Speaker 1: Hell I Suck It Dating with Ungler Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: I heart radio podcast What is Up, Sucky Daters? Welcome
Speaker 1: back to a brand new episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating. I'm being unglerts joined all the way across
Speaker 1: the country with Jared Haven and of course Tory in
Speaker 1: some in descript bath bedroom and some I don't know, yes,
Speaker 1: but I don't know where exactly in the country. She
Speaker 1: is probably California. But Jared, how are you? I'm dandy.
Speaker 1: I'm doing well, just one day at a time. That's
Speaker 1: the only thing we can do during this freaking thing.
Speaker 1: But everybody's doing you know, staying safe. Everybody's doing well.
Speaker 1: We're all healthy. That's all we can ask for. Ashley
Speaker 1: and I find are are like fighting over smaller things
Speaker 1: now more often. But I'm pretty sure that's got to
Speaker 1: be normal for every couple. Give us, give us an
Speaker 1: example of what you guys are fighting over. Um, it's
Speaker 1: not like big fights. It's just more of like annoyances.
Speaker 1: For example, we were trying to find something too. We
Speaker 1: were trying to watch a movie the other night and
Speaker 1: I I suggested Mission Impossible too because she hasn't seen it.
Speaker 1: And then she's like, no, I don't want to watch that.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, that's fair, that would be my pick.
Speaker 1: And then she wanted to watch I don't remember what
Speaker 1: it was, but it was it was a rom com
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't feel like watching, you know,
Speaker 1: a romance movie. And then we were trying to pick
Speaker 1: a movie in the middle, and I suggested something like
Speaker 1: a like a good drama, and she's like, we never
Speaker 1: watched movies I want to watch and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I feel like I know. I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: like we're watching movies that we both enjoyed, Like we
Speaker 1: just watched Molly's Game and we just watched I figured
Speaker 1: out what else. But and then she goes She's like,
Speaker 1: she's like, I just feel like you're being selfish, and
Speaker 1: I was like, selfish, we're picking an equal movie, Like
Speaker 1: I suggested an action movie, you suggested a romance movie.
Speaker 1: We're meeting in the middle here, and question is why
Speaker 1: wouldn't you just be on board with whatever movie she
Speaker 1: picks in just like be on your phone the whole time. Well,
Speaker 1: that would be a dick move. See, I think it
Speaker 1: would be worse because there's nothing that bothers me more
Speaker 1: than if there's a movie I want to show someone
Speaker 1: and then they're on the phone. For example, I showed
Speaker 1: Ashley The Dark Knight like two years ago because she
Speaker 1: was like, I don't get it. I saw it once
Speaker 1: and I was like, you're gonna get this freaking movie.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it. So
Speaker 1: we watched it twenty minutes and then she was on
Speaker 1: her phone and I was like, actually, I'm gonna lose
Speaker 1: it because I really need you to just focus, pay attention,
Speaker 1: to appreciate, and really put effort into thinking you might
Speaker 1: like this, and if you don't like it, hey, we'll
Speaker 1: go our separate rays and figure things out later. But
Speaker 1: at least put the effort in. Now. That's a good point,
Speaker 1: I guess. I guess I didn't think of that. I
Speaker 1: just had thought because the she picked the movie that
Speaker 1: you had already seen and like definitely maybe or something
Speaker 1: like that. No, no, no, no, no no no. It was
Speaker 1: a movie that she has seen and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I could I could watch this And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of not in the mood for a romance
Speaker 1: right now, and so I thought I wasn't being that selfish,
Speaker 1: because you know, I suggested an action movie and then
Speaker 1: she was like, hey, let's watch a romance movie. And
Speaker 1: I was like, right, neither one is gonna win on
Speaker 1: that one, so let's go in the middle and watch
Speaker 1: a movie we can both enjoy it. Do you find
Speaker 1: it helpful to have Ashley's parents there with you kind
Speaker 1: of as like an intermediary? Um? No, I mean, like
Speaker 1: I said, the good thing about Ashley and eyes even
Speaker 1: when we fight, it's it's really it is far and
Speaker 1: few between. And uh because we just, like I've always said,
Speaker 1: our friendship is so good that we really know how
Speaker 1: to handle each other. But her parents being here, I
Speaker 1: don't know, that's a good question. And if there, I
Speaker 1: would say it's probably worse for um. Uh, Like I
Speaker 1: don't want to say worse for our relationship, but worse
Speaker 1: for when we're fighting, because then it makes me feel
Speaker 1: super awkward because her parents can hear, and then she
Speaker 1: uses them as more of a crutch instead of just
Speaker 1: hashing it out with me. Uh. But yeah, they like
Speaker 1: team up on you the I connects versus versus Jared.
Speaker 1: It sounds like, well, right now, there's four against one.
Speaker 1: So um sl if that's gonna happen. I got Lois
Speaker 1: on my side, that's about it, And even her, she's yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like you're gonna win too many arguments
Speaker 1: over there. Well. Hey, on the bright side, it seems
Speaker 1: like things are slowly starting to go back to normal,
Speaker 1: at least getting closer to Yeah, yeah, I mean it is.
Speaker 1: It's still a little nerve racking scary because I just
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going to happen when the restrictions left, Like,
Speaker 1: for example, are you how comfortable are you going back
Speaker 1: into public and going back into the crowded areas well,
Speaker 1: I'm not quite as much about hypochondriac as you are,
Speaker 1: So I honestly not gonna have any issue. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be going to bars or like I guess it
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't really be going to shopping centers either. But
Speaker 1: I won't have an issue going to the beach, going
Speaker 1: hiking out in the you know, the parks and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. But I can see like if if but
Speaker 1: you guys don't really go to that many bars either,
Speaker 1: Like if people were like great like partying all the
Speaker 1: time before the quarantine, I can see them being like, oh,
Speaker 1: like things are never gonna be the same again. But
Speaker 1: I feel like for the most part, I guess there
Speaker 1: probably won't be like as many movie from premiers for
Speaker 1: you and actually to attend um and like those types
Speaker 1: of events probably will be a little bit fewer and
Speaker 1: farther between. Yeah, I've just been going to the movies,
Speaker 1: going out to dinner, like, I mean, granted, it's just
Speaker 1: gonna change restaurants with Paul would be halful even like dude, flying,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, Ashley and I we were lucky
Speaker 1: that a lot of the things we had to do
Speaker 1: we we traveled for. And that's kind of I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like being on a plane for six hours,
Speaker 1: you know, I know, I know they say it's pretty
Speaker 1: safe with the fresh air and as long as you're
Speaker 1: wearing a mask. But still I'm not worried about flying.
