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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or whatever you listen to your favorite shows.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to We talk Back podcast, the production of iHeart

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Speaker 1: Radio and the Black Effect Network Talk Talk Talk.

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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

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Speaker 2: Y'all really be living with these niggas and that's crazy

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Speaker 2: to me?

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Speaker 1: Bitch were starting the show? Why are you talking about me?

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Speaker 2: Anyway? What's up?

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Speaker 1: Y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode

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Speaker 1: and We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you by

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Speaker 1: just will be shocking up in the niggas that don't

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Speaker 1: is your co host? AJ Holiday two point Oh?

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Speaker 2: What's up?

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Speaker 1: Ten?

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Speaker 2: It's official team band. I love y'all once again. I

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Speaker 2: love you too. AJ. How you doing. I'm doing well?

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Speaker 1: Okay, it's sunny outside. I feel good. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm you know, lucky again this week?

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Speaker 2: How was your weekend? What'd you do? Nothing?

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Speaker 1: Bitch went a boy? A band went by the bed

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Speaker 1: because the bitch been sleeping on the mattress on the floor.

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Speaker 1: Yes it's a good one though, costs a couple of dollars,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I got me a bed coming chat.

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Speaker 2: Just growing up. That's good, growing out, y'all. I'm proud

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Speaker 2: of you, y'all. I was supposed to go to DC

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Speaker 2: this weekend for the Tequila Talk Live show, but man,

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Speaker 2: I the ms was mssing this weekend and I just

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Speaker 2: could not be bothered to get up and go nowhere.

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Speaker 2: My body just was not with it. I was so

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Speaker 2: upset because I bought tickets to the show, had my

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Speaker 2: flight books and everything, and my body that shit is

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Speaker 2: just you know, it do what it wants. So I

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Speaker 2: didn't get to go. But shout out to Tequila Talk.

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Speaker 2: He had a live show. It was on the sixteenth.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure it was lit, and I will not miss

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Speaker 2: the next one. And I know I said that last time,

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Speaker 2: but I really did all the things to be there.

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't make it happen. So I just stayed

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Speaker 2: at home, and uh, I watched this movie Damsel on Netflix.

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Speaker 3: Y'all.

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Speaker 2: If y'all like movies, if y'all like sci fi movies,

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Speaker 2: y'all gotta watch that Damsel.

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Speaker 1: It's about a dragon, a bad bitch dragon. So oh,

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Speaker 1: I want to see that. I want a dragon.

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Speaker 2: It's of course you, of course you want to Drag

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Speaker 2: Dracoda's bitchy'all be like Calisi on y'all host. So, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I watched that movie. It was good and I just

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Speaker 2: kind of chilled. Yeah, that's all got on the scale.

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Speaker 2: I'm one hundred and eighty three pounds. Don't play with.

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Speaker 3: Me, girl, Fuck you guy.

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Speaker 1: I did take a laxative today, so I didn't lose

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Speaker 1: two pounds right before this recording. Okay, let's get in

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Speaker 1: the stupid Internet news.

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Speaker 2: And happier news. Marriage race are up and divorce races

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Speaker 2: are down. Dadda share by the a A Right dadda

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Speaker 2: share by the CDC on Friday shows how the number

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Speaker 2: of marriages grew from five point one per one thousand

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Speaker 2: people in twenty twenty to six point two per one

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Speaker 2: thousand people in twenty twenty two. The highest rate observes

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Speaker 2: is twenty eighteen, and a four percent increase from the

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Speaker 2: year before. Between two thousand and nine and twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 2: the marriage rate stood at six point eight per one

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Speaker 2: thousand people, according to the CDC, so people are getting

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Speaker 2: married and staying married. More people got divorced.

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Speaker 1: I think during COVID twenty twenty right twenty nineteen twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty is when people realize I can't be with this

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Speaker 1: motherfucker no more, because we were forced to sit the

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Speaker 1: fuck down. So now a lot of people got divorced

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Speaker 1: during that time. And then if you survived COVID with whomever,

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Speaker 1: maybe your you know, a boyfriend, girlfriend, maybe those are

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Speaker 1: the people who are getting married now. So everybody who

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Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to be together have split, And then the

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Speaker 1: economy has always been based on double occupancy. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why people be out here trying to struggle by themselves.

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Speaker 2: I be living with.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I have only lived with a

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Speaker 1: couple of men in my life. I have normally just

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Speaker 1: always lived by myself.

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Speaker 2: But I do not that in my life.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like I do not want to pay

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Speaker 1: all my bills by myself when I was in college,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to pay fifty percent either, So

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Speaker 1: there's that.

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Speaker 2: When I was in college, I had a boyfriend. I

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Speaker 2: had my own place and he had his own place,

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Speaker 2: but we always kind of stayed at his place, so

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Speaker 2: I kind of lived with him, but I kind of

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Speaker 2: didn't because I still had my own shit.

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Speaker 1: But one foot in, one foot out, yep.

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Speaker 2: And then and then I live with one man in

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Speaker 2: my entire life for like three years. I think of that,

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Speaker 2: and that's the three of the hardest years of my life.

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Speaker 2: Exactly all my life, I had to fight.

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Speaker 1: Girl, trying to cohabitate with someone else is very fucking stressful.

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Speaker 1: And I followed this bitch on Instagram. Her name is

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Speaker 1: Elena something. She's a Russian lady, like I want to

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Speaker 1: live that life, like I need I need need everything

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Speaker 1: in my place, in perfect order, where it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be at like I'm trying to lie.

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Speaker 2: I'd rather be jealous of those people. Are their lives

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Speaker 2: really like that structured? Because how the fuck you do that?

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Speaker 2: Like my it could be my house looks like in order,

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Speaker 2: but until you open a drawer, open a closet, I

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Speaker 2: look under the Oh, well, you can't get under my bed,

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Speaker 2: but if you could have, it would have been shipped

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Speaker 2: up under there. But that closet. Lord, have mercy. So

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Speaker 2: we're happy to see that people are staying married, whether

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Speaker 2: it be for money or love. We're happy to see

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Speaker 2: y'all staying together.

