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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one oh six that

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Speaker 1: is first airing August thirteenth, twenty nineteen. Today we're going

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Speaker 1: to be talking with our guest, Helen Dahan, who is

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Speaker 1: an executive coach, a mother of three, including eighteen month

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Speaker 1: old twins, and one of the reasons we were drawn

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Speaker 1: to her story is that she was quite nervous about

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Speaker 1: having twins as a business owner, that she worried her

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Speaker 1: her business would disappear, but it turned out it is

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Speaker 1: possible to lean in with infant twins and she had

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Speaker 1: her best year ever the year that her twins were born.

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Speaker 1: So excited for that story coming up, but in the meantime, Sarah.

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Speaker 1: As we're recording this in late July, Sarah's dealing with

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Speaker 1: a bit of a childcare issue that has been slightly

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Speaker 1: stressing you out. I think it would be more stressful

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Speaker 1: if I had infant twins. That's true, that's true. That

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Speaker 1: would make it worse. Just the phrase infant twins gives

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Speaker 1: me a little so yeah, but no, it's still been stressful.

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Speaker 1: So our nanny, who we love and who you know,

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Speaker 1: generally covers almost all of my working hours. And we've

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Speaker 1: spoken before about how it is good to diversify and

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Speaker 1: have other people. But one thing that happens when you

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Speaker 1: do have a very dedicated and reliable employee is that

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Speaker 1: you sort of get used to it at a certain point,

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Speaker 1: and things happen. Even the very most steadfast and reliable

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Speaker 1: person is going to have true family emergencies come up.

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Speaker 1: And one has come up for hours. So I'm completely

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Speaker 1: understanding of that, but it's still hard on my end

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Speaker 1: because I generally have her do all the drop up

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Speaker 1: and pick up. She's really the one who's been with

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Speaker 1: Genevieve the whole time, and Genevieve hasn't experienced a group

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Speaker 1: care setting so kind of scrambling to put her in

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Speaker 1: something like that has been something that I just am

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Speaker 1: not sure is worth it at this juncture. We don't

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Speaker 1: have a ton of alternative babysitters. We do have some.

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Speaker 1: We've been lucky enough to find a really nice neighborhood

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Speaker 1: babysitter that has had surprisingly some weekday availability at very

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Speaker 1: short notice, So that's been awesome, But mostly it's been

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Speaker 1: a lot of a scramble, and I will admit that

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Speaker 1: there is It made me realize how much her role

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Speaker 1: makes me able to completely focus at work and not

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Speaker 1: think or worry about the kids during the day, because

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, without her, I was finding myself

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Speaker 1: having a lot of difficulty focusing. And it's not like,

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Speaker 1: you know, from an objective standpoint, we've hir I hired

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Speaker 1: a babysitter from like an agency, and I'm sure she's fine,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know her and Genevieve can't talk yet,

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Speaker 1: and I just wasn't I don't know, just didn't feel

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Speaker 1: at peace. So we're still dealing with it, and the

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Speaker 1: emergency is not over, and it's sort of unpredictable and

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Speaker 1: it's also completely understandable, so it's there's no feelings of like,

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Speaker 1: you know, she doesn't does it, like she needs this

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Speaker 1: time and I respect that, but man, it's it's hard.

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Speaker 1: So you're doing so you put your kids in like

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Speaker 1: before care and after care at camp. The big kids

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Speaker 1: I put in before care and after care, and then

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Speaker 1: for Genevieve, I've hired an outside babysitter to come although,

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Speaker 1: because again of the unpredictability, our nanny's been able to

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Speaker 1: come back for a couple of days, but I know

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Speaker 1: that at any moment she may have to to go

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Speaker 1: again and I don't totally have a plan in place

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Speaker 1: for that yet, although there is a backup nanny we

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Speaker 1: views once before that maybe available next week, so depending

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Speaker 1: on how things go timing wise, that might be the answer.

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Speaker 1: But just all of it's been stressful, and I think

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Speaker 1: I spoke on a previous episode how I was so

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Speaker 1: excited for all these summer events coming up, and Josh

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Speaker 1: and I had a couple's weekend that we really felt

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Speaker 1: like we needed, especially because you guys probably remember that

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Speaker 1: recently I talked about our family vacation and how that

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Speaker 1: wasn't exactly my favorite family vacation, the world's most relaxing.

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Speaker 1: I think we spent vacation exactly, and I think we

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Speaker 1: spent the second half of it just thinking, well, at

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Speaker 1: least we get to go to Colorado in two weeks

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Speaker 1: and relax together and sleep in. And we've had to

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Speaker 1: cancel that trip because you don't have coverage. We don't

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Speaker 1: have coverage. Some people have asked, you know, if family

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Speaker 1: could do it. We certainly have wonderful family that if

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Speaker 1: we were in an emergency situation and had no other options,

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Speaker 1: would help. But it's not easy for either set of family.

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Speaker 1: So we don't feel like this is the right time

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Speaker 1: to ad because, as you know, excited we were about

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Speaker 1: the weekend, it's not any kind of emergency and we

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Speaker 1: will take a weekend later in the year. And our

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Speaker 1: nanny has already told us no problem, like, of course,

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Speaker 1: just pick another weekend. So it's going to be fine.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna lie. It's it's been a stressful

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks, but you know, it's been much worse

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Speaker 1: for her, so yeah, of course, of course, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know. I mean that is the thing of having

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Speaker 1: extremely reliable childcare is when it's when it's suddenly not

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Speaker 1: you know, for understandable reasons. It's difficult because you don't

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Speaker 1: have the backup in place whereas you know, years ago,

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Speaker 1: like when when Jasper was in daycare, which of course

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Speaker 1: he wound up missing like I swear like every other

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Speaker 1: day for something. You know, I had tons of back up.

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Speaker 1: We had like five different sitters with schedule availability that

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Speaker 1: could cover any sort of hour because of that, and

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Speaker 1: we don't have any of that now. But we actually

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Speaker 1: have an interesting new backup that my parents just moved

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Speaker 1: from Indiana out to New Jersey, and uh this we've

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Speaker 1: never had this sort of you know, close living grandparents before.

