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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: What's Up? What's Up? What's up? Everybody? Oh, we hope

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Speaker 1: you are doing beautifully right now in this moment as

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Speaker 1: you are listening to Jay dot Ilder podcast with myself,

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Speaker 1: Scott Aga, Graden Dansler Hell and the lovely Liar st Clair.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I am. How did you know? I see you? Darling? Friends,

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Speaker 1: we are sitting here cracking up. We're talking about the

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Speaker 1: right white friends. We're talking about our our white right friends.

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Speaker 1: Are white white right white white friends, white white friends?

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Speaker 1: And what does that look like? Because you know, you think, alright,

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Speaker 1: there's some sisters that that know who they are. They

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Speaker 1: are familiar with their history, not everything, but you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and have a sense of pride about

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Speaker 1: who they are and are not hiding from it. Pretty

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Speaker 1: on a bass, shildly open about being proud of ourselves

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Speaker 1: and our culture and history. We might think that we

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Speaker 1: don't have any white friends but suppries, But we don't

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Speaker 1: know me. You don't know everything everything about me for sure.

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Speaker 1: Now I kind of I gotta admit I don't have

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Speaker 1: a lot. Oh yeah, I don't have a lot. You

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Speaker 1: have something that are absolutely quality friendships that I love.

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Speaker 1: Oddly enough, my my white girlfriend, one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: white girlfriends, calls me. She calls me black lady. No, yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: she calls me black lady. And it tickles us to

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Speaker 1: no end when we are at the not when we're

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Speaker 1: at the I'm good that thing tickles us so much

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Speaker 1: because we know people that other people can hear us

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Speaker 1: having these conversations. I call her white lady as well.

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Speaker 1: Should people uncomfortable in public? Yes, time might have to

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Speaker 1: go over this with my white friends, although I will

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Speaker 1: have to say the first time they call me black lady,

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Speaker 1: I might in it bertly push them in the mouth

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Speaker 1: and then I have to apologize and work it out later.

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with it? What's what's the What's what's what

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Speaker 1: feels funny about? You know, your your white girlfriend calling

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Speaker 1: you black lady. You know, but it's just like I

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Speaker 1: just have to get over sometimes you just feel funny

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Speaker 1: with the word black coming out there. But what's about

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Speaker 1: to say? What sensitive? I know, I know it's very

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Speaker 1: sensitive for me all the time. I mean, you gotta

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Speaker 1: put it down sometimes, I mean, like I know, but

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Speaker 1: let me tell you, I actually have a slight sensitivity

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Speaker 1: to my white friends using a v so like sometimes

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Speaker 1: like if they say something we're talking there, like they're like, oh, yeah, girl,

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Speaker 1: or they say something like uh like oh that's dope

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Speaker 1: or um or like that, and I'd be like, oh, um, okay,

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Speaker 1: I know what you I know what you mean. I

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Speaker 1: know what you mean. I know I know what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: It's something in my spirit. That's what I feel. I feel.

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Speaker 1: Don't you feel like a little even if you don't

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Speaker 1: say nothing, it's like, it's just I felt something just now.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that was. I don't I know,

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Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Maybe she just said hey girl, she just

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Speaker 1: said hey girl, but it was I mean, I mean, okay,

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Speaker 1: So then maybe we really don't have Maybe what Jill

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Speaker 1: has reached the comfort level that we should be trying

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Speaker 1: to get to, where it's like we can get rid

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Speaker 1: of all the little tink tanks and get to the

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Speaker 1: to the meat of the relationship. Oh, get rid of

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Speaker 1: the tink tanks. Yeah, I mean, but the tink tinks

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Speaker 1: are hard for me. But I tend to at least

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Speaker 1: say so. I mean for the most part, like for

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Speaker 1: the most part, but then sometimes no, I don't know

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to be the bummer of the conversation.

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Speaker 1: Like I will admit that that all of my white

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Speaker 1: girls have white husbands. I will admit that I get

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Speaker 1: the girl not see but she but she brings up

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Speaker 1: a good point. Though. Is it easier when your white

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Speaker 1: girlfriends day white men then when you are competing with

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Speaker 1: your girls? Because IM gonna ta you something right now, y'all.

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Speaker 1: You know, in my white girl relationships, I have been

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Speaker 1: challenged because all my white girls likes them something brown

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Speaker 1: and that has not always been easy for me. I have.

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Speaker 1: We have gotten to this place with a lot of progress,

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Speaker 1: you know what. And I know the friendship that you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. And I have been really impressed with you

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Speaker 1: over the years, honestly, Like I've really been impressed with you.

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Speaker 1: I don't get to see that. Yeah, well how about that.

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Speaker 1: But let's talk about it just a little bit without

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Speaker 1: having to, like, you know, break into the friend code.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Well, how does that happen?

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Speaker 1: Like do you feel I mean the comfort obviously you

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Speaker 1: love this person, because I'm gonna tell you right now,

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Speaker 1: I feel like like an argument sometimes it's an expression

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Speaker 1: of love where it's like it's worth it to express

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Speaker 1: myself and and we're gonna, you know, we're gonna close

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Speaker 1: the shutters and have this hard conversation to preserve the friendship.

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Speaker 1: So like walk us through like maybe one time where

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Speaker 1: it was like all right, boom, like Nazis like this

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna work, or she had a Nazis this ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna work for me moment that was like our first

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Speaker 1: real moment where we had to have a whole card conversation.

