Speaker 1: What's the point of climbing this mountain that the world
Speaker 1: says we should climb in order to be successful and
Speaker 1: happy and realize at the end of a career the
Speaker 1: end of a life, We've climbed the wrong mountain.
Speaker 2: International best selling author.
Speaker 1: Twenty million plus copies sold.
Speaker 2: One of the world's top leadership experts, Robin Sharma.
Speaker 1: I've mentored a lot of super rich people and money
Speaker 1: is all they have.
Speaker 3: How does one balance ambition without attachment? Hey everyone, I've
Speaker 3: got some huge news to share with you. In the
Speaker 3: last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent of our
Speaker 3: audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed
Speaker 3: to this channel. There's research that shows that if you
Speaker 3: want to create a habit, make it easy to access.
Speaker 3: By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of
Speaker 3: learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. This
Speaker 3: would also mean the absolute world to me and help
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Speaker 2: Subscribe right now. The number one health and wellness podcast.
Speaker 3: Jay Sheety Jay Shetty Sews.
Speaker 2: Only Jay shet.
Speaker 3: Hey everyone, Welcome back to on Purpose, the place you
Speaker 3: come to to become happier, healthier, and more healed. I'm
Speaker 3: so grateful that I get to sit down with some
Speaker 3: of the most fascinating people in the world, thought leaders, experts,
Speaker 3: insight leaders, celebrities, athletes and artists to mind their brain
Speaker 3: and their minds for insights, hacks and habits that I
Speaker 3: know will improve yours. Today I get to sit down
Speaker 3: with one of my all time favorite guests. The fact
Speaker 3: that he's not sat with me for the last five
Speaker 3: years is shocking to me because I've been a fan
Speaker 3: of his work ever since I was a teenager. I
Speaker 3: got to talk about it with him the last time
Speaker 3: he was on the show, and today we're going to
Speaker 3: be talking about his new book that I cannot wait
Speaker 3: for you to read. I promise you this is a
Speaker 3: book that you're going to invest some time and energy
Speaker 3: in this year that will transform your life. I'm speaking
Speaker 3: about the one and only Robin Sharma, globally respected humanitarian
Speaker 3: who for over a quarter of a century has been
Speaker 3: devoted to helping human beings realize their native gifts. Robin's
Speaker 3: number one international best sellers such as The Five Am Club,
Speaker 3: The Everyday Hero Manifesto, The Monk Who sold is Ferrari
Speaker 3: The Greatness Guide and Who Will Cry When You Die
Speaker 3: have sold over twenty five million copies. And Robin's newest
Speaker 3: book that we're talking about today is called The Wealth
Speaker 3: Money Can't Buy The Eight Hidden Habits to live your
Speaker 3: richest Life. Please, welcome to the show, Robin Sharma Jee.
Speaker 1: It's such a pleasure to see you again.
Speaker 3: Hey, I saw you outside and we both felt it.
Speaker 3: I really appreciated that because there was this childlike excitement
Speaker 3: that you were coming today. And when I was reading
Speaker 3: this book, and I've loved all book, so I'm a
Speaker 3: fan already, but when I was reading this book, I
Speaker 3: loved it even more so because it reminded me of
Speaker 3: the kind of books I grew up on.
Speaker 2: And what I mean by that is.
Speaker 3: It's fresh, it's new, it's innovative, but it speaks to
Speaker 3: that deep soul consciousness level of us as humans. And
Speaker 3: it speaks simply. It speaks effortlessly, it speaks poignantly. And
Speaker 3: I have so many questions I want to ask you today,
Speaker 3: but I just wanted to thank you because your work
Speaker 3: over the years has been masterful. Getting to know you
Speaker 3: personally has been beautiful. We often exchange text messages, and
Speaker 3: I remember even when my first book came out, the
Speaker 3: amount of support you gave me.
Speaker 2: It was huge. And so to meet one of your
Speaker 2: heroes and for them to.
Speaker 3: Live up to and exceed all your expectations is a
Speaker 3: really beautiful experience to have, and I'm glad that I
Speaker 3: get to have that with you. So thank you, Robin,
Speaker 3: thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Well, You're more than generous. Jay. When I saw you
Speaker 1: herode of this studio, I felt the same way. There
Speaker 1: was a sparkle in my eye, and I've been I've
Speaker 1: been looking forward to seeing you. So thank you for
Speaker 1: such kind words. You're You're more than kind and more
Speaker 1: than humble. So thank you.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, all right, Well, let's dive straight in.
Speaker 3: And whenever I'm interviewing someone about a new book, I
Speaker 3: like to not give away the book, but I like
Speaker 3: to have a conversation around the concepts and themes that
Speaker 3: stood out.
Speaker 2: To me that I think are so powerful.
Speaker 3: And when we talk about living a rich life, when
Speaker 3: we talk about living a full life, it's a really
Speaker 3: interesting conversation because I think all of us have grown
Speaker 3: up with definitions of what a good life looks like.
Speaker 3: And obviously in the book you break down the eight
Speaker 3: hidden habits as you call them, of the areas that matter.
Speaker 3: But you have so many amazing chapters in it that
Speaker 3: they dive into the depths of it. And the one
Speaker 3: first one that resonated with me was don't be a
Speaker 3: resentment collector. And when I look at that chapter, I
Speaker 3: was thinking about people I know in my life first,
Speaker 3: thinking about people I speak to, and I realized that
Speaker 3: actually it's very easy, because life can be hard, because
Speaker 3: life can be challenging, to collect our resentments, to place
Speaker 3: them on a wall almost as art, and to refer
Speaker 3: to them and talk about them and find validation and
Speaker 3: value through them. What's a resentment that you've seen people
Speaker 3: carry around for the longest period of time.
Speaker 1: Well, so you saw a lot of interesting things in there.
Speaker 1: And the first thing is there has been a cultural
Speaker 1: hypnosis Jay that you are rich when you have a
Speaker 1: lot of money, You're rich when you have a big
Speaker 1: stock portfolio, You're rich when you get to the top
Speaker 1: of the financial mountain. And for fifteen plus years, this
Speaker 1: is something of experienced mentoring billionaire sports superstars, CEOs, movement makers.
Speaker 1: A lot of these people sadly are cash rich and
Speaker 1: their life poor. And so what's the point of climbing
Speaker 1: this mountain that the the world says we should climb
Speaker 1: in order to be successful and happy and realize at
Speaker 1: the end of a career, at the end of a life,
Speaker 1: we've climbed the wrong mountain. So this book is based around,
Speaker 1: as you know, the eight forms of wealth. Now, I
Speaker 1: want to be really clear. Money is one of the
Speaker 1: forms of wealth. Money puts food on the family table,
Speaker 1: It gives us freedom, it allows us to do great
Speaker 1: things for people in need. Having said that, there are
Speaker 1: seven other forms of wealth. The first form of wealth
Speaker 1: is growth. We were talking about that before we started
Speaker 1: to be in hot. Pursuit of your finest self is
Speaker 1: a form of wealth. To spend your days doing a
Speaker 1: little bit of work on yourself so you know more
Speaker 1: of your gifts and your talent. So you build wisdom,
Speaker 1: so you build wonder, so you build bravery as a
Speaker 1: form of wealth. And so in that first section, there's
Speaker 1: twenty five chapters. One of them is don't be a
Speaker 1: resentment collector. And I really do think that a lot
Speaker 1: of us go through life and people hurt us and
Speaker 1: rather than process through it, metabolize the hurt and use
Speaker 1: pain as a purifier. We swallow it and we allow
Speaker 1: it to build up, and it creates what I call
Speaker 1: in the book a resentment stack. And it's that old idea,
Speaker 1: you know, heal what hurts you, so you don't go
Speaker 1: out there and bleed on people who didn't cut you,
Speaker 1: and so moving through. As you know, entrepreneurs don't really
Speaker 1: talk about forgiveness, and athletes usually don't. But if we
Speaker 1: move through the forgiveness and let the people who've hurt
Speaker 1: us off of our backs, we build intimacy with our creativity.
Speaker 1: We get to know ourselves. Energy rises, wellness rises, and
Speaker 1: we just become more of the people we're meant to be.
Speaker 3: I find often, don't you feel this, that humans oscillate
Speaker 3: between extremes. So often we have a culture that idolizes money,
Speaker 3: and then we sometimes develop a mindset that demonizes me money.
