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Speaker 1: So this is Barbie. Barbie and I first got in

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Speaker 1: touch because I was doing a website and I wanted

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Speaker 1: to have a dating expert right on my website and

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Speaker 1: a blog, and so my team got in touch with her,

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Speaker 1: and she wrote a bunch of articles about dating that

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Speaker 1: are not just for high net worth individuals, that are

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Speaker 1: definitely accessible because the principles are the same. And I've

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Speaker 1: read some articles that she's been mentioned in where she

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Speaker 1: says you have to be a full person, like someone

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Speaker 1: that you would want to date to enter into a relationship.

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Speaker 1: So while she is maybe unattainable to many of you,

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Speaker 1: her advice is certainly attainable. Well, I'll tell you my

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Speaker 1: perspective on something and I don't and I believe that

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Speaker 1: you feel the same. Now I think about sex, there

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Speaker 1: are these people that I think are ridiculous and making

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Speaker 1: these like hard and fast rules about sex. And it's

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Speaker 1: the first date, it's the ninth date, it's the commitment dates.

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Speaker 1: And I think that you probably, as I tell my daughter,

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Speaker 1: for the future, you're probably going to keep yourself more

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Speaker 1: open and have a safer insurance policy if you don't

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Speaker 1: immediately have sex with someone because you don't know how

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Speaker 1: that's going to be perceived, and you don't know if

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Speaker 1: the body is going to move faster than the emotions

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Speaker 1: and the connection. But I do think that being overly

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Speaker 1: heightened about that means now you're sort of like a

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Speaker 1: game player, and you're gonna have If you don't know,

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Speaker 1: you should err on the side of not doing it.

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Speaker 1: But I think some mature adults are in a moment

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Speaker 1: and know that both people are adults, and if the

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Speaker 1: other person isn't going to call you because you were

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Speaker 1: intimate with them, it's likely not because you had sex

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Speaker 1: with them. If it's really going they're not gonna be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we were amazing and compatible in every way, but this,

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Speaker 1: you know, forty five year old woman had sex with me,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not gonna call her. I think that's all

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Speaker 1: kind of bullshit. I think that you got to go

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Speaker 1: with the way the waves are coming. My opinion.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy you're bringing this up because I don't

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Speaker 2: think enough people talk about this, and this is so important.

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Speaker 2: It is so old school to think that you have

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Speaker 2: to wait a certain amount of dates for anything. All

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Speaker 2: those rules I think are bullshit. I think the most

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Speaker 2: important thing is you have to know yourself if you

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Speaker 2: sleep with someone when it's early on and if it

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Speaker 2: doesn't go the distance and it's going to put you

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Speaker 2: in pieces and you're just gonna not to be able

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Speaker 2: to recover, then know yourself that you can't handle it,

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Speaker 2: and then know that that's not.

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Speaker 3: Healthy for you.

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Speaker 2: But if you could look at it almost like how

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Speaker 2: men look at it, like it's liberating. Yes, I love myself,

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Speaker 2: I love the way I look. I want to feel good.

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Speaker 2: It was we were in the moment and you went

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Speaker 2: for it all the.

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Speaker 1: Way like exactly, I feel the same way and if

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Speaker 1: the next day. But you can't get in your head

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Speaker 1: and start obsessing that that's the reason they're not calling.

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Speaker 1: They would have not called either way. If it's a connection,

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Speaker 1: it's a connection.

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Speaker 2: And then you have to smile, being like I had

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Speaker 2: that cool experience and it wasn't about him.

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Speaker 3: It was about me. That was not about him.

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Speaker 2: And I agree with you. Someone's not gonna call you

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Speaker 2: one way or another the others. But what you have

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Speaker 2: to be careful about is that you're not making a

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Speaker 2: habit where then it gets around or then you're ruining

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Speaker 2: gravitation and something like that. But if you have the

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Speaker 2: ability to differentiate emotions and physical connection and something that

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Speaker 2: you want to go for. I think it's like that

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Speaker 2: just shows that you are happy with yourself. You're not

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Speaker 2: going to judge yourself if you're called or not called,

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Speaker 2: because again, you're in the driver's of your life.