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Speaker 1: Like I'll tell y'all, shout out to my sister Stacy

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Speaker 1: because we've been through it. And I was in the

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Speaker 1: radio and Philly and me and Stacy were roommates living

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Speaker 1: in the same home together, and one day she was

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Speaker 1: riding in the car with her mother and listening to

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Speaker 1: the radio, and she just happened to hear like his

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Speaker 1: opinions on interracial dating. Yea, even though we've been friends

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Speaker 1: for years, but I felt, you know, I was on

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Speaker 1: my safe space on the radio to be like, listen,

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Speaker 1: black love is it toney? And I probably went in

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Speaker 1: in some way and she was a litt of shocks

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Speaker 1: that when I came home and she was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what was that about? Was that wow? And that was

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Speaker 1: a really hard conversation. Like then, it's it's it's led

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Speaker 1: up to numerous conversations throughout the years, whether it be

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Speaker 1: a Facebook post. But we disagree, but we have to

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Speaker 1: just agree to disagree, you know, and she understands that,

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Speaker 1: Like I just got it. Thankful black love. I love

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Speaker 1: you though, and I love him too, and I see

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Speaker 1: all of you know, that's that's dope. That's dope love.

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Speaker 1: But I will have to say that again, this is

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Speaker 1: a testament to the strength of friendship when it really exists.

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Speaker 1: Because if if that's as raw as it was going

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Speaker 1: to it was getting in that conversation, I'm gonna say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: there is definitely a mutual love there. So I just

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Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, I'm probably guilty of not quite being

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Speaker 1: raw enough. Yeah, I believe, you know, just because I

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Speaker 1: I tend to I tend to be worried about people's

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Speaker 1: feelings and stuff like that, and sometimes if I feel

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Speaker 1: somebody's intentions are really good, I try to kind of

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Speaker 1: more so be like, oh, well the intention wasn't that

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But then what I will do is

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Speaker 1: pull back. So it's like I just kind of would

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Speaker 1: rather be in a safer space where I don't feel

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Speaker 1: like I got a police it, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: where it's like I don't really want to have to

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Speaker 1: police my friendships, you know, And so it's kind of like, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know. One of a situation that happened with me

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Speaker 1: was like I was doing some work on an interview,

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Speaker 1: like doing it like a little mini doctor, and I

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Speaker 1: was interviewing one of my friends about the whole defund

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Speaker 1: the police issue, and she had just lost a student

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Speaker 1: of hers to gun violence, and she was like really

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Speaker 1: still hurting and grieving, and she was doing a lot

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Speaker 1: of work with the mother and everything like that, and Honey,

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Speaker 1: when we were talking about defund the police, she kind

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Speaker 1: of like not because whoever shot my student got to

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Speaker 1: go to you know what I'm saying. Like she was

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Speaker 1: going in about about violence and about police presidents and

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Speaker 1: about having more police presidents and stuff like that. So

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Speaker 1: she and I had to have a little talk offline, like, sis,

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Speaker 1: you do realize that that was your personal experience, but

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Speaker 1: when you release the dogs on the whole community because

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Speaker 1: of gun violence, what you're gonna ultimately see is something

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Speaker 1: terrible happened to multiple young people. It is actually not

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Speaker 1: going to improve the situation at all, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. In fact, it's gonna victimize you know, many

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Speaker 1: more people. But I have that kind of conversation with

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Speaker 1: my black friends, so to be a hundred of person, honest,

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Speaker 1: I don't really think that that was simply because she

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Speaker 1: was white. I just think she was just personally connected

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Speaker 1: to a situation that made her politics you a certain

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Speaker 1: kind of way. So that was probably one of the

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Speaker 1: few times where I really had to be like, Sis, no,

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Speaker 1: that's not the it like it's the second term. Well no,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, sister, y'all, I don't asking. Yeah, that's a

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Speaker 1: good question. Girl, I do say girl, I say girls.

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Speaker 1: I say I think I said, But then again I

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Speaker 1: may have had woman maybe I see. It's it's it's

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Speaker 1: that intention in that girl for me too, because if

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Speaker 1: if a stranger calls me girl, you know, a white

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Speaker 1: stranger woman calls me girl, I have to process and process.

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Speaker 1: But in the South, my love, that thing gets thrown

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Speaker 1: around like it's nothing, So you know, I have to process.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, did I feel anything under that? And

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Speaker 1: if I did, then I have to to look around

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Speaker 1: and you know, do what I do. I look around

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Speaker 1: and I said, oh, how kind of you. I'm forty

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Speaker 1: nine years old. I haven't been a girl for a

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Speaker 1: long time, and typically that thing, you know, it squelches

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Speaker 1: that energy, you know, and if and if another one

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Speaker 1: pops up, then I'll say, it's fine to call me

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Speaker 1: miss Scott. I'm I'm gonna need I'm gonna need only

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Speaker 1: a sister, a familiar gay man, queer man, or uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: a white girlfriend that I know that still says it

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Speaker 1: with some type of tone that I've recognized. Well, what

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Speaker 1: if it's what if it's your your white queer friend,

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Speaker 1: male friend, Yeah, is he allowed? Well oh sis, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: he can't call me sis, but maybe you can go.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he can go. Girl. That's because maybe sister, sister

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Speaker 1: is it feels different. It's not like sister, you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's logistics. My my black friends have gone

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Speaker 1: to calling me sister and friend, hi friend or hi

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Speaker 1: sister like and I love it. Actually, I think it's

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Speaker 1: actually kind of cool. But that yeah, it's it's you know,

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Speaker 1: it's all about the and it's all about you, that

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Speaker 1: person and that individual, right because it's kind of like,

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Speaker 1: so where you raised and a very white populated town,

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Speaker 1: and then you moved here and then you found blacks

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Speaker 1: and now you talk with a little bit of twin

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Speaker 1: twine or where is this where you were born and

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Speaker 1: raised around and that's just how you talk because we

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Speaker 1: got a lot of that. Uh yeah, I think it

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Speaker 1: depends on the end of it. I mean, I can

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Speaker 1: think of two white women who I would consider friends

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Speaker 1: right now who just literally don't talk like that. They

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Speaker 1: don't talk like that. They don't I mean they're married

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Speaker 1: white men. I mean, they're not not that that. Really

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Speaker 1: that doesn't bother me quite as much as I feel

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Speaker 1: like it. They're married to white men. Yeah, but if

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Speaker 1: they weren't, I kind of feel like it doesn't bother

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Speaker 1: me the same way that it does other black women.

