Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into
Speaker 1: the Vitamin D with Dawn Day Podcast and I am
Speaker 1: your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about
Speaker 1: your life so that you can live life on purpose
Speaker 1: and for a purpose. And this is your first time
Speaker 1: tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon of our name.
Speaker 1: My name is Dawn and you get Vitamin D from
Speaker 1: the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life.
Speaker 1: And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with
Speaker 1: celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if
Speaker 1: you want to be better and you want to do better,
Speaker 1: then you're going to have to be able to see better.
Speaker 1: So join me on this journey of living our best
Speaker 1: lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest
Speaker 1: assad Have you ever really thought what you're asking for?
Speaker 1: Like what is it going to require of you to
Speaker 1: receive it, to achieve it, to be it, whatever that
Speaker 1: thing is? Because they say asking you shall receive, seek
Speaker 1: and you shall find, knock and the door will be
Speaker 1: answered to you. This is what it said it. But
Speaker 1: how has the time I'm wondering, like, are we really
Speaker 1: ready what it is? That we're asking for, not that
Speaker 1: it's bad, but it's just to be prepared. What do
Speaker 1: they say, proper preparation prevents pissport performance? Huh lights camera action.
Speaker 1: We're living in the now now. For me personally, what
Speaker 1: I realized is that I've been talking about how I
Speaker 1: want to up level my discernment now what I didn't
Speaker 1: take in consideration of what that would feel like and
Speaker 1: exactly what that looks like, but more importantly what that
Speaker 1: feels like, and how I have to respect myself because
Speaker 1: when you know better, it's required of you to do better,
Speaker 1: and you would be a fool not too right. And
Speaker 1: I asked for this, I asked to be better. So
Speaker 1: now I'm charging myself because I'm holding myself accountable now
Speaker 1: with this level of discernment. As I can see it's
Speaker 1: up leveling. Is that I feel so much now. I
Speaker 1: can be disobedient to myself. I could disrespect myself, I
Speaker 1: could not honor myself and ignore what it is that
Speaker 1: I feel when making my decisions m But I want
Speaker 1: to make my here good. I want to make sure
Speaker 1: that I'm going exceedingly at me on for more than
Speaker 1: what I could ever imagine. So as I taken consideration
Speaker 1: of what this discernment feels like. I gotta catch it.
Speaker 1: I'm noticing, how truly Now I've said this before, but
Speaker 1: how truly not everyone can get so close to me?
Speaker 1: Because now I can feel the residue a bit more.
Speaker 1: It's pulling on me a bit more. And now as
Speaker 1: I am becoming more in tune with it, I'm catching
Speaker 1: it before I make the decision, which that is what
Speaker 1: it's there for. But even as I don't necessarily follow
Speaker 1: my throat and I go through with it, I realized,
Speaker 1: coming on the other side, I said, well, damn, that's
Speaker 1: what it is that I felt. And I'm realizing it's
Speaker 1: only getting more intensified. And it's only getting more intensified.
Speaker 1: Pay It's what I asked for. What are you asking for?
Speaker 1: Is it being revealed to you? Wait? Let me ask
Speaker 1: you this. Are you choosing and allowing yourself to see it?
Speaker 1: Because what do I say? If you want to be
Speaker 1: better and you want to do better, you have to
Speaker 1: be able to see better. Are your eyes open? Huh?
Speaker 1: Are your ears open? Huh? Is your heart open? A
Speaker 1: time to be in there? Now? It is the present,
Speaker 1: So allow it to be the gift, get your right
Speaker 1: in right with me, I get excited about it's been
Speaker 1: a minute. Then I've done an advice letter. And I
Speaker 1: told you, Mike, I said, you are Maya deren my
Speaker 1: Elijah Harris. Do we have an advice letter? He said, don't.
