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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's making your holiday gatherings way

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Speaker 1: less boring with the new Christmas beer bong. Cheer on

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Speaker 1: Grandma Mabel as she takes seven eggnogs to the dome

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Speaker 1: and under five seconds thanks to Laser Stories. Mabee. It's

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Speaker 1: Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news stories

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Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've

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Speaker 1: got a laser that's other yule tied yegermeisters, just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Salt Lake City, alright.

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Speaker 1: A female DoorDash driver named Courtney with a K was

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Speaker 1: caught on camera dropping off a bag of food, taking

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Speaker 1: a photo for the app, and then spraying something on

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Speaker 1: it before leaving. Signature perfecent was here? Seem like it.

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Speaker 1: The customer who didn't know that happened, says they'd ordered

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Speaker 1: thirty dollars worth of Arby's. I know, thirty dollars of

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Speaker 1: Arby's sounds like it's for a wedding of two hundred,

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Speaker 1: but he swears it was just for him and his wife. Wow,

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Speaker 1: roast beef sandwiches, brick you were with me on fire.

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Speaker 1: My kids have never eaten there, but they love screaming,

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Speaker 1: we have the mean every time we drive by a

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Speaker 1: side Anyway, not long after starting the meal, the woman

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Speaker 1: started having trouble breathing. Oh my gosh, then she got

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Speaker 1: sick spray. They inspected the food in the bag and

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Speaker 1: realized it might have been tampered with. And that's when

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Speaker 1: they look back at their security footage and saw Courtney

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Speaker 1: with the K spraying their food with pepper spray. Why

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Speaker 1: my god. So police got involved, and after tracking down

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Speaker 1: the driver, they found out Courtney with the K did

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Speaker 1: that because she looked at the receipt and saw they

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Speaker 1: had requested extra pepper with their meal, so she thought

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Speaker 1: that she was helping out. She has a salt fly.

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Speaker 1: I'm not even kidding. She told officers that she believed

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Speaker 1: pepper spray could only hurt if it was floating in

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Speaker 1: the air, but once it's on the food, then it's

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Speaker 1: just flavor. She thinks it's literal pepper that goes through

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Speaker 1: the sky. Those whims I thought they could eat spicy food.

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Speaker 1: And as for the customer, he says he's definitely gonna

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Speaker 1: press charges. Oh Man. Side note, courding with a K

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Speaker 1: does not work for door dash anymore. Oh Wow, she

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Speaker 1: works for Peppermill. This next Lazer story is out of Skegness, England.

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Speaker 1: Eighty six year old Roy Marsh was taking a walk

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Speaker 1: around a lake to get some exercise the other day,

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Speaker 1: and after he got about halfway, he sat down on

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Speaker 1: a bench to rest. Oh, yeah, he's eighty six man,

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Speaker 1: and that's when some beech grass flew into his mouth.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what he did, spat it out immediately, and

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Speaker 1: little did he know that was a big mistake. A

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Speaker 1: few seconds later, he got a tap on his shoulder

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Speaker 1: and two enforcement officers asked if they could have a

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Speaker 1: word with him. Oh, oh, why, it's not that type

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Speaker 1: of grass, officers. Was Roy a wanted criminal? Yeah, a

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Speaker 1: missing person? None of the above. Roy was in trouble

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Speaker 1: with the law for spitting. Apparently in that particular area,

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Speaker 1: environmental enforcement officers are required to strictly impose the district's

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Speaker 1: no spitting rule. But it was just it was beach gruss, Jeff.

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Speaker 1: That's what Roy tried to explain to them. It was

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Speaker 1: beach grass. It flew into my mouth. But they were

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Speaker 1: having none of his lies and wrote him a three

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Speaker 1: hundred and thirty four dollars ticket. Oh my gosh, that

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Speaker 1: is wild. I mean, I thought that they were going

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Speaker 1: to tackle him and handcuff him, but I guess well,

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Speaker 1: he and his wife paid it, but the officers told

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Speaker 1: him next time it happens, it's possible they'll throw him

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Speaker 1: in jail. Who oh my gosh, don't open your mouth

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Speaker 1: when you're resting. Sure America, This next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of Food News is for the first time ever

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Speaker 1: in the US, Oreo is dropping a zero sugar version.

