1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve camera. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stuff Mom never told you? 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: From housetop works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline. And Caroline neither you nor 5 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: I our parents. But there was one time that I 6 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: was on the verge at least I was worried that 7 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: I was on the verge of having to give at 8 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:41,559 Speaker 1: least part of the talk to a child. How did 9 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,520 Speaker 1: you find yourself in this situation? Well, it was all 10 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: um all due to an episode of Fear Factor, which 11 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: I was watching with my young nephews and niece, and uh, 12 00:00:56,040 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: they had an eating challenge and the contestant in question 13 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: had to eat a plate of reindeer testicles. And the 14 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: host is describing this reindeer testicle challenge, and my sweet 15 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: well meaning nephew turns to me and says, Aunt Kristen, 16 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: what are testicles? And as I looked around the room 17 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: and turned bright red. I'm sure yes, I turned bright red, 18 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 1: looking around the room searching for how to say this. 19 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: I was on the verge of saying, ask your mom 20 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: when she gets home. When my my oldest nephew. His 21 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:42,680 Speaker 1: older brother pipes right in and very nonchalantly goes, well, 22 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:46,279 Speaker 1: those are your balls, and the conversation was over. My 23 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: younger nephew was like, oh, you were saved. I was 24 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: saved from having to explain what testicles do. But something 25 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: to a preview though, if we are ever find ourselves 26 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: with children of what is coming down the line. Because 27 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: this question of when to have the talk about sex 28 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: and anatomy with kids comes directly from a listener who 29 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: was in a quandary about when to talk to her daughter, 30 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: what to talk about, how honest to be, how to 31 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: frame sex. So I figured, well, the best thing that 32 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: we can do is research it right and kind of 33 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: help parents give them the little nudge that they need 34 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: to be open and honest with their kids. Maybe call 35 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: it my oldest nephew we have any anatomical questions, yeah, 36 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: he can be our other source. Um. But a lot 37 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: of these studies that we looked at about having the 38 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: talk with your kids pointed out that a lot of 39 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: parents aren't having them early enough, and they're not necessarily 40 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,119 Speaker 1: covering all the bases, so to speak. Yes, in two 41 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: thousand nine, there was a widely publicized study that was 42 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: published in the journal Pediatrics which found at more than 43 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: of adolescence had already had intercourse before talking to their 44 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: parents about safe sex, birth control or STDs. So the 45 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 1: big uh I guess call from that study was make 46 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: sure you're not doing it too late. A majority of 47 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,800 Speaker 1: parents had at some point sat there adolescent and teenage 48 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: kids down to have the talk, but it seemed like 49 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: it was a little too little, too late. Yeah, they 50 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: were a little bit behind the ball. The study found 51 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: there was a lot of consistency in the areas of 52 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: discussion and when they happened. And during adolescents pre sexual stage, 53 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: which includes hand holding and kissing, the typical discussions that 54 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: parents have with their kids focused on girls bodies, menstruation, 55 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: and sex within a relationship. In the prequel, when when 56 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: the kids were in a pre coital stage, which includes 57 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: genital touching and oral sex, discussions with parents focused on 58 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: decision making and STDs, with some discussion of relationships and 59 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: male development. Once the kids had already initiated intercourse, then 60 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: the conversation shifted to STDs and pregnancy prevention and what 61 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: to do if a partner refuses to use a condom. 62 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: All of this is information that could have been pretty 63 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: well used before intercourse probably yeah. And that that pattern 64 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: was based on surveys with forty one parents of kids 65 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: ages thirteen to seventeen that were taking at four different 66 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: points over a year. And that issue of what to 67 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: do if a partner refuses to use a condom is 68 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 1: related to consent, and that's one thing that consistently doesn't 69 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: come up so much in these parent talks about sex, 70 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: which I can imagine is not an easy thing to 71 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: do or a comfortable thing to do. Um. But one 72 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,919 Speaker 1: one other finding about who gets to talk and when 73 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: daughters based on this two thousand nine, pediatric studies almost 74 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 1: always get their sex education from their parents a little 75 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: bit sooner, probably because administration the time is ticking with 76 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: monarchy the onset of the first period and um with sons, 77 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 1: about half the parents hadn't talked to their sons about 78 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: how to use a condom are choosing birth control before 79 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: their son had had intercourse and um with daughters, two 80 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 1: fifths had not discussed how to choose methods of birth 81 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: control or what to do if a partner refused to 82 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: wear a condom until after again, after the daughter has 83 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: already had intercourse. So while parents might say, hey, sex exists, 84 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: this is how it happens. Do you have any questions? 