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Speaker 1: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

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Speaker 2: Relationships and what it's like to be siblings.

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Speaker 3: We are a sibling, Railvalry, No, no, sibling.

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Speaker 1: You don't do that with your mouth, Vely. That's good.

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Speaker 4: So this episode is Kristah Bilton and Evan.

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Speaker 2: And this was really incredible.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god.

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Speaker 6: I was so excited to have some went on that

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Speaker 6: has had this experience of like.

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Speaker 7: You know, I know sperm donors having a thirty five

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Speaker 7: plus fifty plus siblings out there that they're they're just

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Speaker 7: they're continuously learning.

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Speaker 2: About and connecting.

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Speaker 6: So what what what are what everybody's about to hear?

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Speaker 6: Is one of many stories which I kind of want

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Speaker 6: to get more of these people on, but of siblings

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Speaker 6: that found out late when they were adults that they

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Speaker 6: had like.

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Speaker 4: Five thousand siblings. There's like thirty eight of them or something.

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Speaker 2: Like there's thirty five thirty five in counting. Actually that's

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Speaker 2: the name of the book she wrote. It's called Normal.

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Speaker 3: Family on Truth, Love and How I Met my thirty

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Speaker 3: five siblings.

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Speaker 5: That's right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, So they shared their wild story with us with

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Speaker 6: us which we're not going to ruin.

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Speaker 1: So listen to this episode and yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's it's it's awesome.

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Speaker 3: I mean you get we get to like nature versus nurture,

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Speaker 3: you know, because there's a similarity, a through line, a thread.

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Speaker 8: Well, and forgive this because a lot of these parents

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Speaker 8: didn't tell their kids that they're like sperm donors.

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Speaker 5: No, I know.

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Speaker 3: And the crazy the sperm donor, which you will listen to.

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Speaker 2: I mean, what a wild guy.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, had them.

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Speaker 1: Sexyzpil it doil it?

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Speaker 6: I forget it all Right, here is Krista Bilton and Evan.

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Speaker 9: Hi, how are you so happy to be here?

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Speaker 1: How's it going?

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Speaker 10: We're so excited about this crazy story.

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 4: It's a crazy story.

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Speaker 10: So what's so crazy is you guys? Actually you look alike.

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Speaker 10: I mean you're you're related your siblings. You look alike.

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Speaker 10: But you didn't know each other until you were howled.

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Speaker 5: I guess I was thirty two and you were thirty.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm thirty eight, so thirty six. Yeah, we've known

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Speaker 4: each other for what two years?

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Speaker 5: A little child?

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Speaker 3: Well let's let's yeah, we gotta we gotta yeah, because

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Speaker 3: the context Chrystal Sary.

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Speaker 10: Let's start Crystal, Let's start with you. Because you wrote,

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Speaker 10: you wrote the book, it came out.

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Speaker 1: It came out this.

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Speaker 2: Summer, right now, Evan Hockame, you didn't write the book.

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Speaker 1: Don't put them on the spot.

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Speaker 2: Oliver, you got to write a rival book next year.

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Speaker 5: This is only I think different tale or roxy people. Right.

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Speaker 1: Well, oh god, I don't even know where to start.

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Speaker 1: This is like still from the beginning.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so from the beginning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why don't you do that?

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Speaker 10: Why don't you start from the very beginning of how

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Speaker 10: you grew up?

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Speaker 4: Okay, so so I guess you.

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Speaker 9: So in the early eighties, my mom was Lesbie in

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Speaker 9: who really wanted to start a family but didn't know

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Speaker 9: anyone else sort of in her community who had had kids.

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Speaker 9: So she was and this was just in the beginning

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Speaker 9: of sperm banks, and you know, you know, just she

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Speaker 9: was pretty much in the closet except with the people

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Speaker 9: that knew, et cetera, et cetera. So she she went

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Speaker 9: through this comical manhunt that I document in the book,

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Speaker 9: and ultimately, my very handsome father walked into a hair

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Speaker 9: salon on Beverly Hills and she looked at him and

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Speaker 9: she said, Oh, that that's him, that's going to be

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Speaker 9: the father of my children. And she took him out

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Speaker 9: to lunch and offered him a couple thousand dollars to

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Speaker 9: uh to give her sperm so that she could then

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Speaker 9: have me with a turkey baster.

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Speaker 2: Like actual turkey based.

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Speaker 9: So I was actually conceived with an actual market bought her.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy, because that is sort of the cliche joke,

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Speaker 3: like he's gonna get turkey basted, but you actually.

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Speaker 4: Got literal actually wow.

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Speaker 9: And so but then so, but as my mother was

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Speaker 9: conceiving me, she wanted to ensure that he had no

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Speaker 9: STDs that he might pass on, so she took him

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Speaker 9: to a tiny little place that was just starting up

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Speaker 9: called the California Cryobank, which would ultimately go on to

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Speaker 9: become one of the two largest sperm banks in the world.

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Speaker 9: And while he was there getting his blood drawn for

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Speaker 9: this woman who had paid him to do this, he

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Speaker 9: saw a lineup of men and was like, who are they,

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Speaker 9: and the nurse taking the blood was like, oh, those

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Speaker 9: are our donors, and he realized that this was a

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Speaker 9: way he could make a living. So my mom, seeing

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Speaker 9: this questioning, made him swear he would never do this

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Speaker 9: for anyone else, this stranger she had just met in

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Speaker 9: the hair salon, and he swore he wouldn't. And she

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Speaker 9: went on to turn him into a dad figure after

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Speaker 9: I was born, because she felt guilty that I didn't

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Speaker 9: have a dad.

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Speaker 4: So he was sort of a.

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Speaker 1: Pay How does someone convince someone to be a dad figure?

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to well paid.

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Speaker 5: She paid him.

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Speaker 9: I didn't realize how literal that was until when I

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Speaker 9: was actually reporting out the book. But it turns out

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Speaker 9: it was literally like he'd come for a birthday party.

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Speaker 4: Here's one hundred bucks, one hundred dollars.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, and I think, you know, and he was some

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Speaker 9: context I should give, is that my dad?

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Speaker 4: So he he was this very handsome sort of hippie.

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Speaker 9: Who then had a hard time and so he at

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Speaker 9: that time was like, you know, in addition to having me,

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Speaker 9: and then you know, he was doing stripograms and he

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Speaker 9: was a chippendale dancer, and then later on would you know,

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Speaker 9: a playgirl model, and then you know sleep, you know,

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Speaker 9: living from a house to house of friends and ultimately

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Speaker 9: would become homeless and have some like hard mental health challenges.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 4: He does not identify as homeless, we should ask okay,

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Speaker 4: we would identify.

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Speaker 9: That, okay, But anyways, so, so he secretly starts giving

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Speaker 9: sperm a couple times a week for a decade.

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Speaker 4: Wow, without my mom knowing.

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Speaker 9: And so in my mid twenties, this big secret comes

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Speaker 9: out that we potentially have anywhere from several dozen to

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Speaker 9: hunks possible one hundreds.

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Speaker 5: I mean it was sold something like I think they

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Speaker 5: said like over five hundred times.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well you he donated five hundred times over in excess.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, whoa how much does how much do

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Speaker 3: you get per pop?

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Speaker 2: No, Oliver, I mean.

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Speaker 3: I just got I just got killed off my show.

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Speaker 5: I think only a hundred bucks. I can only come

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Speaker 5: a hundred bucks per pop. H But he was an admand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 9: Well, and also each time you donate, it's multiple vials

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Speaker 9: they can create out of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that is oh my gosh. So you know.

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Speaker 1: Of thirty five siblings.

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Speaker 4: Now we're in the low forties.

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Speaker 5: Low forties now, yeah, it's low forties.

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Speaker 9: It's an ever increasing like he was a late member

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Speaker 9: to the group.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I was like thirty seven or thirty eight. And

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Speaker 5: we've added some sense that and.

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Speaker 9: How did you guys find each other because of the

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Speaker 9: uptick and ancestry testing DNA testing, it's now just random

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Speaker 9: because you have to understand that like in the eighties

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Speaker 9: and early nineties when this was happening, it was a

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Speaker 9: lot of heterosexual couples where there was infertility when they

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Speaker 9: would come and they were routinely advised not to tell

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Speaker 9: their children that they were a product of a sperm donor.

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Speaker 9: So when people find out, the great majority just grew

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Speaker 9: up knowing their mom and dad as their biological parents,

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Speaker 9: and it's only by accidentally taking one of these tests

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Speaker 9: that they realized that they had a sperm donor.

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Speaker 5: There's an interesting seasonality to it too, So whenever Ancestry

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Speaker 5: or twenty three meet does a sale, you know, about

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Speaker 5: three months later, there's usually uptick then in the siblings

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Speaker 5: that'll come up on there. I'm a case in point,

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Speaker 5: but literally it's like, literally about beginning of February each

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Speaker 5: year we add another two, three, four people.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I just recently looked at my my DNA and

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Speaker 10: it says I have like fifteen hundred relatives.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, those things pop up and I just immediately erase them.

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Speaker 2: They're just crazy.

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Speaker 3: It literally gives me anxiety. You have eight thousand new cousins,

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Speaker 3: and like I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, who's this person in my new siblings?

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Speaker 3: Siblings? I mean, but what a cool journey then to

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Speaker 3: go on? You know, it's this it's like forever unraveling secret,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 10: When you realize that there might be multiple like where

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Speaker 10: was your mother's place in it?

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Speaker 1: Where is your mother?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 9: My mother lives up the street and we're very close

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Speaker 9: and she sort of plays the role of grandma to

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Speaker 9: my two kids.

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Speaker 4: But that was a journey.

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Speaker 9: It's the book is really the sort of the story

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Speaker 9: of me growing up with my crazy, alcoholic, larger than life,

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Speaker 9: pyramid scheming mom and then her sort of sometimes very humorous,

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Speaker 9: sometimes tragic attempt to like give me a sense of family.

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Speaker 4: And so when she when she found out about.