Speaker 1: The only bummer for for me that strands flying specifically
Speaker 1: is that so many airlines are cutting their their airplane
Speaker 1: uh what's the word of looking for like availability, So
Speaker 1: they're gonna flights are essentially gonna get more expensive over time,
Speaker 1: which seems like a bummer too. But I'm not really
Speaker 1: terribly worried about the germs per se. I don't know
Speaker 1: it's gonna be. I have a question for you, Uh one,
Speaker 1: have you always had an earring? Because I'm looking at
Speaker 1: you and you have an earring now and too. How
Speaker 1: does Caylen feel about it? I've always had my ears pierced. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had both ears pierced. I have two pierce things
Speaker 1: into my left ear, but I only have one hearing
Speaker 1: and now. Uh, she's supportive of the of the I
Speaker 1: got a dangly like little bar gold earring in there
Speaker 1: right now. You know, it's just nice to spice it
Speaker 1: up a little bit and keep it fresh. Mix it
Speaker 1: up might as well. We've got nothing better to do
Speaker 1: in this quarantine. Are you wearing earrings in both ears?
Speaker 1: Are just the left? Um? I haven't worn earrings in
Speaker 1: both years since I was probably in college, but as
Speaker 1: recently as like last year, maybe a year or two ago,
Speaker 1: I had two piercings in my left lobe. Uh. So
Speaker 1: I had like two little mini hugger hoops uh in
Speaker 1: my left ear, which I really appreciate that look, but
Speaker 1: I think one of them closed up. Uh. And so
Speaker 1: I only have one hole in my left ear now.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like I said, you know, I just like
Speaker 1: to keep it fresh, keep it interesting. That's kind of
Speaker 1: why I played around the facial hair a little bit.
Speaker 1: I've got a nice little bun going on today too,
Speaker 1: because it's hot here in l A. But it keeps
Speaker 1: the look fresh too. You have the mustache, you have
Speaker 1: an earring, and you're wearing a headband and you have
Speaker 1: your hair in a bun. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I
Speaker 1: look in the mirror, I don't even know who I am,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of exciting for me. Even too, I'm like, whoa,
Speaker 1: who is this guy? You're hideous. But it's cool to, like,
Speaker 1: you know, have someone around the house. I guess. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like groundhog Day. So at least, yeah, you get
Speaker 1: to change your personality every day. Tori, how do you
Speaker 1: feel about guys with earrings? Oh? Great question, that's on
Speaker 1: fall of them. Sounds like she um doesn't want to
Speaker 1: answer honestly because she knows it's gonna hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: I think that's done right. It can be attractive, but
Speaker 1: I'm I have a hard time with the dangle. But
Speaker 1: then I'm also like, I don't want Nicholas Shade Studs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do remember a couple I think back in jan No,
Speaker 1: in January February, I came to the studio to recording
Speaker 1: episode must of the January and I had the dangle
Speaker 1: earring and the dog and the cutches, and Tori was
Speaker 1: very critical of my dangle. I feel like Tory would
Speaker 1: be critical of you no matter what you do, because
Speaker 1: that's what she just likes, ridiculing you. It's not critique,
Speaker 1: it's that I know his potentials. Let's motivate. You know,
Speaker 1: where do you think, Tory, where do you think Dean
Speaker 1: has reached his most potential? Like, at what point throughout
Speaker 1: your friendship did you you think Dean is at his
Speaker 1: peak right now? Right now? I think every day, and
Speaker 1: it's a new it's a new peak for me. I
Speaker 1: think it was right before the leg injury. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: were like going out, you were happy, you were in nature,
Speaker 1: Calin was tagging along, you had your dog, like everything
Speaker 1: was like great. And then I think that kind of
Speaker 1: didn't like hinder your peak. But you were just like
Speaker 1: definitely peaking then for sure. And then I broke my
Speaker 1: leg in my life got ruined basically. Yeah, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would I would agree with that. Um, we also
Speaker 1: are fostering a dog as of an hour ago today,
Speaker 1: so we have a little sister for Pappy. So that's
Speaker 1: kind of exciting for us. What's the name? I think
Speaker 1: it's im Sorry, you think it's some weird, uh foreign
Speaker 1: name I'm not familiar with. I call her Frolio. But
Speaker 1: you just pete on the carpet in this in this
Speaker 1: room I'm broadcasting from so Star. She just turned to
Speaker 1: and she just had a litter of puppies and so
Speaker 1: she's got some nice, uh curvaceous teets, if you will.
Speaker 1: But we thought my thought process behind it was since uh,
Speaker 1: since Patty has been so down and out lately with
Speaker 1: his like oar threat is and his teeth, I wanted
Speaker 1: to have like a nice, sexy young female walking around
Speaker 1: the house to maybe like breathe a little bit of
Speaker 1: spark into him, Yeah, make him young again. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: uh you yet to see it, but he's been fighting
Speaker 1: for our attention ever since, which is like kind of
Speaker 1: nice to see him, you know, get a little bit
Speaker 1: more motivated for some pets. Is there potential that you'll
Speaker 1: keep throw young? Absolutely not. Oh please, I feel like
Speaker 1: you said the same thing about Pappy. I know I
Speaker 1: did say the same thing about Happy, but Pappy was
Speaker 1: an exception. He's just an amazing dog and as great
Speaker 1: as Throw You seems to be, Pappy needed us a
Speaker 1: lot more than I think Throw You will, so uh,
Speaker 1: you know, she's a little bit younger. She's got some
Speaker 1: spunk and some cuteness too, and Peppy's cute. But he
Speaker 1: was like so old that if we didn't adopt him,
Speaker 1: he probably would have died in the shelter or something,
Speaker 1: you know, which is a little bit of a different,
Speaker 1: different circumstance. Yeah, it's interesting. And Tory said your peak
Speaker 1: was right before you broke your leg, because I feel
Speaker 1: like since that incident happened, you and Klin have become
Speaker 1: a lot stronger, even though you guys were strong relationship beforehand,
Speaker 1: just from her going there and taking care of you,
Speaker 1: and now you guys are obviously in quarantine together. I
Speaker 1: guess I would say that I would disassociate my peak
Speaker 1: with my relationship, though, you know, like my personal peak
Speaker 1: is different than the strength of my relationship. I feel
Speaker 1: like Ashley would kill me if I said that I
Speaker 1: was I was at my peak before we got together.
Speaker 1: I think they're just two separate mountains with two different peaks.
Speaker 1: You can peek on your own on this mountain over here,
Speaker 1: and then the relationship peak is over here, and then
Speaker 1: actually got her on mountain that she's on by herself
Speaker 1: over there. They're all you know, it's all uh evan
Speaker 1: and flowing together. That's how I look at Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: try to explain that to her and just let me
Speaker 1: know how it goes. Hopefully it'll be around next week.
