1 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJDJ. 2 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: Starting for as usual, this conversation you all don't get 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: to We should record the pre conversation before we start, 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: in which every time I say, hey, you want to 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: start and your reaction is absolutely not And then I say. 6 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 2: Why do I have to do it? 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: And then you say. 8 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 2: You should know by now? 9 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? Have do? 10 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 2: We have to keep doing that every time. 11 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: Every time. Welcome everybody. Thank you all so much, and 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: we should say thank you to a bunch of folks 13 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: that the last few weeks, even to a month, we've 14 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: we've put together a few episodes that are really resonating 15 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: with a lot of folks, and we appreciate a lot 16 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: of your feedback. Actually I say feedback, but I guess 17 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: it's nice to know that some of the things we 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: talk about are resonating with people. And there's been some 19 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: you know, I've been proud of some of the stuff 20 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: we put out the last few weeks and the people 21 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: we've talked to and them help helping them get their 22 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: messages out. So thank you to the listeners out there 23 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 1: to who've been supporting us. 24 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, thank and we it feels good to know that 25 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 2: some of what we experience or what we're feeling is 26 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 2: something that you all do too. It just makes it 27 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 2: feel more communal, and that's what we're hoping for, and 28 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 2: even some of the celebrities who we've had on it 29 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 2: feels so personal because it all. I feel like our 30 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 2: podcast turn into group therapy so often, but there are 31 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 2: so many people. It doesn't matter if you're a celebrity 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 2: or if you're you know, wherever you come from, whatever 33 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 2: your walk in life is, we all experience the same things, 34 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 2: you know. Basically, we all have the same reactions to things, 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 2: and we all have the same fears and the same 36 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,319 Speaker 2: hopes and dreams. So it's just it's nice to feel 37 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 2: it all come together and to know that some of 38 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 2: these stories that we experience resonate. 39 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: And no matter who you are, where you are in 40 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: your life, everybody can relate to something or has some memory. 41 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: And if you're a parent or a parent of a 42 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: young child, this you're going through it. Birthday parties, right, 43 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: do you remember do you have the memory of your 44 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: first not your first birthday party, but what's the first 45 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: memory you have of a birthday party in your life? 46 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 2: My own personal one as. 47 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: A child that age. 48 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 2: I was six. Wow, okay, I was six. I was 49 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 2: in first grade, and I still remember because it was 50 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 2: a really big deal. My parents didn't have a lot, 51 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: so it was a big deal for them. And I 52 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 2: got the birthday party thrown at McDonald's and they had 53 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 2: a little caboose in the back of one of the 54 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: McDonald's restaurants, and Ronald McDonald actually came, and it was 55 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 2: I was verifying. Yeah now, looking back, yes, maybe that's 56 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,119 Speaker 2: where my fear of clowns started. I never even thought 57 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: about that, but it was just so exciting. I can 58 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: still remember the boy sitting next to me. His name 59 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 2: was Brian Winnikey. Like It's funny, like certain moments that 60 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 2: are wow powerful, that meant so much to you, you 61 00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 2: can remember really significant or actually seemingly insignificant tells now 62 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 2: that you get older. But I can still remember the 63 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 2: boy sitting next to me. His name was Brian Winnekey. 64 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: Was Okay, I'm I mean, I'm a little at this 65 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: point too much of an adult to still be jealous 66 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: of a six year old named Brian when I mean right, 67 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: I mean, it's a little much, ain't it. I should 68 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: probably Oh my goodness. I mean, he really stole your heart. 69 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,079 Speaker 1: You're fifty one. I was excited, and as a six 70 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,519 Speaker 1: year old, you still are talking about we're going to 71 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: edit this out because wherever that guy is right now, 72 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: he's sitting back. Yeah, she's still thinking about man. 73 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 2: No, but you know what I'm saying. 74 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: I don't. 75 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: Actually you don't know, But like you, I just remember 76 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 2: it feeling very special and it was a really big deal. 77 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 2: And I hadn't had a birthday party yet before that, 78 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: so it was a big deal. 79 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: How about you, I'm trying to I don't remember the age. 80 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: I remember. I can see the living room, the dining room, 81 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: the kids that were gathered around, and I was opening presents. 82 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: This is five or six, probably, but I can remember 83 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: opening presents. And then there was a present that my 84 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: parents brought in. It was still wrapped, but I knew 85 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: what it was. It was this Gi Joe set. It 86 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 1: had like like fifty pieces in this thing, and I 87 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,559 Speaker 1: was opening somebody else's gift. But I saw them coming 88 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: with that and I knew what it was, and I like, 89 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: hell with everything else, and it was really rude, And 90 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: now I think it was a really but it was 91 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: that is the first memory birthday party memory I have. 92 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: Do you remember, though, what's the your kids though their 93 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: birthday parties? Do you have Your kids are seventeen and 94 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: twenty now twenty one. 95 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 2: Twenty one and about to turn eighteen next week? Yeah, 96 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 2: oh yeah, got a birthday? 97 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: Do you remember when they were four, five, six, seven, eight? 98 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 1: The birthday parties? 99 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: So I remember, I think so many of us kind 100 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 2: of take traditions from our own families. So I didn't 101 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 2: throw my kids a traditional birthday party of any kind 102 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 2: except for like my parents, like the grandparents. That was 103 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 2: it until they were in school. So when they got 104 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 2: to kindergarten and first grade, I said, I actually put 105 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 2: a rule because I just didn't want things to get 106 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 2: out of control. Here in Manhattan people it's there's there's 107 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: big birthday parties. So I said they could have a 108 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 2: party every other year, and I staggered it with the 109 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 2: girls so ill because I just didn't want to go through. 110 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 2: They could have like a small group of friends, but 111 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 2: like a big birthday party. So the rule was in 112 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 2: my kid's school when they were in elementary school, you 113 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 2: couldn't just invite a few people. You had to invite 114 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 2: the entire grade. That's a significant expense. Yes, wow, And 115 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 2: we have small New York City apartments, so typically it 116 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 2: has to be you know, at some other place, and 117 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 2: then they charge exorbitant amounts of money for all of 118 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 2: these kids. So just from honestly from a financial standpoint, 119 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 2: I had to I made them choose. Every other year 120 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 2: they could have like one or two friends have a sleepover. 121 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 2: That was fine. 122 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: Why would you take on the whole like thirty kids. 123 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 2: Yes, And the first time I did it, I thought, 124 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 2: there's no way all the kids are going to say yes, 125 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: guess what it was at Build a Bear and all 126 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 2: the kids showed up as Build a Bear. 127 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 128 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 2: I made that mistake once. It didn't make it again. 129 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: So wait, so who got a fifth birthday party? Analisa? Ava? 130 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: You said they had to staber. 131 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 2: It worked out they're almost four years apart, so three 132 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 2: and a half years apart. So I don't know how 133 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 2: I did it. But whenever they got into kindergarten, that's 134 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 2: when it starts about this. 135 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: Did you ever have to throw two birthday parties in 136 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,360 Speaker 1: the same year because Ava won in one at annals 137 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 1: or the years were staggered? 138 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 2: I don't remember that because Ava is in December and 139 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 2: Analyse is in May. So it just I can't please. 140 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 2: I wish I could remember that, but I cannot tell 141 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,919 Speaker 2: you honestly. But I did make them go every other year. 142 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: And you love that stuff. Don't you miss throwing birthday parties? 143 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 2: I do not? 144 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: Why not? 145 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 2: Baby, it's a lot of work. 146 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 1: What you mean, it's a lot of work. Hey, show up, 147 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 1: let's have some fun and celebrate my child. That's the 148 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: end of it. 149 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 2: I think every parent knows it is a lot of work, 150 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 2: and it's sometimes it's not just a lot of work 151 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 2: to throw one, it's a lot of work to attend one, 152 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: because often you go with your kids and then there's 153 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 2: a time commitment with other parents, and it's just it 154 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 2: is work. 155 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: Now, are you one that does the every kid that's 156 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: invited gets a party favor or like a bag, a 157 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: gift bag. 158 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 2: Or something that wasn't Yes, because it felt a goodie bag. Yes, 159 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 2: because I was told by my children that they well, 160 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 2: they all would come back with one. So then it 161 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 2: became this thing where you felt you had to then 162 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: give a goodie bag for everybody. Yes, it's a tremendous 163 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 2: amount of work. Did you do any of these things. 164 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: Well, yes, but with Sabine it was very specific in 165 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: that you can invite this many people, like I wanted 166 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: to see her list, like, you don't even like that girl, 167 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: take her off please, So it was all of her 168 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: parties were very much Oh it wasn't an open and update. 169 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no no. 170 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 2: There wasn't a rule that you had to invite the 171 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 2: entire class. 172 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: No, that was it my kid's There was a rule 173 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: that you cannot invite the entire class. 174 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 2: I mean that would have been my personal family rule, 175 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 2: but it was superseded by the school's rule. 176 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: Okay, but a part of the issue in birthday parties 177 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: is that it's expensive. You got cake, Yes, you got 178 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: to provide food. Now here in New York. I'm not 179 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: sure around the rest of the country, but here it's 180 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: a big thing. Like the adults, the parents expect to 181 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: be fed, and they expect alcohol. Yes a lot of time. 182 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 2: There's an open bar almost at every birthday party. 183 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: So you got that. And then these goodie bags were 184 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: talking about end up being incredibly expensive if you have 185 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: to do ten, fifteen, twenty, certainly, but even if you 186 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: do five to ten. Here in New York, you buy 187 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: the bag, you buy a card, you get this little widget, 188 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: you got this bag of candy. You have to do 189 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: a Rollblotz gift card. You got to do all and 190 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: next thing you know, it is incredibly expensive. So the 191 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 1: idea of a fiver birthday party for your child sounds great, 192 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: but it also is something I only learned about about 193 00:08:59,240 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: thirty minutes now. 194 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 2: Same I actually learned about it thirty minutes before you. 195 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 1: Yes, this morning, Andy, Emma, you'll know what a fiver 196 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 1: or birthday party is. All right. Our producers are sitting 197 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: here shaking their heads. Please Rope explain. 198 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 2: Well, I just want to start by saying, God, I 199 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 2: wish that was around when my kids were younger. But 200 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 2: I think we saw the trend maybe first around twenty 201 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,559 Speaker 2: nineteen when we looked it up. We just did a 202 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 2: bunch of really quick recent research. But that's the first 203 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: time we saw someone suggest this. But because of all 204 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: of the things we just mentioned, I don't know who 205 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 2: started the trend, but they just said, hey, instead of 206 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 2: going through this arduous task of going and finding a 207 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 2: birthday present, you don't even really know what the kid wants. 208 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 2: They may already have one, and you got to get 209 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 2: the gift card and the receipt the whole thing, and 210 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 2: spending usually thirty, sometimes upwards of fifty dollars per child, 211 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 2: and that really adds up. So they came up with 212 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 2: the idea, don't bring a card, don't bring a gift, 213 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 2: just bring five dollars. Wow, that would have made my 214 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 2: life so much easier, not just for my kids attending 215 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,079 Speaker 2: a part, but when I threw a party, you now 216 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 2: have to deal with thirty gifts of things your kids 217 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 2: don't actually need and may not have even wanted in 218 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 2: the first place. 219 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: So it sounds like a brilliant idea brilliant So why 220 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 1: then one mother who expressed that she was having essentially 221 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: a fiver r birthday party got incredible online hate, incredible 222 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: social media hate. I guess you could say this post 223 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: she went viral. But the idea that she was saying 224 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: is that instead of bringing a gift, hey we got 225 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: a little backyard renovation, bring us five bucks. And for 226 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: whatever reason that set say no, no, no, I shouldn't say 227 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: whatever reason. But some people thought that was tacky, it 228 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: was rude, it was lazy, it was unnecessary, and it's 229 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: not what should be done. And this mother is named 230 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: Rachel Gibbs and she lives down in Houston. And you 231 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: know what, she stood by what she said and why 232 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: and justify and explained why she wanted to do it. 233 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: But still I don't know, even after hearing some of 234 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: the explanation that a lot of people gave her a break. 235 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 2: About that's right. Well, you know what, And I think 236 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,319 Speaker 2: it'd be the perfect time to bring in Rachel right 237 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 2: now because she is joining us from Houston. Rachel, welcome 238 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 2: to the podcast. 239 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 4: Hi, thanks for having me. 240 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 2: All right, so tell us what kind of feedback, if 241 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 2: we can call it, that you've been getting after your 242 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 2: fiver announcement. 243 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, the birthday party heard around the world, right, No, 244 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 3: I think you know that feedback was something. 245 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 4: I know what it came from. 246 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 3: It's because when I put in the video, I said, 247 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 3: we have some work to do, like we. 248 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 4: Need to resaw it and do all this stuff. 249 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 3: On the invitation I put like make it a kid's 250 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 3: paradise or what I'll like, help us make our backyard 251 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 3: our kids paradise or something. 252 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 4: We're getting a swing set. We should have clarified that. 253 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't. 254 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 3: Know really why people are so upset, like you don't 255 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 3: get invited to birthday parties for people you don't know. 256 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,079 Speaker 3: So like if somebody that you know invites you to 257 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 3: a party and puts a simple request, it's like a 258 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 3: wedding registry, or people send Amazon links to their kids' 259 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 3: wish lists all the time. 260 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:15,959 Speaker 1: I don't know. 261 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 4: I don't feel it's any different. 262 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, why do you think it would have made 263 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: a difference if you would have been more specific and 264 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: said it's for a swing set versus just a backyard renovation. 265 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 1: Why do you think that would have made a difference. 266 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 4: I don't know. 267 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 3: I think maybe because people see that as something that 268 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 3: like my husband and I would benefit from, even though 269 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 3: like my kids spend hours in our backyard every single day, 270 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 3: Like both of our children are on the grass. Well 271 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 3: it's not even grass, it's just stirk. We need to resawd. 272 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 3: But they spend so much time in the backyard. 273 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 2: And Rachel, the feedback, the negative feedback that you got 274 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 2: from a lot of people, did that come from people 275 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 2: who didn't know you? How did the actual party guests 276 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 2: respond to your request? 277 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 3: Oh, everyone who like was invited either just showed up 278 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 3: and didn't bring five dollars I think we had five people, 279 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 3: five four or five people bring cash. 280 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,719 Speaker 1: You know what, who did you discuss this idea with 281 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: ahead of time? And what was the reaction from like 282 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: your husband, your your your family, your friends about it? 283 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so as far as family goes, just my 284 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 3: mom comes, but I mean my in laws loved the idea. 285 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 3: I took the idea actually from another friend of mine 286 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 3: who had done this before. But she's up in Canada, 287 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 3: so I guess that maybe is something they do up there. 288 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 3: I don't know, I had never heard of it before. 289 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:45,479 Speaker 3: But we had a great time. Seriously, like I can't 290 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 3: even like come up with words just because it was 291 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 3: so it was such a nineties vibe party, like literally 292 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 3: everybody just hanging out in the backyard, babies in like 293 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 3: the little tight swings go like it was like the 294 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 3: cozy coops, the old school stuff. 295 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 4: Like it was such a good time. 296 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 2: You didn't have entertainers, and you didn't have fireworks, and 297 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 2: you didn't have snow cone machines and all the things 298 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 2: that we see people do. But when did you first 299 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 2: start seeing the negative reaction? And what were some of 300 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 2: the worst things that folks wrote to you? 301 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 4: So the worst thing is. 302 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 3: I don't know if y'all have heard of the like 303 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 3: boy mom versus girl mom culture, Like they have this 304 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 3: toxic idea about boy mom culture versus girl mom culture 305 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 3: boy mom culture being like the moms have that like 306 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 3: weird attachment to their sons right and like prioritize their 307 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 3: sons over their daughters or almost romanticize that relationship. And 308 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 3: when I put in the video like these are things 309 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 3: I did for my son's part or that for my 310 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 3: daughter's party that I didn't. 311 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 4: Do for my sons or whatever. 312 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 3: When I made that comparison, people took it as, oh, 313 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 3: you prioritize the sun but not the daughter, And I'm like, no, 314 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 3: he it was a guinea pig like this. 315 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 4: I didn't know what I was doing. 316 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 3: Why did I spend like two hundred and fifty dollars 317 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 3: on customized cookies for a one year old's birthday party? 318 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 4: That was so dumb? 319 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 3: Like it was dumb and not No. I went to Kroger, 320 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 3: got a Betty Cropper cake mix and made some cupcakes 321 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 3: the second time and it cost four dollars. 322 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: Okay, well, can we compare what you spent on your 323 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: sons versus your daughter's birthday party. 324 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 3: For my son's party, I've probably spent around one thousand years. 325 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 3: It was still in our house, so we still didn't 326 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 3: like go to a venue or anything. But I had 327 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 3: it catered and I did the cake, and I did 328 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 3: the cookies, and I did the party favors for everyone, 329 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 3: and I did the custom download from Etsy where I 330 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 3: had everything printed out, and all the balloon walls and 331 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 3: this that and the third and all this. It was 332 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 3: just a bunch just crap that I ended up just 333 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 3: throwing away love. So this time I had We had 334 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 3: a big ballpit blow up thing that one of two 335 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: of my friends, their daughter is same age as our son, 336 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 3: and they bought like a blow up ballpit thing because 337 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 3: they're like, we use it all the time. We blow 338 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 3: it up for our daughter in our backyard all the time. 339 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 3: So they're like, do you want us to bring it. 340 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 3: I was like, heck, yeah, come on. So they brought that. 341 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 3: So all the toddlers were loving that. And then another 342 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 3: one of my friends owns a balloon company and she 343 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 3: did the balloon arch thing, so that was really pretty. 344 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 4: I didn't have to buy him on Amazon or. 345 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 1: Anything, but that ended up costing you what this birthday 346 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 1: party the one year old. This last birthday party calls 347 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: you what less than. 348 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 4: Four hundred dollars. 349 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 2: So I mean, as as a mom who has been there, 350 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 2: done that, As TG said, mine are twenty one and 351 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: almost eighteen, I applaud that you know you you you 352 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 2: do make mistakes the first time because you kind of 353 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: go all out and you realize, wait, this birthday party 354 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,719 Speaker 2: isn't for my child, It's for me, and everyone is 355 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 2: one upping each other on whatever it is Pinterest or 356 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 2: Instagram or whatever, and then you start to realize, wait 357 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 2: a minute, I'm going to do something that makes sense 358 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 2: for my family. So were you surprised at the at 359 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 2: some of the hate. 360 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was, like I said, I wasn't. 361 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 3: It wasn't one of those videos that was like trying 362 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 3: to get a reaction out of people. Some of my 363 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 3: content is very curated and some of it is pretty 364 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 3: off the riff. I'm a pretty low effort content creator, 365 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 3: That's what I like to say. I'm like, I'm not 366 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 3: going to sit here and edit all this, so I 367 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 3: don't have time for that. I have two small children. 368 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 3: I quite literally do not have the time for it. 369 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 3: But when the comment started coming in and the hate 370 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 3: started coming in. It was you know, the like, oh 371 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 3: you did this for your son, Like imagine your daughter 372 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 3: logging on in fifteen years and seeing how much you 373 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 3: don't love her. 374 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,639 Speaker 4: And it was in that moment that I was like. 375 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 3: You know, like the parent and you was just like 376 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 3: it was like I saw red just like just started 377 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 3: like rage responding, not really rage responding, but just like 378 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,640 Speaker 3: trying to defend myself and really like be like no, 379 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,960 Speaker 3: like choosing to misunderstand this and then coming at me. 380 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,439 Speaker 3: I'm of course trying to like use logic with people, 381 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,119 Speaker 3: and it's just trolls on the Internet. And then I 382 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 3: get myself all in a tizzy. 383 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 1: And so are you cool or comfortable with that? Now? 384 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,919 Speaker 1: Do you actually think there is a good portion of 385 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: the population that has takes issue with what you're doing? 386 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: Or do you really just think you were trolled a 387 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: bit and then you reacted to it, and maybe you 388 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: if you've come down and calm down a bit from 389 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: the red rage you said you hadn't for sure. 390 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's a combo, right, Like I think, 391 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 3: of course there's the trolls that are going to intentionally 392 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 3: misunderstand and just comment this stuff just to get other 393 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 3: people in the comments riled up, just to get that 394 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 3: whole situation going. And then there's people who are just 395 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 3: like stupid, you know, and just like don't listen well or. 396 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 4: You know, there's just that percentage of the population. 397 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 2: Rachel, has it turned you off at all from documenting 398 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 2: your life as a mom of two on social media? 399 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: And is this something you're earning money from? Talk a 400 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 2: little bit about why you go on social media and 401 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 2: share your life and open yourself up to potential criticism 402 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 2: for sure. 403 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 3: For sure, Yeah, this definitely has not stopped me from 404 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 3: sharing at all. 405 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,120 Speaker 4: I am a full time content creator. It is my job. 406 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,719 Speaker 3: I pay my bills from posting on social media and 407 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 3: working with brands. I am, you know, fortunate enough to 408 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 3: have posted a brand deal this morning with a really 409 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 3: cool company. 410 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 4: And you know, sharing. I know, when I share, I 411 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,679 Speaker 4: am opening myself up to criticism. 412 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 3: And I typically have pretty thick skin, right Like most 413 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 3: of the times, I'm just gonna give you a witty 414 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 3: comeback or respond like you get it. You know, Sarcasm 415 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 3: is hard sometimes, like I just kind of whatever would let. 416 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 4: It roll off my back. 417 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 3: But when people say, when people attack my husband and 418 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 3: my children. That's when I like, go feral. It's been 419 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 3: because it's not they aren't posting, it's me posting. You 420 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 3: can say what you want about me, but don't say 421 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,479 Speaker 3: what you want about my children and my husband. 422 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,479 Speaker 1: You said you had thick skin, But is there some 423 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 1: part of this that you went from being that you 424 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: might be angered by some of the things some people say. 425 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: But were you ever actually hurt by it where your 426 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: your feelings hurt to where you you had some quiet 427 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: moments to yourself that involved reflection and tears and doubt 428 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,440 Speaker 1: about the party itself and the post itself. 429 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 3: One hundred percent. There have been two posts ever that 430 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 3: I have turned comments off on. The first one was 431 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 3: the first video I had go viral a couple of 432 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 3: years ago, and thisecond one was this one, And it 433 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 3: was because I was so hurt by the hateful words 434 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,840 Speaker 3: that thousands of people were saying, like and it was 435 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 3: reiterating the same point over and over again that like, truthfully, 436 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,440 Speaker 3: I know in my heart aren't true. I know this 437 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 3: is I know we had a wonderful time. I know 438 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 3: I didn't provide a meal, but I had snacks, which 439 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 3: was plenty of like we had some leftover. I know 440 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,880 Speaker 3: those things, right, but it's the fact that those things 441 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 3: are now on the internet, and like the internet's forever, 442 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 3: and those things are out there about me, and I 443 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 3: filter my own comments because if I don't filter those comments, 444 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 3: more comments like that will come in. 445 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 4: So you have to read through them, and it does 446 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:43,679 Speaker 4: get at you. 447 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 2: Sometimes it got at you. And we know what that 448 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 2: feels like to read hurtful comments and to try to 449 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,160 Speaker 2: thicken your skin up more so to speak. Yeah, we do, 450 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 2: we have a little Yeah, we know a little bit 451 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:02,719 Speaker 2: about that. But I'm curious, did that latest post that 452 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,640 Speaker 2: garnered all that reaction, some of it and maybe even 453 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: a lot of it negative. Did it help you financially? 454 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 2: Did it boost your profile? You profited off of it? 455 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 3: Like absolutely, I am very open and honest about the 456 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 3: fact that I'm a content creator, like how I pay 457 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 3: my bills. 458 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 4: I let people know it, like, yes, it paid for 459 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 4: the party and then some that one video did so 460 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 4: thank you. Everyone appreciate that. 461 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: Okay, see this is where Rachel, people will step back. 462 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: And I have been fooled recently by another guest we 463 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: had on the podcast who posted something on it was TikTok. Yeah, 464 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: and I fell for it, and she was making fun 465 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: of me, like, yeah, I gotta stir things up. I 466 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: gotta get people to listen. I gotta get people to 467 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: chime in. Now going back and listening to your TikTok video. 468 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: Come on, Rachel, you went a little hard. You didn't 469 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,919 Speaker 1: just say I'm having a party. I'm doing you like, no, 470 00:22:55,280 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 1: get out of my house at eleven. 471 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 4: Hangs up the sign, please lead by mine. I am 472 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 4: that person. 473 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: What I'm saying that comes across the people that don't 474 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: know you as ah, she's being rude or she's being this. 475 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 1: Didn't you know Rachel a little bit that you were 476 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 1: what you were doing and messing with us and setting 477 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: some of us off. 478 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 3: Of course that's my job, right, Like, of course I 479 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,720 Speaker 3: know that kind of thing's gonna happened. I was not 480 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 3: expecting me in entire I was not expecting NBC and 481 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 3: iHeartRadio and People Magazine to be calling me. 482 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 1: But you don't mind that we did birthday. 483 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,360 Speaker 4: Party in my backyard. That's Sipper down right. 484 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,959 Speaker 2: I mean you your delivery and you say that's exactly 485 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 2: who you are. You were like, this is the way 486 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,400 Speaker 2: it's going to be. I'm not making a cake, fools, there's. 487 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 1: No hair eat before you come. 488 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 2: It's at nine am, out of my house by eleven thirty. 489 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,920 Speaker 4: Let me tell you what I have. 490 00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 3: People show up and ask for mimosas I was like, no. 491 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 1: No, that would have beel. 492 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: You're sure you don't have any prosecco like nothing. I 493 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:07,880 Speaker 2: just need a. 494 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: Market here, Tomato juice. Nothing I could work with it. 495 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 2: Did Did you get though, some support for the no 496 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 2: gift part of your birthday party? Because that really resonated 497 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: with me. It is it is out of control, I think. 498 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 2: And you know, this has been a decade for me 499 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 2: since I had to go through this, but even then 500 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 2: it was out of control. And I think it's gotten 501 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 2: even worse with social media. 502 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think especially in the position that I'm in, 503 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 3: like being an influencer content creator like I have, you know, 504 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 3: two hundred thousand plus people watching what I do, Like 505 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 3: I can't. It's not responsible of me to put on 506 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,160 Speaker 3: this big thing when that's not me, like it's one 507 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 3: it's beyond my means, Like it's just not something that 508 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 3: we can afford throwing these four or five six thousand 509 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 3: dollars birthday parties, because that's how much these parties cost. 510 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 4: It's insanity and like it's just not a responsible way 511 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 4: for me to spend my money. 512 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 3: So you know, I don't want to be authentic be 513 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 3: myself with that. 514 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 1: What would you say there was? Looking back on it now, 515 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: Is there a mistake you made in how you threw 516 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: the party? Was there a mistake you made in how 517 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: you made that TikTok post in talking about the party? 518 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 4: Honestly, no, I don't. 519 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 3: I'm very like I I feel like you have to 520 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 3: be proud of what you say when you post stuff 521 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 3: online for everybody to hear it, Like. 522 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,440 Speaker 4: You put it on the internet. 523 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,400 Speaker 3: It's there forever that has been like drilled as a millennial, 524 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 3: that was drilled into my head like I was there 525 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,120 Speaker 3: at like the birth of social media and all of that. 526 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 3: It is on the internet forever. So what you post 527 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 3: you have to be proud of. So there's nothing I 528 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,919 Speaker 3: would have done differently for the party. There's you know, 529 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 3: maybe not respond to so many of the negative comments. 530 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,679 Speaker 3: Maybe that would be the thing, so it would get 531 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 3: pushed to like more positive people's. 532 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: Algorithm and wait and when you responded, I didn't go 533 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: through all of that, But I mean, I haven't met 534 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: you before, only here. It seems like you might fire 535 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 1: back at somebody pretty harshly. That was criticized. So were 536 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 1: you going tit for tat with folks a lot of times? 537 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? 538 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 4: For sure? Oh match your energy. 539 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: So give us an example of of of something, a 540 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 2: comment that someone wrote and your response. 541 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 4: Oh gosh, okay, let me let me, let me go. 542 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:37,640 Speaker 2: We can't wait. 543 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: And pull out one that you're not especially proud of. 544 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 4: Sure for sure. Okay. 545 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 3: Someone comments hard pass, no presence, no cake, no food, 546 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 3: dot dot dot dot, why bother? I'm all for the 547 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 3: early time and minimize money spent. But with her attitude, 548 00:26:58,119 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 3: it sounds like she doesn't even want to party. 549 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 4: So why. 550 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: Oh no? Whoa wait for it? 551 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 4: I said, you weren't invited? 552 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: You know what. I appreciate that one, the simplicity. 553 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was perfect, on point, on point, Rachel. 554 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 1: That's funny. 555 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 4: Someone else commented, aren't you delightful this? 556 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 3: I was upset when I commented this. I said, when 557 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 3: I don't have to deal with comments from crotchety, mean 558 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 3: old ladies like you. 559 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:35,880 Speaker 1: Oh, Rachel, that's not gonna get you any good will. 560 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,440 Speaker 4: I know thirty one people liked it. 561 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,399 Speaker 2: That's so funny. I mean, do you usually fire back 562 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 2: and respond and how do you feel that's received them? 563 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 2: You said, thirty one people liked it, so do you 564 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 2: feel like do you feel better responding? 565 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's kind of like that, like 566 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 3: do you feel better for being rude? Like you kind 567 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 3: of get that little bit of a dopamine hit like 568 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 3: to be honest, But. 569 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,880 Speaker 4: No, it doesn't solve anything. All it does is push 570 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 4: it to the wrong people's algorithm. 571 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: Like you know, you've spoken about what you think about 572 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,399 Speaker 1: and what's appropriate for your family and a birthday party 573 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 1: for your kids, But what do you generally think about 574 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been to plenty and seen plenty and 575 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 1: invited to plenty, but what do you think about where 576 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 1: we are generally they're in Houston, in Texas, in the 577 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 1: country when it comes to how we all view birthday parties, 578 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: either as a as an invitee or the person throwing it. 579 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,119 Speaker 3: I mean, so I could go into like a whole 580 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 3: thing about this about like why I think that we 581 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 3: make every single occasion in our lives this like whole 582 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 3: big thing, But I'm not I don't need to get 583 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 3: all into that. But no, I think we have an 584 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 3: incredible amount of pressure on us, mostly from social media, 585 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 3: just because we feel like we need to you know, share, 586 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 3: and then we have this like, okay, well, what happens 587 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 3: in fifteen years when my kids look back and they 588 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 3: don't have the birthday party that so and so had, 589 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 3: and so and so doesn't have this when so and 590 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 3: so had that, Right, it's the whole. Like my first 591 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 3: car was a nineteen eighty eight BMW that the ragtop leaked, 592 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,959 Speaker 3: and then I have, you know, a friend pulling up 593 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 3: next to me and her brand new SOB convertible that 594 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 3: didn't leak, right, So it was kind of that sort 595 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 3: of thing. But for our kids now and then we 596 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 3: have social media on top of it. 597 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 2: And you just reminded me. So my daughter, as I mentioned, 598 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 2: is turning eighteen next week, but she just got and 599 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 2: they're all of her friends, she's a senior in high school, 600 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,320 Speaker 2: are all now getting their college acceptance letters. Right, So 601 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 2: she told me, and she was showing me on Instagram 602 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: all of these moms who then when they find out 603 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 2: where their daughter or their son is going to college. 604 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 2: I forgot the name of the party. Is it called 605 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 2: like a pop party whatever. You come home and you're 606 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 2: the parents surprises the kid with all this. Oh, it's 607 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 2: a merch party with all the merchandise from the college 608 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 2: that they got accepted to, and it's all laid out 609 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 2: in a beautiful display with balloons and streamers and sweatshirts 610 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 2: and sweatpants and socks and hats. And she's like, Mom, 611 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 2: look at all these and I just said, sorry, that's 612 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 2: just not who I am. I'm paying for college. You're welcome. 613 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 2: But it's funny because then you know, your kid feels 614 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 2: less and like their parents went all out. And I said, 615 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 2: you know that that is just for a photo, for 616 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 2: an Instagram photo. She's like, no, I totally get it. 617 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 2: That's absolutely what it is. But it's getting out of control, 618 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 2: from birthday parties to whatever life event it may be. 619 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 2: It does feel like everyone's trying to present this perfection 620 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: or this look what I did for my child, and 621 00:30:55,120 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 2: it's tough. I know, a merchant party, I forgot she 622 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 2: said it was called. But apparently it's a thing and 623 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 2: I don't even know the name of it. 624 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: That's kind of cool, but to each his or her own, 625 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 1: of course, But it's it's just you can't keep up 626 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: with the Joneses. You can't finance. Everybody's not able to 627 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: do that. If you are, that's cool, but I I 628 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: we we talked Rachel before we came in today to 629 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 1: talk to you. Robe said something. We were just discussing 630 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: you and I even had another podcast idea. I'll tell 631 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 1: you she said, we were talking about you. She said, 632 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna judge her for it, and that's where 633 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: we I think the issue is, and that some of 634 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: the comments and whatnot that's going on, that is what 635 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,160 Speaker 1: you did. I applaud it. I would have loved to 636 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 1: have been the parent who was throwing it. I would 637 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 1: have loved to been the parent attending it. But we 638 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: we get into this thing to where we're judging somebody 639 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 1: else for it. What you did is what you did. 640 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: Knock yourself out, cool and I love it. But even 641 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: if I didn't, I can't judge you for it. And 642 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: that is where this all comes down. It's different for everybody. 643 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: It's called say a bed party, okay, And our producer 644 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 1: just told us the thing we were talking about, the 645 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: college thing is called. 646 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,680 Speaker 2: A bed party, bed party, so bed party because they 647 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,920 Speaker 2: lay it all out on the bed and they surprised 648 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 2: the child. No one told me about a bed party, 649 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 2: So now I felt like a bad mom because I 650 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 2: didn't even know what this was. What do you mean 651 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 2: a bed party? 652 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: So, Rachel, when your kids get into college, I'm like, 653 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: oh my gosh. 654 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:25,480 Speaker 4: Like, what am I going to? 655 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 3: I mean, I thought it was elaborate when I, like 656 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 3: when I pledged my sorority and my mom had been 657 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 3: in the same sorority. She like came to our campus 658 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 3: and like decorated my dorm room and stuff. 659 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: So your kid's probably not going to get a bed party. 660 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 1: They didn't even get a cake on the first birthday, Rachel. 661 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:45,400 Speaker 1: Why not a cake? Though? 662 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 2: We have donuts and we had cupcakes by here, and 663 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 2: you know, to play off of what TJ said, I do. 664 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 2: I do think that is the important part of all 665 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 2: of this, and we have to all be more mindful 666 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 2: of this. When it comes to social media in comparison, 667 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 2: it is this judgment free zone. You get to do 668 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 2: what you think is best for your family, and you 669 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 2: can share what you think is best for your family, 670 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 2: and it might make people feel it might spark an 671 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 2: idea for someone, it might make someone feel more comfortable 672 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 2: in the fact that they can't afford to throw these 673 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 2: elaborate parties. So you are, like, just by sharing your choices, 674 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 2: you are not just angering some people, but I think 675 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 2: you're probably validating some people or making people feel less 676 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 2: guilty about not being able to throw these elaborate parties. 677 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 2: So what you're doing actually is great. I think that 678 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,719 Speaker 2: is the beautiful part of social media if people can 679 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 2: view it that way, where you can feel like you're 680 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,840 Speaker 2: not alone or that someone else is doing it differently 681 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 2: and that's okay, And that's what we're hoping, you know, 682 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 2: even anyone listening to this podcast that that hopefully is 683 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: the takeaway. Everyone's got different ways of doing things. I 684 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,200 Speaker 2: thought it was a great idea as well. So but 685 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: I just think that there's good that can come out 686 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 2: of it. It's how we view it and not being 687 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 2: adversarial with people because they do things differently. 688 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 4: For sure. 689 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 3: Like I literally went to a birthday party on Monday 690 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 3: of this week for a three year old at ten am. 691 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 4: They don't want for us. 692 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's perfect, right, but it's like others you can't go. 693 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 3: But I'm sure if that mom would have posted it 694 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 3: would have been a whole thing. 695 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 1: What about the positive comments. We focus on some of 696 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: the negative stuff, but I assume you've gotten a lot 697 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: of positive feedback. 698 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, people love the like thank you for the asking 699 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 3: us to not bring anything, like very intentionally like because 700 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 3: that was my thing. My children truthfully need nothing nothing. 701 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,560 Speaker 3: I as like because I'm a content creator. We have 702 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,240 Speaker 3: stuff show up on our porch all the time. Brand 703 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 3: send us stuff, clothes, toys, cleaning stuff, you name it, 704 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 3: we get it. So I'm constantly donating stuff. Both my 705 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,279 Speaker 3: children are only grandchildren on both sides, like they have 706 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 3: their their cousins like very much stuff. They're very spoiled, 707 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 3: and my husband and I are very much like our children. 708 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 2: Like. 709 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,240 Speaker 4: The way that they. 710 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,320 Speaker 3: Express their love at this age is different than it 711 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 3: will be later on. So we show them the way 712 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 3: that they know that their love by giving them things. Right, 713 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 3: My two year old loses his mind when I get 714 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 3: him one of those stupid little juices with the character 715 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,240 Speaker 3: on top. Oh my god, he loses it. It's cheaper 716 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 3: than me going to Starbucks and getting a coffee. Why 717 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 3: would I not get it that? 718 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 4: For him? 719 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 3: It's made his entire day, you know. That's the kind 720 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 3: of spending that I want to be intentional about. But 721 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,840 Speaker 3: I don't want you to bring a pacamega blocks to 722 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 3: my house. I have so many I don't need any more. 723 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 3: It then creates a task for me to do something 724 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 3: or it has to be regifted or or so. That 725 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,920 Speaker 3: was really the big yes yes was that don't bring stuff. 726 00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 3: And then the nine am eleven thirty like being able 727 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,280 Speaker 3: to do things and like kids being able to nap, 728 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:04,320 Speaker 3: that was huge. 729 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,800 Speaker 2: I love it, and you know, to that point, I 730 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 2: love the no gift idea, but I also someone did 731 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 2: this for me, uh and I really appreciated this, and 732 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,959 Speaker 2: I've paid it forward to anytime I give a gift 733 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 2: to someone, I say, and don't you dare write me 734 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 2: a thank you note? We're good? 735 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 4: I always do that. I don't want it. Don't want 736 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 4: it because in the South. 737 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 3: People still exest it, like let me open up my 738 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 3: drawer right here and get out my thank you cards, 739 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 3: like ily have thank you cards like in my drawer 740 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 3: right here, ready to go at my desk because I 741 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:39,759 Speaker 3: write them so often. 742 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 2: Exactly, And so when someone gives you permission to I 743 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,759 Speaker 2: know you, I know you're grateful. You don't have to 744 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 2: write a card, get the postage stamp and send it 745 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 2: in the mail. And that was such a freeing thing. 