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Speaker 9: My dad's donations, even though they had never had a

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Speaker 9: traditional relationship, like she and her mind had built it

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Speaker 9: up to be like we were mom, Dad, me and

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Speaker 9: my little sister. And so she thought that each and

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Speaker 9: every single one of the discovered siblings was like my

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Speaker 9: father had it was like an adulterate, like.

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Speaker 4: He had cheated on her each time. She had a

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Speaker 4: real mental breakdown.

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Speaker 3: Right now, your mom sounds like a pretty amazing sort

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Speaker 3: of eccentric woman though, someone who is just sort of

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Speaker 3: flies by the seat of her pants.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the.

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Speaker 3: Fact that she could just say, hey, you, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to I'm gonna give you a couple grand and guy's like, okay,

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Speaker 3: to do what you know?

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's pretty amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's one of a kind.

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Speaker 5: No, she really is one of a kind. I mean

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Speaker 5: when you read the book, which obviously everyone should do,

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Speaker 5: I mean you start to see some of these stories

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Speaker 5: and it truly does come out of a if done

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Speaker 5: as a movie, no one would believe it kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: Well, how much of these.

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Speaker 10: You can't even write it right because fictionally, it's because

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Speaker 10: it's just so crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what I'm saying, Like how much is true?

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Speaker 3: And how much do you think is embellishments? Like are

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Speaker 3: we you know, because we have people in our life,

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Speaker 3: you know who half the things that he says is

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Speaker 3: I think true, and then half.

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Speaker 2: Of it is like what are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean, that's the craziest thing.

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Speaker 4: Yes, my mother is a complete, unreliable narrator.

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Speaker 9: So wherever in the book I wasn't able to verify

228
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,840
Speaker 9: something through other sources than I would use words like

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Speaker 9: allegedly or right, yeah, like my mother allegedly inspired Mick

230
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Speaker 9: Jagger's lyric you can't always get what you want, but

231
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Speaker 9: you get what you need.

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Speaker 4: But like I have no way of proving that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so this is funny. Well here's what I read. Okay,

234
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Speaker 3: I read this when I when I read that part

235
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Speaker 3: of your story. I dated this girl for three years.

236
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Speaker 3: Her name is Vanessa Shaw. She her whole family was

237
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Speaker 3: born into Nietron Dyshonan Buddhism. Oh fascinating, and so I

238
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Speaker 3: was a part of that for a minute. While I

239
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Speaker 3: was dating her. From her mother, I heard that someone

240
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Speaker 3: in this sect of Buddhism is the one who inspired

241
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Speaker 3: that song because they were with Mick Jagger at some

242
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,559
Speaker 3: party or something like that. My mother, it was your

243
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 3: mother was there right right, Your mom was there and

244
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,600
Speaker 3: they were just talking and and basically through this Buddhism

245
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,480
Speaker 3: said you know, look, you can't always get what you want,

246
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,120
Speaker 3: but you'll get what you need, because that's sort of

247
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Speaker 3: the philosophy of this niet tronds shone in Buddhism. And

248
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Speaker 3: I've take I've known that story or I don't know

249
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Speaker 3: whether it's real or not, but is there a connection

250
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 3: here some crazy yes.

251
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,360
Speaker 4: So that story has been told since.

252
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Speaker 9: Like the sixties, okay, And my mother was very high

253
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Speaker 9: up in that organization, Like she went to Japan seven.

254
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,079
Speaker 4: Times, is crazy.

255
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Speaker 9: She was the head of the women's division. She was like,

256
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,559
Speaker 9: what a weird probably.

257
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 4: Got a nagah was the thing back then.

258
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Speaker 10: You know, I do I still need I still yeah,

259
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,319
Speaker 10: I chant on an airplane, just like I go through

260
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Speaker 10: my beads.

261
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Speaker 2: But I don't. I don't do the whole thing.

262
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Speaker 9: I mean, I mean it's you know, my mom used

263
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Speaker 9: to we would be on the verge of homelessness chanting

264
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Speaker 9: for yeah.

265
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Speaker 4: Well yeah, yeah, I've been doing that chance since I was.

266
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Speaker 3: Very O my god, so crazy. So this is sort

267
00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:49,079
Speaker 3: of a nis In lore in a way. But your

268
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 3: mom is the one who claims she has.

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Speaker 9: Been central to the to all of them, like all

270
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Speaker 9: of the different stars that came in my mother, like

271
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,680
Speaker 9: Tina Turner was.

272
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Speaker 4: My mom, Like yeah, it was.

273
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Speaker 9: Yeah, my mom was very she was always in the

274
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Speaker 9: center of all that stuff.

275
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Speaker 2: You guys grew up in Los Angeles.

276
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,120
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean not. I mean, you guys have been

277
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,439
Speaker 9: really in the center of a lot of them.

278
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,480
Speaker 2: No, no, but it's funny.

279
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,719
Speaker 3: I guarantee your mom knows like Larry Shaw and and

280
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,440
Speaker 3: I forget I know Larry.

281
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I think Larry's shot.

282
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,320
Speaker 9: Oh, Larry, Garry Shaw is who I called to confirm

283
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,080
Speaker 9: this story.

284
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 3: That was my so Vanessa Shaw's daughter I was.

285
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,640
Speaker 2: Dated for three years.

286
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:30,880
Speaker 5: You know.

287
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,920
Speaker 1: She she was like she like lived in our house.

288
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, Larry, and then her mother's name.

289
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,240
Speaker 9: Well, the background, the background on that lyric is hilarious

290
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,320
Speaker 9: because they would tell everyone all you have to do

291
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,360
Speaker 9: to get what you want is to chant this chant

292
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,040
Speaker 9: and people were, you know, applying it to And so

293
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,920
Speaker 9: my mother, Larry Shaw tells this amazing story. My mother

294
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,840
Speaker 9: and her girlfriends would get on their motorcycles and these

295
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,360
Speaker 9: mini skirts, and it was back when Sunset Strip was

296
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 9: like car to car, bumper to bumper, and they would

297
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,640
Speaker 9: with their retorcycles go in and out of traffic and

298
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,560
Speaker 9: be like, come over here, we have a chanting meeting.

299
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 9: Follow us, and like all the young men would just

300
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 9: follow the girls in the miniskirts to the chanting meeting.

301
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:12,040
Speaker 9: But it was their way of recruiting people into and Buddhism.

302
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,400
Speaker 9: But when they would get there, they would be doing

303
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 9: the meeting and explaining how the chant worked, and a

304
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 9: man would raise his hand and be like, so, I

305
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,880
Speaker 9: just have to chance to sleep with her and then

306
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 9: I'll get what.

307
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 4: I want and that.

308
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 9: So they came up with the line you just have

309
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,400
Speaker 9: to You don't always get what you want, but you

310
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,960
Speaker 9: get what you meet. So that was where my mother

311
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,440
Speaker 9: had come up with it. But then she was yeah

312
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 9: with the rolling stones for like a couple of weeks,

313
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,760
Speaker 9: and she was gay, and I guess Nick Jagger was

314
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 9: coming on to her, and that was her hilarious line

315
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 9: back right, wow, allegedly I added the allegen there because.

316
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,520
Speaker 2: You know, I.

317
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 10: Think they should just the stones should just confirming.

318
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 3: We got to figure out how the real story is.

319
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,480
Speaker 3: But it's so funny that Larry and your mom, that's.

320
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,360
Speaker 4: So so wow.

321
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,160
Speaker 1: You found out you were a donor baby in your twenties.

322
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 4: I've found out.

323
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,280
Speaker 9: Yeah, So I have been told that my parents were

324
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 9: best friends who had had a kid together.

325
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 4: And then through a long and wild.

326
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 9: Experience at my it was on the front page of

327
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 9: the Times that my father was this anonymous donor coming

328
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 9: forward and there were all these kids that he was meeting,

329
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 9: and that my mother discovered it.

330
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 4: By reading the newspaper.

331
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 3: Why did he decide to come forward? He it's such

332
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 3: a long story, wondering like maybe we'll.

333
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 4: Have to read the book. But basically he he.

334
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 9: Was sitting at a coffee shop in Venice at that point,

335
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 9: you know, living in his car and u and on

336
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 9: the front page was this story our you know, hi sister.

337
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you, or a father's Donor one fifty.

338
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,680
Speaker 9: And he remembered that his number was Donor one fifty,

339
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 9: and he was like, oh my god, that's crazy.

340
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 4: I'm on the front page of the New York Times.

341
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 9: So he called the people involved to be like, I

342
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 9: donor one fifty. So two years later, the New York

343
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 9: Times followed him meeting those kids.

344
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 4: Does that make sense?

345
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:11,240
Speaker 10: Yeah? So, Evan, let's let's bring you into this now.

346
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,159
Speaker 10: So when did you find out that you give us

347
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 10: some background on how you grew up.

348
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 5: First, Yeah, So, so my mom was heterosexual, and she

349
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,680
Speaker 5: was married to my dad, and my dad had had

350
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 5: two children before me, and then he had a vasectomy

351
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 5: before he and my mom had ever met. And it's

352
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 5: obvious back in the eighties, and then my mom when

353
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 5: they had got married, always wanted to have a child

354
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,120
Speaker 5: and they weren't able to conceive, so she went through

355
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 5: a sperm clinic. And then obviously when you go to

356
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 5: one of these cliques, especially back then, there was only

357
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 5: one person that hit all of these different criteria where

358
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 5: it's like, Okay, they need to be blonde, they need

359
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,880
Speaker 5: to be this height, they need to have this SATU

360
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 5: score whatever. And Jeffrey I think that's why he was

361
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 5: such a prolific donor. He's literally the only person that

362
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 5: hit all these characteristics. And then I had a much

363
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,160
Speaker 5: had not similar to Chris's, but I had a really

364
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 5: childhood as well. My father was like very abusive, he's

365
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 5: alcoholic whatever. Eventually my parents divorced, and you know, especially

366
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 5: related to the alcoholism, my mom wouled me to know, like, hey,

367
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:17,680
Speaker 5: like you are you know not? You were not conceived

368
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 5: by him, right, And so I was told when I

369
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 5: was about nine. So I knew for a long time,

370
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 5: and I knew, like I actually knew in my head

371
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,320
Speaker 5: that there were probably other siblings out there. I knew

372
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,080
Speaker 5: that there was probably our family out there, and I

373
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 5: just had no interest in really looking all of this

374
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 5: up for a long time.