Speaker 1: We got three? I said, okay, well bring it, bring it,
Speaker 1: don't know, bring it, don't know. Over Now, it's been
Speaker 1: quite some time that I've done an advice letter. And
Speaker 1: if this is the first episode that you're checking in on,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. So I have this thing
Speaker 1: called advice letters where I employ listeners and viewers to
Speaker 1: go ahead and write in about the relationships. Career advice
Speaker 1: are different things that they're going on asking for some
Speaker 1: vitamin D insight. Now, I want to be clear with
Speaker 1: you because I said keep it G with me. I
Speaker 1: keep it G with you when you write in with
Speaker 1: me or to me. I want you to understand it's
Speaker 1: not gonna always be rainbows and butterflies and not saying
Speaker 1: that I'm coming in at tech, but you're coming in
Speaker 1: for some light, right, And what do I say? If
Speaker 1: you want to be better and you want to do better,
Speaker 1: you have to be able to see better. So we're
Speaker 1: gonna be looking at all angles some things that you
Speaker 1: may not want to be exposed. I know, I know,
Speaker 1: but we got to talk about it because we're coming
Speaker 1: through with authenticity. Okay, So now that we got that clear,
Speaker 1: let's get to this letter. Uh subject. He likes it,
Speaker 1: but he hasn't put a ring on it. Hi, Dawn,
Speaker 1: I am twenty five years old and I have been
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for eight years now.
Speaker 1: Being with him has been the greatest love I have
Speaker 1: ever experienced, and I pray that we always be together.
Speaker 1: With everything we have been through, I've started to feel
Speaker 1: worried that he hasn't asked me to marry him yet.
Speaker 1: I've flat out asked him if he wants to get married,
Speaker 1: and his response was that I am the woman he
Speaker 1: wants to be with for the rest of his life,
Speaker 1: and that the idea of marriage is nothing more than
Speaker 1: legal paperwork and that doesn't add anything to a relationship.
Speaker 1: We are very public with our relationships, so we have
Speaker 1: pictures posted online and share how long we have been together,
Speaker 1: and because of this, we get commentary from people asking
Speaker 1: why we haven't gotten married yet. I've explained how he
Speaker 1: feels about marriage, and most people stop asking further questions.
Speaker 1: But it's clear as day that they feel sorry for me.
Speaker 1: I'm not stupid. I can see it on their faces,
Speaker 1: and I noticed how they immediately change the subject so
Speaker 1: we can talk about something else. I know my boyfriend
Speaker 1: loves me, but it's been really hard not to start
Speaker 1: to feel doubt, especially when I've seen videos of women
Speaker 1: who share the same experience with me with not being
Speaker 1: proposed to, and also women who have been dune by
Speaker 1: their men after being with them for as long as
Speaker 1: I have. I understand my boyfriend's reasoning, but I've always
Speaker 1: dreamed of being walked down the aisle. I've tried, but
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling with accepting the idea that I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be able to call him my husband. I
Speaker 1: love him so much. Done, I don't know what to do. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say exactly what you need to do,
Speaker 1: but what I'm going to give you are some things
Speaker 1: to think about. How about that? Yeah? All right, so
Speaker 1: it's only five You've been in this relationship for eight years,
Speaker 1: so what does that put you at? Like seven? Seen?
Speaker 1: All right? Cool? You had this thing you said doing
Speaker 1: I want to always be together. I'm like, all right, cool,
Speaker 1: because you want to love. Why wish you ever want
Speaker 1: to be depart from the love of your life? Right now?
Speaker 1: This is where I got a chime in and you're
Speaker 1: probably like, oh my god's done. I didn't expect that
Speaker 1: from you. Well, you said to him, you said, I
Speaker 1: am a woman. You stated that you are the woman
Speaker 1: that he wants to be with for the rest of
Speaker 1: his life. But he's acknowledged the fact that he does
Speaker 1: not want to get married. Now I can agree with
Speaker 1: him on this. I was just talking to a home
Speaker 1: girl the other day, probably like two days ago, and
Speaker 1: I have made the statement. Now, granted I'm not in love.
Speaker 1: I have not been in a relationship eight years. But
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, girl, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I need to get married. Well, well, let me rephrase this.