Speaker 1: To your point earlier about like getting in small petty arguments,
Speaker 1: I mean, we definitely do the same thing, even just
Speaker 1: just yesterday. I can't remember what we were arguing about,
Speaker 1: but of something so so so silly, and it's just like,
Speaker 1: what is it? Is it just that the fact that
Speaker 1: we're spending too much time around each other is that
Speaker 1: we're all cooped up in this little apartment. We can't
Speaker 1: do the things that we want to do. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just I feel myself being more irritable. I like
Speaker 1: see myself getting annoyed at things, and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: what are you getting annoyed at that? For? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So hopefully, hopefully this is all just
Speaker 1: a means to an end. I think it will be.
Speaker 1: And I know it's interesting because today, like this time,
Speaker 1: is supposed to be a time full of perspective. You know,
Speaker 1: as long as we're healthy and doing well and we
Speaker 1: have a roof over our head and food, that we
Speaker 1: should be doing all right. But I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I found myself more irritable as well, and I take
Speaker 1: it out on Ashley sometimes and she does the same
Speaker 1: with me. But you know, that's just a relationship. And
Speaker 1: that's why you know, you put a ring on it,
Speaker 1: because even in times where you guys fight, you realize
Speaker 1: that you know, the sun will rise again and you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna be fine. You still love each other
Speaker 1: and everything is gonna be a okay, just like this podcast.
Speaker 1: It's this podcast is going to be a plus. You
Speaker 1: want to know why, Dean, because our peak, yours and
Speaker 1: mys peak, our relationship peak is still ahead of us. Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say it's Tories peak, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that too. Hey, I've got a question for you
Speaker 1: in your relationship. I'm sorry to sidebar here, but I
Speaker 1: do remember the talk of children coming up a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago. Has that been discussed between you and
Speaker 1: actually all lately, um no, I mean nothing's changed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we discuss it. We still wanna maybe try started having
Speaker 1: kids later this year. It's it's it's scary, man, It's
Speaker 1: just it's it's it's nerve racking about you know, uh,
Speaker 1: the idea of bringing a human in and then you
Speaker 1: know that human being is your responsibility and your responsibility
Speaker 1: only and don't f up because if you do, there
Speaker 1: will be some serious consequences. It's scary also wonderful. Um Like,
Speaker 1: I think about my parents, you know, and her parents
Speaker 1: and giving them a grandchild, and that makes me very happy.
Speaker 1: Well for what it's worth. And I'm sure you've heard
Speaker 1: this before. I think you make your fantastic father. Well
Speaker 1: thank you, Tina, I hope so. I appreciate that. And
Speaker 1: on my side of things, I can't wait to be
Speaker 1: a godfather. Like that's gonna be a great feeling. Uh
Speaker 1: you all we all know Nick is gonna just guilt
Speaker 1: me into making him the god I'll take. I'll take
Speaker 1: the title. That's fun uncle, even though I'm obviously not
Speaker 1: blood related. But um I, I have you talked about
Speaker 1: to Klin about the future at all? I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: we talked about it. We don't really know what it holds.
Speaker 1: But we're we're coming up on our one year anniversary.
Speaker 1: I think in about like a month and a half
Speaker 1: will be at I'm sorry, Yeah, and a month and
Speaker 1: a half will be at our year anniversary. Like we're
Speaker 1: coming up on eleven months. For me, is a feat
Speaker 1: in and of itself. That's a long relationship for it.
Speaker 1: For me, that's the peak of year right there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not quite the peak, but it's close to the
Speaker 1: longest relationship I've ever been in. Uh, we talk about
Speaker 1: things we don't really it's so in so much uncertainty,
Speaker 1: like you said, Uh, but we're happy with where we
Speaker 1: are as a couple now and we're not in any
Speaker 1: rush to change anything, and we're just taking it one
Speaker 1: day at a time. But you know, it's constant communication
Speaker 1: about that step to that way. There's no h blind sides.
Speaker 1: I guess if you will, do you want to be
Speaker 1: a father? Does she want to be a mom? Ah,
Speaker 1: that's a good question. I don't know. I don't really
Speaker 1: know how to answer that. I think that we both
Speaker 1: want to be parents, but we don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: If we're ready for it. Obviously we're not ready for
Speaker 1: it at the moment. Otherwise we would make an effort
Speaker 1: to be Uh. I personally don't. Although I've wanted to
Speaker 1: have kids my entire life. The older I get, seemingly
Speaker 1: the less I want to have children for whatever reason. Uh.
Speaker 1: And so that that could change, if you know, I
Speaker 1: wake up one day and decide otherwise. But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, it's just I would have thought
Speaker 1: if you asked, like fifteen year old Dean, how many
Speaker 1: kids I would have when I was twenty nine, I
Speaker 1: would probably say, you know, I've got like a family
Speaker 1: of three, three little kids running around. I think all
Speaker 1: of us at that age are probably pretty optimistic. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have a lot of children. Then. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the little older I get, the more and more I
Speaker 1: start to think about how I I could see a
Speaker 1: life without children, but I could also see life with children.
Speaker 1: But the look the weird thing I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: rambling here. The weird thing about I guess maybe the
Speaker 1: fortunate thing about my scenario situation is I've got an
Speaker 1: older brother who's nine years older than I am. So
Speaker 1: he's thirty eight, Well, he's thirty seventy thirty eight this year,
Speaker 1: he's getting married, doesn't have any kids, but he still
Speaker 1: could have kids. Like I could always look at myself
Speaker 1: essentially nine years into the future and be like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I've got nine years to essentially reach the same standard
Speaker 1: that my brother has reached. You know, your biological clock
Speaker 1: isn't ticking, not even that. It's just like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's kind of maintained this uh this, what's you know,
Speaker 1: Peter pan like childlike vigor that you know, we all
Speaker 1: have his kids and he's like super playful. And I
Speaker 1: always look at him and I like, okay, cool. If
Speaker 1: he can be that way at that age, then I
Speaker 1: know that I can at least be that at that
Speaker 1: age as well, which gives me nine years to like,
Speaker 1: you know, continue to figure out exactly what I want. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I look at my parents and I'm
Speaker 1: just very grateful, Like I I think about what I'd
Speaker 1: be able to love my kid as much as my
Speaker 1: parents have loved me, and and sacrifice as much as
Speaker 1: they sacrifice. You know what all parents do where they
Speaker 1: just you know, their their life is now all about
Speaker 1: you and that's uh, that's the ultimate sacrifice. So well,
Speaker 1: especially for us, for us too. There was a guy
Speaker 1: that I met when I was getting my stoopl license
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago who was, like, he was
Speaker 1: a really young father. I think he had his first
Speaker 1: kid when he was like nineteen or something like that. Uh,
Speaker 1: And at the time, I was twenty seven, and he
Speaker 1: was I did it right, Like, you're you should have
Speaker 1: kids really really young, because now I'm turning forty five
Speaker 1: and my kids are already grown up and they're out
Speaker 1: of the house, and I've got like a second life
Speaker 1: again with my wife, and you know, I've got my
Speaker 1: friends and my kids who are my friends now. So
Speaker 1: there's kind of like two sides of the story where
Speaker 1: it's like you could have kids really young and then
Speaker 1: be a young parent and then be young when they
Speaker 1: go off to college and start throw own lives. Or
Speaker 1: you could spend your youth, you know, deciding if you
Speaker 1: want to have children, and then you know, when you're
Speaker 1: in Nash's case, have children your early thirties and then
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just there's so many right ways
Speaker 1: to do it, you know. Yeah, you know, I agree.