85 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: Can this awkwardness In a lot of times those more 86 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: granular and very important issues of birth control options and 87 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: consent and how to put on condoms doesn't come up. Yeah, 88 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: because a lot of times parents might think they've had 89 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: the talk. They might say like, don't have sex, just 90 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: wait until you're married, or wait until you're older and ready, 91 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 1: without getting into those details that you're talking about. And 92 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: someone who confirms this is Dr Karen Thorn, who's the 93 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: director of Adolescent Meta than at New York Presbyterian Morgan 94 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: Stanley Children's Hospital. She said that a lot of parents 95 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: think that they've had this conversation with their kids. They 96 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: say something awkward and everybody blushes and they leave the room, 97 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 1: but the kids tend not to remember that it happened, 98 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: or they think their parents were talking about something else. 99 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: But and this is because she says that parents sometimes 100 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: say things more vaguely because they're uncomfortable and think they've 101 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: addressed the issue, but the kids don't even hear it. 102 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: It goes in one ear and out the other, and 103 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: not so surprisingly, research has also found that parents might 104 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: be a little vague and side step a direct sex 105 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: talk because it is, as we have said, it is uncomfortable. 106 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: This is coming from a two thousand study sponsored by 107 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: the Gootmaker Institute, which found that while parents believe that 108 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: talking to their kids was important and could be effective, 109 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: there were barriers to communication, specifically parents thinking that their 110 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: kids are too young and not knowing how to talk 111 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: about it. And I think that age issue is very 112 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: pertinent because there's a connect shin in a lot of 113 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: people's brains between talking about sex and sort of setting 114 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: off some kind of Rube Goldberg machine that will lead 115 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: to pre marital sex down the road. Yeah, the fear 116 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: that if I talk about sex at all, my kid 117 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: is gonna want to go do it immediately. Whereas a 118 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: lot of sex education experts will urge parents to begin 119 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: talking to kids as young as possible, not so much 120 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: about the mechanics of sex, but even you know, when 121 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: young children start to ask where if they see a 122 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: pregnant woman, where the where babies come from? What that's 123 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: all about? And you can start using more anatomical language, 124 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: such as me not being scared to use the word 125 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: testicle and um and and start framing it in that way, 126 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: and of course get into more of the details as 127 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: kids age and get into puberty and have questions themselves. 128 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: And one reason that parents should definitely bring up the 129 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: whole sex talk thing is that their teenagers just aren't 130 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: going to bring it up. This is kind from Christopher Dadas, 131 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: who's a psychology professor at Ohio State University. He found 132 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: that adolescents were more willing to talk about their dates, identity, 133 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: and how they showed affection, but very few of the teens, 134 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: if any, that were in the study disclosed what they 135 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: did win unsupervised and whether they had sex. Uh. He 136 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: did find that girls discussed more than boys, and the 137 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 1: mom was the primary confidante for both. I guess there's 138 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: something scary about going to your dad and talking about 139 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: sex maybe, but I don't know for for but yeah, 140 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,839 Speaker 1: so mom was the confidante for both. And he found 141 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: that what adolescences are willing to talk about does change 142 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: as they get older, where younger adolescents showed a much 143 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: higher level of communication than they're older peers, and teens 144 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 1: who indicated having a high degree of trust with their 145 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: parents ended up disclosing more and that's a particularly strong 146 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: correlation for girls. And a lot of the experts out 147 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: there do urge parents to foster a good relationship with 148 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: your child where um, he or she will feel comfortable 149 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: coming to you, because if they feel like either sex 150 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,559 Speaker 1: or their bodies or these terrible things when things start 151 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: happening or they start having questions, they're not going to 152 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: be willing to come and ask you questions, and they'll 153 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: try to find information from other sources. Well, and that's 154 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: the thing. Those other sources that you bring up are 155 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: so widely available now because kids have access to the Internet. 