Speaker 1: All from Jade.
Speaker 2: Hello, Yo, my god, is it wild?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Who's this?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? This is Jade. I've been like trying
Speaker 1: to call for like two years. What the buck, Jade?
Speaker 3: What's going on? How's life?
Speaker 1: Not a car? Life is terrible? I've it's been rough.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 3: Why I so?
Speaker 1: I just lost my job, that's cool. The place I've
Speaker 1: been working at was like, hey, we gotta do budget cuts,
Speaker 1: you gotta fire someone. That one someone neut. I was like, man,
Speaker 1: that sucks, and I cried about it. And then I've
Speaker 1: been applying to a lot of jobs and no one
Speaker 1: is hiring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I just it just really is
Speaker 3: so crazy that we need money to live. This is
Speaker 3: where this is. I'm going to get into, Like I
Speaker 3: don't know anything about economics or life or politics or whatever,
Speaker 3: but it's like it's just shouldn't we have there's enough
Speaker 3: food and stuff, and like, you know, we're gonna shouldn't
Speaker 3: we get robots to just do everything for us and
Speaker 3: then we can each hall of enough to just like
Speaker 3: hang out. You know, it's just crazy that we need
Speaker 3: to we need to work to live. Or maybe it's
Speaker 3: not crazy, maybe it makes sense. And I'm dumb. I
Speaker 3: don't know, I'm I'm not. I mean whatever.
Speaker 1: For me personally, I like working, having just a thing
Speaker 1: to do that important for me. Yeah, it's an important thing,
Speaker 1: you know. Uh. But on the other hand, it's like
Speaker 1: this fucking sucks at all times that I'm at work.
Speaker 1: I want to fucking kill myself. Can I say that? Anyways?
Speaker 1: Do whatever you want to make It's yeah, it's rough, dude.
Speaker 1: And I mean, like, I'm taking care of my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She's like super disabled. I mean, I she's also pregnant
Speaker 1: right now, which is a little crazy crazy. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm really scared about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh. She has metal rods in her legs, so there's
Speaker 1: like a chance and like a plate in her hip,
Speaker 1: there's a chance like when she gives birth, like legs
Speaker 1: could just like explode, you know, which would not be
Speaker 1: very epic. I don't think.
Speaker 3: I mean, it'd be a little epic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be kind of cool, Like if.
Speaker 3: You're gonna if you're I'm I don't think it'd be good.
Speaker 3: But if you're using the word epic, I think it
Speaker 3: would be a little epic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, little bit.
Speaker 3: What job were you fired from?
Speaker 1: It was a it was basically a lion cook position
Speaker 1: out like a pizza place. All I did every day
Speaker 1: was I was the dough person. I would make dough
Speaker 1: and fucking cut it into the circles so they can
Speaker 1: make the pizzas.
Speaker 3: But uh, yeah, you're Italian.
Speaker 1: I mean actually my family is very Italian unfortunately through
Speaker 1: in breeding. But thinks like my great grandparents or first cousins.
Speaker 3: Hm, but are you are? You were your your parents
Speaker 3: weren't cousins? Were they?
Speaker 1: No? Thank god that I feel like I'd be like
Speaker 1: twice as fucked up as my parents were. Like related, Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm not already. I mean like I'm autistic as shit,
Speaker 1: I'm just gizophrenic. It's not not a good combination there.
Speaker 3: Well, you seem cool to me.
Speaker 1: Well, unfortunately jobs do not think so.
Speaker 3: I mean, why why do you think jobs don't think
Speaker 3: that you're cool?
Speaker 1: When I mean I've noticed in a lot of interviews
Speaker 1: when jobs realize that you are not I don't want
Speaker 1: to say normal, but like if you're a little bit
Speaker 1: weird or like a little bit strange, job is.
Speaker 3: Gonna be like, well, here's the thing, Jade, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, we've been talking for about four minutes now,
Speaker 3: and I don't know who you are, so, I mean
Speaker 3: I just from from the other end of the table,
Speaker 3: you are somebody. If if you hadn't have told me
Speaker 3: that there was anything going on, uh, my first impression
Speaker 3: of you just from speaking to you would not be
Speaker 3: that there was anything grossly abnormal about you.
Speaker 1: Well, that is very kind to hear.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, I do not have any Pazza places that I
Speaker 3: own that you can work at. But if I did, yeah,
Speaker 3: i'd hire you.
Speaker 1: Fortunately, you know that's I don't know. It's like I'm
Speaker 1: not even getting interviews, which is the fucked un part.
Speaker 1: It's like, I have a good resume, I have like
Speaker 1: five six years of restaurant experience. Like what am I
Speaker 1: supposed to do?
Speaker 3: You know, it's so hard. It's so hard. It's like funny,
Speaker 3: it's it. You know, it's hard to get any kind
Speaker 3: of job even like you know, there's all these people
Speaker 3: out there like trying to be you know, YouTubers or
Speaker 3: actors or artists or whatever, and everyone's like, oh you
Speaker 3: have you got to know somebody. It's so hard. But
Speaker 3: it's hard to get a fucking job at a pizza place. Dude.
Speaker 3: It's hard. To get a job anywhere. You know, it's
Speaker 3: hard to It's fucking hard, man.
Speaker 1: I feel you like a walk into a place like
Speaker 1: I walked into this, this fucking restaurant of like a
Speaker 1: week ago. I'm like, here are you guys hiring? And
Speaker 1: they're like, yes, we are supergently hiring. We need to
Speaker 1: come on in the kitchen. I'm like, well, here's my resume.
Speaker 1: I have five years of experience. And then they didn't
Speaker 1: fucking call me back.
Speaker 3: What like, I don't know, I don't Yeah, what does
Speaker 3: your girlfriend do?
Speaker 1: She so she works part time at a like a
Speaker 1: fish store. I guess you could call it like an
Speaker 1: exotic fish store. It's got like salt water on one side,
Speaker 1: freshwater on the other. Uh. Same with my roommate, who's
Speaker 1: also technically gonna be a second, well third parent to
Speaker 1: the kid because he can have kids like he's and
Speaker 1: he's always wanting a kid. So we're like, you know,
Speaker 1: you can help raise our kid.
Speaker 3: Wait, so the third who's who's vagina? Is the baby
Speaker 3: coming out of.
Speaker 1: My girlfriends?
Speaker 3: Okay? So okay, well you said third parent. I was like,
Speaker 3: is there a double penetration thing going on where it's
Speaker 3: like so let's just cut it down the middle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking now, he just uh he always want to
Speaker 1: have a kid, And they're like, you know, you can
Speaker 1: be another basically another dad to the kid.
Speaker 3: And wait, for real, you're just the room. The roommate
Speaker 3: is just like, hey, you guys are having a kid.
Speaker 3: That looks pretty cool. Can I have Can I have
Speaker 3: a little piece of your kid? Like he's asking like
Speaker 3: he's asking for a bite of your food, but with
Speaker 3: your kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty much as casual as that. You're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, we we could use the help around.