375
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 4: But you would fantasize about like who.

376
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,680
Speaker 5: You're bio is a full father, because there's so many

377
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,919
Speaker 5: things that I am just very, very different from my

378
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,400
Speaker 5: mom's side of the family on that I knew that

379
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,680
Speaker 5: there had to be something coming from something, right, Yeah,

380
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,679
Speaker 5: like like I look much more like Jeffrey. I have

381
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 5: a lot of behaviors, are much more like Jeffrey.

382
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,439
Speaker 9: He is the spitting image of my dad. Or you

383
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,359
Speaker 9: won't believe it.

384
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, like I'm like the less handsome version of Jeffrey.

385
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 5: But but like like in terms of like careers, like

386
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 5: like my papural great grandfather, it's almost one to one,

387
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 5: like all these different things, right, And then it's so anyway,

388
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 5: so you start to fantasize about something sings like, oh,

389
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 5: what was I actually getting was just a kind of

390
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 5: genetic coincidence and everything. And I actually studied evolutionary biology,

391
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 5: so this is obviously something that's always been in my brain.

392
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 2: Amazing.

393
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 5: But the reason why I never really had an interest

394
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 5: in looking into is because what I had figured. And

395
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 5: also if you kind of go online, a lot of

396
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 5: people when they find out these things, it's like, oh,

397
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 5: some guy donated once or twice when he was a

398
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,439
Speaker 5: college and he has his own family and there's like

399
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 5: one donor kid, or there's maybe like one or two,

400
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 5: and then people have this really awkward situation where they

401
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 5: try to like insert themselves in that person's life. And

402
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 5: that's not something I ever had any interest in. And

403
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not I didn't have the greatest

404
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 5: like kind of family experience growing up, and it's like

405
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 5: the last thing I want to do is go and

406
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 5: insert myself into somebody else's, right, And then I don't

407
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 5: really understand. I don't really remember what the thought process was,

408
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 5: but it was literally like there was a sale for

409
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,679
Speaker 5: ancestry and my wife's mom was adopted, and so she

410
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 5: doesn't really know her whole family background, and we were like,

411
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 5: why don't we just get a DNA test and we'll

412
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 5: both kind of figure out. It'll be an experience. And

413
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,120
Speaker 5: I knew that there was going to be some sort

414
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 5: of siblings involved, right her, like the high probability there was,

415
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 5: and I just had no idea what level that this

416
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 5: was going to be. And so we did this and

417
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 5: and I actually completely forgot about doing the test, right

418
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 5: because you did you like the biggest living in like

419
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 5: December said just know your oar. And then I get

420
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 5: a text message on February fourteenth, on Valentine's Day of

421
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 5: twenty twenty before the world went to shit, and it

422
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 5: was from Ancestry like, oh, your results are online. And

423
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 5: before I even get on there, all of a sudden,

424
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 5: I have all these people adding me on social media.

425
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 9: Cats like artiblings are a busy budany new sibling, They're

426
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 9: like going to stock herd.

427
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,959
Speaker 5: I'm not an influencer of celebrity, so all of a sudden,

428
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 5: having a dozen people had me on it like it's

429
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 5: very unusual, right, And I'm like what the I'm like,

430
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 5: what the F is going on here? And I'm like,

431
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 5: so I go in and if you've ever gone on

432
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 5: one of these, you know they kind of listened out

433
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 5: like oh, potentially sibling or they say sibling or first cousin,

434
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 5: and you just go down this liston all of a sudden,

435
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 5: it takes on the entire page and you start scrolling out.

436
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 5: It's literally the entire page, and I have messages from

437
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 5: multiple siblings and I think, Chris, I think you were

438
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 5: the first one to reach out, and.

439
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 4: She was like, uh yeah, I think you reached out

440
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 4: to me.

441
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 5: You know, I don't remember. I don't remember which way

442
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,399
Speaker 5: it was. So I spoke to you and it was

443
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 5: like within I think it was within five or ten

444
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 5: minutes of getting this text message from Ancestry. The results

445
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 5: are online that I was speaking of Chris on the phone,

446
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 5: and I think the way you said it was, I

447
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 5: think the phone, are you are you like somewhat comfortable?

448
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 5: Are you saying no? And I was like, no, no,

449
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 5: I already know the situation. I already know that note

450
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 5: or conceive right, most people, it's it's a surprise, right,

451
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 5: It's a big ye rise and it's like their whole

452
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 5: world is like shaken. And for me, I'm like, I

453
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 5: don't know, I already know. Just tell me what the

454
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 5: situation is. I don't want to hear it. Like yeah,

455
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 5: And it kind of in those five or ten minutes,

456
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 5: I was fantasy. I'm like, wait, is this like a celebrity?

457
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 5: Is this like is this some crazy situation? Is this

458
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,479
Speaker 5: like a doctor that went rogue and like had like

459
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 5: you know, thirty forty kids or whatever. It was still

460
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 5: a crazy thing, but it was just a completely different

461
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 5: way I'd ever expected. And then there aren't. And so

462
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 5: one kind of pecure thing is among the siblings it's

463
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 5: mostly women. And you know that's probably a bias of

464
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 5: like who takes DNA tests? I think probably women to interest.

465
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 5: I was one of the only like brothers in the group,

466
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 5: and so obviously I got a messages the.

467
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 4: Only brother in the group. But he's the only Republican

468
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 4: in the group.

469
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 5: I'm the only.

470
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: I'm like a Republican brother.

471
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 5: That's It's a genetic trait that the siblings like to argue.

472
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 5: So within within thirty minutes, I have people arguing with,

473
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 5: oh I have said anything yet? Oh my god.

474
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 10: Yeah.

475
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 5: And I'm like, we'll be like, hey, what do you

476
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 5: think about this? What do you think about I'm like,

477
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 5: all right, let's not back. Let's get to know each other.

478
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 5: Let's pretend like we've known each other for.

479
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 4: A spare I'm d.

480
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 2: But wow, that is crazy.

481
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

482
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 4: Okay, so but was it family drama up like fifteen nons?

483
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can't but but but what goes

484
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 3: through your head when all of a sudden you either

485
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 3: of you are realizing that this isn't just an isolated incident.

486
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 3: Now you've got potentially hundreds of siblings. I mean, is

487
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 3: it is there a part of it that's exciting?

488
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 5: It's I mean, how could it not be exactly right?

489
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 5: Like I grew up so I have like a half

490
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 5: brother and a half sibling, you know, from my dad's side,

491
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 5: but I didn't grow up with them, so I'd never

492
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 5: so I didn't. I grew up with the feeling of

493
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 5: being an older child. So it's something I always wanted myself,

494
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 5: was to have a brother or so that I was

495
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 5: like hanging out with and everything.

496
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 2: Careful what you wish for. You don't always get what

497
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 2: you want, you get what you need.

498
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 5: I wanted. I wanted all the arguments and the fight.

499
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 5: I wanted all of that right, and it's something I

500
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,120
Speaker 5: never had. So I was like, so you start fantasizing

501
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 5: about these things in your head, right and now like

502
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 5: nothing ever happens. How do you think it's gonna happen?

503
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 5: But yeah, it was cool. So like I've got a

504
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 5: chance to hang out with several siblings like I don't.

505
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 5: It's now with your cookie father, Oh, I thought out

506
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 5: with my I've smoked weed with my cookie father.

507
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 3: Really said a very republican thing to do. What do

508
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 3: you mean they all Republicans get high.

509
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 5: Well well, okay, so so here's the funny thing though

510
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 5: about Jeffreys McConnell's.

511
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 2: High all the time.

512
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: I mean, our father is sortifiably crazy.

513
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 5: But what's gonna tell them was you know what's really

514
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 5: he's certifiably crazy, except for when he smokes weed, he

515
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 5: all of a sudden becomes super normal. Like you could

516
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 5: have a completely normal conversation with him. He does and

517
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 5: start talking about aliens or like interdimension He'll stop doing

518
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 5: that and he'll just be completely normal.

519
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 3: Really, what is your dad's I mean, is he is

520
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 3: he actually clinically ill?

521
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 5: Yeah?

522
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 9: Yeah, he has a he has a schizophrenia diagnosis. It's

523
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 9: unclear where he falls between bipolar and that. He's but

524
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 9: he's sort of got, you know, high levels of paranoia,

525
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 9: but he's got he's sweet too, like he's not. He's like,

526
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 9: you know, he lives now, he's living in India. It's

527
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 9: a long story, but well so he was homeless for

528
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 9: most of my life growing up. But it's a choice.

529
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 9: It also kind of goes in with this hippie spirituality thing,

530
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 9: like it's not taking.

531
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 4: Up natural resources.

532
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 9: He he he's nocturnal, so he sleeps literally all day

533
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 9: and then he's awake literally.

534
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,919
Speaker 4: All night where he's doing animals. It's it's all very Wowow,

535
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 4: what an interesting person.

536
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 10: Well, I mean it's also like says so much about

537
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 10: the brain and how the brain kind of creates.

538
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, but sometimes I always wonder, you know, what if

539
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 3: we're the crazy ones, and what if the people who

540
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: we see on the street, who we deem to be

541
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 3: sort of unstable are the ones who can see beyond

542
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 3: anything that we can see and they know more than

543
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 3: we do.

544
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: I always strangely.