Speaker 1: It's so weird sometimes how I hear people describe being
Speaker 1: a parent though, because like you said, he talked about like,
Speaker 1: oh I got it, like I got it over with
Speaker 1: kind of thing, like I was able to raise them
Speaker 1: my kids, and I love them and now I have
Speaker 1: a whole new life, and it's like, well not to
Speaker 1: be addict. Do you regret giving up that aspect of
Speaker 1: your life because now you see that you have it back?
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then they're like, I wouldn't change
Speaker 1: a thing because I love my kids more than anything.
Speaker 1: And you only realize how much you love them when
Speaker 1: you finally, like have children. I don't know. It's interesting,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Anyway, we have a great guest
Speaker 1: on the podcast. We should have to break some sponsors
Speaker 1: because we've been rambling for a little while, but we
Speaker 1: have Ed brown On also known as Big D from
Speaker 1: ninety Fiance Before the ninety Days um which we were
Speaker 1: very excited to talk to him, So we're going to
Speaker 1: hear from him right after the short break Welcome back
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating. We have a very
Speaker 1: special st on the air right now. You know him
Speaker 1: from Fiance Before the ninety Days, which is airing Sundays
Speaker 1: on t l C at eight p m. It is
Speaker 1: Ed Brown, also known as Big Ed Big Head. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. Thanks man, peace out awesome?
Speaker 1: Are you doing glad to be here? So you're down
Speaker 1: in San Diego quarantine and how's everything going well? So, I, um,
Speaker 1: it's going pretty good. It's like, um, it's like a
Speaker 1: ghost town. I work in little Italy about fifteen minutes away,
Speaker 1: so we keep our door locked. So we're considered a
Speaker 1: what do you call it? Um? Um? What do they
Speaker 1: call him? Not necessity but essential? Essential? There you go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I do intore design during the day. I do
Speaker 1: these huge design projects and I have contractors and and
Speaker 1: people I gotta order product through. So um. But it's
Speaker 1: weird because I'm next to the oldest bar in city.
Speaker 1: It's called the Waterfront. They've been they have liquor license
Speaker 1: number one and for I've been at this show room
Speaker 1: for four years and people would be seven m would
Speaker 1: be drinking champagne right and now it's closed. It's just weird.
Speaker 1: It's crazy times. We're living in my friend, well, I
Speaker 1: mean crazy times for you specifically. How's everything going with
Speaker 1: all of the you know, fanfare, You're getting all the attention?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's it's kind of crazy. Um Like I
Speaker 1: didn't realize. When I first started the film with TLC,
Speaker 1: one of the producers, we were looking for what they
Speaker 1: call my hero shot, which just kind of that that
Speaker 1: still shot they show you, and we're walking around Biboa
Speaker 1: Park and um, Harry's I'm like, Harry Man, they're filming
Speaker 1: me with drones on my vest. But everybody in seeing
Speaker 1: Diego's gonna know who I am. And He's like, everybody
Speaker 1: in the world is gonna know who you are and
Speaker 1: everything that they they told me, Um that I didn't
Speaker 1: expect what happened has happened. So it's it's insane. I
Speaker 1: have I can't tell you. I'm like over, I'm just
Speaker 1: my I g alone. I have over thirty eight million
Speaker 1: impressions and I don't even know what that means. I
Speaker 1: was want to find on Instagram. I had trouble finding you.
Speaker 1: How do I find on Instagram? Oh this is a
Speaker 1: big d just big head. Okay, no, no, this is
Speaker 1: big and then look from my my fat head sticker.
Speaker 1: Oh it's all right, Teddy can be annoyed. I understand.
Speaker 1: I have a very annoying voice. Um so, and you
Speaker 1: obviously got on ninety day fiance, you were talking to
Speaker 1: Rose Um. Yes, well, the show is still airing, so
Speaker 1: you're you're still talking to Rose. But from my understanding,
Speaker 1: you started talking to Rose on social media, added her
Speaker 1: as a friend on Facebook, and then three months later
Speaker 1: you bought a ticket to go see her, which is
Speaker 1: later on the time that you got on fiance. That's correct,
Speaker 1: That's that's how it wouldn't happen. I've never heard of
Speaker 1: the show or the franchise before my daughter had and
Speaker 1: my ex wife. That's why my daughter kind of freaked
Speaker 1: out when I told her that I was thinking about
Speaker 1: being on the show. So I bought a ticket. I
Speaker 1: posted it on Facebook and all my friends and my
Speaker 1: buddy rich Um that actually sent me the link. I
Speaker 1: filled it out. You know, fifty four year old in
Speaker 1: love with a twenty three year old with a twenty
Speaker 1: nine year old daughter, and he already bought a ticket.
Speaker 1: I mean I was. They texted me within two hours
Speaker 1: and I was on the phone with them at seven
Speaker 1: thirty the next day. They took a look at my
Speaker 1: my social media because I've always been a nut like
Speaker 1: this thing with the stickers and the costumes that you see.
Speaker 1: I've that's been my life for you know, twenty one years.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and it's been, um and then here we are,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you guys. This is insane, insane, but
Speaker 1: it's been. It's been a great journey for you so far.
Speaker 1: It seems like you're enjoying it. Yeah, it really has.
Speaker 1: It really has in in a in a couple of ways. UM.