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Speaker 1: Poor people get married for love. Remember we said that, Okay.

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Speaker 2: As long as they staying together, I'm happy for you.

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Speaker 2: Drunk the broom, baby, whatever you gotta do, it's love.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. I've been obsessed with marriage lately.

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Speaker 2: I've been picking out wedding songs. I've been picking out

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Speaker 2: wedding colors. I ain't got the first man. That's manifestation,

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Speaker 2: but like, yeah, so weird because I heard the song,

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Speaker 2: like y'all, I literally saved it the other day and

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Speaker 2: I put wedding song playlists and I had to like

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Speaker 2: bust out laughing at my motherfucker stuff because I've.

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Speaker 1: Had I have had vowels written for many years in

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Speaker 1: my cell phone, and you know, like nowadays, like once

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Speaker 1: you save some shit, it goes like I have my vowels.

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Speaker 2: It's a song called first Time by Teaks. If y'all

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Speaker 2: getting married, y'all need to put that in your wedding playlist.

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Speaker 2: It is so beautiful. So yeah, that's on my playlist too.

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Speaker 1: That's how you manifest though. You just start doing it. Things,

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Speaker 1: start planning, shit, you trying to move, start packing.

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Speaker 2: Listen, I got a really really hot date this weekend.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to make that my husband and I think

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Speaker 2: put them in a little job. Ain't putting no more

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Speaker 2: niggas in No more jars. The last thing I put

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Speaker 2: in my jar ignored me the whole time we was

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Speaker 2: in the club together. I'm not putting no more niggas in,

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Speaker 2: no more jars for that shit. I just playing Saucy

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Speaker 2: Santana and Gilbert Arenas. What happened girl?

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Speaker 1: So Sacy is sharing a message for Saucy Santana has

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Speaker 1: a message for Gilbert Arenas. After the formal NBA player

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Speaker 1: praised the rappers twerking skills. Okay, he said he didn't

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Speaker 1: know whether or not to throw money at Saucy or

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Speaker 1: at Magda Stallion. I don't know how a heterosexual man

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Speaker 1: could be confused by either one of those things, but okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm here for it regardless. So here's how things initially

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Speaker 1: popped off between Gilbert Arenas and Saucy Santana on March

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Speaker 1: eighth and episode of Arenas's podcast with stream on YouTube.

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Speaker 1: About an hour and eight minutes into the show, Arenas

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Speaker 1: broadfellow former NBA player Nick Young as a guest. So

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Speaker 1: apparently Nick Young and Saucy Santana are homeboys, okay, and

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Speaker 1: Gilbert feels like he's not a raper, but he feels

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Speaker 1: like Saucy Santana isn't a rapper, and how could this

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Speaker 1: be your homeboy?

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Speaker 2: This you know gay man. He was like, oh, hell,

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Speaker 2: that's your dog. It's just how old is that nigga?

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Speaker 1: Let's see old enough he gets on my goddamn nerves. Okay, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he would be afraid of gay men or just being

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Speaker 1: seen with one. I don't know what the problem would be.

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Speaker 1: You see that picture recently that fifty Cent posted with

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Speaker 1: him young Buck and some.

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Speaker 2: Trans woman. No, and fifty.

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Speaker 1: Cent was like, now I know why that boy like

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Speaker 1: young Buck was far away from fifty Cent in this woman.

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Speaker 1: But you know Young Buck had been caught with a

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Speaker 1: transsexual at some point, so you want to keep up

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Speaker 1: being parents that you don't fuck with them. Meanwhile, right,

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Speaker 1: meanwhile you dibbling, dabbling and skippity pappen with them niggas. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: that could be what Gilbert Arenas is on.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It'd be those older millennials that like

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Speaker 2: really be like low key homophobic, and I think it

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Speaker 2: expawns from the culture of the nineties in the early

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Speaker 2: two thousands where people were extremely homophobic, you know, especially

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Speaker 2: in a hip hop and black community that was a

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Speaker 2: huge thing. But I mean, you can be friends with

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Speaker 2: someone who's gay. That's dumb, that's stupid.

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Speaker 1: Right, And obviously Nick Young is comfortable in his own

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Speaker 1: skin sexuality, and yeah, where he can have friends who

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Speaker 1: prefer the same sex. And because the thing is is

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Speaker 1: that even though a man is gay, gay men still

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Speaker 1: have preference. You may not be his preference, right yo words, Okay,

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Speaker 1: he may not even like you. But just because a

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Speaker 1: man is gay, you automatically think he wants match.

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Speaker 2: But Saustly was like, I do like you, I do.

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Speaker 2: I will take you down, gilbrit Man, Yeah that was

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Speaker 2: that was interesting. I didn't know Gilbert Arena's It's a

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Speaker 2: lot of sports shows out now, how I didn't know

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Speaker 2: he had a podcast. So everybody got a damn podcast.

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Speaker 2: Shah everybody and they mama, well, I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: see what unfolds with this, Saucy Gilbert. Good luck to

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Speaker 2: you too whatever happens.

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Speaker 1: So Golorrilla tweeted New Orleans really do got the best

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Speaker 1: food in the whole wide world.

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Speaker 2: I stamp it you and you too. You're on to

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Speaker 2: stamp some shit, Golilla.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm from Charleston, South Carolina, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: we got the best food, and it's very similar to

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Speaker 1: a lot of the things that people eat normal.

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Speaker 2: Even a dialect is kind of similar, right, I think.

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Speaker 2: But I have similar cuisine for sure.

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Speaker 1: Because it's a lot of good places to eat at

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Speaker 1: in Charleston. But this may be an unpopular opinion as

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Speaker 1: much as I see posts online about people talking shit

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Speaker 1: about white people and how the food look unseasoned and

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Speaker 1: all that. Sama y'all over seasoned food. You do not

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Speaker 1: have to use everything in your cabinet to make food

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Speaker 1: taste good. I lean towards using herbs and spices more

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Speaker 1: and salt and larries. Okay, y'all put butter on everything.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. The best food I ever

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Speaker 2: had in my life was in Soul. Korea sold them.