Speaker 3: We have a culture that may idolize fame, and then
Speaker 3: we demonize fame. We idolize success, and then we demonize success.
Speaker 3: And we're not great at finding the neutralized, the purified version,
Speaker 3: which not only are we deeply seeking, but seems to
Speaker 3: be the healthiest place to land. And so you spoke
Speaker 3: about and I was very happy to see that money
Speaker 3: is one of the forms of wealth, and you're just
Speaker 3: expanding that there are seven others. But I find that
Speaker 3: often when people hear like and I think I've been
Speaker 3: very clear that I've never talked about how money doesn't
Speaker 3: buy happiness, because I think money is a really powerful
Speaker 3: energy and powerful resource, which you of course talk about
Speaker 3: in this book as well. But why do you think
Speaker 3: or how do we stop ourselves from idolizing and then
Speaker 3: oscillating to demonizing, And what is the middle path, like,
Speaker 3: what is that perspective that we need to develop.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful question. Allow money to be your servant,
Speaker 1: not your master. And it's that old proverb be in
Speaker 1: the world, but not of the world. So be in
Speaker 1: the world. Make money. There's twenty five chapters on how
Speaker 1: the billionaires do it. Make money, have nice things, go
Speaker 1: through life, treat yourself, treat your family. Having said that,
Speaker 1: don't identify with your wealth, your financial wealth. A lot
Speaker 1: of people their self identity is determined by their net worth.
Speaker 1: Makes me think of Jim Carrey. We're in the land
Speaker 1: of films and movie stars right here, and he said,
Speaker 1: you know, I wish everyone could be rich and famous
Speaker 1: to realize it doesn't make a difference. And so it's
Speaker 1: almost as if we're going through life we all have
Speaker 1: holes within us, and we're looking for outer things to
Speaker 1: fill the holes. And I guess what I would humbly
Speaker 1: suggest is nothing on the outside will ever fill the
Speaker 1: holes we're trying to fill on the inside. So have
Speaker 1: the nice car, have the nice house, take the great vacations,
Speaker 1: but don't be defined by those and don't think those
Speaker 1: things are going to somehow make your wake up one
Speaker 1: Friday morning feeling fantastic. And that's where the other seven
Speaker 1: forms of wealth come in. Money is one of the
Speaker 1: forms of wealth, but there are seven others, for example, growth, wellness, family, craft,
Speaker 1: and those kinds of things as we pursue them. I mean,
Speaker 1: for example, number form of wealth, number three. Family. I've
Speaker 1: mentored a lot of super rich people and money is
Speaker 1: all they have. And I've been to places where I
Speaker 1: remember one in particular, I write about it. I was
Speaker 1: asked to attend an assignment to mentor someone most beautiful
Speaker 1: house I've ever seen. I walked by his art collection,
Speaker 1: walked by his car collection, indoors, walked by his book collection,
Speaker 1: went to a subterranean passage smelt cigar. Finally got to
Speaker 1: the room where the Titan of Industry was and we
Speaker 1: talked for two two hours. And through the conversation I
Speaker 1: asked myself, general, so who do you share all this with?
Speaker 1: Must be amazing, you must be able to do anything
Speaker 1: with the people you love. And there was just a long,
Speaker 1: long silence. And he has no family and they won't
Speaker 1: talk to him. He's all alone. And so what's the
Speaker 1: point of having the beautiful house and all the nice
Speaker 1: things if you don't have someone to share it with?
Speaker 1: You know. I was recently with my parents. My dad
Speaker 1: will be eighty seven in June. And the more years
Speaker 1: I get behind my belt, the more I realize, like,
Speaker 1: family is so incredibly important. There's a chapter have three
Speaker 1: great friends, Yeah right, not a thousand or whatever digital friends.
Speaker 1: Three great friends. They allow you to be seen and
Speaker 1: you can be yourself with and that's a form of riches.
Speaker 1: In that chapter on or that section on family, there's
Speaker 1: all also something called the ten thousand dinners Room, and
Speaker 1: that comes from Aisha Varidegg's one of the UK's most
Speaker 1: famous divorce lawyers, and she was asked, you know, look,
Speaker 1: you've seen so many relationships fall apart. Can you share
Speaker 1: what makes a great relationships? Number one, she said, separate bedrooms?
Speaker 1: And number two, she said, ten thousand dinners. If you
Speaker 1: can see yourself having ten thousand dinners with someone, because
Speaker 1: looks and fades, lust might dissolve. But if you can
Speaker 1: see yourself having ten thousand dinners with someone, hold them close,
Speaker 1: because great love is heard defined.
Speaker 3: How does one balance ambition without attachment? Because I feel
Speaker 3: that the natural cause of events for most of us
Speaker 3: is we have ambitional drive. We then have achievement, and
Speaker 3: then that achievement leads to attachment because our value becomes
Speaker 3: our ability to get things or ability to have achieved.
Speaker 3: How do you have but not have the attachment?
Speaker 2: The question?
Speaker 1: I think human beings are built to progress. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think we are happiest not when we're resting. I
Speaker 1: mean there's a lot in the wealth money can't buy
Speaker 1: about recovery, enjoying life and all those things. Having said that,
Speaker 1: I think we are happiest when we are materializing our
Speaker 1: primal gifts. We are happiest when we are chasing what
Speaker 1: I call your project X. We are happiest when we're
Speaker 1: moving in the direction of our Mount Everest. So ambition
Speaker 1: is not a bad thing. I would say, what's the
Speaker 1: root of it, though? What's driving you? Are you driving it?
Speaker 1: Is it driving you from unhealthy place? Are you doing
Speaker 1: it for f FA fame, fortune and applause? Are you
Speaker 1: doing it because really deep inside, you're overcompensating. You don't
Speaker 1: like yourself very much, so you're hoping to get the
Speaker 1: applause in the world to make yourself feel better. But
Speaker 1: if you are ambitious and creating your taj Ma holes,
Speaker 1: or you're capturing the Rye or your Moonlight Son because
Speaker 1: you want to push magic into the world. If you're
Speaker 1: doing it because you're in pursuit of a craft, the
Speaker 1: fourth form of wealth, pursuing a craft. If you're doing
Speaker 1: it because you want to be of service Mahafmagandhi, I
Speaker 1: know one of your heroes as well. He said to
Speaker 1: lose yourself and service and others is to find yourself.
Speaker 1: So if that's what's driving you, then I believe your
Speaker 1: ambition is absolutely healthy and only good.
Speaker 3: Absolutely I couldn't agree more, I think, And what's really
Speaker 3: interesting about that way you process ambition is that it's
Speaker 3: so internal. Externally, two people could look like they're living
Speaker 3: the same exact life, but internally they're living a completely
Speaker 3: different one because one is motivated by attachment and one
Speaker 3: is motivated by service. Right, one is motivated by f FA,
Speaker 3: as you said, and one is motivated by service. It
Speaker 3: can only actually ever be known by the individual and
Speaker 3: those closest to them. And one of the things that
Speaker 3: I know my audience struggle with. I know that my
Speaker 3: friends struggle with the people in my life. And I
Speaker 3: read this chapter, I was like, this is the one
Speaker 3: that I'm going to tell them to listen to and
Speaker 3: read immediately. You say the best way to start is
Speaker 3: to start, And I find that everyone I know, or
Speaker 3: a lot of people I know, I should say, struggle
Speaker 3: to start because they're so scared of what people will say.
Speaker 3: They're so scared of what people will think. They're so
Speaker 3: scared of rejection, they're scared of failure. I spoke to
Speaker 3: a friend the other day. He said to me, he said, Jay,
Speaker 3: I struggle with trying new things because since I was young,
Speaker 3: I kind of followed a path.
Speaker 2: I went to college.
Speaker 3: I knew I was going to study this particular thing,
Speaker 3: so I got that degree I only applied to two jobs,
Speaker 3: and I got both of them because I'd studied the
Speaker 3: right degree, and so I've.
Speaker 2: Never really had a door shut on me before.
Speaker 3: So now that I want to do something different, it's
Speaker 3: impossible to think that nine out of ten doors may close.
Speaker 3: So I find that so many people struggle to start,
Speaker 3: even though we know it's the place to start, because
Speaker 3: they're so scared of rejection, lack of validation, or failure.