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Speaker 3: You're the main character. If you want to do it,

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Speaker 3: go for it.

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Speaker 1: But you can also decide, I'm not sleeping with this

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Speaker 1: person unless I'm certain they're going to call me tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Like if you can feel that, you know that you're safe,

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Speaker 1: and also that you can handle the emotion, because there

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Speaker 1: are there is oxytocin, you are going to feel emotional

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Speaker 1: and you may not be able to handle that connection

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Speaker 1: you had and then not speaking to them. So to

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Speaker 1: your point, you have to just be driving whatever that is.

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Speaker 1: And if you're in a vulnerable position emotionally, it might

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Speaker 1: not be the right move. But for those reasons you.

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Speaker 3: Might decide, holy shit, I really like this guy.

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Speaker 2: I want to make it special, like I'm over just

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Speaker 2: having sex like I to me, it no longer feels good,

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Speaker 2: like it feels hollow. I really want to do it

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Speaker 2: when it matters. And you could say to that guy, Okay,

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Speaker 2: take this as a compliment. I really like you, and

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Speaker 2: I do want to wait, but know that it's gonna

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Speaker 2: be really good when we have it.

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Speaker 3: But just hang in there because I really wanted to

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Speaker 3: be something special.

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Speaker 1: And you can also be funny. I've once said to

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Speaker 1: someone ful funny. I've once said I'm not sleeping with you,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, don't worry. You think that's all I wanted.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about myself.

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Speaker 1: I need to sign a contract right now that i'm

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Speaker 1: legally You know, you can be funny about it to

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Speaker 1: the persons you want a funny yes exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's like you don't want to make it weird and

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Speaker 2: then it gets awkward, and then they're going to be

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Speaker 2: with you. To your point because you don't know how

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Speaker 2: to communicate and you made things weird. It has to

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Speaker 2: be like, don't do that to yourself, Like don't shut down.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, it's beautiful to want to be

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Speaker 1: alone too. That's a decision I am going to make,

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Speaker 1: Like if I don't end up meeting someone who's additive

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Speaker 1: and a great partner, I'm not going to settle for

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Speaker 1: something that's not good. I would rather be alone. I'd

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Speaker 1: rather not eat than eat something bad.

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Speaker 2: You only want to do it if it's additive, Otherwise

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Speaker 2: it's the quickest way to divorce. Attorney in your phone.

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Speaker 2: It's you don't want to lie to yourself. This is

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Speaker 2: your your life. You're the main character, and you have

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Speaker 2: to make sure that you're honoring what you need and

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Speaker 2: you'll be so much happier meeting the right person. And

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Speaker 2: it's okay to be alone. You don't need to all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden go from relationship relationship. A lot of

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Speaker 2: times when people do that, they're not taking stock and

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Speaker 2: what didn't work and what they need moving forward.

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Speaker 3: They're just rushing from relationship relationship. We all know people

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Speaker 3: who have done that.

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Speaker 2: We've I've done that, and it's not healthy until you

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Speaker 2: realize when you get older, like I didn't even take

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Speaker 2: stock and what didn't work. I just ran into And

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Speaker 2: sometimes you go into the wrong person's arms because your

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Speaker 2: counterbalance car didn't work. Yes, and then you just don't

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Speaker 2: want to be alone or everyone it's a couple culture, right,

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Speaker 2: so everyone has a couple, and you want to go

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Speaker 2: with all your girlfriends that are going out with couples

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Speaker 2: and it, but like take stock and realizing, I mean,

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Speaker 2: by the time, what I was still single. Half my

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Speaker 2: friends that were married were divorced, and I was didn't

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Speaker 2: even get married. It's like you have to realize everyone

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Speaker 2: is going to have their turn. It's not a contest,

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Speaker 2: and sometimes the best decision is not making a move

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Speaker 2: and staying single and having so much fun, Like there's

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Speaker 2: so much things you could do when you're not in

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Speaker 2: a relationship and honoring that era too. It's just it's

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Speaker 2: like around just realizing like your declare independence and that

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Speaker 2: this is you time, and whether that's self care, with

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Speaker 2: your health, with your relationship, with your body, with your mind,

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Speaker 2: Like if you think about mental health, people don't realize

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Speaker 2: that the serious nature of that. If you physically have

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Speaker 2: a cut on your arm, you're not going to continue

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Speaker 2: to make the cut deeper. You know that that's like insanity,

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Speaker 2: Why no one would ever do that. But we treat

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Speaker 2: ourselves with such abuse of our with the programming in

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Speaker 2: our minds. We're saying to herself that it is like

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Speaker 2: deepening the cut in your arm, and it's real pain,

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Speaker 2: and people aren't taking the time.