Speaker 1: I understand the purpose of getting married if we are
Speaker 1: building something and we're starting a business. If we're not
Speaker 1: doing that, then why are we getting married Because it
Speaker 1: sounds is it sounds as if it's tying up a
Speaker 1: lot of paperwork, a lot of legalities, And if you're
Speaker 1: not building something there, then what is the purpose Now,
Speaker 1: So that that's where I come in on that front, right,
Speaker 1: so you get my direction? No, no, not not no,
Speaker 1: this is where the light is gonna be shipped a
Speaker 1: little bit. Okay, these are some things that really stuck
Speaker 1: out to me. Uh and let me just say that
Speaker 1: what I gather from this is that an operation or
Speaker 1: coming from a space of insecurity, because I am reading
Speaker 1: that you are seeking validation outside of your relationship. You
Speaker 1: go on to say, you said hey Dawn. You didn't
Speaker 1: say hey Dawn, but basically you said, we get commentary
Speaker 1: from people asking us why haven't we gotten married? And
Speaker 1: then this is the thing that that got me. You said,
Speaker 1: I've explained whoa no way eating the manute? Why are
Speaker 1: you explaining yourself to other people? Why do they deserve
Speaker 1: an explanation about how you choose to live your life?
Speaker 1: M hm, they can't live your life for you. Now,
Speaker 1: you go on to say, it's as clear as day
Speaker 1: that they feel sorry for me. I'm not stupid. I
Speaker 1: can see it in their faces. Again, why are you
Speaker 1: caring what other people think about your relationship? Sounds like
Speaker 1: you're in the business of being concerned with things look
Speaker 1: like versus what they feel like. See, I had to
Speaker 1: say it like that because there's no question, or at
Speaker 1: least what I received based on what you have written
Speaker 1: to me, is that it's not a question as to
Speaker 1: whether or not he loves you. The only question is
Speaker 1: that whether or not he can I want to say,
Speaker 1: show up, but let me not show up, but whether
Speaker 1: or not he is willing to change his values to
Speaker 1: appease yours. Now you go on to say that you
Speaker 1: know that he loves you. Okay, if you know that
Speaker 1: he loves you, that you posted pictures online, that he's
Speaker 1: not like he's hiding you. Why are we so concerned
Speaker 1: about this paperwork? And not because you shouldn't be concerned,
Speaker 1: but more so if it's something that he is not
Speaker 1: willing to give you. See, I say it like that
Speaker 1: because I think oftentimes, or even situations, not even just relationships,
Speaker 1: we walk in things trying to change them versus accepting
Speaker 1: and making room for them to operate as they are
Speaker 1: and then allowing things to grow. Let me give you
Speaker 1: a caveat. I heard a while back. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: from Detroit, and you know the automotive industry is booming
Speaker 1: there and Henry Ford built the first card Detroit. Uh.
Speaker 1: They said that When he would interview people to work
Speaker 1: for him, he would take them out to eat based
Speaker 1: on how they would eat their food would be based
Speaker 1: on whether or not he felt as if he can
Speaker 1: work with them. Don't Where are you getting at? What
Speaker 1: are you talking about? Well, I'm glad you asked. See,
Speaker 1: Henry Ford has this mindset of observing, making rome for
Speaker 1: other people, and depending on how they would eat their
Speaker 1: meal would determine as to how they would approach his business.
Speaker 1: An individual that has coming in before they even check
Speaker 1: the temperature, even taste to see what's on the plate.
Speaker 1: They just started at a season. You probably know people
Speaker 1: like that before they can even give it. What a sault? That?
Speaker 1: Give me some little pepper? You've got some garlic powder?
Speaker 1: Rather than just seeing how things operate. See, that's what
Speaker 1: I talk about. What you gotta make room for people.
Speaker 1: You gotta make room for people. Say that you can
Speaker 1: see a three sixty view, so that you're not coming
Speaker 1: in with this false expectation, because half the time that's
Speaker 1: where the disappointment comes in. At I never once heard
Speaker 1: you say that he cheated on you, that he was
Speaker 1: holding secrets with you, that he wasn't communicating with you,
Speaker 1: that he's trying to hide. You know, the concern that
Speaker 1: you have is that he is clear about what it
Speaker 1: is that he wants. So then I have to ask you,
Speaker 1: what is it that you want? Okay, don I want him?
