Speaker 1: First of all, you don't know me. All about that
Speaker 1: high school drama girl drama girl, all about.
Speaker 2: Them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride.
Speaker 2: And our comic girl shared for the right teams Drama Queens,
Speaker 2: Jaylie's my girl, up girl fashion, but your tough girl,
Speaker 2: you could sit with us.
Speaker 1: Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Drahma Queens
Speaker 1: Drama Queens.
Speaker 3: Hi Friends, welcome in. We have another special episode for
Speaker 3: you today, coming from none other than Wilmington, North Carolina.
Speaker 3: I am joined by the one and only b Jail.
Speaker 3: That's Bethany joy Lens for you people who aren't hip,
Speaker 3: and we have an extraordinarily cool guest. I was so
Speaker 3: excited when I heard about this booking because she happens
Speaker 3: to be one of my new favorite friends, the life
Speaker 3: of every party, and everyone's favorite nanny slash ex wife
Speaker 3: slash firecrackers.
Speaker 4: X addict X what is hato on Tripper? Like?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the one and only Barbara Allen woods Hight.
Speaker 2: Guys, we're just debating, is it Babs? Is it Barbie?
Speaker 4: Is all of the above anything that starts with b
Speaker 4: okay beautiful? Yeah, all those.
Speaker 2: Things anything yes, Babe, brave, I go with babe, I
Speaker 2: love bad.
Speaker 4: We're going there, we go.
Speaker 2: You're saying you always got this rep you got the
Speaker 2: reputation as a party girl.
Speaker 4: Well, I know it's since One Tree Hill. I have
Speaker 4: this reputation as a party girl. It's since One Tree Hill.
Speaker 4: I think so like people think that of me, and
Speaker 4: I feel like it's just such a bubble burst when
Speaker 4: they find out I'm kind of a homebody. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: I think it's also because I'm I'm an open book
Speaker 4: like you guys, I'm now inviting you to open my
Speaker 4: book because I just like, I just say how I
Speaker 4: feel all the time. And so when they asked me
Speaker 4: to host certain things like events, I'm out there and
Speaker 4: I tell it like it is, and I put people
Speaker 4: in their place, and that I think they think that
Speaker 4: I'm just like a crazy, wild party girl.
Speaker 3: Well, having spent some time with you at the last
Speaker 3: convention in Paris that we did together, I will say
Speaker 3: I think it's just also because you have such a
Speaker 3: lightness to you and energy, and it just seems like
Speaker 3: you are You're genuinely enjoying like wherever you are, and
Speaker 3: so I think it's very easy to confuse that with
Speaker 3: like a party girl, yeah, because usually it takes people
Speaker 3: booze to just be like in an ordinary setting. But
Speaker 3: that's just kind of the energy you carry with you
Speaker 3: wherever you go.
Speaker 4: And it sounds really corny, but I really do enjoy
Speaker 4: One Tree Hill events. I mean they make me happy,
Speaker 4: like the reunion with these some of my favorite people.
Speaker 4: I do so it's genuine, you know, I don't like
Speaker 4: fake the happiness and I'm having a good time. I
Speaker 4: really am having a good time.
Speaker 2: But you're consistent. You're consistent in your which is one
Speaker 2: of my favorite qualities in people anyway. Is that the
Speaker 2: joy that we see in you here whenever we come.
Speaker 2: When I see you outside of these environments too, you're
Speaker 2: the same when I talk to you on the phone
Speaker 2: and be like, you're just you have a as a webside,
Speaker 2: you have a lightness, there's an effor escence.
Speaker 4: And I feel supportive of my castmates in general, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean that makes me feel like I'm saying, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm a saint or something, but I really do. Like
Speaker 4: I went to the concerts last night. I love going
Speaker 4: to your concert I love wherever Tyler is. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: can I be there, you know, just like to support support,
Speaker 4: because we all kind of came from the same place.
Speaker 4: You guys are off doing so many other things now,
Speaker 4: but it's like, why.
Speaker 2: Not, you know, we kind of get to reclaim some
Speaker 2: time that we didn't get to. We didn't know how
Speaker 2: to do that for each and kind of making up
Speaker 2: for me and maybe making up for lost time.
Speaker 4: I never knew the second half of the show. I
Speaker 4: never knew you guys, and I knew you and Joy.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, so many things. This is a whole
Speaker 4: other podcast, but so many things I wish we had
Speaker 4: spoken about. Yeah, we were working together every day, Like
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's just so maybe for me it
Speaker 4: is making up for lost time. Yeah, for making up
Speaker 4: for time that I wish I had spent a tiny
Speaker 4: bit differently when I was doing the show. But I
Speaker 4: was so focused on raising kids full time. Yeah, so
Speaker 4: I would work and go home, race kids, work, go home,
Speaker 4: race kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, An, you were all in that stage of
Speaker 2: life in a different way. Yeah. I wasn't raising kids,
Speaker 2: but I was obviously had my own crazy world going on,
Speaker 2: and we're all, you know, we were all in that
Speaker 2: phase of life where we were keeping our work separate
Speaker 2: from our personal lives, which makes sense. Everybody wants to
Speaker 2: be professional. But it when I if I did it
Speaker 2: again in another place that was insular, like Wilmington is,
Speaker 2: I really would want to invest in the people that
Speaker 2: I was working with.
Speaker 4: How I feel. Yeah, yeah, well.
Speaker 3: That's what these conventions are. I mean, that's what they
Speaker 3: were for me. Was that like we got to come
Speaker 3: back as adults, and I just realized how great the
Speaker 3: group is and it is like we talk all the time.
Speaker 3: It's like strong summer camp vibes, you know. Because when
Speaker 3: I was doing the show, like I had my own
Speaker 3: stuff going on. Everyone else had their own stuff going on,
Speaker 3: so we didn't really get to know each other. And
Speaker 3: then it was sort of like we all like left
Speaker 3: war and then we came back once we like did
Speaker 3: some healing and we went, oh, you're actually a cool person.
Speaker 3: Yeah I like you. Yeah great.
Speaker 4: And also when we were in Paris, because it was
Speaker 4: like hours were long and long, there were a lot
Speaker 4: of people and we love our Paris fans and it's
Speaker 4: a lot of emotion, and I felt like we were
Speaker 4: all in the trenches together, like in the green room
Speaker 4: was like the trenches, but we were in it together.
Speaker 4: We're going to get through this together. So it's like
Speaker 4: a bonding experience.
Speaker 2: You know, you've worked so long that you've had such
Speaker 2: an illustrious career, and is it illustrious or illustrious, I'm
Speaker 2: not sure what the right word is, but either way,
Speaker 2: it's been fabulous. Have you found this kind of energy
Speaker 2: on a lot of other sets that you've been on,
Speaker 2: Like it was a unique.
Speaker 4: You know, you always have a few people, you know, it's, oh,
Speaker 4: we're a family, We're going to keep in touch, and
Speaker 4: it's so hard, but I do have a few from
Speaker 4: other shows that you know, years years, years ago, and
Speaker 4: they're still a part of my family, which is amazing.
Speaker 4: And if you can get the like pick out a
Speaker 4: few special people to carry with you to the rest
Speaker 4: of you know, for the rest of your life, it's
Speaker 4: really special. But these conventions, and I know this has
Speaker 4: been said a hundred times, but this is keeping us together.
Speaker 4: These conventions are keeping us together, and I don't know,
Speaker 4: I just hope they never die because.
Speaker 3: Because that's the tree Hill forever. If we didn't have
Speaker 3: these conventions, I would be hard. I wouldn't have almost
Speaker 3: any of the relationships I have with one Tree Hill
Speaker 3: cast members today.
Speaker 4: And yeah, podcast, you know, keeping people together. No, it's
Speaker 4: it's good. It's all good. We're all such special people,
Speaker 4: special special people.