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Speaker 3: To heal and realizing they have to do. You have

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Speaker 3: to be kind to yourself.

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Speaker 1: So we were talking about being alone, and I think

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Speaker 1: when someone is alone but from an angry place to

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Speaker 1: the point of what we were talking about, people can

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Speaker 1: smell that. I think I have found this in my

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Speaker 1: life right now, I have had more of It's like

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Speaker 1: it's like how women gravitate towards the married men, me

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Speaker 1: being emotionally not unavailable, but just saying I want to

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Speaker 1: be alone right now, I'm happy alone, choosing to be alone,

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Speaker 1: which is why this post that I did went viral

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Speaker 1: because I said, society makes it like, oh, it's okay

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Speaker 1: to be alone, like as if you're some like pet

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Speaker 1: instead of like all the women that I speak to

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Speaker 1: in my comments who are like I want to be

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Speaker 1: alone and not from an angry place like I like it.

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Speaker 1: And maybe you meet if someone unexpectedly, like a person

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Speaker 1: who stops trying to get pregnant gets pregnant, and maybe

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Speaker 1: you don't. But I think that it's attractive to be

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Speaker 1: confident and to be standing in your own two feet

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Speaker 1: in being alone, not being alone as some consolation prize.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's what our society has gotten right, is

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Speaker 2: that it's a choice, and it actually could be the

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Speaker 2: best thing you've done for yourself and highly attractive to

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Speaker 2: put yourself firsts enjoy that time too, and it's okay

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Speaker 2: to not want to be with anybody. Like couplehood is

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Speaker 2: not for everybody, just like having kids is not for everybody.

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Speaker 3: I'm a stepmom.

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Speaker 2: I don't have my own kids, but you could get

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Speaker 2: fulfillment and nurturing and make family so many different ways.

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Speaker 3: It's just a modernized approach.

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Speaker 2: So whether we're talking about sex or relationships, or when

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Speaker 2: you opt in or out, I think the biggest thing

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Speaker 2: is that it's liberating that it's your choice and it's

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Speaker 2: no one else's choice, And don't listen to the peanut

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Speaker 2: gallery of everyone trying to push you along of what

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Speaker 2: they want for you. It's you have to sign the

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Speaker 2: noise and realize what do I want for my life?

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Speaker 2: You only have a finite period of time.

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Speaker 1: Okay to that point. So this is where it's it's interesting,

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Speaker 1: and it happens a lot on the apps. To that point,

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Speaker 1: we have to be very strict. We have to be selective.

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Speaker 1: The name of your company is Selective Search, and we

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Speaker 1: are going We're not going into the mall wandering around

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Speaker 1: where we don't know we're gonna buy. We come home

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Speaker 1: with a bunch of crap. We're going and knowing what

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Speaker 1: we want. But sometimes along the way you see something

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Speaker 1: you didn't think you wanted. And how do you ride

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Speaker 1: that line? Like how do you know you said you

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Speaker 1: didn't want a guy like this, but he looks interesting?

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Speaker 1: Is it like wants and needs? Like you would want

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Speaker 1: someone who was Jewish, But if it's not a die

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Speaker 1: hard need for you, then you could go out if

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Speaker 1: someone was interesting, Like you set some guidelines for yourself,

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Speaker 1: but how do you know which ones are strict and

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Speaker 1: which you should to say? All right, I'm gonna try that,

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Speaker 1: because then you end up getting discouraged by going on

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Speaker 1: bad dates. Like that's bad too. What you start to date,

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Speaker 1: you gotta be careful because if you go on bad dates,

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Speaker 1: you hate the whole thing and you miss your x's

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Speaker 1: for example, and.