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Speaker 1: And no, it's not a knockoff that you'd find in

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Speaker 1: the back aisle of a pharmacy. We're talking about the

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Speaker 1: real deal, Thank god, because I've been eating the triple stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, because the quadruple is ultimate sugar. It's nice

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Speaker 1: that you have your your life. With more than half

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Speaker 1: the country trying to dial back their sugar intake, there's

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Speaker 1: been a strange hole in the snack universe. No true

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Speaker 1: sugar free sandwich cookie that actually tastes like the original

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Speaker 1: until now it says aspartame free because that's usually the

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Speaker 1: stuff that I hate, Right Monk fruit aspertin and with

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Speaker 1: and Nabisco says with a cookie dropping next month. Bonus,

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Speaker 1: you can still twist and dunk. I wonder change the

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Speaker 1: texture of the frosting. Oh, I think we should do

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Speaker 1: applying taste tests. Let's do it. Yeah. They claim it

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Speaker 1: tastes exactly like the original, and management made sure the

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Speaker 1: OREO zero keeps the whole ritual intact. So the big

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Speaker 1: question everyone's asking what do they use instead of sugar?

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Speaker 1: Luckily it's sweetened with all natural multitole polydextros, sucralose, as

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Speaker 1: to flulitame, potassium, and notably zero aspartame, so you know

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Speaker 1: it's totally legito. Oh yeah, got it sounds so yummy

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Speaker 1: when you read those ingredients health. I love polydextros. Just

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Speaker 1: go to your final laser story out of Holiday headquarters.

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Speaker 1: All right, are you a good gift wrapper? And are

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Speaker 1: we worse at it than we used to be? Probably?

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Speaker 1: Google shared a list of the top gifts that we

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Speaker 1: are struggling to wrap right now? Okay, number four, how

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Speaker 1: to wrap a candle that is called a gift bag. Yeah, amazing,

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Speaker 1: you just discovered very nice. Round stuff is definitely harder

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Speaker 1: to wrap. YouTube has a lot of videos on how

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Speaker 1: to do it and what expert says. Don't bother just

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Speaker 1: like Brook said, toss it in a gift bag. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Number three on the most googled things to wrap how

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Speaker 1: to give a baseball bat as a gift and not

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Speaker 1: know what it is? Why even wrap it? You can

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Speaker 1: tell the easiest way is to put it into a

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Speaker 1: big box or go get a cardboard shipping tube. You

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Speaker 1: could also just pop a bow on it and call

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Speaker 1: it good. Yeah, although one gift wrapping expert says, forget

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Speaker 1: about it, just toss it in a gift bagh. It's

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Speaker 1: a big gift. I mean, it could be one of

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Speaker 1: those really long wine bags pieces like that, and then

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Speaker 1: you can just reassemble beautiful. Number two how to wrap

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Speaker 1: power wheels like the little cars one. Yeah, if you

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Speaker 1: want to assembled then out of the box. Maybe don't

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Speaker 1: wrap that one, just go with a really big bow

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Speaker 1: on top. Oh, those are the ones that the kids

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Speaker 1: actually ride on. Although one expert says it's a million

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Speaker 1: times easier if you can just toss it in a

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Speaker 1: gift bag. Yeah, it's a huge gift bag. And finally,

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Speaker 1: the number one thing we're asking Google to help us

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Speaker 1: get wrapped a calendar because it's obvious what it is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe who's I don't know, you would think it's one

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Speaker 1: of the easiest things to wrap, but a lot of

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Speaker 1: people roll it up and accidentally damage it that way instead,

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Speaker 1: square or rectangle? Well instead. One gift wrapping expert says

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Speaker 1: this might surprise you. It's square and flat, so just

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Speaker 1: wrap it normal, okay? Or throw it in a gift bag. Yes,

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Speaker 1: square gift back. I feel like after this list, anyone

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Speaker 1: could be a gift wrappings Jeff. What do I do

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Speaker 1: when I want to give a gift bag for a gift? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: In a gift bag? Yeah, gift bag inception that one.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of gifts that are hard to wrap. This guy's

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Speaker 1: hoping for a calendar as well for Christmas. Famous footwear

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Speaker 1: from the eighteen hundreds of those in Napoleonic military boots

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Speaker 1: with buttons straps he has, don't mind if I do.

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Speaker 1: That's how means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day. Whoops, there goes my phone. It's over.

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Speaker 1: Somebody's find me a new iPhone and put it in

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Speaker 1: a gift bag. No, you don't do it again, same

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Speaker 1: time on Wednesday,