Speaker 3: So how do we start when that's what's going on
Speaker 3: in our head?
Speaker 1: How do you write the book that'll change the world.
Speaker 1: You go home and you write the first page. How
Speaker 1: do you get super fit? If you want to get
Speaker 1: super fit, you go on the first walk. How do
Speaker 1: you find true love if you are all alone? You
Speaker 1: talk to that person in the grocery store. As simple
Speaker 1: as it sounds. If you look at the great monuments
Speaker 1: taj Mahal twenty two years, one of the wonders in
Speaker 1: the world that started with the first block. Another wonder
Speaker 1: if the world the Great Pyramid of Giza twenty five
Speaker 1: hundred blocks, fifty thousand workers, one of the monuments the
Speaker 1: world looks to is started with that first stone. So
Speaker 1: I was in Dubai on a radio show, and this
Speaker 1: wonderful broadcaster asked me, like, you know, this is all fantastic,
Speaker 1: and so where do we start? And I think you're right.
Speaker 1: The very question speaks of some degree of fear, because
Speaker 1: underneath it is really exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 2: If I.
Speaker 1: Stand in my true power, if I live my values,
Speaker 1: if I chase my epical ambitions, if I live the
Speaker 1: life I truly want to live, if I let go
Speaker 1: of the energy vampires and filled my life with people
Speaker 1: whose lives I want to be living. If I become
Speaker 1: all those things, what if I fail? What if I stumble?
Speaker 1: What if I get laughed at? And that's where I
Speaker 1: think it's really important. Or remember the shortness of life.
Speaker 1: That's why people when they talk about mortality, they go
Speaker 1: they almost apologize, sorry to talk about the shortness of life.
Speaker 1: Or but I think think talking about the shortness of
Speaker 1: our lives is inspirational because when we remember how quick
Speaker 1: a human life goes by, no matter how long we
Speaker 1: get to live, and when we may be every day
Speaker 1: in our meditations or in our journaling and our private conversations,
Speaker 1: we remind ourselves soon or late, we will be nothing
Speaker 1: more than a pile of dust on a mantle above
Speaker 1: a fireplace, next to Little League trophies. Number one, we
Speaker 1: don't take ourselves too seriously, and number two we live
Speaker 1: to the point. I think what we are as human
Speaker 1: beings is we are great postponers. We are busy being busy.
Speaker 1: We are maximalists versus minimalists. We put off We're going
Speaker 1: to do these things later. But accident, illness, death, all
Speaker 1: those things are a part of life. And I think
Speaker 1: it's as simple as it sounds, it's really important. One
Speaker 1: of the chapters in the book is put your last
Speaker 1: day first. Another chapter at the end is have a
Speaker 1: living funeral by the cake, by the daisies. Invite your family,
Speaker 1: hear what they would say about you, tell them how
Speaker 1: much you love them, and remind yourself that life is
Speaker 1: really very short.
Speaker 3: What have you seen in the people that you've coached,
Speaker 3: people that you've worked with seminars for you know, twenty
Speaker 3: five years or more. Now, what have you seen has
Speaker 3: allowed people to give themselves the permission to fail?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: Where have you seen people become comfortable with discomfort and failure?
Speaker 3: What has been that habit or that practice that has
Speaker 3: made them go, this is okay, this is normal.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: I would say, first of all, MVP. As you know
Speaker 1: in athletics, MVP is most valuable player, and that's an
Speaker 1: acronym I use for meditation, visualization, and prayer. So you know,
Speaker 1: I wrote the five Am Club, and for years I
Speaker 1: get up at five and I do the victory Hour.
Speaker 1: But these days I get up at four and it's
Speaker 1: really beautiful for me. I live in this old farmhouse
Speaker 1: in Tuscany, and I hear the roosters off in the distance,
Speaker 1: and I hear these dogs barking, and I just lay
Speaker 1: there in bed and I meditate and I visualize and
Speaker 1: I pray and it really works. Now, it doesn't transform
Speaker 1: your life in a day. What does, but small, daily,
Speaker 1: seemingly insignificant improvements when done consistently over time, and that
Speaker 1: practice of meditating, I'm becoming less fearful visualizing yourself as
Speaker 1: the person you want to be, maybe in a scenario.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's in a business, maybe it's in a presentation,
Speaker 1: Maybe it's asking someone out. Maybe it's running a marathon
Speaker 1: or just getting to the gym. Seeing yourself with your
Speaker 1: eyes closed while the world is asleep and just feeling
Speaker 1: at a cellular level, and the colors visualization is incredibly powerful.
Speaker 1: And then prayer. It's so easy to forget this time
Speaker 1: honored truth. Every prayer is heard. And if you don't
Speaker 1: believe in God, or you don't believe in spirit, then
Speaker 1: I'm sure you believe in you're subconscious. And so prayer
Speaker 1: MVP is a very powerful tool. Second tool, I call
Speaker 1: it the pre performance paragraph. So what you're write about
Speaker 1: deepens commitment. What you write about sets a default about
Speaker 1: how you're going to be. So writing a paragraph is
Speaker 1: part of your morning routine in your journal about who
Speaker 1: you want to be in that day, brave, strong, resilient, positive,
Speaker 1: Writing it out in detail, just a paragraph is a
Speaker 1: very very powerful tool. And then third thing. I could continue,
Speaker 1: but the third thing is you become your conversations. The
Speaker 1: sixth form of wealth in the wealth money can't buy it.
Speaker 1: It's form of wealth is your community. You become your
Speaker 1: social circle. It's like I don't know if you like
Speaker 1: good wine. A great wine comes down to a great
Speaker 1: tear war. The tear war is the surrounding the ecosystem,
Speaker 1: the wind, the soil, the sun, etc. Well as human beings,
Speaker 1: we become our tear war, and if we are around
Speaker 1: toxic people, if we are around people playing victim, if
Speaker 1: we are around people who stand for low standards, we
Speaker 1: are around people who minimize the power of personal growth,
Speaker 1: Around people who are takers, we will become the people
Speaker 1: we surround ourselves with. Then we could get into the
Speaker 1: science of mirror neurons, which cause us to mimic our
Speaker 1: social circle. We could talk about emotional contagion, which is
Speaker 1: the scientific phenomenon of us adopting the dominant emotions of
Speaker 1: the people we are around. So those would be three things.
Speaker 1: The third thing is to really clean out your social circle,
Speaker 1: get rid of the toxic people. I think it can
Speaker 1: change the world, or be around negative people. You can't
Speaker 1: do both.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the last one is such a you know, we
Speaker 3: know it to be an age old truth, yet we
Speaker 3: struggle with it so much. I always wonder why that is.
Speaker 3: And before I asked you that, I wanted to share. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I find that I've found that whenever I'm complaining about
Speaker 3: someone in my circle, I am in that process becoming
Speaker 3: more like them. Like I remember years ago I was
Speaker 3: complaining about someone because they always were complaining, and I
Speaker 3: found myself becoming the biggest complainer. I knew because I
Speaker 3: was complaining about this individual. And so often we're becoming
Speaker 3: like them, not because we're even mirroring them. We're becoming
Speaker 3: like them because we're behaving like them subconsciously without knowing.
Speaker 3: Why do we find it so hard? We've heard that
Speaker 3: million times. Why do we find it so hard to
Speaker 3: change our circle and to transform the terroir around us?
Speaker 3: Like why do we struggle so badly even though we
Speaker 3: know that we are the average.
Speaker 2: Of the people we spend time with.
Speaker 3: Why is it that we're still stuck in the same circles?
Speaker 1: Often it's because we love them, and I would I
Speaker 1: would say reason, season, lifetime. Some people come into our
Speaker 1: lives for a reason. There's that old idea which is
Speaker 1: some people come back into your life to see if
Speaker 1: we're still stupid. So, you know, some people come into
Speaker 1: our lives for reason. Some people come into our lives
Speaker 1: for a season, and then some people come into our
Speaker 1: lives for a lifetime. Like I think if my partner
Speaker 1: l you know, she's just that person who gets me,
Speaker 1: that person who you know I could have twenty thousand
Speaker 1: dinners with. So I think we struggle because sometimes these
Speaker 1: energy vampires j are our parents or our sisters were
Speaker 1: our best friends, and so we say, well, I love them,
Speaker 1: that's been my friend for ten years or five years.