Speaker 3: You know, how do you know this roommate? This isn't
Speaker 3: just like a Craigslist roommate.
Speaker 2: Is it? No?
Speaker 1: Fuck no? He so he went to my high school
Speaker 1: and then I like didn't see him for a while.
Speaker 1: And then it turns out he started working with my
Speaker 1: girlfriend at the fish store. Uh, and he needed a
Speaker 1: place to be a roommate. I'm like, I already know him,
Speaker 1: you already know him, might as well. And then it
Speaker 1: went from there.
Speaker 3: So I guess I don't understand, like this, how this
Speaker 3: man has purchased shares of your child, Like he's just
Speaker 3: he's just a dad. What's the arrangement here.
Speaker 1: Yea, it's like, oh my god, what there's a there's
Speaker 1: a show where there's multiple dads to like multiple kids.
Speaker 1: I can't even remember what it is. It's some sitcom,
Speaker 1: but anyways, it's just like the kid's gonna call him dad.
Speaker 1: The kid's gonna call my girlfri and mom called me mom.
Speaker 1: I mean, no, that's not that crazy.
Speaker 3: Okay, So the kid will have two moms and one dad.
Speaker 3: Two moms, one dad yet and the dad he's.
Speaker 1: A parent teacher conference. Is a little awkward, but.
Speaker 3: So your friend from high school is just down to
Speaker 3: be your kid's dad. He's not you guys aren't in
Speaker 3: like a whole poly crazy thing, are you?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, Like that was specifically something he requested,
Speaker 1: was like I do not want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with either of you. No offense, but we're like
Speaker 1: gonna he has like day people, so.
Speaker 3: He can kind of he can he can sort of
Speaker 3: dip out at any time he wants. You know, he's
Speaker 3: not even like a real dad.
Speaker 1: Technically he could, but I don't think he will. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's like super excited about the whole thing. He's wanted
Speaker 1: a kid ever since a long time, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a weird little situation we got, but okay, it
Speaker 1: all works out.
Speaker 3: That's crazy that like, in whatever state you live in,
Speaker 3: it's easier to like become some kid's dad without doing
Speaker 3: anything than it is to get a job at a
Speaker 3: pizza place.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, dude.
Speaker 3: I mean, is he gonna pay for the kid? Is
Speaker 3: he helping pay for the kid? Is he like financially
Speaker 3: supporting you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he is financially supporting. I mean he's already like
Speaker 1: bought stuff for the kid preemptively, like baby crib, I
Speaker 1: forget the fuck off the counter, sorry my cat baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's just on the fucking counter. They're actually both at
Speaker 1: work right now. But yeah, basically he wants to financially support,
Speaker 1: be there like emotionally for the kid, help do everything,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think it's good because like, having
Speaker 1: three parents is better than.
Speaker 3: Two, I suppose. So I suppose it takes it takes uh,
Speaker 3: it takes a roommate, true.
Speaker 1: I mean unless we make the kids like three times
Speaker 1: as fucked up, then that I don't think that's good.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, what was the kid an accident or did
Speaker 3: you plan the kid.
Speaker 1: So we did plan the kids what's called uh, but
Speaker 1: we've been telling everyone we didn't plan the kid because well,
Speaker 1: it was mostly my girlfriend. He said that because she
Speaker 1: was very scared that people would judge us because we
Speaker 1: aren't the most financially well off. I mean even now
Speaker 1: considering I just lost my job, but like we have
Speaker 1: our own place, but it's it's definitely been a struggle
Speaker 1: money line, but we're working on it. We're getting there.
Speaker 3: And so, okay, so it was planned, but you're telling
Speaker 3: people it wasn't. Yes, basically okay because you're afraid that
Speaker 3: they will judge you for having a kid without being
Speaker 3: like financially stable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3: Okay, how long have you been planning on having a
Speaker 3: kid for?
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't say ever since we've started dating,
Speaker 1: but like the ideas is fluted around, but I guess,
Speaker 1: like this just this year, we've been really set on
Speaker 1: planning it having it happen.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. And well, I mean I get look, I
Speaker 3: mean I guess you have three incomes. Does the does
Speaker 3: the truth does the guy is the guy have a
Speaker 3: job the roommate.
Speaker 1: Yes, he works at the same place my girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Does Okay, so that's.
Speaker 1: Also convenient with like rides and everything, and yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean speaking's difficult anyways. Three incomes is good, but it's
Speaker 1: also bad because if we apply for financial aid through
Speaker 1: the government, right, I mean, I suppose we could leave
Speaker 1: off the roommate, but like it'll still show based on
Speaker 1: like legal filings and everything, that like a third person
Speaker 1: lives here, which makes our chances for like food stamps
Speaker 1: and insurance and stuff a lot slimmer in some regards.
Speaker 3: How old are you?
Speaker 1: Shit, I wasn't so I am twenty. My girlfriend is
Speaker 1: twenty four, and the roommate is twenty two.
Speaker 3: Okay, is this something you've always wanted to do?
Speaker 1: I mean I've wanted kids most because, like I'm in
Speaker 1: a mindset of I want a kid to make sure
Speaker 1: that kid grows up a lot better than I did,
Speaker 1: you know, because my parents were like fucking horrible. I
Speaker 1: mean I was adopted when I was young. Uh went
Speaker 1: too with my aunt and uncle, who were the people
Speaker 1: that adopted me. They were just fucking batshit terrible, you know.
Speaker 1: M hm. So yeah, having a kid to make up
Speaker 1: for that, I guess, but also like having a kids cool,
Speaker 1: you know, mm hmm, just having have a little guy
Speaker 1: run around.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Well hm hmm. I mean I I I
Speaker 3: I hope you find your way into a happy life, Jade,
Speaker 3: I really do do doo.
Speaker 1: It's just it feels like every step my life, every
Speaker 1: time I get to a point where I'm like, I'm happy,
Speaker 1: everything's going great, it just like taken away immediately. I mean,
Speaker 1: like I've been laid off from so many jobs for
Speaker 1: like similar reasons or like, God, the last two places
Speaker 1: I worked that fucking shut down. I mean there were
Speaker 1: both restaurants that like couldn't survive financially, so which also
Speaker 1: doesn't look good on a resume.
Speaker 3: But when why do you why do you feel like
Speaker 3: you become happy and then things and then that you
Speaker 3: so you feel as though the carpet is always being
Speaker 3: pulled from underneath you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, because I'll get the points in my
Speaker 1: life where because for me, like change is really hard,
Speaker 1: Like I like having a set schedule, having it so
Speaker 1: I know exactly what's going to happen when it happens,
Speaker 1: you know, And like right as I feel like I've
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where I have a routine again,
Speaker 1: I know everything's going to be all right. I'm financially stable.
Speaker 1: Some it happens.