Speaker 1: The biggest surprise, UM I was I have a condition
Speaker 1: called k F, which is clippal file. So instead of
Speaker 1: having seven sort of convertebrates, I have three that are
Speaker 1: the size of two. So I have been a shorter neck,
Speaker 1: bigger rib cage, so I have limited movement. I just
Speaker 1: looked weird. I look different. So I've been teased all
Speaker 1: my life. And when UM teasers came out in January,
Speaker 1: I mean it was like what they like, no neck
Speaker 1: ed and YadA, YadA, YadA. So all of those bad
Speaker 1: feelings I had grown up, you know, as a child,
Speaker 1: came back to kind of on me. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my daughter is right. I should not
Speaker 1: have done this. So I kind of kind of crawled
Speaker 1: into a hole. You know. My publicist is like, you know,
Speaker 1: don't don't read anything online. It's just gonna, you know,
Speaker 1: piss you off. And so I didn't, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, people started to um defend me and
Speaker 1: you know, saying, look how authentic is and you know,
Speaker 1: he you know it stopped bullying him. And then I
Speaker 1: started to get letters like from from from Abe on
Speaker 1: the East Coast and from I think Michelle, South Africa, UM, England, Canada. Hey,
Speaker 1: I think I had your condition, you know, and you
Speaker 1: know we looked the same. They would send me pictures
Speaker 1: of them and they're like, look, dude, I can't even
Speaker 1: breathe some days because I'm tea so much. And I
Speaker 1: see you on National TV rubbing mayonnaise in your hair.
Speaker 1: How do you do it? So I just started a conversation.
Speaker 1: I read their letter online. I started kind us some dialogue.
Speaker 1: And then what what I didn't expect is people are
Speaker 1: creating these little um like platforms called big d stands
Speaker 1: against bully and so I didn't expect that to um
Speaker 1: really be a result of me, you know, pretty much
Speaker 1: pretty my life out there. So that that part of
Speaker 1: it feels really really good. I'm still getting that hates.
Speaker 1: You know, you just gotta who just hate on everybody
Speaker 1: and anything, they possibly can. That's all they do. My
Speaker 1: last my last comment was I hope big Ed gets
Speaker 1: COVID and and I just so I made a video
Speaker 1: about that. I'm like, you know, they're they're serious, but
Speaker 1: they're not serious. But they I mean, they're they're kidding
Speaker 1: but they're serious, but they're not you know, they're not serious.
Speaker 1: So you two big d roles. And I learned this
Speaker 1: a long time ago. You know, you have to learn
Speaker 1: to love yourself. Okay, you have to, and you have
Speaker 1: to be able to laugh at yourself. And that is
Speaker 1: what has gotten me through my life. And so well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, I'm sure it's got to be an incredible
Speaker 1: feeling to be because at this point, I would imagine
Speaker 1: are kind of like the face for KFS in a
Speaker 1: sense too. And you're saying other people are reaching out
Speaker 1: to you saying that they they have a similar condition,
Speaker 1: and so it's gonna be amazing to be the one
Speaker 1: that's like, like, everything's gonna be fine, You're you're not
Speaker 1: alone in this plight essentially exactly exactly so, and then
Speaker 1: I stream every night just you know, and I actually
Speaker 1: talked to my fans like I actually have a conversation
Speaker 1: with them if they I go through my you know,
Speaker 1: I have about five thousand messages um in my deep
Speaker 1: nick home d MS, and you know I'll get a
Speaker 1: lot of I'll get people with like blue check marks
Speaker 1: I want to talk to me and promote me. I'm like, uh,
Speaker 1: I go right past them. Unless it's Tori Spelling. By
Speaker 1: the way, I'm gonna be cooking line with her in
Speaker 1: about an hour. You're almost Wow, you took time out
Speaker 1: of Tori Spelling to take time with us. Hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't have a choice. No, No, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I know. I'm like absolutely, I mean, I'm I I
Speaker 1: love it. And no, I mean and my my publicists
Speaker 1: totally talk to you guys up. So I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: in but no, but I love doing this. I love
Speaker 1: telling my story. I love because you know what it
Speaker 1: is is that it's it's not an act, like this
Speaker 1: is real and and I got like hose for you know,
Speaker 1: you're you know, you just went on the show to
Speaker 1: be famous and to make yourself look good. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, wait a minute, what tell me one
Speaker 1: thing I did on the TV show that made myself
Speaker 1: look good? Tell me one thing. One thing. I actually
Speaker 1: think you're sweet and authentic and very genuine and you
Speaker 1: seem like a really good dude. Uh, And I'm glad
Speaker 1: to have you on the podcast. Now let's talk. Let's
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about some of the things that
Speaker 1: you did in the show with Rose. Rose is the
Speaker 1: girl that you went to the Philippines for that you've
Speaker 1: had this long distance relationship with where obviously the ninety
Speaker 1: day fiance thing comes in. Um. And so we saw
Speaker 1: you and Rose met at the airport for the first
Speaker 1: time after talking. So how long did you talk on
Speaker 1: social media before you actually got to meet Rose? So
Speaker 1: it was honor about three months. Four times a day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would, I mean, don't tell my boss, but at
Speaker 1: work normally because her three o'clock, three o'clock as her
Speaker 1: her five am, which is when she gets up, so
Speaker 1: and then she would get Prince ready for school. So
Speaker 1: I would watch her walk Prince to to to his
Speaker 1: school and then watch her have lunch with her friends,
Speaker 1: and then and then I would talk to her kind
Speaker 1: of before I went to bed, which was usually around
Speaker 1: but yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was
Speaker 1: the best. It was the best thing about my day.
Speaker 1: I couldn't wait to talk to her in the morning,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't wait to talk to her before I
Speaker 1: went to bed. And so what made you think that
Speaker 1: Rose was could potentially be the one? What was about
Speaker 1: that connection? Because I think a lot of people are interested, like,
Speaker 1: how does someone know their in love with someone just
Speaker 1: by talking to them either over the phone, over the
Speaker 1: computer without meeting in real life yet Yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: so you know what, I got married really young and
Speaker 1: got divorce. We all make mistakes, and I by the
Speaker 1: time my my daughter was kind of ready, you know,
Speaker 1: to to go into to college. I'm like, I woke
Speaker 1: up and I'm like, oh my god, I'm forty four.
Speaker 1: It's too late. I kind of and I tried all
Speaker 1: the dating websites and I just had no success. I'm
Speaker 1: not good at bars. I mean, I'm great. My stick
Speaker 1: is I'm funny, like that's my formula, but I use
Speaker 1: my winning, winning formula when somebody tries to get close
Speaker 1: to me. Actually used that to kind of push him away.
Speaker 1: But with Rose, she was safe. She's in another country.
Speaker 1: She's like seven thousand miles away. There's no way that
Speaker 1: I was ever gonna meet her. That's how it started so,
Speaker 1: but then but then I started talking to her every
Speaker 1: day and like, oh my god, this is a real person.
Speaker 1: And then you start, you know, developing feelings. And and
Speaker 1: I told her day one, I'm like, look, I'm old enough.
Speaker 1: I'm old enough to be your dad. Okay, you understand that?