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Speaker 1: There they are about an hour away, so they're not

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Speaker 1: right next door. I think they probably didn't want to

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Speaker 1: live right next door, but there was a you know,

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Speaker 1: it's they're not going to do like day to day stuff,

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Speaker 1: but certainly for they can now come for kid performances

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Speaker 1: for instance, or for you know, a special sports thing

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Speaker 1: or something. And so if we have a situation where

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Speaker 1: we didn't have coverage and say I, you know, one

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Speaker 1: of us needed to travel and the other needed to

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Speaker 1: be somewhere else, like, we could probably call them to

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Speaker 1: to cover that. So that's kind of you know, yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely a nice thing to have because even if

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Speaker 1: you almost never use it, there's a peace of mind

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Speaker 1: in knowing that it's there, which is really nice. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think it's that peace of mind you were talking

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Speaker 1: about of having, you know, really reliable coverage that you

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Speaker 1: plan a plan you just use stop thinking about it,

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Speaker 1: because it's like, well, of course I can do this,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I don't even you know, think about

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Speaker 1: like a which which you know is something as we

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Speaker 1: talk about with our guests. You know, you're building a business,

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Speaker 1: like you need to make sure you have that. And

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Speaker 1: one of the things that she talks about is having

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Speaker 1: full time childcare in place. Even as she stepped away

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Speaker 1: from her her sort of big quote unquote job to

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Speaker 1: start her own business. You know, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: probably been like, oh, well, I don't need as many

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Speaker 1: hours of childcare, I don't need as much coverage. I'm

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Speaker 1: not bringing any money yet while I'm launching this business,

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Speaker 1: like we shouldn't be paying for this. She's like, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: Like if I don't pay for it, we won't be

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Speaker 1: able to start the business. And I think, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: just it was an investment and it paid off. As

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Speaker 1: we'll hear in the rest of the segment. You know,

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Speaker 1: I also will say that as kids get older, I

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Speaker 1: think this becomes less of an issue. And I don't

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Speaker 1: mean older, like, you know, Jasper's twelve, he could probably

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Speaker 1: just be at home for a biself for a while,

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Speaker 1: but even you know Cameron and Nanabel. There's so many

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Speaker 1: different aftercare options around here, and I'm sure in a

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Speaker 1: lot of other areas, so it is kind of comforting

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Speaker 1: to think this is a somewhat temporary problem. Like I

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Speaker 1: feel like if this same thing were to happen three

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Speaker 1: years from now, or even a couple of years from now,

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, Okay, that's fine. It's just with Genevieve

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Speaker 1: still being a toddler and having she hasn't even started

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Speaker 1: school yet, so I just if I plunk her in

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Speaker 1: a daycare where she doesn't know, she may or may

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Speaker 1: not have a good experience, and then I just feel

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Speaker 1: like that could color her whole experience of starting. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I'm probably making it much more complication. Should

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Speaker 1: probably be okay, but it's but no, I see what

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Speaker 1: you're saying is And plus it's also the question of

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Speaker 1: calling on people because I think we've also discussed that,

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Speaker 1: like if you were asking, you know, a friend or

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Speaker 1: whatever to take Annabelle and Cameron for the week Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they do it. It's to my parents really like that

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Speaker 1: or you know, you're in laws or something, but it's

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Speaker 1: it's it's taking the toddler for the weekend. That's the

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Speaker 1: real ask. And so that is is less that somebody's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, like one of Annabell's friends could just take

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Speaker 1: them for the weekend or something like you know, it's

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Speaker 1: hundred percent. Yeah, so the little kids, that is a

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Speaker 1: complication that you know, it's temporary temper. They do grow up,

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Speaker 1: they do grow up. But yeah, no, we uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's gotten different for us too as the kids have

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Speaker 1: gotten older. I mean partly even Alex. Now I can

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Speaker 1: put him in front of the computer and have a

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Speaker 1: reasonable idea that he won't stop, like, he won't stop

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Speaker 1: doing that. I mean he might, but I could take

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Speaker 1: a phone call, for instance, whereas you know for years

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Speaker 1: that was that was not an option at all. So

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Speaker 1: you know, good, it's good. Yeah, all right, well let's

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Speaker 1: go ahead and head on over to our interview with

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Speaker 1: Helen Well. Sarah and I are pleased to welcome Helen

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Speaker 1: Dayan to the podcast. Helen, could you go ahead and

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Speaker 1: introduce yourself to our listeners? Sure? Hello everyone. So I'm

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Speaker 1: an executive coach. I'm also probably more importantly a mom

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Speaker 1: to three kids. I have six and a half year

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Speaker 1: old boy and I have boy girl twins that are

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Speaker 1: one and a half. And executive coaching is my second career.

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Speaker 1: I made a big transition about five and a half

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Speaker 1: years ago from financial services into starting my own company,

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Speaker 1: and now I run an executive coaching practice. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: what was that transition? Like, you're doing real, sort of

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Speaker 1: intense finance stuff and looking for a change. I think

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Speaker 1: I started looking for a change very early on in

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Speaker 1: my career in general. I went straight out of school

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Speaker 1: to Wall Street and it was very intense, very competitive,

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Speaker 1: and I actually really loved that I thrive in challenging situations,

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Speaker 1: which is probably why I was gifted with twins. But

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Speaker 1: I could tell right away that ten years from now

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to be sitting in that seat, So

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Speaker 1: I was kind of always exploring. And then I had

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Speaker 1: a hedge fund client of mine reach out to me

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Speaker 1: and just share role in finance was a sales role,

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Speaker 1: and I was on the phone with my clients all

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Speaker 1: the time, trying to sell them something, but also hearing

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Speaker 1: about their lives and their careers and their challenges. And

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Speaker 1: I realized that that, first of all, that was a passion,

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Speaker 1: and that was something that a lot of people were saying,

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Speaker 1: you should be a coach, you should be a coach.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what is this coach thing you're talking about?