156 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 1: Saying a phrase which makes me feel like like a 157 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: much older person than I am, but it's true. I 158 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: mean it is. All of that information is out there 159 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: and kids are exposed to a lot more sexual content 160 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: than they used to be. Um And and again, I 161 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: feel like a lot of this is probably common sense, 162 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: but um, but it's still good to talk about because 163 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: it is. Uh. I think it's a formative experience, not 164 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: just for kids who sit down and have that talk, 165 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: but also for parents in the looming issue of when 166 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 1: is this going to happen? Um and February two thousand 167 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: eleven study and Pediatrics, which was led by Dr Elita 168 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: Acres and obstetuition and gynecologist at the University of Pittsburgh 169 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:06,239 Speaker 1: Medical Center on the upside, found that parents who participated 170 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: in intervention programs experienced improved communications with kids. Basically, these 171 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: are programs UH where parents can go in learn about 172 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: the best ways to talk about sex with their kids, 173 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: things to share, resources to point them to. Yeah, and 174 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: these parents who participated ended up having better and more 175 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: frequent conversations with their children and ended up being more 176 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: comfortable than parents who didn't participate. But they do point 177 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: out the whole issue of well, if they're going to 178 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: these classes, obviously they're more motivated to provide accurate and 179 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: sufficient information for their kids, so it helps going to 180 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: these classes UM and the researchers also pulled out some 181 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 1: teachable lessons for parents who might be wondering how to 182 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: set their kids down have this talk and there researchers 183 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: advice to talk early and often UM use teachable moments 184 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: of such a when questions naturally arise about romantic relationships, 185 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: abour or a fear factor. Yes, so we're a fear 186 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 1: factor in reindeer reindeer testicles and speaking of testicles use 187 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: anatomically correct terms. Um. They say that slang and euphemisms 188 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: indicate that something is wrong, bad, or different about genitalia, right, 189 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 1: because you teach your kids what an arm is, what 190 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: a hand is, you know, teach them what a volvo 191 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: or a penis is instead of using euphemisms, because then 192 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's like we shouldn't talk about it. 193 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 1: Or you could just sort of use only euphemisms like 194 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: your hand, calling your hands flippers, or slap pads slap 195 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: pads yet clap machines. Um. Also, the researchers urge parents 196 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: to not lie or lecture. This is a great quote 197 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: in Time magazine from Terry Fisher, who was an Ohio 198 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: State psychologist. She says, telling an adolescent not to have 199 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: sex is not likely to be an effective approach. And 200 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: that's the whole thing with this um, this issue of 201 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 1: when to give kids the talk, because at the end 202 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: of the day, we know that by the age of nineteen, 203 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: according to the the CDC, seven inten kids will have and 204 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: my kids, I mean teenagers, he's nineteen year old will 205 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: have engaged in sexual intercourse, whereas a majority of them 206 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: are also getting the talk from parents. So we might 207 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: be wondering, well, does it do any good at all? 208 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: And the answer is yes, because you're arming them with 209 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:35,839 Speaker 1: information uh and choices of when to when it's right 210 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,839 Speaker 1: for them, whether it's right for them at all? I 211 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 1: mean seven intent, That means three intent of them say no, 212 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: not for me. Well, kids aren't the only ones who 213 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: sometimes are not armed with enough information. Tends to be 214 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: parents to who get the wrong idea about their kids. 215 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 1: The Daily Beast sides a two thousand and nine study 216 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: that found that of the one thousand eleven to fourteen 217 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: year old they surveyed, half of them had had a 218 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: boy or a girlfriend, and a quarter thought that oral 219 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: sex are going all the way is part of a 220 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: tween romance, and only seven percent of parents survey thought 221 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: that their own children had gone any further than making out. 222 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: So this is this is actually pretty common pattern that 223 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 1: parents are like, la, la, la, la, don't know what's 224 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: going on, and kids are like, I'm not going to 225 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: tell you what's going on exactly. Um. But and parents 226 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 1: also tend to have an over inflated confidence with how 227 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: much their their sex talk is going to make an impact. 