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Speaker 2: Then that's the quickest way to make bad mistakes of

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Speaker 2: going backwards, yes, both with that person or you know

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Speaker 2: emotional like a breakdown or setback. The biggest thing is

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Speaker 2: you have to be intentional. Write it down, whether you

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Speaker 2: get a note bad or it's at your notes of

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Speaker 2: your phone. You have to write down, Okay, what are

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Speaker 2: the most important things that I'm not unapologetically going to

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Speaker 2: settle for, Like this is my list of non negotiables.

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Speaker 2: And that should be more about character traits. It shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be as much about the physical look of somebody. It

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Speaker 2: should be more about lifestyle, whether it's family planning, It's

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Speaker 2: about how you spend your time.

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Speaker 3: Is it days active, days, nights out?

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Speaker 1: Like height and age can move. But if someone has

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Speaker 1: young children, maybe because.

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Speaker 2: That depending on like if you want depending on what

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Speaker 2: you know, Like if you know that you want to

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Speaker 2: have kids, why you dating a man that's telling you

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Speaker 2: I don't want to have more kids. Or if they

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Speaker 2: say I don't know, maybe you're the pregnant or not pregnant.

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Speaker 2: If they're not clear on it, they're going to be Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: you're going to be wasting time with someone that isn't

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Speaker 2: the right person for you.

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Speaker 3: So you have to get real clear on what you

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Speaker 3: want out of life. And it should be fun.

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Speaker 2: It's like you are the architect of your own life

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Speaker 2: and you have to geek out on Okay, I'm now

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Speaker 2: post college, what do I want? And it's the same

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Speaker 2: thing about your When you're being a strategic a plan

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Speaker 2: about your professional life, it's now thinking. And this is

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Speaker 2: the part that no one teaches us of, like taking

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Speaker 2: the time to be strategic planning about your personal life.

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Speaker 3: Nobody does that.

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Speaker 1: No, because it is a business and people treat it

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Speaker 1: the way that someone just gets into a relationship with

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Speaker 1: the first guy that likes them. That's like investing in

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Speaker 1: the first business I saw in Shark Tank, which was

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Speaker 1: shit like or me, just like, you got to take

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Speaker 1: it seriously because it's your bandwidth and your time. So

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Speaker 1: if I spend time on a ship business, I can't

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Speaker 1: spend time on a good business. If I spend time

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Speaker 1: on garbage online, I'm not spending time with my kid. Like,

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Speaker 1: you have to be invested in this process if you're

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Speaker 1: going to do it, unless you want to just sleep around.

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Speaker 1: And you also have to two things I want to say.

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Speaker 1: You have to deep, deep dive research, like you have

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Speaker 1: to be an invested because people are scumbags. And I

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Speaker 1: really do want to say that. I know Barbie's gonna agree.

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Speaker 1: There are so many amazing men out there, and women

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Speaker 1: always want to say men suck and there are no

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Speaker 1: good men because they've had a bad experience because I

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Speaker 1: haven't done this the first time around.

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Speaker 3: Again, shameless plug.

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Speaker 2: But like I represent so many amazing like where the

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Speaker 2: good guys put mine eligible bachelors. They're my clients that

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Speaker 2: are ready to meet their person and it does. And

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Speaker 2: that's why I was so bummed that the Golden Bachelor

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Speaker 2: didn't pan out in real life, because I create people

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Speaker 2: happy love that go the distance and do have that

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Speaker 2: happy ending for them, that want to be in a partnership.

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Speaker 2: And I do think it's an important message to realize

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Speaker 2: there's so many amazing women out there, and there's so

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Speaker 2: many amazing guys out there.

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Speaker 1: But if you're going towards TV Barbie, they're not going

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Speaker 1: to be good. That's why I'm sure I'd be offered

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Speaker 1: a ten thousand of those shows, but I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to meet the kind of men that I would want

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Speaker 1: to meet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, And they should have had someone like me go

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Speaker 2: and vet them because for that reason it didn't work out,

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Speaker 2: because they who knows what it is, but it is

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Speaker 2: for your said, It is all scripted.

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Speaker 1: None of the men that you would ever said me

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Speaker 1: up with whatever go on the Golden bed. That's the point.