Speaker 1: Do you really? Do you really want this relationship? Because
Speaker 1: I'm like in other situations and situation ships, people don't
Speaker 1: necessarily communicate, but what it is that they want? Now
Speaker 1: I get it. You said that, Hey, I'm desiring this marriage,
Speaker 1: But now what happens that he comes in he says, Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get married. What do you do
Speaker 1: with that? Now? You say, I'm struggling with accepting the
Speaker 1: idea that I'm not going to be able to call
Speaker 1: him my husband. Everyone, I'm Otie and we are investors
Speaker 1: in Tenoral Seller's wine company. He sort of like sharing.
Speaker 1: Subscribed to the Vitamin D with down Day podcast available
Speaker 1: wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Well, where did the
Speaker 1: idea come from? Because it sounds like you're creating this
Speaker 1: world from the world that he said It doesn't get
Speaker 1: exist in his realm. If marriage is not on the table,
Speaker 1: what are you expecting to be served? I want you
Speaker 1: to really think about that. I find sometimes that we
Speaker 1: call so much confusion with ourselves because we choose not
Speaker 1: to see what's in front of us, we choose not
Speaker 1: to receive what's in front of us. We choose to
Speaker 1: dishonor ourselves. You said, darn, I love him so much.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. You said you want
Speaker 1: to get married. The question becomes is he the one? Furthermore,
Speaker 1: you're gonna sit here and try to change him, which
Speaker 1: probably will result in a level of resentment because he
Speaker 1: said what it is that he wants. And I feel
Speaker 1: like that's a beautiful thing about a relationship, when you
Speaker 1: can partner with somebody that's aligned with the things that
Speaker 1: you want. Now, do you feel as though that maybe
Speaker 1: you gave yourself a disadvantage because earlier on in the
Speaker 1: letter you said, I pray that we will always be together. Hi,
Speaker 1: we gotta be clear about what it is that we're
Speaker 1: asking for. You know, we have this idea of what
Speaker 1: we think things are supposed to be, but we really
Speaker 1: need to delve in what it is that we're asking for.
Speaker 1: So I ask you, what are you asking for? Furthermore,
Speaker 1: do you really know what it is that you want?
Speaker 1: Because if you have all the medians for a relationship
Speaker 1: that can last. What is marriage gonna do for you?
Speaker 1: Did you think that was gonna stop him if you
Speaker 1: ever thought that he was cheating? Did you think that
Speaker 1: paperwork was going to prevent him from engaging in those actions?
Speaker 1: Did you think that the paperwork was gonna make him
Speaker 1: communicate with you better? Or furthermore, do you feel as
Speaker 1: though the paperwork is gonna solidify the pictures and all
Speaker 1: of the love that he shows you out in public
Speaker 1: and on social media. I just want to know, because
Speaker 1: you say, Hey, Dawn, what do I do? You said, Hey, Dawn,
Speaker 1: he likes it, but he hasn't put a ring on it. Sis?
Speaker 1: What do you want? Sis? Do you honor yourself? Sis?
Speaker 1: I ask you these questions because you come with me
Speaker 1: and you say what it is that you want? But
Speaker 1: yet you're seeking it from a well that looks as
Speaker 1: though it is dry, not dry with love, but dry.
Speaker 1: What it is that you're seeking? Meaning you're looking for
Speaker 1: something in the lost and found and guess what, it's
Speaker 1: not there? So what do you want? It comes down
Speaker 1: to the fact, do you want this relationship with him
Speaker 1: and what he can offer you? Because you're trying to
Speaker 1: pull something out the sky forcing somebody's hand. That ain't
Speaker 1: gonna work. Since furthermore, I want to highlight, punctuate bold
Speaker 1: the idea of what I see hovering over this letter.
Speaker 1: And it's no shame because we shouldn't like it's a
Speaker 1: bit of insecurity, baby, And I say that because you
Speaker 1: are so concerned with Everybody thinks you are so concerned
Speaker 1: with everything. Looks like you will never be happy that way. See,
Speaker 1: we have to really tap into how we feel, and
Speaker 1: that shouldn't be based on any outside of work. It's
Speaker 1: the work that we do inside because once we're done
Speaker 1: with being outside, we still have to sit with ourselves
Speaker 1: and guess what. You can try to run. You can
Speaker 1: try to add, but you're not gonna go too far
Speaker 1: because you argue period. So Dawn, I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do since I'm gonna have to say, You're gonna
Speaker 1: have to choose you in this situation, and choosing you
Speaker 1: means being honest with yourself, and it means honoring yourself.