228 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 1: For instance, this is according to should say UM a 229 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: two thousand eleven poll commissioned by Planned Parenthood in the 230 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: Center for Latino Adolescent and Family Health. They found that 231 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: nine percent of parents feel confident about their ability to 232 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: influence whether or not their child has sex. However, most 233 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 1: of the same parents sixty say their own mothers and 234 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: father said a poor job educating them about sex and 235 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: sexual health. So maybe all that means is that with 236 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 1: this newer generation of parents, rent, we're trying to fill 237 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 1: in the gaps from you know, a legacy of silence 238 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,079 Speaker 1: about sex in the home. Yeah, yeah, it could be, 239 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: and they just because it's so awkward, they just think 240 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: that they're doing a better job than they are, like 241 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,839 Speaker 1: I just don't do it um. This same study found 242 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: that of parents have talked to their children about topics 243 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: related to sexuality, but when it comes to those tougher, 244 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: more complicated topics like we talked about earlier, many adolescents 245 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: are just not getting the support they need to delay 246 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,119 Speaker 1: sex and prevent pregnancy. And they found that most conversation 247 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: topics focused on relationships and the parents own values about 248 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: sex and when it should take place. Few are, however, 249 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: are bringing up how to say no and how to 250 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: access birth control. Yeah, that whole issue of consent. I'm 251 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: going to harp on it. It is so so important 252 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: because it's often not being talked about in sex education 253 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: programs in school, and I feel like that's that's such 254 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: a crucial piece of comprehensive sex said. Um. That is 255 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: that often just gets gets left out of things. UM. 256 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of kids as a result, 257 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: don't know that they can say now. And then there's 258 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: the issue that that we touched on with earlier statistics 259 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: of whether or not boys and girls need a different 260 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: kind of talk. Well, it seems like there are societal 261 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: differences and how we approach boys and girls, and the 262 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: New York Times in two thousand nine pointed this out 263 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: in a gender sex said article. Um. They said that 264 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: there's this tendency to treat boys as potential criminals and 265 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: girls as potential victims, and how we warn them about 266 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: sex or warn them about the consequences of their actions. 267 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: And some of the doctors and psychologists quoted said that 268 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: we really need to give boys the same consideration as 269 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: girls and the same support, but also teach them about 270 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 1: respecting girls and adults. Psychologist Michael Thompson, who wrote Raising 271 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: Kine Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, said that it's 272 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: really more of an issue of well behaved versus not 273 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: well behaved kids. And he says that I would teach 274 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: boys that there are many adults who are scared of boys, 275 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: who have fears of boy aggression, and I think politeness 276 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: is the surest way that a boy can reassure the 277 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: adult world that he is okay and trustworthy. And they 278 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: go on to talk about the differences in approaching sex 279 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: between boys and girls, and maybe it's for that that 280 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: reason of how um there is that societal perception of 281 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: how how boys approach sex and what they need, and 282 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: how girls are more let's be honest, are approached by 283 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 1: sex um and what they what they need in terms 284 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 1: of pregnancy prevention and birth control and things like that. 285 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 1: According to two thousand ten data from the c d C, 286 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,119 Speaker 1: female teens are much more likely to have received instruction 287 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: on methods of birth control UM and also educated about 288 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: more educated about how to say no to sex compared 289 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: with males, whereas male teens are more likely to have 290 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: been educated about how to use a condom. And I 291 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: thought it was in just saying that that seventeen magazine 292 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: actually gave kids advice on how to approach their parents, 293 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: because it's just awkward for everyone involved. I am someone 294 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: who never never approached my parents about this, and I 295 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: think I mentioned in our sex Ed podcast previously that 296 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: my mother's way of dealing with this was I think 297 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: I was eighteen and mom ear MOFs. I think I 298 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: had already had sex for the first time. But I 299 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 1: was sitting on the couch and she looks at me 300 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: and she's like, Ah, do we need to talk about anything? 301 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, no, no, we never had 302 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: the talk. We never, we never. I never had a book, 303 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 1: I never had a pamphlet. Nothing. Yeah. Um, I I 304 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: read romance novels. We covered that. Um. But the advice 305 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 1: from seventeen two kids who want to talk to their 306 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 1: parents is that maybe try approaching them one at a time, 307 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: because this helps the kid feel less like your parents 308 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: or this United Front who were going to judge you 309 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: and ground you for asking questions. UM. Maybe admit your 310 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 1: nerves to them so that they know you're serious. Pick 311 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: the right time and place, you know. They suggest that 312 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: kids rely on teachable moments just as much as parents do. 313 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 1: So if you see, you know, a boyfriend and girlfriend 314 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 1: in the park, you