Speaker 3: Just jump right into Okay, you have had a lot
Speaker 3: of TV daughters. So here's my question for you. Who
Speaker 3: was your favorite TV daughter? Your real life daughter Natalie,
Speaker 3: or your real life daughter.
Speaker 4: Emily Robert or my real life daughter Allie Ally played
Speaker 4: your daughter for an entire series.
Speaker 2: Oh was that, Chuckie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought that.
Speaker 2: Was Emily for some reason.
Speaker 4: That was But I did play Emily's daughter. I played
Speaker 4: Emily's daughter in a pilot, I played her mother, and
Speaker 4: then on The Goldbergs, I played Natalie's mother.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. The Goldbergs great.
Speaker 3: And now let's make it all three of your real
Speaker 3: life doors. I want you to rank them, Rob.
Speaker 2: You can't. I told you.
Speaker 5: For it.
Speaker 4: Well, first of all, I liked my character the most
Speaker 4: that I played against Alie. Okay, I liked that character
Speaker 4: the most because she was just a raging, crazy, you know,
Speaker 4: hot mess, and it was so much fun because she
Speaker 4: was a regular on the show, and so we were
Speaker 4: running lines at home, we were living together, you know,
Speaker 4: not at home, not in La So we were living
Speaker 4: together in an apartment, just the two of us and
Speaker 4: having to run these lines where I was just the
Speaker 4: worst mother in the world and we could literally not
Speaker 4: look at each other without laughing. And I didn't know
Speaker 4: if we would be able to make it to set,
Speaker 4: Like I didn't know how we would be on set.
Speaker 4: I thought we were going to be unprofessional, like we
Speaker 4: couldn't get through because we couldn't make it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4: Like really hard to call her names and to be
Speaker 4: so horrible to her and look in her eyes. But
Speaker 4: then when we got there, it was it was great.
Speaker 4: So I'd have to say that experience and my cheating
Speaker 4: because I'm not choosing Ali, but the experience with Alie
Speaker 4: I'll choose. It's But the Goldbergs was a comedy. That's
Speaker 4: my favorite thing to do. I love doing comedy, so
Speaker 4: that was yeah. And then Emily. I just love hanging
Speaker 4: out with Emily, so that was really political answer.
Speaker 3: So what I heard though was that it was nowhere
Speaker 3: near clothes. It was Olivia first place, Natalie second place,
Speaker 3: in an adduced in third Ama.
Speaker 4: But the thing is Alie's here with me right now too,
Speaker 4: is she.
Speaker 2: So oh, we just saw her when we came in.
Speaker 4: She's so fun. She's got that same energy that you do.
Speaker 2: By the way, she really carries that same and Natalie
Speaker 2: and I know all three girls. And when I see
Speaker 2: Natalie and I run into her at like events, which
Speaker 2: is the last time I saw her with some event,
Speaker 2: She's like, she's so beautiful and she's so intelligent, and
Speaker 2: she's but she's got it's not like the lightness, but
Speaker 2: she's not like edgy.
Speaker 3: She's like she's super warm.
Speaker 4: She's warm, so much warm.
Speaker 3: Yes, the same thing.
Speaker 2: Wow, yes, incredibly, AMI's like crazy smart, super edgy. She's got. Yes,
Speaker 2: she's also got a warmth to her. I mean she's
Speaker 2: not cold, but it's it's different.
Speaker 4: She's cool. When you call me extraordinarily cool, Like no
Speaker 4: one has ever called me that because I'm not cool.
Speaker 3: Instagram get out there, you.
Speaker 4: Passed it down. I mean, I have a cool life,
Speaker 4: but I'm not cool.
Speaker 3: I'm cool with Joy and I are supremely cool. We
Speaker 3: only hang out people.
Speaker 4: You have a cool energy. I don't. It's okay, I'm
Speaker 4: fine with that. But Emily has a cool energy.
Speaker 3: Do you think is there anyone else in the industry.
Speaker 3: You can think of who has worked with their children
Speaker 3: and the capacity.
Speaker 6: That you have.
Speaker 7: It's yeah, so you've worked in a you've recreated your
Speaker 7: parent child dynamic with all three of your children. I
Speaker 7: can't think of anyone else who's done that.
Speaker 4: And I homeschooled all of them too, And I mean
Speaker 4: we're friends somehow still because they've spent a lot of
Speaker 4: time with me.
Speaker 3: It sounds like someone might be extraordinarily cool.
Speaker 4: I'll take it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But Nadalie's producing now, so I'm like, oh, she's
Speaker 4: a producer now, she can hire all of us. That's perfect.
Speaker 3: Get this gang. Ray, the founder of Friends with Benefits,
Speaker 3: the convention company that runs these amazing events that we
Speaker 3: are currently at, has been working on and designed a
Speaker 3: one Tree Hill Fiend Airbnb. Yeah, andwhere else but Wilmington,
Speaker 3: North Carolina. And get this gang. It is available for
Speaker 3: booking now on the Airbnb app.
Speaker 2: This is such a cool idea. I remember us talking
Speaker 2: about this a while ago and we never actually followed
Speaker 2: through that. I'm so glad somebody else did.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 2: The FWB team, led by Ray, Brittany and Jannita, along
Speaker 2: with a ton of help from volunteers, are officially turning
Speaker 2: trick back into the actual trick like the night club
Speaker 2: in the show. For more updates about that and other events,
Speaker 2: follow FWB on Instagram at FWB Charity Events.
Speaker 3: Are you a better teacher or actor? Oh?
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm a really good acting teacher.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well with my.
Speaker 3: Office, with a tremendous job, with my god, these questions.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've often been approached about coaching people because
Speaker 4: of their success, but I don't think I could coach
Speaker 4: anyone other than my daughters, because I you know, I'm
Speaker 4: like tough. I'm tough, and I feel like I can
Speaker 4: be tough with them, But I don't think I could
Speaker 4: be tough with and I have to coach people who
Speaker 4: are already good, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I couldn't teach someone to be good, but I don't
Speaker 2: know if anyone can. I mean, you either know how
Speaker 2: to act or you don't. You know, you have an
Speaker 2: instinct to know how to tell a story, or isn't
Speaker 2: it funny?
Speaker 4: Yeah, isn't I think?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think so too. It's something you're born with, But.
Speaker 2: Whether you are a professional actor and pursue it or
Speaker 2: not doesn't necessarily make the qualification I think it's just
Speaker 2: like people inherently either have the ability to feel comfortable
Speaker 2: in whatever environment and just share their story, yeah or not.
Speaker 4: And I'm not necessarily into coaching in general, but that's
Speaker 4: a whole other thing. But I think because they were
Speaker 4: my kids, I could just you know, teach them the
Speaker 4: basics and just to trust their instincts and you know,
Speaker 4: things like that.
Speaker 3: But so did I answer, I was more speaking to
Speaker 3: the homeschooling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, okay, I was a really good teacher. First
Speaker 4: of all, I was a good student in school. I
Speaker 4: was I was, you know, an a student. So school
Speaker 4: was really important to me. And when my kids decided
Speaker 4: they wanted to graduate early because their actors, it was
Speaker 4: a big deal to me that I was taking school
Speaker 4: away from them because just the social like what I
Speaker 4: what I got out of school socially was a lot
Speaker 4: for me, and I carried that with me through life.
Speaker 4: So it was a little bit sad to me that
Speaker 4: I was taking that away. Homecoming dances and just you know,
Speaker 4: friends and hanging the lockers and like they don't know
Speaker 4: how to do a locker code because they've never been
Speaker 4: to school, pe all those things you know, after school,
Speaker 4: eating lunch in the cafeteria, like, they're not going to
Speaker 4: have those things.
Speaker 2: I experienced in Wintrell, all of our characters exactly.