Speaker 1: Being honest is the fact that yes, you've been in
Speaker 1: this relationship for eight years, but also this man doesn't
Speaker 1: want to get married. Honoring yourself looks like, hey, if
Speaker 1: I'm at the table and they're not serving me what
Speaker 1: I need, what I want. It's time to go. So
Speaker 1: how long are you gonna? Hey, your food gonna get cold,
Speaker 1: and at that point, what's the point of eating it?
Speaker 1: So miss he likes it, but he hasn't put a
Speaker 1: ring on it. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Speaker 1: Time is of the essence. Happiness is of the essence.
Speaker 1: No better yet, joy is of the essence because that
Speaker 1: deals that type of peace. Make room to accept him
Speaker 1: for who he is, see him for who he is.
Speaker 1: And I need you to decide how you want to
Speaker 1: show up. How does that sound? So I can't tell
Speaker 1: you exactly what you should do, but I think that
Speaker 1: it's imperative that you honor yourself. And that looks like
Speaker 1: being confident. That looks like being honest, and that looks
Speaker 1: like loving yourself of enough to know that if it
Speaker 1: doesn't serve you, it doesn't deserve you. Okay, I know,
Speaker 1: I hope I didn't discourage anybody else to write a letter.
Speaker 1: But that's what I have to give to her, because
Speaker 1: you know, we just go into different situations at times
Speaker 1: expecting something that simply isn't there. We find ourselves in
Speaker 1: a level or a moment of disappointment, and guess what,
Speaker 1: we only have ourselves to blame. But listen, if you
Speaker 1: were listening, you're like, Dawn, I need some advice. I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to email me vitamin D at
Speaker 1: Dawn day Speaks dot com and we will definitely put
Speaker 1: that in the email back in. Furthermore, if you like
Speaker 1: to be a guest or if you have a topic
Speaker 1: on the show, I wanted to encourage you to email
Speaker 1: us again Vitamin D at Dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay,
Speaker 1: and can you tell somebody to tell somebody that Dawn
Speaker 1: Day got a podcast. It's called Vitamin D with Dawn Day.
Speaker 1: And it's available not somewhere, not over there, not sometimes
Speaker 1: it's available wherever. However, whenever you get your favorite podcasts,
Speaker 1: you know, this is a dream of mine, and if
Speaker 1: it serves you, can you ensure that you make it
Speaker 1: accessible for somebody else. I'd appreciate you. And probably if
Speaker 1: you shared it, that means you you must have liked it.
Speaker 1: So do me one more again. They got these ratings
Speaker 1: on there. You see the stars and maybe it's hearts,
Speaker 1: but it's not that you can rate go ahead and
Speaker 1: put a five on that. Make a little comment. So
Speaker 1: if somebody comes across they and say, wow, don't inspire
Speaker 1: me Wow doing made me feel good? Wow doing his
Speaker 1: owner something. I told you're gonna be bigging and open.
Speaker 1: You better catch you on now. Hey, uh, if you'd
Speaker 1: like to check us out, we'll see what's going on
Speaker 1: in the studio. I encourage you to follow us on
Speaker 1: all social media at Vitamin D Dawn Day. We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok,
Speaker 1: fan based, Pinterest, we outs and if you want some
Speaker 1: original Vitamin D like from the source, which is me,
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to follow me on all
Speaker 1: social media at dawn Day speaks. All right, I'm about
Speaker 1: to get out of here. You know, I always say
Speaker 1: I'm in the business of making dreams come true, and
Speaker 1: I'm damn sure I ain't gonna forget about mine. So
Speaker 1: until next time, always remember you and your greatest that's
Speaker 1: at get your iteminy right here with me, and get
Speaker 1: excited about your lives.