545
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 5: Everything Father's position, Well, well, I agree with you, you know,

546
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 5: because the thing at the end of the day, like

547
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 5: so I'm a you know, a type a person that

548
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 5: did the whole like go to college, do your MBA,

549
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 5: working fias, blah blah, and you know, you think of

550
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 5: Jeffrey and he's somebody that came from a wealthy family,

551
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 5: a male model, everything, and he voluntarily chose to do this,

552
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 5: and I he will not be very many people happier

553
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 5: than him he chooses to do that, and he would

554
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 5: not be happy if you, like Chris and I, had

555
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 5: tried to get him into a home, get him to

556
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 5: a part of it, or whatever, and that would he

557
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 5: would be un happy in that situation. He prefers to

558
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 5: be in the situation that he said, and it's it

559
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 5: definitely does make you kind of wonder, like how much

560
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 5: of what we desire is actually something that we want

561
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 5: versus something that we feel like we need to do

562
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 5: out of some sort of like out a cultural societal

563
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 5: kind of thing.

564
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 9: And he has rose colored glasses for how to look

565
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,959
Speaker 9: at it and at a little differently, right.

566
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 4: I think it's a sweet perspective.

567
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 5: No, nobody, go ahead, no, go ahead, No, it makes

568
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 5: you wonder, like I certainly I'm not going to change

569
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 5: the way I live based on how I see him living,

570
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 5: great because I don't want to live in a van.

571
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 5: I have a family. But it does make me kind

572
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,719
Speaker 5: of question myself sometimes when I'm like, oh, I need

573
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 5: to do this, I need to do that, and we

574
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 5: do this, and it's like, well, this guy is completely happy,

575
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 5: and you know, I guess the thing on that is

576
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 5: there was a funny part. So there was a documentary

577
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 5: that was done that it was on Sundance, and I

578
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 5: think in some parts of it they tried to show

579
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 5: him in a in my opinion, they tried to show

580
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 5: him in a more negative light than they could have,

581
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 5: and in one of the parts they basically kind of

582
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 5: frame it. They're like, hey, you know, you came from

583
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 5: the church family here, you had all this going on

584
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 5: for you, and now you're living in a van. Like

585
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 5: they kind of put it to that to him, and

586
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 5: he goes and he pauses and he goes, you know, well, biologically,

587
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 5: i'd say I'm quite successful, and that kind of shows.

588
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 4: That was a very cringe worthy moment for my mother,

589
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 4: by the way.

590
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 3: But but but but what is your what is your

591
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 3: emotional attachment or detachment from your father? You know what

592
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: I mean, because it sounds like your question both of

593
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 3: you guys. It's both of you guys, because it sounds

594
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 3: like you're okay with him being whoever he is. But

595
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 3: is there any sort of emotional you know, connection or

596
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 3: disconnection from him.

597
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 4: Or like fear?

598
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 10: I mean, he's like, you know, he's got mental illness.

599
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 10: I mean, has that then become like something that you

600
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 10: think about?

601
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's really complicated for me because I didn't grow up.

602
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 4: I think that there's like a level of.

603
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 9: Sort of detachment that you can have when you have

604
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 9: the psychologue, when it's your sperm owner.

605
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 4: But I grew up knowing him as my dad, and

606
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 4: there's like a level of.

607
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 9: Responsibility as his child and identifying him as my dad.

608
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 9: That like it makes it sometimes very hard for me

609
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 9: to let go, and I can get caught up in

610
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 9: a in a psychological wheel of like how to fix it,

611
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 9: and then of course like having kids, just like they

612
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 9: have one little problem and you're like, oh my god,

613
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 9: is it?

614
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 4: You know, so it's it's it?

615
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 3: Is it?

616
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 4: You can't even There are parts, you know, parts of

617
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 4: this that are genetic.

618
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 9: He also had serious trauma that you know, I think,

619
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 9: and he also did a lot of really crazy hard drugs,

620
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 9: like you know when during my childhood he got super

621
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 9: adictatous speed and like and uh so that all has

622
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 9: an impact on the brain as well. So you know,

623
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 9: it's complicated for sure. I think everyone can relate to

624
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 9: complicated families.

625
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Well, we are extremely honored to be sponsored

626
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,720
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627
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628
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629
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630
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641
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642
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645
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647
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648
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649
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650
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651
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653
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660
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664
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667
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 3: I wake up with this mindset, whether it be meditation,

668
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 3: whether it be exercise. Now, diet is the number one

669
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 3: thing that I need to get better at in my life,

670
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 3: and Sokara has definitely been that ready to eat meal

671
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 3: that has helped me achieve these goals. They've been a

672
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 3: sponsor of this show for a long, long long time

673
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 3: and there's a reason for it.

674
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: Number One, we use it.

675
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 3: Sokara provides me with plant based nutrition that sets me

676
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 3: straight and puts me on the right path.

677
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 8: It's your reset. It's like your life, it's your reset.

678
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 8: But really what it is is, when you think about it,

679
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 8: it's what should be your lifestyle. So it allows you

680
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 8: to kind of be able to look at what it

681
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 8: is to eat truly healthy and that that's your goal.

682
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 3: So basically, if you're looking for meals that are ready

683
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 3: to eat and they're delivered right to your door and

684
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: actually help you feel and look your best and look

685
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 3: no further all right, Skara is the answer.

686
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 2: It's it's more than just a meal delivery program. It's

687
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 2: a nutrition program.

688
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 8: So Skara brings expertly designed organic nutrition programs and will

689
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 8: onllness essentials right to your door. There's science backed, ready

690
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 8: to eat meals deliver results you can see and feel,

691
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 8: from weight management and ease bloat to boosted energy and

692
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 8: clearer skin.

693
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: And right now, Sikar is offering our listeners twenty percent

694
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 3: off their first order when they go to Sakara dot

695
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 3: com slash sibling or enter code sibling at checkout.

696
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 2: That's Ccara s A k A r A dot.

697
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 3: Com slash sibling to get twenty percent off your first

698
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 3: order Sikara dot com slash sibling.

699
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 10: You know you you found I mean you found out

700
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 10: probably did you find out before everybody else?

701
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: I mean you probably knew before your other siblings knew.

702
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 9: So, so in around two thousand and five is when

703
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 9: the New York Times stuff started happening. And when my

704
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 9: mother discovered it, she vowed she would never tell me

705
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 9: and my little sister she I have a full little

706
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 9: sister through my dad as well. She thought she was

707
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 9: going to be able to keep it a secret forever

708
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 9: because she just didn't want us to find out. But

709
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 9: ultimately she had to tell us because I was at

710
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 9: that time most likely dating my half brother, and so

711
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:26,760
Speaker 9: she had no choice.

712
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 2: I want to get into that for a second.

713
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 7: But but.

714
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 9: So she told us, and that's sort of when. But

715
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,919
Speaker 9: she just told us that there were like a couple

716
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 9: other kids potentially. She didn't really explain the magnitude of it.

717
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 9: Did you do it just like that through a couple

718
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 9: of kids potentially?

719
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 4: Maybe?

720
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 10: Okay, well, okay, so your mom knew that you were

721
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 10: dating your half brother or what she So she read the.

722
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 4: New York Times article realized my father had been doting.

723
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 9: Sperm ten years after I was weren't born while sort

724
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 9: of playing dad, and then through it through another crazy

725
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 9: set of circumstances, was alerted to the fact that the

726
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 9: boy I was seeing was probably one of those donor kids.

727
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: Now, were you like dating dating dating?

728
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 5: Dating?

729
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 3: No way, she's asking did you were you stooping in

730
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 3: the sense you were stooping your brother?

731
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 2: We don't know.

732
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 9: And then my mother told me this as I'm so,

733
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 9: I'm process. You have to understand that I'm processing. Okay,

734
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 9: my dad wasn't really your best friend.

735
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 4: You paid him to have me.

736
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 9: And also there are probably a lot of other siblings,

737
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 9: and oh, I have a date with one of them tonight,

738
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 9: but you're not sure. And my mom's instructing me to

739
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 9: like look closely at his hands and toes because that's

740
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 9: really when you can tell my God.

741
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 4: Look who informed her of this?

742
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 2: Your dad?

743
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 4: You'll have to It's such a long story that you've

744
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 4: been talking about. Complicated.

745
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: Wow, I mean, and then what were what was going

746
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 1: on in your mind at that moment?

747
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 4: Did you were you?

748
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 1: Like, this has got to be a joke. I just

749
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: can't be right, Yeah, it's got to be.

750
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 4: Also, just it felt yes, I didn't know whether to

751
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 4: laugh or cry.

752
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,800
Speaker 9: Because if you have to understand that, like and for

753
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 9: most of the talk about this, but like, my life

754
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 9: was already insane, Like we were, you know, my mom

755
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 9: was involved in pyramid schemes where we were in these

756
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 9: giant mansions and then we were homeless, and then we

757
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 9: were like it you know many times over.

758
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 4: She was a drug addict. She was sober.

759
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 9: So like the idea that also my homeless father was

760
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 9: this serial sperm donor, and.

761
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 4: It was it was just too much to say. It

762
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:40,439
Speaker 4: was just too much.

763
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 9: And family at that point was already so complex because

764
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 9: my mom and had all these girlfriends and we'd have

765
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 9: so many different family units and like so just I

766
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 9: was like, I can't handle one more family member.

767
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: Let alone, let alone my boyfriend being brother.

768
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 4: Let alone a brother a brother.

769
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 3: Has subsequently been confirmed? Or do we still are in

770
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 3: the gray area?

771
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,280
Speaker 4: It's it's a it's a complicated situation.

772
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 2: So I sort of left it open and call it

773
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 2: gray area, right.

774
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:13,479
Speaker 4: Call it gray area.

775
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 5: So you guys, grey though, is a grey though?

776
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 3: Bestes, Wait a minute, but so jesus, how are you

777
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 3: to get in like a pseudonym in the book, et cetera.

778
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 4: Et cetera.

779
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 2: But but you you see, look, we all have our

780
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 2: fucking crazy shit.

781
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 5: Right.

