Speaker 1: Okay, salute, salute.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 3: Hi, I am Freddie Rodriguez and I'm Wilmer Valdoroma.
Speaker 2: We are in the Dose Amigos podcast.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for everyone who's been prescribing
Speaker 1: and downloading.
Speaker 3: It's so amazing that you'll have been looking for us
Speaker 3: everywhere else that we are available and and.
Speaker 1: Just enjoying these conversations.
Speaker 3: You know, the idea of this podcast was to kind
Speaker 3: of come together, reflect look ahead, but also be present
Speaker 3: and enjoying and enjoying our friendship and the life that
Speaker 3: we've lived, you know, in the legacy we're leaving behind.
Speaker 3: And I think in this episode, you know, we wanted
Speaker 3: to kind of domestify, you know, some of these things
Speaker 3: you know that you know, multi generation that we've been
Speaker 3: passed down, you know, I know mental health oth is
Speaker 3: a is a big subject, you know, something that a
Speaker 3: lot of people, you know struggle with today and and
Speaker 3: you know, perhaps some of our listeners in this very
Speaker 3: moment are going through a really difficult time. So we
Speaker 3: thought it'd be cool to just say, hey, you know,
Speaker 3: let's reflect on some of the things that we do
Speaker 3: for ourselves. You know, some of the things that you
Speaker 3: know that has gotten us through the darkness. You know,
Speaker 3: our jobs, this career could be so so you know,
Speaker 3: so tough, you know, rejection and the negativity that can
Speaker 3: be surrounded by you know, it could be not just scary,
Speaker 3: but could also really be.
Speaker 1: Daunting.
Speaker 3: It's hard to find the path, you know, when you're
Speaker 3: when you're when you enter in these zones, and how
Speaker 3: do you keep yourself yourself saying how do you keep
Speaker 3: priority as the guide in light? And you know, how
Speaker 3: do you protect yourself in all these ways? And we had.
Speaker 1: To do things right.
Speaker 3: We had to kind of figure out what are these
Speaker 3: things that you treat you know yourself to you know,
Speaker 3: and you know, I'll start with you know my version, right.
Speaker 1: I started this thing called my hour.
Speaker 3: A day that if if in twenty four hours you
Speaker 3: didn't have one hour for yourself, then what.
Speaker 1: Did you do for yourself today?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: In other words, like.
Speaker 3: Today match tomorrow or didn't match yesterday? Like how do
Speaker 3: you you know, how did what did tuesday? What was
Speaker 3: Tuesday different than Wednesday? And it's in that hour sometimes
Speaker 3: when when our daily routine is going to work, you know,
Speaker 3: getting on the same freeway, you know, making those similar
Speaker 3: phone calls and then getting home and having a version
Speaker 3: of the dinner we had before.
Speaker 1: You know what about that day made you remember it?
Speaker 3: You know, in that hour that I would afford myself
Speaker 3: could be in the form of fitness, right which I
Speaker 3: like to work out, listen to loud meal say, can
Speaker 3: really get in the mood and like you know, and
Speaker 3: sing out loud, and you know, it could be a swim,
Speaker 3: it could be a walk, It could be a meditation.
Speaker 1: It could be reading a chapter of your favorite book.
Speaker 1: You know. It could be you know, watching an episode
Speaker 1: of something you know.
Speaker 3: And I think that the idea was that my hour
Speaker 3: day kind of inspire us all to kind of take charge,
Speaker 3: you know, and break the patterns of our daily lives,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: And and find that.
Speaker 3: But do you have something like that? Do you have
Speaker 3: something like a you know, like my hour day? But
Speaker 3: you know what, what do you what do you do
Speaker 3: for yourself when it comes to like I want to
Speaker 3: recenter again, I want to recharge.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: A couple of years ago I went and I took
Speaker 4: an intensive it's called TM Transcendental Meditation course, and it
Speaker 4: was it was a three day course where they teach
Speaker 4: you how to meditate. They give you a mantra, you know,
Speaker 4: and it really helped me in so many different ways.
Speaker 4: It helped me get centered. You know, I think it's
Speaker 4: really normal in our industry for us to get anxious, right,
Speaker 4: you know, for anxiety to be so prevalent in our
Speaker 4: industry and in life, right, that's you know, obviously.
Speaker 2: A byproduct of stress. Right.
Speaker 4: And so I learned how to do that and it
Speaker 4: and it also helped me in my in my acting
Speaker 4: as well. You know, I find I remember one time,
Speaker 4: I think we said this in the other episode, Andy
Speaker 4: Garcia gave me some good advice.
Speaker 2: He said, he said, just stay loose, man, stay loose.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's hard to stay loose, you know, when you're
Speaker 4: when you're tense, when you're stressed, stakes are high, stakes
Speaker 4: are high. Right, you don't know if other people on
Speaker 4: set are disturbing your peace. You know, there's a multitude
Speaker 4: of different elements that could affect that. And thus I
Speaker 4: feel could affect your performance, you know. And I found
Speaker 4: that meditation really helped me get centered, uh and help
Speaker 4: me get focused enough that if any of that tried
Speaker 4: to come into my space, I had the tools to
Speaker 4: be able to deflect from that.
Speaker 2: Uh. And and that and even in my regular life,
Speaker 2: you know, just whatever stresses.
Speaker 4: Or anxieties we're going through it, just a little bit
Speaker 4: of that a few days, a few times a day
Speaker 4: really helps combat that.
Speaker 1: So question.
Speaker 3: So there's so many forms of meditation, and I encourage
Speaker 3: everyone to find their anthem, right, Like, go out there
Speaker 3: and find all different versions of meditation and see which
Speaker 3: one speaks to you, which one centers.
Speaker 1: You in waste that you never thought you could be before.
Speaker 1: But for you, what is that?
Speaker 3: Do you mind talking a little bit about what is
Speaker 3: the version of meditation you do it?
Speaker 4: It's twenty minutes, two times a day. Oh, two times
Speaker 4: a day, two times a day?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is there specifically morning and evening?
Speaker 2: Or I tend to do it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know.
Speaker 4: It's funny because the perception is that if you meditate,
Speaker 4: it makes you sleepy, but it actually gives you some energy,
Speaker 4: And so they encourage you to do it early in
Speaker 4: order for you to take advantage of that energy, right,
Speaker 4: and for you not to do it like right before
Speaker 4: bed because they.
Speaker 2: Think you'd be up.
Speaker 4: So for me, it's a it's a combination of that
Speaker 4: some prayer you know in the mornings, ah, some reading,
Speaker 4: but you know, you have to equip yourself with the
Speaker 4: tools right in whatever you do, whatever it is, whatever
Speaker 4: you're dealing with in your life, right, you always need
Speaker 4: a set of tools.
Speaker 2: That's that's going to help you get through it, right, buddy.
Speaker 1: I mean, what's what's the hour a day for me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: Is it the same every single day or is it?
Speaker 3: Well, it depends because I have forfeited my lunch, which
Speaker 3: used to be my forty five minutes of just like
Speaker 3: shutting it down. Are either closing my eyes or reading
Speaker 3: or whatever I have to do. I have to forfeit
Speaker 3: it to zoom meetings because I have just running out
Speaker 3: of hours of the day to do all my business stuff.
Speaker 3: But I will say my hour day starts really early.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm the guy who gets up at four
Speaker 3: to thirty in the morning. Wow, I'll be in the
Speaker 3: gym at four thirty and that gives me actually a
Speaker 3: good hour and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Even if you get to bed late, you're getting up
Speaker 2: at four in the morning.
Speaker 1: I have to do it, Wow, I have to do it.
Speaker 3: I have to just walk, you know. I walked through
Speaker 3: the kitchen out through the kitchen door. I stepped down.
Speaker 3: I walked towards my gym outside in the open. The
Speaker 3: sky is full of stars, the air is crisp, cold, right,
Speaker 3: the grass is still icy.
Speaker 1: You know that.
Speaker 3: Eventually you make it into you know, the serenity of
Speaker 3: the night, and then you make it into the gym.
Speaker 1: You make it into the.
Speaker 3: Gym, you turn up your music and then you stretch. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, just you and at times, you know, my
Speaker 3: my my trainer at the time, you know, obviously, you know,
Speaker 3: come in and four thirty in the morning, I meet
Speaker 3: me there in the morning.
Speaker 1: We'll do it, you know.
Speaker 3: And there'll be times, well I'll just be there by
Speaker 3: myself four thirty in the morning, just like nothing new.
Speaker 3: You can hear a sound right that time. Occasionally you
Speaker 3: cross a couple of coyotes, you know.
Speaker 1: On your way to the gym.
Speaker 3: But I walk in there and I will stretch, I
Speaker 3: will warm up, and then I will just turn the
Speaker 3: music to something that will make me happy, like I'll
Speaker 3: do some Mark Anthony songs, so you know, I'll do
Speaker 3: like some really lively, loud music and then that would
Speaker 3: put me in that mood and then that that really
Speaker 3: really would help it.
Speaker 1: Puld set up this.
Speaker 3: Tone so then I go from there, you know, take
Speaker 3: a shower, give him the car, and then traffic didn't
Speaker 3: bother me, you know. Then I would just go get
Speaker 3: to the four or five eventually get down to where
Speaker 3: we shoot, uh in Cis and then and then and
Speaker 3: then I'd be I had such a running start, you know,
Speaker 3: a lot of my co stars we just had working
Speaker 3: up rolling running to.
Speaker 1: Said are you already already two and a half hours?
Speaker 1: So up, you know, going? Then I did walk in
Speaker 1: annoyingly optimistic.
Speaker 3: You know, are you Are you a breakfast guy or
Speaker 3: you are you a car I love breakfast. Uh sometimes
Speaker 3: I've had to do programs where I'm animated fasting, you know,
Speaker 3: but some for the most part, I'd like to have
Speaker 3: my breakfast in the morning.
Speaker 1: If you do it before or after the workout, I
Speaker 1: do it after.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I do it after because you know,
Speaker 3: I like to kind of do a little bit a
Speaker 3: fast workout.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm burning more, you know, I'm reaching
Speaker 1: from what's in there, you know. And then.
Speaker 3: You know, and then I'll just have a shake or
Speaker 3: a world to have a breakfast right away and I
Speaker 3: get to work, and you know, and I'll just you
Speaker 3: would have to eat.
Speaker 1: But then once you once you start your start man,
Speaker 1: like you know, you.
Speaker 3: Know how it is once you get to said, you're
Speaker 3: on the all time and just bringing it, you know,
Speaker 3: and each scene could be three pages, you know, hard goores,
Speaker 3: you know. But but that really helps me, you know,
Speaker 3: just kind of getting a Ronnie Star at it. If
Speaker 3: I'm traveling somewhere, when I'm in the plane, I'll find
Speaker 3: a way to just do some You guys can go
Speaker 3: to any of your streaming music devices and go look
Speaker 3: for brown noise brown and that it sounds funny because
Speaker 3: you know you're not brown, but brown noise is like
Speaker 3: this deep, deep, you know sound.
Speaker 1: It's like a wide noise.
Speaker 3: That people used to sleeping sometimes, but the brown noise
Speaker 3: is so deep. It has like this really really basic
Speaker 3: kind of you know structure, and as soon as it
Speaker 3: goes on, it almost feels like the wound of.
Speaker 1: A mother, you know, and you're just.
Speaker 3: Sleeping in there, you know, And like that's one way
Speaker 3: to really turn it off. Once that brown noise explained
Speaker 3: in your heart and your mind, you're not thinking about
Speaker 3: anything else, right, nothing outside, nothing inside your your your
Speaker 3: mind is able to kind of slow it down, you're
Speaker 3: focusing on the sound, and then at that very moment
Speaker 3: you're able to let go a little bit. The tense
Speaker 3: on your shoulders go away, you know, the quick thinking
Speaker 3: slows down, and that really helps. But brown noise is
Speaker 3: an interesting one. Else to sleep with brown noise because
Speaker 3: it's such just so relaxing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's quieting the brain.
Speaker 1: Do you sleep with that noise maker?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's toff.
Speaker 3: I've been to hotel rooms where I'm like, it's too
Speaker 3: quiet in here, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I have to.
Speaker 4: If you go on youtubeb and you and you put
Speaker 4: like thunderstorm black screen, there's like twelve hours worth of
Speaker 4: stuff like that on YouTube.
Speaker 1: You listen to storms. Yeah, that's that's the thing all night.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but with a black screen, so it's just it's
Speaker 4: just the sound of the storm in the back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I need something like that.
Speaker 3: When did you realize that what was that moment? What
Speaker 3: was that thing? Well, what was that experience that made
Speaker 3: you think or made you realize that you really needed to.
Speaker 1: Have this structure of meditation and prayer.
Speaker 2: I you know, I think that.
Speaker 4: You know, going through our business, uh and going through
Speaker 4: the stresses of it. Eventually it starts to get to you.
Speaker 4: You know, it starts to affect you and affect your
Speaker 4: mental health. And you know, when you're young and then
Speaker 4: you're in your twenties, you think you're resilient to everything, right,
Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, you start to get
Speaker 4: older and you start ago, I should probably start doing
Speaker 4: something about this, uh uh. And then and then you know,
Speaker 4: I had, you know, my my pop passed away, and
Speaker 4: you know, had you know, a couple of debts in
Speaker 4: the family, and that really like rocks you you know,
Speaker 4: rocks your core.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 4: And then you start to seek out ways to deal
Speaker 4: with it, you know, especially in our industry, right, it's
Speaker 4: so it's so easy to turn to other things as
Speaker 4: opposed to meditation.
Speaker 2: Or prayer or whatever.
Speaker 4: You know, it's really easy to start diving into the
Speaker 4: substance stuff.
Speaker 2: You know, it's never been my thing, but.
Speaker 3: Sure, you know, but in our professor and it's it's
Speaker 3: a you know, it's it's a tough card. You know,
Speaker 3: being being dealt at that card is is tricky. You know,
Speaker 3: nobody equips you with this industry. In most careers, you
Speaker 3: do the work, you show up, you put in your hours,
Speaker 3: you go home, right, you get paid hourly, you get
Speaker 3: paid you know, a yearly rate whatever.
Speaker 1: Whatever that is.
Speaker 3: But in our profession, and it's it's so much uncertainty.
Speaker 3: You know, when your next job is going to be,
Speaker 3: you know, and if a show ends, you know, like
Speaker 3: you got to get a new one, you're out with
Speaker 3: that is, you know, and you hope it's something that
Speaker 3: can hopefully pay the road for the rest of your career,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: But but it's tough. I mean this, there's some high
Speaker 1: pressures that comes.
Speaker 2: With what we do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it does a number on your nervous system, you know,
Speaker 4: and so you have to really start paying attention to
Speaker 4: those things. And as you get older, you start to
Speaker 4: realize that. You know, when you're younger, you think you're superman.
Speaker 4: You know, you don't pay pay attention to any of
Speaker 4: that stuff, right, But but you know, whether it's that
Speaker 4: or like even therapy, you know, as we continue this
Speaker 4: conversation about Latinos and mental health, you know, therapy is
Speaker 4: something that Latinos and look, and I'm speaking on my
Speaker 4: own behalf, right, Like, I feel like within our culture
Speaker 4: is not really something that's at the forefront or.
Speaker 2: It's talked about or anything like that.
Speaker 1: No, No, we always put a little dirt on it, you.
Speaker 4: Know, have a little dirt on it.
Speaker 3: But before we dive into these multi generational shading of
Speaker 3: the patterns, I want to acknowledge there are you know,
Speaker 3: our thro amigo. Here is you know, Josh, Josh in
Speaker 3: the In the name of you know, having this be
Speaker 3: our our zen moment, we decided that maybe Josh can
Speaker 3: help us.
Speaker 1: With a mocktail.
Speaker 3: A mocktail, you know, yeah, something that can bring our
Speaker 3: senses up to a different level.
Speaker 1: Josh, what do you make for us today? Today?
Speaker 3: We're going to make a mint, tarragon cucumber, just a
Speaker 3: refreshing a small water cooler.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, something to kind of get the.
Speaker 3: Mind right, set the tone that Japanese citrus in there,
Speaker 3: also sudachi.
Speaker 1: Just give it a little little tanginess to it. Very good.
Speaker 1: That sounds great, sounds that wish to meditate that to that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, we should be in the sauna.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's awesome. Can't wait to taste it. But yeah, man, But.
Speaker 3: But speaking of multi generational tools, we've never been I
Speaker 3: don't think I can speak for myself.
Speaker 1: I don't think we've been ever given.
Speaker 3: Tools and how to actually cope, how to actually not
Speaker 3: just cope, but like, how do we how do we process? Yeah,
Speaker 3: how do we process trauma? How do we how do
Speaker 3: we endure it? You know, how do we get through it?
Speaker 3: And then most importantly, how do we set up ourselves
Speaker 3: for success?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Would you agree that that it does something that it's hard?
Speaker 3: You know in our culture somehow that passed to us somehow.
Speaker 4: I just I just think that in our culture, we're
Speaker 4: taught to suppress trauma, suppress feeling, suppress and and keep
Speaker 4: and keep your head down and keep moving forward. Right,
Speaker 4: But when you start to learn as you get older,
Speaker 4: is that you know, it's it's it's like a pressure cooker, right,
Speaker 4: Like you suppress, you suppress. Eventually, it's gonna have to
Speaker 4: come out somewhere, right, It's gonna seep through the hole somehow.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, wow, Okay, even the collar feels like it
Speaker 3: took me to a Japanese garden, thank you?
Speaker 1: Yeah so much? Look at that a salute? Yeah, mint
Speaker 1: on the top there has mint and tarragon and sudachi,
Speaker 1: which is a Japanese citrus cucumber inside of there. Like
Speaker 1: I said, just a small water.
Speaker 2: Oh my, yeah, but that's delicious.
Speaker 1: Oh my josh, this is pretty good. It's is damn good.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Very refreshing.
Speaker 3: Be getting back up on multi generational inheritance. I have
Speaker 3: discover myself, my own life, and through my parents. I
Speaker 3: never saw my dad process a bad day. I never
Speaker 3: saw my mom complain about what it could have been. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they just kept looking ahead.
Speaker 1: They kept driving forward, ignoring the wounds and ignoring.
Speaker 3: The scars that they had from the sacrifices they undeniably
Speaker 3: had to make.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that.
Speaker 3: And you know, specifically for us, who are you know,
Speaker 3: sons who are very aware of the household and what's
Speaker 3: happening and what our responsibility would be. You know, it's
Speaker 3: hard not to be aware of some of the turmoil,
Speaker 3: some of the pain and some of the stress, you know,
Speaker 3: some of the trauma that your mom or your dad
Speaker 3: might be carrying as you become an adult. You know,
Speaker 3: do you feel like, do you ever saw your parents
Speaker 3: like taking a bead or one for a walk or
Speaker 3: like or you know.
Speaker 2: It was just like absolutely not right.
Speaker 4: No, you know I think that that are both of
Speaker 4: our parents came from other places in the United States,
Speaker 4: and and and their their lives sort of the survival mechanism, right,
Speaker 4: And that's part of the survival mechanism.
Speaker 2: It's everything you just said. You just you just.
Speaker 4: Put your head down and you look forward and all
Speaker 4: the stuff you just listed, and you survive. You know,
Speaker 4: you put the blinders on and you survive. However, like
Speaker 4: I was saying earlier, I feel like eventually you're you're
Speaker 4: suppressing all the stuff that you're going through, right, all
Speaker 4: the trauma that you've experienced, and eventually it has to
Speaker 4: come out someway.
Speaker 2: Somehow, and what I don't know, what form, I don't know.
Speaker 4: You know, people sometimes channel that into alcoholism. Sometimes people
Speaker 4: channel that into drugs.
Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes it manifests in projections onto your family and
Speaker 3: through your kids.
Speaker 1: You know, your kids bear you.
Speaker 3: Know, some of that that sadness, that's some of that depression,
Speaker 3: some of that inner you know anger. It's so important
Speaker 3: to you know, for us as we kind of hold
Speaker 3: the baton in this next phase of our generation to
Speaker 3: kind of pass down to the next version of ourselves,
Speaker 3: you know, better tools to figure out that if you're
Speaker 3: going to continue to carry this storch, you know, you
Speaker 3: got to find some outlets. You know, you have to
Speaker 3: let some things go, you know, and look, by all
Speaker 3: means we're not ever advertising here that we're the end masters.
Speaker 3: I mean we have to carry stress we're doing. We're actors, right,
Speaker 3: like actors have to really kind of you know unfortunately,
Speaker 3: you know, good job for job, and you know, even
Speaker 3: though this is our careers and this is what we do,
Speaker 3: their level of inconsistency is not like you get in
Speaker 3: a doctor's office and you can work there for ten years.
Speaker 3: It's just not how it works, right, Like you can
Speaker 3: do a movie this summer, you may not get another
Speaker 3: one until next winter or the following winter.
Speaker 1: A year and a half from that winter.
Speaker 3: You know, you get a TV show nobody saw I
Speaker 3: got canceled three episodes in, you know, and like, so
Speaker 3: there's a lot of uncertainty that's distressful. And then you
Speaker 3: become an adult, right, and then you have a family,
Speaker 3: you have kids, but this is what you do, you're
Speaker 3: an actor, and and you know, so and so I
Speaker 3: reflected on that and then I and I flipped the
Speaker 3: coin and said, wow, our parents did what they could,
Speaker 3: and they did what they had to.
Speaker 1: What would you say to that next generation? What would
Speaker 1: you say to to the next version.
Speaker 3: Of all of us, you know, that says you know,
Speaker 3: all Latinos, you know, you know, when it comes to
Speaker 3: mental health, they just put some.
Speaker 1: Dirt on it, you know, which is what I was
Speaker 1: saying earlier. What would you say to that?
Speaker 2: I think that it's important to.
Speaker 4: Find what that outlet is, to let out whatever it
Speaker 4: is you're suppressing, right, whatever anger, whatever trauma it is
Speaker 4: you're suppressing, because otherwise it will it will come out.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like it's like putting a band aid, right, You're
Speaker 4: going to bleed somewhere, you know, and you don't want
Speaker 4: to be bleeding on your spouse or you know, or
Speaker 4: someone that you really love. And and I feel like
Speaker 4: our culture in particular are not encouraged to do that,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: And I'm not I'm not.
Speaker 4: Sitting here as like an advocate for like therapy for example,
Speaker 4: you know, but like whatever that thing is, you know,
Speaker 4: is it is it?
Speaker 1: Is it prayer?
Speaker 2: Is it meditation? Is it?
Speaker 4: Is it worth waking up at four in the morning
Speaker 4: and putting on brown noise and and working out and
Speaker 4: like whatever that thing is. Because I feel like we're
Speaker 4: not taught that there.
Speaker 2: Should be a thing. It's just put your head down,
Speaker 2: get to work, clock in, clock out, come home, provide
Speaker 2: for your family. You know. It's it's a it's a
Speaker 2: bit of.
Speaker 4: A hamster wheel a little bit right, And I get
Speaker 4: it right, you know, like you said, you get older,
Speaker 4: you have kids, you have a family, You're just trying
Speaker 4: to survive.
Speaker 2: You're just trying to do your things. So I understand. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's also you know, this goes beyond our culture too,
Speaker 1: to your point.
Speaker 3: You know, I mean, there's so many cultures out there
Speaker 3: that have had to you know, keep their head down
Speaker 3: and keep digging, you know, and discourse for anyone. It
Speaker 3: doesn't matter if you're white, if you're black, if you're brown,
Speaker 3: if you Asian. You know, it doesn't matter. You know,
Speaker 3: we all carry certain multi generational burdens, you know that
Speaker 3: that we feel we have to kind of continue to carry.
Speaker 3: And that doesn't mean you ever need to forget what
Speaker 3: and who you are and what it took for you
Speaker 3: to become what you are. It just feels like this
Speaker 3: is a moment where you can allow yourself to love
Speaker 3: yourself a little harder than before. Just love yourself a
Speaker 3: little harder, you know, you need to take a nap.
Speaker 1: Take a nap, right right, simple example.
Speaker 3: It's like, if we can make it obtainable and make
Speaker 3: it attainable, you know, and I think about also, you know,
Speaker 3: our ability to pass down to the next generation the
Speaker 3: tools they need to continue to you know, outlive tyranny,
Speaker 3: you know, to continue to move forward and disrupt and
Speaker 3: and build and in order if we're going to go
Speaker 3: and disrupt and build a new you know, a new marketable,
Speaker 3: equitable place for our culture, you know, we're gonna have
Speaker 3: to take care of some things, you know, because we're
Speaker 3: gonna continue to take some hits on the way.
Speaker 1: There. You talk about you know, projection.
Speaker 3: And it's all real, right, and yeah, I mean that's
Speaker 3: that's that's one of those things. I mean, you're in
Speaker 3: this in this subject in this episode. I you know,
Speaker 3: I I think you and I have lived long enough.
Speaker 1: We have so many incredible people.
Speaker 3: In our lives, but we're also lost so many people
Speaker 3: in our lives to depression, to stress, you know, to
Speaker 3: the complicity of like you know, you know, not meeting
Speaker 3: expectations to yourself or to others, or you know, there's
Speaker 3: just so much about the depression that's just scary, especially
Speaker 3: in the artist community. Man, it's a torture community, you know,
Speaker 3: it's a sad community. It's a broken community.
Speaker 1: That defines light and art, you know. And when art.
Speaker 3: Is isn't diluted or fractured by an industry that's you know,
Speaker 3: that has to make money, you know, it's hard for you.
Speaker 1: To continue to enjoy it, you know.
Speaker 3: And you know, I've lost a lot of friends to
Speaker 3: you know, unfortunate unfortunate suicides, drug addictions.
Speaker 1: You know, And and it's really really scary.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they have no place to direct that that
Speaker 4: whatever it is that's happening inside. You know, did you
Speaker 4: find your parents ever had some place to direct that
Speaker 4: where they could release that.
Speaker 3: My mom never has. She wears it like the baddest
Speaker 3: woman alive.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: There are times when I've seen her crime, you know,
Speaker 3: and and when she cries, she lets some of all
Speaker 3: of that stuff out.
Speaker 1: You can tell. It's like thirty forty years of things
Speaker 1: they just.
Speaker 3: Like come out in one cry and then and then
Speaker 3: she doesn't cry for like another ten years. My mom is,
Speaker 3: at eyesight, the strongest woman've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3: But that doesn't mean she's not putting it together inside
Speaker 3: of her every day, you know, trying to like get it,
Speaker 3: you know, get it to a happier place.
Speaker 2: It doesn't doesn't, you know, doesn't wear it on her sleeve.
Speaker 1: No, she will never know.
Speaker 3: You will never know, right, And you know, I would
Speaker 3: say that my daughter has definitely brought new sunshine into
Speaker 3: her house.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the same thing with my dad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they all, you know, they all have things that
Speaker 3: they just I don't know if they'll ever be able
Speaker 3: to say out loud how they feel, whether they're sad
Speaker 3: or not. And I mean I think my dad in
Speaker 3: his older age, I think he's definitely a lot softer now,
Speaker 3: and you know, he cries a lot easier, you know,
Speaker 3: and he cries of happiness, he cries of you know,
Speaker 3: all these things.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think they have either, you know.
Speaker 3: And I think it's a pattern, right, It's like that's
Speaker 3: a that's the thing, you know, it's a it's a
Speaker 3: it's a pattern that happens in our lives.
Speaker 2: So do you feel that you've broken that pattern?
Speaker 3: I think I have. I'm more conscious, you know. I mean,
Speaker 3: look the way we talk to each other, right, there's
Speaker 3: times when you call me I'm like, hey, I just
Speaker 3: want to make sure right, to make sure that you know,
Speaker 3: you knew kind of how I meant when I send
Speaker 3: you that text, right, Like our parents would never do that.
Speaker 1: They're like take it, to leave it and see whatever
Speaker 1: it comes back. You know.
Speaker 3: But you're so much more aware of the atmosphere than
Speaker 3: the harmony that you create in your life. And like,
Speaker 3: you know, you and I never had an uncomfortable situation.
Speaker 3: We've never had a situation where we're like it has
Speaker 3: to get to like not talking, like why, Like I
Speaker 3: can't even fathom not talking to Freddie, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, Like it doesn't make sense, right, Like, we
Speaker 3: don't we don't have the we don't have the stubbornness
Speaker 3: to say like.
Speaker 1: Oh he calls me, yeah, no, no, I call you first.
Speaker 1: You called me first. If he's quatched whatever, it's gonna call.
Speaker 3: And we've never had to by the way, just for
Speaker 3: the record, we've never had to squatch anything, you know.
Speaker 1: But you've always been an incredibly supportive friend.
Speaker 4: Thank you, brother, Thank you man, and same same, And
Speaker 4: I'm really happy that we're using this platform to to
Speaker 4: talk about this. You have no idea how many times
Speaker 4: I've had the same conversation behind the scenes with people
Speaker 4: who don't don't feel comfortable talking about it, don't feel
Speaker 4: comfortable bringing that subject matter on.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I've you know, I can't begin to tell you how
Speaker 4: many people I've come across, whether people I'm close to
Speaker 4: or not, who are just in so much pain. You know,
Speaker 4: they're just in so much pain, and that pain continues
Speaker 4: to bleed in places where it shouldn't.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: And then when I start, when I begin to have
Speaker 4: these conversations about healing, they look at me like I'm
Speaker 4: crazy sometimes, you know, or like I'm presenting some sort
Speaker 4: of new agey thing, you know. You know, I had
Speaker 4: a friend of mine who's like, oh, man, it's just
Speaker 4: some Hollywood shit, man.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm like, no, dude, it's not Hollywood shit.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 1: It's it's you know, you're going through some stuff.
Speaker 2: And you have to heal from it.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like the concept of having to heal from it
Speaker 4: is like it's foreign, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's very real. It's very real.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, look, I feel happy that we can have a
Speaker 3: platform to just be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: And say, hey, we don't have all the answers here.
Speaker 3: We're not supposed to have all the answers, but we
Speaker 3: at the very least can create a space where we
Speaker 3: can all just say it out loud, you know, just
Speaker 3: say that like we don't have it all together or
Speaker 3: sometimes you know, and and that we're you know, we're
Speaker 3: trying to be strong, and we're trying to be happy
Speaker 3: with where we live and with the few years that we.
Speaker 1: May have left in this earth. You gotta make the
Speaker 1: most of it, you know.
Speaker 3: So you know, for everyone who's listening and everyone who's
Speaker 3: out there at home feeling and you know, and wondering
Speaker 3: if there's anyone out there that would understand or or
Speaker 3: feels the.
Speaker 1: Way you do, You're understood. There is a world, there
Speaker 1: is a place.
Speaker 3: You know, and we share it all together, and you'll
Speaker 3: be surprised how many people out there are willing to
Speaker 3: not just pick up the phone but be there before you.
Speaker 3: So if you're in a dark place and you're going
Speaker 3: to something and this happens to finds you, please know
Speaker 3: that there's hodlines, there's friends, you know, there's family members
Speaker 3: you haven't called, and you're not alone in that feeling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't and don't allow how you've been brought up,
Speaker 4: Dictate the moves that you make.
Speaker 2: In order to get help right.
Speaker 4: You know. I've run into that so many times, you know,
Speaker 4: where people are like, well, that's not how my parents
Speaker 4: did it, that's not how my grandparents did it. Well,
Speaker 4: this is a different time and a different generation, you know.
Speaker 3: And there's nothing more courageous, yeah, than saying how you feel.
Speaker 3: It takes real bravery, a real courage to just speak
Speaker 3: aloud and say I'm not okay. There's no strength in
Speaker 3: like swallowing it. The strength really comes from you taking
Speaker 3: its power by actually invoking it out loud. Once he
Speaker 3: leaves your mouth, he leaves your body. So the more
Speaker 3: you can express it, the faster you can get to healing.
Speaker 3: And anyway, I hope this episode helped you, guys, And
Speaker 3: I want to thank Josh, you know, forgiving us this
Speaker 3: varies and know, drink really delicious drink, and Josh really
Speaker 3: appreciate you.
Speaker 1: Man, appreciate you, guys.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: And this is those Amigos.
Speaker 4: I am Wilmer Valderrama, I am Freddie Rodriguez and we
Speaker 4: are signing off. Dose Amigos is a production from WV
Speaker 4: Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through That podcast network, hosted by Me,
Speaker 4: Freddie Rodriguez and Wilmer Valdorama.
Speaker 3: Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
Speaker 4: Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson
Speaker 4: and Leo Klem at WV Sound.
Speaker 3: This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts
Speaker 3: and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
Speaker 3: Madison Devenport and Helo Boy.
Speaker 4: Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
Speaker 4: by Deny Holtzkall and.
Speaker 3: Thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate
Speaker 3: you guys always listening to Those Amigos.
Speaker 4: The more podcasts from my Heart, visit the ir heart
Speaker 4: Radio app, apple Pot Podcast, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 4: your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: See you next week.
Speaker 4: M