, and I'm
Speaker 4: a Christian woman while I also you get you know,
Speaker 4: I'm fun.
Speaker 2: And that's one thing at home that I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people are thinking. And I know there's a
Speaker 2: lot of good Christians out there, is can I still
Speaker 2: be fun? Wow? Now these are flying off the shelves.
Speaker 2: We've we've already sold twelve these are these are really sellings.
Speaker 4: And we only have fifteen. And so that's why I'm
Speaker 4: saying this is And that's how I know there's a
Speaker 4: lot of great Christians out there.
Speaker 2: And this isn't a gang, but this is. And can
Speaker 2: I just say we were just doing it? You know
Speaker 2: we were You were doing it? No, you I was.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry? Am I blind it doing it? You were
Speaker 2: doing it? I like threw a penny in the fountain,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? I didn't, I didn't fully.
Speaker 3: You threw a rhymestone.
Speaker 2: Wow, a jewel tone, a jewel ton ran so speaking,
Speaker 2: I mean writer performers then up legend by the way,
Speaker 2: like we're sitting here, we're just thrilled because this has
Speaker 2: been a long time been a long time coming. This
Speaker 2: is someone who has seen us bomb and gravel and
Speaker 2: just be among not bomb. We've we've bombed. I've never
Speaker 2: seen you bomb. I don't know if I don't know
Speaker 2: if when have we never seen you? True?
Speaker 3: No, I truly I would not say that. I would
Speaker 3: honestly say I'm sure.
Speaker 2: I had Union Hall sweats in front of you at
Speaker 2: some point while you were in the back, being like
Speaker 2: Union Hall sweats. Is that something we'd call it? It's
Speaker 2: a union Oh? I felt many Union Hall sweats. I
Speaker 2: guess I crushed at Union Hall every time.
Speaker 4: You've never never has only felt the Union Hall shoulder
Speaker 4: shake one off stage killed them people.
Speaker 2: I was bombing so hard. I turned around to the
Speaker 2: lady who's hanging on the wall, and I said she
Speaker 2: was Mary Todd Lincoln. But that's not who that lady is.
Speaker 2: But you know what I mean, you might as well
Speaker 2: be married to Miss Hall, Miss Hall.
Speaker 4: And but listen, this voice that you're hearing, if you're
Speaker 4: listening to this at home, is one of our pals.
Speaker 2: It's been a long time coming. The mother Load is
Speaker 2: the special. Honestly, it is funny every single second, which
Speaker 2: dare I say. You can't say even about stand up specials,
Speaker 2: most of them. This is not any piece of comedy,
Speaker 2: any piece of comedy like come see us at Union
Speaker 2: Hall ten years ago. You get a few chuckles in,
Speaker 2: they're going to chuckles and that's it. She's self directed
Speaker 2: it which we need to talk about love. That's fucking
Speaker 2: so fun, so cool of you. I need we need
Speaker 2: to ask you about this. She's on the Harmless Lady tour.
Speaker 2: By the time this comes out, she will have Edmonton,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Baltimore than Edmonton and Sacramento. Shut up. I
Speaker 2: can't believe it.
Speaker 3: You know, you know my tour date.
Speaker 2: I know your date.
Speaker 3: I don't know the dates. Well, it's up from I
Speaker 3: mean the cities into the cities. I think Cleveland is
Speaker 3: in there.
Speaker 2: Cleveland's in there. I think by the time this comes out.
Speaker 2: But yeah, Cleveland from the future. Go see Yeah.
Speaker 4: And you just really really feel shame about this because
Speaker 4: the fact is this is one of the greats. Please
Speaker 4: welcome into your ears, Rosebud Baker. I'm so excited when
Speaker 4: I saw you at SNL the other night, at the
Speaker 4: overwhelming joy I felt. And it wasn't just because Lady
Speaker 4: Gaga was in the building. It was because Rose the
Speaker 4: fuck it.
Speaker 3: Every time I see you at SNL, I get like
Speaker 3: I get excited. And it's not just because somebody from
Speaker 3: outside of the.
Speaker 2: Building is in the building.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, sweats where you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: somebody somebody humanity.
Speaker 2: Does you feel Have we talked about this? It feels
Speaker 2: a little bit both violatory and exhilarating when like people
Speaker 2: from the outside world like yeah, me yes.
Speaker 3: And it's it's odd because obviously love my husband, hate
Speaker 3: bringing him to the party, really hate. I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm a babysitting. He doesn't operate with this is the problem.
Speaker 3: He doesn't operate with the same level of paranoia that
Speaker 3: I have to operate at. So I walk around after
Speaker 3: him just being like, what do you say to them?
Speaker 2: Right to them? It's like knowing where the land mines
Speaker 2: are in the battle.
Speaker 3: Yes, and He'll be like they were fine, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: but what face did they?
Speaker 2: Right? I now just pictured Andy just walking into a
Speaker 2: battlefield and it was It made me laugh. He's a
Speaker 2: funny guy. Funny guy he is.
Speaker 3: He's he is a Redwood.
Speaker 4: Honestly, bts for people that that that we're not here
Speaker 4: for the conversation. Prior to us recording, I saw Redwood
Speaker 4: last night. The Dina Menzel Tree Musical. We're calling it
Speaker 4: Tree Dina.
Speaker 2: Here's what I'll say. I loved watching her in the tree,
Speaker 2: and I loved how much joy she was feeling doing
Speaker 2: the musical. And that is where I will end. That's
Speaker 2: what people say to me every week after an SNL show. You,
Speaker 2: I like you so much, so much fun in this guy.
Speaker 2: And that's that's what a comedy show should be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what's important.
Speaker 2: You bring us joy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and and and you're happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have no idea what I've been through. Yeah,
Speaker 2: But anyway, this special is so good.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for watching it. I truly whenever
Speaker 3: when I start already doing it, when I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do a special about like becoming a
Speaker 3: mom and what that feels like, I was like, this
Speaker 3: feels a little bit like walking into an open grave
Speaker 3: because everybody, no one cares. No one cares. Whenever I
Speaker 3: bring up motherhood, I feel like I just was like,
Speaker 3: are you guys into rollerblading? Everybody just looks at me
Speaker 3: like if you are, I guess you know. So I
Speaker 3: tried to make it a special that felt like whether
Speaker 3: you had had kids didn't have kids. It was funny
Speaker 3: and you could enjoy it, and so I feel like
Speaker 3: I succeeded.
Speaker 2: It just feels like you the entire time.
Speaker 4: It doesn't feel like this is my special on motherhood
Speaker 4: or becoming a mother. It's feels like this is Rosebud's special, right,
Speaker 4: And I love that.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: It's it's great. You really are one of the best
Speaker 4: joke writers out there. No, I'm it's it's for real.
Speaker 4: I mean like it's just great to say people like
Speaker 4: actually put jokes in.
Speaker 2: And a comedy piece period.
Speaker 3: What feels and what's important to is that you're happy
Speaker 3: and you had fun.
Speaker 2: You were having fun up and you're having fun up.
Speaker 4: There was the choice to shoot I guess you shot
Speaker 4: it twice, yes, once eight months.
Speaker 3: So I shot two separate hours, right. It was like
Speaker 3: I shot the first hour when I was eight months pregnant.
Speaker 3: I waited a year. I took the jokes from that
Speaker 3: hour and I kind of like built on them based
Speaker 3: on my experience after having had the baby, right, and
Speaker 3: then shot a second half of it a year after
Speaker 3: having the baby and combined the two into one special.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: It was really fun to do, honestly, I mean it
Speaker 3: was terrifying.
Speaker 2: And crazy.
Speaker 3: When I look back at it, I'm like, that was
Speaker 3: insane of me. Only somebody who's like living with the
Speaker 3: fear of being kicked out of the industry it would
Speaker 3: do something like this. No, truly, I like that is
Speaker 3: what I look at it, and I'm like that was
Speaker 3: what was motivating me. I was like, I have to
Speaker 3: keep working, you know, like like this is going to
Speaker 3: feed her, you know.
Speaker 2: So, oh I hear you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I was like I was working my ass off,
Speaker 3: But it was really when I look back at it,
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's so I do feel like and I
Speaker 3: feel like a loser saying it. I'm like, it does
Speaker 3: feel like it's so me, And so when I look
Speaker 3: at it, I'm like, I'm proud of it. It doesn't
Speaker 3: feel like something where I was trying to like impress,
Speaker 3: you know, middle aged men, which when I watch my
Speaker 3: first special, I'm like, Okay, I see what you were
Speaker 3: doing there. You were trying to like get the respect
Speaker 3: of the comics and get that, you know, And now
Speaker 3: I watch this and I go that was that was
Speaker 3: like one hundred percent me and just trying to like
Speaker 3: make something that I was proud of, you know.
Speaker 2: And like you shouldn't even like rate yourself retroactively on
Speaker 2: the first special because we went through that phase. We're
Speaker 2: probably still going through that phase of like, I guess
Speaker 2: it should appeal to a general audience, which means inevitably
Speaker 2: like people that aren't like me exactly.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, let me sort of traffic in this thing
Speaker 4: that I don't necessarily believe in and also am not
Speaker 4: so that I can get across this thing that may.
Speaker 2: Do better as a result. Right, But then you find
Speaker 2: out it's a complicated thing. But it's like, no, just
Speaker 2: be yourself. That's what's gonnnect with people. And yes, that
Speaker 2: connects you with your fans, but it still doesn't really
Speaker 2: work in the industry. Yeah, there still will ask.
Speaker 3: It's like you can build your own fan base, and
Speaker 3: it's like the industry is still like, well, what.
Speaker 2: About the men in Ohio?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: I forgot about them because I don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't care. I don't want them, I don't even care.
Speaker 3: Like it surprised me that men did like the special
Speaker 3: like straight guys did. Like it was a little disappointing,
Speaker 3: but I was like, okay, I'll take the win. I
Speaker 3: was like, okay, but it did feel like I guess
Speaker 3: that's just what happens, like when you are you, it doesn't.
Speaker 3: Then that's all you want. You just want to get
Speaker 3: on stage and not have to just get over that
Speaker 3: hump of like explaining who you are in the context
Speaker 3: of the rest of the world for the joke to land.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you know what I mean? Well, because it's
Speaker 2: it's that thing. And I'm rolling my eyes as I
Speaker 2: say this out loud. It's like you're being so specific
Speaker 2: that it feels universal, right, like like the guy in
Speaker 2: Ohio can appreciate, like as a husband getting post part
Speaker 2: of anxiety like Andy did or something.
Speaker 3: Ye know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, which I didn't even know could happen either. I
Speaker 2: didn't know it could happen, but then obviously.
Speaker 4: It made sense, like it is his child. And it's
Speaker 4: like if you if you're someone who can rum in
Speaker 4: it on the idea of like this is a thing that.
Speaker 2: Wasn't alive a little bit ago, right, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 3: Yes, And You're like and the whole time, it's funny
Speaker 3: because I have like a traumatic reaction to like sickness.
Speaker 3: I'll be like, she's not sick, he's not sick, And
Speaker 3: then Andy you'll be like, but she is, but she is,
Speaker 3: And it actually turns out to really be perfect because
Speaker 3: Jill called the doctor on stuff where I'm like, I
Speaker 3: don't think we need to be concerned about that because
Speaker 3: that could be a nightmare for me emotionally and terrifying
Speaker 3: and for her. And sometimes I'm like, thank god, you're paranoid,
Speaker 3: because yeah, sure, you know.
Speaker 2: It's a checks and balances. Yeah. Do you think that that?
Speaker 4: Because also in especially you talk about how you guys
Speaker 4: were raised very differently like you like you'd make a
Speaker 4: joke about like your dad throwing you like a football
Speaker 4: into like a lake and being like that's how you
Speaker 4: swim and then jumping in and saving you and being like.
Speaker 2: You saved your life a guy. Yeah, and whereas like
Speaker 2: you know, split.
Speaker 4: Into loving your father yeah right yeah, and he's from Seattle,
Speaker 4: from a more like I guess, liberal progressive yeah situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you think that that has informed you as parents,
Speaker 2: even if you're like growing up being like that, there's
Speaker 2: no way, there's no way I'm not going to throw
Speaker 2: my kid in the water.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, one hundred percent, because I'll be like I
Speaker 3: remember him coming home with minno and and he was like,
Speaker 3: I think she has a dairy allergy. And I remember
Speaker 3: my reaction going, no, she doesn't.
Speaker 2: That's not those don't exist, even fully aware they do.
Speaker 2: But your parent jumps out.
Speaker 3: I literally was like, no, right, not an option. And
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't look into it. I didn't ask
Speaker 3: him why he thought that.
Speaker 2: Even I just.
Speaker 3: Went neath, it's not now brand new gut, yeah, brand
Speaker 3: new gut.
Speaker 2: You can't ergy this way, yes, And we found out.
Speaker 3: Yes, we did not find out. I think I actually
Speaker 3: on that one, he was like, you might be right
Speaker 3: about this.
Speaker 2: You want yeah, complacency want, yes, but.
Speaker 3: We will hopefully we we should just get it checked out. Honestly,
Speaker 3: looking at it now, I'm like, you probably should just
Speaker 3: take a look.