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Speaker 2: Korea's got sold okay, because that food was so good.

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Speaker 2: It definitely had some black and fluids. I don't care

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Speaker 2: what nobody said. That food was so good out there. Now,

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Speaker 2: we do use a lot of season I remember I

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Speaker 2: was like at my white girlfriend house and I was like,

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Speaker 2: let me cook the chicken because I don't know what

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Speaker 2: you're about to do. And I might have got over

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Speaker 2: zealous with the Laris because I felt like I had something.

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Speaker 1: To prove.

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Speaker 2: And that shit was salty as fuck. I was like,

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Speaker 2: my bad, not you ruined that lady chick. I didn't

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Speaker 2: ruin her chicken because I just had something to prove

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Speaker 2: as a black person that we used season and I

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Speaker 2: just went too crazy with it.

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Speaker 3: Yo.

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Speaker 1: I used missus Dash a lot. You know, it's salt free.

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Speaker 1: It has like garlic, all these different herbs and stuff,

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Speaker 1: and then I just added like a pinch of salt

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Speaker 1: and pepper, you know, just depending on what I'm cooking.

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Speaker 2: If I'm I don't eat chicken this.

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Speaker 1: Shit, so I eat fish, a lot of fish. So

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Speaker 1: I usually use kinda not the same seasoning because I

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Speaker 1: don't want all my food to taste the same, right.

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Speaker 2: But some of y'all put to I watched these.

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Speaker 1: Videos on Instagram, and I'm like, they take a bowl

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Speaker 1: and they put all this seasoning in the bowl and

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Speaker 1: pour it on top. That is wild to me, because

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Speaker 1: there's no way this shit tastes good, Like I want

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Speaker 1: to taste some of this food.

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Speaker 2: I got a theory. I think it is the season

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Speaker 2: is that we use as black people that's given Black

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Speaker 2: women fibroids.

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Speaker 1: It's all the things because a lot of that stuff

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Speaker 1: has MSG. And I don't know if y'all know or not,

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Speaker 1: but that season accent, that's all that is. MSG is

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Speaker 1: assault substitute. And I know in Charleston for sure, most

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Speaker 1: black people are putting accent on everything. It's MSG, that's

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Speaker 1: all it is. That long ass mono, whatever clos word,

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Speaker 1: that's all it is. Yeah, our food is hereditary, hereditary,

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Speaker 1: not the diseases, right, So shout out to New Orleans.

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Speaker 1: I would agree that they probably have the second best

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Speaker 1: cuisine in America. Okay, travel a little because I mean

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Speaker 1: some are shit.

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Speaker 2: Ain't touch another country. I like New Orleans food, but

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Speaker 2: I also like Charleston too. I ain't gonna front.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've only been to New Orleans one time, and

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Speaker 1: I don't recall having a good meal there. And it

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Speaker 1: may have been the places I went to, you know.

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Speaker 1: But we cook some of the same simular shit like

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Speaker 1: rad rice, jambalaya, all that shit. We could just call

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Speaker 1: it something different. Oftentimes weat a lot of crabs, blue crab,

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Speaker 1: like I'm sick of the crab tasting like roger wood sausage.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that shit. Who are I don't Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't like, don't put no sausage in my bag

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Speaker 2: because it just like everything tastes like sausage. And a

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Speaker 2: lot of people don't know what roger Woods are, Like

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Speaker 2: DM must if y'all know what a roger Wood sausage is,

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Speaker 2: because then here and Charlotte I talk about roger Woods,

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Speaker 2: they'd be like, what's that? How the fuck y'all don't

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Speaker 2: know what a roger Wood is. Y'all ain't had a

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Speaker 2: sausage until you had a roger Wood period.

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Speaker 1: Girl, I think you used to bust in the microwave.

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Speaker 2: Oh not bust's say, it's been a minute since I

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Speaker 2: so so anything say everything sounds sexual sexual. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: Growing up, if we didn't have roger Wood sausage, we

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Speaker 1: ain't have.

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Speaker 2: Nothing to eat. We at least have yeah period.

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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, listen, we are we've ended cuffing season essentially, right.

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Speaker 1: They say it ends uh begins in October sometime ends

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Speaker 1: around Valentine's Day and we in tax season now. So

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Speaker 1: is it a good time to start talking to your

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Speaker 1: bay about finances? If you guys have made it, you've.

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Speaker 2: Been getting at Roger Wood, you talking about money yet

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Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about it when we come back.

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Speaker 1: Before we get into the today's topic. Y'all. I saw

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Speaker 1: a white girl. She was saying she was on a podcast,

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Speaker 1: and she was talking about all the things she does

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Speaker 1: for he husband. She was like, I rub his head,

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Speaker 1: you know, she basically like caresses him like a baby

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Speaker 1: to put him to bed and shit like that. And

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Speaker 1: when he wakes up, she makes some coffee, she massages

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Speaker 1: his back like all of those are like that might

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Speaker 1: be his love language, like touch, touch. I don't see

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Speaker 1: what the big deal was. Like women was in the

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Speaker 1: comments like wow, anybody doing all that? But she may

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Speaker 1: just be talking about it verbally. But it's natural, right

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Speaker 1: when you love somebody, you rubbing them up. I rather

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Speaker 1: rub a nigga back to sleep like a baby than

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Speaker 1: they have to have sex every night. Nigga, I'm rubbing

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Speaker 1: this skin off.

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Speaker 2: Your rubber too. But it's a sensory thing for me

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Speaker 2: because once I hit the weed, I'd be wanting something

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Speaker 2: to touch. So nigga here get rubbed.

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Speaker 1: Like y'all ain't touching y'all, man, what's what's.

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Speaker 2: Run with y'all? Yeah, I'm rub feet and everything has It's.

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Speaker 1: Not my thing. Okay, No, I like to rub feet,

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Speaker 1: like with my feet, but like rub foot my hand.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm definitely giving my nigga fut message.

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Speaker 1: I had that, not you trying to get that husband.