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Speaker 1: So that's the point.

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Speaker 2: But the point is like to realize that because we

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Speaker 2: never learned this, it's important to understand the message that

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Speaker 2: you have to do your homework. You have to silence everything,

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Speaker 2: create your strategic plan of what you want, and then

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Speaker 2: realize you need to have a little bit of wiggle room, like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I want six feet, but if the right guy that's

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Speaker 2: five nine, that comes wrong and he's the most amazing guy,

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Speaker 2: don't take yourself out of the running of that, Like

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Speaker 2: what if he makes you so happy?

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Speaker 3: I used to be a highist.

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Speaker 2: All my boyfriend's were over six feet. I'm married's the

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Speaker 2: most amazing man ever, he's five nine and a half.

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Speaker 1: Oh interesting, I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: When I'm with him, I feel like a supermodel, and

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Speaker 2: when he were out, he feels like he's with a supermodel.

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Speaker 2: It's like, Thank goodness, I evolved and I do this

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Speaker 2: for a living, so I was able to help myself.

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Speaker 3: Like that doesn't matter. That was unuseful.

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Speaker 2: That was that was setting me back in terms of

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Speaker 2: my search because I was putting limitations on that were

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Speaker 2: superficial and not making me half.

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Speaker 1: But you're saying you've just said that you're treating this

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Speaker 1: like a dating business plan. But in business, you get

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Speaker 1: on the road and you think it's going to cost

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of money and you make certain plans.

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Speaker 1: But we plan in God Left. You have a structure

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Speaker 1: when you create a business plan, but ultimately you have

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Speaker 1: to be able to move with the tides and roll

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Speaker 1: with the punches because things will change in life and

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Speaker 1: business and in dating.

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Speaker 3: And you also feel like you realize what's sexy.

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Speaker 2: Yes, a good looking man, there's someone that's sexy to you,

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Speaker 2: of course, but sexy could be someone that does what

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Speaker 2: they say they're going to do, a man with a plan,

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Speaker 2: or someone that takes an account how you feel and

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Speaker 2: supports you or like helps you with the dishes. It

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Speaker 2: could be something like as mundane as that, but there's

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Speaker 2: other ways that are the highly attractive. Is is this

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Speaker 2: the guy that's going to help get up with you

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Speaker 2: in the middle of the night to help.

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Speaker 3: With your baby. It's like, you don't want the.

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Speaker 2: Selfish guy that's not part in matial either. So that's

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Speaker 2: why I feel like people don't want to be alone.

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Speaker 2: They're pushed through society and they just stay in a

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Speaker 2: relationship because they're afraid to be alone or they don't know.

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Speaker 3: How it's going to get any better. And that's why

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Speaker 3: I'm here to.

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Speaker 2: Say, don't do that, because settling is the quickest way

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Speaker 2: that you're going to be having a broken heart.

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Speaker 1: No, and you're saying that you'd rather be with someone

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Speaker 1: who's five to nine and a half and settle on

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Speaker 1: the six feet, but not the getting up in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night with the baby.

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Speaker 3: Totally. Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I want the guy that when I look like shit

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Speaker 2: and I at my worst, still loves me and things

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Speaker 2: that you know, I'm the most beautiful thing, and I

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Speaker 2: don't have to have that pressure of all of this

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Speaker 2: of being perfect, because there's no such thing as perfect,

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Speaker 2: but you're perfect together.

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Speaker 1: So be flexible in certain areas, but very strict in

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Speaker 1: other areas. That's what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also realize that, Okay, if there's a really

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Speaker 2: good guy in front of you, but maybe he's not

356
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Speaker 2: your type, obviously that didn't get you where you want

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Speaker 2: to be, and that's an unhealthy pattern that you need

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Speaker 2: to break.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe this is forget yours type.

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Speaker 2: Like that didn't work for you. That's an unhealthy pattern,

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Speaker 2: and it's like you just have to run around race

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Speaker 2: and feel confident that it might not be what someone

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Speaker 2: else wanted for you. But if this guy makes you happy,

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Speaker 2: just be strong in your conviction that, like I'm happy.