Speaker 4: So school was important to me, so I made sure
Speaker 4: that they had all those little I even had a
Speaker 4: homecoming dance for Ali. I threw a homecoming dance. It
Speaker 4: was a prom, not homecoming a prom. But I was
Speaker 4: a good teacher because it was important to me. And
Speaker 4: also I became an actress, and I was a little
Speaker 4: sad that I didn't pursue anything, you know, in the
Speaker 4: other fields. I wanted to be an English teacher, and
Speaker 4: so in the program that I had them, and I
Speaker 4: was able to choose any subjects and go as heavy
Speaker 4: or light as I wanted to. And they took tests
Speaker 4: at the end and they had to show that they
Speaker 4: were proficient. But it was very heavy arts because it
Speaker 4: seemed as though that was the direction they were going anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I wasn't trying to manipulate them into the arts, but
Speaker 4: it seemed like that was the direction they were going.
Speaker 4: So we would watch classics. So if you ask my daughters,
Speaker 4: you know their favorite movies, they'll know the classics. They'll
Speaker 4: know you know who Elizabeth Taylor is and they've seen
Speaker 4: all of her movies. And then we would for science,
Speaker 4: which was not my strong point, we would watch documentaries
Speaker 4: and or movies about science and homeschool. I was so
Speaker 4: fun able to just I don't know, Taylor, their education
Speaker 4: to what they seemed to be interested in and where
Speaker 4: their paths were going. So I wonder if that's one
Speaker 4: of the reasons why. You know, it's so rare a
Speaker 4: thing to meet kids who grew up in LA who
Speaker 4: are children of entertainment professionals who are normal and down
Speaker 4: to earth and cool and actually like really healthy. And
Speaker 4: as you're talking about being their acting teacher and teaching
Speaker 4: them how to trust their instincts, there's something especially for
Speaker 4: young women about learning at a young age how to
Speaker 4: trust your instinct and.
Speaker 2: Be okay with that. Yes, that is pretty pretty formative.
Speaker 2: I bet that's played a huge role. I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: not their mother, but I would assume from listening to
Speaker 2: what you're saying that played a huge role in who
Speaker 2: they are today and why they're so healthy and grounded.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and not being over coached. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 4: a lot of you know, when you're not in the
Speaker 4: business and you're a parent who wants to get your
Speaker 4: kids into the business because they're precocious or there, they
Speaker 4: seem to have talent, or they're good looking or whatever,
Speaker 4: and then you us to get them coached and coached
Speaker 4: and coached and coached, and they stop thinking for themselves.
Speaker 4: And so for me, it was just it was really
Speaker 4: all about don't think. Don't think.
Speaker 2: It creates a massive amount of insecurity as well, I
Speaker 2: think because then you're constantly focused on yourself all the time.
Speaker 4: Yes, so as a young actor, as a young.
Speaker 2: Actor, Yeah, so that's it sounds like you've I've always
Speaker 2: been in awe of your ability as a mother.
Speaker 4: That is the nicest compliment.
Speaker 2: I truly have. You always felt like a safe play
Speaker 2: and I we were texting the other day about this,
Speaker 2: but you always felt like a safe place to me
Speaker 2: on set, and I didn't I didn't know necessarily how
Speaker 2: to ask for advice or how many times, but even
Speaker 2: like I mean that time I had to put my
Speaker 2: cat down and Barbara came over and was like there
Speaker 2: with me while I had to put my cat. The
Speaker 2: cavet came over and Barbara just sat with me because
Speaker 2: I was like, I need a mom, and I don't
Speaker 2: want to do this alone. I'm like, twenty two, I
Speaker 2: don't want to put my hat down alone.
Speaker 4: Really twenty two. And I thought I didn't have a
Speaker 4: twenty two year old then, so I thought of you as,
Speaker 4: you know, an adult, like yeah, but now I know
Speaker 4: what twenty two is. Oh my god, I'm really young.
Speaker 2: So young. Yeah, so you always felt it was such
Speaker 2: a safe place. I'm just so lucky that we got
Speaker 2: you on the show.
Speaker 4: But once again, I would love to do it again
Speaker 4: and be there more for you and more for all
Speaker 4: the girls, and to be because I think I've always
Speaker 4: been a mom, Like I'm very maternal. I knew when
Speaker 4: I was ten years old I wanted to be a
Speaker 4: mom and even done with my friends, I was maternal.
Speaker 4: So I wish I would have had more time with
Speaker 4: all of you to mother you and just to be
Speaker 4: there and you id But like I said, I didn't
Speaker 4: think of you as young because you were all so
Speaker 4: you acted so mature. I don't know what you were
Speaker 4: feeling inside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but feeling like we were fourteen, like what are
Speaker 2: we doing here? Just raising ourselves? Yeah, so weird?
Speaker 4: Yeah, not living at home?
Speaker 2: And I know, so do you have advice for like
Speaker 2: what advice do you have as a mom? Like what
Speaker 2: are some of the best pieces of advice that you've
Speaker 2: been given or that you've learned.
Speaker 4: What I've learned is the less you react when they
Speaker 4: they're going to hear this and that's my secret's going
Speaker 4: to be gone. But the less you react when they
Speaker 4: tell you something shocking, the more they'll tell you yes.
Speaker 4: And even if you don't agree with what they've done
Speaker 4: or what they're telling you, go with it because they're
Speaker 4: telling you because they either need to get it off
Speaker 4: their chest or they they need advice, or they trust you.
Speaker 4: And if you go what you did that, you know,
Speaker 4: like the less judgmental you are, the more they'll confide
Speaker 4: in you, which has been really hard Emily. My Metal
Speaker 4: just tells me everything, and sometimes you don't want to
Speaker 4: hear certain things, but you just have to go with it.
Speaker 5: Like okay, it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 4: And then you know you're not going to cut, you know,
Speaker 4: cut the communication off, because as soon as you are
Speaker 4: judging them.
Speaker 2: It's over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 2: That feels like really consistent advice in terms of your
Speaker 2: personality as well, because you provide that space for everybody
Speaker 2: I think that you come into contact with you feel judge.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you want people in your life who don't judge you.
Speaker 4: That's right, unconditional space.
Speaker 3: And the same thing with the toddler. Right, it's like
Speaker 3: the bigger reaction you have to them doing something, the
Speaker 3: better the odds they're going to keep doing.
Speaker 2: It, yes, you know, or they'll be they'll be terrified
Speaker 2: and won't ever take risks again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's that too.
Speaker 2: It's a big deal with a toddler. What are what
Speaker 2: are some of your big pieces of advice that you
Speaker 2: feel like you've already garnered wisdom on, Like, ah, okay,
Speaker 2: here's the hack.
Speaker 3: I have two mantras that I have been leaning on heavily,
Speaker 3: and especially in December when the whole family got COVID
Speaker 3: so everyone was at like eight percent. Yeah, I really
Speaker 3: leaned into this is funny because it was something like
Speaker 3: it was part of the script for our kids. But
Speaker 3: I ended up using it myself, which is I can
Speaker 3: do hard things, so like I would, I'd be having
Speaker 3: moments where I was literally at my wits end, like
Speaker 3: the very best I could do was to not make
Speaker 3: the situation worse, and I would actually say aloud.
Speaker 6: I can do hard things.
Speaker 3: And my kid would look at me like what is
Speaker 3: Dad melting down? But it would like it would rain
Speaker 3: me in. And then I heard I heard another one
Speaker 3: two days ago. Jenny told me, you know, when he's
Speaker 3: having a big feelings, there's a simple question, would you
Speaker 3: like to be heard, helped or hugged?
Speaker 2: Wow? And I have all three yes and yes, all
Speaker 2: three are totally.
Speaker 3: And then the last thing, because it's the third, is
Speaker 3: this is just when I just remind myself because I
Speaker 3: didn't realize how much anxiety I have until I heard
Speaker 3: the way I would be talking to like to our son,
Speaker 3: so you know, like he would spill the oneter and
Speaker 3: be like money, bunny, Bunny money. I was like, oh wait,
Speaker 3: he's going to pick this up like I need And.