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Speaker 2: I had that. It's all like a sensory thing for

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Speaker 2: me though, So it's don't even be about them seriously.

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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, how do we start talking about money

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Speaker 1: and relationships? I mean, especially when you're about to maybe

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Speaker 1: perhaps cohabitate. I don't think we're doing the traditional way

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Speaker 1: of you know, being at your parents were old as

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Speaker 1: fuck now, is what I'm saying, speaker.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not right.

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Speaker 1: I'm not at my parents' house about to move in

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Speaker 1: with this man about to marry. We already passed that

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Speaker 1: order of things, right, So when is when is it

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Speaker 1: time or when is the appropriate time you think tam

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Speaker 1: to discuss finances when dating someone?

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Speaker 2: I mean, as a younger, we passed dating right as

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Speaker 2: a girl. Shut up girl on the first day, let's

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Speaker 2: talk about it. It's like I'm joking, but I mean

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Speaker 2: that's how these young girls are. They talk about money

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Speaker 2: right out the gate, like if you're not paying to

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Speaker 2: play like they don't even want to talk to me.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's right. Y'all need to calm down

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Speaker 2: with that, because y'all just gonna get somebody who only

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Speaker 2: got money and nothing else, and that's about everything else,

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Speaker 2: and that's low key broke. I know that sounds crazy

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Speaker 2: to y'all, Like he got all the money, but if

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Speaker 2: he ain't got nothing else, he still broke. Baby. I

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Speaker 2: had to learn that shit the hard way. So I

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Speaker 2: was in a beautiful place, miserable as fuck, with a

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Speaker 2: nigga who just had money. So trust me, that's not

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Speaker 2: all you want. But okay, when is the best time

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Speaker 2: to start talking about finances? I don't know, I think

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Speaker 2: see I feel like I know, like I don't exactly

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Speaker 2: know what a nigga got, but I know if a

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Speaker 2: nigga got some you know what I'm saying, Like I

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Speaker 2: don't just be out here like I can't tell if

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Speaker 2: he's poor or not. Right, So when we're discussing like

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Speaker 2: joint finances is when we start talking about living together,

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Speaker 2: When we start talking about moving in, I think that's

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Speaker 2: when you start talking about like do you expect me

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Speaker 2: to pay for shit? Like that's that's what and I

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Speaker 2: think I would go into it like I don't want

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Speaker 2: to pay. I don't want to pay for nothing. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna just tell you that, right, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: pay for nothing, but I am willing to contribute in

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Speaker 2: some type of way, Like I'll pay the cable bill,

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Speaker 2: I'll pay the Wi Fi, I'll pay for my gas

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Speaker 2: in my car, payment in my cell phone bill. So

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Speaker 2: you don't want to pay for any living experience. I'll

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Speaker 2: pay for groceries. I don't want to pay no rent.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to pay no mortgage. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to pay no leads. I don't want to pay none

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Speaker 2: of that. No, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Think I think the ideal like situation, right, we would

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Speaker 1: love would be like the woman moving into a man's home.

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Speaker 1: But we know oftentimes women owning homes more than men.

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Speaker 1: So the man is moving in which I don't think

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Speaker 1: any man should want to do that. You should probably

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Speaker 1: try to have your own and have the woman moving

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Speaker 1: with you. Right, You've already been fitting the bills in

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Speaker 1: your space, so adding a woman in there, there's intrinsic

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Speaker 1: value that women come with. Right, So like say, for instance,

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Speaker 1: you're a business owner, like I may not pay like

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Speaker 1: bills in the house, but somehow, because I'm here, existing

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Speaker 1: and breathing and nourishing you, your business has now explanged tenfold. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is what women bring should bring A good woman, right,

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Speaker 1: should bring to the table to where you're not concerned

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Speaker 1: about what she's actually paying for financially, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that may not be the case for everybody.

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Speaker 2: Like some people are not going to you know, some people,

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Speaker 2: men and women included, are getting into relationships to lighting

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Speaker 2: a load on both of them.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: So if you do go, if.

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Speaker 3: You do here, present the fuck.

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Speaker 2: Whatever works. Okay, whatever works.

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Speaker 1: But I think that I don't think I've ever sat

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Speaker 1: down with a man, even when I was engaged about

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Speaker 1: to get married. I think I was kind of like

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Speaker 1: just being with somebody for a while, you kind of

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Speaker 1: know what their financial situation is, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I had the good credit, this nigga old a bunch

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Speaker 1: of taxes, like I kind of knew what the fuck

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Speaker 1: going going on. Yeah, and then eventually like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: figure this shit out. I'm gonna go get get us

390
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Speaker 1: a business loan. All this shit, We're gonna pay that

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Speaker 1: shit down, Like we were trying to work together in a way.

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Speaker 1: But even even a situation like that can become like damn,

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Speaker 1: why you don't got this shit to get together on.

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Speaker 2: Your own without me?

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Speaker 1: It could start to feel like that, like why are

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Speaker 1: you depending on me to do this this thing that

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Speaker 1: you should have been this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I had I was dating this guy and

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Speaker 2: I liked him a lot, but and he was you know,

400
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 2: he had money or whatever, he was doing well for himself,

401
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 2: but he gambled. He had a very very bad gambling

402
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 2: habit like that that year during the football season. I

403
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 2: think he lost well over fifty thousand dollars gambling. And

404
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 2: that was like a yeah, I ain't gone into this, Nancy.

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Speaker 1: That's the type of things you need to find out

406
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: when you ask about finances, because if somebody somebody, people

407
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: can appear to have things together, but then when you

408
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: actually get into the real action potatoes, you realize like, yeah,

409
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: he might look like he got shit going on, but

410
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: he's really in debt or he's living off credit, which

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Speaker 1: is okay, right, But if you have some liquid cash somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Right, something so okay, how would you approach it?

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Speaker 1: Like I don't talking about finances politics religion. They're all

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Speaker 1: like very touchy subjects, and especially.

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Speaker 2: For men, men are very like they value their money

416
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Speaker 2: the way we value our bodies. So it's kind of like,

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Speaker 2: are you trying to take my virginity? That's how a

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Speaker 2: nigga with his money.