Speaker 1: Like are you sure? And She's like, ages just the
Speaker 1: number and we kind of never I just never really
Speaker 1: thought of her as you know, being twenty three. She
Speaker 1: is a single mom of a of a four year
Speaker 1: old boy named Prince, and I thought she had the
Speaker 1: maturity level and she's certainly captured my heart. One of
Speaker 1: the last things we saw on the show was and
Speaker 1: you and Rose had your fight because she said that
Speaker 1: she wanted kids and was honest about that up front,
Speaker 1: and then you said that you didn't want kids. Um, well,
Speaker 1: and then you had appointments for a vasectomy. So my
Speaker 1: question is, without spoiling anything because it's still airing, Um,
Speaker 1: was Rose upfront about wanting kids pretty early on? And
Speaker 1: were you just afraid to tell her that you didn't
Speaker 1: want kids or was this something that you just found out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a little bit of both. We had talked one time.
Speaker 1: She goes one day, I want a girl. We did.
Speaker 1: We made that very clear one girl, and I kind
Speaker 1: of didn't really answer it, but I knew that's what
Speaker 1: she wanted. But then when I'm getting ready to go
Speaker 1: down there, and I mean, I'm not a rich guy
Speaker 1: live in San Diego, you know, I'm I do pretty good,
Speaker 1: but like to raise a child, and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of money, and for me, I just kind of freaked
Speaker 1: out a little bit. I didn't want to lose Rose,
Speaker 1: but I knew, as from a support standpoint, what I
Speaker 1: could afford, and I know it was it was gonna
Speaker 1: cost because I bought a rain like I was ready
Speaker 1: to bring her back on a K one visa, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's the plan. So at the time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, look, I'm gonna have to spend all this money,
Speaker 1: plus I'm gonna have to, you know, help prints come over.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking like you know, we're
Speaker 1: talking a lot of a lot of money, you know,
Speaker 1: And now she wants to start she wants more kids.
Speaker 1: So I went about it the wrong way. I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe if I just got a vasecto me and didn't
Speaker 1: tell her, that could be my way out, which you know,
Speaker 1: it's never a good reason ever to hide anything from anybody,
Speaker 1: especially yeah, no, no, no, and you know, and that's
Speaker 1: just like well, just like asking her to take you know,
Speaker 1: the you know, in the in the beginning, I asked
Speaker 1: her to take an STD test and um. Once my
Speaker 1: daughter and I started talking and she's like, Dad, look,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to judge you, but you know, if
Speaker 1: you were smart, you should have got a test before
Speaker 1: you went down and said, hey, look I took a test.
Speaker 1: Because she wasn't being She wouldn't talk about her past. Ever.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't tell me anything about her past. And when
Speaker 1: I got back from the Philippines, the first thing I
Speaker 1: did as I got tested and I was clean. But
Speaker 1: my daughter's like, Dad, you screwed that up. And then
Speaker 1: I mean, you saw you saw a couple of the
Speaker 1: other scenes. I um, I asked her to I gave
Speaker 1: her lingerie and then, um, you know, she had like,
Speaker 1: you know, bad breath. I'm like, hey, here's some toothpaste
Speaker 1: and mouthwash and it makes your breast smell pretty. I
Speaker 1: mean just I mean, my intentions were right, but the
Speaker 1: way that I went about it was just not good.
Speaker 1: So you know that I feel bad I did. I
Speaker 1: never meant to to hurt her or you know, insult
Speaker 1: her in any way. I just you know, I just did.
Speaker 1: I just said some dumb things, you know. But y'all
Speaker 1: do I think at the other day, is it weird
Speaker 1: watching yourself back? You know, like haters aside that you
Speaker 1: get on the internet and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Do you do you enjoy at least like seeing yourself
Speaker 1: back on TV? Is it? Or is it kind of
Speaker 1: one of those things that's like weird for you? Because
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people that go through that
Speaker 1: whole thing. They see themselves on TV and they're like
Speaker 1: like who is that person? Or they get really excited
Speaker 1: about it. How do you where do you fall on that?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm amazed because I stream at night. I'm like
Speaker 1: like it's like almost like an out of body experience.
Speaker 1: When I do live stream. People will get on, you know,
Speaker 1: with their family and their friends and there, you know,
Speaker 1: they're you know, you know, um young adults and couples
Speaker 1: and whatever, and um, they lose their mind. They freak
Speaker 1: out over me and they're like they're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start crying. I'm like, don't, don't do that.
Speaker 1: Just I'm just big at I'm just whatever. So I
Speaker 1: don't know why they're so excited about me. I don't
Speaker 1: get it. I don't get it, Like none of my
Speaker 1: friends are that excited about me because they just deal.
Speaker 1: But but but I don't get it, Like I know,
Speaker 1: I do like you know, you know, crazy thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I put nair on a on a on a home
Speaker 1: depot rollerbrush, and that's how I get a narrow off
Speaker 1: my back. I mean, that's how I get here off
Speaker 1: my back. I mean I do a lot of these
Speaker 1: like crazy things. You know. Fifteen years ago, I was
Speaker 1: on a pool table, you know, dressed up as not
Speaker 1: your webray. You know, It's just this is kind of
Speaker 1: who I am. But I just it that part. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to kind of grapple with where people are
Speaker 1: more excited about me than I ever thought possible. And
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just on TV just you know, being
Speaker 1: who I am and just you know, showering with their
Speaker 1: dad and that that rat scene, I mean, that's was
Speaker 1: people was pretty intense. That was for for for me.
Speaker 1: You were by a lot of livestock and a rat
Speaker 1: that looked exactly like Splinter from Teenage Mutant in the Turtles,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. So for me, you guys, this was it
Speaker 1: was a very surreal experience, you know, the bottom line,
Speaker 1: it's like it never really happened. And then we did
Speaker 1: all the filming. This was all done back in in
Speaker 1: in um late you know, August, early September. But I
Speaker 1: couldn't talk about it with anybody. I couldn't. You know,
Speaker 1: they're very very like strict, like you can't see anything.
Speaker 1: So when it first came out in January, like I said,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I didn't think. I didn't think.
Speaker 1: Like my buddy John called me today. He's in Auckland.