Speaker 4: Then you hear him do it.
Speaker 3: Yes, And so I always remind myself like slow down, soften,
Speaker 3: just don't take it all so seriously. Yeah, and it
Speaker 3: kind of helps me rain it and like it's just
Speaker 3: water on the floor. Yeah, you know, like because I
Speaker 3: can catch myself getting like a little too tight on
Speaker 3: the reins, like and it's like.
Speaker 4: And they pick up your energy, They just pick up
Speaker 4: your energy. It's you know, yeah, whatever you're feeling. Sometimes
Speaker 4: I'm in a really good mood and I notice people
Speaker 4: like my kids are in good moods, like wait, why
Speaker 4: did I start that train? Like did I? Am I
Speaker 4: the one who's like creating this? Or if I'm not
Speaker 4: in a good mood, same thing, like why are you
Speaker 4: so crabby? Well, because you are. You're like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: the one who has to be like the happy one here, Okay,
Speaker 4: I got it. And you're well you're in the teenage
Speaker 4: teen years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, isn't that nuts?
Speaker 4: And a girl teenage?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Superd are you doing I'm doing great?
Speaker 4: You're doing good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's great. She's so polite and kind and like
Speaker 2: it's it's fun and you know, I mean it's just
Speaker 2: been the two of us for so yeah life really, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we have we have our we have our thing. I
Speaker 2: mean I think that's it. Just like don't get on
Speaker 2: the roller coaster. Come to show up to the theme
Speaker 2: park with them, but like you stay on the ground
Speaker 2: and they get to go on the roller coaster. Yes,
Speaker 2: and I'm just here when you get off the ride
Speaker 2: way for the top while you're at the top. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: it's it's been It's been really a joy. Truly, I
Speaker 2: feel I feel so lucky.
Speaker 4: It's besting ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is ever. Well, you got to be the
Speaker 2: mom of a boy on One Treo, and I wondered, like.
Speaker 4: How how debt? Like how Deb?
Speaker 2: We've had you on the show before, so I don't
Speaker 2: remember which questions we've already asked you or not, but
Speaker 2: like I wanted to know how Deb came to be
Speaker 2: the personality that she became.
Speaker 4: Is that funny because it was because she went downhill?
Speaker 4: She felt so much like this.
Speaker 2: It was very much what I think of as like
Speaker 2: a boy mom like she was really she was really
Speaker 2: kind of strong and tough and like had everything in
Speaker 2: all her ducks in a row and everything was very
Speaker 2: not chaotic, and then the world just all started falling out.
Speaker 4: I don't think they had what happened to Dub. I
Speaker 4: don't think was planned. I think this is my theory
Speaker 4: and I might have said this on the podcast before,
Speaker 4: but my theory is that, well, first of all, the
Speaker 4: writers on One Tree Hill really wrote I think for
Speaker 4: us as they got to know us, maybe wrote to
Speaker 4: our strengths, yeah, maybe added some comedy or not, and
Speaker 4: maybe tried to press some buttons, some emotional buttons where
Speaker 4: we didn't want them to trusim. Yes, but I think
Speaker 4: that when they got to know me and they knew
Speaker 4: I was sort of up for fun, party, party, Barbara, party,
Speaker 4: Babs whatever, they knew I was up for fun and
Speaker 4: just kind of like, yeah, throw me some fun, exciting
Speaker 4: stuff to do that. At that point, Deb started going
Speaker 4: downhill because.
Speaker 3: She became you know, Cayo.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, you were never having more fun, Like it
Speaker 4: was so much more fun to play a character like that.
Speaker 4: When I go back and watch the beginning episode, she's
Speaker 4: just boring, Like that character is just like, Okay, let's
Speaker 4: have some fun.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What was the sort of initial conceit of Deb, Like,
Speaker 3: how how big of a role was supposed to have?
Speaker 3: What did it look like?
Speaker 4: Dad was a three episode arc?
Speaker 3: God, you didn't do so well? Yeah, but you overstayed
Speaker 3: your welcome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and this is even better. I was on another
Speaker 4: show at the same time, not a regular but a
Speaker 4: recurring role in LA and I knew that one Treehill
Speaker 4: wanted me for three episodes. I was in love with
Speaker 4: this character. I just love I was in love with
Speaker 4: the show, the writing, and I don't think I saw
Speaker 4: into the future that I would be there further than
Speaker 4: three episodes, but I really wanted those three episodes. But
Speaker 4: I had to choose between the two shows, and the
Speaker 4: other show would have possibly taken me further as well,
Speaker 4: and I had to choose, and I chose One Tree
Speaker 4: Hill knowing that it was only three episodes. So then
Speaker 4: when they extended and I and on top of it,
Speaker 4: I never went home. So after three episodes, they said,
Speaker 4: would they want to keep you here? So I didn't
Speaker 4: even pack for it. I didn't even I never even
Speaker 4: went home. So yeah, and then.
Speaker 2: You were here for five years.
Speaker 4: How I always remember, I mean I always forget how
Speaker 4: many I don't know.
Speaker 2: But we were just watching episodes, like a Thanksgiving episode
Speaker 2: that I directed, and you weren't there.
Speaker 3: I was like, where is Dan weird death disappearing. It's
Speaker 3: like when Dan goes away.
Speaker 4: No one explained it away. No one explained it, which is.
Speaker 3: More than Dan.
Speaker 4: Yes, And all of a sudden, she just shows up
Speaker 4: one day with Jamie, I think as the babysitter or
Speaker 4: something like. No one ever really in.
Speaker 2: Eight, you're just gone. Did you ever get a phone call?
Speaker 2: Were you working on other things?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Seven I really honestly don't remember. I think season
Speaker 4: eight I moved back to La so I must have
Speaker 4: thought I wasn't coming back. I don't remember. Like the series.
Speaker 4: I think they were going to have me come like
Speaker 4: an occurring basis or something. I don't really remember, but.
Speaker 2: Come back for the end I did. Okay, I don't
Speaker 2: remember yet.
Speaker 3: Was season seven though, when Skills and Dead had a thing?
Speaker 2: No, it was like five. I think it was early
Speaker 2: I should know this, but I think that was five.
Speaker 2: And then they broke up, you guys broke up and
Speaker 2: then you helped us the nanny Carey thing. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was psychotic and season six maybe I remember exact.
Speaker 4: And I had Allie I think season five. Yeah, so
Speaker 4: I had to leave for a little bit to have her.
Speaker 4: And yeah, well we missed a lot of lunch.
Speaker 2: We're really missing you on the show right now as
Speaker 2: we're watching.
Speaker 4: What are you on right now?
Speaker 3: Eight twelve?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well what's happening? So Brooke and Julian are almost
Speaker 2: about to get married? Okay, And you'll never believe me,
Speaker 2: My god, I didn't.
Speaker 4: Watch you guys, watch you guys. I watched the whole
Speaker 4: show with Allie, not at the time, now Ali wanted
Speaker 4: to watch all nine. Now she wants she's starting over.
Speaker 4: She's a mega fan now, and it's so different for
Speaker 4: her to be here. Well she knew you already, but
Speaker 4: like to know everybody, and being here is different because
Speaker 4: she used to go to the conventions of me and
Speaker 4: not really no everybody, but same here. Like I didn't
Speaker 4: see your work until recently you got You're good.
Speaker 5: You're so good.
Speaker 2: It really good so much.
Speaker 3: It was the same with you. I hadn't because we
Speaker 3: never crossed paths. Yeah, it wasn't until the rewatch It's.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, you're so good.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's that's right, just.
Speaker 4: Like kind of like two different shows. But I mean,
Speaker 4: I wish I'd come back and entered your storyline.