Speaker 3: Mm hm m hmm. Well again, I mean, Jade, you
Speaker 3: got you got a lot working. I I I think
Speaker 3: look like I said, I think that you present as
Speaker 3: a as a perfectly uh competent human being. That if
Speaker 3: I owned a grocery store or cafe or bar restaurant,
Speaker 3: I would have you there whipping up cocktails, putting parmesan
Speaker 3: on on on pizza. You know, it sucks. It's the
Speaker 3: job market is just so so fucked man. This is
Speaker 3: so hard to uh you know, it's.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And it's not like I can't like adapt the change.
Speaker 1: I mean I do every time I learned to level out,
Speaker 1: but always just it sucks. It's not that I'm upset
Speaker 1: about it. It sucks, you know. It's like I can
Speaker 1: deal with it, but I don't get to complain about it,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I I mean, look, I mean, look, everything
Speaker 3: everything changes when you have a kid, right, everything changes
Speaker 3: when you have a kid, and then your life really
Speaker 3: just just isn't about It's unfortunate. But I and and
Speaker 3: maybe I'm talking to my ask here. I've never had
Speaker 3: a child before, but it just seems to me abstractly
Speaker 3: that once you have a kid, your life, just for
Speaker 3: at least a little while, is no longer about you
Speaker 3: and your happiness, right, because you made the decision to
Speaker 3: bring another kid into a universe, which is maybe the
Speaker 3: the most maybe the most amount of responsibility a human
Speaker 3: being can take on, right, And so you've got to
Speaker 3: make sacrifices to take on that responsibility. And I don't
Speaker 3: maybe sometimes that involves sacrificing your happiness a little bit,
Speaker 3: you know, and hopefully you don't take that out on
Speaker 3: the kid, right, because I mean, it's a really it's
Speaker 3: the hugest decision of ARSA could possibly make.
Speaker 1: True. Yeah, I mean, I've come to terms with that that, like,
Speaker 1: this is a big decision in my life that although
Speaker 1: other people, like a lot of people in my life,
Speaker 1: when I've told them, like, hey, my girlfriend's pregnant, the
Speaker 1: first thing that they bring up is you're unprepared, or
Speaker 1: like something along the lines of a lot of things
Speaker 1: people bring up is because I have these mental issues
Speaker 1: because I'm autistic. They're like, for one, I don't think
Speaker 1: you're ready to have that kid, you know, But on
Speaker 1: the other hand, it's like, are you sure your kid
Speaker 1: is not going to be like autistic as shit. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, the kid is I don't think that's
Speaker 1: a bad thing, you know, But I.
Speaker 3: Would put I would, I mean, I would whatever, whatever,
Speaker 3: whatever mental issues that you're struggling with, I would put
Speaker 3: them at the very pot of of of the list
Speaker 3: of you know, things to be uh thinking about it
Speaker 3: in this in this regard, and I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: I think it's important to be generally stable if you're
Speaker 3: going to be in charge of a kid. But but
Speaker 3: again again, yeah, you know, I hope go ahead, you're
Speaker 3: going to say something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say other than like the
Speaker 1: job situation, Like the rest of my life has been
Speaker 1: like good if that makes sense. I mean, like I've
Speaker 1: been on medication for like fifteen probably fifteen years, I
Speaker 1: mean ever since I was a kid, making sure like
Speaker 1: mental health is super stable. It's just that it's hard,
Speaker 1: you know, it's hard and it sucks, but I gotta
Speaker 1: get through it.
Speaker 3: You know. Well, Jada, I can tell you is good luck.
Speaker 3: I hope that you if there's a pizza what state
Speaker 3: do you live in in Indiana? Well, if there's a
Speaker 3: pizza place in Indiana, if if maybe the owner of
Speaker 3: Tony's Pizza in Indiana is a huge therapy gecko fan,
Speaker 3: and he can get you a job. I hope that
Speaker 3: works out that way. You can get you get a
Speaker 3: job the way that people used to fucking get jobs
Speaker 3: in the in the eighties. Hey, I heard you on
Speaker 3: the Lizard Show. Come make pizzas for me. God, Jade,
Speaker 3: is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 3: people of the computer or about the situation in general
Speaker 3: before we go?
Speaker 1: Uh? Someone in chack in Chat asked, is the girlfriend
Speaker 1: the hot?
Speaker 4: Maybe?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Uh. What I have to say I
Speaker 1: have to say, is I don't know?
Speaker 3: Well you got that going for you?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 3: You don't know if your girlfriend's hot? That's this there's
Speaker 3: a there's a cool mystery to that that I think
Speaker 3: is good to have. Take care of Jed, I mean.
Speaker 1: You, take care. I love you, Yle.
Speaker 3: You're an awesome Thank you, thank you, good good, good
Speaker 3: luck with everything. I'm rooting for you. I'm MoMA, I'm
Speaker 3: I'm I will, I will. I don't know what a
Speaker 3: favor I have with the Lord, but I'll try to
Speaker 3: call it in for you. Thank you, Thank you, Take
Speaker 3: care of Jed.
Speaker 2: By bye, dude.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I just
Speaker 3: like and when it's not judgment, I don't because I
Speaker 3: don't like to. I don't try. I try not to
Speaker 3: cast judgments on what other people decide to do with
Speaker 3: their lives. And it has nothing to do with, you know,
Speaker 3: being autistic, or anything to do with like having the
Speaker 3: roommate dad situation. It's just like, I know, it's just so,
Speaker 3: it's just such a like, I don't know, it's just
Speaker 3: a crazy crazy It's what's like the biggest decision of
Speaker 3: responsibility I think you could possibly take on to have
Speaker 3: a kid, you know, and especially being twenty and.
Speaker 2: All that.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, look, man, I
Speaker 3: don't live Jade's life. I don't know what it's like
Speaker 3: to be them. I don't know anything about what brings
Speaker 3: them happiness and their life and the universe's is ripe,
Speaker 3: and so I don't know. All I know is that
Speaker 3: I hope that everything works out for Jade and that they,
Speaker 3: you know, are able to find a place to make
Speaker 3: pizzas and raise the kid. And I don't know. Also,
Speaker 3: I don't know what the roommate's doing. I don't know
Speaker 3: if he has some weird plan. I don't know if
Speaker 3: he's gonna kidnap the kid and you know, try to
Speaker 3: clone him and make an oopa lumpa Willy Wonka factory
Speaker 3: whatever thing. But I don't know what he's doing, but
Speaker 3: I hope that everything works out okay, and uh, good
Speaker 3: luck to you. Jade all from Ryan to Accept.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, yeah, I just had a question. I've been
Speaker 2: having some like issues, like I mentally like I don't
Speaker 2: really know what to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, What's what's going on? Man?
Speaker 2: So my girlfriend, like she's a real pothead and I've
Speaker 2: never smoked myself, but she keeps trying to convince me
Speaker 2: to smoke weed, and I'm kind of worried about it.
Speaker 2: But she keeps kind of up in the annie and
Speaker 2: like offering to do certain things if I were to
Speaker 2: smoke with her, such as a do you know what
Speaker 2: a beeper bong is?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: What's a beeper bond?
Speaker 2: So apparently it's this thing that goes inside of the
Speaker 2: woman and you put water in the woman as well,
Speaker 2: and like the stem goes down into the water and
Speaker 2: you make pretty much a human bong.
Speaker 3: So your girlfriend wants you to take a bong rip
Speaker 3: out of her pussy pretty much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've considered it, but like at the same time,
Speaker 2: like I just don't know what to do, because like
Speaker 2: it sounds interesting, but I don't want to have a
Speaker 2: bad trip or anything. I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 2: you smoke weed. But like I'm just kind of confused.
Speaker 2: I mean, know what to do? You know.
Speaker 3: What kind of bad trip are you afraid of having?
Speaker 2: Well, I always heard about like paranoia, and like, I
Speaker 2: mean I'm already kind of an anxious person. I mean,
Speaker 2: but maybe I want to go as like for my
Speaker 2: first time. Maybe I want to be as extreme to
Speaker 2: do something like a beaver bong. But uh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, like I just kind of got to get
Speaker 2: over this mental block.
Speaker 3: Hm hmm, what do you paranoid could happen?
Speaker 2: Well, just feeling it's kind of like a like you
Speaker 2: know that fucking thing where like you think you're have
Speaker 2: something wrong with you, but Mike, you don't really I
Speaker 2: forgot what it's called, like kind of a ah, I
Speaker 2: forgot what it's called.
Speaker 5: But I have a feeling, you know what I'm talking about, Like.
Speaker 2: Just pretty much the your brain making up like oh,
Speaker 2: I might be having a heart attack, like something's wrong.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: You know, you know, everyone has their own experience with drugs,
Speaker 3: But a little part of me thinks that you're gonna
Speaker 3: like take this spawng rip out of your girlfriend's vagina,
Speaker 3: breathe it in, and then when you blow it out,
Speaker 3: you'll look at her and you'll realize that life is
Speaker 3: actually pretty good.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I might just have to try that. Should
Speaker 2: a shotgun the hit as well?
Speaker 1: Blow it into her mouth for mine?
Speaker 3: You guys need to write a book about your lives.
Speaker 3: Is there a baby? You guys have a baby? Don't
Speaker 3: tell me you too have a baby together? Uh? Dude. Next,
Speaker 3: here's the thing. For here's the thing. It starts with
Speaker 3: your girlfriend trying to get you to take a bong
Speaker 3: rip out of her vagina, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: she's gonna be like, yo, let's pack the baby.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think it's gonna go that Varna.
Speaker 3: No, Like I feel like the top like you could
Speaker 3: like kind of push on the top of a baby's
Speaker 3: head to make a little dent, right, and then pack
Speaker 3: into that. Yeah, and then pack some wead into that
Speaker 3: and then you smoke it out of the baby's mouth.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think I'd ever try that, but
Speaker 2: that's definitely interesting thought. I might just stick with a
Speaker 2: beaver bong.
Speaker 3: It's your name again, Ryan, Ryan. You're a man of
Speaker 3: integrity and I respect you well.
Speaker 1: Beg you.
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Uh? I hope that the chats are entertaining after this.
Speaker 3: Take care man. Yeah, that's going to be my new
Speaker 3: Tinder bio looking for someone to do a beaver bong with. Hey,
Speaker 3: this is a message to all New York City or
Speaker 3: Seattle based therapy gecko listeners. I am very excited to
Speaker 3: announce that this New Year's Eve, I will be hosting
Speaker 3: my very first reptile rave in the Lower East Side
Speaker 3: of Manhattan. Yes, that's right, I am hosting a rave.
Speaker 3: I've hired a DJ, I've instructed him to play forest
Speaker 3: disco music, whatever the hell that means, and I'm going
Speaker 3: to be there dancing around and shaking my lizard tail.
Speaker 3: I have never done something like this before. I'm very
Speaker 3: excited to see how it goes, and if you live
Speaker 3: in New York City, I hope to see you there.
Speaker 3: Please check the episode description of this podcast for more details. Also,
Speaker 3: I'll be putting on another reptile rave in Seattle on
Speaker 3: January sixth, and you can find the info for that
Speaker 3: in the episode description as well. It's Gecko Party time
Speaker 3: baby all from Tray. Hello, Hello, what's up? No fucking way, dude,
Speaker 3: how's it going is?
Speaker 1: Gek?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Who's this?
Speaker 5: There's a tray man, Trey.
Speaker 3: What's going on? Dude?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Not a whole lot.
Speaker 3: It's a cool name, Trey.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It was an ae too.
Speaker 3: Tray with it a e oh tr ae Yeah hmm, Well,
Speaker 3: what's up, Tray? Would you want to talk about today?
Speaker 3: If anything?
Speaker 5: Well, there's some heavy shit on my plate. But for
Speaker 5: starters like I'm a garbage man, it's a pretty fun job.
Speaker 3: Any cool pieces of garbage to report to us that
Speaker 3: you found lately? Uh?
Speaker 5: Not really? I find random money sometimes. I think I
Speaker 5: got like fifty bucks in total.
Speaker 3: Why do you think somebody threw away fifty bucks?
Speaker 5: Uh? I find like fucking cleaned out wallets with just
Speaker 5: like random money left in them.
Speaker 1: Hm.
Speaker 5: One time I saw a pocket pussy that was kind
Speaker 5: of weird.
Speaker 3: What did you do with it?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 5: I just took a picture and posted on my story, right, why.
Speaker 3: Would you do anything else? You wouldn't take it home
Speaker 3: and fuck it? Why did that even? Why did they
Speaker 3: even come into my brain that you would do that? Tray,
Speaker 3: That's yeah, that's on me. I'm going to take responsibility
Speaker 3: for my thought.
Speaker 5: But uh, yeah, dude, I do have some kind of
Speaker 5: deep shit. So growing up I kind of had to
Speaker 5: like take on adult responsibilities really early, and uh kind
Speaker 5: of like help keep the family together and stuff. And
Speaker 5: now fast forward to like present day, it's just like
Speaker 5: I'm taking care of my mom's house, paying the loone
Speaker 5: on it, and she's out fucking around like on meth
Speaker 5: and ship and it's just a lot to take in
Speaker 5: and Stepdad's like not very stable either, so I have
Speaker 5: to like take care of him and shit too, and
Speaker 5: everything just feels weird, Like I want to start in
Speaker 5: my life, So.
Speaker 3: What would starting your own life look like?
Speaker 5: Kind of just like finally starting to not care so
Speaker 5: much and like care more about myself, just kind of
Speaker 5: give up on trying to help people I've endlessly tried
Speaker 5: to help for so long.
Speaker 3: How old are you? I'm twenty two, twenty two, and
Speaker 3: you've spent a large majority of your life having to
Speaker 3: pick up the pieces of other people's shit. Yeah mm hmm, okay,
Speaker 3: what's between you and and not caring?
Speaker 5: I don't know. There's just like this huge, like moral
Speaker 5: feeling that I have to like always just try to
Speaker 5: help and be like the most good that I can be,
Speaker 5: And I don't even know how to set that off
Speaker 5: and just like kind of direct that towards myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Man, this is a tough one because, like, and you know,
Speaker 3: this has been kind of a recurring theme on the
Speaker 3: show throughout a couple phone calls. We had a guy
Speaker 3: a few weeks ago who was like taking care of
Speaker 3: his aunt, you know, stuff like that, and I always
Speaker 3: feel like, you know, this is like this this is
Speaker 3: really dependent upon your own personal philosophy in a way.
Speaker 3: So I can't tell you what to do with your
Speaker 3: life in this sense, but my personal philosophy with these
Speaker 3: kinds of things is like, you know, look, I think
Speaker 3: I think it's very noble of you to help out
Speaker 3: your family, but you're very very young and how old
Speaker 3: I mean, you're helping out what your mom? And tell
Speaker 3: who are all the people you're helping out? Sorry if
Speaker 3: you told me already, Yeah.
Speaker 5: Mostly my mom because it's the house that I'm paying
Speaker 5: for is under her name and alone and fucking to
Speaker 5: like a backup plan for my stepdad. Basically he's trying
Speaker 5: to fix sh it over at another house, and then
Speaker 5: just a whole lot of shit I'm tired of dealing with.
Speaker 3: Look, here's the thing. Life I think is like a
Speaker 3: pretty easy and straightforward until you have children. I don't
Speaker 3: have children, but I assume because it's like you can
Speaker 3: if you want to just fuck off and fuck around
Speaker 3: and not give a shit about anyone other than yourself
Speaker 3: and go crazy and move to China and do Heroin
Speaker 3: and just what and you and you're and you don't
Speaker 3: have kids, you can go go go crazy, divorce your wife,
Speaker 3: leave your boyfriend, block all your friends on Instagram, who cares,
Speaker 3: go literally do whatever you want. But when you have kids.
Speaker 3: But this is different when you have kids, and I think,
Speaker 3: like to have a kid and then like especially when
Speaker 3: they're a child, but you know, now like into adulthood,
Speaker 3: to have a kid and like can deprive them of
Speaker 3: their life because you just couldn't get it together for
Speaker 3: whatever reason. And I don't know, bro, I'm not an
Speaker 3: arbiter of morality, and I don't want to be, but
Speaker 3: like it just feels wrong. And so, you know, you're
Speaker 3: a young dude, you're twenty two. It sounds like you've
Speaker 3: been like dealing with this stuff forever. So I mean,
Speaker 3: i'd like to see you claim your own life. You know,
Speaker 3: that's what you're telling me. You're telling me you're twenty
Speaker 3: two and you don't feel like you have your own life.
Speaker 3: And I think you know you're endowed as a citizen
Speaker 3: of the universe to claim your own life. And if
Speaker 3: you have the opportunity to do so, I wouldn't you know,
Speaker 3: I'd consider doing it right. And again, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to tell you what what what that means in terms
Speaker 3: of reactions moving forward, because you know, I know one
Speaker 3: philosophy about this stuff is right. But I think if
Speaker 3: you were to take actions in the direction of claiming
Speaker 3: your own life, I don't think that would be selfish
Speaker 3: of you, and I don't think that you'd be wrong
Speaker 3: to do so.
Speaker 5: No, yeah, I definitely deserve it. I just need to
Speaker 5: stop being such a tool. I mean, not so much
Speaker 5: that I view myself as a tool. It's just overall
Speaker 5: it's not really benefiting me. It's negatively affecting me more
Speaker 5: than anything.
Speaker 1: So, m.
Speaker 3: I mean, I wish you the courage to do whatever
Speaker 3: you think is the best thing to do. That's the thing, man,
Speaker 3: you can really like, you could really fuck it. You
Speaker 3: can be like a self fish asshole to your friends
Speaker 3: and you're just everyone around it doesn't it's fine until
Speaker 3: you have a kid. You know you have a kid. Well,
Speaker 3: because when you have a kid and then you make
Speaker 3: their lives shitty, that's just a sinister thing to do. So,
Speaker 3: you know, and I don't know. I don't know your mom.
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not saying your mom is a sinister person.
Speaker 3: I'm just I don't know your particular situation. I'm just
Speaker 3: talking about a general shit.
Speaker 5: I think it's menopause's fault.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, is there any other stuff you wanted
Speaker 3: to talk about or anything further in this situation or
Speaker 3: what's up? The floor's yours?
Speaker 5: Man? I mean, it's really just an honor to actually
Speaker 5: be talking to you every morning before I go to work,
Speaker 5: Like I go to work like half an hour early.
Speaker 5: I just throw on your podcasts and they really just
Speaker 5: start my day. I never even listen to music anymore.
Speaker 5: Like my whole thing has just been listening to you,
Speaker 5: and yeah, I love the whole community that you've started.
Speaker 3: And thanks man.
Speaker 5: It's crazy to be talking to you, Trey.
Speaker 3: I I say this genuinely, it is crazy to be
Speaker 3: talking to you too. Man. Is there anything else you
Speaker 3: want to say to the people the computer before we go? God?
Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely, Shout out Devin, Shout out Luke, shout out Weston,
Speaker 5: shout out Andrew. My handle on install is Trey Tricky way.
Speaker 5: It is Trey with an AE. And thanks for having
Speaker 5: me dog.
Speaker 3: Thanks man, Go go do a kickflip tray all right,
Speaker 3: you sound like you do a lot of kickflips. Have
Speaker 3: a good night, do you too?
Speaker 1: Doug All From Sophie. Hello, Hello, can you hear me?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good? What's your name again, Sophie, Sophie? What's cracking?
Speaker 3: How's how's life?
Speaker 6: I'm in the middle of finals week and I don't
Speaker 6: want to study, so I'm calling you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I mean, I you know, I it's
Speaker 3: hard making this podcast and stuff, and I get frustrated
Speaker 3: in my day to day life pretty often, not not
Speaker 3: even just like with with work and stuff, but also
Speaker 3: with like you know, life and and and people, and
Speaker 3: this and then the other thing. Just you know, there's
Speaker 3: all these there's all these things, and I think like
Speaker 3: I am too out of I'm I like, I need
Speaker 3: to regain some perspective because still in my adult life,
Speaker 3: even though it has its own stuff, I'm just so glad,
Speaker 3: so happy. I'm honestly, I'm feeling it right now I'm
Speaker 3: talking to you. I'm so happy that I never ever,
Speaker 3: ever in my life have to go to school, will
Speaker 3: ever again. The worst thing ever, It's horrible, it's so bad.
Speaker 3: What do you do? What are you in? You're in college?
Speaker 6: Right, yeah, I'm in college. I'm studying biomedical engineering.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that sounds awful. I'm so happy, you
Speaker 3: know what, I don't you know, I don't even care
Speaker 3: that this sounds mean. I'm I'm really happy that I'm
Speaker 3: not you doing.