Speaker 1: He's quarantine on a million dollar yacht. We went to
Speaker 1: architecture school together and he's telling me, hey, hey, I
Speaker 1: saw your high school picture. I pulled up my feet
Speaker 1: and you're on my on my on my Internet. I thought,
Speaker 1: when when I go to my computer, like your personal
Speaker 1: home computer, and you go to Google, it pulls me
Speaker 1: up because they know who I am because I'm using
Speaker 1: that computer. Well, no, apparently if you type in the
Speaker 1: words big head, it's like forever. Oh I know, but
Speaker 1: it's every picture from high school. I mean they went
Speaker 1: back and just dug. I'll never forget when my name
Speaker 1: first got released my local Providence journal because I was
Speaker 1: born and raised Rhoe Island. Uh put a picture of
Speaker 1: me and said, uh, his name is Jared. He's twenty
Speaker 1: six and he lives in Rhode Island. If you have
Speaker 1: any information about him, please send in and was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, this is this could go bad fast, but
Speaker 1: thank god it worked out. But big head, we I
Speaker 1: wish we could talk to you more. Unfortunately, run out
Speaker 1: of time. Thank you so much for joining us. I
Speaker 1: know you're a busy man right now. You are freaking
Speaker 1: cooking with tory spelling here in a few minutes. Due,
Speaker 1: can I tell you what we're doing? So she's like,
Speaker 1: I guess they want kid chef or whatever. So like,
Speaker 1: do you have any ideas? I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make I want to do grilled cheese sandwiches. Okay, well
Speaker 1: how are you gonna do them? Well? I go, I'm
Speaker 1: using an iron and iron for a grilled cheese sandwich. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I had to go buy an iron from like
Speaker 1: um from like Target today and then I'm but I'm
Speaker 1: doing I'm doing an elvis I'm doing and it's kind
Speaker 1: of like a well, I'm doing like a caprizy like
Speaker 1: an Italian with the with the buffalo cheese and the basil.
Speaker 1: And then because the single the Mayo, I'm doing cilantro
Speaker 1: tomato and Mexican jack, and then I'm with hallapeino, and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna do a it's my elvis. It's a
Speaker 1: It's a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich. And where
Speaker 1: can we watch this? Tune it on? It's I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be striving on tour on her life because she I
Speaker 1: only have three hundred, she has like one point five,
Speaker 1: so I know, yeah, that's it and she is um,
Speaker 1: which I'm very happy with it by the way, But
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna be streaming on her we go live
Speaker 1: at seven p MPST. All right, cool, we'll check it out.
Speaker 1: Perfect for the listeners out there that want to get
Speaker 1: more of ED two and Rose, they can go to
Speaker 1: see Fiance before the ninety days airs Sunday nights on
Speaker 1: t l C all the way up through like June.
Speaker 1: I think, right, there's yeah, they're gonna yeah, They're yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot. I kind of tell you that
Speaker 1: it's a lot of fun. Anywhere I go, people like
Speaker 1: they freak out and they want my picture, and it's well,
Speaker 1: we wish the best for you, big d We really
Speaker 1: wish for you, for for Rose as well, and uh,
Speaker 1: we just hope whatever happens in in your individual futures,
Speaker 1: we just wish the best for both you guys. Dude,
Speaker 1: I love you and deep piece out man, let yourself
Speaker 1: and laugh at yourself. Okay, okay, okay, bye. That guy
Speaker 1: is a character, to say the least. I wanted to ask.
Speaker 1: But he must have been from the East Coast, right,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think he maybe he feels
Speaker 1: like he's from the East Coast, But who the hell
Speaker 1: knows that high, that high energy vibe about him. I
Speaker 1: like I didn't. I was like scared to talk because
Speaker 1: he was just a bulldozer that with the words and
Speaker 1: the stories. Yeah, he's he was a bull in a
Speaker 1: china shop with his vernacular. But he's hilarious. And I'll
Speaker 1: be honest, I haven't watched much, but he kind of
Speaker 1: makes me want to watch a little bit. It's good
Speaker 1: and his storyline is really good, and like a lot
Speaker 1: of people are giving him crap for the thing. Some
Speaker 1: of the things he did that he pointed out where
Speaker 1: he gave her toothbrushing, toothpasers, you have bad breath, and
Speaker 1: and uh there's some other things to be asked her
Speaker 1: for to take an STD test, like all things. While watching,
Speaker 1: I really don't think we're ridiculous. I thought his approach
Speaker 1: needed to be changed. He could have been a little
Speaker 1: bit more delicate, especially about the STD test, Like his
Speaker 1: daughter said, that's a good idea. You take one and
Speaker 1: then be like, hey, I take I took one. I
Speaker 1: just want to make sure we're all safe, you know.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Uh, well that was yeah, that was He
Speaker 1: was exactly what I thought he was gonna be, which
Speaker 1: I found quite endearing. But we have emails coming up,
Speaker 1: so you're not gonna want to miss out on that
Speaker 1: in case, Anonymous A. K. Nick Bile writes in, But
Speaker 1: before then, here's a word from a sponsor. Okay, we
Speaker 1: are back with a little bit more of Sucky Dating,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna talk to you guys about some emails
Speaker 1: that she decided to take the time to email us,
Speaker 1: which we really appreciate you. You You guys want to follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram we are at help. I suck at dating.
Speaker 1: It's a great follow Jared. You want to read the
Speaker 1: first one from the first one that emails we got,
Speaker 1: But I do kind of want to contin I want
Speaker 1: to continue plugging the Instagram. Is that too much? So again,
Speaker 1: you just follow us. We are at help underscore, I
Speaker 1: suck at dating. Uh. There's pictures of DN on there. Uh.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm on there too. Uh. It's really cool. You
Speaker 1: can like us, you can follow us. Truthfully, Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I want to get us to be the most followed
Speaker 1: I heart radio podcast Instagram, and right now we're like
Speaker 1: six seven hundred and scrubbing in is like a little
Speaker 1: less than twenty three thousand. And I know that there
Speaker 1: are people listening to this podcast who don't follow us.
Speaker 1: So what I need you guys to do, what I
Speaker 1: need Suck Army to do, is follow us and just
Speaker 1: give me this little satisfaction of being the most followed podcast.
Speaker 1: That's all. That's all just doing for Jake anyway, All right,
Speaker 1: let's get emails. Uh. This is from Lose. I'm a
Speaker 1: mini Giannina. I am twenty four years old and my
Speaker 1: fiance is thirty and we are from Jersey, and I
Speaker 1: find myself sometimes getting close Giannini's level of heat from
Speaker 1: the show Love Is Blind. Never do I cuss my
Speaker 1: fiance out, but I definitely get angry and I get
Speaker 1: a little cuckoo. My fiance and I are constantly working out,
Speaker 1: and of course I have never made us end things
Speaker 1: as we are getting married in June, but I definitely
Speaker 1: would love some techniques with this department. How do you
Speaker 1: keep cool when somebody drives you so crazy or does
Speaker 1: something that really bothers you? Dean? How do you stay
Speaker 1: cool when Kaitlin does something that annoys you and while
Speaker 1: you want to address it, you can't get angry. How
Speaker 1: do I stay cool in a situation like that? I
Speaker 1: think we've talked about this before. We just talk it out.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we let it fester. You're a little too long,
Speaker 1: but then you just reach your boiling point and you're like, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's the deal, what's going on? If you can have
Speaker 1: an open dialogue with with the person that you're talking to,
Speaker 1: I don't think that there really should anything You should
Speaker 1: ever really get that bad? What do you think? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean I agree, I mean Ashley, it's hard right
Speaker 1: because you want to you want to have an open dialogue.