Speaker 3: That would have been so much fun. I mean, what
Speaker 3: would deb and Clay have gotten into.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my goodness, we would have hadn't a fair
Speaker 2: Oh oh absolutely, As.
Speaker 4: I stopped for a second because Quinn, yeah, oh I
Speaker 4: would I.
Speaker 2: Mean Quinn went off to like, oh no, she said
Speaker 2: she was going to forgo or something, but she didn't
Speaker 2: go the right age.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh yeah eighteen.
Speaker 3: I know this because I think the character was supposed
Speaker 3: to be remember when I got the job. I think
Speaker 3: the character is supposed to be like early thirties, and
Speaker 3: I was twenty eight or twenty nine, and so I
Speaker 3: was like, it's They're like, it's cool, just grow out
Speaker 3: your facial hair. And so if you go back and
Speaker 3: watch my first two episodes, I have a very unconvincing.
Speaker 4: Do to make you look a one year older, truly,
Speaker 4: to the.
Speaker 3: Point where it gets abandoned, like one or two episodes
Speaker 3: in the season seven because I was like, I don't
Speaker 3: think that in La was.
Speaker 4: Like her face, but you were playing an adult with
Speaker 4: the job, So yeah, that would have been perfect fit.
Speaker 4: My god, damn, oh well that so many in another way.
Speaker 3: Would club Would that be our couple of men?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Club day no delay delay. That's so good.
Speaker 4: I love all the imagining that funny because it would
Speaker 4: have been I was pregnant on the show, hoping that
Speaker 4: they would just write it in instead of having to hide.
Speaker 4: It's hard to hide a woman's stomach and enormous boobs,
Speaker 4: and let's write it in deb Yeah, because Deb's what
Speaker 4: thirty nine or something, She's not like she's fifty two.
Speaker 4: Like it's I mean, I'm pregnant, So deb could be pregnant.
Speaker 4: We're kind of the same age. And for the writers,
Speaker 4: just like they're like, what, we don't know what to
Speaker 4: do to be pregnant?
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I think the same thing happened to Haley,
Speaker 2: Like once I had a kid, then they were kind
Speaker 2: of like, well, what do we do with you now?
Speaker 2: Like you're not interesting anymore?
Speaker 4: So everything opens up, like so many possibilities, becomes so
Speaker 4: much more interesting, become so much more aware of, so
Speaker 4: much more yourself, so much more comfortable being who you are.
Speaker 4: We can throw in a sexy nanny that you hire.
Speaker 2: So many possibilities, so many possibilities. Wait, speaking of possibilities,
Speaker 2: I've said for a while that there should be a
Speaker 2: prequel to Onetree Hill, Like there should be they need
Speaker 2: to do like Deb, Dan and Karen in the eighties.
Speaker 4: You know, so I've never heard this idea that you know,
Speaker 4: one of my daughters could plain and the prequel.
Speaker 2: This is my question, Actually, which one of your daughters
Speaker 2: do you think?
Speaker 4: I mean, well, look, we know that.
Speaker 2: Olivia is the right age. Ali's like God, she's the
Speaker 2: writing the same energy as you, and I feel like
Speaker 2: that would be a good fit.
Speaker 4: It would be great I could.
Speaker 2: Also see Emily and Natalie. Like, I guess it just
Speaker 2: depends on how.
Speaker 4: They wrote the character them. Maybe the prequel, so you
Speaker 4: lot of the most the prequel could go over a
Speaker 4: few years, and then it could be all three of them.
Speaker 2: Oh, I got you know, it would be great.
Speaker 7: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I just think that is such a I
Speaker 2: think that would be so much a great idea. I
Speaker 2: think it would be really really.
Speaker 3: Interesting, especially if it's in the eighties.
Speaker 2: I love eighties, eighties anything, and it's already characters that
Speaker 2: people are obsessed with, and it's so much drama that
Speaker 2: when we started. When you start the pilot, you're walking
Speaker 2: into a ton of drama that's already pre existing. You've
Speaker 2: got this small town, this family that's these two families
Speaker 2: that are divided, and we don't really know much about
Speaker 2: the history of these characters except the flashbacks.
Speaker 4: Even if they're different actors, everyone's already in love with
Speaker 4: the character.
Speaker 2: That's what I mean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, it's because they ultimately know what's going to be.
Speaker 2: Yes, do just build a show. I'm telling you, let's
Speaker 2: go after drinks.
Speaker 3: Well from the.
Speaker 4: Podcast, she was on the show because she was in
Speaker 4: my stomach like and so be so cool for her
Speaker 4: to do.
Speaker 2: Okay, fine, fine, fine.
Speaker 3: I have a question at these conventions, when people come
Speaker 3: up to you, when fans come up to you, is
Speaker 3: there a scene or a quote that you hear the most.
Speaker 4: Yes, life Wait, I have to get it right now.
Speaker 4: Life sucks. Give me a drink. Life sucks. I want
Speaker 4: to drink. I think that's what it was. Life sucks.
Speaker 4: I need a drink. Yeah, over and over and over again,
Speaker 4: and people want me to write it like optimistic.
Speaker 3: Life sucks.
Speaker 4: I need to drink. Barbara Allen Woods.
Speaker 3: We just interviewed Barry Corbin and he had a fan
Speaker 3: and get the quote of his tattoo, but it was
Speaker 3: like a beautiful saying and I just wanted to drink. Wow,
Speaker 3: mama needs a buzz mom of the year stuff right there.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you, I don't know any other. I don't
Speaker 4: think she ever said anything very like.
Speaker 3: I don't know do you have a favorite uh oh,
Speaker 3: a deb quote? No scene? Do you think of fond
Speaker 3: just you remember shooting?
Speaker 4: I mean I loved all the stuff that Paul and
Speaker 4: I had to do together, like just playing tricks on
Speaker 4: each other and all the the War of the Roses. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean that was my favorite. I also had a
Speaker 4: great scene with Moira that was fun. I like comedy,
Speaker 4: and so to be like the comedic in such a
Speaker 4: serious show where it's a lot of you know, talking
Speaker 4: heads and crying and all that, I think it's the
Speaker 4: most fun. And I'm not necessarily into being on a sitcom,
Speaker 4: but I love being like the comedy in a drama.
Speaker 2: How did the Goldbergs go for you? I haven't seen
Speaker 2: your episodes yet. Oh, it was so much fun. And
Speaker 2: this broad comedy that's not front of his studio audience, right,
Speaker 2: that's like a single camera. It was single camera. Yeah, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: have you done well? I know you did Seinfeld because
Speaker 2: I watched Seinfeld and I'm like, who Barbara Barbara?
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Know that was what episode? Would you do?
Speaker 4: I played, oh, someone going out with Jason Alexander, a
Speaker 4: date of Jason Alexander. I actually, you want to hear some.
Speaker 3: Dirt all of it. Yes, I used to date.
Speaker 4: Someone from that show you did, David.
Speaker 2: I wish Michael Richard's Jerry Jerry. Oh my gosh, what
Speaker 2: I'm weirdly attracted to you right now? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 4: Small World. Yes, at a comedy club, and it was
Speaker 4: before he was Seinfeld. But he did stand up and
Speaker 4: even watch the pilot together when he had done the pilot, Like,
Speaker 4: you want to watch the show? I just did a
Speaker 4: pilot O yah. Sure, And I think it wasn't picked
Speaker 4: up to begin with. I remember not being picked up,
Speaker 4: and then.
Speaker 3: I got a partial pickup of like five or six episodes, okay,
Speaker 3: and they were very very much on shaky ground. It
Speaker 3: was a very different show that first. I think it's
Speaker 3: like a six episode season. That's how uncertain the network
Speaker 3: was about the show.
Speaker 4: Wow, it goes to show how much network people don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh my ysh, Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3: Was Jerry a fun hanging? Was he funny in person?
Speaker 4: He's very serious about being funny. I think a lot
Speaker 4: of comedians are that way, so serious. People like not
Speaker 4: what you would expect.
Speaker 2: It's super sharp and intelligent, so smart, so so so smart.
Speaker 4: And so nice to fans. I mean we ended up
Speaker 4: being friends and then I ended up doing the show
Speaker 4: after we dated. Oh funny, that's great. Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2: So you did sitcoms? You've done sitcoms in your life
Speaker 2: with a live audience yeah, have you done a lot
Speaker 2: of theater?
Speaker 4: Yep? When did you do theater in Chicago before I
Speaker 4: moved out to LA And I did something in La too,
Speaker 4: But it's not like it's not the scene in La.
Speaker 4: Yeah it's not, but I did. That's how I started
Speaker 4: doing theater. And I majored in theater in college and
Speaker 4: then just a bunch of theater played Cinderella Joy. Did
Speaker 4: you Hammerstein?
Speaker 2: No? I was gonna say, wait, do you sing?
Speaker 4: And I didn't know this.
Speaker 2: I do you sing?
Speaker 3: Do?
Speaker 4: But not like you Well, I'm just wondering, like what
Speaker 4: do you no?
Speaker 2: No? No?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: And we talked Broadway on set. Okay, maybe we did,
Speaker 4: but I just loved, like, you know, I'm kind of
Speaker 4: a nerd that way. And I remember being on the
Speaker 4: carpet for during One Tree Hill for certain events, and
Speaker 4: because One Tree Hill was so music heavy, they would
Speaker 4: always say, you know, who was your favorite artist? What
Speaker 4: is your favorite song? And for me, it's just Broadway.
Speaker 4: And I always felt kind of nerdy saying that, like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, a chorus line is my favorit? Like
Speaker 4: is that current? I don't know. Do you see a
Speaker 4: lot of new shows? It's it's my favorite thing in
Speaker 4: the world.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, wait, what have you seen? Oh lately?
Speaker 4: Nothing in nothing recently? Oh really nothing recently, Like.
Speaker 2: You don't go to the pantagous and go.
Speaker 4: But I did see Cinderella on Broadway and that was special. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean whenever I was going more often when I
Speaker 4: was in North Carolina because New York is so close.
Speaker 2: So I wish i'd done that. I wish I had
Speaker 2: just like hopped out. Hillary did that all the time,
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just the week's so fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, no often, yeah, yeah, hour.
Speaker 3: And a half light guys, I know, it's really did
Speaker 3: you do it never?
Speaker 6: I just have listen.
Speaker 3: There's one thing I know. It is flight time between
Speaker 3: major cities. Okay, it's an hour and a half hour
Speaker 3: twenty five yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So you're in like such a new interesting phase in life,
Speaker 2: as you were talking about at the very beginning of this,
Speaker 2: and it's just so it's so lovely as your friend
Speaker 2: to see you beaming and happy. I mean, you've always
Speaker 2: had a lightness about you, but it feels like there's
Speaker 2: an authenticity like you're not you know, you don't have
Speaker 2: to compartmentalize when you're when there are things happening in
Speaker 2: your life that there's a lot of tension in the
Speaker 2: personal world. That can be so difficult, and I tend
Speaker 2: to compartmentalize anyway when things are going on like that,
Speaker 2: And it's really fun to see you in this just
Speaker 2: super authentic phase.
Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead, Well when you're you know, Mike, I've
Speaker 4: been very focused on my girls. Yeah, since One Tree Hill,
Speaker 4: that's really all I was focused on. Yeah, and they
Speaker 4: started their careers and I was insistent that nobody else
Speaker 4: would be a part of that and be on set
Speaker 4: with them, and it was just important for me to
Speaker 4: teach them etiquette and how to treat it, just everything
Speaker 4: it needed to be me that was there when you
Speaker 4: had three kids.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's it's hard, a real and a full
Speaker 2: time job, like this is a real thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a huge response ability.
Speaker 4: But now that they're older and they're you know, when
Speaker 4: they're eighteen, they can be and Alley's about to turn
Speaker 4: eighteen and so kind of like my job is done.
Speaker 4: I'm still there for them, but it's time for me it,
Speaker 4: which is scary. I'll focus on me a little bit
Speaker 4: and then seriously, when you start focusing on yourself and
Speaker 4: really do love yourself and take care of yourself, things
Speaker 4: start coming to you amazing, you know, Like I focused
Speaker 4: on them, things came to them. You know, you have
Speaker 4: to put energy in the things you're going to benefit from.
Speaker 3: Sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, I just am in a phase of
Speaker 4: me and things are coming to me. And one of
Speaker 4: those things was really nice.
Speaker 3: I just know, and I was in awe of like
Speaker 3: the height and handsomeness caught me so off guard. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: I was just I walked in there and I was like,
Speaker 3: boyfriend is so handsome and uh lovely, very warm.
Speaker 4: But let me tell you, like the nicest, warmest, most
Speaker 4: loving giving person I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3: That tracks, though, I'm happy to hear that, and it
Speaker 3: also tracks because that is very much your lane.
Speaker 2: Yeah he I I didn't know this, Like somebody told
Speaker 2: me that he actually is kind of famous, and I
Speaker 2: did not.
Speaker 4: I did not know, Like is this true? He can
Speaker 4: recognize way more than I do. Like it's because he's
Speaker 4: like his presence too, you know, it's like you can't yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean you've seen the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was on Cops for our listener. He was
Speaker 3: he was.
Speaker 4: He was an army cop. He was a cop in
Speaker 4: the army before.
Speaker 2: What what does he? What does he?
Speaker 3: You actually don't know what? Oh, you don't know.
Speaker 2: I only I only just heard, but our listeners may
Speaker 2: not know. I did just okay, okay, but I heard
Speaker 2: like an hour ago. I didn't actual his daughter.
Speaker 4: Was on the Bachelor, and she would his daughter was
Speaker 4: on the Bachelor.
Speaker 3: You didn't know, I didn't know. Okay.
Speaker 4: Her name's Kelsey. She's beautiful, she's wonderful. All of his
Speaker 4: kids are. But his daughter was on the Bachelor. And
Speaker 4: you know, at the end of The Bachelor, they go
Speaker 4: to hometown. They introduced to theirs three remaining girls, and
Speaker 4: they take the Bachelor home to meet their family. And
Speaker 4: Mark was there being all cute and dimply and sweet
Speaker 4: and like, who's that guy the producers the background, he's
Speaker 4: the dad. And I'm watching the show with my girls
Speaker 4: because we always watched the show. It's like a mindless
Speaker 4: sorry Bachelor, but it was just like a brainless, mindless
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, and I think that's probably but one of
Speaker 4: my favorite shows of all time. But you can turn
Speaker 4: your brain off pretty much, so and teaching them what
Speaker 4: not to do, and we used to count it towards
Speaker 4: school the Bachelor. I'm not getting one hour school, yep,
Speaker 4: and so kind of interested in him. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: see if he has an Instagram, what's his name, Martin.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's an.
Speaker 4: Instagram not many followers, but I'm gonna DM him. And
Speaker 4: then I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed
Speaker 4: his dimples. So then he was at the final episode
Speaker 4: of her show. He was in the audience, and I'm
Speaker 4: watching with Ali and like, oh, there's my boyfriend, the
Speaker 4: one I DM. I'm like, oh, I wonder if you
Speaker 4: ever responded. He didn't respond to me, So then they
Speaker 4: announced that he's going to be on the Golden Bachelorette
Speaker 4: as a contestant. Oh, like taking my boyfriend away from me.
Speaker 4: Then I DM him again, like I don't know what
Speaker 4: I say. It was so corny whatever I said, like
Speaker 4: you have a cute smile, You're going to go a
Speaker 4: long way in life or something stupid, and still didn't respond.