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Speaker 1: So when you're on the apps, ladies and gentlemen, Barbie

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Speaker 1: is effectively saying, which I think is true because in

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Speaker 1: her deep die, when she talks to someone, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like she figures out about their past. So when you're

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Speaker 1: in your apps before that, think about your past and

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Speaker 1: don't go down the same rabbit holes. Like you know,

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Speaker 1: we go in the store, we buy the same lip glass,

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Speaker 1: we have the same color. You just get attracted to

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Speaker 1: the same thing. But you come home and you're like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I already had that. And it's funny you say that

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Speaker 1: because a friend of mine said to me, my friend

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Speaker 1: Louis Lazanaro, I would never expect the greatest quote of

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Speaker 1: my life to come from Louis Lazanaro. Not that I

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Speaker 1: don't love Louis. He said to me, you always go

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Speaker 1: for the same guy in like a different pack, Like

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Speaker 1: it's the same guy over and over. That's what he sees.

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Speaker 1: He sees me as yes, there can be some outlier

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Speaker 1: bad situations, but he thinks that I go for a

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Speaker 1: similar guy. And he said to me, rock stars need

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Speaker 1: rock stars. That's what he said he was seeing. And

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Speaker 1: it was interesting because I think when you start dating you,

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Speaker 1: even on the apps, you have to go back and

387
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Speaker 1: look at what your ex looks like, not physically, but

388
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Speaker 1: like what the issues were, what went wrong, and not

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Speaker 1: recreate those patterns and what went right.

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Speaker 2: And the other thing is is like, Okay, maybe one

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Speaker 2: picture this person looks dorky, but sometimes it's nice to

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Speaker 2: have like a gem that's like a diamond in the

393
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Speaker 2: rough that you just have to polish off a little bit.

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Speaker 2: And he's like the best gem out there. Like, don't

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Speaker 2: go for the most shiny object on the app or care.

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Speaker 1: What other people would think, because you have to live

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Speaker 1: your own life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like if you like the pedigree of like he's

399
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Speaker 2: solid and you like what he wrote about himself, like

400
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Speaker 2: take a risk and like go out with someone that

401
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 2: you maybe would never go out with, like be on

402
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Speaker 2: an adventure. That way, you've got nothing to lose and

403
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Speaker 2: everything to gain by evolving your taste. It's almost like

404
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,840
Speaker 2: when you're a kid, you like chicken chicken nuggets, right,

405
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,640
Speaker 2: but when you're older, you realize that you like broccoli

406
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Speaker 2: and you like healthy things, and all of a sudden,

407
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Speaker 2: you have a different palette for things that are good

408
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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 1: Yes for healthy.

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Speaker 2: So I always say good bar, oh my gosh every

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Speaker 2: once in a while. So I always say, like, you

412
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Speaker 2: think that like a bad boy is like a tracted

413
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Speaker 2: to you, But that's like eating a hot fudge Sunday

414
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Speaker 2: and thinking that's going to make you feel good afterwards.

415
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Speaker 2: But what makes you feel good is maybe it's like

416
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Speaker 2: the healthy choice that that's the good guy. So you

417
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Speaker 2: want nice do that with your own love life and

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Speaker 2: realize people that make you upset, people that try to

419
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Speaker 2: keep you in a box, or that don't allow you

420
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Speaker 2: to be yourself, that's not a healthy relationship dynamic. That's

421
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: going to get old quickly and it's going to make

422
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 2: you feel even worse about yourself. You want to be

423
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Speaker 2: with someone that you could be yourself and that you

424
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Speaker 2: don't do perfect with and you could evolve together, and

425
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: that's that's the healthy relationship. So when you're looking back

426
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 2: at your relationships, make sure you're looking at what worked,

427
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Speaker 2: what didn't work, and what doesn't serve me. Maybe it

428
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 2: serves you well in your twenties and thirties, but in forties.

429
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Speaker 2: But if you haven't daated in a few decades, it's

430
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,640
Speaker 2: a it's a different marketplace. As explain to people, if

431
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 2: you haven't bought a house in thirty years, you have

432
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: to realize that dating, you're not the same version of

433
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 2: yourself in thirty years. So you have to realize that

434
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,679
Speaker 2: you have to recalibrate in terms of what matters most.