can be like, oh, by the way, 315 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend or you know, maybe something left. 316 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 1: Don't spring it on them. Pick the right time and place, UM, 317 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: and also plan what you want to ask and talk 318 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: about with your parents so that you're prepared. Also, and 319 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: one cohort of adolescents and teens that we need to 320 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: talk about that are often left out not only of 321 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: sex said talks in school but also at home are 322 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: lgbt Q youth because, according to a lot of statistics 323 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: of which we found at the Healthy Team Network UM, 324 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: queer teens are actually more likely than heterosexual youth too 325 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: have had intercourse, to have had more partners, and to 326 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: have experienced sexual intercourse against their will. And a lot 327 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: of researchers will attribute this to a lack of education 328 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: and knowledge. They aren't being UM, their specific issues aren't 329 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: being talked about right. And on that topic of education, 330 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: UM they cited two thousand study that found of young 331 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: lesbians reported feeling that they were at zero risk zero 332 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: risk of HIV and sexually transmitted infections. And you know, 333 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,640 Speaker 1: further on this topic, sexual orientation is among the three 334 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 1: topics most likely to be excluded from a sex ed course, 335 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: right up there along with abortion and how to use condoms. 336 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 1: So there are just a lot of things in sex 337 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: head courses or at home that just aren't getting talked about, 338 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,959 Speaker 1: right and so in addition to just basic issues of 339 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: sexual health, UM, it's important for parents to educate themselves 340 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: about sexual orientation, gender expression, homophobia, UM, and to not 341 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 1: make assumptions based on appearance in providing safety and support. 342 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: This all goes into, um, you know, the the larger 343 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 1: need for home environments to be trusting and safe spaces 344 00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: for for kids. Exactly. A two thousand one d in 345 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 1: the American Journal of Public Health found that l g 346 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: B t Q youth who received gay sensitive instruction report 347 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 1: fewer sexual partners, less frequent sex, and less substance used 348 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: before having sex than those who received the more common 349 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 1: sex education. And I was looking around for good resources 350 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: online um about talking parents, talking specifically to queer adolescents 351 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: in youth, and they're really there's not a ton of 352 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 1: direct information out there. Um. There was that episode of 353 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: Gale this season that got a ton of press because um, 354 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 1: the gay teen Kurts Dad sits down with him and 355 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: has the talk, and I was like, it's a it's 356 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: a gay teen sex talk. This is crazy. But when 357 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,199 Speaker 1: you look at what he actually advises him. UM. This 358 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: was pointed out by the organization Parents, Families and Friends 359 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: of Lesbians and Gays UM and there Washington d C chapter. 360 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,440 Speaker 1: They were they were commenting that the speech that he 361 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: gives them as is a speech that any team could use, 362 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: something that could be helpful and M and the P 363 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: flag points out that a parents willingness to listen and 364 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,240 Speaker 1: support their child and provide environment that allows the child 365 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: to eventually have a healthy sexual relationship is the most 366 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:20,119 Speaker 1: important thing. And you can apply that to any adolescent 367 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 1: or any team right giving them a safe space to 368 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: come to you, whether your team is gay or straight, 369 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: to feel like they can ask you questions and not 370 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,400 Speaker 1: hide from you if something bad happens. Basically, and so 371 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: my big question at the end of all of this, 372 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 1: because any kind of health advocate will agree that yes, 373 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: parents need to talk to their kids about sex, whether 374 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: it's saying no, not having it, How to negotiate that, 375 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,399 Speaker 1: what to do when it does happen if it is 376 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 1: already happened, you know, pregnancy prevention as cd prevention and 377 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 1: all of those other important steps. Um, but my question 378 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:02,199 Speaker 1: is whether or not it really matters. And according to 379 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 1: the CDC, I mean, I don't know the health advocates 380 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: are going to say no, it does not matter. But 381 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: for some peace of mind out there, for parents who 382 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: have to give the talk, have given the talk, Kudos 383 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: to you, because parental communication about sex education topics is 384 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: associated with delayed sexual initiation, increased birth control methods, and 385 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 1: condom use among sexually experienced teenagers. So in other words, 386 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 1: it allows them to make more informed choices exactly. Yeah, 387 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: and support they they know they're supported at home. Um. 388 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 1: And again I am from my very borderline experience with 389 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: talking about something even broadly sex related to a child. 