Speaker 6: No you No, you should be.
Speaker 1: You should be.
Speaker 6: I should have done music education instead.
Speaker 3: I mean whatever, I'll be homeless when I'm forty, and
Speaker 3: you'll have like a real place to live. But you know,
Speaker 3: for now, I'm chilling. Why do What's what made you
Speaker 3: want to do all that?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I just like really want to make a difference in
Speaker 6: the world. And I don't think I could ever handle
Speaker 6: being like a doctor, Like that's just crazy.
Speaker 3: So you said you should you should have done education?
Speaker 6: Yeah, music education.
Speaker 3: Why don't you go do that?
Speaker 1: I could? It's really time day. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: Okay, why what's stopping you?
Speaker 6: That's a good question. Probably like the fear of my
Speaker 6: dad hating me for.
Speaker 1: Being a failure.
Speaker 3: That's a stupid reason.
Speaker 6: Yeah, probably, But he does fund my education.
Speaker 3: How am I? I'm funny, it's funny. I respect the
Speaker 3: fact that he funds your education, and and that is
Speaker 3: a that look, I think and the reason I snap
Speaker 3: judgment said that that's a stupid reason is and I
Speaker 3: don't take that back is because basing your entire life
Speaker 3: and future and day to day on like what your
Speaker 3: parents will think about it is just like a way
Speaker 3: to be forever unhappy. I respect the fact that you
Speaker 3: care about your dad's opinion because he's funding your education,
Speaker 3: and you know, his money, his prerogative to you know whatever,
Speaker 3: say hey, I'll only fund your education if you you know,
Speaker 3: do this, that and the other thing. You know, that's
Speaker 3: his whatever leverage, have a right or wrong you think
Speaker 3: that might be. That's just whatever it is. But all
Speaker 3: of that aside. You know, you're your own independent human
Speaker 3: being with your own life, and you know you you
Speaker 3: were at the end of the day. Nobody has to
Speaker 3: fucking live your life and do all the horrible school things,
Speaker 3: but you so you know, I kind of don't give
Speaker 3: you a fuck what your dad thinks.
Speaker 1: Now, you're so right.
Speaker 6: I think that's like something I struggle with is I
Speaker 6: give too much of a fuck about what other people think.
Speaker 3: So you want to By the way, I don't want
Speaker 3: to discount it. I know it's like having these kinds
Speaker 3: of conversations, especially if you haven't had them. If another hard,
Speaker 3: I don't want to discount that. It's hard, and that's
Speaker 3: one of the reasons you might be not doing it.
Speaker 3: But like, I mean, it'd be one thing if you
Speaker 3: told me that you were doing all this ship because
Speaker 3: you want to you genuinely want to be a bio
Speaker 3: medical willy Wanka person or you know, or you genuinely
Speaker 3: want to make a lot of money and you think
Speaker 3: that's how you do it, that's whatever. But if you're
Speaker 3: just doing it to make your dad happy, I mean,
Speaker 3: what the fuck are we doing here?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 6: I am doing it because I like it. It's just
Speaker 6: like it's it's just so much like I'm drowning in
Speaker 6: work right now?
Speaker 3: What's it? You wanted to be an art education person?
Speaker 1: Music?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: I want to band?
Speaker 3: What's what's stopping you?
Speaker 1: Nothing? You're so right.
Speaker 6: Maybe maybe i'll double major. Maybe i'll or I could
Speaker 6: just drop out and become a music teacher.
Speaker 1: You could, all right, that's all?
Speaker 3: Hey, I got a question. Mm hmm? What note is this?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 6: I couldn't even tell you?
Speaker 3: Sounds like a lot of work to do. Yeah, what's
Speaker 3: your name again? Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 3: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: My name Sophie? Uh, thank you everybody for listening to
Speaker 6: my existential.
Speaker 3: Crisis by Sophie. I hope that you figure it out,
Speaker 3: and I hope that this conversation was at least, like
Speaker 3: at least three out of ten helpful.
Speaker 6: It was thank you Lyle rock and Roll.
Speaker 3: Sea by, By the way, I already knew the answer.
Speaker 3: It was a g.
Speaker 1: All from Edwin.
Speaker 3: Hello, hello much so long. I don't know what you
Speaker 3: mean by are you still on?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 4: It made it seem like it was going to hang up.
Speaker 3: On me, I don't know what you mean when you're
Speaker 3: referring to an it. Let's live in the present. What's
Speaker 3: your name, sir Edwin? Eddie? Going on, Eddie, how can
Speaker 3: I get you today? What do you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Man, what what can you get me today? Well, I'm
Speaker 4: twenty two and I'm already getting divorced.
Speaker 3: Dude, What the fuck? Why is everyone like? Everyone is like,
Speaker 3: it's very funny because I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 3: the exact demographics of this podcast or whatever, but I
Speaker 3: do know that you know, a lot of people they
Speaker 3: found out about from TikTok or whatever the fuck, and
Speaker 3: so there are a lot of like people in the
Speaker 3: eighteen to you know, twenty four year old range. But
Speaker 3: all you guys are acting like you're, you know, in
Speaker 3: your fucking forties. Man. Everyone's having kids, everyone's getting divorced.
Speaker 3: Everyone's like, I mean, it's just it's it's wild, man,
Speaker 3: what's going on?
Speaker 4: Just our generation, Like we just all had such a
Speaker 4: weird connection with the Internet. So we're all like on
Speaker 4: another level of intelligence and like wisdom on stuff. So
Speaker 4: it's it's like like a crazy level of attachment with
Speaker 4: other people.
Speaker 3: I guess how long were you married?
Speaker 1: Two years?
Speaker 4: But we were Uh we met when we were thirteen,
Speaker 4: so we've been together for nine years in total, but
Speaker 4: uh yeah, two years for the like actual marriage.
Speaker 3: Well good.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: I hold my tongue out so much. I really do,
Speaker 3: because not because I'm like afraid of what people will
Speaker 3: think of my judgments, but because, like, you know, like
Speaker 3: my gut emotional reaction to when people say things like
Speaker 3: this is like my true gut emotional reaction is like
Speaker 3: I just think it's a terrible idea to get married
Speaker 3: at a young age and have kids at a crazy
Speaker 3: young age. But beneath the emotion, I logically understand and
Speaker 3: believe that different things make different people happy, and so
Speaker 3: I'm not in a position to make those calls. But
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's really hard to say. I put I
Speaker 4: put a lot of effort and time into thinking if
Speaker 4: because we're engaged for probably two years before I actually
Speaker 4: committed to signing anything and stuff, not in like hesitation
Speaker 4: of like, oh, I don't believe our relationship is going
Speaker 4: to blast that long. I fully believe we would last,
Speaker 4: but like, I don't know, I actually took the time
Speaker 4: to think about what I wanted for the rest of
Speaker 4: my life. Was like, odang, maybe this isn't the solution.