435
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 2: And it's maybe not looks anymore, and now it's about

436
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 2: personality and lifestyle and compatibility and you have chemistry. I'm

437
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: not saying ever settle on chemistry together compatibility, but it

438
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: could be a slow burn.

439
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 1: No, you fall in love with the house when you

440
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 1: go in. You have to fall in love with the house,

441
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 1: and then you have to make sure it works for

442
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,199
Speaker 1: you and has what you need.

443
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 2: But maybe it's a slow burn. It doesn't have to

444
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 2: be a chemistry where date one, you know. I mean

445
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 2: I just talked to a client and it was a

446
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,679
Speaker 2: slow burn. And now she's like, he is so sexy,

447
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 2: we have the best sex.

448
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: That does happen, and that does happen, and you.

449
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 3: Got to give it some time. It's like a fine wine,

450
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,160
Speaker 3: you gotta let it open up and breathe.

451
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 1: And also where both people are in their lives. First

452
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 1: of all, you can't make a dog a cat. If

453
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 1: you find out that you want a cat and you

454
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: have a dog in front of you, you can't make

455
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 1: a dog a cat, and you will know quickly. You

456
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 1: constantly telling your friend, wait, the way this person is

457
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 1: texting is weird. The way they don't call it is weird,

458
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 1: and you tell them four times and it's still the same.

459
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 1: You can't make a dog a cat. Or they're obsessed

460
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: with their parents or whatever that is. But number two,

461
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: where are they in their life? What are they going through? Like,

462
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,679
Speaker 1: timing is critical because if you are going through something negative,

463
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: even if you force yourself because there's somebody good in

464
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 1: front of you, Same thing with buying a house, like

465
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 1: you could love it, but it might not be the

466
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 1: right timing for you financially, and then you're gonna stretch

467
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 1: yourself and you're gonna get stressed out and it's gonna

468
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: be bad. Same thing with relationships. The timing has to

469
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 1: line up and someone has to be where they can.

470
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to be business partners with someone who

471
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,920
Speaker 1: can't commit to what I can commit to, I'd rather

472
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 1: not work with them, even if they have a great idea,

473
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: business whatever. I want someone who can meet me where

474
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 1: I'm at. And if someone's not in a place where

475
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 1: they can be a good partner and they want what

476
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: you want, you gotta you know they might have thought

477
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 1: they might have thought they could. By the way, sometimes

478
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: people want to just date and get on the board,

479
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: and they might they want just add a girlfriend, and

480
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way.

481
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 2: I think it's like you have to really it's just

482
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 2: like business how you have to be headsmart. And that's

483
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 2: why a lot of times businesses that want to merge

484
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 2: the deals off and doesn't happen. You have to do

485
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 2: that for your own personal life and create it more

486
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 2: like a business, to be unapologetic about what you need

487
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 2: and what's going to be healthy for you long term.

488
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 1: This is my honest truth. I could go on for

489
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: two and a half hours, I could go on for

490
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 1: ten hours and talk to Barbie. So I just want

491
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 1: you guys to know that. I want you guys to

492
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,719
Speaker 1: send in questions, but I'll have Barbie. I'll have questions

493
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: for Barbie. But I would love to get into all

494
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 1: of this, from sex to money, to age to you know,

495
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: uncomfortable conversations, to gender to power struggles to divorce to

496
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 1: all of this. So we will have Barbie back because

497
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 1: I know you have a thousand questions for her, as

498
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 1: do I. I'm really glad that she's been here, Barbie.

499
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful because I literally wasn't expecting this to

500
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,239
Speaker 1: be like this and to be so many pockets. This

501
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 1: is a major topic. So matchmaking is a huge topic.

502
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,120
Speaker 1: Dating is a huge topic. You're a huge topic.

503
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 3: I love it.

504
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 2: I'm all about it, and I think it's so needed

505
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 2: because there's no one out there that's really teaching people

506
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 2: how to focus on enriching their own personal lives. And

507
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 2: nothing matters more than your love life and your personal life.

508
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 2: So I'm so happy that you're covering all this for

509
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 2: everyone