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Speaker 1: But because I just I don't think about it as much.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back. Can I just explain See, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I should explain this. I'm the girl, although

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Speaker 1: I'm I know, I'm the blackest hell friend. For some reason,

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Speaker 1: I'm very attractive to white people, right and especially white women.

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Speaker 1: So when I speak on my experience is I'm really

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Speaker 1: regretting that whole dog thing that I did. But I

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Speaker 1: need people to understand it. Like I'm the girl that

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Speaker 1: when my girlfriend can the black man for the first time,

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Speaker 1: she wanted to tell me, and she wanted to tell

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Speaker 1: me how thick his lips were and like and how

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Speaker 1: I mean like, I never I just never knew that,

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Speaker 1: and so I had to what when Honestly, I'm not

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Speaker 1: even gonna lie to you. Had that been my background,

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Speaker 1: I probably would feel the way you feel because, like

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Speaker 1: I said, okay, had that been a situation that I

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Speaker 1: had to deal with, I don't know. I think it

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Speaker 1: would make me uncomfortable. Now I'm the person who gets

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Speaker 1: a tink a tinge from being called this. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm that person, so I can imagine

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Speaker 1: where that could be. But this is your girlfriend. She

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Speaker 1: would be able to tell you how she's feel it,

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Speaker 1: how she's feeling like that. You're supposed to be a

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Speaker 1: safe space too, you know what I'm saying, Like, oh gosh, yes,

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Speaker 1: but she can we just go to restaurants and eat?

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Speaker 1: Can we just go eat? And I had to admit

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Speaker 1: that if it were any any female in the universe

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Speaker 1: and they came to me about talk, you know, talking

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Speaker 1: about kissing the black man for the first time in

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Speaker 1: the lips and softness of the lips, I would have

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Speaker 1: to agree. Like it's not like she lying, Like like

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, it's not a lot detectives. It's not a

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Speaker 1: lot of detected It's not like they're a vibe. Is

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Speaker 1: there a vibe where you feel like your white friends,

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Speaker 1: male or female or other or whatever has to kind

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Speaker 1: of meet a certain kind of political or social commitment,

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Speaker 1: and like what does that look like for me? It

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Speaker 1: means that you have you have a clear understanding that

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Speaker 1: people are people for me from from that perspective black people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's my perspective. I really love my culture. I love

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Speaker 1: my variants and skin colors. I just love it that

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Speaker 1: ship is fired to me. It's so beautiful to me.

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Speaker 1: And the freckles and all the stuff that we could

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Speaker 1: do with the red faces and in the green eyes.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you listen, the list is long. I just

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Speaker 1: love that we could make so many colors and in

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Speaker 1: one family. Like, I think that's fantastic. Yes, truly, truly.

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Speaker 1: You can't front on that at this point out Like,

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Speaker 1: come on, h what are these kind of requirements like,

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Speaker 1: do they have to be like out in the streets

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Speaker 1: with the signs? Do they have to be like consistently? Now,

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Speaker 1: that would be nice, But a lot of my black

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Speaker 1: friends are not out in the streets with the signs

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Speaker 1: hold on you. But they're black, and he's already dealing

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Speaker 1: with being black. That's a full time job. As to

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Speaker 1: the the the to the extreme right, to the are

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Speaker 1: they out there marching for the people? Whatever? Let me

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Speaker 1: ask you this question because I got mad with my

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Speaker 1: white girlfriend who had she ain't listening, who had just

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Speaker 1: kissed her black man for the first time, had told

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Speaker 1: me that she had never seen a Spike Lee movie.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think that you. How are

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Speaker 1: you for me? I'm sorry not to be petty or

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Speaker 1: maybe that's you know, but I feel like you as

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Speaker 1: a white person that's wrapped in the culture. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: I ain't going a lot to you like. But then

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Speaker 1: on the flip side, it's like you certain things you

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Speaker 1: can't turn into, like these benchmarks, because that's the problem

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Speaker 1: with a hell of liberal white people down They'll be like, look,

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Speaker 1: I have seen every Spike Lee film. I'm prepared to

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Speaker 1: be wide marched with Dr March with Dr King. God

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Speaker 1: damn it, why it was. I was in the six

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Speaker 1: hundred and forty second row, but I was with I

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Speaker 1: watched the march from my office. But come on, y'all,

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Speaker 1: not like, but but but if a black person saying

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Speaker 1: they've never seen a Spike Lee movie, like I'm a

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Speaker 1: balk at the black woman the white woman that they

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Speaker 1: and all these black dudes and in the culture, like yeah,

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Speaker 1: you ain't how you ain't huh, but but but but

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Speaker 1: but but does she necessarily have to be in the

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Speaker 1: culture because quite friendship, Look, she's sucking that man. And

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Speaker 1: I think I prefer when she's in her own ship.

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Speaker 1: Be in your bag, mommy, be in your bag, me too.

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Speaker 1: And I honestly feel like, for friendship's sake that somebody

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Speaker 1: who is just secure in their own stuff, Like it's

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Speaker 1: one thing. If you just enjoy culture, that's cool. Enjoying

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Speaker 1: culture is perfect. It's like, it's great. We can have

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Speaker 1: conversations about hip hop, we can have conversations about all

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Speaker 1: kinds of different things that black folks do, because black

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Speaker 1: folks do every damn thing. So it's like, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: have lots of conversations about that kind of stuff. But

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Speaker 1: I just feel like, ultimately, I like when people just

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Speaker 1: kind of secure and I like and generally for all

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Speaker 1: my friends. I mean, now, I will say this, I

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Speaker 1: have a tendency to be able to compartmentalize my black friends.