Speaker 2: The gunkles say check it out. That it reminds me
Speaker 2: of this other joke you have about your mom, like
Speaker 2: talking about like getting you getting blood transfusion when you
Speaker 2: were an infant at a time when kids were getting
Speaker 2: aids from Yes, the transfusion, yes, and you being like,
Speaker 2: well did I have it? And then she's like, well,
Speaker 2: we never got a check because it would have ruined
Speaker 2: your social.
Speaker 3: Life right in first grade. I'm like, literally first grade
Speaker 3: I think she was like, you could have.
Speaker 2: You could have.
Speaker 3: We just never found out. And the doctor said it
Speaker 3: would be bad for your social life. I was like, no,
Speaker 3: he didn't the wasp doctor. Yeah, it was like absolutely not.
Speaker 3: And it's funny too because my mom, like the Pokemon
Speaker 3: evolution of my mother is like going from like Republican
Speaker 3: wife to like real divorcee who like paints in Maine. Yes,
Speaker 3: and she she is now very liberal in a way
Speaker 3: that you're kind of like, Okay, you're overshooting.
Speaker 2: She's overshooting.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, she's painting a Ukrainian flag in her
Speaker 3: in her garage, and she's like, look at this, look
Speaker 3: at what I did with a big sunflower in the
Speaker 3: middle of it. You're like, cool, you are dis rediscovery good. Yeah, no,
Speaker 3: that's good for you, you know.
Speaker 2: But then, does do you feel her brain in your
Speaker 2: head and in this moment of parenthood, I do? I
Speaker 2: you know, that's a really good question.
Speaker 3: I feel like my dad's parenting had more of an
Speaker 3: effect even though I was with my mom. So I mean,
Speaker 3: I think the artistic side of me is all my mother,
Speaker 3: Like she's a painter. Her whole side of the family
Speaker 3: is like all like writers, painters, you know, photographers, and
Speaker 3: and my sister is in the art gallery world. She
Speaker 3: works and art and so I and my other sister's
Speaker 3: a musician. So it's all like we're all very much that. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But my dad, maybe it was like the absence of him,
Speaker 3: right that made his presence like more of a or
Speaker 3: maybe just genetically, I I'm that's where it comes from.
Speaker 4: Do you think maybe like the absence of him made
Speaker 4: you fixate on him more and therefore like his parenting,
Speaker 4: like was it's the searching for that or the wanting
Speaker 4: that that makes it Like I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just like I look at it and I go
Speaker 3: he was. He was like a fucked up guy. And
Speaker 3: when I think about it, I'm like, he's kind of
Speaker 3: the reason I'm funny, you know. I Like when I
Speaker 3: think about my dad making fun of people jogging, I'm
Speaker 3: like that, like that's my sense of human.
Speaker 2: Was your comedic influence? Yes, yeah, yeah, they do tend
Speaker 2: to be that. Yeah, my dad. I don't know my dad.
Speaker 4: I feel like we probably had similar dads my dad
Speaker 4: Long Island.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's kind of like I was listening to
Speaker 3: the episode with Sarah when you were talking about how
Speaker 3: he drew him asking for a bah.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, peanut, get me, I mean yeah. And all
Speaker 4: my mom could say was I love you. It's not funny.
Speaker 3: Did he make him?
Speaker 2: Did he make you walk on his back when his
Speaker 2: back hurt? You know what?
Speaker 4: You know what's crazy. I used to make people do that.
Speaker 4: I used to make study do that. Study was walking on.
Speaker 2: My back all of college. And now I'm like, did
Speaker 2: I get that from my dad? I don't think so.
Speaker 2: My dad was just the thing of on my biceps,
Speaker 2: I can lift you to heaven. Oh yeah, like I
Speaker 2: did that. So it was it was a lot of
Speaker 2: other physical stuff. And he used to we used to
Speaker 2: play a game called Crocodile where he was a crocodile
Speaker 2: in the bed and I was like trying. I was
Speaker 2: like a muskrat and he would take me and throw
Speaker 2: me off the bed. Oh yeah, that's the best. That's
Speaker 2: what we do with meno. She loves that. I bet
Speaker 2: that's fun.
Speaker 3: Ye get thrown Yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 2: She really loves it.
Speaker 3: She doesn't do herself now where we'll like grab her,
Speaker 3: we'll throw her into the bed and then we'll say
Speaker 3: boom while she does it. So then she'll climb up
Speaker 3: on the bed and she'll just fall into the pillows and.
Speaker 2: Go boom boom.
Speaker 3: It's very lonely to see to see her do it
Speaker 3: to herself, you.
Speaker 2: Know what though, And the humor form, it's a humor
Speaker 2: she's pratfall. Oh yeah, pratfall queen, big time, big time.
Speaker 2: You've been asked a million times. But with two comedian parents,
Speaker 2: what is what are you likelihood? Do you expect her? How?
Speaker 2: How is she going to spit that out when she
Speaker 2: grows up?
Speaker 3: You know, I have no idea. I genuinely hope for
Speaker 3: her sake that she's not a comic, But I also
Speaker 3: am like, I understand it's my job as a parent
Speaker 3: to nurture whatever, to nurture whatever she wants to do,
Speaker 3: and that is like what I intend to do. And
Speaker 3: if she wants to do comedy, I'm gonna be like great.
Speaker 2: You know then also, you guys are going to be
Speaker 2: there as comics one day watching her sets, and that's
Speaker 2: gonna be really tough, Yeah, because you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: go through a developmental period. Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know what I think is I just just based
Speaker 3: off of her personalities so far, I do think that
Speaker 3: when she if she doesn't like it right away, she's
Speaker 3: gonna be like.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to.
Speaker 3: So it's like, great, let's Gemini Moon, you know, try whatever,
Speaker 3: Try a lot of different things and then see what
Speaker 3: you like.
Speaker 4: By the way, I remember one of the one of
Speaker 4: the times that we hung out at Usnel and Bowen's
Speaker 4: dressing room, you came in and you were crowdsourcing names. Yes,
Speaker 4: there was an era where you were like really looking
Speaker 4: to people to because like narrowed it down.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, and I love Minno. It's like my aunt's nickname.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's just like a cute little homage
Speaker 3: to her.
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's fun to say.
Speaker 4: When I heard we landed there, I was like, I
Speaker 4: don't know if that was even in the ether at
Speaker 4: that time.
Speaker 3: I think I said it to you and Greta.
Speaker 2: You may have, and I think we we did have
Speaker 2: a very positive yeah.
Speaker 3: Because we were. But we were going back and forth
Speaker 3: about the middle name. If you have Minno, then what's
Speaker 3: the middle name, because I was like, what about like Penelope?
Speaker 3: And then we were like that's a little Wes Anderson, Yes,
Speaker 3: now like Penelope, Yeah, yes, wait, what is the middle name?
Speaker 3: It's Baker.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, so I just made it Baker.
Speaker 2: Oh that rocks. Yeah, hands right.
Speaker 3: It feels it kind of feels like Darling. It feels
Speaker 3: a little bit like it could be that or it's
Speaker 3: like a Welterweight from like the nineteen fifties.
Speaker 2: Not heavy, not like we Meno be Hanes. Yeah, is
Speaker 2: the Welterweight? Incredible author? I feel right, that's important feminist work. Yes, producer,
Speaker 2: music producer. One word minnow like Willow Minno, welcome back
Speaker 2: to c Jones. Yes, yes, Meno be Haynes, Meno be Haynes.
Speaker 2: I love it. It's fun. You have my favorite. I
Speaker 2: think my favorite. There's a lot of hard to pick
Speaker 2: a favorite. I think my favorite currently. Joking, the special
Speaker 2: is being a mother in New York is like being
Speaker 2: a gay man in the fifties. You have to hang
Speaker 2: out with people who are like you and it has
Speaker 2: to be in the park. It's like, I don't know
Speaker 2: how anyone does it here. I really don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't go to restaurants.
Speaker 3: You can't go to restaurants, and people talk to you differently,
Speaker 3: like people that you've known your whole life. They talk
Speaker 3: to you differently.
Speaker 2: I was dying at MoMA.
Speaker 4: And it's not even that you are like a gay
Speaker 4: guy too, because we're all calling each other mom mouse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the whole time you're judging each other, you're
Speaker 3: totally judging each other.
Speaker 2: And how do you do it?
Speaker 4: How you like mom friends explicitly that you actually like, Yeah,
Speaker 4: Like what are the challenges, Keavin?
Speaker 3: I have not made a single mom friend. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean I have. I have friends who are moms that
Speaker 3: do comedy, so like comic moms I do get along
Speaker 3: with really well because I'm like, they get it, they understand.
Speaker 3: But it's weird to be a stand up who's a
Speaker 3: mom because you don't really fit in with the other moms, right,
Speaker 3: and you don't fit in with the stand ups and
Speaker 3: you're just kind of like, so stand up comics who
Speaker 3: are moms or parents you kind of understand because you
Speaker 3: really are living like a severed life.
Speaker 2: It's weird to do, yes, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And you've got a crazy job and it's like, I know.
Speaker 3: Andy went to a party last night for the first time.
Speaker 3: He like went to paintball with like a bunch of
Speaker 3: his friends and he came and it felt like something
Speaker 3: like awoke in him. He was like, he goes, I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't think I realized how isolating this is. And
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, he goes, that was the most
Speaker 3: fun I've had in years.
Speaker 2: And I was like, paintball.
Speaker 3: Okay, whatever, whatever floats your boat, babe, should we.
Speaker 2: Should we go bowling or something? We should go to
Speaker 2: paint paint and said now I'm literally now I'm gonna
Speaker 2: actually fixate on paintballing. I went paintballing one and it
Speaker 2: was for a straight guy's bachelor party. And you had
Speaker 2: a blast and I had the best time ever. That
Speaker 2: was a straight guy's bachelorette. Yeah, literally, and it was
Speaker 2: it was like a lot of gay guys. Who was
Speaker 2: one of those New York theater straight guys who has
Speaker 2: a lot of gay friends. So it was like Me, Dave,
Speaker 2: our friend Ryan, et cetera, like all getting was this luke.
Speaker 2: Yes it was, and it was we were all getting
Speaker 2: shot at by straight men.
Speaker 3: But it was like, I've dated so many of those
Speaker 3: like theater straight guys. It's actually embarrassing the personality of
Speaker 3: like a New York cop.
Speaker 2: You're like, what that?
Speaker 3: Well, me and Andy were talking about it like every
Speaker 3: like New York actor who's like a straight man.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: They all have like a bandana as a bracelet, and
Speaker 3: they'll be like, yeah, I'm an actor and they've got
Speaker 3: like a fucking leather jacket on, and they have this
Speaker 3: energy like they throw a cigarette and they fucking spin
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 2: You know what it is. I completely know what it is.
Speaker 2: Like three people. Yeah, damn, you're.
Speaker 3: Like that, and you just want to be like, you
Speaker 3: know you're not act a cop?
Speaker 2: Yeah you yet. Yes, I know you're.
Speaker 3: Living like a blue collar life as an actor kind of,
Speaker 3: but like your hands are soft, right.
Speaker 4: I also think like those guys go through phases too,
Speaker 4: because in college that's when they're the worst because they
Speaker 4: get so much action. Like these girls are so starved
Speaker 4: because it's mostly gay guys and like other other girls.
Speaker 4: And also they're in these programs where they're competing with
Speaker 4: each other anyway. Yeah, so it's already they're in the
Speaker 4: mindset of like only so many of us can get
Speaker 4: a rolls and b fucked. Yes, So it's and those
Speaker 4: guys are absolutely spoiled for choice, yes, and they it's
Speaker 4: it's a different kind of thing.
Speaker 2: They they do grow up and all everyone we've talked
Speaker 2: about has grown up, Yes, but they do in college
Speaker 2: have to send out those signals among their classmates to
Speaker 2: be like, I'm not gay by the way.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, it's just just a subtle signal walk down
Speaker 5: the street yelling I'm not gay by the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I can't the number of guys that I've dated with,
Speaker 3: like Fedoras, and you know, it was really a rough
Speaker 3: time where I wanted. I wanted to be in a
Speaker 3: relationship with another artist because I feel like they get it,
Speaker 3: you know, they get the life that you're living. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but the actors, honey, I.
Speaker 2: Just it's a little too Yeah. The only word is emo.
Speaker 2: How did you meet Andy meet?
Speaker 3: We met at a matchless bar, matchless like years ago.
Speaker 4: And were you ever thinking like it'll be another comedian,
Speaker 4: like straight up stand up comedian or were you kind of.
Speaker 3: Like I did not know who it would be. I
Speaker 3: was just like I had gotten out of a relationship
Speaker 3: with a comic. Yeah, and when I met Andy, I
Speaker 3: was like still with this other comic by the way,
Speaker 3: And then like never really even saw Andy until like
Speaker 3: after that, And I remember like meeting Anne and seeing
Speaker 3: him and him being like a very awkward human being.
