WEBVTT - Work in Progress: Chelsea Handler 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:16.079 Hi everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Hello friends, 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:20.000 I am so amped about today's guest. She is one 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:26.680 of my favorite comedians, authors, philosophers on life, and she 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:30.960 happens to be here today to talk about her seventh book, 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:34.440 I'll Have What She's Having. Today's guest is Chelsea Hammler. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:40.360 Chelsea has always been surprisingly vulnerable and incredibly outrageous, and 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.480 in this book she is capturing the antic, filled, exhilarating 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:48.479 and joyful life that she's led and that she's built. 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.280 It's definitely a life that makes me think, Yeah, I'll 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:58.880 have what she's having. From talking about family, loss, grief, relationships, 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:04.480 and child good she is really sharing how she's discovered 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.360 across this landscape, how to spend time with herself, how 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:11.039 to meditate, how to be open to love, and how 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.400 to end a relationship with dignity. She is a sister 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:16.440 to so many of us and to so many of 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.360 the women who rely on her, and I can't wait 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:23.280 to talk about the new book, turning fifty and her 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:38.880 palpable sense of joy. Hi guys, Hi, Kittie the duty. 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.400 I'm just up here icing my shoulder. 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:43.720 What happened? 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.319 A mess? I'm just a mess. 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:48.600 Did you have a ski fall? What's going on? 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.400 Oh No, I'm too good of a skier for something 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:51.680 like that. 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:56.480 Oh, I had an infection in my shoulder and I 0:01:56.520 --> 0:02:01.120 had it to get surgery line in my arm where 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:04.320 I get an infusion of antibiotics every twenty four hours 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:09.560 for four weeks. No, girl, Yeah, it's serious business over here, 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:12.720 serious disease, infectious business. 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:16.359 Well are they also giving you stem cells? Why does 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:19.160 your skin look like this? What's going on? You look gorgeous. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:22.040 I mean you always look gorgeous, but like you're extra glowy. 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.320 Probably because I've spent about two hours a day in 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:25.320 a hyperbaric chain. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.560 Okay, so that's what I need to start doing chamber glow. 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:30.960 Girl. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.440 Great, it's almost your birthday. 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:35.880 I know I'm gonna be the big one. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.880 I'm gonna I can't wait. I want to do Coast 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:39.919 to coast. I'm ready. 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:41.600 Oh my god, let's go. 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:47.040 I'm ready. We're gonna bring your your raging, dancing, cheering section. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:47.840 I can't wait. 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.840 I know I'm gonna celebrate this year. I'm just gonna 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.360 celebrate all year long. I mean, especially with the backup 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:57.559 we're living in you know, we've just got to look up. Okay, 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:02.040 look up, look for the bright the rainbows in the sky. 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.640 You have to. And you know, I started to realize 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:09.480 it's like I get so much creativity and joy and 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:15.640 thoughtfulness from our community, from friends, from cooking for people, 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:19.160 from gathering people. And I realized recently I was like, oh, 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.919 I'm going to have to start not just being a 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:26.920 sort of signal booster of the news like online. I 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:28.840 think I actually have to start. I don't even know 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:30.640 how to do this. I'm like, I'm not an influencer. 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:33.880 I think I need to bring like just some purely joyful, 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:39.120 dumb shit to Instagram just to help counterbalance the fire 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:43.240 hose of nightmarishness that we're all on the receiving end of. 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.560 It's pretty astounding what we're meant to, you know, deal 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:52.400 with and the amount of information coming at us. But yeah, 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.360 we got to focus on doubling down on love and 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.000 being there for the people that really need us the most, 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.800 and even for people who don't you know, people you 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.840 know and people you don't know, but just ye show 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:07.640 up in a different way, extra extra kind, extra love. 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.720 Yeah, it's like we can rage against the machine and 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.160 then we need to be very teddy bearish with each other. 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:17.640 Yeah, absolutely, you know about teddy bear. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:22.800 To me just a little. I want to bring some 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:26.000 people some joy and laughter today. And you know, because 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.000 you've been on the pod before, I love to talk 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.840 to people about you know, do you see versions of 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.880 who you are in your childhood self? You've answered that 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:37.160 question for me already, So what I would like is 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.120 for you to take us back to a childhood story. 