782
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 3: But but you and again we're just meeting, But you

783
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 3: seem pretty good, right, You've a family of your own,

784
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,879
Speaker 3: You've dealt with a lot of this stuff, I'm sure

785
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 3: one way or another. I don't know whether you've compartmentalized

786
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 3: that are actually been through intensive therapy to sort of

787
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 3: understand yourself, But you seem to be thriving.

788
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 2: I guess.

789
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 3: I mean, given your circumstances, it's crazy that you're even

790
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 3: a normal human being.

791
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 4: My husband said that to me upon think my mother

792
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 4: for the perstone.

793
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 9: But yeah, I've done a lot of work, and I

794
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 9: think so many people, like I think part of the

795
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 9: story was really like you.

796
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 4: Never know what someone's going through.

797
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 9: As normal as things look on the outside, And like,

798
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 9: I think that a lot of people can relate to

799
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 9: having more challenging things than what they think everyone else

800
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 9: is going through. And so I think part of the

801
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 9: reason for writing the book was just to like have

802
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 9: people relate to that and see that you can, yeah,

803
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 9: overcome some of that generational stuff. Like he didn't have

804
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 9: an easy it was very different, but he had, you know,

805
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 9: a pretty abusive situation and right, totally different.

806
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 10: Can kind of like ghost patterns and when did everybody

807
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 10: decide to connect?

808
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,720
Speaker 9: So I learned about the siblings around two thousand and seven,

809
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 9: and it was only a couple of years ago that

810
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 9: I decided I wanted anything to do with them.

811
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 4: So my initial psychological reaction.

812
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 9: Was just like, I'm going to pretend I'm going to

813
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,879
Speaker 9: compartmentalize this and this isn't family, it's biology, and it's

814
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 9: just one more weird thing about my weird, crazy family.

815
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 4: And then I I purposely didn't do DNA tests.

816
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 9: I stayed away from all that stuff and that, but

817
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 9: the siblings, and the siblings got the word, like one

818
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 9: of them reached out to me on Facebook right after

819
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 9: I found out, and it was just too much for me,

820
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 9: and so I basically was like, can you let everyone

821
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 9: else know?

822
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 4: I just don't want anything to do with this whole thing.

823
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 9: So no one ever contacted me as new siblings were

824
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 9: added into the bunch, you know, they just sort of

825
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 9: left me alone.

826
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 2: And then.

827
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 4: And then one sister.

828
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 9: Found out that she was donor conceived, and we had

829
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 9: both gone to this tiny art school in Italy that

830
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 9: no one's ever heard of for classical painting, and that

831
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 9: was just such a weird bif we both went a

832
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 9: year after each other, like Renaissance painting of Still Lives.

833
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 9: You know, this is like an obscure thing to go

834
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 9: study at a school. It's all like we both studied

835
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 9: at Penn State, Like no one's ever heard of the

836
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 9: Florence Academy of Art, and you know, we had all

837
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 9: the same friends in common, and we like we were

838
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,760
Speaker 9: both married to a brit who was seven years older

839
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 9: than us, and it was sort of like three identical strangers.

840
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 4: And so I think that coincidence.

841
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 9: And then her reaching out before she before she connected

842
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,399
Speaker 9: with the other group to like know, hey, don't reach

843
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 9: out to Christa, I think that sort of cracked it

844
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 9: all open. And then much like Evan, she was an

845
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 9: only child and just so excited to have siblings. She

846
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 9: was like, this is just so exciting.

847
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 4: I can't believe. This is like a lifetime. Maybe I

848
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 4: can't believe, you know, this doesn't happen to real people.

849
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 9: And I think that like, at that moment in my life,

850
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 9: I was more stable and happy, so I think I

851
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 9: was more open to new connections. And then also just

852
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 9: her enthusiasm made me realize, like, oh, my negative perspective

853
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 9: on all of this was just a choice that I

854
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,879
Speaker 9: made a long time ago, and I could also choose

855
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 9: to just see it as this positive, exciting thing, curious.

856
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 3: Well, it's actually it's actually brings me a question for

857
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 3: both of you guys, just sort of about this this

858
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 3: idea of nature versus nurture, you know what I mean,

859
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 3: there's such a great a whole half of you who

860
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 3: you know, you didn't know where you came from, and

861
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: and you were saying that sort of how your father

862
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 3: informed a lot of sort of who you are, how

863
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 3: you felt different from that from your family. Do you

864
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 3: guys analyze that at all or do you I know,

865
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 3: you said you worry for your kids sometimes meaning like

866
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 3: oh my god, I hope they're not nuts.

867
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 2: But you know what I mean, do you guys think

868
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 2: about that?

869
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 5: I mean, so like in the most generic way, we

870
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 5: actually do have a spreadsheet that has a lot of

871
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 5: this information of like what you're like, s are are

872
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 5: there any like allergies or any medican like? And it'll

873
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 5: blow your mind away, like how many things that you

874
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 5: think are unique about yourself that are not unique at all? Right,

875
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 5: It's like, oh, you like wild mush on your pizza?

876
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 5: Like this, it's like okay, cool, yeah, all the sum

877
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 5: Bolks do we all like that. It's like, okay, you

878
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 5: all like marml or something weird like something you think, Oh,

879
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 5: I'm like the only person no one else. It's like yeah, yeah,

880
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 5: that's a genetic thing. Everyone likes that.

881
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: So you've done you mean you literally.

882
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, ninety percent of them have cats. Not

883
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 4: only have cats, but have them like in their profile picture,

884
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 4: like in their like in their profile picture.

885
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 2: Oh wow, so.

886
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: Right, like you're like, click, You're.

887
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 2: Like a cat cat plan.

888
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

889
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's like it's like a cat obsessed Like yeah,

890
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 9: that's a general petsinger.

891
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 10: Yeah.

892
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, like every I think, every single person in the

893
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 5: pet or close to it. Yeah, you know. I mean

894
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 5: there's so many of these things that you and it's

895
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 5: I think I feel like it's more exacerbated because people

896
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 5: grew up apart from each other, because I think when

897
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 5: you look at it, someone grows up with somebody else.

898
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 5: They try to differentiate themselves in some way. Right, You're like, Okay,

899
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 5: I'm the sibling that likes this, I'm this personal likes that,

900
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 5: and I've a lot of that disappears when you didn't

901
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 5: grew up with each other. So then when you kind

902
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 5: of discover it and you find out all those things

903
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 5: that you thought were your unique personality trade, it's like, no, actually,

904
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 5: that's that's what she inherited from Jeffrey, you know.

905
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 4: Like the artistic interest or like the Yeah, so many,

906
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: so many different things.

907
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 5: Well, Hector and I hang out, Like Hector is one of.

908
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 4: The other few brothers. Ill male model who lives on a.

909
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 5: A packa farm, a farm. Yeah.

910
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, wait, is everybody California?

911
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 9: No, all over the country wealthy and poor, left and right,

912
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 9: gay mom mom, heterosexual, two parent household, Like it's really spread.

913
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 5: They really price discriminated. They made sure they when they

914
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 5: sold them to the celebrity families, they they made sure

915
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 5: those people had a lot of money. And then when

916
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 5: other families that were impoverished paid, they're like, okay, we'll

917
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 5: send it you a dry ice and you can turkey

918
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 5: base yourself. That's literally what happened. So it makes it

919
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 5: so to your question was about like nature versus nurture

920
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,240
Speaker 5: and stuff, right, we truly have like the socioeconomics spread

921
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 5: where you have children of billionaires and you have children

922
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 5: of people in deep poverty and rural areas. And I

923
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 5: think that when you look at like, let's keep it

924
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 5: really simple, look at their educational outcomes, almost no difference. Right,

925
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 5: you have people with PhDs from Harvard that had very

926
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 5: modest circumstances, and you have ones that again comfort billionaires.

927
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 5: And I don't know, I've always been somebody that thought that,

928
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 5: you know, nature has a lot more to do with

929
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 5: it than people think. And for me this kind of

930
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,879
Speaker 5: confirmed it. But obviously that's not really like proof per se.

931
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 5: That's just like evidence that I'm using to fulfill my

932
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 5: already give an idea.

933
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 4: But and I was the opposite.

934
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 9: I always thought nature was way more and now think

935
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 9: I give sorry, I always thought nurture was way more.

936
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 9: And I think after getting to know those siblings, I

937
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 9: think nature is just so like just there's no way

938
00:44:58,640 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 9: around it.

939
00:44:59,080 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 4: It's a big part of it.

940
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 3: Wow you and do you know every do you the

941
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 3: people who you do know? The siblings that you do

942
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 3: know of, do you know what their backgrounds are? And

943
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 3: have you dug deep into these who they are? And

944
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 3: have you contacted everyone that you know of?

945
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 4: Yeah?

946
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: That was micro Like have you guys all met now?

947
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 5: Well? Because a lot of it happened has happened during COVID, Yeah,

948
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 5: coast COVID, Right, that like inhibited the travel for a

949
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 5: lot of people for a few years, you know, But

950
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 5: I mean virtually I've met essentially close to everyone, not

951
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 5: quite a probe, but close everyone virtually, And that in person,

952
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 5: I think you've met obviously way more people than me. Yeah,

953
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 5: I've met six siblings in person.

954
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 4: I've met quite a few.

955
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 5: Yeah.

956
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: Do you guys all look alike?

957
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

958
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 9: I look more like my mother, but a huge batch

959
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 9: of them look exactly like Jeffrey, my dad, Like, you

960
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 9: look a lot like him.

961
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 4: My little sister that I grew up with, identical, Nicole

962
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 4: pen Zi. Yeah, identically.

963
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 5: Yeah. Like because also, like if you go on this,

964
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 5: they'll show you like what percentage you would because it's

965
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 5: not like you fifty to fifty got it from each parents,

966
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 5: like you got a little bit more or whatever, and

967
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 5: a lot of us got a disproportion about from Jeffrey.

968
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 5: So we really really look alike, especially like prominent characteristics.

969
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so is there anyone anyone like in jail, Like,

970
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 3: was there any like, is there any crazy shit?