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Speaker 1: And I started to research it and I really started

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Speaker 1: to help this one hedge fun client as he was

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Speaker 1: going through some really challenging things, and I discovered that

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Speaker 1: there's this whole amazing world of executive coaching and it

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Speaker 1: could be a real career. And it was kind of

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Speaker 1: a combination of things. The timing was I was kind

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Speaker 1: of getting to a point in my career where I'd

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Speaker 1: been doing it for a long time and I could

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Speaker 1: see where things were going and how many years specifically, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I think I said that, but that's quite that's

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Speaker 1: a lot of experience. So what a great basis And

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Speaker 1: I went ten years of experience and clients and it's

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Speaker 1: hard to walk away from that, right, But it was

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Speaker 1: you know, I had already had my son, he was

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Speaker 1: about a year old, and I was seeing him about

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Speaker 1: forty minutes a day with my whole job, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel fulfilled at work. And my mom was diagnosed

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Speaker 1: with a varian cancer, which put life into perspective. And

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Speaker 1: I think all that combined made me realize that I

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Speaker 1: need to I need to do what feels fulfilling, and

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Speaker 1: I need to do it feels worthwhile. And I never

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Speaker 1: had that feeling like, oh, I want to stay home

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Speaker 1: with my son. I never wanted that, but I did

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Speaker 1: have an issue with being away from him for something

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Speaker 1: that didn't feel like me, that didn't that just felt

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Speaker 1: like a paycheck, even though it was a really nice paycheck.

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Speaker 1: There is always that, Yeah, but it wasn't enough for me,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's not enough for most people. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So you're, you know, building this coaching business, and you know,

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Speaker 1: you're sort of getting your feet under You're getting lots

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Speaker 1: of you know, clients, and then you decide to go

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Speaker 1: for baby number two? And so how did that process

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Speaker 1: shake out? So I'm going to be super transparent with

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Speaker 1: all my kids. I needed to go through fertility treatment

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Speaker 1: and to all my doctors, I said, whatever you do,

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Speaker 1: I don't want twins. I was very very clear I

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Speaker 1: think my kids are going to listen to this in

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Speaker 1: a few years and go, you didn't want us kids.

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Speaker 1: I wanted you, I wanted all of you. But in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I did not think I wanted to handle twins.

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Speaker 1: So I went through fertility treatment knowing there was a risk.

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Speaker 1: I took us quite a while, and during that time,

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Speaker 1: I'm just kind of plugging away, you know, taking care

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Speaker 1: of my son and building my business. So I just

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Speaker 1: want to clarify that there was at no point did

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Speaker 1: I take away the childcare that we had in place

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Speaker 1: for my son, even when I left Wall Street and

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Speaker 1: took a hit to our income. So I walked away

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Speaker 1: from Wall Street, started my company, and I saw keeping

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Speaker 1: our nanny as an investment to the business. I really

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Speaker 1: thought about it that way, because otherwise I would have

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Speaker 1: had so much guilt it would had just gotten in

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Speaker 1: the way. So I would walk out of that, you know.

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Speaker 1: I kind of treated it like the old world, where

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Speaker 1: I would walk out of the house and I would

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Speaker 1: work for a certain number of hours and then after

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Speaker 1: his bedtime, And the main difference was that you had

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Speaker 1: more control over what those hours was. Yes, I definitely

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Speaker 1: have more flexibility, but I At first, you know, when

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Speaker 1: your first go off on your own, you don't have

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Speaker 1: any structure, so you kind of overdo it in both directions.

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Speaker 1: And then I realized, okay, I'm just going to set

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Speaker 1: boundaries and frameworks and almost create a formula for my

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Speaker 1: life and for my day. So at first I was saying, well,

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Speaker 1: I work, so I can't take them to pre K

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Speaker 1: none of the days. And then I was like, well, why, like,

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Speaker 1: I'll take them to pre K twice a week and

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Speaker 1: get that fulfillment and then maybe work later those days

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Speaker 1: or something like that. So creating the boundaries was really

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Speaker 1: helpful to me as well. Yeah, okay, so okay, let's

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Speaker 1: get to the twin story. Say us take gets back.

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Speaker 1: So you're undergoing fertility treatments, you're building up your business,

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Speaker 1: and then what happens? And then I get the call

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Speaker 1: that the blood work came back and I'm pregnant, super excited,

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Speaker 1: and we go in for our first kind of ultra

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Speaker 1: asonogram monitoring with my husband, and the doctor's kind of

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Speaker 1: you know, in there taking a log trying to find

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Speaker 1: the heartbeat and I look at him and I say,

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Speaker 1: it's just one, right, and he says, oh, I wish

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Speaker 1: you hadn't said that, as if me saying that caused

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Speaker 1: we were already there accurate conception. Seriously, I'm like getting chills.

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Speaker 1: I can't that moment must have been unreal. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I said what, and he's like, well, here's one and

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Speaker 1: here's two. And I just remember my husband was on

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Speaker 1: one of those small stools that wheel around, and I

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Speaker 1: just remember him wheeling all the way up against the

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Speaker 1: wall and just leaning for support, and at that point

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Speaker 1: I just started laughing. But moments later, when we left

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Speaker 1: the appointment, that's when everything kicked in and there were

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Speaker 1: months of anxiety around how am I going to do

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Speaker 1: this right? So I don't know what version is more difficult.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if having twins first is more difficult

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Speaker 1: because you're learning everything you're a parent for the first time,

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Speaker 1: or my version, where you already have one and you

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Speaker 1: kind of know all the things that go into it.

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Speaker 1: And so for me, I just knew. I knew what

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Speaker 1: you needed to do to nurse a child. I knew

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Speaker 1: what you needed to do to change a diaper. I

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Speaker 1: knew what you needed to do to get around the city.

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Speaker 1: I live in New York City, So for me, I

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Speaker 1: was like, how is it possible to do that with too?

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Speaker 1: And so it was this intense feeling that I was

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Speaker 1: going to fail in every front. And I was really

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Speaker 1: worried about my business because I had spent five years

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Speaker 1: building it up and I really really wanted it to

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Speaker 1: continue and you to thrive and succeed because I was

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Speaker 1: kind of in a really nice momentum and I was

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Speaker 1: convinced that the year they were born the business would

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Speaker 1: fall apart. Well, we're going to take a quick break

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Speaker 1: so that in a moment we can hear the rest

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Speaker 1: of that story and we'll be right back. Listeners were

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Speaker 1: happy to bring back one of our favorite clothing sponsors,

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Speaker 1: at a crowded department store. I know Laura has been

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Speaker 1: bunch of dresses and she just recently sent me a

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Speaker 1: picture of a new outfit that she got from them.

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Speaker 1: That's super cute, Laura, have you ever tried one of

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Speaker 1: their Bento boxes. I'm also intrigued by that as well.

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Speaker 1: I have, so a couple of my pieces came through

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Speaker 1: some Bento boxes, which you can do. They put together

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Speaker 1: various styling questions and your sizes, and that's tons of

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Speaker 1: I'm in the market for a pair of black pants,

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Speaker 1: or I'm in the market for a really cute jacket

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Speaker 1: or sweater or pencil skirt and all these workhorse staples.

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Speaker 1: You know, as a woman going into the office, there's

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Speaker 1: a pair of straight leg black pants, like probably wear

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Speaker 1: time becoming five more hours. I know that has occasionally

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Speaker 1: happened in my house. Circle helps you set limits and

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Speaker 1: in the screen time debate with your kids once and

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Speaker 1: for all. I mean kids these days face a million

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Speaker 1: online distractions Fortnite, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, the list goes on,

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Speaker 1: and Circle makes it easy for you to set guidelines

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Speaker 1: on what your kids can do and set limits if

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Speaker 1: and you know each family member has their own profile,

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Speaker 1: so you can watch your stuff too, which of course

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Speaker 1: we're back. I am reminding you that we were about

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Speaker 1: to hear what was about to happen with your business,

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Speaker 1: Helen after the twins. Yeah, so I assumed that everything

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Speaker 1: was going to fall apart, but it actually turned out

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Speaker 1: very differently. So the kids were born about four weeks

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Speaker 1: earlier than they were expected, So that was obviously a

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Speaker 1: challenge in itself. And I knew because because I had

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Speaker 1: a child before, because some of the women I've worked

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Speaker 1: with working moms, I've learned a lot from as well

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Speaker 1: that I needed to make sure that I was creating

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Speaker 1: a really large support network around myself, especially with twins.

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Speaker 1: So we really put a lot in place. We had

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Speaker 1: family help, even though we had a nanny for our

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Speaker 1: older one, we had family help. We had help in

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Speaker 1: the evenings because both my husband and I were working.

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Speaker 1: One of the things I did that I probably wouldn't

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Speaker 1: recommend is I went back to work at eight weeks.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't full time, right, it was like a part

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Speaker 1: time on my own terms, but it did go back

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Speaker 1: to certain engagement, certain assignments that I was working on

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Speaker 1: at the eight weeks mark. Go ahead, Yeah, no, I

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Speaker 1: was going to ask you about how you even plan

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Speaker 1: out the maternity leave, because when you work for yourself,

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Speaker 1: and I can say this from having tried to do

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Speaker 1: it four times, it's difficult to take any sort of

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Speaker 1: maternity leave because the business is you. Like, there's not

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Speaker 1: somebody else writing La Vanderkam's stuff when Laura Vandercam isn't available,

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Speaker 1: and same with you. Your business is Helen coaching her clients.

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Speaker 1: And so if Helen is not available, there is no business.

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Speaker 1: So how how did you manage that with your clients

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Speaker 1: and their expectations and planning for that ahead of time. Sure,

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Speaker 1: so I hired somebody to help me operationally get cleaned up.

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Speaker 1: That was one of the first things I did months

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Speaker 1: before I was due. And do you mean like some

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Speaker 1: kind of a like an executive assistant type of questa. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was like an operations project manager. He helped me

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Speaker 1: with some of the technology to put things in place

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Speaker 1: that could kind of operate on their own, so certain

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Speaker 1: emails could be automatically responded to. I don't mean like

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Speaker 1: an out of office but some of the other things

430
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: that were going through my website. Also, I made sure

431
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: that I kind of timed a lot of the engagements

432
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 1: I was working on so that they would kind of

433
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: dwindle or weren't in the heat of the work. So

434
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: in executive coaching, there are moments in an engagement, and

435
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: engagement is usually three to six months long. There are

436
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 1: moments in an engagement that they are kind of more intense,

437
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: where you're doing assessments with a person, you're developing their goals,

438
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 1: you're really kicking things into gear to start to make

439
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: changes for that executive I made sure that none of

440
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: my engagements were at that stage, so I front loaded

441
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: a lot of that work and I try to be

442
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: I was very hard, but I kind of had to

443
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: say no or not invite certain engagements that I knew

444
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 1: we're gonna, you know, peek at in January, which was

445
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 1: when I when I had the twins. So timing, planning,

446
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: the timing, saying no, I guess was a part which

447
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: was very hard for me. But I also with some

448
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: people I shared with them my concerns. There was a

449
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: woman who was the head of leadership and development at

450
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: a large bank who was a client of mine, and

451
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: I said to her, I said, I'm really worried that

452
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: because I'm having kids, because I'm expecting, because I'm expecting twins,

453
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: that people are going to write me off and not

454
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 1: call me for executive coaching engagements because they're going to

455
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 1: assume that I'm not going to be able to handle

456
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: an engagement like that when I'm dealing with three kids.

457
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: So that was a real vulnerability moment for me because

458
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: with some people, I didn't even tell them that I

459
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: was expecting because they didn't see me all the time.

460
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: A lot of our conversations were over the phone, over

461
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: email in the people that we were talking about engagements,

462
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: not the clients. The clients I see in person, so

463
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 1: those always see me, but like the HR contacts, and

464
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: I just wasn't. I didn't if we didn't have an engagement,

465
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: I felt like, I don't want them to have an assumption.

466
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: So that was an internal thing that I really had

467
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 1: to deal with. And then I realized, well, this isn't

468
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: going to serve me, and I decided to be vulnerable.

469
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 1: And I read the book Daring Greatly by Brain Brown,

470
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: which is really powerful and really moved me. And I

471
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 1: realized that being vulnerable I can use as a is

472
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 1: almost like a power move for my business. That was

473
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: how I prepared be authentic about it. But then as

474
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 1: you're scaling back up, you said yes to a lot

475
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: of things. I think you and I talked earlier about

476
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: how you basically said yes to pretty much everything in

477
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: order to assure people that you know you are still

478
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: in the game, like yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so

479
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: then I did the opposite, right Like in preparation, I

480
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 1: was starting to kind of shift down, and then when

481
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 1: I came back, I started saying yes to things really early.

482
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: So that particular woman that I mentioned where I shared

483
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 1: my vulnerability with her at a month after having I

484
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: think it was a month and a half after I

485
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: had the twins, she reached out to me saying, I

486
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: realized it's early, but I've got two engagements that I

487
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: think you're perfect for. Would you be willing to come

488
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: in and have a meeting? And I said yes, And

489
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: I did not feel ready to say yes. I was,

490
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: you know, like this is super transparent and maybe gross

491
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 1: to people, but I was like topless all day long

492
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: nursing twins. Like literally, you can't even put don't bother

493
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 1: putting your shirt on when you're nursing twins, Like it's

494
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: just a whole point. So and I'm getting this email

495
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: like while the kids are on me, and I'm like, yeah,

496
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to go find something that fits

497
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: and doesn't is leakproof, but yes, I'll come in, you know.

498
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: So I said yes to everything, and it was physically

499
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: very hard, but because I had such a strong support

500
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 1: network and my my kids knew the people that were

501
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 1: taking care of them, that was really helpful to me mentally. Yeah,

502
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: and the good news with you know, meeting about initial

503
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: stuff for engagements is there tends to be some sort

504
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 1: of lag between like getting the you know, putting in

505
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: the proposal and it's starting. So it's like if you

506
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: hadn't done the early meetings, you wouldn't have been able

507
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: to start up, you know, a couple months later. I

508
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: mean that's the exactly all right, yeah, exactly. So that

509
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: was that was something that I really knew that if

510
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: I show up to this meeting, I wasn't going to

511
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: have the engagement the next week. So I trusted, I

512
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 1: trusted the process that there was going to be a

513
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 1: lag and I was just going to have to And

514
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 1: that's my style in general, like I say yes to

515
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 1: things not always feeling prepared, and that's always worked for me.

516
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: And I think I'm very honest, so like, oh, I'll

517
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: have to develop this, I'll have to think through this,

518
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 1: but I jump into things. I don't think I could

519
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: have started my business having no L and D experience,

520
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 1: having no coaching experience if I didn't do that. Yeah,

521
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: So why don't we talk Why don't we pivot from

522
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: this to some of the exercises that you do with

523
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: your clients, Because of course, one of the reasons that

524
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: we wanted to have you on is we've got a

525
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: lot of you know, executive material listeners who are trying

526
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: to figure out how to put their best foot forward.

527
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: To share there are gifts with the world to be

528
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: you know, confident leaders, and you've got some great exercises

529
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 1: that you do, So why don't you talk us through

530
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: some of your favorites. Sure. So, one of the topics

531
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: that comes up very often in my coaching work. Some

532
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 1: of the things that people want to work on is

533
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: being more influenceuential and having more of a voice in

534
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: their organization, in their business with their clients. So with that,

535
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 1: I developed a model called the Mola model. It's a

536
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 1: three step model MOA and I'll go through it, but

537
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: before I actually go through it, I want to use

538
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: it with an example of a client I worked with.

539
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: So this was a woman who had fifteen years of

540
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: work experience. She worked in a very large global pharmaceutical company,

541
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 1: was at a relatively senior leadership role and she went

542
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 1: kind of for the next leadership step. So she was

543
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: applying to become the US head of her department and

544
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: she was passed over. So she was not chosen for

545
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: the role and a gentleman that used to work for

546
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: her was chosen for the role, which was rushing to

547
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: her as you can imagine. And the organization brought me

548
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: in and it took me a bit of time to

549
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: figure out why are they bringing me in? And then

550
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: I realized that they really value her. They think that

551
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: she's a massive asset to the organization. But she's not

552
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: ready for these leadership roles because she is a head

553
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: down type of individual. So she is brilliant, she's the

554
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: statistical genius, but she is now trying to step into

555
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: these leadership roles and doesn't have that influence muscle, doesn't

556
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: have that visibility muscle where she can navigate across countries,

557
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: where she can navigate across multiple cultures and work well

558
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: with those people. So that's what I was brought in

559
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: to do. As part of my executive coaching engagements, I

560
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: always do a three point sixty where I interview about

561
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: ten people that this person works with, and so I

562
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: had a lot of learnings and so this is where

563
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: the MOA comes in, which is the model that we

564
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: used with her. So the MOA has three steps. The

565
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: first step is m which is my objective. So Let's

566
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: pretend you're going in and you want to have a

567
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 1: powerful conversation with somebody. Maybe you're anticipating it's going to

568
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: be a difficult conversation, or maybe you're anticipating you're going

569
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: to have to convince them of something they're not on

570
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: board with. So the first thing you need to consider

571
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: when you prepare for this conversation is what do you want,

572
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: what's your objective, what are your goals? And also what's

573
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: going on with you? Kind of that self awareness piece.

574
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: Are you nervous? Are you anxious? Are you somebody that

575
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: when you're nervous and anxious talk too much or talk

576
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: too little? Whatever it is. So kind of have that

577
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: whole understanding of what do I want, what's my objective,

578
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: and what's going on with me? That's step one. The

579
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: second step is super important. It is the other person.

580
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: So the O stands for other person's perspective. Okay, so

581
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: that is what's going on with them? What are is

582
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: their objective, what do they care about? What are their motivations?

583
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: And oftentimes when I walk people through this extra size

584
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: when we get to oh, they are thinking small, They're

585
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: thinking in the scope of that particular conversation. So I'll say, oh, okay,

586
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: you want to I don't know. You want to have

587
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: five additional resources for your team, five additional people. And

588
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: you are trying to convince the global head of the organization,

589
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: and that person's going to think about their needs within

590
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 1: the scope of that, And I go, no, stop, don't

591
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: think that, like, go big, go global. What does this

592
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: person think about at night, what keeps them up at night,

593
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: what do they think about on their most anxious moments,

594
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: what do they think about what makes them happy? Right,

595
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: So we're not tapping into what do they care about

596
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: around this one thing. We're tapping into the bigger picture.

597
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,719
Speaker 1: And that's when people go oh and usually I'll hear

598
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: one of two things. Sometimes people say I don't know

599
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: this person well enough to know what they care about

600
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: just common right, we don't always have those close relationships

601
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: with people, And that's when we start to tap, well,

602
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: if you were in that seat, what would you care

603
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: about if that was you? And so that really helps

604
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: people have a sense. And then the third step is

605
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: a which is aligned. So that's when you're aligning your

606
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: objective from the other person's perspective. It's vital that when

607
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: you're communicating with people when you're positioning your proposal, it

608
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: is from their standpoint, yeah, because I mean, you know,

609
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 1: it can't just be like I need five more people.

610
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: It's like, well, the global head is working within the

611
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: context of everyone's payroll with like what we've got cost

612
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: cutting going on? How do I do that? You know

613
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: if I'm taking five people from someone else that they're

614
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: not happy about that, and so yeah, you have to

615
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: think about all that stuff. And I love that because

616
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: I feel like it works at that very big level

617
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 1: that you just describe, but it also could work even

618
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: within a family conversation that you're having or with one

619
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 1: of your children, like you know, you may want them

620
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: to do something, but you know, what are their goals

621
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: and can we look for that common ground and getting

622
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: into their heads? I use it. I use my husband

623
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: all It doesn't always work because he knows my tricks,

624
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: but but I do use it. And when it's done

625
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 1: genuinely and authentically, which I think is really important piece

626
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: of it. MOA, it works really well. Totally cool. Well,

627
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: I have two executive coaching quick well quick questions. Number one,

628
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 1: how does do you coach individuals? Are there? Because there

629
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: may be listeners out there that are thinking, do I

630
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: need an executive coach? So I'd love to know, you know,

631
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: how could someone know if they would benefit? And then

632
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: number two, do you have any specific I don't know,

633
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: take homes or ideas about coaching for those specifically in

634
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: the years that are in the thick of it with kids,

635
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: since that's so many of our listeners. Yeah, so I'll

636
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: answer your first question. So, executive coaching can be done

637
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: in group format, but more commonly it's done one on one.

638
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: So I work with leaders, I work with business owners.

639
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 1: I work sometimes people come to me directly, not through

640
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: their organization, although most of my work is like I mentioned,

641
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 1: I'm brought in through the organization. But sometimes people come

642
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: to me directly and say, you know, I think I

643
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: want to work on visibility, influence, presence, leadership, whatever it is,

644
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 1: and I don't need you know, I don't or I

645
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 1: can engage my company. So sometimes they come to me

646
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 1: that way as well. But yes, it's typically one on one,

647
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: and as I mentioned, these are kind of face to

648
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: face and work that we do on a regular basis.

649
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: Usually people meet with me about twice a month for

650
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 1: an hour to an hour and a half and you

651
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: said over kind of a three to six month period. Yes, yes,

652
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 1: three to six months. And the assessments are really powerful.

653
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 1: So there's different assessments we can do like a three

654
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 1: sixty where we interview others, or we could do the

655
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: likes of different personality assessment to figure out kind of

656
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: what are people's triggers, values and risks. But is it

657
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: often in a situation like you described, like somebody has

658
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 1: been passed over for promotion, or you know, an organization

659
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: would like to keep people but they have some real

660
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 1: problem that needs to get addressed, or a personal anality conflict.

661
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 1: I'm curious what usually triggers it. It's not always that.

662
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm brought in because this person is a really

663
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: high potential and they're seen as a future leader, so

664
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 1: there's not really a problem. They're very confident, but they

665
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: want to develop their leadership skills. That's sometimes an opportunity

666
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: and other times, I for example, I'm working with somebody

667
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: who has a company that was relatively small and is

668
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: now they've decided they're taking the company to grow a

669
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: lot quicker. So this is this person is one of

670
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: two partners of a boutique investment bank, and he's always

671
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 1: kind of been boots on the ground selling and taking

672
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 1: care of clients and always to manage people. And that's

673
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: just not something even though he's you know, he's in

674
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: his forties, that's not something they've ever done, right, and

675
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 1: that's not something that he's skilled in doing. So that's

676
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: where the leadership coaching comes in. I wonder well, so

677
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: our listeners love these day in the life sort of

678
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: talking through the logistics of what a day would look

679
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: like for you with again the twins in the business,

680
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: which you know, again I want to stress it. One

681
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: of the reasons I loved your story is that that

682
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 1: the year you had twins, you said was your business's

683
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: best year ever. Yeah, I can't believe I didn't say that.

684
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 1: That's that's right, that I couldn't believe it. And after

685
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 1: being in business for five years and scaling nicely, and

686
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: again remember, I was convinced when I learned the news

687
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: that I was having twins that that's it. The business

688
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: was going to be half of what it was the

689
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: year before. When I was doing my taxes and looking

690
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: at the numbers, it ended up being my biggest year.

691
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 1: But it also wasn't just a numbers. Biggest year I

692
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: was taking on engagements that I was really proud of,

693
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: So there was kind of the two proncs. So, yes,

694
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: the biggest year in business was the year I had twins.

695
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 1: And it's really meaningful. Okay, so day in the life, yeah,

696
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: the life. Okay, so not during the summer because during

697
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: the summer my life is a little different. Well we'll

698
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: get to that, Yes we will. I'm sure, Laura, you're

699
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 1: dying for me to share that. But during the school year,

700
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: my morning I kind of split my week into two

701
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: because I want to have time with the twins in

702
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: the morning, and I also want to do school drop

703
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: off with my older one because I tend to find

704
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: that that's right. Remind listeners of how old the kids are.

705
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: So the older one is six and a half, so

706
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 1: he's going into second grade. He's a young second grader.

707
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: He's going into second grade next in September. So I

708
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: kind of decided I was going to do three days

709
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: a week. I would do bus drop off where we

710
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: have to walk a little bit, so it's nice and

711
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 1: I get to see others on the bus and it's

712
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: kind of the social aspect for me. And then from there,

713
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: I'll go to either the gym because his bus is

714
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: really early, it's like seven forty five something like that,

715
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: so I'll go to the gym, which is by his bus,

716
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: and then I'll go straight to my office. So one

717
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: of the things I decided, which was purely a cost,

718
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 1: it was very little benefit to me, was to have

719
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: an office like I did. I decided not to work

720
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: from home. I think there's people that can, but remember

721
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: I'm in New York City, I'm in an apartment. I've

722
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: got twins at home. And I actually made this decision

723
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 1: before I had the twins, but I wanted to have

724
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: an office separate from my home office. So those three

725
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: days I drop them off with the bus, I go

726
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: to the gym, and then I go and I work

727
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 1: for my office, and then I make sure i'm home

728
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: for dinner by six o'clock. That's when we all have

729
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: dinner as a family. I'm fortunate that my husband also

730
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: comes home for dinner, which is really nice. And then

731
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 1: we go through the intent evening of twin bedtime, older

732
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: one bedtime, or while twins are getting put to bed, homework,

733
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: and then it's insane. You don't want to hear it.

734
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,959
Speaker 1: It's a long, much longer podcast putting them to sleep,

735
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: and then that's usually when I'm back on the computer

736
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: to deal with certain emails because my day is with

737
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: my clients. During the day, I'm running around the city

738
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: coaching people. So I'm in my office, but oftentimes I'm

739
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: also running around going to see clients. So that's my

740
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: day the three days a week, and then the other

741
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 1: two days, I stay in the morning and I hang

742
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: out with the twins for a little bit, and then

743
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: their nanny will do a bus drop up for my

744
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: son reading off. Getting from time with each I try

745
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: to because I felt that I needed to feel like

746
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 1: I was a good mom to both. And the evenings

747
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: are just They're not that because the evenings are just crazy.

748
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: Evenings are hard. Yeah, evenings are hard. But your summer setup,

749
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: which we just have to share because this sounds so awesome, Yeah,

750
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: which is it's a benefit of having some extended around. Yeah,

751
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: so I will say that. I So okay, first, let

752
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: me tell the setup. The setup is that both my

753
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: in laws and my parents have two separate small summer

754
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: houses in the mountains. So living in the city, it

755
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: gets really hot, it gets really smelly, and gross, and

756
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: it can be very expensive to send kids to camp.

757
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: So instead, what we do is we send our kids

758
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: to be with their grandparents for four weeks, so two

759
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: weeks at once one family and two weeks at the

760
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 1: other family. My husband and I work throughout the week,

761
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: so Monday through Friday we work, and Friday night we

762
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: drive out to see them. So we have Saturday and

763
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: Sunday with our kids. So we see them every week.

764
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: It's not like we don't see them for two for

765
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 1: four weeks, but during the week we have freedom, like

766
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: the freedom, freedom that we haven't had in years. So

767
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 1: we go out to dinners, we see our friends, we

768
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,879
Speaker 1: take walks after dinner, like which when you're a parent,

769
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: you know this, like you can't leave the house. Somebody's

770
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 1: kind of watch them. Yeah, it's glorious, And does your

771
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: nanny go to there, Yes, so then nanny goes that's beautiful.

772
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 1: They get this grandparent time. It's not super stressful on

773
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: the grandparents because they have extra help. You get this break.

774
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: And you were scared of sharing this, but I'm very

775
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: glad you did. And I do think that a lot

776
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: of people that say that to me, their first response

777
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: is I wouldn't trust my in laws with my kids.

778
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: Oh really, it looks like you guys are okay with it.

779
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 1: But some people will say that like, oh, I don't

780
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 1: think my in laws could do it, or I don't

781
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,240
Speaker 1: think they'd want to do it. But I have found

782
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: that it's a bit you kind of build into it, like, yes,

783
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: there's a bit of figuring it out and not being

784
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: satisfied with the way things are done at first. But

785
00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: I think if you use MOA, if you communicate often,

786
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: if you are clear about what you want, and if

787
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: you also try to understand, you know your mother in

788
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 1: law's perspective, you can figure it out. And I'm super

789
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: blessed that both sets of parents are willing and eager

790
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: to help. Well. My only suggestion is I think that

791
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 1: you guys should do a couple strip for one of

792
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: those weeks instead of just working the whole time. You're right,

793
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: maybe next summer. It's almost over. We only have over

794
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: the freedom is done. Yeah, we only have one more

795
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: week left. But well, Helen, that could be your Love

796
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 1: of the week if you want. I mean, we always

797
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: do a segment where we do Love of the Week,

798
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 1: something that's really exciting for us. Mine. Mine is a

799
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: much shorter version of kid free thing, but I have

800
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 1: been sometimes during the day I will go in the

801
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: pool all by myself, like the fun little lunchtime break

802
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: and then to go swim without anybody needing to be

803
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: watched or spring me with a super soaker or otherwise

804
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 1: messing with the relaxation that could happen in a pool.

805
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: So that is my love of the week. Sarah, how

806
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: about you? Well, my love of the week, I'm going

807
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 1: to be talking a little bit about a challenge I'm

808
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: going through recently, Well not me, but anyway, our nanny.

809
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: It's definitely my love of the week because she is

810
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: so reliable and so dependable, and it's been so rare

811
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: that I've had to go to alternate means that I'm spoiled.

812
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: So I just feel like she deserves a shout out.

813
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 1: She's awesome. All right, Helen, how about you or do

814
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: you want to go with the four week parent camp?

815
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: That is definitely one and with that all the grandparents

816
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: and nanny that are there. Yeah, I think it's I

817
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 1: think it's hard to beat four weeks of freedom throughout

818
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: the week day to be able to focus on growing

819
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: the business, seeing my friends, you know, working out every day.

820
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: It's it's really it's really powerful, wonderful, totally cool. Well, Helen,

821
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate it.

822
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. I had a blast. This

823
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: question this week comes from a listener who wants to

824
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: know about transitions. She says, I am reading, I know

825
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: how she does it, and I'm really enjoying it. So

826
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: I did mean to just do my little book plug there.

827
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: All right, I'm reading this. There was like you read it, Laura.

828
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: I love how you're positive about the flexible work schedule.

829
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: I have friends who feel blessed not to have to

830
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: bring work home with them and work after hours as

831
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: I do. But while I find my schedule exhausting, sometimes

832
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: I also remind myself that from four to six pm,

833
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: I'm one of those moms blowing bubbles in the park.

834
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 1: All right. Anyway, onto her question, how do you handle transitions?

835
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 1: It seems like you're constantly working on a multitude of projects.

836
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: I have about seven clients, and I tend to need

837
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: to do work for four to seven clients, and in

838
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,799
Speaker 1: a given day, I'm great at meeting deadlines and prioritizing

839
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: blocking my calendar to get the urgent items done. But

840
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: once I get pressing tasks out of the way, I

841
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: find I'm never as structured or productive as I could be.

842
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,320
Speaker 1: Do you have any tips for transitioning from client client

843
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 1: project to project within a short amount of time. Our

844
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: listener adds that most of the clients pay her hourly,

845
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: and making the most of her time literally means more money.

846
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 1: This is such a well time question because well, I

847
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: wrote my answers and I'm going to read those. But

848
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: actually this was like my day yesterday because I had

849
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 1: it was a GM day, and I had a big

850
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,800
Speaker 1: thing do There's this like annual program evaluation form that

851
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: we have to fill out which has like you know,

852
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: it's fifteen pages of data about your residence and what's

853
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 1: going on. And I was totally stressed about it because

854
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 1: it's my first one to do, and so that was

855
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: like my main thing. And I was so efficient and

856
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: got to work and I just like attacked that thing

857
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: and I finished it at around ten fifty three am

858
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:43,320
Speaker 1: and was like, well, okay, now what I'm done. The

859
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: day is over. And I really did feel like, you

860
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,919
Speaker 1: know what, my capacity for doing super high energy, high

861
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: impact work was spent because it was like a very

862
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: intense two and a half hours, But that didn't mean

863
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 1: that I had to throw the rest of the day

864
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 1: away because I had the hours left that I needed

865
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: to catch up on other things. So I think this

866
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: is kind of what our listener is getting at, and

867
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: I'll just the way I handled it yesterday, and I

868
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: feel pretty good about this is I then made a

869
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 1: list of things that were not as taxing but that

870
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: would still move the needle forward in terms of kind

871
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: of setting me up for the next week or sort

872
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: of clearing the decks of things that had piled up

873
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 1: while I was working on that project, and then sort

874
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: of the rudimentary getting started of some new stuff but

875
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: without the intensity. And I guess what I'm getting at is,

876
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: even though I know time is money for this listener,

877
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: we do have to accept that we're probably not going

878
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 1: to be able to turn out the most hardcore, intense

879
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: work that we possibly can for the entire day. It's

880
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: just not how our brains work, is not how our

881
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: energy levels work. So I think that sometimes when you

882
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 1: do your urgent work, and you've done a lot of it,

883
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: maybe the best thing to do would be to allow

884
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: yourself to do less urgent work. So I wrote, just

885
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: you know, making sure that you are balancing your mental

886
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 1: energy in a realistic fay And I wrote in my

887
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 1: more thought through response and this is kind of what

888
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 1: I did. Are there less mentally draining but still important

889
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: tasks you can do in your more flexible time, like

890
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: things that you have to read for your field, clearing

891
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 1: out your inbox, which has to happen at some point,

892
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 1: or even planning out your next week and making sure

893
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: that when you do write your top priority list, and

894
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: that can be your urgent stuff but also your important stuff.

895
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,320
Speaker 1: So maybe setting the ground work up for a future

896
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: project so that it's not so urgent and stressful still counts,

897
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:29,879
Speaker 1: but it's sort of a different part of your brain

898
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 1: than that urgent getting stuff done piece, so that that

899
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 1: might make the list. But you write down your top

900
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: priority things and then when you've done them, you do

901
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: them and feel good about it, rather than you know,

902
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 1: doing your one urgent thing and then seeing that there's

903
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 1: three thousand other less important things and then feeling bad

904
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: about yourself that there's a whole bunch of stuff left

905
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,919
Speaker 1: on your list. So for me, that really reduces friction

906
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: and I'm able to accomplish more and feel better about myself. So, Laura,

907
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts. Well, my first thought is sort

908
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: of a long term thing is you probably don't want

909
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:04,399
Speaker 1: to be billing out you know has well, because then

910
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: there's no reward for being more efficient other than that

911
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: you can you know, take on more stuff long term,

912
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: or you can raise your rates if they're happy with you.

913
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: But I think this also has that sense of the

914
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 1: ticking clock constantly if you're if you're billing hourly, and

915
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: if you think about it, like you know, think of

916
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: yourself as like a movie star. Like a movie star

917
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 1: doesn't bill hourly, like they get paid for the project.

918
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 1: So it's it's you're being paid probably for your expertise,

919
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 1: even if what that is is an execution of a project.

920
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 1: So long term you might want to transition to more

921
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 1: of a project based fee because you love that do that.

922
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: I'm assuming she's some kind of a consultant intern. No,

923
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: but I mean, you know how long it takes you,

924
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 1: so you can have an hourly rate, but then you know,

925
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 1: it's it's less of a sense of you know, I

926
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 1: have to be doing this at X time, just just

927
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: something to put out there. But yeah, keep the to

928
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: do list shortened, man, and you'll feel on top of

929
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: the world. Because if you make it long and unreasonable,

930
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: you'll do the exact same amount as you would have

931
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: but you feel bad, and so there's no point in

932
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,240
Speaker 1: doing that. I think her question is partly about lacking

933
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 1: energy after the urgent things to tackle those sort of

934
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,800
Speaker 1: long term priorities like marketing or dreaming up new ideas

935
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: or things that she can pitch her clients, so you

936
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 1: know when you're budgeting your time. I actually suggest doing

937
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: those things first, like maybe you spend the first thirty

938
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: to forty five minutes of your workday on this long

939
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 1: term speculative stuff, or maybe it's two hours on Monday morning,

940
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 1: if that's more, if that makes more sense for your schedule,

941
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: if the rest of the week is more unpredictable, but

942
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: making sure that you have some time when you are

943
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: fresh for thinking about those long term important things you're

944
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: going to do the urgent stuff. I mean, that's what

945
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: she said. She she always does, she meets her deadline,

946
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: she does the stuff that's urgent. It's the other stuff

947
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 1: she's not getting to. And so I think by doing

948
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: those things first, she'll she'll feel like she's accomplishing them,

949
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: you know, though she'll she'll definitely still turn in stuff

950
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 1: on time. As for transitions, like when I'm working through

951
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: my to do list, you know, I put the stuff

952
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: that requires most energy in the morning when I have

953
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: the most energy, same as you. But I try to

954
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 1: think of other work as sort of breaks. So if

955
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: I need to send an email about something that's you know,

956
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: semi important, I'll do that as a break between writing projects,

957
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: or I will you know, record some podcast episodes and

958
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: then make a phone call or something. And so by

959
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:30,959
Speaker 1: doing work as breaks, you can shift back and forth

960
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 1: and think of yourself as being in a different space,

961
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 1: but you're still moving forward. Totally get that. I think

962
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 1: I did some patient notes as a break from from

963
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: the resident. It doesn't have to be a break break,

964
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: but it don't have to be fun. A gear shift

965
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,800
Speaker 1: a gear shift, and sometimes they can be fun, and

966
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: sometimes you need the actual rest. But when it comes

967
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: to just sort of changing the mental energy you're using

968
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: for different things, I get what you're saying. Yeah, well,

969
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: great tips, Yeah great, all right, Well this has been

970
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 1: best of both worlds. We've been talking with Helen dayan

971
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: about building her business with infant twins, and we'll be

972
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: back next week with more on making work and life

973
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 1: fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah

974
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox

975
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 1: on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura

976
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both

977
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,800
Speaker 1: worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on

978
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: making work and life work together.