Speaker 4: But then I realized he's not responding because he's already
Speaker 4: on the show because they take their phones away, Like
Speaker 4: maybe that's why he's not responding. And then he got
Speaker 4: kicked off and I'm watching every week to see if
Speaker 4: my boyfriend's gonna get kicked off the show. I've never
Speaker 4: really spoken, watching feeling like we know him but we don't,
Speaker 4: and like, oh he's still on. Oh, she really likes him.
Speaker 4: Like and then he got kicked off. And by the
Speaker 4: time he got kicked off, he had already responded to me.
Speaker 4: So we started talking through social media or whatever. And
Speaker 4: then you go the next step, texting, and then you
Speaker 4: go the next step and you talk, and we started
Speaker 4: talking and it's been NonStop.
Speaker 2: Barbarack.
Speaker 4: He's such a good guy.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I just.
Speaker 4: Have to get used to being with good people. Like
Speaker 4: he's a good guy.
Speaker 2: How do your daughters feeling?
Speaker 4: They love him? Oh, probably more even than I do.
Speaker 4: They love him and they love seeing me happy, and
Speaker 4: they love seeing me being treated correctly. And he's just
Speaker 4: so soft spoken, but when he speaks, it's just means something.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love people like that. Yeah, I want to
Speaker 2: be one of those people. I'm not there, Oh me neither,
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 4: I talk all the time.
Speaker 3: Your daughters are constantly pulling you aside, like mom, do
Speaker 3: not blow.
Speaker 4: This, do not all of us, and you're not, like
Speaker 4: it's the truth. I'll get a little unhealthy from time
Speaker 4: to time and I'll say something, but do you think
Speaker 4: he's mom? No, he's everything. Like they just would be
Speaker 4: so mad at me if I know.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The thing I've been thinking about lately is that we're
Speaker 2: professional at instant intimacy. You know how to just create
Speaker 2: instant intimacy and it's lovely and it gives us all
Speaker 2: those dopamine feelings that you want, but we're not taking
Speaker 2: the time to build the found in real life. If
Speaker 2: we do that, which we're so good at, it's so easy.
Speaker 2: So it's like, oh, here's my little thing trick I
Speaker 2: can pull out of my hat. But if you don't
Speaker 2: take the time to actually build the foundation in real life, yeah,
Speaker 2: then the instant intimacy is just cheap and it goes
Speaker 2: away cheaply. To like, it's easy to make it go away,
Speaker 2: it's easy to second guess it and all that stuff.
Speaker 2: So it's so important to take that time.
Speaker 4: It was kind of nice because our relationship started on
Speaker 4: the phone, so all we did was talk. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: so you like, if you have that, you know, connection
Speaker 4: with a guy, like sometimes you jump into things, maybe
Speaker 4: you shouldn't so quickly but we just talked. I mean,
Speaker 4: we did a lot of phone sex.
Speaker 2: But I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 4: I'm kidding now, I'm kidding, kidding, we did, but but no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I'm serious. Like you get to know something if that's
Speaker 4: all you have, Yeah, then it's not.
Speaker 2: So much about like feeding your ego. Then you know
Speaker 2: the instant gratification of like instant intimacy. Is it feels
Speaker 2: so good, but it's it Is it really about our
Speaker 2: connection or is it just about the fact that this
Speaker 2: feels good to me and it's about me.
Speaker 3: Yes, it can become a substitute for true intimacy. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a band. It can be a crutch, that's what
Speaker 3: it's give me, be a crutch as opposed to the
Speaker 3: phone when all you got is like questions and answers.
Speaker 4: And he would pause for ten seconds because that's what
Speaker 4: he does when he's talking. I've learned thinking let it be.
Speaker 4: So now what I'm going to say is like, but
Speaker 4: on the phone, it's like, what's wrong?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: What's wrong? Yeah, he's like what I'm just thinking, Like, okay,
Speaker 4: you're okay because you paused for three seconds, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 4: he's great. He's great, he cooks, he's like, he takes
Speaker 4: care of his kids, like he loves me. He came
Speaker 4: with you to this weekend?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 2: Is he actually great?
Speaker 3: With? What?
Speaker 2: Is he here? Here? Here?
Speaker 3: He's here right his literal hand?
Speaker 2: I know, but I know I met him too, But like,
Speaker 2: is he here in the hallway? Does he want to
Speaker 2: say hi?
Speaker 4: He would, yes, you would make sure that I wanted
Speaker 4: him to, Okay, And then.
Speaker 2: Does he know that you want him to? Do you
Speaker 2: want to him in?
Speaker 4: See if he's still he's like making out with some
Speaker 4: girl out there?
Speaker 2: No, do you feel insecure about that stuff? Like do
Speaker 2: you feel a little paranoid that? It's like I.
Speaker 4: Will always be insecure in relationships period. But he's so good.
Speaker 4: All I need to say is give me some reassurance.
Speaker 4: Yeah he's there. Yeah, that's great. And he just does
Speaker 4: understand why I'm insecure with him. But you know it's great.
Speaker 4: He's not he's recognized and you call him famous whatever,
Speaker 4: but from you know, if you've seen that show, you
Speaker 4: would know who he is. And he gets recognized a lot,
Speaker 4: but he's not in Hollywood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's almost like.
Speaker 4: The best of both worlds. Like he's gotten a little
Speaker 4: taste of it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she is here. Okay, we're having a
Speaker 2: total party here right now. You guys, thank you all of.
Speaker 3: Your This is drama queens after dark, It.
Speaker 2: Really and it is after dark.
Speaker 4: I there we go. Let's start storming, get deep.
Speaker 2: We should have had you in here when we were
Speaker 2: saying all the nice things about you. We were just
Speaker 2: listening to Barbara.
Speaker 4: I told him that when we met, all we have
Speaker 4: is the phone, and so we just had to do
Speaker 4: a lot of phone sex. And then I was kidding,
Speaker 4: and then I was kidding.
Speaker 3: No, that's a fun one to walk into, right Mark.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ambush, ambush. Oh. We were just talking about how
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know if you experienced this because
Speaker 2: I haven't done any reality TV, but this instant intimacy
Speaker 2: that as actors we have to, you know, jump in
Speaker 2: immediately and like you say hi and shake somebody's hand
Speaker 2: and then rip your heart open and have to be
Speaker 2: really close, and then you get into this habit that
Speaker 2: then it starts to translate into your real life with
Speaker 2: friends or relationships or whatever, and suddenly you find yourself
Speaker 2: like having tried to skip the the hard part of
Speaker 2: the building process, but actually you're cutting yourself out of
Speaker 2: something that is so foundational and important. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 2: know how. I don't know how. I have no idea
Speaker 2: how what it's like on reality TV if there's some
Speaker 2: sort of you did one season so this You're not
Speaker 2: like a reality TV veteran where you're okay, okay.
Speaker 3: But there must have there must have been a sense
Speaker 3: of pressure though for there to be like sparks and.
Speaker 2: Chemistry intimacy on a bachelor show.
Speaker 3: There's no slow burn all out on a show like that, right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, not really.
Speaker 8: I mean, because the whole idea of it, I think
Speaker 8: is to hurry up and create a connection.
Speaker 2: You know, did that feel inauthentic? Did it feel like easy?
Speaker 2: I mean, how did that feel?
Speaker 6: It was very different? I mean that's you know, I'm not.
Speaker 8: A fast kind of person normally, you know, I'm a
Speaker 8: pretty slow.
Speaker 6: Kind of slow person.
Speaker 4: A lot of pauses in between words like that.
Speaker 3: I pause a lot.
Speaker 8: Yet you know that the spinning wheel of death on
Speaker 8: a computer it says I'm thinking, and it was.
Speaker 3: It was like the best Christmas present.
Speaker 4: But the thing is he wasn't attracted to her at all,
Speaker 4: so that made it like that was hard for him
Speaker 4: because he wasn't, you know, the bachelorette. I'm just saying this.
Speaker 4: He wasn't attracted to her.
Speaker 3: At all, so shots fired.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I'm just guessing, right, he couldn't stand
Speaker 4: waiting for you're right?
Speaker 3: I mean, you're right, well done, Mark, well done a little.
Speaker 3: Was there any sort of like coaxing or like gentle
Speaker 3: encouragement from the production staff on, like, hey, if we
Speaker 3: could find a moment here, like was it? Were they
Speaker 3: ever trying to you're you in a direction? No? I
Speaker 3: think they.
Speaker 8: I mean they need things to kind of grow organically,
Speaker 8: you know, but sometimes organically isn't quick enough. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 8: you know it is. It's it has to play out.
Speaker 8: But it is a compressed schedule, you know, So I
Speaker 8: don't I don't think they steer it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got to be tough for producers because if
Speaker 2: every relationship is forced and then every one of them
Speaker 2: falls apart when the show is over, it's got to
Speaker 2: have a bad track record. So they want they've got
Speaker 2: to want to have some sort of some successful relationships
Speaker 2: come out of the show.
Speaker 3: It said, isn't the track record of those shows horrendous.
Speaker 2: Actually don't know so well oh okay.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, I mean but it's it's also.
Speaker 8: You know, I think a big part of it, like
Speaker 8: I didn't experience what the younger.
Speaker 4: The younger shows.
Speaker 8: I was lik in this Golden Bachelorette, you know, which
Speaker 8: is I was the youngest person on there.
Speaker 4: You know, Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 6: So you know everybody was.
Speaker 3: We're civilized.
Speaker 8: There was no you know, competitive I mean, there was competitiveness,
Speaker 8: but there wasn't like the drama that you saw on
Speaker 8: you know that appear on the younger shows, because it
Speaker 8: wasn't a big jealousy thing.
Speaker 6: Everyone was comfortable with themselves. You know.
Speaker 3: I recall catch actually a clip from The Golden Bachelor,
Speaker 3: and I was so shocked to see the women being
Speaker 3: kind to each other and like cheering each other up. Yeah.
Speaker 2: See, this is what happens you hit this point in
Speaker 2: your life where you're like, oh, we we're setting examples
Speaker 2: for our daughters, for young women. We want to actually
Speaker 2: to encourage each other. That's nice to know, such a
Speaker 2: nice change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's just it's hard to watch people constantly
Speaker 3: undercutting and being frum me to each other and see
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, they were like, get him, girl,
Speaker 3: getting I was.
Speaker 4: Watch great, Yeah, you would love it. You should watch.
Speaker 4: And these guys were so supportive of each other and
Speaker 4: just they were just like, I mean, they're still all
Speaker 4: in touch with each other.
Speaker 8: Yeah, by far, the best experience I've had in my life.
Speaker 8: Like in my adult life, I have never shared the emotion,
Speaker 8: felt so safe and secure in an environment to talk
Speaker 8: about emotion.
Speaker 6: Like I grew up.
Speaker 8: My adult life has been military like oriented. You know,
Speaker 8: for the military, an emotion wasn't something that was feelings
Speaker 8: and emotion wasn't wasn't talked about. Like there's a time
Speaker 8: and a place, and that wasn't the time or the place.
Speaker 2: To be in a place a camera in your face.
Speaker 8: To be in a place where you could sit down
Speaker 8: and talk with other men that were in the same
Speaker 8: boat as me, you know, got in on different docks,
Speaker 8: is what I like to say. You know, everybody got
Speaker 8: in on a different dock. They were divorced, so they'd
Speaker 8: lost their spouse to you know whatever. But they were
Speaker 8: all single, you know, when we're in the same boat.
Speaker 8: So to be able to talk with them about their
Speaker 8: experiences and you know, how.
Speaker 6: They related with their kids. How they you know, how
Speaker 6: did they date after you know, being older?
Speaker 8: You know, how does that happen? It was incredible, Like
Speaker 8: it was. It was an enriching experience for me.
Speaker 2: Wow, and something amazing came out of it. Astely got
Speaker 2: this message from Barbara and your Instagram. I love it.
Speaker 3: It's like you have don that moment. Oh I'm not
Speaker 3: getting the girl. But then you got your phone back
Speaker 3: and look who slid into.
Speaker 4: And you're like, oh, and by the way, his daughter
Speaker 4: won this. Well, I say one, that's horrible thing to say,
Speaker 4: but was the chosen one. So there so her his
Speaker 4: daughter is engaged to the bachelor of that season, so
Speaker 4: they will eventually get married.
Speaker 6: YEA.
Speaker 2: Life is so weird, I know, like could you ever
Speaker 2: have imagined? And you're never like Kelsey.
Speaker 8: Remember I remember when Kelsey left, you know, when she
Speaker 8: left home to go to filming. She was home the
Speaker 8: weekend before she left, and you know, and I was like,
Speaker 8: you know, Kelsey, you're you're.
Speaker 6: Far braver than I because she went to go do
Speaker 6: this show.
Speaker 3: God was like, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 6: It was pretty incredible.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm so happy for both of you. It's a
Speaker 3: pleasure to finally meet you, because I've been seeing the
Speaker 3: pictures on Instagram and you both look so happy and
Speaker 3: your daughters look so happy. Yeah, you deserve it, Thank you,
Speaker 3: you deserve a wow.
Speaker 2: I'm just asking in the glow. It's fabulous. I wish
Speaker 2: you all could be here to see. Thanks.
Speaker 3: Tune in on YouTube, everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, all right?
Speaker 3: How do you want to wrap it up?
Speaker 2: Joy with some tequila? Really?
Speaker 3: I have I have one more question? Rank your daughters?
Speaker 3: All right, maybe we've already done that. Yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Are, You're the best. Thank you.
Speaker 4: You guys are and I enjoy every single episode and
Speaker 4: you guys are just killing it and I'm just like, support,
Speaker 4: support support. Did you see I responded to something that
Speaker 4: you're the funniest guy in the world At some point
Speaker 4: you didn't. I don't think you responded. Guys, just guys
Speaker 4: do not respond to that.
Speaker 3: Must have been like was it a comment on an
Speaker 3: Instagram post?
Speaker 4: I think I no, I think I DMed you, but
Speaker 4: let me check.
Speaker 2: But it was.
Speaker 4: It was quite a compliment, like it was a superlative.
Speaker 4: For sure.
Speaker 3: We have this episode up because I am dying.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean, I'll find it.
Speaker 3: If you did allegedly.
Speaker 8: No, I did.
Speaker 2: I you're so like like I can let a lot
Speaker 2: of things roll off. I know I keep track of,
Speaker 2: but there are certain things security of, like oh, I
Speaker 2: message that person and they did not.
Speaker 4: Message me back.
Speaker 2: Now I'm not mad at that really, but made a
Speaker 2: decision about how I feel about it. I'm just like
Speaker 2: I get pitied in my memory. I'll not forget.
Speaker 4: I will use it at some point.
Speaker 3: Clearly you forgave and did not forget. Yes, no, I'm
Speaker 3: not saying no.
Speaker 4: I can promise you I'm going to find it and
Speaker 4: I'll show you.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you.
Speaker 4: And I think I even said, oh my god, he's
Speaker 4: so funny, look at this. And I think I showed
Speaker 4: you and I said, I'm going to dmm, and I did.
Speaker 2: Are you a little nerrodivergent too? I don't know the
Speaker 2: fact that you, like you can keep track of all
Speaker 2: we need to Joy, I know we're long overdue. We
Speaker 2: just need we need time.
Speaker 3: I loved anything. Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 3: So she's a wonderful mother, a talented actress. And thanks
Speaker 3: for joining us with Barbarro.
Speaker 1: Allenwoods, Burldwoods, everybody.
Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 3: Don't forget to leave us a review.
Speaker 2: You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens
Speaker 2: O t H.
Speaker 4: Or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 4: See you next time we.
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