971
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 7: You know?

972
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: Siblings were like, oh my god, this is nuts.

973
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 5: Well, we wouldn't know, I guess, right, because how would

974
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 5: they take a DNA?

975
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 4: I mean certainly we're a kookie bunch.

976
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:36,919
Speaker 9: Yeah.

977
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not going to.

978
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 4: Rag on no, No, of course we have very eccentric Yeah.

979
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 10: Are there certain ones that you feel closer to than others?

980
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 5: Yeah?

981
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

982
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 9: I think it's like in any net, like if you

983
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 9: had a bunch of cousins, you, you know, you'd be

984
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 9: drawn towards maybe certain ones that you had more in

985
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 9: common with than others. Right, Oh man, somebody helps too,

986
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 9: and somebody has a lot to do with it, like

987
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 9: he lives nearby, so we see each other more.

988
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 5: That's like, yeah, that helps.

989
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: Was it emotional?

990
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 10: Like because you you did meet each other, like you

991
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 10: did have people at your house, right, and when that happened,

992
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 10: like the first time you actually saw a sibling in

993
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 10: person other than your sister, and and same thing for

994
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 10: you Evan, Like how emotional was that for you? Especially

995
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 10: for you Evan you didn't have siblings, Like was it emotional?

996
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 10: Was it like Ti or was it kind of more weird?

997
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,399
Speaker 5: I would say it was extremely po and I think

998
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 5: it teary eyed, but it was very positive and it

999
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 5: was like it was like you had met somebody that

1000
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,439
Speaker 5: you you didn't know anything about them, but you knew

1001
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 5: them already. I don't know if that makes it, probably doesn't,

1002
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 5: but like when I met Chris that like a lot

1003
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 5: of the mannerisms you had, so a lot of us

1004
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 5: share a lot of really quirky mannerisms, Like I don't know,

1005
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 5: like how to describe it, like are you old a

1006
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 5: glass in a certain way? When you laugh it kind

1007
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 5: of sounds in a certain way, like your smirk is

1008
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 5: a certain you know, and all those things, especially when

1009
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 5: you grow up the person you didn't try to not

1010
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 5: do it the same way as them. So there definitely

1011
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 5: felt like there was an I remember like the whole

1012
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 5: interaction when I first went Chrystals so vividly, and it

1013
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 5: was a really positive thing. And I had, you know,

1014
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 5: made sure like before I went to meet Christa, you know,

1015
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 5: I wanted to mentally align myself that it get too

1016
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 5: invest in anything, because the last thing that I wanted

1017
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 5: to do was like get really worked up and like,

1018
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 5: oh my god, what if she doesn't like me? If

1019
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 5: I don't like when do we have nothing in common?

1020
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 5: This was a huge waste of time, you know, And

1021
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 5: I think I guess maybe that was helpful for me,

1022
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 5: but like I think it was kind of unproductive because

1023
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 5: it ended up being this super positive experience and that

1024
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 5: I just never could have envisioned happening in my life.

1025
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 2: How does Jeffrey feel about all of it?

1026
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 11: Now?

1027
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 3: You know, I know that he's in India, but like

1028
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 3: does he is he sort of you know, in his

1029
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 3: state of being, Like it's almost like it almost makes sense.

1030
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: He's sort of this wild man, this sort of free.

1031
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 3: Spirited guy who now spread his seed and is it's

1032
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 3: just he's part of the natural order, you.

1033
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 4: Know, I think that's how I see it.

1034
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,959
Speaker 9: I mean, he you know, like I wrote the book

1035
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 9: and it was like part of the destiny of the

1036
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 9: whole thing that like, you know, everything is very mystical.

1037
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 9: He did, like my mom was the Nicheran Shoshu, and

1038
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 9: he was. He did transidental meditation really really intensely.

1039
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 4: And also.

1040
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 5: Well, I mean he'd really he really did believe that

1041
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 5: this would happen one day, Like he truly believes that

1042
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,240
Speaker 5: one day that everyone was going to connect somehow.

1043
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 3: But but but but when he was actually doing it,

1044
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 3: he was doing it for the money or was he

1045
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 3: did he have a bigger correctly, right, he was doing

1046
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 3: for them for the money.

1047
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 4: No, no, no, he's a mystical spin what was like

1048
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 4: a way to make money for his wheat happened he

1049
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 4: got the seed, right, It's like they're also is like

1050
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 4: I feel like and I mean it, this is in

1051
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 4: the sweetest way, but there is like this evolution.

1052
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 9: I feel like when siblings first discover our dad Jeffrey

1053
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 9: sperm Donner, there is like there is just a bit

1054
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 9: of idealization maybe and.

1055
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 4: Then they're just like like a calming down to reality.

1056
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 4: There's he's so sweet and there's so many sweet things.

1057
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 2: Right, well, I need that.

1058
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,720
Speaker 5: He was crazy for me, right, you watch a documentary,

1059
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 5: you know this is like a I'm going to get

1060
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 5: cancel that. But this is a person that's not in

1061
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 5: the same mental space as a lot of us. You

1062
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 5: know that from the beginning. Yeah, And I feel like

1063
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 5: I feel like you think I'm like saying like be like, oh,

1064
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 5: I just was very realistic, like I knew going into it.

1065
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm not going and meeting a person that

1066
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 5: you know, did the traditional like oh, I go to

1067
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 5: school and then I do this and then I have

1068
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 5: a family and one and a half kids and everything.

1069
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 5: I knew this is going to be a person that's unusual,

1070
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 5: you know, so I try to not because I think

1071
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 5: it mentally invested into it. When I go and I

1072
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 5: and I grab a coffee with him or whatever, and

1073
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 5: he starts talking about aliens, I'm like, let's talk about

1074
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 5: alien Yeah, you know, like let's talk about like inter

1075
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 5: dimensional like creatures that are like trying to control. I'm like,

1076
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 5: let's let's just do it, you know, like lean into it.

1077
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 5: And then like, yeah, like you get those moments of

1078
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 5: like mental sobriety where you actually do you get some

1079
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 5: nuggets where he like talks about like what he's.

1080
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 9: Like growing up or like you know, when he talks

1081
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 9: about the past, it's it's it's much more.

1082
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 5: It's very it's very very looseive, you know, and there

1083
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 5: are insights that he has. And like we were actually

1084
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 5: Chris and I were just joking around, like he's feels

1085
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:38,399
Speaker 5: like it feels like he's in on the joke about

1086
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 5: himself sometimes, right, So we talked about how he's like

1087
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 5: aliens and everything, and I remember this story. So we

1088
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 5: were hanging out and a gentleman came up to us

1089
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 5: and was like aggressively accosting, like hey, can you give

1090
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 5: us a cigarette? And you know, Jeffrey's like, no, I

1091
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 5: don't have a cigarette, and you guys like are you judging?

1092
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 5: Like Kingland super aggressive joined me like like like you

1093
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 5: think smoking's bad? And Jeffrey just goes He's like, no, no,

1094
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 5: it's actually really good for you. It's good for your lungs.

1095
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 5: Kind of builds it up, strives in everything. Wait, someone

1096
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 5: like Jeffrey says this, I actually think, I'm like, and

1097
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 5: so he goes away, and I'm like, okay, so like

1098
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,439
Speaker 5: do you actually believe that? And he's like yeah, of course.

1099
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 5: And I'm like he's like are you stupid? And I'm

1100
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 5: like he's like, oh, it's bad for you. Like it's

1101
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 5: this moment of like complete lucidity, like yeah. And I

1102
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 5: was like, how am I supposed to know? You just

1103
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 5: went off about interdimensional reptiles and stuff and now you're

1104
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 5: telling me don't smoke, Like, come on, how am I

1105
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 5: supposed to know? Which part is the crazy?

1106
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: Is he aware of himself?

1107
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 7: Though?

1108
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 5: I mean?

1109
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,359
Speaker 9: Is it's It's like, I mean, we have to put

1110
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 9: our phones away when we spend time with him because

1111
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 9: the FBI or the government might be like listening.

1112
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 4: To the conversation, like how did he get to India?

1113
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 2: Did he have the money to fly there? Like he's

1114
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 2: still as dough.

1115
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 9: He inherited a nice chunk that he ran through in

1116
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 9: a year and now but he decided and so he

1117
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 9: went to India once came back and now decided, you

1118
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 9: really want to go to India again. So yeah, my

1119
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 9: sister and I went to go say goodbye to him.

1120
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 9: But like he'd been talking about going to India for

1121
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 9: like thirty years and never done it. So we we

1122
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 9: literally just thought we were doing a pretend goodbye for

1123
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 9: his sake because he would just be in the same

1124
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 9: place tomorrow.

1125
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 4: But as he was.

1126
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 9: Describing like what he was doing to prep, he had

1127
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:19,800
Speaker 9: like turned all of his money that he'd just inherited

1128
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 9: into gold because you know, currency was about to collapse.

1129
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 4: There was going to be this huge false flag attack

1130
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 4: on the United States, so we had to get to India.

1131
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 9: But then he showed me, like the wig he had

1132
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 9: just bought to disguise himself on the airplane.

1133
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh really.

1134
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 5: He paid?

1135
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 9: And then he paid because he needs to bring all

1136
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 9: of his animals because those are his children, his birds,

1137
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:41,920
Speaker 9: his cats, the whole thing.

1138
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 4: You need to bring them to India. And that was

1139
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 4: like like this is the areas where he's lose it.

1140
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 4: It's like, how did he get through the paperwork of

1141
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 4: being able to bring animals? Like I have no idea

1142
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 4: he can't even do like he brought birds to India.

1143
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 5: Well think about this, right, because it's like it was

1144
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 5: something that like a foreigner couldn't bring an animal, so

1145
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 5: he hated.

1146
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 9: Paid an Indian family to travel with.

1147
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 5: Him to people each of the animals.

1148
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:09,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's wow, wow, this is he's what an interesting

1149
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 3: man because you're right, it's like this these lucid moments

1150
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 3: where he's able to sort of function at a very

1151
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 3: high level organizing something like that.