Speaker 4: And I went through with it because I was genuinely
Speaker 4: happy with her and kind of sucks that it went
Speaker 4: in the worst way possible. And it's not I mean,
Speaker 4: it's a mutual thing now, but it was a mess
Speaker 4: for the past couple of months. This whole year entirely
Speaker 4: actually was awful.
Speaker 3: So what are you doing now?
Speaker 4: Kind of just sitting around spending money?
Speaker 1: I don't have.
Speaker 3: What on?
Speaker 4: I just bought a new PC and I just got
Speaker 4: the desk today and then I'm still waiting for some parts,
Speaker 4: so I'm going to be building that. But you know,
Speaker 4: using a firm to pay for stuff when I don't
Speaker 4: have any money, I'm working all the time, so you
Speaker 4: know that's fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hey man, Some people would argue having a having
Speaker 3: a nice PC it's better than having a wife.
Speaker 1: Huh oof.
Speaker 4: That's a that's a loaded assumption.
Speaker 3: I think, well, whatever, okay, what are you gonna do
Speaker 3: on your PC.
Speaker 1: Game? Mostly?
Speaker 4: I mean, I have kind of an I T background
Speaker 4: and I kind of want to get back into it.
Speaker 4: I don't know how much having a PC is going
Speaker 4: to help me with that, but it would be nice
Speaker 4: to get back into I t mm hmm, especially money wise.
Speaker 3: Do you have a job now?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I work at a warehouse currently.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well what staate of you guys? Did?
Speaker 1: I am in Maryland?
Speaker 3: Oh it's my home state.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You sound you sound distraught?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 3: Is there anything I can do to help you?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I have an awesome support team that's been helping me
Speaker 4: or a lot of people that have been talking through
Speaker 4: everything with me. And I go to a counselor and
Speaker 4: I go to therapy and a new therapist because the
Speaker 4: one I've been going to wasn't the greatest. The advice
Speaker 4: she gave me was not amazing.
Speaker 3: Well what was the advice she gave you? I'm curious.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, because I was in denial about our
Speaker 4: relationship being over, and like I was fighting and fighting
Speaker 4: to try and keep stuff together, and she just suggested
Speaker 4: that I give it space and she'll she'll come back,
Speaker 4: which I guess is sound advice, But in reality.
Speaker 3: What's wrong with that advice.
Speaker 1: At least in this Like for how much information my
Speaker 1: therapist had about the situation, and like, here's another thing
Speaker 1: we were both going to the same therapist, but for
Speaker 1: solo sessions, it wasn't a g It wasn't like a
Speaker 1: couple of therapy. It was I went to her and
Speaker 1: then she was also going to her at the same time.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's no fun.
Speaker 1: But so that would give her more context on like
Speaker 1: what I was going through. I guess yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think with the information she had about our relationship, the
Speaker 1: suggestion of giving it more space was probably the worst,
Speaker 1: at least at the time.
Speaker 3: Well, but again, why do you feel like that was bad?
Speaker 4: Well, just because there was she moved out to live
Speaker 4: with the guy that she cheated on me with. Oh,
Speaker 4: and I feel like the me spending more time away
Speaker 4: was solidifying their relationship when I wanted things to work out.
Speaker 3: Still, you you're I'm all right, I'm gonna tell you something.
Speaker 3: Your therapist gave you great advice.
Speaker 1: That's fair.
Speaker 3: Againist, I gave you great advice, man, Come on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hindsight, hindsight. I'm like, yeah, that was probably the
Speaker 4: best thing.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I know you're distrawing, and I I hope I don't
Speaker 3: sound like I'm laughing at you. I really, I really
Speaker 3: am not. It's just my friend. Your therapist gave you
Speaker 3: fantastic advice. I just need you to know that because
Speaker 3: you know, I know that you started out this phone
Speaker 3: call with the speech about how smart you are, and
Speaker 3: I just need you, I need you to know that
Speaker 3: your therapist gave you great advice. If your girlfriend left
Speaker 3: you to go be with the guy that she cheated
Speaker 3: on you for, I'm gonna tell you what and and
Speaker 3: absolutely that's not. Of course, here's the thing your therapist
Speaker 3: gave you. It's that it's not what you wanted, though
Speaker 3: your therapist didn't give you what you wanted, because what
Speaker 3: you wanted was this gut emotional thing of you're your
Speaker 3: girlfriend coming back to you, realizing that this guy's not
Speaker 3: the guy and you're the guy. You know, but that's
Speaker 3: not you know, that's what you wanted. But it's not
Speaker 3: you know, what you needed. You could say, right because
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, it's like if if
Speaker 3: another But you deserve a person who wants to fucking be,
Speaker 3: who makes the decision to be with you and to
Speaker 3: stay with you and not to you know, run off
Speaker 3: with this other this other guy, and at a certain point,
Speaker 3: and it's hard to brow it's fucking hard. It's hard
Speaker 3: emotionally to stand up for yourself. It's really hard. Whether
Speaker 3: you're a guy or a girl. It's hard to set
Speaker 3: the boundaries of like I don't deserve this bullshit. I'm
Speaker 3: I'm out. It's hard, you know, And so that's that's
Speaker 3: why it felt like not good at advice. It was
Speaker 3: because it was the harder decision. But it's totally the move,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, actually going through the time away and like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, it was just this week that it
Speaker 4: clicked with me that I was fighting a battle that
Speaker 4: I wasn't gonna win. So looking back on it now,
Speaker 4: it was great advice and I appreciated it and wish
Speaker 4: I would have taken more heart to actually listening to it.
Speaker 1: But I don't know.
Speaker 4: Again, with her being a therapist for both of us,
Speaker 4: I feel like I kind of just had a grudge
Speaker 4: where it was like, hey, I don't know how much
Speaker 4: you're playing into me, or how much you have her
Speaker 4: in mind or what, but I don't know, therapist.
Speaker 3: Well, look here's the thing I mean that does I
Speaker 3: don't think. I don't think that she was. I mean,
Speaker 3: that's it's weird that she was seeing both of you
Speaker 3: guys individuals.
Speaker 1: Like Maryland right there.
Speaker 3: That's a conflict of interest right there. But again, I
Speaker 3: don't like she was whatever she told you was in
Speaker 3: the best interest of both of you, definitely, And my god, man,
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, what's your name again, Edwin? Edwin?
Speaker 3: I mean, god, damn it, Edwin. You're only twenty two,
Speaker 3: and you seem you're This divorce sounds like it has
Speaker 3: truly aged you, like twenty years.
Speaker 4: I mean, I already get told that I look way
Speaker 4: older than I am. I've had people tell me I
Speaker 4: look like twenty eight and yeah, I don't know facial hair,
Speaker 4: and I'm six three and built like a stick.
Speaker 3: So you know, Okay, So what I'm hearing is that
Speaker 3: you can have sex with anyone you want.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know. I've been with one person my entire life.