Speaker 1: But do you find any time in your relationship when
Speaker 1: Kalin or even you towards Kalin, you guys are being
Speaker 1: a little too honest, where like everything that's bothering you
Speaker 1: you address and then it becomes a point like how
Speaker 1: many times do almost like you're a pain in the ass? Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks to me, I'll say things, uh, and she'll be like,
Speaker 1: She'll obviously be like, well, you're getting upset about that,
Speaker 1: you know, And it's just like stupid little things. And
Speaker 1: I think to the earlier part of the episode when
Speaker 1: we're saying how just irritable we are in the situations
Speaker 1: that we are, Like, that's what it is. You just
Speaker 1: find like you're getting annoyed about little dumb things. I
Speaker 1: annoyed myself with stupid little things too, But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's just like you have to put into a
Speaker 1: perspective about how insignificant the annoying things here. I know,
Speaker 1: what do you think? Well, it's hard because Ashley. Ashley
Speaker 1: is such a great communicator. She says everything that's on
Speaker 1: her mind. You guys know, Ashley, She's the most transparent
Speaker 1: person I've ever met. She literally can't tell a lie.
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes that bugs me because she'll say
Speaker 1: everything that bothers her, even if it's something small, and
Speaker 1: she doesn't say it in a bad way or a
Speaker 1: mean way. She's just like, hey, can you not do that?
Speaker 1: And it's like, can you just let one thing go?
Speaker 1: Can you let one thing go? But then I come
Speaker 1: back to me and tell myself, well, this is your wife.
Speaker 1: She should tell you whatever bothers her. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, I just want, you know, maybe maybe if
Speaker 1: there's one small thing that bothers you, just don't say it.
Speaker 1: Just don't say let it go, and we'll all be happy.
Speaker 1: I go back and forth. I don't know what the
Speaker 1: right answer is. Is there a big thing that actually
Speaker 1: doesn't bothers you? Maybe not now, but like that she
Speaker 1: had done in the past, that you expressed that you
Speaker 1: didn't like, that you can think of, Oh, I think,
Speaker 1: um man, that's actually a great question which I don't
Speaker 1: know the answer to right now. A big thing that
Speaker 1: she used to do that maybe she doesn't do anymore. Well,
Speaker 1: she has a tough time of letting things go. Man,
Speaker 1: that's the one thing. Like we'll have a you know,
Speaker 1: we'll have a you know, a disagreement and we won't
Speaker 1: really come to a resolution because even though we articulated
Speaker 1: each other's points, like, we still are kind of like
Speaker 1: I still see I still see my argument over yours,
Speaker 1: and she just cannot let that go. She can't be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we disagree. She just needs like for you to understand
Speaker 1: her point and not agree with her, but like make
Speaker 1: her not feel crazy. And so that's one thing where
Speaker 1: I'm like, you gotta just hey, we came to you know,
Speaker 1: everything's fine. Now we can change the subject to move on.
Speaker 1: And she's like, no, no, no no, you're not understanding my point,
Speaker 1: Like you gotta let it go, Let it go. I
Speaker 1: think I thought of one too, and I've talked about
Speaker 1: this like years ago on this podcast. But my biggest
Speaker 1: pet peeves, or at least one of my biggest pet peeves,
Speaker 1: is when I say something, and granted I do mumble often,
Speaker 1: so it's it's not always the other person's fault, but
Speaker 1: I'll say something and the first response, maybe even before
Speaker 1: you're done saying what you were saying, is is them
Speaker 1: responding what? And just something about the word what really
Speaker 1: just drives me up the wall, Like if you didn't
Speaker 1: hear what the person said to say, like pardon, excuse me,
Speaker 1: like can you repeat yourself? Like there are more polite
Speaker 1: ways too to be refreshed on the things they just said.
Speaker 1: But more often than not, what is really frustrating for
Speaker 1: me is when I say something, the person responds what,
Speaker 1: And then what I've done, what I've started doing as
Speaker 1: an adult, is I just won't repeat myself, and then
Speaker 1: they'll answer the question or respond to the statement. You know,
Speaker 1: they knew it took them a while to figure out
Speaker 1: what I said, but they were using the word what
Speaker 1: as a time folder to figure it out. Why do
Speaker 1: people do that? I do that sometimes, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I do. I do as well. I'm guilty of it
Speaker 1: as well. But it's just for some reason so frustrating
Speaker 1: for me. And there are times where, like when Cayleen
Speaker 1: and I for the first, you know, ten months of
Speaker 1: our relationship, she was super, super good at it, and
Speaker 1: I don't know if maybe she was like listening more
Speaker 1: intently or if I was speaking more clearly, But I've
Speaker 1: noticed over the past month I've had to start repeating
Speaker 1: myself a little bit more. Like we have like little
Speaker 1: irritable arguments over that which I get really frustrated by,
Speaker 1: and like, I, I know, it's so silly to me
Speaker 1: to get frustrated by, Like I I feel myself getting frustrated,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, dude, why are you getting upset about?
Speaker 1: Like just annoyed by? This doesn't make sense? Um. But
Speaker 1: then she like she sees it happening too, and so
Speaker 1: she tries to like, you know, we're both trying to
Speaker 1: be better at it. But it's that's that's definitely the
Speaker 1: one thing that drives us to argue a little bit
Speaker 1: more often than anything else. So how do you stay
Speaker 1: cool like in that moment where you find yourself getting
Speaker 1: annoyed and you realize you're getting annoyed? How do you
Speaker 1: not just like have a little outburst. What do you do? Well?
Speaker 1: I just get quiet. If Kylen were to answer this question,
Speaker 1: she would just say that I just shut off and
Speaker 1: don't talk for however much time I need to cool down.
Speaker 1: That's kind of what I do, is just focus on
Speaker 1: something else. I do this come back. Yeah, I wonder
Speaker 1: if that's healthy. I wonder if that's the right thing
Speaker 1: to do. It's probably not. We're probably gonna like spontaneously
Speaker 1: combusts someday. I think, oh, well, well at least one
Speaker 1: hell of a story. Well, we hope that, we hope
Speaker 1: that that that non answer helped our listener out there.
Speaker 1: Do we say it was lose, was lose or less?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I think yeah. Anyways, that'll do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode. I know that we wish we could
Speaker 1: answer more emails, but we'll save a couple more for
Speaker 1: next week as well. Thank you to Ed Brown of
Speaker 1: course for calling in and being a guest with us,
Speaker 1: Jared as always, and Tori of course. Thanks you guys
Speaker 1: for listening, and we will be sure to see you
Speaker 1: next week, where maybe we will suck just a little
Speaker 1: bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast