WEBVTT - Sam M.'s Shot At Redemption! 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:04.440 Hey, everyone, welcome back to bet your Happy Hour. I'm Joe, 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:08.319 I'm Serena, and we are here with Sam m from 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:13.480 Gen Season. He was just announced on the cast of Paradise. Sam, 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:14.880 Welcome to the podcast. 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.160 Hey, thanks for having me. I appreciate it, of course. 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:19.680 Of course. Where are you located? 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:22.680 Located in Merle's Inlet, South Carolina. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.320 It's probably fifteen minutes south of Myrtle Beach. 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:29.480 Okay, how far is after we got married in Charleston? 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:31.640 Okay, all right, so probably an hour and a half 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:32.360 from Charleston. 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.840 Yeah, how hot is it over there? Right now? 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:38.360 It's hot. We've had a lot of rain recently, probably 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:38.960 last two weeks. 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.920 I think we've had more rain than I've seen probably 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:45.040 the last two years. So it's, uh, whenever the song 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.200 comes out, the humidity is way up, so it's we're 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:49.080 feeling it over here. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.200 Nice. You what do you do for a living? 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:57.040 So I'm a general contractor, mainly residential, so we were 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:00.880 home builders out here, and yeah, Mark market's good. 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:02.400 We stay pretty busy doing that. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:03.480 Nice. 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:05.640 Do you have like a busy season, like a summer 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:07.080 busier for you? 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:11.800 Guys? Honestly, there's no such thing as a slow season 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.319 with us. I think there's a lot of builders in 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:16.920 our area, and you just try and find the right 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:18.920 one that you can get in then and get in with. 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.880 And then whenever you do that, you're You're never slow. 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:23.880 There's always something that needs to be done around here. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.360 Are there hurricanes by you? 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:28.720 There are there's They're not as bad. 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:32.120 Honestly, Charleston gets them worse than us by the just 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.520 the way that the state curves in. Usually Charleston catches 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:37.640 the brunt of it and then by the time it 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:39.880 gets to us, it's just the backlash of it, which 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.319 can be tough. But I think we're due for a 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.080 pretty bad hurricane season this year. 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:47.560 Do you when you when it comes to building, do 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.760 you have to obviously you have to keep that in mind. 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.760 Eithery're like do you use like I don't know, like 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:54.600 special what what are you happening at? 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.400 Joe has never built anything in his life, Like he 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.559 can't even like hang something on the law. 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:05.520 False information. 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:09.040 I don't buy it. I don't know there's a code. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:10.959 So depending on what we're doing, if we're just doing 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.880 handyman stuff, then there's no inspector or inspection required. 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:16.960 But usually with the stuff that we do. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.600 There's a counting inspector that comes out and make sure 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:22.200 that everything is is up to date. That way, we're 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.160 not getting you know, we're not getting in trouble and 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:27.359 they're not getting in trouble either, So it got it all. 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:28.920 Works all right. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.360 Let's uh, we'll pivot to is this your Is this 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:32.800 your first podcast? 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:38.000 First podcast? Yeah, I appreciate it. I feel honored. 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.399 Nice. Nice, Okay, so we're gonna pivot to The Bachelor. 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:44.720 You're at You were on gen season. We didn't get 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:46.280 a chance to talk to you, so how did you 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.280 How did you make it on to that first season? 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.840 Yeah? That was It was kind of crazy. Actually. 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.440 I think there was a moment after I had come home. 0:02:57.520 --> 0:02:59.960 It was late one night and I saw something pop 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.000 up on Instagram. I saw it and I thought this 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:04.400 would be kind of wild right here. And then I 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.240 did it, and I honestly forgot all about it. And 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:09.200 then it was probably a month later somebody from casting 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.280 reached out to me and they said, hey, what do 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:13.920 you think about doing an interview? And I thought it 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:17.680 was a joke actually, And a few months later I 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:21.079 ended up on the show and out in LA and here. 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:22.400 We are nice. 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:28.919 Okay, so you are I would. I mean, I think 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:30.680 it's safe to say you were kind of the villain 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.960 of your season up until the very end. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.240 I think it's very safe to say yeah, yeah, I 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:37.920 think it's safe to say that yeah. 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:40.720 Uh we yeah, we recapped the show. I feel like 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:42.480 we try to be fair and call it how it is. 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:45.960 I don't remember what we said about you. I don't 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.360 think we went in too hard, but if we did, 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:53.840 you know, I apologize. I do feel like there is 0:03:55.280 --> 0:04:00.520 like people usually are never as bad as they may 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:04.160 come across on reality TV. So when your name got 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.320 mentioned for Paradise is like, I was like, that totally 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.040 makes sense, Like he's going to get a redemption story. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:13.360 But I guess on Gen season what went wrong. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.200 I think a few things went wrong, and I think 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:23.839 starting with Jen and I that point, I was probably 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.839 eight months out of a failed engagement, and you don't 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.560 understand kind of the things. I don't think I processed 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.400 the situation probably the best way that I should have. 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:37.120 I kind of just I'm one of those guys that 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.000 you get knocked down and you just get back up, 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.120 and you keep going, and you keep pushing and I 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:43.520 don't think I ever took the time to really process 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:47.040 the pain that came with that. So whenever I got 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:49.640 stuck into a position of feeling those same feelings that 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:51.560 I had once felt before, I felt like I was 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:55.280 constantly reminded of the just the turmoil and. 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:56.799 Everything that had happened. 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.600 So recently, and it really just allowed, or it didn't 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:01.440 allow me to be vulnerable in the way that I 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.320 wish I could have been in that moment, and even 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.240 in a few other moments, I think I was looking 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.440 for validation. 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:10.880 I was looking for credibility. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:12.599 I wanted it to be something that I knew if 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.680 I put my heart out there that she would pick 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:15.040 it up. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:19.000 And ultimately, that's not the love that I actually believe. 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:21.560 In, you know, I believe in being completely vulnerable, and 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:24.919 I think that's the that's the most special thing about 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:28.839 a relationship. So I think just being unable to see 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:31.240 that in the moment and in that environment is chaotic 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:35.200 and as stressful as it is. Uh. Yeah, I fell 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.360 super short with her towards the end of it all. 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:43.240 Everything else, I think, I'm so I'm one of five. 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.200 I've got four siblings, I've got two sisters, two brothers. 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.640 I'm the oldest, the oldest boy, and I think there's 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:53.160 just a level of protection that's kind of it's just 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:55.440 kind of been instilled in me from the you know, 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.359 from the very start of life with me. So I 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:02.559 think out there it's not about making friends. But also, 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.080 as you guys both know, in that environment, as crazy 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.240 as it is, and no outside communication with anybody, you 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:10.720 kind of at least for me, I had to make 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.520 friends with somebody to be able to try and I 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:17.160 think kind of decompress. It was a lot more stress 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:19.960 than I had anticipated. Having a mic on the entire 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:21.880 time and cameras in front of your face. You almost 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.440 feel like you couldn't even breathe to a certain extent 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:27.240 without somebody, you know, somebody looking right over your shoulder. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.560 So I think with all of that, I made friends 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.039 out there, and just so having the friends that I 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:36.200 made were like with. 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:39.800 With Aaron, that was that was a tough one. 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.000 He I think the way that he went about some 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.640 things I didn't agree with. But that was also my 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.680 first roommate, so I understood his heart and where he 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:49.240 was at, and I knew that he was trying to 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.320 do the good thing or do the right thing and 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.320 just didn't have the I just don't think the way 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:57.360 that he went about of it, the way he went 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:01.440 about it was necessarily correct, and I just wanted him 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.720 to know, like, Hey, you know, I'm with you. 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:04.480 I've got your. 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:08.040 Back, and in the moment, you don't know what all 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.680 that's going to look like and how it's all going 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:10.840 to unfold on TV. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:12.800 And kind of the same thing with Thomas. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:15.640 I know that I looked like the ring leader in 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:17.800 it all, but really Thomas had said something to me 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:21.400 the following week, which was, hey, have my back, And 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.520 I think walking through the amount of life that I 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:26.960 have that I've been in situations where people didn't have 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:29.560 my back. So it's kind of one of those things 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:31.680 that I do take over the top when somebody says 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:34.120 that to me, I want them to know like, Hey, 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:38.000 whatever this looks like, whatever this might bring, I've got you. 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:42.000 And ultimately that's kind of what stuck me, you know, 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.320 in the situation that it did, And it doesn't make 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:48.080 it doesn't make every action that I made correct, because 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:50.320 it definitely was, and I think my delivery can be 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.920 a bit abrasive and it just comes really from a 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.160 level of protection with with a lot of people and 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.760 a lot of people that I care about, and being 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.840 able to see that back on TV was something that 0:07:59.880 --> 0:08:03.040 I I could really take a step back from and think, Okay, 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.320 I need to I need to change the change the 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.440 delivery on all of that. 