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Speaker 1: So I don't have to talk politics with every single

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Speaker 1: one of my black friends. I don't have to talk

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Speaker 1: about certain things with my black girlfriends. Some big ship

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Speaker 1: come up, like until if it's something that I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's gonna be harmful to us as a whole,

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Speaker 1: then we're gonna have a little learning moment if for

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Speaker 1: some reason they double down on some stuff. Like if

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Speaker 1: I if one of my girlfriends is just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know why I just went to go march to

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Speaker 1: free r Kelly, then yeah, no, we're probably not going

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Speaker 1: rock after that. Like we that's not with anybody after that, anybody,

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Speaker 1: We're probably not gonna lock. But I'm saying, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: we're not even friends in the first place, likely you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So there is like a cut off.

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Speaker 1: But I just feel like I feel like sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: just about language, right, So like if I'm talking to

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Speaker 1: my white friends, it's certain things I don't want to

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Speaker 1: have to explain. So I just feel like you just

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Speaker 1: kind of have to have a certain baseline. If your

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Speaker 1: baseline is not where we can have a conversation that

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm constantly educating you, then we're rocking.

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Speaker 1: But if it's a constant, I gotta worry, I gotta

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Speaker 1: correct you, I gotta got educate you. I gotta you know.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna say that's fun. That's not even fun.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna say this about and we talked

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Speaker 1: about this about them between black folds and white folks.

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Speaker 1: In the way black folks, you know most of everything,

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Speaker 1: there is no about white folks, right, White folks admittedly

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Speaker 1: don't really know about us. So if you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: my friend, though, I'm gonna need you to be better

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Speaker 1: than the average white person in that way because I

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Speaker 1: know all about you. So when I bring up that

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Speaker 1: Spike Lee thing, I'm only saying that because I've seen

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Speaker 1: the club. I've seen pretty and pink. I sween I've

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Speaker 1: seen secret of my success. I said, like, I've seen

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Speaker 1: all of that. So I'm just saying I don't I

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00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 1: can't get what you on that now. I mean that

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Speaker 1: explanation brought it home from me. I ain't gonna that.

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Speaker 1: That definitely brought it home for me because we do

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00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,719
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time just being inundated with their

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00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 1: culture and we know it's so well and that's true.

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Speaker 1: That's true. That's like like I know is I know,

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Speaker 1: like come on, like don't like but you don't know.

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Speaker 1: One Spike. I just saw her last week. She looked great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah she does. She was yeah, whole girls. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: why not she so she was so damn beautiful, like

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Speaker 1: you know, I mean she still is, and shout out

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Speaker 1: to her. She was one of the first I guess,

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Speaker 1: like Hollywood celebrities or whatever to to like really get

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Speaker 1: behind me too and understand what it was about. Mind

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Speaker 1: you and not my white girlfriend. Yeah she could. I

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Speaker 1: believe that she would just a little bit. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, me trying to change her. Where's your

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Speaker 1: white girlfriend in your head? That's a good question. Well

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Speaker 1: I have a couple, mmm, because I'm whiter than y'all things. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he come to truth, It comes to truth, opened up

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Speaker 1: the box. Yeah, you got Jill famous, famous, so her

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Speaker 1: her her friend, her head might actually be her. I'm

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Speaker 1: only famous and a half face. And and I really

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00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: I really like Chelsea Handler. See let's talk about you

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Speaker 1: and her being girlfriends. Come on, I like her. Wait wait,

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Speaker 1: because she is a great exact See that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: She would be happy to get custed out by me

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Speaker 1: and still call me the next like that type of

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Speaker 1: girl who would be like, okay, bitch, I was wrong.

365
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Speaker 1: But I feel like she's really want to have much

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Speaker 1: to that. She's not scared of the ship. No, you

367
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean. That's and that's and I like

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Speaker 1: that you're not scared of the ship, like right right,

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Speaker 1: But she didn't start talking crazy, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 1: she didn't start like acting like you know, Chelsea shan queen,

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Speaker 1: don't you know the two l comments. But I ain't

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Speaker 1: mat her because she Chelsea and she know how the

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Speaker 1: word the motherfucker's you know, well, she is a comedian

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Speaker 1: and she's I find her to be right. I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: that's my that's my friend, crush, my girlfriend crush, you know,

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Speaker 1: one of mine in my head. Even though she didn't

377
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Speaker 1: get in a little bit of trouble every now to day,

378
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Speaker 1: did she get real familiar because of her husband, But

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Speaker 1: Ashley Ram Ashley Rab is one of my girlfriends in

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Speaker 1: my hand. I actually have talked to her and the husband, who,

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Speaker 1: by the way, is from DCPG County Home School, Like,

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00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 1: oh but right now, oh you know Ashley? Oh yeah,

383
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:45,439
Speaker 1: she's a plus size model. She's white, yo something. It

384
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: depends on the lighting, but she's definitely like from like

385
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: Kentucky or Nebraska. Says so she's from Lincoln the breast. Yes, yes,

386
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Speaker 1: And I also was impressed that her husband, when he

387
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: met her too, he didn't know she was white. So

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Speaker 1: I gave him that for free, Like, oh, okay, she

389
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: gotta ask like a black girl. I can see you

390
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 1: thought she was. You could have been a creo after

391
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Speaker 1: I always thought she was a Latino. My bad. I

392
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: don't know who you got agent? Who is Asian's white

393
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Speaker 1: girlfriend in her head? Lord Jesus please sitting over here

394
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: trying to think of who it is because I'm like,

395
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: who is it? I was like, who is it? I'm

396
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: going through my Instagram like who follow I was let

397
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: me think I wanted Test Holiday? Who I follow? Testicize

398
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: model Test Holiday. I'm always going for the B asan

399
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: always on the B side. I like her energies Diane Keaton. Oh,

400
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah that she could be fun if

401
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 1: we're going into that age range. And I tell you

402
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 1: my white girlfriend broke my heart and my great gir

403
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: girl from my head who broke my heart? Yes, how

404
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 1: did you know she broke who is it? Wait a minute, bet,

405
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: because you know she is on my wall. I mean

406
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: she kind of rolled it back, but I want to

407
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: say that what she said was and she did. She

408
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: said some other problematic stuff, but the first thing she

409
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: did was she tweeted out that women are the niggers

410
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 1: of the world and mind you, she mind you. This

411
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 1: was a quote from Yoko Owner, which was also equally problematic.

412
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Speaker 1: So the fact that she did not understand that the

413
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: first time it was said it was some bullshit, and

414
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: then she didn't tweeted it. Yeah, yeah, this is the danger. See,

415
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,479
Speaker 1: this is the danger. This is the danger that just

416
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: that rocked me that, Oh I don't like it. You

417
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: know what? I also like, really had a crush on

418
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton asked me to yeah, you like Dolly park

419
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: to the Negroes for sure, though she ten that money

420
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 1: and gave up. M hmm, well she does. She's doing

421
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: the right thing. I went to her amusement park, which

422
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 1: was very, very different as all amusement park goes. It's

423
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: called Dollywood. It's in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. You know. Okay, So

424
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: the rides are phenomenal. I will say that some of

425
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: the best rides in the country, wrap real wrapping my mind.

426
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 1: Her rides are faster than anything I've seen. They're great.

427
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:45,199
Speaker 1: But there's a museum inside of the yep, they have

428
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: a working church. We'll say that there is a working church.

429
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: There is some shout from happening in the church while

430
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 1: people are having rides and waiting a line and eating

431
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 1: stuff Southern delicacies. I only want. I don't know. They're like,

432
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 1: I don't understand. It's a Turkey leg type of place.

433
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: Or it's like default of all seasons corn dogs. I

434
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: don't understand. I don't understand. I'm like, it makes you

435
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: feel like you had COVID, like really like really everything everything.

436
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 1: So she's still your girlfriend. Well, listen, this is where

437
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 1: she lost me. I went to the museum. There's a

438
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: gospel museum in the amusement park, and there was not

439
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: a single black person in it. And I was like, oh,

440
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: I mean it was so bad that all I could

441
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: do was laugh. I'm supposed to me, it's it's it's

442
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: the gospel us girl, listen, ain't no Mahalia see that table.

443
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: I would have you gotta laugh at that? She like,

444
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 1: I would have busted out all my ass looking like

445
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: an I kept walking around. I was like, this is ridiculous,

446
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: Like it was ridiculous to me. I was like, are

447
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: you serious right now? They ain't no one of the

448
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: blind boys in Alabama like that. It's like, we ain't

449
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: got nothing. There's no black people in here. Wowrefa Franklin

450
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: ain't in here. Ain't even a refa, no a refa,

451
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: not even my head, not even hell yeah, it's not

452
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: even hand clapping. I couldn't. I could not find one.

453
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: And that thing blew me. It blew me. I was

454
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: so She said, maybe there's a culture of gospel that

455
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 1: I've never heard of, or how could blue grass is

456
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: happening here? What in the bluegrass? What in the course

457
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: of these out football with us up? We'll be back

458
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: after the break. I won't tell y'all want other lady

459
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: that's in that tribe that I kind of mess with.

460
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: She my girlfriend, she's been my girlfriend for thirty years.

461
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: And her name is Cindy Lapper because you can always

462
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: the pen. Yes, so here here's a here's a Cindy

463
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: Lapper like like also parallel is um with Annie Lennox. Yes, children,

464
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: Like when I tell you, I feel like that could

465
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 1: that's definitely who I'm trying to have wine with on

466
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: a on a Friday. You know what it is. I

467
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: figured it out just now. They're they're white women, but

468
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 1: they're also so fit. Oh yeah, we are doing that. Well.

469
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: My my white lady is definitely a white lady. And

470
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: she grew up, you know, um in a very very

471
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: wealthy family, and you know she's experienced that lifestyle and

472
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: she's you know, she's um not wealthy, but she's comfortable.

473
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: You know it could be more so. She she wants dad,

474
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: who doesn't we We we do our thrift shopping and

475
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: we do our little spots and you know, I just

476
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: I do really love it when we're out and she's like,

477
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: black lady, look at this, look at this, And I'm like, oh,

478
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, white lady, you should

479
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: get that. You can I ask you about your white friend.

480
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: Does your white lady friend? Um? Because I know, we

481
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: talked about politics. This is always something that that burned

482
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: me to Death's super political. So but does she know

483
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: the difference between women's rights and black women's rights or

484
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: just she just you know that it is an interesting

485
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: to a point, I'm pretty sure she does. I'm pretty

486
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: sure she's Okay. Well, I will say this, I've gone

487
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: kind of close to really cool white woman who is lesbian,

488
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: married with children. So we have a lot in common

489
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: in terms of just like our life, the way we

490
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: live our lives. And and I don't know, sometimes I

491
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: just feel like white folks who who have experienced some

492
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: kind of marginalization in their lives kind of have a

493
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: bit of a different entrance point with me. And I

494
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: feel like our conversations in terms of just like relatability,

495
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: there's there's something in there that we can meet, even

496
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: sometimes without talking about that specifically. There's a kind of

497
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: a humility and a different type of thing that comes

498
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,959
Speaker 1: from having experienced some kind of marginalization in the world

499
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: and society that we can kind of meet in that

500
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: place and there's just an openness, you know what I mean.

501
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 1: And I feel like, you know, and and and and

502
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: this is not the downplay the fact that there's hell

503
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: of racism within the LGBTQ community. So obviously just by

504
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: virtue of being a lesbian doesn't mean she ain't gonna

505
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: be no racist. But the point is that I will

506
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: say that, like she and I have have an interesting

507
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: kind of entrance point with each other, and generally speaking,

508
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: like when we talk, I feel like we hear each other,

509
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I don't have to

510
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: go into the deep explanation about certain things, and she

511
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: kind of has an empathy that empathy with with people

512
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: that I admire, you know what I'm saying. And so

513
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's not that she's never said anything to

514
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: me that I felt like, oh, that was kind of

515
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: typical and white of her to say, because she asked.

516
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: But at the same time too, it's just like her

517
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: general intention and her empathy always wins every time. Every

518
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: interaction I've had with her has made me want to

519
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,719
Speaker 1: have another one. And so there are there's times when

520
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, as a friend, I feel like I'm careful

521
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: to let her know when she's appreciated without talking myself

522
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: out of it, because I feel like, oh, I don't

523
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: want to give her a white person cookie for just

524
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: being a good person. But I'm like, no, we're friends.

525
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: So when she does something that makes me feel when

526
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: she does something that makes me feel seen, and she

527
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: does something that makes me feel loved and care for,

528
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: then I feel like I should tell her that. You

529
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying side by side on my piano.

530
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: Oh lord, why I've been thinking it for? I mean,

531
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: this is the type of minutes I've been thinking that

532
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: I've been thinking it. I've been thinking to feel this

533
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: microphone that sounds all good. It does sound that's that's

534
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: really how me a white lady are? You know what

535
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: I mean? Like she is funny to us to crack

536
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: up of them. I just want to hear out to

537
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 1: each other. I will say this thought definitely letting her

538
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: call you black lady in a white neighborhood, because I

539
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: promise you, y'all, y'a ain't going down to the black

540
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 1: folk letting her call you, no black lady, She go

541
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: get up better. Not she's not gonna get back. She

542
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: will say it because we're we're that. We are that

543
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: with each other, Like there's no need for us to

544
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: pretend to be something that we're not. We are I'm

545
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: talking about other black people hearing her call you black lady,

546
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: and they will hear me say, yeah, white lady, what

547
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: you want, And then they're gonna say, oh, she talking

548
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: to Jill Scott, so she must be cool. They like,

549
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 1: because I was about to say because you're a black person,

550
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: because I was about the same and hotly, I wouldn't.

551
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: I would not appreciate somebody else calling her white lady.

552
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: That's not for you. That's us. That's that's us. We

553
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: say that's our thing, and nobody else could call me

554
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: black lady. I can't imagine any of your white girlfriend

555
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: surprised you with a good old like like I want

556
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: say pro black rent but or something that you you

557
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: was gonna hop on, but she hopped on first. You

558
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, like, how oh yeah, because I

559
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: didn't somebody that said the N word around my white girlfriend.

560
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: And she's been like, what lit my white girlfriend she did?

561
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: I mean she didn't quite get raucous. She got raucus

562
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: in a white girl kind of way, but she didn't

563
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: get like raucus with it. But like she she she'd

564
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: be having her mind. She's always she's always thinking, and

565
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: so her mind is like always going. So she was

566
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: like a couple of times I missed like some meetings

567
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: and some things that we were involved in because you know,

568
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: I was like out of it at the time, and

569
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: she called me. She was like, yeah, I think you

570
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: should come to me, and I was like, well, I

571
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: told you I wasn't coming out to this kind of

572
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: stuff right now, and she was just like, um, yeah,

573
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 1: So like if you don't come, and I was like, so,

574
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: she's won't be running. So it's like she's always thinking ahead,

575
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,479
Speaker 1: like since the room gonna be the room. So I

576
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: feel like, so I like that she's always got her

577
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: brain is always going because she's like because her main

578
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,839
Speaker 1: thing is this the room. She being the ultra ultra

579
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: Lily as White, so her whole thing is like I'm

580
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: not gonna waste my place in this room. Right if

581
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm in the room, you're often to hear it. So

582
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 1: I feel like like that that ship that warms my heart.

583
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: So when I know she in there, when it's Lily Lily,

584
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: and it's like, at least I know somebody's in there

585
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: that ain't gonna let no dumb ship fly. That's an

586
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: accomplice time and accomplish. What we said, the new Joy

587
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: sound coompless, not an ally. Yeah, she's definitely accomplished, and

588
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 1: she gonna know who she is when she when she

589
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 1: listened to this, because I know she listens to the show.

590
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: My other white women friends, they're Yeah, they're all so

591
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: ful when I think about it, they're really connected to

592
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: who they are. They love their family, they love their relationships.

593
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: You know, they're they're loving. They're loving people. Yeah, I don't,

594
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know any because nobody wants to

595
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: be around trash people no matter what. I'm trying to

596
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: be around no trash individual. And uh yeah, now let

597
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: me ask you all this. Huh, y'all know how I go.

598
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 1: You get you one good right white friend, but that

599
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: don't mean they family. Oh girl, yeah, you know that's

600
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: that's that's that's listen. I don't have you ever been

601
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: in a social situation with your good white white and

602
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 1: they around a whole bunch of shady asks Ragley white,

603
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: my good white she keep me away from that was

604
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 1: family member. She let me know that they exist, and

605
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: then she keep me wrong because she'd rather not be

606
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 1: about but had white folks, basically telling all they raggedy

607
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: white family listen to, just trying to figure I had

608
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: a friend, and I really considered her a friend, Okay,

609
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: and during that last election, this check. First of all,

610
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: I have been I have been doing business with her

611
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: for years. I was very loving towards her children, like

612
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: on a regular basis. Um. She was loving to me

613
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 1: and mine and helpful in a lot of ways. And

614
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 1: one day she posted something on Facebook and it was

615
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 1: some real It was what what did she say? Police

616
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: lives matter and black lives matter where? That's what she's

617
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 1: Black lives matter where, That's what she said. And I

618
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: was like, what, Okay, maybe maybe maybe she had posted

619
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: it was some inner city situation where some something was

620
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: shot something, and she posted that and said black lives

621
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: matter where. And I was took me a second. I

622
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: was like, way, okay, wait minute, let me see what

623
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: she's trying to say. And it was like, let me

624
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: just slow down and let me just try to understand

625
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: what she's saying here. And this ship just got worse

626
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: and worse with every post. I'm surprised, but that's why

627
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: you go back in your mind over there real like

628
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. And I know that I had come through

629
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: for her. She she was in a situation and you know,

630
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 1: needed to borrow something and I you know, blended to her.

631
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: I was just I was like shocked and amazed that

632
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: all of these years and in the majority of her

633
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: business was black people. So that messages, that phone call

634
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: and those text messages went real fast, real fast. She

635
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 1: specifically she was a travel agent for most of the

636
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,760
Speaker 1: artists that we know about, you know what I'm talking about,

637
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,760
Speaker 1: and all of those all of that that those messages

638
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: went around real was like stop glad. Of course, I'm

639
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,479
Speaker 1: not glad the tragedy, but I'm with her that stuff

640
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: happened last No, I mean, I'm just yeah, because it

641
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: brought a lot of people up to the surface so

642
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: kind of needed to. There's a lot of people who

643
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: work with black people and depending on black people for stuff,

644
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 1: but they still don't work with black people in their life.

645
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we had a friend who who had come

646
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 1: to the house. I hang do the right thing on

647
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: the wall, and that's but that's what I'm thinking that

648
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: it wasn't you know, it wasn't a genuine situation that Maddack,

649
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: but it was all it was all the artists that

650
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 1: she was working and getting her money, you know what

651
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: I mean that maybe she had a relationship with all

652
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: of us in that way, but when that ship hit

653
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,320
Speaker 1: the fans, that was definitely a stop and make phone calls.

654
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 1: Do not use this to a studio apartment, but like

655
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: you get yourself a ticket to where you're going, and

656
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: that side of my business, like, ma'am, you you do

657
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: know that we're following you where all your clients? You

658
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: did do know that? More conversation after this break. I

659
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: have a friend who ended a friendship because so when

660
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: she was really close to the husband was really on

661
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: that type time. So the girl was cool, but her

662
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: husband was on Facebook going in and she's like, I

663
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: care about you since but like, I can't do it

664
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: in that situation. I can't do it. And honestly, like

665
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: it made me think about a lot of things because

666
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: I mean, me and my husband Donna share all the

667
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: same politics, so I try to think about that, like, well,

668
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 1: how would that feel like if somebody was like And again,

669
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 1: I think it's so interesting because like in my family,

670
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: a lot of times, if you're my friend, most people

671
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 1: who are my friends end up me and my friends,

672
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: and then my friends become their friend, Like you know

673
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like they get interfilled, you know what

674
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: I mean. So it's like, so I always think about

675
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: the whole idea of like when you have white friends,

676
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: Like I said, how deep, how deep can you get

677
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: embedded into their life because it just for them is

678
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: but so far you can go before you find the racist,

679
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: before you find the person just problematic. And it's like

680
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: and I think that that that poses a really like

681
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: unique situation with black folk when they're really trying to

682
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: be friend white people. You know what I'm saying, Girl,

683
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: I wish I could tell I wish I could tell

684
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 1: y'all this story about a white person that had been

685
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: implanted in my life. The uh. And in the beginning,

686
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: everything was sweet. I was, that's cool, we didn't do that,

687
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: We're cool. And then there were a couple of little

688
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 1: things like at one time you thought we were in

689
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: an in another room and I heard you talking to

690
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 1: your friend on the phone and you was like, my nigga,

691
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: and like you apologize for that, and you tearfully apologize

692
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: for that, and that was great, but okay, that was

693
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 1: like one for me. And then it was another time

694
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: when you you came and you wanted to spend time

695
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: on Juneteenths and on you. I just I can't even tell.

696
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: I wish I could too much. I wish I could share.

697
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: I just don't want to get in trouble. But it's

698
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: just too much. That's why I don't know. That's something

699
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: about being able to separate rate your white friend and

700
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: just have a friendship outside of talking about race and

701
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: all of that other stuff. I know some people kind

702
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 1: of believe in that, but after experiencing the little small

703
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: experience that I only gave you all a taste stuff,

704
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know if I want to be

705
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: comforable and to talk to you about everything. I don't

706
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: want to feel like all tight in my shoulders when

707
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: something come up or a news story come up on

708
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: the TV and we're both watching it, and it's like

709
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 1: I don't want that, like even worse feeling an embarrassing

710
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: moment where it was me. I was talking to my

711
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,399
Speaker 1: my black girlfriend and she was at her at her

712
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: very very sweet they're so funning, sweet, sweet loving family.

713
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: She was over their house chilling with them, and I

714
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 1: was on speaker and I didn't know it, and I

715
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 1: was like, oh man, so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed, and

716
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: I was like, well, you know how they smell when

717
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: they wet. It was but wait, she's black. But let

718
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 1: me just like a girlfriend is black and very close friends.

719
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 1: They know they weren't in laws and friends and she

720
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: loves them and I know why because they're they're truly nice, sweet.

721
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: Somebody would just have a black to black moment. But

722
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: but let me just say this. I will say this,

723
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: but I felt terrible. White people who are really close

724
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: to black people know that joke. Okay, they mean I

725
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: like it, They know it. That's that's the way to

726
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 1: test that they know that we say it. You know,

727
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: I always wanted to know. I wanted to know what

728
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: do we smell like to them? Food? Why did I

729
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: just I'm so ignorant because I just thought about my

730
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: food and cocoa girlfriend, And every time I just always

731
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: thought of food and cocoa butter. That's what we smell

732
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: on Did you ask this or is it your g this?

733
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: This is honestly, I've never a lie to you. When

734
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: I go for a black people's house, that's what I smell.

735
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: You smell food and cookle butter or or some sort

736
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: of fragrance that is linked to a natural substanibrease. Yeah,

737
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: hair grease, anything to have like a natural oil or

738
00:43:54,440 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: like whatever whatever. But I don't smell that when I

739
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: go over. This is terrible. I don't smell that though

740
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: I didn't. Okay, okay, okay, okay, let let me let's see.

741
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:15,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to. I mean, I'm just speaking. I'm just

742
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 1: speaking honestly. No, No, I'm seriously, I'm speaking honestly. But

743
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 1: let me just say this again. I speak from a

744
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: very limited thing because I've not gotten but so close

745
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: to any person that's really that close in my adult life. Now,

746
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: in my family, many of my cousins have married white women.

747
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: My other cousin married a white man. I have a

748
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 1: cousin who was adopted who was white. So his wife

749
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: was a little bit like blown away when she came

750
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: to my mother's funeral, and and and there was not

751
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 1: a single day was the only did you say? Did

752
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: you say? Not to cut you off, friend, but did

753
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 1: you just say? I have black people, and I have

754
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: white people in my some of my friends. I have

755
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: white people in my family. I am familiar with the

756
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: white I do. I am with the whites and I'm

757
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: only saying. I'm only say with white people, they have

758
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: been very best to me, and they have not smelled

759
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: at all. I've never had an inkling of a But

760
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 1: y'all do ship. But let's just say to be specific

761
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 1: that there it's now, it's not it's white people and

762
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: black people, it's it's people that poverty has a scent.

763
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: You can bring us back. Smells like me black poverty. God, no, Jill,

764
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop you sure you want to do this,

765
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: you want to do this? Don't say it. Don't don't

766
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: say it smells like syrup. If it's not black poverty

767
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: smells like syrup. Have you ever met like a kid

768
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: that smells like syrup? Like, guy here, you not take

769
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 1: a bath like the syrup is like corn syrup because

770
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: it's in a lot of cheaper foods. I'm just saying

771
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: it's coming out. Of course. Anyway, we have, we veered,

772
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 1: we have veered. Let's turn back, okay, and again right now,

773
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: thank you for being a friend. Yeah, we've traveled down.

774
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 1: You pulled me, You pulled me back from some foolishness

775
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: that I don't even need. Yeah, we got that's what

776
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: you need. A good say that got you boom? Can

777
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: she say boom? I like a boo with with the

778
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: with the with the high end. Got you VI? I'm

779
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 1: good with though. That's why I know it's bad. I'm sorry,

780
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 1: I'm look, God is not through with you. That's true.

781
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: What I will say is this, I will consider I

782
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: can't care. We consider Janis Johnson in the front of

783
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 1: the show because she was on the show and we

784
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 1: loved it. So so j this talk to me about

785
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 1: diverse friend groups, right, one thing? And I know this

786
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 1: has come up a lot. No, this has come up

787
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 1: a lot. Now, this has come up a lot like

788
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: here recently, where it comes to like black folk when

789
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: you're doing things and you need a certain kind of

790
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 1: support black folks. Being black is a full time engagement, okay,

791
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: and some things you just don't need to go to

792
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 1: your black friends for, you know what I'm saying. And

793
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 1: I think there's there's becoming a better conversation around how

794
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: you support black people in your life, whether they're close

795
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 1: to you or whether they're just black folks who you

796
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: know exist. And I will say that in terms of

797
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: friendship is concerned like yeah, if I'm raising money for something, yeah,

798
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask everybody that I know, but I also

799
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: try to think about like, Okay, listen, am I gonna

800
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 1: go ask black folks that already got a million things

801
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 1: already happened in their lives. I'm gonna ask these white

802
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: folks who's making three times what I make? No, I'm sorry,

803
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just saying that

804
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 1: this is this is a real conversation. That's how you

805
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: and busy. But okay, the white folks is they got

806
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,799
Speaker 1: time and there's money. I'm not saying black folks not

807
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: getting money. Listen, I'm not saying that black folks not

808
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 1: out here getting money. What I'm saying is everywhere a

809
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: black person is getting money, a white person getting three

810
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: folk times. Now that's the true. Okay, I'm with you now.

811
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,720
Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is, Okay, when you got things

812
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: you're trying to get done and things that are particularly

813
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: things that are going to improve a black person's life

814
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 1: name of your own first, but it also other people

815
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: around you, because you know we're givers, then you need

816
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 1: to start going to your white friends. And if you

817
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: don't have no white friends, then guess what you're doing

818
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: putting the burden back on black people. So befriend white

819
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: people so that they can do what they need to

820
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: do because they because not what you were saying that

821
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. It sounds tactical. I'm not mad

822
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: at it's but it's also shooting from them. That's I mean,

823
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 1: everybody can say I'm another, but even in that other

824
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 1: and it's it's just another, just different level. It's just

825
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: not the same. Jim wants to keep it organic. Hands up.

826
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 1: Choose your friends wisely. Friends, Choose regardless of regardless of

827
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: what color they are, and because of what color they are,

828
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: choose your friends very, very wisely. Make sure that they

829
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 1: benefit your life and that they're not sucking the juice

830
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 1: and the marrow out of your bones. Yeah, let them,

831
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: let them be of service to you and let you,

832
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: you know, be a be a blessing to them too.

833
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: Ain't nobody got time for the bullshit, not even a

834
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: little bit. Thank you so much for listening to Jay

835
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: dot Ilda podcast. I hope you enjoyed our conversation today.

836
00:49:51,880 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: I did, I really did. Hi. If you have comments

837
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey, Jill,

838
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: if you want to add to this conversation. That's eight

839
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:25,720
Speaker 1: six six, three nine five four five five. Don't forget

840
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 1: to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to.

841
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: You might just hear your message on a future episode.

842
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot

843
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: Il the podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott,

844
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 1: Laia st Clair and Agr Graden Danceler. It's executive producers

845
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 1: are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced

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Speaker 1: by la st Clair. The editing and sound design for

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Speaker 1: this episode we're done by Christina Lawnger. Well, let's just

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Speaker 1: slide right on out of people, don't especially says we

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Speaker 1: haven't gotten our stuff back and we don't know what

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Speaker 1: the percentages are, so when we just going to slide

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Speaker 1: out quickly get our pocketbooks? M h I really, I'm

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Speaker 1: talking non sofo up here, umbrella you can have that.

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Speaker 1: I'll get an one. I'll just put that by the

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Speaker 1: door for you, guess. J dot Ill is a production

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Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio,

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00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

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Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.