746 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 2: I just said, that's actually the best gift anyone's given me. 747 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,279 Speaker 2: I don't have to write a thank you card. Thank you. 748 00:36:58,239 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 2: DJ's perplexed right now. 749 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: Well, I forgot. I didn't know about the thank you 750 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: card thing. I have no wonder a lot of these 751 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:04,400 Speaker 1: parents don't like me. 752 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 2: You haven't been thanking them for all the guts there 753 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,040 Speaker 2: over the years and birthday, birthday thank you? 754 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 1: All right? What what did the five dollars though? I mean, 755 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: how big of a dent can you make in your 756 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 1: renovation or the swing set for five dollar? I mean, 757 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: did you really did it really help that much? 758 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,160 Speaker 3: No, we got fifty dollars on this cute little thing 759 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 3: that's going in a shadow box. That was the point, though, 760 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,400 Speaker 3: Like we really didn't want people to bring something. We 761 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 3: just wanted our friends and family and show up and 762 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,759 Speaker 3: spend time with us. Like that was the thing, Like 763 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,719 Speaker 3: if you have five bucks in your pocket, sure, but 764 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 3: like otherwise, please just come. That's kind of the concept. 765 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: And my only other thing I want to ask is 766 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,719 Speaker 1: what is the next birthday party going to look? 767 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 3: Like, oh gosh, for Hazel Page or for Sam because 768 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 3: his birthdays in June. 769 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, since we all know you, you like 770 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 1: the sun better than the daughter. Yeah, I like. 771 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 2: You got that weird relationship mom son, Yeah, we get it. 772 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,000 Speaker 3: I should probably I should probably start giving that some thought. 773 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 1: Uh, next month, really, what is the birthday party? What 774 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: are you going to do birthday party? What? What is 775 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,399 Speaker 1: it going to look like? What have you learned from 776 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,320 Speaker 1: this that you will take into the next birthday party experience? 777 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 4: Oh, the time was perfect for this age group. 778 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 3: Like everyone with little kids, like they're up that early, 779 00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,280 Speaker 3: and like, I have a cousin who has a daughter 780 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 3: and they live forty five minutes away. I didn't expect 781 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 3: them to come because that's a long way for them 782 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 3: to come at nine thirty in the morning. So when 783 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,160 Speaker 3: she was like, hey, we're that's a long I'm like, girl, 784 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting you to come. 785 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 4: Like, it's fine. 786 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 3: I invite the you know few friends that we have 787 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 3: in town who have kids to come over. So that's 788 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,359 Speaker 3: definitely what we're going to be doing. Maybe do ten 789 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,799 Speaker 3: o'clock as they get a little bit older, but just 790 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,680 Speaker 3: when they're out of diapers, you know, But the early 791 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,040 Speaker 3: time was awesome. The short time period was also awesome. 792 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 3: Like that hour and a half, it doesn't feel like 793 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 3: you're just kind of sitting around waiting for things to go. 794 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: But both left. They left when they were supposed to leave. 795 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, people, I mean his kids get crumpy around that time. 796 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,280 Speaker 1: The week was it. 797 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:29,000 Speaker 3: It was a Saturday, Saturday, but like it was nap time. 798 00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,320 Speaker 3: The little ones were like getting a little bit fussy, 799 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:34,360 Speaker 3: Get in the car, go home, nap, go on to 800 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 3: the rest of your day. 801 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: Are you going to continue the five or theme? 802 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 4: Possibly? I don't know. I think it was just for 803 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,120 Speaker 4: this one, probably for the next few. 804 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,160 Speaker 3: I will until they can specifically ask for things, you know, 805 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 3: but my kids don't. They don't need anything right now, 806 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,640 Speaker 3: so you know, I would say contribute to their five 807 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 3: twenty nine, but they get contributed to frequently. They've had 808 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 3: them since the week both of them were born. 809 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 4: They both have Saving Scouts. 810 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 1: And I mean, I'll help you with the swing set. 811 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,240 Speaker 3: Membership, science museum membership, the aquarium membership. 812 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,239 Speaker 4: We have all the things you. 813 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: Nine. I mean, the swing set is one thing, but 814 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: now you women contribute, it's more of a long term. 815 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,800 Speaker 3: People that told me to have people contribute to their 816 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 3: college funds or to donate to charity. 817 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,920 Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, I don't care. 818 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:33,719 Speaker 2: Well, we look forward to your next post, Rachel, And uh, 819 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:38,360 Speaker 2: congratulations on getting that post boosted and paying for the 820 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 2: party and then some That's smart parenting in my opinion. So, 821 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 2: and thank you for coming on the podcast. We appreciate it. 822 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 4: Oh, thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it. 823 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,720 Speaker 1: All Right, Rose, what do we do now? Sabine's twelfth 824 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: is coming up? No, I mean, what point do you 825 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 1: stop doing kids like Kitty birthday Kitty. 826 00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think once you get out of 827 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 2: elementary school. I think, you know, middle school, I think 828 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,880 Speaker 2: you can have sleepover. And that's where I graduated to 829 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,880 Speaker 2: that really quickly, and it was nice and easy, and 830 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 2: I was happy to have those elementary school years done with. 831 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 1: Okay, that's where we're going now, because it has Sabine's 832 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,320 Speaker 1: last couple of been wildly expensive. 833 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, New York City though, I mean. 834 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:17,040 Speaker 1: It has. 835 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,319 Speaker 2: We don't have backyards, you. 836 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 1: Don't have that. Yes, you can't just come home and collect. 837 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 1: You have to put that. You have to rent out 838 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,720 Speaker 1: of space, you have to do something. I did a 839 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 1: hotel suite in Times Square, which they loved. 840 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:27,879 Speaker 2: I'm sure they did. 841 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:29,839 Speaker 1: Did that one year where they could look out over 842 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,480 Speaker 1: Times Square and just be up all night. And the 843 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,520 Speaker 1: other one was renting out the movie theater. Yeah, which 844 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 1: was a great, great plan. You got them all in 845 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:37,879 Speaker 1: the confined space. But it's New York. 846 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's expensive. 847 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:39,400 Speaker 1: I know. 848 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,839 Speaker 2: I did the Bowling Alley party that was not cheap. 849 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 1: How many that was still? 850 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:50,120 Speaker 2: All the kids, yes, the whole thing. It's exhausting. So anyway, 851 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,759 Speaker 2: I applaud Rachel and thank you all for listening. And 852 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,880 Speaker 2: we love our kids, and we do love our kids 853 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,200 Speaker 2: a lot. And yeah, I'm paying for college right now, 854 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 2: so save your money now while you can. All right, everybody, 855 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,839 Speaker 2: thanks for listening. You can check us out on Instagram, Amy, 856 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,319 Speaker 2: and TJ Podcast. We have our individual accounts as well. 857 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 2: And thank you all for listening.