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:08.960 Right there. 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:11.800 Yeah, I was going to ask, where do you think 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.600 as a as a person and a future partner? Where 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.360 you have grown since Gen season? 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:23.280 So I think first and foremost, I've just allowed myself 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:27.640 to process the pain from my past relationship with my 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:31.160 ex fiance. I think I was able to just understand 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:32.840 that sometimes that's just the way the life. 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.880 Goes, and it's not fair and it's not right. 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.640 But you've got to you've got to maneuver through that 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.880 because I don't ever want to bleed on somebody that 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:44.959 didn't cut me. And that's an area that I felt 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.920 like I had and you know, in my future after that, 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.800 right there was just not being able to process my 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.199 not not even not being able to process my emotions, 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:56.640 just being so afraid to talk about them and let 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.959 people really get close to me, and fear of being hurt, 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.480 and then understanding that like the love that I want 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:06.520 is you know, it's not that, and I can't play 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:09.800 that safe card with everybody, and one day somebody will 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:13.000 pick up what I put down, and whenever that time comes, 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.000 then whether I get my heart broke one time or 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.040 a hundred times, it all makes sense. 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:27.320 One day, did you I don't. I don't remember exactly. 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.600 But did you tell Jen that you loved her or 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:30.679 you were falling in love with her? 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:31.760 Yes? I did? 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:34.319 Do you do you? Do you think those feelings were 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:35.960 real or do you think you were caught up in 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:36.400 the moment. 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:38.839 No, I don't think I was caught up in the moment. 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:43.240 I think from everybody else's eyes, it definitely looks like that, 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:44.079 and I understand it. 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:47.240 I don't. I don't try and argue with anybody about that. 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:49.760 I think our relationship was a lot different than what 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:54.520 anybody saw, and I do think the environment is definitely 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:57.400 everything's very enhanced, and I think it's. 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:58.120 A little bit of both. 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.480 But I think where I was at I was more 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:02.920 in love with the fact of the way that she 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:05.520 chose me, and I think the way that she looked 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:08.000 me was something that I always paid attention to, which 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:12.160 is something that I've always longed for, and so I 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:14.160 think a little bit of both. The feelings were definitely 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:20.880 real in a very enhanced situation and and yeah, so 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:22.160 it's probably a little bit of both. 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:29.360 There had to have been some satisfaction with how everything 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.960 played out in regards to your feud on camera with 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:38.600 Devin and then his sort of post season downfall. 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:46.160 Yeah, you know, everything comes what. 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:49.320 Shore we watching, I feel like it's like a game 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:49.840 of throne. 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:56.880 You know, everything comes with the cost, And even for me, 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:01.320 I think not necessarily stupid down to his level. I 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:03.280 don't think a lot of people got to see the 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:07.280 way that why I reacted the way that I did, 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.560 But everything comes with a cost, and ultimately it's easy 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.040 to see that. Yeah, I could find satisfaction in it. 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.880 But even though the Jen and I didn't end on 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:18.240 great terms, for her to have to go through that, like, 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:19.920 I know what that's like. I know what it's like 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.720 for somebody to say all those things and then the 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:26.400 moment gets there and they're gone and it's it's not important. 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.959 So I think that's another thing that validated my feelings 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:33.920 towards her, was that the satisfaction wasn't what everybody expected 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:34.360 it to be. 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.199 From my end, it was really more. 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:38.480 I think I had a little bit more compassion with 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.560 it because I just felt so sorry for her, because 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.640 I remember myself in that moment, you know, in a 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.719 moment very similar to that of just things not adding up, 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.520 and that was I just don't wish that upon anybody. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.839 And even like I said, even though we ended the 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.760 way that we did, I think the truth always comes 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.920 to always comes to light. You can hide hide it 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.320 for as long as you want, but it always comes 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.280 full swing. And unfortunately it did, and it you know, 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:03.360 it hurt her as well. 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.360 Have you Have you spoken to Jen since your season? 