Speaker 3: And he told me like we had talked for the
Speaker 3: first time in the day to each other, and he
Speaker 3: was like, I just I pretend he goes sometimes. I like,
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm pretending to be a human being.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you said that, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 3: he was like he said the whole thing about how
Speaker 3: he like talks to himself. He'll be like good blinking andy,
Speaker 3: you know, while he's talking to someone. And so I
Speaker 3: immediately liked him, but not in a way where I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I gotta get fucked, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean, I gotta get this guy who thinks
Speaker 2: about he's gonna absolutely give it every which split me
Speaker 2: in not know, but also you know, not like to
Speaker 2: of yes, Mama.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so yes mama.
Speaker 3: So he I guess I just thought like, no, it's
Speaker 3: not gonna be him, and I did. I called up
Speaker 3: Sydney Washington after I realized I had a crush on
Speaker 3: him no, to be like, do you think I'm okay?
Speaker 3: Do you think I'm doing all right? And because he
Speaker 3: was so outside of Yeah, he's so outside of like
Speaker 3: my type and my what I was like looking for that,
Speaker 3: I was like do you think.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm everything? Okay up here?
Speaker 3: How have I sounded to you? You know? And she
Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is really out of left field,
Speaker 3: but she goes but it makes sense in a weird way,
Speaker 3: and I was like, that's how I feel. And so
Speaker 3: we went on a few dates and then I knew
Speaker 3: I wanted to get married, so I said to him,
Speaker 3: you know, not necessarily to him. I just knew I
Speaker 3: wanted to be married too. So I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: sad news for you. I want to get married. So
Speaker 3: if you don't want to get married, we should just
Speaker 3: start fucking other people. And he was like, well, I
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. I don't want to I
Speaker 3: don't want.
Speaker 2: To fuck other people.
Speaker 3: And so he was like, I'll get married, you know,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you know, not to me necessarily.
Speaker 3: It was a weird conversation to have because you're not
Speaker 3: telling someone like you got to marry me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just have to be like, this is.
Speaker 4: What I want to see my cards on the table,
Speaker 4: here's what I see right, and not even see for
Speaker 4: my future.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm like planning for. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, and at the time did not want kids, just
Speaker 3: really wanted to be like married and fun. I just
Speaker 3: love like a fun married couple travel, travel, and they're
Speaker 3: like they make each other laugh. I really wanted that life.
Speaker 3: I was like, that looks so fun. And so it
Speaker 3: was literally nine months later that he proposed. So you
Speaker 3: know we're both drug addicts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we remember when we got him in Montreal. Yes
Speaker 2: he was flight back.
Speaker 3: He knew we were talking to you the entire time
Speaker 3: about geography.
Speaker 2: No, but yes, he's a map guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a real map guy. Wait, what he loves
Speaker 3: He loves to talk about. Tell him where you're from.
Speaker 3: He will bring up at least three landmarks in your home. Wow,
Speaker 3: he's like, he really is autist. I was going to say,
Speaker 3: is that is that we've never gotten him tested? But
Speaker 3: I'm I'm pretty positive, like based on everything that I've
Speaker 3: read and know about autism that my husband for sure
Speaker 3: hasn't on some you know he's on that spectrum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally for sure.
Speaker 3: Because it's crazy. I mean the way just watching Jeopardy
Speaker 3: next to him, I'm like, well, why aren't you on this?
Speaker 2: Should go on it? He should? I know.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you, like the I've been on the
Speaker 4: celebrity Jeopardy and did well once I figured out what
Speaker 4: how do you do it? Like the clicking of the
Speaker 4: buzzer that's the hardest part. Oh really, yes, as long
Speaker 4: as you get that down, he could win.
Speaker 2: Okay, he could win. I played other idiots like me.
Speaker 2: I just think it's a cool thing.
Speaker 3: Even if we watch even I swear to God, even
Speaker 3: if you put him on Celebrity Jeopardy. He knows every
Speaker 3: like side character, actor's name, yeah, and you know where.
Speaker 3: You're like, how do you even know this? And he's like,
Speaker 3: it's one of the most famous actors in Britain and
Speaker 3: you're like, no, he's not.
Speaker 2: No, he's not. I wonder if who it is now,
Speaker 2: I wonder who it is. It could be he says
Speaker 2: it about everyone. Yeah. How much of it do you absorb?
Speaker 2: Do you do you find that you learn things from him?
Speaker 3: Or are you like I absorber none of it? Like
Speaker 3: I wish I absorbed some of it. It would be
Speaker 3: amazing if I absorb some of it. But it all
Speaker 3: just goes.
Speaker 2: Like like there are people just that are just like that.
Speaker 3: I'm I can't. Yeah, I don't know about you. You
Speaker 3: work at a smell so you can't remember anything.
Speaker 2: Right, My brain is fucking yeah, and.
Speaker 3: You're in entertainment so and also a pisce, so I
Speaker 3: assume your memory is kind of shitty.
Speaker 2: My memory is well good actually no, no, no, it's
Speaker 2: well okay.
Speaker 4: My long term memory is excellent. My short term memory
Speaker 4: is getting worse all the time, and I think it's
Speaker 4: I actually started to freak myself out because I think
Speaker 4: it's about marijuana.
Speaker 2: I also, like all my grandparents have you know, dementia,
Speaker 2: struggled and met their demise to some sort of like
Speaker 2: that type of thing. Oh so I'm now I just
Speaker 2: turned thirty five. I'm now in that phase of like, okay,
Speaker 2: so at what point is something coming for me?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: We were saying it's like algorithmically death really decides at
Speaker 4: like thirty four to thirty five that you're seeing like
Speaker 4: panicky like.
Speaker 2: The middle aged stuff. Yes, it's it's yes, it happens.
Speaker 4: I was thinking about you the other day, like, no,
Speaker 4: because you're thirty four still, but just wait, things change
Speaker 4: on the day.
Speaker 3: It gets way worse in your late thirties.
Speaker 2: Just FYI, what's coming up.
Speaker 3: In the arm I'm getting just pajamas, Yeah, just just pajamas. No,
Speaker 3: it's like well you don't work, right, They're like, you're retired.
Speaker 3: It's pajamas.
Speaker 2: So then that's that makes me feel great because the
Speaker 2: algorithm is still stupid and it doesn't know who you are.
Speaker 3: But that's also given the number of things I've filtered
Speaker 3: out because they were literally offensive. Yeah, you know, so
Speaker 3: it's like pajamas and.
Speaker 2: Memory care facilities for you and all caps.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they're like a place for mom. You're like,
Speaker 3: what place forty?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, it's gonna get even worse even now,
Speaker 4: as we said here with our phones on the table,
Speaker 4: because they're currently listening. This is the most fucked up
Speaker 4: thing that ever Happenedlast night. I met dinner after the
Speaker 4: show and I literally said, what do you guys thinking
Speaker 4: about deviled eggs? Like getting them for the table to share? No,
Speaker 4: I flip up in my phone. It's like deviled eggs.
Speaker 4: It's like the algorithm was like, just wanted to talk
Speaker 4: about deviled eggs. Yeah, And I'm like, this is too
Speaker 4: specific to not be you literally monitoring me at all
Speaker 4: times when my phone is like not in act of use.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, well.
Speaker 3: You can hear ordered deviled eggs? Is I thought it
Speaker 3: was going to be for a senior home.
Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be your interest, changing
Speaker 2: circumstances for the table, a place for Dad, a place
Speaker 2: for gun Cal, place for Gonk. Do we like to
Speaker 2: start this now and plan out like an assisted living
Speaker 2: facility for like Brooklyn Commedi.
Speaker 3: I mean we should, there should be something, but I'm
Speaker 3: scared because I'm like, what could be worse than a
Speaker 3: nursing home. A nursing home for Canadians.
Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, just desperately trying out your like new stuff.
Speaker 3: Yes, just or like doing bits like people are on
Speaker 3: when they're in their.
Speaker 2: Eighties, Like doing a bit that you're choking, but you
Speaker 2: are you are, like doing a bit that you forget.
Speaker 2: It's like something but you do. You have Wait.
Speaker 3: That is my biggest fear when I'm on stage. I've
Speaker 3: had panic attacks about that of work. I have panic
Speaker 3: attacks while I'm on stage about what if I had
Speaker 3: a seizure right now, They'd all think I was doing
Speaker 3: an acting.
Speaker 2: She's amazing, She's so physical.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I've never been physical in my act
Speaker 3: in my whole life. I don't know why I think this,
Speaker 3: but for some reason, in my mind, they are all
Speaker 3: going to think I'm like Pablo Francisco and I'm just
Speaker 3: doing a full like like I've had full panic attacks
Speaker 3: where I don't remember the entire set. So I'm just
Speaker 3: like by wrote, memorizing saying it out loud. Yeah, but
Speaker 3: in my mind going if I had a seizure right now,
Speaker 3: they'd all laugh.
Speaker 2: They'd all be laughing. That that's crossed my mind before. Everybody.
Speaker 2: If you see rosebud Baker live and she seizes on stage,
Speaker 2: it's not an act out. It's not the hospital. She's
Speaker 2: suddenly a physical comedian.
Speaker 7: Something, a seizure something.
Speaker 2: The police. Andy, you'll be there, He'll call the police.
Speaker 2: If it was up to you, you'd be like, I'm fine.
Speaker 2: Andy's calling the pediatricians to come down, Like this.
Speaker 3: Is actually about my wife, but I don't have the
Speaker 3: doctor's number. Yeah, it's a terrifying thing to imagine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but the great thing though, is like
Speaker 4: I mean, as I was watching the special, I was
Speaker 4: thinking about it, I was like to have like that
Speaker 4: family unit in place that's kind of like, this is
Speaker 4: like weird to say, but it does, like you have
Speaker 4: people that are gonna look after you forever. And sometimes
Speaker 4: I think about that like it sounds weird to say,
Speaker 4: and like we all have it in some regard because
Speaker 4: like community has been so important in how we develop
Speaker 4: and stuff. But like for like queer people, like that
Speaker 4: is really important to have, like your chosen family, et cetera,
Speaker 4: because like I need to know who's gonna check.
Speaker 2: Me into the facility? Yeah, me, me, me? Or just
Speaker 2: like end it girl, No, no, bring me out of
Speaker 2: my senment.
Speaker 3: Same thing to myself. Literally yeah, by Billy, please y
Speaker 3: unplug it. I don't want to do it.
Speaker 2: Once we get bad news. Let's commit to that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm telling you of mice and men, that's interesting, Like.
Speaker 3: You want to be hugged to death?
Speaker 2: Yeah, kill me like he killed her, not like.
Speaker 3: No, kill me like the little mouse.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I was thinking of me until you crush me.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I was thinking of his
Speaker 4: mama that he shakes, not me.
Speaker 2: Remembering of mice and men. My long term I'm telling
Speaker 2: you it's crack. That is good. It's a crack crack memory.
Speaker 2: I think if you make it to the finish line,
Speaker 2: which is check me into an assisted living facility, I've
Speaker 2: made it to like seventy eight or whatever. God willing. Yeah, like,
Speaker 2: that's that's the prize. Yeah, I hope not you. That's
Speaker 2: that's suck. That's the last tile on the game of life,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Literally?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that being the prize does that has to
Speaker 3: bum you out?
Speaker 2: It's such a bum But I'm saying it's nice, Like
Speaker 2: I I don't totally disagree with what you guys are saying,
Speaker 2: which is like just end it there. Yeah. You know
Speaker 2: what is like absolutely you could go crazy watching it
Speaker 2: is Gutfeld on Fox, which is like the Fox Late
Speaker 2: night Show. It is the absence of comedy. There is
Speaker 2: nothing funny happening on it, and yet the ratings are
Speaker 2: so through the roof that you almost have to wonder.
Speaker 4: It's like, are people watching it because it's like they
Speaker 4: feels like their political homework, or just because they don't
Speaker 4: trust anything on anyone else?
Speaker 3: To be the thinnest premises you have ever seen, Like
Speaker 3: it's hard to here's the problem. To write a good joke,
Speaker 3: a premise has to be true. You have to write
Speaker 3: a true premise. To write a true punchline, not that
Speaker 3: the punchline is supposed to be like true actual, but
Speaker 3: like what we would consider a punchline. Yea, I you cannot.
Speaker 3: It's that job is going to be harder and harder
Speaker 3: to do because you're trying to write jokes about premises
Speaker 3: that are not true exactly. So I mean, as long
Speaker 3: as everyone in that world is considering it to be true,
Speaker 3: I guess it works.
Speaker 2: It must work because his ratings are so big. There's
Speaker 2: so much bigger than any of right, And I was,
Speaker 2: but I was telling you that the ratings is more
Speaker 2: of a function of like it being embedded in other
Speaker 2: news programming onpot I hear you where like Daily Show
Speaker 2: could never get those numbers because it's on Comedy Central
Speaker 2: and no one's like keeping Comedy Central on all day
Speaker 2: and leaving it on at night. And I completely get that.
Speaker 2: But my thing is, like, I mean, it's on, they're
Speaker 2: hearing it, and if there's nothing to challenge the idea
Speaker 2: that it's a not comedy and be also not true,
Speaker 2: then it's just on and they start to believe it.
Speaker 2: I think I'm just like really realizing more and more
Speaker 2: that we're just in two completely different silos and there's
Speaker 2: really nothing to be done about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's nothing you can do if you do care
Speaker 3: about like what is true. There are still journalists. They
Speaker 3: do exist, you know, Like I have found that even
Speaker 3: just at update right, we have we get a setup.
Speaker 3: I have to turn around so often and be like, hey,
Speaker 3: is this something I should be freaked out about? Or
Speaker 3: is this a headline that is sounds a lot scarier
Speaker 3: than it actually is. And most most often the answer
Speaker 3: is like, you don't need to worry about this until
Speaker 3: this and this and this happen.
Speaker 2: And who's telling you that? Like who.
Speaker 3: Imagine the beacon of truth? Just Josh Patten who studied
Speaker 3: political science gets you know.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, we love Josh.
Speaker 3: He's so smart. And oftentimes whenever I'm about to like
Speaker 3: freak out and it's hard for me to write a.
Speaker 2: Joke when I'm like emotionally of course, like this is crazy.
Speaker 3: He'll be like, ah, it's not crazy for another three months,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And I'm like, okay, all right,
Speaker 3: so I can budget the amount of like fear that
Speaker 3: I have. But more often than not, you can like
Speaker 3: look this stuff up. You can find out like if
Speaker 3: it's true and if it's not right.
Speaker 2: But I love that patents telling you, oh, worry about
Speaker 2: bird flu in June?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, He'll be like, it's not a problem
Speaker 3: until this happens.
Speaker 2: Million birds are dead, Okay, we're here. When I said June, yes, a.
Speaker 3: Like I was so freaked out about the flu the
Speaker 3: flu meeting getting canceled and I was like, oh no,
Speaker 3: no no, and he was like, if it gets canceled
Speaker 3: in six months, then we're really in trouble.
Speaker 2: How do you know this because because of the major?
Speaker 3: Because of the major, I guess I literally just realized
Speaker 3: that I just went because of his major.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's that's that's an answer. Yeah. He is
Speaker 2: a very smart guy. I mean he's he's in aged
Speaker 2: in it constantly to do.
Speaker 4: I'm actually fascinated by how weekend Update works, Like is
Speaker 4: it do you guys work the same Like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the same We work the same week, Like we
Speaker 3: go in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Yeah, we go
Speaker 3: in and we do like three to five pages of
Speaker 3: jokes a day. So we just get like all these
Speaker 3: setups and that goes out to everyone.
Speaker 2: I don't know really why. I don't know if anybody
Speaker 2: I know, it's on the setups. There's a setups file
Speaker 2: in the server m and like I'm like, we shouldn't.
Speaker 2: I'm like, cast doesn't need access to this necessarily, not really,
Speaker 2: but everyone does.
Speaker 3: Sometimes people use it, so I guess I truly speculation.
Speaker 3: But we just write three to five pages of jokes
Speaker 3: a day by ourselves and then turn them in and
Speaker 3: then on Friday and Saturday we go through all of
Speaker 3: them once, like Jost and Chay have made their picks,
Speaker 3: we go through all of them. We tag each other's
Speaker 3: jokes up, we listen to them, We listen to the
Speaker 3: jokes that were picked back and based off of like
Speaker 3: the reaction or the way that they feel saying them,
Speaker 3: it's like they kind of narrow it down from that
Speaker 3: for Saturday. And then Pete has like such a hard
Speaker 3: job because Pete has to like make sure that the
Speaker 3: show has different topics, that it's covering a widespread and
Speaker 3: that things haven't been just blasted out already, that they're
Speaker 3: not telling jokes that have already been told. Michaelbert, Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I his job is so hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always think about his job. Peach Schultz, also
Speaker 2: one of the Kings of Update, Yes, has to like
Speaker 2: really keep his ear to the ground. Yeah, that like it's.
Speaker 3: Hard, Yeah, and keep both hosts happy making sure that
Speaker 3: they're getting the jokes that they want off, you.
Speaker 4: Know, and then what's the interaction between I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm like asking questions because Bowen is such a star
Speaker 4: on Update, Like what is the interaction between people writing
Speaker 4: their updates?
Speaker 2: And like the Weekend Update writing team is there.
Speaker 3: So well, Like when Bowen comes in, he'll pitch something
Speaker 3: that's like, hey, I'm thinking about doing the hippo but
Speaker 3: like kind of making it off of like mapping it
Speaker 3: off of Chapel roone, and we're like, great, sounds done,
Speaker 3: Like that's just such a finished piece.
Speaker 2: Did did you check it on Tuesday or Monday? Or
Speaker 2: Tuesday with the premise?
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the update TA and you come in and
Speaker 3: you're like, this is the thing and then you go
Speaker 3: write it right. Other times someone will come in and
Speaker 3: they're like I want to do something that's kind of
Speaker 3: about this, and then we'll pitch on it and will
Speaker 3: help them and like right, And this is something that
Speaker 3: I actually didn't understand as a sketch writer. On the
Speaker 3: sketch writing side is if you go into Update and
Speaker 3: you're like, I have this idea for a feature, it's
Speaker 3: not completely done. You can sit down and pitch with them.
Speaker 3: They will give you a full like we'll give you
Speaker 3: like two to three day of job. And I don't
Speaker 3: see it often get into the thing. Well sometimes it does,
Speaker 3: but it's hard for people to understand that we're there
Speaker 3: for that. Yeah you know what I mean, because you
Speaker 3: just in your brain it's two different things staffs. So
Speaker 3: you feel like you're just kind of chucking it, like
Speaker 3: just going back and forth. I've never said chuck, chuck,
Speaker 3: you're chucking it, really work, you're chucking it.
Speaker 2: We're just sitting here chucking it. We were just checking it.
Speaker 3: And I feel like when I say things about SNL,
Speaker 3: I forget, I lose my grasp one.
Speaker 2: I'm the same. I have no idea what words are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I also don't know what's safe to say.
Speaker 3: Like I'll say things and then I'll immediately be like,
Speaker 3: well that's it. You want to walk into the ash
Speaker 3: and cook. Yeah, it's over. But so we're chucking it.
Speaker 3: I'm back to chucking it, and and you just think, oh,
Speaker 3: that's not really they're not really pitching right, but we're
Speaker 3: totally yeah you are.
Speaker 2: So there's that. I honestly need to take advantage of
Speaker 2: that more.
Speaker 3: Whenever you want to chuck it, come chucking chuck it.
Speaker 2: Just so everyone's clear.
Speaker 4: Boone is wearing a jewel tone legging and a beautiful
Speaker 4: Christian bracelet. I know he's a Christians. And when he
Speaker 4: talks about his Lent piece that he was going to yes.
Speaker 3: Wear ron stones on your vagina.
Speaker 2: Jesus so too. So these are flying off. There's only three,
Speaker 2: only three on Angel's wings. Wait a minute, that's a tattoo.
Speaker 2: I thought you.
Speaker 4: I thought you were going to go on update as
Speaker 4: like like a QVC person.
Speaker 2: Oh that's fun. Oh yeah, because anyone ever done that? Probably,
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, probably thinking no one's ever done that,
Speaker 2: will go and sell like his fake his fake problem
Speaker 2: always a yes no. Basically, the character was a Lent
Speaker 2: mascot named Lenny. He was in a Friar's outfit and
Speaker 2: he was like there to like whisper sweet nothings about
Speaker 2: giving up swearing and alcohol, and then he got up
Speaker 2: to sing a song. And then when he stood up
Speaker 2: like titty mans and cocaine and and and then and
Speaker 2: then he would just be like I like, I'm a
Speaker 2: monk who loves boobs. Okay. It was very much in
Speaker 2: my voice as a boob lover. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But anyway, did anyone pitched that you stand up and
Speaker 3: there is no robe under the road?
Speaker 2: Yes? Wait, someone did top Okay, see, I gotta check
Speaker 2: it with y'all.
Speaker 3: We gotta come chuck it.
Speaker 4: We got chuck it. Okay, I'm going to chuck it
Speaker 4: in a different way. Now we're gonna ask you the
Speaker 4: central question of our podcast. Okay, this is the question,
Speaker 4: what was the culture that made you say culture was
Speaker 4: for you? Rosebud Baker. This is that thing that hint
Speaker 4: that culturally it hinged you.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So I did think about this before I got here.
Speaker 2: Thank you for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did. I thought about it. And because a
Speaker 3: lot of culture I don't remember because I have blocked
Speaker 3: out most of my life. However, I believe that dance
Speaker 3: movies center stage being the on the oscar because because
Speaker 3: Zoe Seldania putting a cigarette out with her point show
Speaker 3: sent shivers down my spine in a way where I
Speaker 3: was like, I can be cool.
Speaker 2: And a girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like I don't know she's the one that
Speaker 3: got on the motorcycle, but she was in my mind, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: she was the one that got on the motorcycle with
Speaker 3: the with the ballerina that that drove the motorcycle. Yes,
Speaker 3: and they had sex in his apartment with like floor
Speaker 3: to ceiling windows. They had the same windows as the
Speaker 3: friends apartment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they did that like a completely unattainable thing that
Speaker 4: some people in New York were living in film and
Speaker 4: television at that time.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that just made me. That sort
Speaker 3: of turned me on in a way that in a
Speaker 3: theater kid kind of a way, yes, which I have
Speaker 3: been I would say closeted about for most of my
Speaker 3: life that I was a theater kid.
Speaker 2: Now is that this is why you and like Greta
Speaker 2: get along because you can both meet each other.
Speaker 3: Theater kids from DC.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, damn, that's the common thread. Yes, two of
Speaker 2: our greats. Mm hmm, two of our greats.
Speaker 3: So it was like anything that was like based in
Speaker 3: New York City, like Rent. Obviously the musical the Zoe
Speaker 3: Saldonna out the cigarette with her point.
Speaker 2: Shot image is very it's formative.
Speaker 3: It's so but I'm like, that was it. Yeah, that
Speaker 3: was the moment where I was.
Speaker 2: Like, I'm cool, Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to New York and I'm gonna be
Speaker 3: an artist in New York.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's fun. And I was like, have edge but
Speaker 2: also like be driven.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm gonna have edge, but I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Like eat cotton balls. Yeah yeah, just off myself or
Speaker 2: whatever soup would be two fillings. Yes, oh I can't.
Speaker 2: I know genre I have really fallen off. I just
Speaker 2: like we need more of them. Like the last big
Speaker 2: ones were like step up, do you want to know what?
Speaker 2: I think they sequalized them all too much. I can
Speaker 2: step up two, three, four, five, ten, twenty eight. Once
Speaker 2: you it just feels like a story exactly.
Speaker 4: I mean, like unless unless you're actually gonna like really
Speaker 4: make them different and change them. I feel like, honestly,
Speaker 4: they got overfranch So I think.
Speaker 3: That if you follow the arc of any dancer and
Speaker 3: their their career is gonna end way before five movies.
Speaker 3: You gotta you can't. Nobody wants to see a dancer
Speaker 3: after retirement.
Speaker 4: Not only just because I guess your body changes and
Speaker 4: gives not gives up, but like is not able.
Speaker 2: To wash your body's washed after two years in Vegas
Speaker 2: hoofing it for Jade to the Low.
Speaker 4: Also, like the lifestyle, the lifestyle. I guess also was
Speaker 4: like we can't keep doing this. Yeah, I can't keep
Speaker 4: wearing a flat rim hat and doing get right.
Speaker 2: No you can't. You don't kill yourself? Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: like where is our generation? This generation's like flash dance,
Speaker 2: show girls, dirty dancing like dance. Is that what you're
Speaker 2: talking about when I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Those dance where people were having like they were in
Speaker 3: high school and they were dancing up against each other.
Speaker 3: They were like they were on teams, they were fighting
Speaker 3: each other with dance. It was like it was our
Speaker 3: west Side Story, Like.
Speaker 2: They literally did West Side Story. But I don't know
Speaker 2: what it was that it just didn't hit the culture
Speaker 2: because it was good. But the thing is, like, you
Speaker 2: know where those dance moments popped out, which they haven't
Speaker 2: really done in a few years. Are those live musicals
Speaker 2: that they did, like the Grease live musical that they
Speaker 2: did one that was exactly what like Julian Huff was
Speaker 2: like made to And I'm like, why isn't she the
Speaker 2: huge like like old Hollywood star of these types of movies.
Speaker 2: Is because they don't make them anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that people have gotten to this is
Speaker 3: just a theory. But I think we've gotten too invested
Speaker 3: in the villain running the story. We all love the
Speaker 3: anti hero, you know, and I think we all sort
Speaker 3: of leaned into the anti hero with Tony Soprano and
Speaker 3: breaking bad, and all of a sudden we were like
Speaker 3: a dancer who wants to make something of herself, like,
Speaker 3: you know, it just didn't. I think we all have
Speaker 3: just leaned too far into that, so much so that
Speaker 3: we oops made one the president. I'm like, let's just
Speaker 3: get back to like fun dance movies.
Speaker 4: I think that it actually speaks to like my I
Speaker 4: don't think so, honey from from the other week, which
Speaker 4: was I need to see animated movies Disney whatever for
Speaker 4: kids where the villains die really bad deaths. Yes, because
Speaker 4: they used to do it all the time, and they
Speaker 4: got afraid because it's not just anti heroes that were
Speaker 4: obsessed with, also protagonists who are complicated and the actual
Speaker 4: the villain is what's inside. It's her insecurity, right, It's
Speaker 4: the fact that she has a weird identity she hasn't
Speaker 4: come to grips with.
Speaker 2: That's the villain of the story.
Speaker 4: It's like, no, give me a fucking one eyed, total bitch.
Speaker 2: Yes, coming in here.
Speaker 4: Who wants to kill tk TK It was puppies for
Speaker 4: Correl Deville. They would never do that, would never do that.
Speaker 2: There would never be a woman dressed in the animals
Speaker 2: she killed anymore, not for kids. We've had too much
Speaker 2: like these are if these are the three stories, man
Speaker 2: versus Nature, man versus man, man verse himself, we've had
Speaker 2: too much man versus himselves, man versus himself.
Speaker 4: No, we need to fear the villains of the world
Speaker 4: because they're out there.
Speaker 2: Man versus the algorithm. That is the fourth one gap.
Speaker 2: This is the this is the new dance movie that
Speaker 2: we're all gonna write. It's it's the TikTok dance movie.
Speaker 2: It's people at a high school. They're all competing for
Speaker 2: TikTok dances or something some bullshit like that, and then
Speaker 2: they find out the real villain is the algorithm or something.
Speaker 3: I love that or the guy running the TikTok cult
Speaker 3: that they're in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but here's the thing we need to reveal in
Speaker 2: the movie that the algorithm actually.
Speaker 4: Is a person with one eye dressed in all dogs.
Speaker 4: He's a killer, like and we have to watch him
Speaker 4: push pushed into lava.
Speaker 2: But it's not enough.
Speaker 4: He's like coming out of the lava and like crocodiles
Speaker 4: who can swim in lava? Rip him apart and we
Speaker 4: watch it.
Speaker 3: He but first he comes out of the lava with
Speaker 3: the dog. With the dog cos he's wearing a crocodile.
Speaker 3: He's he's in the mouth and he's like.
Speaker 2: Guess what I'm wearing this too.
Speaker 4: It needs to be a four minute death scene like
Speaker 4: what we did to Mikey Madison and Once upon a
Speaker 4: Time in Hollywood, Like she didn't deserve that. Some of
Speaker 4: these villains deserve. Not well, actually she was in the
Speaker 4: Manson family. She did deserve, yes, and she was. She
Speaker 4: was also a ghost face.
Speaker 2: She got stabbed in the eye and Mikey Madison has
Speaker 2: burnt to death in two out of I guess her
Speaker 2: three films, Face and spent a time. Yeah, can I be.
Speaker 3: Honest, I did not watch all of Once upon a Time.
Speaker 3: I do like certain scenes from it, but mainly I
Speaker 3: just remember Brad Pitt on a roof because I take
Speaker 3: a photo of the.
Speaker 2: Screen in the movie. The man looks good in a
Speaker 2: lot of positions.
Speaker 3: But I was alone in the movie theater. It's not
Speaker 3: okay to I was literally.
Speaker 4: Like in the movie theater, my phone is out, I'm
Speaker 4: not watching.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have come, Like I'm telling you, like it's
Speaker 2: for sure, like it's really bad.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'll pick the movie that I know no one
Speaker 4: is going to be there for just so I can
Speaker 4: go to text in a dark room.
Speaker 2: That's I don't know what that you know.
Speaker 3: I used to do that when I was having a
Speaker 3: really bad day. I would get a carry karaoke room
Speaker 3: by myself.
Speaker 2: Oh, by myself. That's amazing. What chucking it on?
Speaker 3: Just chucking it to like the hardest ones, you know,
Speaker 3: just like trying to melt out a Whitney Houston.
Speaker 2: Just give it a shot, so vocally push yourself. It
Speaker 2: wasn't a place where you could like, you know, rap hard.
Speaker 2: It wasn't like whatever it was about pushing yourself vocally.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was like I just want to I don't
Speaker 3: feel my uh my sponsor, my therapist, like there's a
Speaker 3: lot of there's a team. Yeah, there's the care team.
Speaker 3: My my therapist sponsor. He was like, you need to
Speaker 3: like yell in a pillow every once in a while.
Speaker 3: That's good because I was telling him how much I
Speaker 3: related to Walton Goggins in this notice and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you should probably like yell into a pillow about that,
Speaker 3: and but like, I don't feel comfortable yelling into a
Speaker 3: pillow because it's insane. So if I go into a
Speaker 3: karaoke booth by myself, also insane but fun, but no.
Speaker 2: And also so much of why it exists. Yeah, have
Speaker 2: you ever booked one of those rooms? I think they
Speaker 2: still have them in New York where it's just like
Speaker 2: old printers and TVs and then you have you take
Speaker 2: a job camera and you just like it's like you
Speaker 2: office space. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I've seen a lot of people do that, and I
Speaker 3: wanted to do it so badly, but I was pregnant
Speaker 3: at the time, and I was like, this is when
Speaker 3: I actually need this and it's not safe.
Speaker 2: And it's not safe. Now if you would like, let's
Speaker 2: all go, let's do it, I think all of us
Speaker 2: and I should go yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, yes, you.
Speaker 4: Know what I mean, maybe like while they go to
Speaker 4: the host dinner or something like you guys just go
Speaker 4: skip out on a Tuesday, just take an hour and
Speaker 4: a half to go like.
Speaker 2: Yes, like truly hammered down on these things. It helps
Speaker 2: it really does.
Speaker 3: It would almost like I'll watch that story about Larry
Speaker 3: David like yelling at Dick Eversol.
Speaker 2: I'll just watch that when I'm in just the story, just.
Speaker 3: The story, and I'll just you know, of him just
Speaker 3: yelling and saying this and everybody watching and then him
Speaker 3: storming out and then I just like stop it. I
Speaker 3: don't even watch the how he showed back up on Monday.
Speaker 3: I'll just be like, yeah, good for you, you know,
Speaker 3: when I'm in a mood.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. But it actually is a thing. I've never
Speaker 2: really thought about channeling my anger in that way. I
Speaker 2: know those rooms exist. It was like a couple weeks ago,
Speaker 2: I was I was working out and the guy who
Speaker 2: trains me, when we were doing this thing where like
Speaker 2: he would throw a ball to me and I would
Speaker 2: twist and throw the ball back and I had to
Speaker 2: throw it as hard as I could. Yeah, And all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, I was like, Wow, this is like
Speaker 2: the best and most alive. I felt so literally yesterday
Speaker 2: in the shower. Do you know what I thought? I
Speaker 2: was like, what if I just went and tried like boxing,
Speaker 2: Oh not with another person, just literally just like hitting
Speaker 2: a bag, like I actually think I could get into
Speaker 2: that because I didn't understand. And one of the things
Speaker 2: I've actually realized in my own therapy over the past
Speaker 2: few years, and I think we share this is like,
Speaker 2: actually how much anger I have about something? Oh my god?
Speaker 2: And it's really very useful in like a in like.
Speaker 3: A what happened with your voice when you said really.
Speaker 2: No, really no, no, I'm telling you. Yeah. He even
Speaker 2: said something about it. The trainer.
Speaker 4: He was like, oh, wow, like you have some aggression
Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, I think it's really becoming
Speaker 4: apparent right now. But I thought to myself, like, what
Speaker 4: if I go sco punched something in a productive way?
Speaker 3: But I do think it's a slippery slope boxing by
Speaker 3: MMA to Rogan.
Speaker 2: You don't you don't see me going mm a Rogan though.
Speaker 3: No, But I sometimes I wonder if they if the
Speaker 3: two literally are if it's unavoidable, like no matter who
Speaker 3: you are starting out, I worry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if one day we'll all end up at just
Speaker 2: different different eras at MMA.
Speaker 3: It would be so funny if you started boxing and
Speaker 3: within a year you were like straight living.
Speaker 2: As a slur. It went from Hay in the park
Speaker 2: to Ura faggot in a real way living in Austin.
Speaker 2: What's then anything possible? Spinning? Why is that the way
Speaker 2: that I think that's the most masculine thing, which it is.
Speaker 2: We're not disagreeing with you, What is wrong with me?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Spin on it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I really ato like I think it's Zoe Saldana.
Speaker 2: But did Yeah, so then when you moved to New York,
Speaker 2: did that feeling washed over you of like I'm Zoe?
Speaker 2: It definitely washed.
Speaker 3: Obviously at some point I was like I am Zoe,
Speaker 3: but more so than I was like an amalgamation of
Speaker 3: these characters where it's like which is hilarious because I
Speaker 3: was just like twenty with a drinking problem. But I
Speaker 3: did feel like I was like, I'm a little bit rent,
Speaker 3: I'm a little bit center stage, I'm a little bit
Speaker 3: sex in the city, I'm a little bit of friends.
Speaker 3: I thought it was all of those things. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: truth be told, I was none of those things. I
Speaker 3: lived in a railroad in green Point, the worst part
Speaker 3: of green Point with my ex and his metal band.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, so they were actually living there.
Speaker 3: They were living there, they were rehearsing that they were Yeah,
Speaker 3: it was It was tough because I do hate. I
Speaker 3: hated their music, but I do hate metal in general.
Speaker 2: But their music, and uh, are you honest about that?
Speaker 3: I wasn't because I truth be told it was that
Speaker 3: or rehab. So I was like, I have to I'm
Speaker 3: like he he like promised my family he would take
Speaker 3: care of me because I was supposed to go to rehab.
Speaker 3: And I sort of like, did I bamboozled?
Speaker 2: Wow? And it's worth it? Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I definitely took my parents' money and I was
Speaker 3: I told them I would buy a ticket to DC
Speaker 3: to go to rehabit instead, I stopped off in New
Speaker 3: York and I got off the plane and I moved.
Speaker 3: I moved in with X and his medal.
Speaker 2: I had to know this about you. That is that
Speaker 2: is the rosebud Baker story. So insane.
Speaker 4: Very ZOEA very very Zoe, literally the energy of ballerina slipwear.
Speaker 3: Yeah, very Zoe, but bloated an alcoholic U huh and
Speaker 3: had not moved a muscle in terms of dance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody who moved to New York. It doesn't matter
Speaker 2: who you are. There's some piece of media and whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying anything new but that like you just
Speaker 2: are fantasizing about or you think you're living. Yeah, for guys,
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know, taxi driver or something. Maybe
Speaker 2: I don't know. I will say that is that.
Speaker 3: Is a theater guy. That is a theater straight guys
Speaker 3: version of a New York City Right.
Speaker 2: And then for like women and gay guys, it's sex
Speaker 2: and the sexy. Yes. But then so girls hit when
Speaker 2: we were like at the end of college, like Slash
Speaker 2: getting out of college, and we were like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: this is like the literal version of what it is. Yes,
Speaker 2: the green Point metal band is very girl, very Yes.
Speaker 3: I was actually Hannah, you were yeah, Yeah, Wow, I
Speaker 3: was Hannah having terrible sex in an apartment with a
Speaker 3: boyfriend that was building things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for no reason.
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's nothing to be built. It's a rental.
Speaker 2: I can't get over that.
Speaker 4: Adam Driver went from playing the weirdest fuck boy in
Speaker 4: Brooklyn to Kylo.
Speaker 3: Ren And you know what's even weirder is that he
Speaker 3: was hotter to me as the weirdest one a thousand Right.
Speaker 4: I think that that was the That was honestly one
Speaker 4: of the top three things that made that show successful. Yeah,
Speaker 4: was the Yes, just how reasonable it was that this
Speaker 4: was the hottest guy all around to end up weird.
Speaker 3: Do I have like lipstick like caking?
Speaker 2: Nope? Okay, good, perfect?
Speaker 4: But what is it lately about? I feel the same
Speaker 4: way my lips have been, Like I'm so conscious of
Speaker 4: my lips lately.
Speaker 3: No, I know, because if gross slip is really something
Speaker 3: that you live with, like there's nothing breath.
Speaker 4: No, gross slip is worse than bad breath. It's rule
Speaker 4: culture number nineteen. Gross slip is worse than a bad breath.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess. So mine just chraps the same spot
Speaker 2: and I peel from the same spot, cons mine gets
Speaker 2: merely in the corners. I'm really really sorry that was discussing.
Speaker 2: I feel the need to like turn to everyone here
Speaker 2: and say I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: No, I'm because that's what I'm worried about right now.
Speaker 4: I wasn't thinking about it until you said it, and
Speaker 4: now I'm self conscious about it. But let's just live
Speaker 4: in this together.
Speaker 3: And if you have Matt, like mac lipstick is like
Speaker 3: it's great for stage or whatever, but it does it
Speaker 3: just cake? You're like, oh damn, I don't want to
Speaker 3: have a cake on my lip. Anyway, we were talking
Speaker 3: about Adam Driver being hot.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, and also it's funny that you say
Speaker 2: they were having bad sex, because I remember this must
Speaker 2: have just been my my acceptual experience at the time.
Speaker 2: But I was like, is what they're doing really hot?
Speaker 2: Because remember when he because he dated it started dating
Speaker 2: Schery Apple be in the show and then he like
Speaker 2: made her crawl around on the floor and he like
Speaker 2: came on her tits and she was like I don't
Speaker 2: like this, yes, And I was like, oh, he has
Speaker 2: that weird sex that he loves with Hannah yea. And
Speaker 2: I hadn't even I guess that was like why the
Speaker 2: show was so great character to point out that it
Speaker 2: was label it as weird. No, it was just like
Speaker 2: it was. I guess what I was latching onto was
Speaker 2: I was like, there's really different modes of this. There's
Speaker 2: no such thing as like good sex and bad sex.
Speaker 2: It's like your sex is your sex, and this guy
Speaker 2: his weird stuff like works for her.
Speaker 4: Like I was never worried for her, right, It just
Speaker 4: seemed like she was in a position where they were
Speaker 4: figuring it out sexually. But I was never worried for
Speaker 4: Hannah right.
Speaker 2: No. Ever, I felt like it was.
Speaker 3: It was odd to me because I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is a guy who genuinely loves her, wants to
Speaker 3: care for her once, like just loves her. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: for some reason it's like sexually he's like into this shit,
Speaker 3: you know. And she kind of always seemed a little bit.
Speaker 2: Like I guess yeah, you know, and that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I always felt like Hannah was going like
Speaker 3: that sure, you know. It was always she literally would
Speaker 3: like shrug her shoulders as consent and then they'd be
Speaker 3: like yeah, cool.
Speaker 2: But it was that.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's why I got to say, like when
Speaker 3: I was watching girls and then I think it was
Speaker 3: like me too. A few years after that, yeah, and
Speaker 3: I was like rewatching it and I was like, well,
Speaker 3: this is half of my sexual experience right as like
Speaker 3: as just a person that grew up.
Speaker 2: When I did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm like so just everything. I literally called
Speaker 3: my therapist. I was like, I actually just don't have
Speaker 3: the bandwidth for this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I said, no, I said that.
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't have the bandwidth to break
Speaker 3: all this down. I'm just gonna kind of push this down.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And he was like okay, Wow, it's like what
Speaker 4: were we okay with and what were we just like, oh,
Speaker 4: I guess this is what sex is, Like, I'll submit
Speaker 4: to whatever this is, despite the fact that like because
Speaker 4: I guess what it was for me is I was like, well,
Speaker 4: this person that I'm having sex with can't have like
Speaker 4: like a real relationship with sex and away I don't
Speaker 4: like a proclivity towards this thing he wants to do.
Speaker 2: I guess we're just both figuring out and it must
Speaker 2: be fine. Yeah, And then yeah, Wow, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, sometimes you meet somebody and you're like, well, I
Speaker 3: was never into this before, but I guess I kind
Speaker 3: of am with you, like you know, you never know.
Speaker 3: And then you're like, it's just it's sort of a
Speaker 3: mystery that I'm going to leave unsolved.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know. But like that show kind of
Speaker 2: portrayed it in a way that I think we probably
Speaker 2: hadn't seen before. Absolutely what I mean absolutely in a
Speaker 2: serialized way, like, oh, you can track like the sex
Speaker 2: that Adam was having with this character is not the
Speaker 2: same the sex he was happing with Hannah, and therefore
Speaker 2: that is, yes, this weird sort of questionable. Yeah whatever,
Speaker 2: they definitely need didn't do that in Sex and the City.
Speaker 2: It was always like fun.
Speaker 3: I know, the sex scenes in Sex and City. When
Speaker 3: you rewatch them back, you're.
Speaker 2: Like, no, it's like that's he that's not even that.
Speaker 2: It doesn't even look right. No, it wasn't even stage.
Speaker 2: But like all this Samantha stuff is just like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know. What I loved about girls was like
Speaker 2: it never made an attempt almost ever make it to
Speaker 2: make sex look hot. Yes, it was always weird.
Speaker 3: It was ridiculous, absurd yeah, and clanky.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And like that was the whole thing with Adam and
Speaker 4: Jess too, right, Like the first time they fucked it
Speaker 4: was terrible, and they were so positive it would be good,
Speaker 4: and then it eventually does get good and they get
Speaker 4: on the same page. But like those two characters having
Speaker 4: bad sex was so it was such a mulk moment
Speaker 4: in that choke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were, they were. They were chucking it about that.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. It's not hey, mama, it with
Speaker 2: mama choking it with mama chucking it with mama, My,
Speaker 2: that's the winner. Like what's this going to be?
Speaker 3: They're chucking it, They're chucking a little out, We're chucking it,
Speaker 3: We're clanking it. I think I said clanking a second ago. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was talking about the sex in girls. I said clank, yeah,
Speaker 3: which it does actually work.
Speaker 2: It's clinking. It's very Judy Garland meet me in Saint Louis.
Speaker 3: Yeah, clank clan clan clan Clanka. Scarecrow meets tin Man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, imagine if they fun to be terrible. Watch watch
Speaker 2: the Scarecrow and the tin Man. Yeah, I want to
Speaker 2: click the link. Yeah, I'd click the link whenever. Whenever
Speaker 2: he sees two hot guys and a picture together goes,
Speaker 2: I'd click the legs. Actually, that's that is so this?
Speaker 2: Oh god, I click click the link. He said, it's
Speaker 2: about a picture of me and someone else other day
Speaker 2: clicking my.
Speaker 3: Not me responding to a picture of the baby with
Speaker 3: that later today, cick the link.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Like, no, that's not how you do it.
Speaker 4: I was watching Denise Richards has a new reality show
Speaker 4: on Bravo. It's like Denise Richard's like, yeah, not on Housewives.
Speaker 4: But and she was talking about like her daughter joined
Speaker 4: only fans. Yes, she kind of couldn't really say anything
Speaker 4: because like she had Hollywood and was doing like wild things,
Speaker 4: et cetera. And they have an brought it up right,
Speaker 4: and so, yes and so. But now on the show
Speaker 4: it's like they're explaining it more. And the daughter Sammy
Speaker 4: was like, well, it would have been fine had you
Speaker 4: not joined right after, because Denise was like, well, then
Speaker 4: I joined only fans because I didn't want my daughter
Speaker 4: doing it alone, like I want her to feel like.
Speaker 2: Empowered about Denise Denise.
Speaker 4: And then and then the daughter was like, do you
Speaker 4: know how embarrassing it is for me to have to
Speaker 4: explain to my friends, like why you're not only fans?
Speaker 4: And it's just so funny that coachly that's where we're at, Like, Mom,
Speaker 4: I do porn.
Speaker 2: Porn is my thing. You do porn by myself. Mom,
Speaker 2: why do you always have to do porn after me?
Speaker 2: I know I was doing porn for years before you,
Speaker 2: But I understand why you're upset. Honey. Okay, I do
Speaker 2: need to watch this show. It's I actually I tell
Speaker 2: you that all them.
Speaker 4: I was like, I just want to say, I just
Speaker 4: want to knock on the door and say Denise Richards
Speaker 4: is giving something on the.
Speaker 2: On peacock.
Speaker 3: I clicked the link.
Speaker 2: Yeah, any housewife thoughts you want to get off your chest? Yeah,
Speaker 2: what's up? So many?
Speaker 3: I have so many I feel like I'm really I've
Speaker 3: never loved Sutton.
Speaker 2: We're having a hard time. You're loving her.
Speaker 3: I've no, no, no, I never loved her. But now
Speaker 3: I am like, you are an evil, evil person.
Speaker 2: She's the villain very least, she's just broken, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. But I'm generous. But yes, I've said
Speaker 2: evil too in the past.
Speaker 3: Yes, I just watching her sit across from Dery and
Speaker 3: do this.
Speaker 2: Oh the wallet thing really bothered me.
Speaker 3: Like with the eyes, I was like, calm down, you
Speaker 3: look like Ramona.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: It was giving Romona a bit as Also if the
Speaker 4: insult was about like wealth in a way that was
Speaker 4: like a trackable or actually funny, that would be one thing.
Speaker 2: But it's like you need to fight with someone who's
Speaker 2: wallet fits. It's like, well, while it doesn't fit, the
Speaker 2: promise has to be true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the premise has to be true.
Speaker 4: And I'm just like and then like it was so
Speaker 4: easy to dunk on her because the rest of the
Speaker 4: women were just like, like Kyle said in the after show,
Speaker 4: she was like, well, then we have to talk about
Speaker 4: where you actually got your money, which is from a divorce,
Speaker 4: right period.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Like, so that's just it. And I was like,
Speaker 2: do you feel this backed into a corner or are
Speaker 2: you just that mean? Because I think she is that mean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she is that mean because she's never
Speaker 3: been backed into a corner once. I bet I've seen.
Speaker 3: I'm like, except somebody maybe said something about her drinking,
Speaker 3: but it's like, hello, that's the job.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But also there were things to say about her drinking.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I remember the show one time they saw they showed
Speaker 2: her pouring like a huge cocktail in the middle of
Speaker 2: the day and on the bottom hand of the corner
Speaker 2: bottom thing, it's set eleven forty am. It was like
Speaker 2: the show was pointed to show.
Speaker 3: You're like, Okay, well, maybe don't do that on camera
Speaker 3: or if.
Speaker 4: You're gonna yeah, exactly, if you're gonna do it on camera,
Speaker 4: expect that one of your castmates whose job it is
Speaker 4: to say something like this, may say something.
Speaker 3: And the whole show, the whole premise of the show
Speaker 3: and the lot. And this is why the logic of
Speaker 3: it gets so depressing if you really like start to
Speaker 3: think about it, Yeah, is like you are putting your
Speaker 3: life out there, yes, and you're gonna get torn apart.
Speaker 2: And that's kind of what we do with housewives. It's
Speaker 2: fun to do.
Speaker 3: We feel better about ourselves doing.
Speaker 2: And it's fucked up, but it's it's sort.
Speaker 3: Of the last like dark disgusting habit I think of
Speaker 3: like this part of culture. Yeah, it's like it's listen,
Speaker 3: let's enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Well at last, it's WWF for women and gays. Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 2: And I will say when I did, because I have
Speaker 2: publicly spoken against Bronwyn on Salt Lake and then I
Speaker 2: met her from only at the SAG Awards, and then
Speaker 2: we had this lovely moment and I explained myself and
Speaker 2: I apologized for all these terrible things that I had said.
Speaker 2: I said, you are ultimately a fantastic mother. She like
Speaker 2: shows up to all these rallies where she's supporting her
Speaker 2: trans kit. Yeah, and then and then she goes bow in.
Speaker 2: I can take it. This is what I signed up for.
Speaker 2: I love you no matter what you say. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's actually such as transcendent attitude about it.
Speaker 3: That's what I love about bron Wins. That is what
Speaker 3: I love about her. I kind of that was the vibe.
Speaker 2: At least.
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel like it's the same vibe
Speaker 3: off camera, yeah, you know, whereas sudden it's I'm getting
Speaker 3: it's doctor Jack.
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like.
Speaker 3: I'm really loving to read this season. I'm loving her
Speaker 3: kind of like snapping back and getting mad and just
Speaker 3: I'm just enjoying that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because it's real. It's real. That's ultimately what
Speaker 2: it is. Is like the authenticity is kind of it's
Speaker 2: like she does she has no more fucks to give
Speaker 2: because it's kind of like, you know, this this job
Speaker 2: now the Housewives is now like you know, she doesn't
Speaker 2: have to like think about like what her husband's gonna
Speaker 2: think or like pretend at all. She's like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is the place where I can be in my mouse authentic.
Speaker 2: Now it's not, but I don't have to wait to
Speaker 2: fight with my husband behind closed doors. Okay, great, then
Speaker 2: I'll just say what I feel yeah, and.
Speaker 3: She'll be like, hey, little peanut, anyway, she's a cunt. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like I love that she's like she's like a good mom.
Speaker 3: She's sweet to her kids. I love the way she
Speaker 3: talks to her children. I was never talked to like that.
Speaker 3: I mean my mom was like very sweet and loving
Speaker 3: and kind, but she didn't call us like little peanuts
Speaker 3: and like the little nicknames that Yes, Jackie, Yes, she
Speaker 3: just has like the cutest little nicknames for them. But
Speaker 3: I just think that's really sweet. But I mean, who know,
Speaker 3: they'll probably grow up to a resenter for it's well, if.
Speaker 4: It's not that, it's definitely the show at large. Right,
Speaker 4: Oh you Oh, I was a television star at what age?
Speaker 2: And I didn't know?
Speaker 3: Uh? Did you guys watch Potomac? Yeszy Rush is so funny.
Speaker 2: And I want to say I believe her. I believe
Speaker 2: her too, really, yeah, thank you for saying this. I
Speaker 2: believe her because TJ has clearly showed himself to be
Speaker 2: like a bad person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why would I believe this man?
Speaker 2: Why would you believe him? What?
Speaker 3: What about him even read as even a teensy bit believable? Right?
Speaker 2: And I believe that she's like heartbroke over the fact
Speaker 2: that like this guy who whatever it means to her
Speaker 2: or to us her best friend, would then betray her
Speaker 2: and go on and like and like tell the man like, oh,
Speaker 2: she was paying me to be her boyfriend the whole time,
Speaker 2: Like that would be a heartbreaking thing and she would
Speaker 2: not know how to she She was probably in shock
Speaker 2: in that moment and did not know how to explain
Speaker 2: that because it's such a hurtful thing.
Speaker 3: No, I feel like the way that she handled it,
Speaker 3: I was like, you guys are just making her look
Speaker 3: more innocent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, still I rise and still.
Speaker 3: Was.
Speaker 2: But I will also say I think it's somewhere in
Speaker 2: the middle. I think she did not offer to pay him,
Speaker 2: but it was fake. I think the whole thing was
Speaker 2: fake and stage whether or not, like they made it
Speaker 2: an agreement that money would change hands. I can understand
Speaker 2: why you guys think that's definitely didn't happen. But I
Speaker 2: do think that they either did not know each other.
Speaker 2: I don't even believe that they were best friends. I
Speaker 2: believe that he was flown in because he was like
Speaker 2: wanting to do it. He probably was, you know, two
Speaker 2: face to her as well. Like, I just don't believe
Speaker 2: it was real. I just think once the show is out,
Speaker 2: he could not handle the humiliation of people being like, well,
Speaker 2: he's clearly yeah, this whatever for the streets end for
Speaker 2: the guys, right, and so he probably needed to retaliate
Speaker 2: in some way, which is to embarrass her, right, And.
Speaker 3: He did it in a very may I say please homosexual.
Speaker 2: Well yes, by calling into the reunion.
Speaker 3: By calling into the reunion and being run me my money, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 3: now you're just stirring.
Speaker 2: The pod like a flavor. I recognized.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was dropping tea, he's running more tea.
Speaker 2: He was chucking it. Yeah, he was chucking it. He
Speaker 2: actually chucked it into the reunion. And then when Eddie
Speaker 2: got first chair, I was like, thank god, thank god,
Speaker 2: I love Eddie. He's hot. Reunion.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, oh yes, yes she did. What do you
Speaker 3: guys think of I don't know why her name is. Yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you, I gotta go, it's gotta go it.
Speaker 4: I think she probably is because the thing is like
Speaker 4: you can't really just I mean, she literally just left,
Speaker 4: and I know Andy hates.
Speaker 2: That, yeah, right, like in a punitive way, like I think.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 4: I also think if if it wasn't so clear that
Speaker 4: that storyline is like circulatory, now one has run its course.
Speaker 4: And also I do think we've seen all of her
Speaker 4: tricks in terms of like funny things she can say, do,
Speaker 4: et cetera.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we can lose mia. And and also
Speaker 2: I think I.
Speaker 3: Think she's just like a straight up villain. Yeah, Like
Speaker 3: I think it's you see the good sides of every
Speaker 3: housewife and you love the good sides of them as well.
Speaker 3: With Mia, it's just getting harder and harder to understand,
Speaker 3: like where's the yea, where's the side of you that's
Speaker 3: really I mean walking off for her kids. If if
Speaker 3: I were to believe that that was I think it
Speaker 3: was partly why she walked off. I believe that, but
Speaker 3: like walking off was like maybe the most redeemable or
Speaker 3: she did where I'm like, okay, yeah, stand up for
Speaker 3: get out of there if you're not. But the problem is,
Speaker 3: I've seen so much of her behavior is like sort
Speaker 3: of mean spirited or manipulative that now it's hard for
Speaker 3: me to believe that when she does something redeemable it
Speaker 3: actually is for the right reasons. Sorry to use ABC language, No, no, no, but.
Speaker 2: She Yeah, her walking off is a redeemable thing, but
Speaker 2: she still walks off like she's like at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, she's still is pulling away from the
Speaker 2: whole thing in a way that you're like, well, then
Speaker 2: you don't, then you can't, then you shouldn't be here. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And you're in that position because you did this to
Speaker 2: your children, Like it's like, yeah, sure you're walking off
Speaker 2: because not my kids.
Speaker 4: But it's like, we wouldn't have it not my kids
Speaker 4: situation had you not broken the divorce to the kids
Speaker 4: on the on camera. Yeah, it just doesn't really math
Speaker 4: for that to be the thing. That's like like as
Speaker 4: if Gizelle had crossed the line. And trust me, Like,
Speaker 4: I don't have love for Gizelle Bryant, but my thing
Speaker 4: is like she's she's expressing her views on it, which
Speaker 4: were a lot of the viewers, you know, positions which
Speaker 4: was we can't really believe you when I kind.
Speaker 2: Of do like Gizelle, that's okay, and that's a that's
Speaker 2: kind of an opinion.
Speaker 3: She's such and that and that, and that's an opinion,
Speaker 3: and we're just chucking it.
Speaker 2: We're just chucking it around. I'll chuck it with Gizelle.
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing I think she is. She's a Debbie
Speaker 3: Downer for sure, huh. But I do relate, yes, as
Speaker 3: a Debbie downer, I do relate. My problem with Gazelle
Speaker 3: is when she stirs the pot. Yeah, no reason that.
Speaker 4: No, That's the thing is I don't think she's not
Speaker 4: a compelling person, Like I actually think she sores when
Speaker 4: she's like dealing with something personal or with her family,
Speaker 4: et cetera like that, or when she.
Speaker 3: Like, like I thought, that's so psychotic to throw them
Speaker 3: out of that Oh so crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they got there.
Speaker 4: I feel like when she seemed genuinely concerned for Karen,
Speaker 4: I was like, this is the kind of thing that, like,
Speaker 4: you know, not everyone can do on television, right, Like
Speaker 4: I do think like, and she wouldn't be on television
Speaker 4: for this song if there wasn't a lot there. It's
Speaker 4: the very transparent producing that I don't like, and I
Speaker 4: don't like it when anywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she does do that. She does do that a lot,
Speaker 2: and the Karen stuff.
Speaker 3: I do feel like Gizelle probably produces a lot in
Speaker 3: her own life though, I'm like, you're a producer in general.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because her life is kind of like a reality
Speaker 2: show anyway, Like, yeah, what's his face with Jamalrow?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, the guy, the guy. So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm I've gotten really into Beverly Hills this year and
Speaker 3: I and I did enjoy Potomac. I kind of dipped
Speaker 3: off at the end, but I did tune in.
Speaker 2: For the reunion. Atlanta had a really good premiere episode.
Speaker 2: I heard and I will say this. You know what
Speaker 2: I'll do? I think, so honey, Hey, yeah, yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's time for I don't think so money. This is
Speaker 2: our one minute segment where we rarely get something in culture. Yes,
Speaker 2: m h I mind. Wait, mine is going to be controversial. Okay,
Speaker 2: is mine?
Speaker 4: Because mine is housewives related and it's going to be
Speaker 4: controversial because and it might get me a little bit
Speaker 4: in trouble, but I'm going to do it anything.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so
Speaker 2: many as time starts now, I.
Speaker 4: Don't think so honey. Hating on Porscha Williams for the
Speaker 4: for the stealing the man thing, I feel like we
Speaker 4: don't know what happened. And I feel like the thing
Speaker 4: with Porsche is I believe that she is a bleeding heart,
Speaker 4: and I believe that she is really susceptible to men
Speaker 4: and their manipulation, and that is not It's sure, it's
Speaker 4: a character flaw, but it's not an evil thing about her.
Speaker 4: I think when people are like she's a home wrecker,
Speaker 4: fuck her, I don't I hate the homewreckerd label because
Speaker 4: I think it sort of gets across like an evil
Speaker 4: person that wants to ruin lives. I do not think
Speaker 4: that's who Porscha Williams is. I think that she was
Speaker 4: in a situation where sure she had met a woman's
Speaker 4: husband on television and then they got divorced. I think
Speaker 4: a lot can actually happen in eighteen days. Maybe you're
Speaker 4: not a mannic Pisces at home fifteen, but I can
Speaker 4: tell you a lot can happen in two or three days.
Speaker 4: I've been in situations I didn't want to be in,
Speaker 4: but my feelings in my heart were telling me one thing,
Speaker 4: And I think it can happen when you are Porsha
Speaker 4: Williams or Matt Rogers, and if you are, give us
Speaker 4: our identities back. But I don't think so honey, condemning
Speaker 4: her for this thing which obviously didn't work out.
Speaker 2: She's also paying for it now, I don't think, so honey,
Speaker 2: this is added and that's one minute. That's how I
Speaker 2: feel like. I feel like, of.
Speaker 4: Course, when I heard that Porsia had gotten with Simon Golbadia,
Speaker 4: whose Foulon Gbadia's ex husband, like that, soon after I
Speaker 4: was like, Wow, that sounds like a really weird situation.
Speaker 4: But I just don't like it when people are like,
Speaker 4: fuck her home record, etcetera, there must have been cheating,
Speaker 4: et cetera. It's like, you don't know a lot could
Speaker 4: have happened in that two and a half weeks after
Speaker 4: my God and matters of the Harder.
Speaker 3: I got engaged in three days during the pandemic.
Speaker 2: There you go, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: But some of us cannot sit home alone.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, love that. It was really that that short.
Speaker 2: It was three days. The engagement was three days.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, we got engaged within three days, like
Speaker 3: pandemic lockdown started three days later.
Speaker 2: She's what I'm saying. That's like, you you know how
Speaker 2: we'll know she's a villain if she shows up on
Speaker 2: the show with one eye and she wears a cape
Speaker 2: made of dogs and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: In this world where villains look like villains. From now on, please, bitches,
Speaker 4: My thing is like this, real villains out there, one
Speaker 4: of them is president. Let's not let's not waste energy
Speaker 4: on Portia Williams her ruin her own life.
Speaker 2: She's going to do it.
Speaker 3: It's episode one too.
Speaker 4: I am saying it had an amazing premiere and Shamiah
Speaker 4: Morton is not like the center character, and I didn't
Speaker 4: know that she really could carry that center. But I said,
Speaker 4: kudos to them for making that swing because it paid off.
Speaker 4: It's she's I didn't realize that she had all of
Speaker 4: that going on. Yeah, but she's gonna be really fun
Speaker 4: to watch. I wait, I need to watch it too.
Speaker 4: You're doing a house that's one two?
Speaker 3: Yes? No, no, no, no no, I'm not doing housewives.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you'll go next, I'll do I'll do one
Speaker 2: anyway because I actually I have an idea. Now, okay, good,
Speaker 2: this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, Honey's time
Speaker 2: starts now. I don't think so, Honey, Ashley Darby, because
Speaker 2: you know who might have also paid for her significant other?
Speaker 2: Ashley Darby? Who is that guy? Who is that guy?
Speaker 2: And she can't even take a joke about how he
Speaker 2: does look like Jack Harlow And even if he does it,
Speaker 2: Wendy still made a fun joke. The premise has to
Speaker 2: be true. The premises he looks like Jack Jack? What's
Speaker 2: Jack Carlow? And I mean, Ashley Darby? The nonsense you
Speaker 2: pulled this season. You You were seeded so far into
Speaker 2: the background this season that I forgot you were even
Speaker 2: on the damn show. You didn't deserve to sit that
Speaker 2: close standy at the reunion, and you should have owned
Speaker 2: up to the lies you did spread about Eddie, because
Speaker 2: even though you did not come from you, you helped
Speaker 2: bring it to a national platform on the show, and
Speaker 2: you need to take some accountability for that. I've never
Speaker 2: found you funny, never found you cute. You look good
Speaker 2: in Drag I guess as a man, but was otherwise.
Speaker 2: I don't care for your antics anymore. If you can
Speaker 2: even call at that congratulations on your divorce being finalized.
Speaker 2: But even that situation is very telling about the kind
Speaker 2: of person you are.
Speaker 4: And that's one minute. Also, the one thing you missed
Speaker 4: the kissing with Jacqueline kill me. It was so dumb
Speaker 4: and fake and I was desperate people in the world
Speaker 4: without telling you.
Speaker 2: Yes, the way she walked is she's like so talk
Speaker 2: absence of attraction to each other.
Speaker 4: Yeah, truly, you know what what that was giving was
Speaker 4: Ashley knowing she had no storyline and that the Jack
Speaker 4: Carlo thing is like not real.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also Japlin being like something that's not me. Yes,
Speaker 2: I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, actually be like no, we
Speaker 2: don't need a fuck like yeah, totally, totally, totally, yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: I was Anyway, I'm busy getting ready.
Speaker 4: Yeah, think about being a human and like walking into
Speaker 4: that thing with the camera on you and having that
Speaker 4: stupid interaction.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, they called the care guys into
Speaker 2: the too that bathroom.
Speaker 3: I've done student films that were actually less sad.
Speaker 2: And we're going to show them right after this tune in. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is Rosebbaker. I don't think so many of her
Speaker 2: time starts now.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think so, honey. Seven season two's pacing.
Speaker 3: Do you guys have the audacity to keep us waiting
Speaker 3: two years only to drop one episode like this is
Speaker 3: network television nineteen ninety seven. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 3: We are not on the severed floor. Okay, we remember
Speaker 3: what you did to us last time. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 3: We are five episodes in, and what do we have
Speaker 3: to show for it? A little espionage, a little cryptic
Speaker 3: workplace dread that is a Tuesday for us?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, where is the momentum? What happened?
Speaker 3: Where's the what the hell just happened? Energy that we
Speaker 3: just signed up for? Because right now, honey, it feels
Speaker 3: like I'm sitting through a corporate training video and the
Speaker 3: pacing I've had actual miscarriages.
Speaker 2: Move faster.
Speaker 3: Okay, the whole show is just walking, staring, whispering cryptic
Speaker 3: nonsense like the baby goats, bitch, what about the goats? Okay,
Speaker 3: and I swear for one more character just stares.
Speaker 2: At something for a full.
Speaker 3: Fifteen second instead of saying something, I'm gonna throw my
Speaker 3: Apple TV remote into the ocean.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: I know there's so much more. I just I don't
Speaker 3: think so.
Speaker 2: And that's why, literally we have I have so much more.
Speaker 3: I literally am like, I have a lot of feelings
Speaker 3: about this because I've stuck with it until last episode,
Speaker 3: where there was like four bottle episodes in a row.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?
Speaker 3: It feels like people, I'm getting upset and I listen,
Speaker 3: if they can land the plane, God bless them, I
Speaker 3: will be blown away.
Speaker 4: I trust them to land the plane just because it
Speaker 4: feels like it's moments of greatness are so great. But
Speaker 4: I would agree I had a really hard time with
Speaker 4: the first season because sometimes and.
Speaker 2: Like that that was also.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Patricia Arquatt literally went to an old friend turned
Speaker 3: enemy he did not want anything to do with her.
Speaker 3: Was like, please, I need to borrow your truck. He's
Speaker 3: like no, why would I give.
Speaker 2: You my truck.
Speaker 3: She gets in the truck for He's like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll drive you somewhere. Then she gets out. She's like
Speaker 3: looking for something that she literally contacted a past friend
Speaker 3: turned enemy for walks into the house to go look
Speaker 3: for it, and fucking takes a six hour nap, looks
Speaker 3: for it for two minutes to take six hour nap.
Speaker 2: I was like, what, so, what is what? What are
Speaker 2: you looking for?
Speaker 4: We'll have to hope it pays off for me. The
Speaker 4: second season just needs a lot more Patricia Arcat Yeah,
Speaker 4: like that was one of the great things about the
Speaker 4: first season.
Speaker 3: I agree they needed a lot more Patricia. I mean
Speaker 3: what they gave us of Patricia is I'm not happy
Speaker 3: because she's amazing. Yeah, and she was so good when
Speaker 3: she was like just female rage behind the wheel of
Speaker 3: a car.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: I love a woman on the verge, yes, you know,
Speaker 3: and then this whole episode, this whole thing where she's
Speaker 3: they're trying to explain what her whole deal is with
Speaker 3: Luman and also why the why does everybody talk so
Speaker 3: fucking stupid one sentence like a human being. I mean,
Speaker 3: that's part of why I love that the character on
Speaker 3: Cherry's character, Yes, where she's just like, what's up, guys? Yeah,
Speaker 3: Instead they're like, we're going to tend the garden?
Speaker 2: What garden?
Speaker 3: What even?
Speaker 2: Where even is that?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And what about the baby goats? And what about the
Speaker 3: fucking trap door or whatever?
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 4: Feeling losty for some well, I think I think, well,
Speaker 4: it's interesting, like I've actually heard that a lot of
Speaker 4: people that are watching Severance and absolutely loving it are
Speaker 4: really not liking White Lotus. And I think that you've
Speaker 4: heard a lot of the same things about them both
Speaker 4: being slow. So and then my friend said, a whitaker
Speaker 4: said this the other day he went to go watch
Speaker 4: White Lotus with a bunch of our friends who love Severance,
Speaker 4: and he said, they were watching White Lotus like that's
Speaker 4: a clue.
Speaker 2: That's a clue. That's a clue. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: so I get it.
Speaker 4: It's like some people want to watch this like it's
Speaker 4: like a puzzle, and other people want to watch it
Speaker 4: like it's like a shatirical comedy, like it's gossip exactly,
Speaker 4: and so I am, give me gossip, give me my month,
Speaker 4: like delicious.
Speaker 3: So funny because I literally thought when Helena came in,
Speaker 3: I was like, good on her because the way that
Speaker 3: I would have been fired for sexual misconduct on day
Speaker 3: two at that office, just trying to make something happen,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, God, bless, he's the only person that's
Speaker 3: made anything happen.
Speaker 4: But I just think it's like, it's funny that these
Speaker 4: two shows are on at the same time and like
Speaker 4: the water cooler shows of the moment, and they obviously
Speaker 4: come out week to week, which you know, forbids people
Speaker 4: from binging them, and I think it has something to
Speaker 4: do with our attention spans that we're saying. But also
Speaker 4: the fact is, like I guess when there's a lack
Speaker 4: of prestige elsewhere, we'll just sit and have to wait.
Speaker 4: It's I just think two of them are offering two
Speaker 4: different things. Severnce is a puzzle and White Lotus is
Speaker 4: like a prestige soap.
Speaker 3: Well, Severance needs to release all three of the last
Speaker 3: episodes together because I honestly, I need to be able
Speaker 3: to spit like speed it up myself because if it's
Speaker 3: appointment television, yeah, and I'm falling asleep in the middle
Speaker 3: of every.
Speaker 2: Episode, right, that's a problem.
Speaker 3: I mean, I will say I'll take fifty percent of
Speaker 3: the that's my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like, come on, come on, come on, yeah,
Speaker 2: whiz bang something. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff. Lately.
Speaker 2: We just watched a movie that was it promised more
Speaker 2: action than delivered, and I'm like, well, then, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think people would sign up for something that was
Speaker 2: like a slow burn thing. But yeah, it is nice to.
Speaker 3: Say I am a white Lotus girl though. I love
Speaker 3: you said that because I didn't realize it.
Speaker 4: It was like, I don't even think it's moving slow.
Speaker 4: It's just it's funny. The people that are saying it's
Speaker 4: moving too slow are the puzzle.
Speaker 2: People are watching it, who love a show that is
Speaker 2: moving that is in fact moving too slow. Yes, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say something, and this is just the next extrapolation
Speaker 2: of what I've been saying for years. Chuck it and
Speaker 2: net chuck it. Netflix has been doing this. I would
Speaker 2: encourage other streaming platforms to do this. One point five speed,
Speaker 2: one point five, one point seven five speed even one
Speaker 2: point two five? Wait, no, no, you're anti this? No,
Speaker 2: of course I understand. I understand. If you're anti I
Speaker 2: used to be anti this. Why is it a bridge
Speaker 2: too far for you? That makes me so sad?
Speaker 3: I know, I know, because we are watching television, we
Speaker 3: are not reading.
Speaker 2: Fine, fine, you're right. Actually that's a great, great art.
Speaker 3: You know what it reminds me of. Okay, it reminds
Speaker 3: me of like when I was drinking, right, I would
Speaker 3: if a friend was like concerned with my drinking, I
Speaker 3: would adjust. I would adjust my life to make way
Speaker 3: for my drinking. If we start that with TV, if
Speaker 3: we start adjusting our lives to make up for our
Speaker 3: short detention spam.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a very slipper. Okay, you're right, I
Speaker 2: take it back. You know what, though, I will say,
Speaker 2: it's scary. What about for the mind? So so yes,
Speaker 2: for something like prestige like these shows were talking about.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's art. It is paced, it's edited, it's like
Speaker 4: specifically made for whatever the.
Speaker 2: Pace is relatives, and that's why, like I think one
Speaker 2: point five is fine anyway initially, but now I take
Speaker 2: it back okay, but I used to really get upset
Speaker 2: when people said they listen to this podcast at like
Speaker 2: one point five one point sometimes one point seven five A,
Speaker 2: how are you doing that with us?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: That must sound truly like I'm in my brain all
Speaker 2: the time, and I don't want to be in your
Speaker 2: brain all the time. Like mice, I am running that
Speaker 2: fast all the time. If you can listen to us
Speaker 2: at one point seven five clinical.
Speaker 3: I've been sitting here for an hour looking at you guys,
Speaker 3: going wow, they're so good at just getting it out.
Speaker 3: Nine years in the game talking just getting it out
Speaker 3: quickly and quick witted.
Speaker 2: I have been asked by people i'm on dates with, like, so,
Speaker 2: how how much dead air do you have to cut out?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, we don't know that and they're like what,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, yeah, we just we took it up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we'll pick it up.
Speaker 3: And it's amazing, it's amazing. I was literally talking to
Speaker 3: sarahbout it this morning. I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: they're so quick, they're so good. I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't have it takes me so long to form.
Speaker 2: A thought that has proven to be true here today. Well,
Speaker 2: because I honestly even checking it.
Speaker 3: But that's because I drink so I was checking back.
Speaker 2: COFFEESD was that something to do?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: But I did do it. I did it.
Speaker 3: When I talked to Sydney, she was like, because I
Speaker 3: talked to Sydney last night and she was she had
Speaker 3: just come from an espresso and I was like, you're
Speaker 3: like a different person right now.
Speaker 2: I love what this is doing for you.
Speaker 3: And she was like, I just I feel like I
Speaker 3: really got a good set or whatever. And I was like,
Speaker 3: doing that tomorrow.
Speaker 2: He's a Celsius king. I'm a Celsius king. I mean,
Speaker 2: the whole office is. I love Celsius. It's so good.
Speaker 3: It's so good, and it's so much better than coffee
Speaker 3: because I do just feel like I am on a
Speaker 3: steady stream of crack cocaine.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, it's just an x R extended release.
Speaker 3: Yes yeah, no real like who like it just sort
Speaker 3: of slow up and then and then you're not and
Speaker 3: you're landing upside down.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter on Celsius. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I find that even the upside down landing is
Speaker 2: not as bad as like a full on crash. No,
Speaker 2: it's just you're upside down, but you're you're kind of
Speaker 2: still alive to the ground. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Did you hear Dakota Johnson say she thought it was
Speaker 4: like a healthy fruit drink. She had like six or
Speaker 4: seven of them, and when she was like actually like
Speaker 4: having a conniption on the set, and she was just
Speaker 4: like because it's like no, it's like it's a lot
Speaker 4: of even one is like you're gonna be zoom.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's my nightmare. The first time I
Speaker 3: had five hour energy, I had like a full on
Speaker 3: breakdown in the street.
Speaker 2: I was like five hour was like that was an overhead.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was crazy.
Speaker 2: That was too much.
Speaker 3: It was way too much. It should not have been legal.
Speaker 3: I think it still is.
Speaker 2: You definitely can still get it. I remember like.
Speaker 3: It's a seven eleven purchase for reasons it is.
Speaker 2: And they look like poppers too.
Speaker 3: They do?
Speaker 2: They do? Put him right next? Can I get that
Speaker 2: little bottle? And that little bottle I want to get
Speaker 2: absolutely ampt and dilated.
Speaker 3: You hold them both up and you're like.
Speaker 2: This has been so fun. This has been so fun fun.
Speaker 2: The mother Load It's on Netflix now. Most Lady Tour, Baltimore,
Speaker 2: Edmonton Sacramento, Cleveland, somewhere in there. You do have a
Speaker 2: better memory than you think. No, he's great, that's short term.
Speaker 3: I literally was like, is there a teleprompter?
Speaker 2: Oh Andrew going on head mcmaon's cruise. Absolutely not cruise. Yes, yes, that's.
Speaker 3: Going to be so many women like Adele vacation braids.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be a problem. You should should be like, hey, ladies, know,
Speaker 2: is everyone feeling like Adele tonight? It's just like my imagine.
Speaker 3: I go in there with like full extensions, like actual
Speaker 3: wefts of extensions, trying to braid those I.
Speaker 2: Want them to be real, visible visible. My favorite thing
Speaker 2: is like like this, someone who someone who either doesn't
Speaker 2: care or doesn't know that their extensions are wildly out. Yes,
Speaker 2: that was me on my wedding, And it's a look
Speaker 2: I thought you looked amazing. They show up in the pictures.
Speaker 2: I look like fucking Heather on the beach. I need
Speaker 2: I need to tell you, I need to go. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it made it even better better.
Speaker 3: I love it. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2: This is a joy. Well. We end every episode with
Speaker 2: a song that's right by It's Donnie's Last day with
Speaker 2: Us by John It's Donnie who operates our cameras. It's
Speaker 2: our last day of us.
Speaker 4: He's literally the cutest person in the world, so we
Speaker 4: just want to say he's moving on to another job.
Speaker 4: And actually the song that we want to sing is
Speaker 4: what's a goodbye song?
Speaker 7: Hope You, Hope You Day, Tani, we Hope you Day,
Speaker 7: We Hope you.
Speaker 2: Duell and Finance, Dull and Last Cultures. This is the
Speaker 2: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players in iHeart Radio Podcasts.
Speaker 4: Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, Executive
Speaker 4: produced by Anna Hasnier and.
Speaker 2: Produced by Becker Ramos, Edited mixed by Doug Baby Anisela
Speaker 2: Board and our music is by Henry Komirski