Speaker 3: I mean you sound I mean, I don't know, man,
Speaker 3: I don't know. Look, I get it, I understand. But
Speaker 3: you're a tall, young, skinny guy. You know you're you're
Speaker 3: a little nerdy. That's in right now. Yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 3: be You're gonna do great, Edwin.
Speaker 4: I'm excited for the opportunities to have in front of me.
Speaker 3: Yes, You're gonna do great.
Speaker 4: Do you want more context on the whole relationship this
Speaker 4: past year?
Speaker 3: Do you do I want more context on the relationship?
Speaker 3: Not really truthfully, not really, because well, I'm gonna say
Speaker 3: what I'm gonna say first and then i'll ask you this.
Speaker 3: Not really, because I'm more interested in the present now.
Speaker 3: I'm far more interested truthfully in your present and future
Speaker 3: life than I am in in, you know, mourning your relationship.
Speaker 3: Although again, if if this is you know, I want,
Speaker 3: I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about.
Speaker 3: So if that's if the context is what you want,
Speaker 3: then go ahead. Why do you think I should be
Speaker 3: enthralled in this context?
Speaker 1: Maybe you're right? I don't know. I feel like I
Speaker 1: have a I have a habit of sharing this right
Speaker 1: now just because it's.
Speaker 3: Like, please go for it if that's what.
Speaker 4: You want to do in my life for a year.
Speaker 1: So, like, I don't know. So, So we were we
Speaker 1: worked together, kind of she's not really showing up to work.
Speaker 1: She has extended leave and stuff like that, so she's
Speaker 1: not there. But we worked together, and we were in
Speaker 1: a band, and I was friends with everybody in the band.
Speaker 1: We were both friends with everybody in the band, So
Speaker 1: she cheated with me with the drummer of our band. Uh,
Speaker 1: And I found out a while ago, a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago, probably like around April ish, And uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've just been fighting, trying to get things to work out,
Speaker 1: go back to how they were, or well not back
Speaker 1: to how they were, and things would be different now.
Speaker 1: But I was willing to look past it and try
Speaker 1: to save the marriage. But uh, clearly wasn't the solution.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, one of one of our friends, someone
Speaker 1: close to me, someone that I was in a band
Speaker 1: with that we went to shows and stuff with, stabbed
Speaker 1: me in the back as well as in the front. Brutal.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. You know what, I'm glad that you
Speaker 3: gave me this context because now I'm like, I didn't
Speaker 3: realize you were also a musician, because I don't know Edwin.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this, and maybe I
Speaker 3: don't know if anything I'm saying is helpful to you.
Speaker 3: This is just what i'm thinking about. You might be
Speaker 3: the most in demand version of a guy right now.
Speaker 4: Do you know that I'm not the best I play bass,
Speaker 4: primarily I.
Speaker 3: Have you You're you're a You're a six three skinny kind,
Speaker 3: nerdy musician guy you've been to, You've already had a
Speaker 3: you've had a wife before. That's something you're like kind
Speaker 3: of the most in demand version of a guy right now.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know that.
Speaker 4: No, I guess not. Again, we're not even I haven't
Speaker 4: gotten divorce papers or anything yet. This is like super
Speaker 4: recent that I've accepted the fact that it's over, so
Speaker 4: I really have.
Speaker 3: But I'm I'm a full year ahead of it. I
Speaker 3: don't even know if it's a year, but I'm I'm
Speaker 3: I'm ahead of you right now in my thinking about this,
Speaker 3: I understand you're still mourning the present.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but like again, I've been with her since
Speaker 1: I was thirteen. She's choosing my world, choose everything to me.
Speaker 1: So like, I'm gonna be taking my time to find
Speaker 1: myself out and stuff.
Speaker 3: But you should.
Speaker 4: I have no idea what the hell dating is going
Speaker 4: to be like for me, because.
Speaker 3: Like, I know what, dude, I know what dats is
Speaker 3: could be like for this sick.
Speaker 4: I hope, So I hope.
Speaker 3: So what else? Man? I hope. By the way, I
Speaker 3: hope any of this is helpful because I know I
Speaker 3: don't know You've probably had a thousand people tell you
Speaker 3: that you just need to move on, and I'm gonna, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's one.
Speaker 4: Again, having like so much connection with so many people
Speaker 4: to tell me what I should be doing and stuff
Speaker 4: in my head it was biased and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is they're just saying that because they want to
Speaker 4: protect me and not our relationship or whatever. But in reality,
Speaker 4: I knew it was it was in my best interest
Speaker 4: to let this go. So I'm trying to. I'm trying
Speaker 4: to get past it. But every everything that anyone's told
Speaker 4: me has been super helpful. I'm just glad to talk
Speaker 4: about it. I'm glad to vent it out and like
Speaker 4: not let it faster.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, I mean I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean this sounds like, uh, time, time will heal
Speaker 3: the wound. And then afterwards, I mean, God, you're gonna
Speaker 3: be You're like a gold mine. You're gonna you're You're
Speaker 3: I don't do you understand this about yourself?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: Because here's the thing. Yeah, I don't think you do either,
Speaker 3: because you just you went on a whole rant about
Speaker 3: how smart you are, and then you aren't being aware
Speaker 3: of how much of a stud you are. You know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Like you got to redirect your self
Speaker 3: awareness to the right spots.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I like. I I'm just in the process.
Speaker 4: Since this is my first week of getting out of denial,
Speaker 4: I'm just really getting ready for it all, prepping myself.
Speaker 4: But what the future holds.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be sick. You're prepping yourself for the future holds.
Speaker 3: Fucking drink a lot of water.
Speaker 4: I already do. I'm a healthy little boy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you are.
Speaker 1: I know you are. It's unintentionable. Well, I say I'm healthy,
Speaker 1: but my diet is awful. It's just water and a
Speaker 1: ham sandwich every day.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Let me know if you ever want to hear about
Speaker 3: an awful diet, and I will tell you one. Yeah, Edwin, Edwin,
Speaker 3: is there anything else I can do for you? I
Speaker 3: I I'm not worried about you. I think you're going
Speaker 3: to be great.
Speaker 4: That's great to hear. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like.
Speaker 4: I like listening to your podcast at work. It's very nice.
Speaker 4: It's very nice to uh just hear what everyone else
Speaker 4: is going through to get like perspective on existence for everything.
Speaker 4: So I enjoy what you do and I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: Enjoy being a hot cool guitar game.
Speaker 4: Say say hi to Flesh is yummy in the chat
Speaker 4: I'm reading all these that is me. I am Flesh.
Speaker 3: Hey, take care man, you too. Yeah, there's a six
Speaker 3: to three man with a cool mustache who thinks that
Speaker 3: a bottle of water and a ham sandwich is a
Speaker 3: cheat meal. He's gonna be fine. Goes on the line
Speaker 3: taking your phone calls every night. Never Beacon goes to
Speaker 3: his hide.
Speaker 1: He's teaching you how in the Men of your life,
Speaker 1: but he's not ready an expert