1152
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I feel like your father

1153
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 1: might be onto something.

1154
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: Maybe we don't throw the baby out.

1155
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe this is like a becoming commonplace that this

1156
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 3: is all happened with with with all these DNA When.

1157
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:35,879
Speaker 5: You think about it, that makes sense, right, because it's

1158
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 5: like how many if a woman is looking for a

1159
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 5: sperm donor, you know they're going to check the summer boxes, right,

1160
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 5: They're gonna it's gonna be height, it's going to need

1161
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 5: to be intelligence, it's going to whatever, And there ends

1162
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 5: up only being a certain number of people, right that

1163
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 5: fit all those characteristics.

1164
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 9: Especially so, but back at that time as well, there

1165
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 9: were a couple of factors no one ever thought people

1166
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 9: would find out right, never fath DNA testing, So everyone

1167
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 9: was just doing this without thinking through any of it.

1168
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 10: Having a kid with someone, or falling in love with someone,

1169
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 10: like really being in love and then finding out that.

1170
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 4: It's your brother or sister.

1171
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 2: Wow, I mean what happened?

1172
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't end this hold on what happened?

1173
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:23,279
Speaker 2: Did was it?

1174
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 3: Was?

1175
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 5: It?

1176
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 8: Was it like?

1177
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:25,320
Speaker 4: Did it get weird?

1178
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:26,720
Speaker 1: Or was it sad?

1179
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 5: Or was like?

1180
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 4: What was the It was super weird.

1181
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 9: It was also compounded by the fact that this person

1182
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 9: had a very close relationship to the father that had

1183
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 9: raised them, and I didn't want to be the person

1184
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 9: to shatter that relationship by like saying that there was

1185
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 9: possibly a lie at the heart like that hadn't been told.

1186
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 9: So not only did I have to like deal with

1187
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 9: it psychologically and obviously break up with the person, but

1188
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 9: then also I couldn't process it with him, which would

1189
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 9: have been the most therapeutic there was because I didn't

1190
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 9: want to bring with me.

1191
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:08,240
Speaker 2: What's wrong, Like, well, I'm your sister.

1192
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 5: The worst ever, that's not the worst life.

1193
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 2: It is totally so crazy.

1194
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 9: And I know there's there's not more regulation now that's

1195
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 9: one of the bizarre So there's still no self regulated.

1196
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 4: It is so a sperm bank will tell you we'll

1197
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 4: retire a donor after thirty pregnancies, but there's like no five.

1198
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 5: They usually tell them five. I think that's where. Yeah,

1199
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 5: I think I told everybody five. And like there was

1200
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 5: one family that paid a very very large amount of

1201
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 5: money one of our one of our siblings to buy

1202
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 5: all of the samples remaining. And there have still been siblings.

1203
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 5: You know that wow, because they're just like.

1204
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 4: Sure, throw it all.

1205
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 2: So you have like siblings who are is worth money? Right,

1206
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 2: I'm fascinating, Like I want to know everybody now. I

1207
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 2: want to.

1208
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 3: I weirdly want to become Jeffrey. I don't know, I

1209
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: like I want to like donate.

1210
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 2: Now, I want to.

1211
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 4: You know what, I think there is some weird male urge.

1212
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 11: Yeah, it's just like meed and multiply No, I know,

1213
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 11: you know, I have a few more questions then we'll

1214
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 11: get out of here, but but wondering about your connection

1215
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 11: as siblings, like is it so much based on this

1216
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 11: moment and this experience or have you been able to

1217
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 11: get past all that now now you're just homies and

1218
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 11: your siblings and your friends and you love each other.

1219
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 3: Or is it still really rooted in this in this

1220
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 3: story as far as your conversations go, and we would I.

1221
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 4: Mean, I don't want to speak for you, but I

1222
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 4: feel like it's just fun to hang out.

1223
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 5: It's super fun to hang out. I mean, And what

1224
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 5: I would say is is like I hang out with

1225
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 5: all my siblings in different kind of ways, right, like

1226
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 5: me and Hector And the longest time Hector really didn't

1227
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 5: talk to that's the.

1228
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 4: One that had the Mexican heritage, and it's like.

1229
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 5: All could we would like get together and we would

1230
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 5: watch mm A and just bullshit for hours, and we

1231
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 5: we never even really talked about the whole sibling.

1232
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 4: I think it's also just like men but like very male,

1233
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 4: like let's not process anything talking about something.

1234
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 5: Like best friend with pacas we were with the like

1235
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 5: we did all this, we did. We probably did this

1236
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,800
Speaker 5: like over a dozen times before we ever even spoke

1237
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 5: about sibling Jeffrey or anything.

1238
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: He a socialist.

1239
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 5: Oh, he's actually a socialist. Yeah, yeah, of course he's

1240
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 5: actually a super I had a feeling farm farm, right,

1241
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 5: But then I have there's another sister who's like not

1242
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 5: as close with everybody, but she and I we just

1243
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 5: we share political memes every day. That's all we do.

1244
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 5: We're sorry about politics stuff. And it's like because she's

1245
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 5: like conservative and she's like, I think all the other conservatives,

1246
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 5: not the only one, but one of the only other

1247
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 5: ones in the group, and it's like, you know, we

1248
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 5: all have our other thing.

1249
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,919
Speaker 9: I think Chris and I, like I had, we argued

1250
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 9: about politics first relationship.

1251
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, really, but I have.

1252
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 9: A back way because he's like really informed and intelligent.

1253
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,440
Speaker 9: I'm like, I love to hear the other side and

1254
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 9: informed it. It might still make me angry, right, but

1255
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 9: it's like providing me. It's like sharpening my views a

1256
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 9: little bit because I have to like really, well, that.

1257
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 4: That was it, you know, it was peak.

1258
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,880
Speaker 9: Everyone was fighting about this because Trump was in office.

1259
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 9: It was like peak family fighting over Yes, now we

1260
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 9: don't talk about.

1261
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 2: That as no.

1262
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 5: Well, I mean I think one of the things that

1263
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,800
Speaker 5: changed those right, Like I have a nineteen month now. Yeah,

1264
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 5: And I feel like that that's like that it's like

1265
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 5: kind of weird where like that's something you now you

1266
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 5: really have someone to relate to. It's like you can

1267
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 5: really talk to you about kind thing stuck with and

1268
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 5: so nice. Yeah, I mean I feel like it's it's

1269
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 5: really moved past just the Jeffrey story. Obviously, there's that's

1270
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 5: always an underlying current of like joking around like, oh

1271
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 5: we doing are we both going through this? Think as

1272
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,720
Speaker 5: a Jeffrey, Are we doing this as Jeffrey? Like are

1273
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 5: our kids having this trade? Because that's a little thing,

1274
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 5: but it's kind of like in a way a joke

1275
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 5: or like a kind of thing that you kind of

1276
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 5: like bond over versus being like the core reason for

1277
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 5: why you are like hang out with each other and

1278
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 5: talking with each other. Right, Like at the end of

1279
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 5: the day, Look, we live in la We have huge

1280
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 5: friend circles. We could we could never spend a day

1281
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 5: together and have you know, everything to do. Like, we

1282
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 5: choose to hang out with each other because we want to, right,

1283
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 5: you know, it's a voluntary when you have all these

1284
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 5: other options, right, And I think that that's one of

1285
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 5: the great things about once you become an adult, you

1286
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 5: get to set the standard of what your relationship to

1287
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 5: your family is. And it's been really empowering to have

1288
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 5: all these siblings now and I can foster this relationship

1289
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 5: and everything, and yeah, it's really fun.

1290
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 10: I answer your quat, do people come to you now

1291
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 10: in similar situations kind of seeking? Like do you get

1292
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 10: a lot of people that like are sharing their stories

1293
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 10: with you, Krista.

1294
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 4: I get a lot.

1295
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 9: I wouldn't say, just you know, they're they're like batches

1296
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 9: of people, Like I get a lot of you know,

1297
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 9: random emails and messages now from people that are like, yeah,

1298
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 9: that have new donor you know, realized they were donor

1299
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 9: conceived and they're just meaning their siblings and the book

1300
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 9: helped them to process it. But also there's like a

1301
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 9: whole other cohort of people that just came from like

1302
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 9: either alcoholic or dysfunctional families and they're like, wow, I

1303
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 9: didn't realize how much I was impacted by my mom's alcoholism,

1304
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 9: or like, oh wow, I never told anyone that my

1305
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 9: dad has mental illness and this is how like and

1306
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 9: it was just so nice to like hear an open

1307
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:51,880
Speaker 9: story about that. Or so there's a whole bunch. I mean,

1308
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 9: I think that's just memoir in general. Why I love

1309
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 9: it so much.

1310
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how old are your kids?

1311
01:01:58,680 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 4: Five and seven?

1312
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 2: And then and what about the five and seven? Who's

1313
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 2: you know Grandpa? You know what I mean? Like this

1314
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 2: is Jeffrey going to pull any part in their life?

1315
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 9: I I wanted them to meet him, and so we

1316
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 9: met on like a park place set with my older son,

1317
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 9: who's sort of like at this point, he's like, oh, hi, Auntie.

1318
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 9: You know, he's like meeting a new aunt or uncle often.

1319
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 9: And he was so little that I don't even think

1320
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 9: he attached a lot to Grandpa. But but I wanted

1321
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 9: him to meet him, and I wanted to give my

1322
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 9: dad the opportunity to meet him.

1323
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,920
Speaker 4: But my dad was so uncomfortable. He just kind of

1324
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 4: didn't know what to do, and like he he's very shock.

1325
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 9: He's very shocked, and so he so he wound up

1326
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 9: like seeing a dog pass by that belonged to someone else,

1327
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 9: and then he just like was like, you know he

1328
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 9: can he can interact with animals way better than human beings.

1329
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1330
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 10: Interesting, So you guys, just family reunions would be like

1331
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 10: three hundred three thousand.