390 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,880 Speaker 1: I I have a lot of respect for parents out 391 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: there who have done that. My mom set me down 392 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:58,360 Speaker 1: for rather awkward talk when I was ten or eleven. Huh, well, yeah, 393 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: that's what they say. The experts say that it should 394 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: be an ongoing discussion. And you touched on earlier having 395 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,159 Speaker 1: age appropriate discussions, you know, like where did baby's come from? 396 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna answer that differently to a four year old 397 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: than you are a nine year old. Yeah, and if 398 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: you're eighteen year old is still asking you where babies 399 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: come from? Parents, it's time to get on the ball. Okay, 400 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: good advice. So with that, let's turn it over to 401 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: our parents. Have you given the talk? What was it like? UM? 402 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: Listeners out there who have received the talk? Did anything 403 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: stand out to you? Did your parents? UM? Where they 404 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: horribly awkward? Where they open? What made a difference to you? UM? 405 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: And and parents to what age? Is there some kind 406 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: of golden age to have the start having those more 407 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: detailed talks about sex. Let us know, mom. Stuff at 408 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: Discovery dot com is where you can send all of 409 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: your stories that we can't wait to hear. And in 410 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 1: the meantime, we've got a couple of letters here to 411 00:23:54,119 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 1: read to you. This is an email for Simone talking 412 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: about our birth control podcast, and she said that I'm 413 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,239 Speaker 1: a nineteen year old student from Australia and have been 414 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: on the pill since I was sixteen. I'm a virgin 415 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: and I have never used it for actual birth control. 416 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,159 Speaker 1: I'm on it because I had horrible irregular periods and 417 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,119 Speaker 1: painful PMS symptoms and to aid in this, I'm on 418 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: the pill. I know that several of my friends are 419 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 1: on it for the same reason, many of whom are 420 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: also not using it for contraception, and I think this 421 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: is a big issue that you missed in your podcast. 422 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: Whenever people find out that I'm on it, they asked 423 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: me about sex and I have to tell them I 424 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: don't use it for that at all. It gets especially 425 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: annoying for people who don't know how horrible it is 426 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: to have bad PMS symptoms or an irregular period, and 427 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: asked me why I even bother at this point in 428 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 1: my life. I couldn't imagine not being on it. It's 429 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: much more convenient, and when I was traveling last summer, 430 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,880 Speaker 1: I didn't have to bother with any PMS or anything. 431 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 1: For me, it's just the best option. And I know 432 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: that when I do eventually have sex, it will be 433 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: there for me, but until then, it's just a nice 434 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: convenience to improve an otherwise horrible aspect of my life. 435 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: Thanks Simone. I actually had a friend in high school 436 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 1: who was on birth control for the very same reason, 437 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: way before she was sexually active. Well, I've got an 438 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: email here from Brian and it is in response to 439 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: our episode about Nail Polish and just give you a 440 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 1: little background. He works at an elementary school as a 441 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: t A and helps running out of school program in 442 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 1: the afternoon, and he writes a few weeks ago, my 443 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: wife and I thought it would be a good idea 444 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 1: to go and get our nails done. This being my 445 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 1: wife's first time, I thought it would be great. Anyway, 446 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: I had taken my students to the swimming pool and 447 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: after putting on my flip flops, another teacher noticed my 448 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: toes were orange and laughed out loud. She thought it 449 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: wasn't good fun as I have an over the top 450 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: sense of humor. And after a while a few boys 451 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 1: in the group also saw and thought it was great 452 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: that I have orange tonails. Since then, I have had 453 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: many boys come up to me and ask if they 454 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 1: two can get their tonails painted. I think it's great 455 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 1: and if a boy or a man wants to feel 456 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 1: pampered every once in a while, then he should, and 457 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: I heartily agree. So thanks to Brian and to everyone 458 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: else who's written in Mom's stuff. At Discovery dot com 459 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: is where you can send your letters. You can send 460 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: your Facebook love to us on well of course on Facebook, 461 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: and you can also tweet us on Twitter at Mom's 462 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,360 Speaker 1: Stuff Podcast, and you can find a lot of information 463 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: about how to educate yourself about sex and giving the 464 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: talk two kids at how stuff works dot com. Be 465 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: sure to check out our new video podcast, Stuff from 466 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 1: the Future. Join how Stuff Work staff as we explore 467 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,239 Speaker 1: the most promising and perplexing possibilities of tomorrow. The How 468 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: Stuff Works iPhone app has a ride. Download it today 469 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 1: on iTunes. Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand 470 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: twelve camera. It's ready, are you