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:42.640 But it was one I've had the good fortune of 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.080 seeing you tall a few times on stage, and it 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.080 is a highlight in the book for me as a 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.360 reader anyway, as well, when you talk about how you 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:55.000 realized that you wanted to make money, so lemonade stand 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:59.880 seemed obvious, and then you had a really, i would 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:04.600 revolutionarily entrepreneurial idea for a ten year old. Can you 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.160 tell the folks at home what you realized? 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.840 But yeah, I started a lemonade stand when I realized 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.000 my parents had no financial plan for themselves, never mind me. 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:16.039 And I was already kind of disgruntled when I was born, 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:18.799 seeing that there were so many other children in my family. 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.240 There were five other brothers and sisters, and I'm like 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.840 this is expensive, Like how can we even afford this? 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:26.200 And then I was like, oh my god, this is 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:26.719 my family. 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:28.720 I can't believe I'm stuck with these people. So as 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:30.200 early as I could, I started. 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.200 I was just trying constantly thinking of like schemes and 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:36.040 ways to make money or how I could employ myself 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.960 at and you know, as an underage entrepreneur. So I 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.400 lemonade stand like many people do you know lemonade business. 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:46.720 Obviously that's like, you know, low hanging fruit. And then 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:48.400 I just was like, this isn't a lot of money, 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:50.359 you know, Like I think we made like thirteen or 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.680 fourteen dollars in one day. And then I was like, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:54.840 you know what we should do is just amp this up. 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:58.040 There's an opportunity for a bigger profit of margin if 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:01.160 we made it a hard lemonade stand. Then I got 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.160 some gin, whiskey and tequila obviously from my parents' house, 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:07.240 and I listed another ten year old who lived on 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.960 ours who was renting in the neighborhood that we were in, 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:14.160 and I think his name was Nelson, Yeah, and I called, 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:15.039 I knocked on doors. 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:17.120 I'd be like, Hi, my name is Chelsea Handler. I'm 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:17.960 an entrepreneur. 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:20.720 I'm looking for another, you know, ten year old, eight 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:24.000 to ten year old to. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:23.920 Be in business with me. 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:27.039 I'd like to partner with someone, and brought Nelson out. 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:29.839 I started grooming Nelson right away. I brought him to 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:31.359 our lemonade stand. I'm like, do you know how to 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:33.440 make like a whiskey soda? Like you need to figure 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:35.360 this out because we're going to have lots of customers. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.159 And we made a killing. We made so much money 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.320 because the parents started drinking. I said, you can't serve 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.599 anyone alcohol that's under ten. You know, obviously I have 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:46.880 some standards. But we made a killing. And I remember 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:50.120 after the first week, like word had spread like wildfire, 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:53.200 like everyone was coming to our lemonade stand on Martha's Vineyard. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:55.560 And obviously now I know it's because we were the 0:06:55.560 --> 0:07:00.240 only hard lemonade stand and they and we made like 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:02.839 three hundred and fifty nine dollars I think was the 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:04.679 number that we made in our first week. 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:06.719 Nine dollars. 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:09.160 And then I gave Nelson his commission, which was three 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.520 dollars and fifty nine cents, and he was floored. 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.240 He was like thank you. 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:17.640 He's like wow, I feel like I'm like, you have Nelson, 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:19.960 Stick with me, Stick with me, and I'll show you 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:20.360 the way. 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:27.520 Incredible, incredible. I would imagine that half the people who 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.040 rolled up were really excited to get sassed by a 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:31.800 ten year old at the same time they were getting 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:32.360 a cocktail. 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:33.200 Yeah. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.080 I mean, I've had a lot of you know, piston 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.760 vinegar that I was spewing from a very young age. 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.880 Even as a very young child, even when I was 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.720 two and three years old, I felt like a woman, 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.520 like I felt like a woman like I wanted to be. 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:50.040 I wanted a briefcase, I wanted a suit, I wanted. 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.400 Heels, and I wanted wanted a business, like I just 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.880 wanted to own a business. And I remember being so 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:59.920 frustrated being a child. I just wanted to grow up, 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:02.760 Like I just I hated the idea of being so 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.560 dependent and on my parents and being so tired to them, 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:08.400 and and I. 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:11.160 Just I just could not wait. I knew that I 0:08:11.240 --> 0:08:13.600 knew better, you know what I mean, like worse. You know, 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.240 if I was we're the one in charge of finances, 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:18.880 we would be fine. So like I just wanted to 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:20.640 start that as quickly as possible. 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.880 I love it. I feel like our little kid selves 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:26.240 would have been friends. I did the same thing, like 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:28.040 by the time I was eight, I looked at my 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.040 parents and I was like, I love you both. You're 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:34.679 fucking lunatics. I'm I got to make other plans, Like 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:38.040 I just I don't know. I think there's something about 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.680 some little girls that come into the world like grown ups, 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.240 and I'm glad that so many of us have found 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:45.680 each other. 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:50.240 Yeah, that's for sure. I agree with that. 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.560 And I think that there are so many like minded 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:57.400 so many more like minded people, you know. That's what 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:00.760 LA and New York and places like where we live are, 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:03.000 you know, a melting pot of so many different types 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:03.480 of people. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:09.120 But yeah, I take a lot of pride, and. 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.680 It makes me very happy, I guess, less prideful, more 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.080 happy to be connecting with like like, for instance, so 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.120 many other women who don't want to be mothers or 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:22.400 don't want to be who really don't even see that 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:24.000 as like part of their future. 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.400 It's like so freshing to hear so many people talking 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.080 about that, you know, I love that. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.240 It's like when you speak up about something and all 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.120 of a sudden you start to hear other people that 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.440 feel the same way about something. It's quite encouraging, you know, 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:41.600 just to realize the non aloneness of your opinion. 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:45.040 Yes, well, and especially because I think for women there's 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:48.440 been this sort of prescriptive this is what your joy 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:52.480 will look like list, And I mean, I know for me, 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:56.240 even it's almost two years ago now, like finally being like, 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.120 I don't I got I think I have to say 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.840 this out loud, like I did the list and I'm 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:05.320 so unhappy. And then the number of women I knew 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.320 from every walk of life that were like, oh me too, 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.080 Oh me too, me too. Did you hear so and 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.000 so is going through this? You should call her? Let 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:13.640 me put you on a text with my friend who's 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:18.599 also and boom, Like, you have such a huge community, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:23.360 and sometimes I think the barrier to entry is just 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:26.800 that you haven't said what you need or what you're 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:30.600 afraid of or what you're experiencing out loud. In the 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.720 minute you do, it's like all the barriers evaporate. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:36.280 Yeah. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:40.760 Yeah, it's absolutely there's always another person or another group 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:43.280 of people that are going through whatever you're going through. 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.520 And that's something that women can't hear enough because people 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:48.600 feel so alone, you know, when they feel like, oh, 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:50.960 they're not worthy, or they're not doing this right, or 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.280 it's like and we all feel that way, even the 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.360 most confident people in the world feel that way. So 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.680 it's nice to mind each other that there isn't you know, 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:03.680 there's always a community for anything, even if stuck on toes, 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:05.120 there's a community. 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:05.360 For that too. 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.800 Listen, we don't kink shame here. 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:10.880 No, no kink shaming. 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.680 Speaking of it's the most perfect segue for the title 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:16.680 of your book, because as soon as I saw you 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.400 were going to call it, I'll have what she's having, 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:22.199 I thought, yes, she is, And it's going to come 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:26.720 out on your fiftieth birthday. And it really feels like 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:31.280 a love letter to yourself and to so many women. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.320 I mean, I feel it as a member of your community. 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.959 I'm sure so many readers who don't know you personally 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.640 but have followed you for so long will feel that. 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:42.959 Is it also a little bit of like a birthday 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:44.760 present to yourself this one. 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.040 Well, it's becoming that way, you know. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.920 I didn't on it publishing it on my birthday, but 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:52.480 when we were going over dates and my birthday was 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:54.440 one of those dates, I thought, Okay, I could have 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:56.439 like two minds about this. I could be like, no, 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.120 I'm not going to let I'm not going to work 0:11:58.120 --> 0:11:59.960 on my birthday, or I'm not gonna let my birthday 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.920 be overshadowed by because it's such a big birthday, like 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.000 be overshadowed by work. And then I was like, no, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.600 but this is so me. Work and my life are 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:12.000 always kind of intertwined. I'm they're always mixed. It's not 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:15.240 like I'm a private person or I'm you know, precious 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.959 about my personal life. I've never been that way. I'm 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.520 always kind of feeding it up. So it is kind 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.440 of turned into a birthday present for myself because it's 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:30.400 my seventh book. I I am really in the mode 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:34.839 of really injecting optimism into other women and confidence. Who 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.280 are always asking me about my confidence, and it's like, 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.400 I don't know where my confidence comes from. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.079 All I know is that it can be infectious. 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.760 And like, when I'm confident people, I feel even more confident. 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:47.920 And when I'm around people who are not confident, I 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.880 want to inject them with like this. I want the 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:54.920 substance for confidence for girls, you know, I want. 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:56.840 Everyone to know like you can. 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.880 It's kind of a practice and to actually, really it's 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.520 just so much more optimistic to be confident and not 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:04.559 to be arrogant. 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.240 That's a separate thing, but confidence is really just. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:12.040 Knowing who you are and not being apologetic for it, 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.360 and knowing that you're a good person. I think so 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.000 many times in our lives we question whether or not 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:22.040 we're good people just because we're having negative thoughts about 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:27.280 a situation or about another person or seditive or you know, 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:31.840 and I feel like that kind of I know, for me, 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:33.600 I'm always like, oh God, am I a bad person 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.680 for thinking that. It's like, no, you're not a bad 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:38.199 You're only a bad person if you act on those feelings. 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:42.200 Of course, we're all have emotions that run across the 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:48.760 human spectrum, jealousy, of envy, of disdain and love and 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.880 all of everything that comes in between. But it's good 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:56.079 to embrace those feelings, understand them, acknowledge them, and then 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:59.520 like you know, move forward because and I think the 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.440 thing that's lacking, so you know, the most in our 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:07.040 world is confidence. Yeah, and I think as we've just 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:12.000 been targeted to like almost have have that taken from us. 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:17.720 Yeah, Well, in this weird way, we've conflated confidence and conceit. 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.120 And it's like, yeah, don't be a conceited asshole, But 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:25.440 you deserve to be confident. You deserve to be proud 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.640 of yourself. Do you need to walk through the world 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:31.040 with pridefulness being used as like a as a club 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.320 to hit other people with. No, but you deserve to 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.320 be proud of yourself. And I think I think this 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:41.400 idea of of how, oh we have to renounce anything 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:45.560 that you know could possibly be seen as egotistical, it 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:48.240 really just feels like a really insidious way to strip 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:53.000 women of their confidence, of their willingness to celebrate themselves, 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:56.600 to keep them you know, small or afraid. And it's like, 0:14:57.000 --> 0:14:59.120 we don't need to be wasting any more time doing 0:14:59.160 --> 0:14:59.520 any of that. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.840 Yeah, no, I agree, like that, that's out the window. 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.680 Okay, we need to be building blocks and building back 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:06.640 better is what we need. 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:10.960 Yeah, yes, building bitches back better. 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:12.920 Building bitches back better. I like that. 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:21.480 And now for our sponsors, I love that you've been 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:26.160 so frank and you said you're not precious about your 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.120 personal life, but you know, it's a weird thing to 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.160 be a person in the public eye and to have 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.560 when you try to keep things private for yourself. They 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.960 kind of can often get eaten up when you share things. 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:39.840 People are like, no one was asking. It's like, no 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:41.400 matter what you do, somebody's going to tell you do 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:45.720 it wrong, which might just be again being women. But 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:51.160 you seem to have found this really cool flow in 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:54.840 your life where you're really willing to tell it like 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:57.000 it is. You're willing to kind of pull the lid 0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:02.640 off the lessons, you know, admit the hard stuff, talk 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.840 about what's great, and you really are doing it, as 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:10.760 you said a few minutes ago, with this incredible I 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.560 don't even want to call it energy. It's like the 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:16.600 whole thing is really fueled on this positivity that you found, 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:21.600 and I'm inspired by that point blank period. And then 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:25.360 there's the other layer of you're also doing this entering 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:29.880 fifty when so many women are essentially, you know, whisper 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.880 warned that they're going to become irrelevant, and it's like 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:38.920 you're hotter, funner, more relevant than ever. I Do you 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:45.520 love the way this whole phase feels because you're booking 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:49.960 every tradition in the book, or does it also just 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.520 feel sort of silly that people ask you questions like 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:54.320 this in the first place, because what the fuck are 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.760 these traditions and where did they come from. 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.040 I mean, I will say that I feel very and 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.120 I talk about this in the book. I feel very 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:06.040 happy that I had enough belief in myself that I 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:10.040 did not listen to other people steering me in the 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:10.719 wrong direction. 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.520 Yeah, many times in my life where I got advice or. 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:17.280 Was told not to do something. I don't do that, 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:20.000 don't do this, don't do that. And I'm not very 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.679 good at, you know, taking direction and listening to other people, 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.520 especially when they're men obviously telling me. 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.760 What to do. It's like, you're not in a position 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:29.760 to tell me what to do. 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.800 And it's kind of been my vibe the whole way, 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:38.200 you know, throughout my life. When I started my career, 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.480 it wasn't like, oh, it wasn't the conversations we're having 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:45.560 now and understand, you know, the impact of white male 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:48.680 supremacy that it has on you know, all of us, 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.960 and the kind of trickle down effect and how well 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:53.399 I was kind of blinded. 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:54.520 I had blinders on. 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.880 I was just like, I'm going after what I want. 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.760 It doesn't matter if I'm a man, woman, child, whatever, 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:03.800 I'm doing this and I was just so like intent 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.320 and focused on what I was doing and having a 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:10.000 good time and having like this party of a TV show. 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.000 And I wanted to have all my friends on and 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:12.840 that's what I did. 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.680 And I didn't really notice, you know a lot of 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.919 the things that we're talking about now that are so 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:23.480 front and center right till they started happening, that until 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:26.680 the conversation started flowing. Like I remember, my friends would 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.160 be like, you know, once you hit forty, you're never 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:29.959 going to work again. And this was like twenty years ago. 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.320 I'm like, that's a terrible attitude, and they're like, well, 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:34.119 it's not an attitude, it's a reality. I'm like, it 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.440 doesn't have to be your reality. That's just that can 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:39.720 be your reality, or you can just decide you're not 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.320 going to you know, that's not going to be the 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.240 way that you're going to operate. So I always kind 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.439 of had that kind of attitude. But that is pretty 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:50.320 naive because just because something doesn't happen to you or 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:55.000 impact you directly, you have to be conscientious and conscious 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:56.919 of the fact that it is happening to millions of 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.160 women in the world all the time, every single day, 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:05.879 in all mediums of business and entertainment and whatever you 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:07.440 do in the world, it's male dominated. 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:12.080 Everything is except for women's soccer, you know. 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:17.200 So I think, like I think that I'm very I'm 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:20.360 grateful that I didn't allow myself to be pushed around 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.879 and that I didn't allow myself Like even when I 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.199 bought my house in my Orca, I remember, and I 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.680 put this in the book because like my business manager 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:29.240 was a guy. 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:30.800 My manager was a guy. 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:32.760 There were like three other men in my life who 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.800 were like, that's a terrible business decision, that's way too 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:35.320 much money. 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:35.879 Don't do that. 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:40.000 The Spanish economy is terrible. And I remember hearing their 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:43.520 advice one after another after another, and after the sixth one, 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.560 I'm like, I've never been more convinced to do something 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:47.159 than I am. 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:48.240 To buy the class in Spain. 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:52.760 Like your negative attitudes have convinced me that I definitely 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:57.639 must do it. And once again it turned into a huge, huge, 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:03.640 positive life decision. Book have given so many people great times, 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:08.080 great vacations. I've provided so many people with like vacations 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:09.120 of a lifetime at that house. 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:10.639 I've written two books in that house. 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:13.280 The Spanish economy went through the roof the year after 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:16.480 I bought it, So I just I just always go 0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:19.800 back to that when I'm like, I'm not an indecisive person, 0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:23.760 but ever I am on the fence about something I 0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:29.199 know now, think like, sit with yourself, be quiet and understand, like, 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:30.760 what is the answer right now? 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:32.720 Really? What is the truth? 0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:37.600 What is because only only each of us know what 0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:38.919 is right for each of us. 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:41.919 Nobody else who can give you that information. 0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:45.639 So the closer you get to a dialogue with yourself 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.160 and an understanding and the knowing that all women are 0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:53.199 talking about, the better, like the better your life is 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:53.760