1332
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 1: Cousins, like in in about twenty years, it's.

1333
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 2: Going to be Yeah, like you just rent out like

1334
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 2: Staples Center.

1335
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:12,800
Speaker 4: Okay, it's to the point where I can remember names.

1336
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure.

1337
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1338
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 10: So what would be the silver lining of everything that's

1339
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 10: come out of this for both of you?

1340
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:20,760
Speaker 5: Oh?

1341
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1342
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 4: Wait, go ahead, you go.

1343
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 5: Well, you know, I had no like, I had no

1344
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 5: idea what to expect. And my whole concept, the whole

1345
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 5: reason why I never even took a DNA tests, even

1346
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 5: though essentially my entire life I've known about this whole

1347
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 5: thing was that I only had native expectations, and I

1348
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 5: only had expectations that I was either going to be

1349
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 5: disappointed or I was going to disrupt somebody else's life

1350
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 5: and everything, and that couldn't be further from the truth, right, Like,

1351
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 5: I've developed a bunch of really great relationships with people

1352
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,800
Speaker 5: that I would have never probably never had a chance

1353
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 5: to meet. And it's it's honestly, it made me. It

1354
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 5: was just exactly a decision factor in my own family

1355
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 5: whether or not we're going to have, you know, other children,

1356
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 5: is because how positive this whole experience has been getting

1357
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 5: me a sibling, and it's something I always wanted, but

1358
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 5: I was kind of afraid of, you know, especially didn't

1359
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 5: want to do it out of circumstances. I was like

1360
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 5: a person invading someone else's family and everything, and I

1361
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 5: don't know everything about it's being really positive, you know,

1362
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:23,480
Speaker 5: And it is Jeffrey like the father a father figure. No,

1363
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 5: obviously not right, but I did have that expectation going

1364
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 5: into it, you know. But it's it's Chris or the

1365
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 5: sister probably you know, it's Hector the brother, yeah, probably

1366
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 5: you know, and all my other siblings. Yeah, like they're

1367
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:36,840
Speaker 5: all it's they're all really interesting people, and it's it's

1368
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 5: given me an area of my life a lot of

1369
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 5: fulfillment that I never instructed.

1370
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 2: Is Hector the hottest sibling. I feel like Hector is

1371
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:44,120
Speaker 2: pretty hot.

1372
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 4: He's very He's like he's like.

1373
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 5: Mean, I'm not a male model. Like then there's there's

1374
01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 5: love's right.

1375
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 3: I just feel like Hector is like this dark, flowy hair,

1376
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 3: like hot with like running without pack.

1377
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 5: It's a like I remember like when people show your siblings.

1378
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,320
Speaker 5: Remember there's certain siblings where people like damn, like wait

1379
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,840
Speaker 5: that's your si A great, but that's your brother. I'm like, Okay, Hey, stop, stop,

1380
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 5: what about you Christa?

1381
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that I think that was beautiful.

1382
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 9: Like I think it's yeah, seeing things in a positive

1383
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 9: light and like being curious rather than putting all those

1384
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 9: judgments on it would definitely be.

1385
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 4: Be one aspect of it.

1386
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,880
Speaker 9: And then I think, you know, everyone has uh a

1387
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 9: dysfunction in their family and some in some way, and

1388
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:43,360
Speaker 9: I think feeling less shame about that and being more

1389
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:46,040
Speaker 9: open and you just sort of realize that how much

1390
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 9: more universal some of those feelings and experiences are, even

1391
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 9: if the details are different.

1392
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean this whole thing. I'm very open with

1393
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 5: when I meet people, telling people about those story and everything.

1394
01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,440
Speaker 5: Like when someone says, oh, do you have a brother,

1395
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 5: it's just sure, I decided, yeah, I have about like

1396
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 5: forty I'm like, I feel very comfortable tell about it.

1397
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 5: And what I've noticed is is like when you're really

1398
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:10,760
Speaker 5: open about like personal I mean, I'm not suggesting people

1399
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 5: start over sharing for whatever, but like it makes other

1400
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 5: people feel comfortable sharing their own experiences that maybe before

1401
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 5: they like I can't tell you how many people I've

1402
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 5: had tell me like, Okay, actually you know I'm either

1403
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 5: adopted or I'm donor conceived or whatever, and it's like, oh,

1404
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,520
Speaker 5: this is something I like they've kept like inside them,

1405
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 5: like their entire lives and they've never felt comfortable talking

1406
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,400
Speaker 5: about it. You know, I don't know. For me, it's

1407
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,440
Speaker 5: like I guess a former therapy and like it seems

1408
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 5: like that's like for a lot of people.

1409
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, yeah, awesome to speed round, to do your

1410
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 10: speed round. Sure, okay, you guys, first impression of the

1411
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 10: other this is.

1412
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 2: This is gonna be a good one, just in general.

1413
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:54,120
Speaker 5: Smart, trying to psychoanalyze me.

1414
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:58,439
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1415
01:06:58,800 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 5: Okay.

1416
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 10: One word to this decribe your relationship now, stimulating.

1417
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:06,520
Speaker 5: That's a really good one. Stimulating.

1418
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 2: You can't copy me in copy but bullshit, dude, just bullshit.

1419
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:16,360
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't I think this is too.

1420
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 1: There's a lot of words. There's a lot of words

1421
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:20,080
Speaker 1: you could use.

1422
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 5: Just say m m A.

1423
01:07:21,520 --> 01:07:22,520
Speaker 4: Just what kind of.

1424
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,840
Speaker 5: Uh No, it's very loving you.

1425
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 1: Yes, okay. The thing you have most in common.

1426
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:38,600
Speaker 5: For getting the charge our phones. We're very forgetful.

1427
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:48,480
Speaker 9: Uh I would say, like like intellectually engaged. Yeah, we're

1428
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:49,800
Speaker 9: curious about things.

1429
01:07:50,240 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 4: Curious.

1430
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,919
Speaker 1: One word to describe your childhood.

1431
01:07:57,840 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 4: Colorful.

1432
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:06,600
Speaker 5: That's a fun word to describe it, Uh, tough, dysfunctional.

1433
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need to write a book too, I know

1434
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:12,080
Speaker 1: you cathartic.

1435
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 2: You and Hector should write a book.

1436
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:19,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, like side by side or like who are you

1437
01:08:19,479 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 1: closest in age two?

1438
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,640
Speaker 5: Well, there's like I think six of us all are

1439
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 5: like born the same year.

1440
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:25,719
Speaker 4: That's crazy.

1441
01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,200
Speaker 2: Anyone have the same birthday as that we have.

1442
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 5: Yeah? Wow, I actually went with someone that's married to

1443
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 5: one of our siblings.

1444
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 3: Wait, wait what I went to school with somebody I

1445
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 3: would Oh my god, that's so weird.

1446
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:43,799
Speaker 4: It's so crazy.

1447
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 2: This this would go on forever. It will go on,

1448
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:47,280
Speaker 2: go on forever and ever.

1449
01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 9: Funny because they're like recently, I went to lunch with

1450
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 9: someone who knows the sister I grew up with and

1451
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,360
Speaker 9: was asking if he could, like how to get in

1452
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:57,560
Speaker 9: with her on a date or something. And I was like,

1453
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,960
Speaker 9: you know, I don't think that's going to work out

1454
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,639
Speaker 9: for you, but I do have like twenty other ones.

1455
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 2: You should start a dating service that sibling.

1456
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 10: Last question, what is one quality of your sibling that

1457
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:18,360
Speaker 10: you wish that you had.

1458
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:27,920
Speaker 5: More of for yourself? Yeah? Your thoughtfulness? Oh, you're.

1459
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 9: You have a great memory for facts and it makes

1460
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:35,120
Speaker 9: arguing you seem very difficult, so I wish that I

1461
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:36,759
Speaker 9: also had the same memory.

1462
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:37,920
Speaker 2: That's a good one.

1463
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,719
Speaker 5: That was the easiest one, by the way, I feel

1464
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,599
Speaker 5: like I srew up laying around, but like, yeah, your

1465
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 5: thoughtfulness is like I'm just very jealous of it.

1466
01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 2: To be honest, Like I want to be like the

1467
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 2: back here, there's still time.

1468
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:53,800
Speaker 4: That's very thoughtful. Yeah, that's very sweet. Thank you, Well

1469
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 4: you guys.

1470
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,639
Speaker 2: This was really fat. I mean it was so fun.

1471
01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 10: It was so fun and wild, and I can't believe

1472
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:07,120
Speaker 10: of how crazy your life has been. Christa, I mean, Evan,

1473
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 10: I would look forward to knowing more about yours, but

1474
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:12,760
Speaker 10: I mean amazing that you've come through all of that

1475
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:16,280
Speaker 10: and that you're here and having fun and talking about

1476
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 10: all of this and like laughing with your brother and

1477
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:19,839
Speaker 10: newfound brother.

1478
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 4: And it's pretty incredible.

1479
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:22,799
Speaker 2: It it is pretty amazing.

1480
01:10:23,280 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, we had a dad who kind of

1481
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:27,360
Speaker 3: left for a little bit and I got all fucked up.

1482
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 10: You have you.

1483
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:33,639
Speaker 2: Have had a lot more.

1484
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 1: Ye what's your problem?

1485
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:37,720
Speaker 2: Respect? What's wrong with me?

1486
01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:41,280
Speaker 4: But thank you so much.

1487
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 2: This was so fun, so fun.

1488
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:47,080
Speaker 4: Really, thank you, thank you guys. I really appreciate Yeah.

1489
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 3: Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson.

1490
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:56,759
Speaker 2: Producer is Alison President, editor is Josh Wendish.

1491
01:10:57,080 --> 01:11:00,639
Speaker 1: Music by Mark Hudson aka Uncle Mark.

1492
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:02,720
Speaker 2: If you want to show us some love, rate the

1493
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 2: show and leave us a review. This show is powered

1494
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:06,160
Speaker 2: by Simplecast