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Speaker 1: What I would tell men and women listen, just put

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Speaker 1: your expectations out on the table. They won't really you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, So people can get the fuck

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Speaker 1: on through if it's something that they don't want to

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Speaker 1: deal with. So I'm not saying the very first date,

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Speaker 1: you should be trying to see how much money this

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Speaker 1: man got. You can kind of get.

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Speaker 2: An idea.

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Speaker 1: Based on his lifestyle, how he lives, his social status,

428
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Speaker 1: like who he knows, you.

429
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Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You can kind of gauge what type of man you're

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00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: dealing with without as actually asking him how much money

432
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: you got, unless you're now.

433
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 2: In Atlanta, because them niggas is boo but for nesser

434
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 2: central goods. Damn, Like these niggas be like, yeah, I

435
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 2: live downtown and then it'd be like seven of them

436
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 2: in a high rise apartment or he only.

437
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: Courting you to steal your social s down there in Atlanta.

438
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: But listen, remember Jim Bay, Remember the nigga from the

439
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: gym I told y'all was fucking with one. So he

440
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 1: was like actively, well, I don't know if it was

441
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: just he wanted me to do this thing or he

442
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 1: was actively looking for somebody to basically be in a

443
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 1: poly relationship with. And I'm like, listen, I don't like women,

444
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,880
Speaker 1: and he wanted like somebody to move into his home.

445
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like women, right, And then if

446
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 1: I did like women, who's to say I'm gonna like

447
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: your bitch in particular?

448
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 2: Right right?

449
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: And on top of that, I'm like, well, how much

450
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: money you got for a situation like this? He was like,

451
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: I got I got about three hundred thousand in the bank.

452
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 1: I don't think that's enough to take care of two

453
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: women and all the shit that you want to that's

454
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: not a bad starter help you financially. I feel like

455
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: he wants two women to help him get to the

456
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 1: next level.

457
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 2: Well, I think if you in that, y'all all should

458
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: be helping in some type of way, right. You can't

459
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: just have two bitches laying around the house.

460
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: I'm not moving in Listen. Even if I was down

461
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 1: with some type of poly situation. I'm not moving into

462
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: a house with another woman like your your fucking nuts.

463
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: When white men or other men do these type of things,

464
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: they yeah, everybody got their own house. I'm not about

465
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: to be in the house with you and another woman like,

466
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: you're nuts. You can't afford this situation. That's what I'm saying.

467
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,120
Speaker 1: Three hundred thousand dollars.

468
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 2: Two grown women can't live in the house together unless

469
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: they are also intimate with each other. I think they

470
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: have this. Yeah, they have to be in love with

471
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 2: each other too. And Susan period sink of bitch is

472
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 2: gonna be scrapping. He might be the one getting beat.

473
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 2: So I went on this website called elves dot com

474
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 2: and they have a list of things that you how

475
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: to get started with a conversation with your partner when

476
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: you're getting serious talking about money. So what it says is, uh,

477
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 2: here's a breakdown of what you two should share and discuss.

478
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 2: So you should first start with what each what are

479
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 2: each other's approaches to spending money. So this is a

480
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: good one to start with because it's about the day

481
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 2: to day stuff. What kinds of things do you think

482
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: are worth splurging on and saying before do you both

483
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 2: have a good idea of what you are coming in

484
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: with and what's going out? Do you track every penny?

485
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 2: Are you more of a fifty to thirty twenty kind

486
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: of person? Which one do you think you are? Track

487
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: every penny or fifty thirty twenty rule?

488
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: Break that down?

489
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 2: What does that really mean? So, okay, let's google it.

490
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: I kind of I.

491
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 2: Don't track every penny.

492
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: I remember growing up and my mom would have her

493
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: checkbook register and she's writing down. We don't really have

494
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 1: to do that anymore because we have we have online banking, right,

495
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 1: but she'd write down everything she spent and have her

496
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: total at the bum. I definitely don't live that type

497
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: of life now. My older sister does because she was

498
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 1: really raised the longest with my mom. So she, even

499
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: though she has online banking, she stole rights out.

500
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all just bad. That's when people use track

501
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: checking books, you know, so they just had everything written down.

502
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 2: The fifty to thirty twenty rule recommends putting fifty percent

503
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: of your money towards needs, thirty percent towards once, and

504
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 2: twenty percent towards savings. These saving categories also include money

505
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 2: you will need to realize your future goals. So that's

506
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 2: the fifty thirty twenty rule.

507
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 1: Okay, so right now I'm definitely not doing twenty, but

508
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,199
Speaker 1: I'm talking with a financial advisor trying to get my

509
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: life together for the future. So that's what I definitely invest,

510
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: but I probably spend more money than I invest at

511
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: this point. I make money off and off my investments,

512
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: but I be spending money, so I would say, I, no,

513
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: I don't do no fifty thirty twenty nothing. I'd be

514
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: swiping and then I'm scared to look at my account.

515
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: I'd be avoiding.

516
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: Logging into online binging, like I kind of got an

517
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: idea in my head and what the number gonna be

518
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: when I log.

519
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 2: In, I'm like, I'm a penny picture, Like I save everything.

520
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: I save everything. My mama said, I hold a dollar

521
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: so tight. The ego on that motherfucker be screaming.

522
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 3: Don't want to spend everybody el shit, But.

523
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: That just comes from a mindset of growing up with less.

524
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 2: I just want to hold onto everything I get. I

525
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: really definitely down to like the penny for everything, Like

526
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: I literally put everything in the savings and then have

527
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 2: to like pull from it sometimes because I don't want

528
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 2: to touch it.

529
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: I kind of do the same thing, and not with

530
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: savings because you know, you ain't supposed to be withdrawing

531
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: from savings account that many times because then you end

532
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:57,640
Speaker 1: up with a fee.

533
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: Right, So I got multiple checking.

534
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 1: I do certain things out of But yeah, I'll fuck

535
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: around and be swiping from all three accounts all day long,

536
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: like oh, this one might not have no money left,

537
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 1: and let me go hit this one like.

538
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 2: Wilin, No baby, I'm definitely in the grocery store if

539
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 2: it's a packaged chicken and eight is one for eight

540
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: sixty five, and there's one for eight sixty three.

541
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 1: But that's savings, right, So you're looking for a deal always,

542
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,479
Speaker 1: I'm definitely Yeah, me too. That's not really like uh

543
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: as far as keeping your finances in order though, because bitch,

544
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 1: you be looking at them chicken, but I know you

545
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: just have food delivered that you could have win and gotten.

546
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah I did so, saving a penny on a pack

547
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: of chicken, But you're paying these extra fees for Uber

548
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: Eats doesn't make sense.

549
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 2: I need. I'll definitely be door dashing.

550
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all tripping with that door dash it y'all are tripping,

551
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: go get your food. If you're trying to save money,

552
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: start there. If you are trying to like course correct

553
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: your finances, start at all the luxuries that these people

554
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: have created to get your coin.

555
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 2: The girl, that's why I work hard, so I cannot

556
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 2: some things I'm not gonna give up, And that's a

557
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: door dawsh ever rebound again. All right. So the next

558
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 2: one is how do you each feel about your finances

559
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: at the moment? Like who has debt and if so,

560
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: are you working on paying it off? Some people manage

561
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 2: to avoid debt their whole lives, but most don't, and

562
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 2: paying it off has a big impact on how much

563
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: of your income is left for saving and spending. Discuss

564
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 2: what kinds of debt you each have student loans, car loans,

565
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 2: credit cards, et cetera, and what their balance and interest

566
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 2: rates are. Do they have an emergency fund just in case?

567
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 2: It might be a good to ask about their credit score.

568
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: People get very sensitive about their credit score, But.

569
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: If you have a good one, you always bragging.

570
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 2: But if you don't, you don't be like you asked

571
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 2: me all kind of personal shit.

572
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: Like I'm not bragging on my credit score.

573
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: Right now. But the thing is, I don't really care

574
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: about credit.

575
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm more like Glorella when she said I'm not fucked up,

576
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: but no credit score might be rich them all, and

577
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: I know how to beef my credit score up overnight,

578
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: so I'm never concerned about the credit score ship. But

579
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: the motherfucker taxes. When somebody mentioned taxes, like I get offended.

580
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: Like why who are you?

581
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: Who sent you? Who sent you?

582
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: Like a nigga in a DM if he say he

583
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: worked for like any of the letters like why are

584
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: you here?

585
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: Are you looking for me?

586
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: Because they have a lot of creative ways to find

587
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 1: people that old taxes.

588
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: My thing is, I just got mad when I started

589
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: becoming people who had the people who had to pay

590
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 2: taxes versus getting my check. I've always been there. Oh

591
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: what the hell? Why am I paying? I never got

592
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: big checks because I didn't have no kids, right, but

593
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: I done got like an eight three dollars check one

594
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: year now, bitch, don't get nothing I owe every time.

595
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 2: I hate that.

596
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: The only time I've never not paid taxes is when

597
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: I'm doing some finiggling and claim somebody's kid. Other than that,

598
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: I always even when you were yard, I made more

599
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: money when I was younger, like bitch was balling in

600
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: her twenties. Like, I always paid fucking taxes unless I

601
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: had like a dependent to kind of offset the amount

602
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: of taxes I had to pay.

603
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: But I've never gotten no stupid checks from taxing. I

604
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: never gotten read. I think I got like like a

605
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 2: student credit or some sort, like when I was in

606
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 2: college and got a couple dollars back, But I never

607
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 2: got no big checks.

608
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, like people with kids or people who would just

609
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: be doing the most filing all these kids elderly any taxes.

610
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 2: The next one is what are your short term money plans?

611
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 2: Here's where you can go and feel for where you're

612
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 2: headed together over the next year or so. Do they

613
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: have plans to get the debt paid off? Do they

614
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: want to build an emergency fund? Do they want to

615
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 2: change jobs anytime soon? Are you currently saving for retirement?

616
00:31:54,280 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: Things like that. I definitely have a retirement fund. Yeah.

617
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: We don't have these conversations enough. You know, no, and

618
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: I don't think so, but I think that.

619
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: Okay, if you're dating someone seriously, y'all now pass courting.

620
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: You're in a relationship and you're talking about finances, I

621
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: would think that, like, y'all need to be calculating the

622
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: price of an engagement ring too. But are you expecting

623
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: this other person to contribute to the things that you

624
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: have or are you there just to counsel them into

625
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: how to pay their debt off?

626
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 2: Or like what are we doing?

627
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: Like could this be a maybe you're walking away after

628
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 1: this conversation? Damn right, because nigga, I can't help you

629
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: too far at debt.

630
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 2: I was dating this guy that I really liked, y'all,

631
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: I really liked him, Like everything was phenomenal. We got along,

632
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: he seemed to be he had a business, you know,

633
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 2: he had on his own store, and we were talking

634
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 2: about you know, he told me he had a daughter,

635
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: and we talked about the daughter, and then somewhere randomly

636
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: the conversation said, he came up and said he had

637
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: a son that lived thirty minutes away that I had

638
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: never heard nothing about. And we had been kicking it

639
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: for months. I was like, well, what's up with this son?

640
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 2: He was like if I don't know what's up with him?

641
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 2: And he's like, if that little nigga want to know

642
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: me when he gets big, he can come find me immediately.

643
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: My Cuchie dried up like the Sahara Desert prairie dars

644
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 2: start running past. It was like I heard Little House

645
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 2: of the Prairie thee music. That's how dry my coochie

646
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: got and I had to get up out of there

647
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 2: like immediately. That made me leave him alone, even though

648
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 2: I liked everything about him. But if you're somebody who

649
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: can say that about your own son who's thirty minutes away,

650
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: ain't nothing for me and you baby, nothing.

651
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: So I mean kids are something that need to be

652
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: discussed during the finance time. Absolutely, you have back child support.

653
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: I told you just before. Like I used to work

654
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: at a pink like customer service so people would be

655
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: It was so many women black and white, okay, and

656
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: everybody else in between call and crying about how the

657
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: government has now garnished their taxes because their husband owed

658
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: back child support. So now my money's gone for the

659
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: kids we have together or for my kids. But you

660
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: had a joint bank account bank account with this person,

661
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: so yeah, do you have back child support? Okay, y'all

662
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,479
Speaker 1: niggas can act like y'all don't give a damn about

663
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: a woman's income or her her her having a degree

664
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: or not when half y'all need help.

665
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 2: With paying child support.

666
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 3: Apparently, so yeah, children, that's not true.

667
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 2: A j don't do that to do some of them.

668
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: Girl, at a lot of them need help. I'm ashamed

669
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: to say this. My best friend has a child for

670
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 1: my second cousin.

671
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: She took him to.

672
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 1: Court because he was talking shit to her daughter, saying

673
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: like how much money he pays in child the whole time.

674
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 3: Girls, she don't care.

675
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 1: Whole time he was back, he had money, like back

676
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: child support he hadn't paid, but you brag into the

677
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: daughter about how much money you pay a child's for.

678
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 2: Girl.

679
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: They got in front of the judge and he was

680
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: like no in a super geechee voices. Imagine this man,

681
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: she got money, look at her.

682
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 2: What does that have to do with anything? Nothing?

683
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: Because at what point do you think you're not supposed

684
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: to be contributing at all?

685
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: Right? You know two things for your child? Absolutely, I

686
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: need to.

687
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: Know if you're on child' support. I need to know

688
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 1: how you how you take care of your kids. I

689
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,919
Speaker 1: need to know that. Also, you know, at this age,

690
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: younger people maybe they don't have any kids. It's not

691
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 1: a topic that would come out when talking about finances.

692
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: But yeah, if you're older, that's a conversation now. And

693
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: then the last one, what are your dreams for the future?

694
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: Are you working on it? This is the fun part.

695
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 2: Do you want to buy a home in a few years?

696
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: What do you dream about when you dream about retirement? Like,

697
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: that's the things that you can talk about. Putting those

698
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 2: things out on the table now will help you each

699
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 2: understand why the other person may be making today's financial

700
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 2: choices and gives you the opportunity to maybe even sync

701
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 2: up your plans once you're ready. That's dope. I Ideally,

702
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 2: for me, I would want to be in a relationship

703
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 2: where my man's money pays the bills and my money

704
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 2: creates the investments for us.

705
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,919
Speaker 1: That's entertainment some type of way. Yeah, like my maybe

706
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: my money is for entertainment. If we do our vacations,

707
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: all that we can have fly ash vacations. If I've

708
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 1: been saving all year for this thing.

709
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: Now, I feel like, yeah, vacations, but also building new

710
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: streams of income. That's what my money is gonna do.

711
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 2: That's ideally how I would want our relationship to go.

712
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 1: You know a lot of times people look at stay

713
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: at home moms. Oh, they're not contributing financially, but a

714
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 1: lot of them have like side hustles, online jobs, things

715
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: that they're doing from the house that may be making

716
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: more money. Like look at the TikTokers, right, Okay, it's

717
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: this one girl I'd be following on Instagram. She's a model,

718
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: sores or husband. They'd be making fun of her ass

719
00:36:55,080 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: on TikTok so bad. She's cooking. So she's cooking pregnant.

720
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 1: I mean she's making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from scratch.

721
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: Bitch seeing her y baking the bread like, that's all content.

722
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: And she has over a million followers and she's making

723
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: money doing day to day life. We just had Lexi

724
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: your homegirl in here. Like people, you can literally make

725
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 1: money off of being a homemaker now.

726
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: Right at this, As long as you got the right

727
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 2: camera angles, you can get a check.

728
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 3: Right.

729
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: So yeah, Like women with a lot of stay at

730
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: home moms have found a way to create online businesses

731
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: and they are driven into their households.

732
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: All the time. Right, I agree.

733
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: So I'm going to get a whiteboard and I'm going

734
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: to put up all my goals and my partner's goals

735
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 1: and we're going to execute things together. Like two people

736
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: is always better than me, right, always, especially when I

737
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: come to some money too many times two moneies.

738
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 2: So however I'm making money, I always be telling bitches

739
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 2: where they got their man and they living in the house.

740
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 2: I'll be like, girl, I am in a single income home. Okay, relax,

741
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: don't tell me I gotta bring you no birthday gift.

742
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 2: I was gonna bring one, but I have a single

743
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 2: income home to relax.

744
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: So I would say, talk about money often and soon. Yeah,

745
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: if you're planning on, like really being with this person,

746
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: because it's important.

747
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,240
Speaker 2: But that don't mean begging because some people get that wrong.

748
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, people be in bad moods when they when they

749
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: money fucked up. Right, So you don't want to be

750
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: in a relationship with somebody you didn't You didn't realize

751
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 1: this nigga was fucked up financially. Not a relationship is

752
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: going or this woman. Yeah, yeah, I will never be

753
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 1: considering women when I talk about money.

754
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about us. But don't know, man, want

755
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 2: to meet a woman, think she's great. The first conversation

756
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 2: she's like, hey, you're like, what's wrong with you? I

757
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 2: don't really want to talk about it. Don't tell me

758
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 2: what's that? Baby, what's wrong? I'm just saying, okay, well,

759
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 2: since you asks, I just I just have some debt

760
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: right now, and I just don't know how they're gonna

761
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 2: they're gonna put me out. I'm and get a victim

762
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 2: from my high rise apartment if somebody does not pay

763
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 2: this one for me, Like don Ni, No nigga wants

764
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 2: to hear that right out the gate.

765
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: But if you're trying to get rid of him, go

766
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: ahead and do that, because either he gonna give you

767
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 1: the money or you're gonna get the fuck on through.

768
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 3: Either way it's a win win.

769
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, I wouldn't.

770
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: We're not talking not necessarily.

771
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: Because you might run off a good guy because you just,

772
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 2: you know, coming out the gate telling him what you need.

773
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 2: You know, That's what I said.

774
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 1: Unless you want to, unless your your your intention is

775
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 1: to get rid of him, don't do that right yeah,

776
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: because men will get lost if they think you're trying

777
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: to get in their purse real quick. Okay, But I mean,

778
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 1: I'm talking about my finances too, you're talking about yours.

779
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: We're trying to see how we fit in each other's life.

780
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 1: Financially because like it or not, on this realm. Okay,

781
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: you need money to live. We can't get around it. Right,

782
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: So y'all mad when somebody say, oh, I make he

783
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 1: makes thirty forty thousand dollars a year, or you have

784
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: two hundred dollars the date is one ninety five, but

785
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 1: your man only has such and such.

786
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:19,919
Speaker 2: How much you're paying?

787
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 1: Like, what are we talking about? Okay, we need money

788
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 1: to breathe. At this point, air costs two dollars to

789
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 1: put gap to put air in the tire at the pumps,

790
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: So what are we talking about? So it's an important

791
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:34,280
Speaker 1: conversation and you need to find out early as possible.

792
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: You don't want to get in a relationship with.

793
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 1: Somebody who has fucking people looking for him because he

794
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: owes fifty million dollars to MGM Studio like Bruno Mars.

795
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 1: Bruno Mars, they say they own him. Somebody said that

796
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: MGM Studios' excuse me, MGM Casino, not Studios. Casino owns

797
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: Bruno Mars because he is in debt to them from

798
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: his gambling habits.

799
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what That's why I said I couldn't

800
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: talk to that guy because he was successful, but his

801
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 2: gambling habit was out of control.

802
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 1: I can't do it and one wrong move, shit can

803
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 1: go south.

804
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 2: This nigga had me down. Download and uh, what's that

805
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: sports bet and shit talking about? They're giving away a

806
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 2: free two hundred and fifty Go ahead and put it

807
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 2: on your phone. What I don't Okay.

808
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: He sounds like he was already in debt and he

809
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 1: just was balancing his debt and he was managing debt

810
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: is what he sounds like.

811
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 2: He was in sports betting.

812
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

813
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I had to go. I had to exit

814
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: stage left, baby, because you're gonna have it. You could

815
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 2: build something great with someone and they gamble it all

816
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: the way. You got time for that. Get at it there,

817
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 2: So old, let me just say this. I know this

818
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,240
Speaker 2: is kind of like off topic. I mean it's on topic,

819
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 2: but I used to work when I was living in Europe.

820
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 2: I used to work at this. Uh it was a

821
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 2: club and it had like, uh, the machines, the poker

822
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 2: machines like they had. Yeah, they had like a whole

823
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 2: section of slot machines and roulette and all kind of

824
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: stuff like that, right, And these people used to come

825
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 2: in there and they be on the machines all day long,

826
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 2: just feed and money into that machine. And this one

827
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 2: man he did not want to leave his machine because

828
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 2: he said it was getting hot, whatever that meaning. And

829
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 2: he doodooed on himself. He shipped his pants trying not

830
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: to lead a machine. Yeah, that's how bad it was.

831
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 2: And then they gonna tell me I got to go

832
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 2: in there to clean up. I said, I bet you

833
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: the fuck I won't. I bet you the fuck I won't.

834
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 2: I bet you I quit this motherfucker before I go

835
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 2: in there and clean up. No doodo out, no chair,

836
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 2: You'll find somebody else to do it.

837
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: They throw that chair in the trash. What.

838
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 2: I'm a bartender, that's it. I came here to make drinks.

839
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 2: That's whole casino funk his hell because this man couldn't

840
00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 2: get up from that machine. On that note, yes, get

841
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:05,959
Speaker 2: your finances in order.

842
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, talk about it. It's all about the Benjamin's baby period.

843
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: Talk about the money you got to it's a must.

844
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: You do want to end up in a bad situation.

845
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: That's your last last Yes, bitch, it's all about the Benjamins.

846
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 2: My last last is you want a nigga to trick

847
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: on your trick first. It's like real gold niggas definitely

848
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: trick first.

849
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 3: Somebody a little trinkt a little nice little.

850
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: Because nine times out ten, nobody's ever done anything nice

851
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: for him, Like niggas don't get flowers.

852
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not that. Don't say that. I say that,

853
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 2: but don't do it because you are looking for something

854
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 2: in return. Do it because you actually care about this nigga.

855
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 2: You want to see him smile. And usually when you

856
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 2: treat somebody good, they'll treat you good in return. That's

857
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 2: my last last Yeah, okay, y'all.

858
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: So if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every

859
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: Thursday on The Black Effect podcast iHeartRadio app or over

860
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: the Fuck you get your podcast at.

861
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: This is your co host, aj Holiday two point zero

862
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 2: on instagrams. What's Up Tam y'all is official Tambama on Instagram.

863
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 2: Y'all follow me like, y'all. We got ninety four days

864
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: till summer. I'm down twenty three pounds, y'all. If y'all

865
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,879
Speaker 2: trying to get skinny with me, I'm doing urbal life.

866
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: Y'all can do it with me.

867
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: Oh, y'all, I'm trying to get skinny with you fuck

868
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 1: the rest of them.

869
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 2: Okay, I said, come on you, I'll send you some

870
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 2: samples and all kind of good shit if you want

871
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 2: me to. I'll put it in the mail to you girl.

872
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 2: But y'all, y'all can order it. The link is on

873
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 2: my page and the links on my DM. If you

874
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 2: do order something, I'll add you to my close friends

875
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 2: and we can have this conversation going and get fine together.

876
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 2: Some of it is coming. Let's not play, that's all

877
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell y'all. Y'all, don't be big backed to

878
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 2: on the boat. I mean, if you are, that's cool too,

879
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 2: But if you don't want to be, join me. Y'all.

880
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,720
Speaker 2: I love y'all. Remember to speak now and never hold

881
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 2: your piece or your back.

882
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: Fast a tattoo on my backpat ask me if I care.

883
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: Bye deuces. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

884
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.