Speaker 1: But I would say, you know, if you're growing and
Speaker 1: you're reading, and you're doing all these modalities and you
Speaker 1: want to live your richest life and you want to
Speaker 1: materialize your gifts and talents and live at your best,
Speaker 1: and someone isn't growing and they're always questioning you or
Speaker 1: you say here's a new idea project, and they're just
Speaker 1: going that would never work, here the reasons, etc. Then
Speaker 1: you really have to ask yourself if that person is
Speaker 1: good for you and healthy for you. And I would say,
Speaker 1: if you love them, maybe it's a parent that love
Speaker 1: them from afar, or practice selective association and see them
Speaker 1: once a month versus texting with them or chatting with
Speaker 1: them on the phone every day. I'd say the second
Speaker 1: reason why we keep people who are not good for
Speaker 1: us or who are bringing us down in our life
Speaker 1: is the human being doesn't like to change. We just
Speaker 1: don't like to change, and so it's so much. I
Speaker 1: would put it to you this way. I would say,
Speaker 1: the discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the
Speaker 1: illusion of security, and so I would say, yes, it's
Speaker 1: difficult to let people go, and yet that is always
Speaker 1: less dangerous than saying I'm going to allow these people
Speaker 1: to stay in my life if they're just bringing me down.
Speaker 3: It's such an interesting thing because I often find also
Speaker 3: that as we're growing in our personal growth, self de
Speaker 3: element journeys, we're often becoming less compassionate in the beginning,
Speaker 3: Like there's an immature arrogance that develops. So if I'm
Speaker 3: moving faster than these people, I'm better than these people.
Speaker 3: I'm the one doing the self work and they're not
Speaker 3: doing it. And even that mindset in itself is a
Speaker 3: sign that we've got a lot more work to do,
Speaker 3: because if we're working so deeply on ourselves, our compassion
Speaker 3: should more likely expand, and hopefully we'd have the ability
Speaker 3: to set better barriers and boundaries with those individuals and
Speaker 3: develop the idea that we can have a group of
Speaker 3: people that we grow around. And then you have a
Speaker 3: group of people that you have to give to often, right, Like,
Speaker 3: I think that's what our life is made up of.
Speaker 3: Like life isn't just we're not just running by people
Speaker 3: that help grow because we're obviously taking from them as well,
Speaker 3: And we don't want to be in a position where
Speaker 3: we're only giving.
Speaker 2: We want to be able to grow.
Speaker 3: So it's almost like we all have we have two
Speaker 3: sets of groups in our life at any real given time.
Speaker 2: Would you agree with that, Well.
Speaker 1: Oh, I would just say trust trust your joy. I
Speaker 1: think joy is a great GPS. And so yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not in any way suggesting be around people only who
Speaker 1: fuel you and who help you become you at your best.
Speaker 1: I'm simply saying it's about what's healthy, It's about your joy.
Speaker 1: It's about being around people who you vibe with, who
Speaker 1: understand you, who have similar values, who support you, and
Speaker 1: who encourage you. So I think your community is definitely
Speaker 1: a key and absolutely key form of wealth. The form
Speaker 1: of wealth is the fourth excuse me as your craft.
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, it's very easy to fall
Speaker 1: into the trap of thinking a job is a job
Speaker 1: and not realizing that our work offers us an opportunity
Speaker 1: to get to know who we truly are. You know,
Speaker 1: there's a chapter in there about do your project dex
Speaker 1: you know, which is build your And I think the
Speaker 1: world right now needs more magic in the world. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us. What we do is
Speaker 1: we try to push out a lot of content, put
Speaker 1: out a lot. And I would rather do one master
Speaker 1: work than a thousand mediocrites. And I think, you know,
Speaker 1: seeing your craft as a chance to change the world
Speaker 1: is a form of wealth.
Speaker 3: What would you say to people who go robin, you
Speaker 3: know what, I just want to check into my job,
Speaker 3: clock my hours and come home.
Speaker 2: Is that okay? Is there a better way to live?
Speaker 2: What would you say to that?
Speaker 1: I'd say, of course, I mean the great thing about
Speaker 1: a human life as well, get to live in the
Speaker 1: way that we want to live. I've never subscribed to
Speaker 1: the hustle and grind culture. I think that rest is
Speaker 1: not a luxury, it's a necessity. I think we have
Speaker 1: to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Having said that,
Speaker 1: I think almost in the world right now now, hard
Speaker 1: work has a bad reputation. And I just think that,
Speaker 1: you know, seeing your work is noble. Seeing your work
Speaker 1: as a chance to pursue mastery. Seeing your work is
Speaker 1: a chance to serve and delight and astonish is a
Speaker 1: great form. It's a great form of happiness. If someone
Speaker 1: wants to say I just want to finish at five
Speaker 1: and go home. That's absolutely fantastic, I would humbly suggest
Speaker 1: though they might be missing one of the greatest sources
Speaker 1: of joy and well being and under peace. If you
Speaker 1: look at people, really happy people, a lot of them
Speaker 1: say I would never retire. Why would I retire? It's
Speaker 1: my oxygen? And for me, I've got a great family life,
Speaker 1: and I think I have a good lifestyle, and yet
Speaker 1: I just what I do. This is year thirty one
Speaker 1: in the field of leadership and personal development and the
Speaker 1: opportunity to calibrate the craft. I spent one year of
Speaker 1: my life on this book. I did twenty different manusc
Speaker 1: where it's probably ten thousand little optimizations every version. And
Speaker 1: I really suffered on this book, and you know I
Speaker 1: have to. It was suffering. It was hard. I felt
Speaker 1: like giving up. I could have mailed it in. The
Speaker 1: publisher would have said, absolutely fine. But there's a whole
Speaker 1: series of values here, like my family name is on
Speaker 1: that cover. I'm only as good as my last book.
Speaker 1: I think. You know, pushing yourself to the jagged edges
Speaker 1: of your potential is how you grow and you know this.
Speaker 1: But I really feel I have a sacred trust relationship
Speaker 1: with my readers, and you said an intention before we started.
Speaker 1: I set an intention here too, which is, you know,
Speaker 1: to celebrate you for all the good that you do
Speaker 1: in the world, and to have this studio full of light.
Speaker 1: And also I just did a little visualization in prayer
Speaker 1: before I came over here for all the people around,
Speaker 1: the millions and millions of people who listen to your show,
Speaker 1: and you know, as you know, these are real human
Speaker 1: beings with hopes and dreams and fears and insecurities. And
Speaker 1: I thought about as many of them as I possibly could.
Speaker 1: Some are at the top of the mountains. Some people
Speaker 1: are struggling. Some people are in bad relationships. Some people
Speaker 1: are in the relationship off their lifetime. Some people are
Speaker 1: starting a new tech company. Some people are multi billionaires.
Speaker 1: Some people are entertainers, some people are athletes. What am
Speaker 1: I offering. I'm simply saying. I think through our work,
Speaker 1: we have a chance to change lives. I was in
Speaker 1: London recently and I got into this tax on London
Speaker 1: black cab and the gentleman outside it it's almost like
Speaker 1: he was on guard doing noble work. Jay. His car
Speaker 1: was shining, his tires were polished. I walked inside the
Speaker 1: carpeting on the floor was perfect. And as we went
Speaker 1: to Heathrow, I sort of tried to deconstruct his winning formula,
Speaker 1: and this is on this fifth form of wealth. It's
Speaker 1: a fourth form of wealth, seeing your work as your craft.
Speaker 1: And he said, well, you know, I take my job seriously.
Speaker 1: It gives me so much pride. I get to meet
Speaker 1: interesting people. Then when we got to the airport, he goes, look,
Speaker 1: look what I do before every person comes in here.
Speaker 1: And he hit this shampooer and he goes, look, and
Speaker 1: he turned it on and he started shampooing the carpet
Speaker 1: and then he had like the windex. And I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: you know, whether someone is a CEO or a billionaire,
Speaker 1: or a famous tycoon, or a pizza maker or a
Speaker 1: yoga teacher or an astronaut, work has incredible potential to
Speaker 1: help us build intimacy with our mastery, but also give
Speaker 1: us incredible fulfillment. So it's a form of wealth, you
Speaker 1: know what.
Speaker 3: I love hearing that because I had personal experience of
Speaker 3: it as well just last week. So last week was
Speaker 3: one of my best friends birthday. He was in town,
Speaker 3: and so I took him and a friend to Disneyland,
Speaker 3: you know, which is not a couple of hours away
Speaker 3: for his birthday. And it was amazing. We were fortunate
Speaker 3: enough to, you know, have a private guide, like a
Speaker 3: tour guide. Her name was Lexi, and I have not
Speaker 3: met someone.
Speaker 2: This like just for a long time.
Speaker 3: I'd not met someone who is like that passionate, knowledgeable, smart,
Speaker 3: charismatic about their work. She knew every detail of history
Speaker 3: of the Walt Disney park, right, she knew everything.
Speaker 2: She knew where Walt Disney had.
Speaker 3: Spent time, she knew what year that ride was built,
Speaker 3: she knew the little easter eggs and the hidden stories
Speaker 3: about every single ride. Like it was just spectacular to
Speaker 3: be around her and to learn from her. And when
Speaker 3: you're talking about mastering your craft, I was so amazed
Speaker 3: at how, you know, twenty six years old like fully
Speaker 3: mastered the craft of hospitality, tour guide, entertainment, knowledge smart.
Speaker 3: And I said to her at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: because we were just so happy with the experience, I said,
Speaker 3: I said, you're going to run that park one day,
Speaker 3: like you have that energy, like you're going to run
Speaker 3: that park one day. And she said, you know, she
Speaker 3: said to me after it, she was like, it's experiences
Speaker 3: like this they give me joy for what I do.
Speaker 3: And I was just thinking how special it was to
Speaker 3: experience that I love what I do, but to feel
Speaker 3: that from someone, it was it was amazing. So shout
Speaker 3: out to Alexi if you're listening, but it was, it
Speaker 3: was such a beautiful experience, and I think that what's
Speaker 3: happened I feel Robin. I know you work in leadership.
Speaker 3: You worked with so many organizations all across the world,
Speaker 3: like I think, for so long because culture perpetuates in
Speaker 3: cascades down because you've seen the person above you not
Speaker 3: love what they do and not master their craft, but
Speaker 3: do the job. You then do the job and don't
Speaker 3: master your craft. And then the person who's coming up
Speaker 3: beneath you sees the same thing. And then we repeat
Speaker 3: that culture because we see it being rewarded. We don't
Speaker 3: see what you just said. You just gave this beautiful
Speaker 3: example of you know, it took your while to write
Speaker 3: this book. You suffered to write this book. It was
Speaker 3: it was hard work to put it together. And you said,
Speaker 3: I'd rather create a mastery than lots of mediocrits. But
Speaker 3: we see mediocrity being celebrated and rewarded, and masterpiece is
Speaker 3: generally hard to find these days, right because of the
Speaker 3: amount of consumption and the amount of creation, And so
Speaker 3: it almost feels that we have to be able to
Speaker 3: break generational cycles, or break the generational curses, or break
Speaker 3: multi generational culture. How do we get the courage to
Speaker 3: do that when we see everyone doing the opposite around us.
Speaker 1: Well, I think there's a few things that come to mind.
Speaker 1: And the first thing is, you know, I love going
Speaker 1: to art galleries, me too, and I am absolutely inspired.
Speaker 1: I don't know if all your viewers can see it,
Speaker 1: but there's that almost looks like a basque out behind me,
Speaker 1: I know. So I'm just I'm an esthet that's a
Speaker 1: French word, as you know, for a lover of beauty.
Speaker 1: And this is not expensive beauty necessarily. I love the
Speaker 1: beautiful flower. I love going to our galleries and seeing
Speaker 1: the work of the masters. And I often hear in
Speaker 1: La the other day I went to a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of galleries and I was around cy Twombly, yes, or
Speaker 1: I was around for you know, and I just love
Speaker 1: these amazing whether it's about oh, I went to Basquia.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen the Basquia in Negotia,
Speaker 1: Please please go. And what I'm offering is, don't do it.
Speaker 1: Don't do beautiful work for the applause. The applause will
Speaker 1: come as a byproduct. Do beautiful, do your most beautiful work.
Speaker 1: Work hard on it, calibrate it, make it magic. See
Speaker 1: your work work as part of a magic shop for
Speaker 1: what it introduces you to within yourself, and even if
Speaker 1: no one sees it. I think about Vincent Vange, one
Speaker 1: of the greatest artists of all time. He sold two paintings.
Speaker 1: So he didn't do it for the money. He didn't
Speaker 1: do it for the fame, fortune and adoration. He did
Speaker 1: it because he had to do it. And he did
Speaker 1: it because he was an explorer, he was a magician.
Speaker 1: It did something inside him that made him feel very good.
Speaker 1: I think about J. D. Salinger. One of my favorite
Speaker 1: books is Catcher in the rye Jay. He only wrote
Speaker 1: one book and then he checked out into a subterranean
Speaker 1: passage in New Hampshire and he probably wrote I think
Speaker 1: was thirty other books, but he never published one of them.
Speaker 1: So how do you develop this kind of philosophy, Well,
Speaker 1: you stop plugging into the cultural majority and doing what
Speaker 1: everyone is doing, and you do, you take a radical
Speaker 1: act and you start thinking for yourself. And I think
Speaker 1: that's the power of the eight forms of wealth the
Speaker 1: book is based around. It's a framework, it's a mount
Speaker 1: everest for the eight most important elements of a life
Speaker 1: well lived. Doesn't mean you're going to do them all
Speaker 1: in the day, but every day you advance on growth,
Speaker 1: on wellness, on family, on craft, on money, on community,
Speaker 1: on adventure, and on service, and you start to think
Speaker 1: for yourself. And I guess what I'm trying to say
Speaker 1: is you start to live your own life versus your
Speaker 1: neighbor's life. And I think that's a powerful way to live.
Speaker 1: No one wants to get to our last day and
Speaker 1: say we lived like the tribe. We lived like our neighbors.
Speaker 1: There's an acronym in the book called Penham, the five
Speaker 1: forces of Penam. Parents, environment, nation, associations, and media. These
Speaker 1: five forces program us and here's what they do. They
Speaker 1: cause us to forget who truly are. And so I
Speaker 1: think we're born into genie and then we resign ourselves
Speaker 1: into ordinary and we become busy being busy, and we're
Speaker 1: playing with our phones and we're doing what everyone else
Speaker 1: is doing. But deep inside we have a voice of
Speaker 1: wisdom that sees the self betrayal, and we're in pain
Speaker 1: because potential on express turns pain. So we're in pain,
Speaker 1: but we don't know it. And so that's why we
Speaker 1: medicate ourselves with too much phone, too much digital, too
Speaker 1: much work.
Speaker 2: Too much.
Speaker 1: Scrolling, too much gossiping, because we don't like ourselves.
Speaker 3: For sure, said I mean one of the it's so
Speaker 3: funny you said that. One of the things I work
Speaker 3: on with my clients that I work with privately, will
Speaker 3: I'll ask them to we write a book for them,
Speaker 3: which is called their Book of Values, and it's a
Speaker 3: book of values, mindsets, habits that they practice. We design
Speaker 3: the cover, We print the book only one coffee, and
Speaker 3: they carry around with them in their bag wherever they go,
Speaker 3: so wherever in the world they can pull it out
Speaker 3: and whenever they forget all the self work they've been doing,
Speaker 3: they can look back at a guidebook for themselves. And
Speaker 3: I always tell them, we're only ever going to publish
Speaker 3: one of these. This doesn't get shown to your family,
Speaker 3: it doesn't go to your friends. It's not something you
Speaker 3: have to promote, you know, market it. It stays with them.
Speaker 3: And I was inspired by it because I remember reading
Speaker 3: Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Merches. To me, that was the idea
Speaker 3: of it, is like, how could you have a book
Speaker 3: that you carried around that represented you, that held your identity,
Speaker 3: that made you like yourself because that's who you were,
Speaker 3: but you often had to remind yourself of who you
Speaker 3: were while you get caught in the PanAm you know
Speaker 3: the five points you just mentioned now? And I think
Speaker 3: that idea and anyone can do that. You don't have
Speaker 3: to be well known to do that. You don't have
Speaker 3: to be successful to know that. I know you talk
Speaker 3: about the value of journaling, like that's what a journal is.
Speaker 3: It's a space where you carry around your heart, if
Speaker 3: you see it that way, right, You carry around your
Speaker 3: thoughts and you can re edit and you know, systemize
Speaker 3: your thoughts and make sense of them. And one of
Speaker 3: the things I've been hearing from a lot of people
Speaker 3: recently is this thought of like realizing they need to
Speaker 3: rewire their relationship with money.
Speaker 2: People have either been.
Speaker 3: Trained to believe that money is bad, money is evil,
Speaker 3: Money doesn't buy happiness, Money is the root of all evil.
Speaker 3: Money will make you lose friends. There's so many statements
Speaker 3: about money that have been programmed into our penom, whether
Speaker 3: it's our parents, whether it was media. As you said,
Speaker 3: you know all the others that have programmed us, And
Speaker 3: all of a sudden you get to a point in
Speaker 3: life where you realize, well, now I just have unhealthy
Speaker 3: beliefs about money. So whether I have it or I don't,
Speaker 3: I don't have a healthy relationship. How do you start
Speaker 3: rewiring that?
Speaker 1: If I could, before I answered that, you talked about
Speaker 1: something that I think is so important, the book you
Speaker 1: do with your class allience, and I think that speaks
Speaker 1: to something that is so essential in the world right now,
Speaker 1: which is solitude. I think genius loves isolation. I think
Speaker 1: we are so in the world right now, and there's
Speaker 1: so much noise we can't hear the signal. And so
Speaker 1: I think spending some time every day alone is so powerful,
Speaker 1: whether it is in a journal, whether it is on
Speaker 1: a nature walk, whether it is one of the chapters
Speaker 1: in the craft sections. Go ghost for a year, you
Speaker 1: take one year, go to Bali, go to Vietnam, go
Speaker 1: to Medae and go to Stockholm.
Speaker 2: Leave your phone.
Speaker 1: Take the classics, read them, study them, learn MVP, meditation, visualization,
Speaker 1: and prayer, take long walks and get lost, talk to strangers,
Speaker 1: find yourself, and after that year or six months or
Speaker 1: three months, come back to the world reconnected with who
Speaker 1: you truly are. So I think being alone and going
Speaker 1: ghost is important. So you talk about how do we
Speaker 1: rewire our relationship with money. I think the DNA of
Speaker 1: transformation is awareness. So it's the process a first fall
Speaker 1: realizing that money is something, but it's not everything. So
Speaker 1: our society says, measure your success by your not worth.
Speaker 1: In many ways, that's how society tells us to think.
Speaker 1: We pedestal the billionaire. We don't put the gardener or
Speaker 1: the teacher or the firefighter on the front cover of
Speaker 1: the magazine. So understanding that money is not everything and
Speaker 1: it won't be the source of yours. Like I've met,
Speaker 1: so many people have sold their companies. I think one
Speaker 1: person in particular, he said, we had a liquidity event.
Speaker 1: We were waiting for the funds to wire into the account.
Speaker 1: My whole family was sitting around the table. We watched
Speaker 1: the funds go into the account and it goes. I
Speaker 1: went into the account and I didn't feel any different.
Speaker 1: And it's that Zen proverb. Wherever you go, there you
Speaker 1: are so Realizing that trap number two, Realizing of course
Speaker 1: money is important, gets you better way to journey through
Speaker 1: life in some ways, less stress. You can do great
Speaker 1: things for your family, you can help people in need,
Speaker 1: you can get things.
Speaker 3: That you like.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with material objects, but not defining yourself
Speaker 1: by your art collection, not defining yourself by your gnat worth,
Speaker 1: because then that becomes just another drug of choice. So
Speaker 1: it's what I was saying earlier, which is making money.
Speaker 1: Prosperity is a wonderful thing. I mean, if you look
Speaker 1: at the universe, there's no scarcity. There's flowers everywhere, and
Speaker 1: there's clouds, and there's so much. The universe is abundant.
Speaker 1: So there's nothing wrong with abundant forms of money. I
Speaker 1: don't think we need to make it bad at all.
Speaker 1: But not using it and having it as our god
Speaker 1: to the point where actually we become so busy chasing
Speaker 1: money we forget about the other seven forms of well
Speaker 1: We forget about our family, forget about our wellness. What's
Speaker 1: the point. There's one wisdom tradition. They say when we
Speaker 1: are young, we would sacrifice our health for wealth, and
Speaker 1: when we get old and wise, we would sacrifice all
Speaker 1: of our wealth for one day of good health. So
Speaker 1: making money is not at all bad thing, but let's
Speaker 1: not sacrifice the other seven mountaintops that are important for
Speaker 1: a truly well lived life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, having a more expanse definition is so required because
Speaker 3: we're often also only measuring our success in life and
Speaker 3: happiness based on that one metric. I think that measurement
Speaker 3: piece is so interesting because I was saying to a
Speaker 3: friend a couple of years ago, he really slowed down
Speaker 3: from his work because he fell in love and he
Speaker 3: found love, and he's gone on to get engaged to
Speaker 3: the individual and at some point soon they'll get married.
Speaker 3: And he always felt that that year was such a
Speaker 3: wasted year in his life because he was looking at
Speaker 3: it through the lens of the business didn't progress, you know,
Speaker 3: my financial life didn't progress. And I've said to him
Speaker 3: so many times, I said, that was one of the
Speaker 3: best investments of your life because you found love, Like,
Speaker 3: you'll look back at that year as the best year
Speaker 3: of your life of all time. But if you're only
Speaker 3: measuring your success, and I was like, you have no
Speaker 3: idea how that stability is going to impact your career
Speaker 3: in the next few years. You could have been distracted
Speaker 3: looking for love for the next five years and your
Speaker 3: work would have been distracted.
Speaker 1: Here you are.
Speaker 3: You found love in one year, and now look, you'll
Speaker 3: have that stability. And it's so interesting what we measure
Speaker 3: makes such a difference. And I like that You're giving
Speaker 3: us eight things to measure as opposed to one thing.
Speaker 3: And then you start to realize how rich you truly are,
Speaker 3: because no eight are going to align every year anyway.
Speaker 1: These are eight priorities. Yeah, great life. And you talk
Speaker 1: about that love story. You know how rich, how wealthy
Speaker 1: are those are those two people. I even think about
Speaker 1: the times that we are dealing with heartbreak, you know,
Speaker 1: the times we are dealing with tragedy. The ego says,
Speaker 1: this is a waste of time. The ego says, I
Speaker 1: should be productive. What's more productive than navigating the hard
Speaker 1: times and using the painful moments to introduce us to
Speaker 1: our strengths, using the difficulty to make us wiser, to
Speaker 1: teach us forgiveness, to help us learn the great human
Speaker 1: virtues of patience and understanding. So I think it's our
Speaker 1: ego that tells us, oh, we're wasting time. If we're
Speaker 1: building love, we're wasting time. If we're healing, we're wasting time.
Speaker 1: If we're going through a hard season on our journey.
Speaker 1: But it's all christ for the mill, you know. I
Speaker 1: think the person who experiences the most wins and work
Speaker 1: is important. But let's not confuse productivity with busy, and
Speaker 1: let's not confuse movement with progress. And I think a
Speaker 1: great human life has many different seasons and many different elements,
Speaker 1: and maybe there's a time for each of them.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you talk about knowing your scarcity scars. This one
Speaker 3: really resonated with me because I think we don't realize
Speaker 3: what a scarcity mindset we've built up over time in
Speaker 3: all of these areas, I don't deserve love, I manifest
Speaker 3: bad health. I must be going to get sick. I'm
Speaker 3: going to ruin this and throw it all away, Like
Speaker 3: these are repetitive thoughts in people's minds in scarcity, in
Speaker 3: each of these areas that you break down as the
Speaker 3: eight priorities, Somewhere deep inside of ourselves we believe we
Speaker 3: don't deserve career success, love, success, wellness, success craft. I
Speaker 3: can never be good enough to do that. That's for
Speaker 3: special people. That's for the Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, that's
Speaker 3: not for me. Like those people mastered their craft. So
Speaker 3: these scarcity scars that exist, how do you even develop
Speaker 3: the idea that your scarcity scar doesn't have to be
Speaker 3: your reality forever.
Speaker 1: So there's an idea that I share called recruit a
Speaker 1: dead board of directors, And recruiting a dead board of
Speaker 1: directors is about the power of mentors. And all it
Speaker 1: takes is one conversation with an interesting person to revolutionize
Speaker 1: the way we see the world. And we talked about
Speaker 1: the pendem programming, the Five forces. In so many ways
Speaker 1: we adopt the When we're little kids, we have these
Speaker 1: social cues and we watch and listen to how our
Speaker 1: parentcy of the world. And that's what parents do. They
Speaker 1: teach us how the world works. And for a lot
Speaker 1: of parents, they teach a scarcity. Money doesn't grow on trees.
Speaker 1: I had one client his father repeat it over and
Speaker 1: over and over again. All rich people are liars, cheats
Speaker 1: and thieves. How many times do parents say, that's a
Speaker 1: great idea. You want to be in the NBA, or
Speaker 1: you want to be a painter, you want to be
Speaker 1: a best selling author. You want to be a billionaire?
Speaker 1: Be reasonable makes me think of George Bernard Shaw said,
Speaker 1: the reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable
Speaker 1: one persists in adapting the world to himself. Therefore, all
Speaker 1: progress depends on the unreasonable man. So what is recruiting
Speaker 1: a dead board of directors all about? Well, it's like,
Speaker 1: if you can't have a mentor who's a possibilitarian and
Speaker 1: who mentors you and teaches you how to do it,
Speaker 1: then find some dead people through their books that influence you.
Speaker 1: And so how do we heal these these scars? Well,
Speaker 1: we realized that genius is less about genetics and it's
Speaker 1: more about your daily habits. You know, if you look
Speaker 1: at the people we put on pedestals, the headye lamars,
Speaker 1: the great actors, the great athletes, Aristotle, on Nasis, Nelson Mandel,
Speaker 1: one of my greatest heroes in my life, and you
Speaker 1: read their biographies. These people are all cut from the
Speaker 1: same cloth as as we are. You know, the story
Speaker 1: of human greatness is all about people from ordinary circumstances,
Speaker 1: wiring in new habits, taking risks, getting knocked down so much,
Speaker 1: and being and being resilient. So I think having a
Speaker 1: dead boarder, I even think of Kobe. You know, you
Speaker 1: mentioned Kobe. So he actually said, you know, I got
Speaker 1: in the NBA, and I thought everyone would want to
Speaker 1: be best in the world and want to be iconic.
Speaker 1: And he said, I realized a lot of people got
Speaker 1: in the NBA and that was their badge of honor.
Speaker 1: They were good, and they just started partying and they
Speaker 1: might do one workout every day. And he said, I
Speaker 1: realized that if I got up at three o'clock every morning,
Speaker 1: practice from four to six, went home, had breakfast, et cetera,
Speaker 1: went back, did another workout eleven o'clock to noon, went home,
Speaker 1: had some lunch, recover, rested, did another workout, went home,
Speaker 1: had dinner, and did a fourth workout. To use his words,
Speaker 1: after a period of four or five years, I would
Speaker 1: develop an advantage so great that no one would ever
Speaker 1: catch up. So all I'm saying is people whose lives
Speaker 1: we want to be living, they're not cut from some
Speaker 1: magical cloth, you know, scarcity scars like the richest people
Speaker 1: I mentioned Aristotal on Nasis, he started with two hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty dollars. But they're just doing a series of
Speaker 1: practices and they're adopting different ways of seeing the world,
Speaker 1: and they're not playing victim and giving away their power
Speaker 1: to external things, insteadily through time to build the lives
Speaker 1: that we now admire.
Speaker 3: Well said I The reason why that resonates so strongly
Speaker 3: with me, I've often said, and I love your language
Speaker 3: around it. I've often said that I've been mentored by
Speaker 3: people I've never met because I had the fortune of
Speaker 3: reading Martin Luther King when I was young, reading Steve Jobs,
Speaker 3: you know, when Walter Isaacson wrote his brilliant book on
Speaker 3: Steve Jobs, reading Einstein. You know, it's just it's amazing
Speaker 3: that we're so obsessed with what people think of us
Speaker 3: as opposed to how people lived. And it's we think
Speaker 3: a mentor is about who can give me direct advice,
Speaker 3: and we're so interested in advice as opposed to you
Speaker 3: can actually study the action that that dead board of
Speaker 3: directors did in that scenario. How did they deal with stress?
Speaker 3: How did they deal with pressure? How do they deal
Speaker 3: with failure? How do they deal with success? Like?
Speaker 2: What did they do?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: It's so great to have a dead board of directors.
Speaker 3: I love that language because you can actually study the actions,
Speaker 3: not just the advice, and we often get so lost
Speaker 3: in advice that we miss out and realizing it's behavior change,
Speaker 3: it's action, it's habit change, as you're saying, that really
Speaker 3: makes the shifts in our life. And you mentioned this
Speaker 3: earlier I wanted to come back to. It was this
Speaker 3: three great friends rule, and I love that you talk
Speaker 3: about having three great friends. I heard recently somewhere I
Speaker 3: can't remember. I was browsing on social media and someone said,
Speaker 3: you need three am friends as well. Like friends, you
Speaker 3: can call at three am then they'll pick up the phone.
Speaker 3: How do you know what is the quality of a
Speaker 3: great long term friend? What is a great friend? I'm
Speaker 3: not sure we even know anymore.
Speaker 1: A great friend is someone you can be yourself with
Speaker 1: and they still love you. Great friend is I had
Speaker 1: a line in the book, you know you're in a
Speaker 1: foreign country. In three am, they hop on a plane
Speaker 1: and they come get you. A great friend is someone
Speaker 1: who you can laugh with. Great friend is someone who
Speaker 1: you're going through your most difficult times and they'll listen
Speaker 1: to you for hours. A great friend is, you know,
Speaker 1: someone who accepts you, someone who helps you be seen.
Speaker 1: A great friend is someone who when you're with them
Speaker 1: you feel joyful versus depleted. So I think it's really important,
Speaker 1: you know, in this world where we are maximalists want
Speaker 1: we want to be all things to all people. We
Speaker 1: want to have so many different friends, focus on three
Speaker 1: great friends. We want to read a hundred books, master
Speaker 1: three books. Maybe it's Jobs, is Isaacson's autobiography on Jobs
Speaker 1: like you mentioned. Maybe it's The Prophet by Khalil Uberan.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's The Giving Tree by Shell Silver Steme. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, one of my favorite books
Speaker 1: of all time. You know. But I think just being
Speaker 1: a minimalist is so powerful. Build your life around a
Speaker 1: few things. Even in work I mentioned it, rather than
Speaker 1: pushing at one thousand pieces of mediocrity, do one thing
Speaker 1: incredibly well, you know, even if it takes five years,
Speaker 1: ten years. There's a chapter called make your Project X
Speaker 1: in the Wealth Money Camp, and the example is the
Speaker 1: Duomo in Milan. How long they spent on it. In
Speaker 1: this world where we want to do something in an
Speaker 1: hour and they get the rewards or maybe a week,
Speaker 1: maybe a month, it took six hundred years to create
Speaker 1: the Domo. These are values of an unspoken age. Six
Speaker 1: hundred years of calibrating, refining, optimizing to create the Domo.
Speaker 1: And so that's what a project X is. Rather than
Speaker 1: doing lots of things, you do one thing. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: one work of art. Michelangelo took four years of working
Speaker 1: on the chapel of the Sistine ceiling, but he got
Speaker 1: the job done. So minimalism is very, very powerful in.
Speaker 3: One of the things you said that this idea of
Speaker 3: we're almost trying to be so many things to so
Speaker 3: many people that it's hard to find the right friends.
Speaker 3: One of the things you talk about is do not
Speaker 3: be a doormat. And I find that that becomes that
Speaker 3: people pleasing mentality, that ability I can mold and I
Speaker 3: can be whatever you want me to be, and I
Speaker 3: can be lots of things, and we feel validated that way.
Speaker 3: But in the end, we're just becoming a doormat. Everyone
Speaker 3: crosses over a doormat, and a doormat welcomes everyone in
Speaker 3: the same way. So when I read that, I was like,
Speaker 3: how do we be kind but not be a doormat?
Speaker 3: How do we be service oriented but not be a doormat?
Speaker 3: How do we balance that art of being welcoming but
Speaker 3: not being a doormat.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, for many years, like you j, I've
Speaker 1: talked about the power of just being being kind, you know,
Speaker 1: and it sounds so simple, But being kind staying in
Speaker 1: a hotel, remembering there's someone going to clean my room
Speaker 1: after I leave the room. So put the towels in
Speaker 1: the bathtub, straighten out the bed, leave the room service
Speaker 1: tray clean. Little acts of kindness not only are gifts
Speaker 1: you give to someone else, it's a gift you give
Speaker 1: to yourself. You respect yourself more so then people came
Speaker 1: sometimes say to me, well, if I'm kind, people will
Speaker 1: take advantage of me. And I would say people will
Speaker 1: only take advantage of you if you allow people to
Speaker 1: take advantage of you. Let's not confuse kindness with weakness.
Speaker 1: There is a time to always be kind, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you'll let people walk over you. And that
Speaker 1: makes me think of another idea that I write about,
Speaker 1: which is the importance of you know, in this world
Speaker 1: right now, it's so easy to live the same year
Speaker 1: eighty times and call it life. And there's one chapter
Speaker 1: called be a Perfect Moment Creator, And the story I
Speaker 1: tell him there is of Eugene Kelly. Oh Kelly, excuse
Speaker 1: me and Eugene O'Kelly used to be the former CEO
Speaker 1: of KPMG, the accounting behemoth, And one day he walked
Speaker 1: into his doctor's office to get the results of a
Speaker 1: routine medical and the doctor came out with an expression
Speaker 1: you never want to see on the face of your
Speaker 1: doctor when you go to get your results. And he
Speaker 1: was told he had ninety days left to live. He
Speaker 1: had an interoperable brain tumor. So confronted with his mortality,
Speaker 1: he realized for the first time he had never in
Speaker 1: all his years as a corporate titan, he had never
Speaker 1: taken his wife to lunch. He had missed so many
Speaker 1: Christmas concerts of his daughter. He had never spent time
Speaker 1: with his friends walking through Central Park and having conversations.
Speaker 1: And so he decided to re engineer his last ninety days,
Speaker 1: and he said, I want to become a perfect moment creator.
Speaker 1: And he spent those last ninety days. He actually died
Speaker 1: roughly ninety days after the report from his doctor. But
Speaker 1: I think that's so powerful. You know, when you're with
Speaker 1: your family, when you're with your work, when you're with yourself,
Speaker 1: each and every day, find some way to create a
Speaker 1: perfect moment. Maybe it's giving a gift to someone through
Speaker 1: a compliment. Maybe it's taking some time to do something
Speaker 1: that fills you with joy. But being a perfect moment creator,
Speaker 1: I think is a form of wealth money camp.
Speaker 3: Buy for sure, Robin, I have one last question for you,
Speaker 3: which I think is such an interesting challenge with so
Speaker 3: many people right now. Your rule is see another's winning
Speaker 3: as your victory. And I think we live in a
Speaker 3: world right now where seeing other people winning is we
Speaker 3: take it as a reflection of our losing. Right. We
Speaker 3: see others winning as a reflection of us being in
Speaker 3: We see someone winning as a feeling of we're behind.
Speaker 3: We see someone else winning as a feeling of there's
Speaker 3: not enough space, it's too consumed. It's there's too many
Speaker 3: podcasts in the world, there's too many books in the world,
Speaker 3: there's too many Instagram reels in the world, Like how
Speaker 3: can I do anything? Like if that person's winning, then
Speaker 3: they've taken my spot. We live in a world believing
Speaker 3: that there's a finite number of seats in the theater
Speaker 3: of happiness and in the theater of dreams, and that
Speaker 3: there isn't a seat with our name on it. Rather
Speaker 3: than seeing another's victory as our own. How do we
Speaker 3: train ourselves to do that?
Speaker 1: Well, this is such an absolutely important point, and you're right,
Speaker 1: a lot of us look on one of the social
Speaker 1: media feeds and we see someone and as we all know,
Speaker 1: a lot of that isn't real. So that's the first thing,
Speaker 1: we don't know the truth of how someone's really living.
Speaker 1: The second thing I would say is, you do want
Speaker 1: to train yourself to see someone's victory as an example
Speaker 1: of possibility, And you want to train yourself and how
Speaker 1: do you do it? MVP meditation, visualization and prayer. Prayer
Speaker 1: is very powerful, you know, or when you're writing, write
Speaker 1: about your insecurities, write about how you're feeling when you
Speaker 1: see someone else winning. You know, metabolize the feelings of
Speaker 1: inferiority by noticing them, by journaling about them, simply by
Speaker 1: sitting with them, processing through. That's how you move through,
Speaker 1: as you know so well, how do you move through
Speaker 1: a feeling of insecurity not enoughness? You acknowledge it and
Speaker 1: you don't give away your power, You don't make excuses,
Speaker 1: you don't throw rocks at those people. You go, what
Speaker 1: is it about their winning that is bringing up my
Speaker 1: in not enoughness? And you'll work through that not enoughness
Speaker 1: through journaling, through meditation, through prayer, through silence, through stillness,
Speaker 1: through nature walks. And so I think if we can
Speaker 1: train ourselves to say, wow, that person is doing so
Speaker 1: well and applaud them and feel good for them and
Speaker 1: say if they can do it, I can do it,
Speaker 1: I think we're going to be much more peaceful. I
Speaker 1: would also say about the podcast. Someone is going to
Speaker 1: launch a new podcast that is going to do incredibly well.
Speaker 1: Why not you? Someone is going to write that new
Speaker 1: best seller tomorrow that is going to dominate the list.
Speaker 1: Why not you? Someone is going to launch that new
Speaker 1: business that's going to change the world. Why not you?
Speaker 1: And then the last thing I'd say about is we
Speaker 1: all know, but this kind of a way of being
Speaker 1: where we see someone else's success as something that brings out,
Speaker 1: you know, like we have resentment for it. It's coming
Speaker 1: from a place of great scarcity and fear versus generosity.
Speaker 1: And if we are stuck in scarcity, then we're never
Speaker 1: going to bring our magic to the world we're operating.
Speaker 1: I mean, everything we do reflects who we are, and
Speaker 1: if we're in scarcity and we're really it's about jealousy,
Speaker 1: and if we're feeling jealous, it's someone else's victory and
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with them. We need to
Speaker 1: work through our feelings of jealousy until we get to
Speaker 1: our next level of consciousness and evolution. I think it's
Speaker 1: a great opportunity to see what other people's success bring
Speaker 1: up for us.
Speaker 3: Robin Sharma. Everyone in the book is called The Wealth
Speaker 3: Money Can't Buy. The Eight Hidden Habits to live your
Speaker 3: Richest life. Robin, I'm so grateful for your time, your
Speaker 3: energy for pouring into this book for us picking some
Speaker 3: of my favorites today. But like I said, there is
Speaker 3: so much in this book to unpack. Please tag me
Speaker 3: and Robin on Instagram, on x, on TikTok, on any
Speaker 3: platform you use on social media with your greatest insights
Speaker 3: the chapters that are speaking to you. Take pictures of
Speaker 3: the book and post them and tag us so that
Speaker 3: we can see which moments inside this book are resonating
Speaker 3: with you strongly and which ones you're trying to apply.
Speaker 3: And as Robin beautifully said, it's not about reading one
Speaker 3: hundred books this year, about three that you can master.
Speaker 3: If we can learn to master the Wealth Money Can't Buy,
Speaker 3: it will hold with such a deep and profound impact
Speaker 3: in our life that will value thirty years from now,
Speaker 3: fifty years from now. Robin, thank you so much again
Speaker 3: for your time, your energy, your presence. Always grateful to
Speaker 3: be with you, and I'm so grateful that you put
Speaker 3: this book together.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your time. Jay, keep changing
Speaker 1: the world, and really a joy to see you again.
Speaker 3: If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode
Speaker 3: with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how
Speaker 3: to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Speaker 1: My fears are only going to continue to show me
Speaker 1: what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
Speaker 1: the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
Speaker 1: and I just want to keep doing that