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:11.240 I sent her a message after AFR and just told 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.640 her like, hey, you know, I know that we didn't 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:17.200 end on good terms, but you know, I just feel really, 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:18.880 you know, I feel awful for you and I hate 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:20.280 that you had to go through that, and to go 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.440 through that on live television. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:26.040 Uh, and really just had no choice. Was there's a 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:26.960 level of. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.760 Just helplessness out there and you could see it on 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.760 her face. I think the whole world saw it. And 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:35.600 for me, who doesn't, you know, I did know her. 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:37.679 That sucks. 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:39.160 I don't I don't want to see that from anybody, 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.839 no matter what our situation might look like I just 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:42.560 don't wish. 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:43.200 That upon anybody. 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:44.800 Did you respond? 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:50.040 She did. She responded a few weeks later, and she 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:50.480 left you. 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:52.920 She left you read for a for a few weeks. 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:54.920 She went on vile files. 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.880 I feel like in this world there's nothing that I 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:02.760 can really stay or do. Everything comes across is very disingenuous. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.800 And I think before she ever even responded to me, 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:08.199 she went on bile files and I think tried to 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.640 take a crack at me for it, and and really 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:14.599 I just came from a place of like just sincerity. 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.520 I felt awful for it, but it's it's the way 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:20.240 the things go. But she ended up responding. 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:21.320 She just said, thank. 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:24.199 You, sorry, I've been busy with all this, which I'm 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:26.800 sure there's a there's a level of truth there, and 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.679 I think there's also a level of like she probably 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.600 saw my message like, yeah, I'm not responding to this 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:31.319 guy right here. 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.880 So you know, I get it. I see it for 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:34.480 what it is. 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.080 Nice. Well, I mean you got you definitely seem like 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:39.720 you have a good head on your shoulders. I know 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.080 it's it's we all go on reality all of us 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.199 have been on reality TV. You know, I didn't experience 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.560 the level of hatred that I'm sure you did, like 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:53.880 you definitely in that, but it's true, like people, I 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:59.640 don't I don't think people realize the volume of people 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:02.320 that are giving you hate all at once. And it's 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.440 tens of thousands of people that I'm sure are sending 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.000 you d ms that are all like you know, and 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:08.880 I'm sure I'm sure you get some love, but a 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.040 lot of them are mean and just like it's brutal. 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.640 So then, you know, you really it would make it 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.280 make wouldn't make anyone not want to go back? Right? 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:17.120 Yeah? 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:21.480 Why did you make the decision to come back on Paradise? 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.680 I think I think I owed it first and foremost 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:27.880 to my to my family and my friends. 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:32.320 I owed it to my community and also owed it 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:32.960 to myself. 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.200 That was it wasn't easy, and it wasn't easy for me, 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:40.120 but it really wasn't easy for my family either to 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.400 listen to what I had to say whenever I first 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:44.760 got back, and then to watch it all unfold on TV. 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:50.200 You know, I'm sitting there like, holy shit, I don't know. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.080 I don't know what to do right now. So I 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:56.360 think to be able to to be able to watch that. 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.880 It definitely hurt. It hurt watching my mom, you know, 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:02.200 lose sleep at night, my brother in law loose sleep overnight. 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:05.840 We're the type of people that are very protective. We 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.200 all know who we are, we all know where we 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.040 come from. I think just to watch it all get 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:14.160 destroyed on TV was it was super tough and you 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.280 don't know what you don't know, and the filming aspect 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:18.720 of it was a lot of fun. And that's what 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.640 I think I felt bad for was that nobody else 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.320 but me got to experience that. All they got to 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.840 experience was the hate and the backlash on it. And 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.400 my friends and my family they went to war for 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:32.120 me the same way that I would do for them, 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:33.560 and that's just kind of the way that we move 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.480 out here. You know, we'll fight first and then ask 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:40.000 questions later. And it doesn't make it. It doesn't mean that 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.960 everything I did was justifiable or anything like that, but 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:46.800 in that moment, they did their best and they did 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.120 everything they could to make sure that they knew that 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.560 they were in my corner. So I think, coming back 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.960 to it all, I was definitely kind of betting on 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:59.080 myself a little bit, and I still am. Everybody did 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.280 not like the idea of me going back, and I 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.040 really didn't even make a decision until three days before 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.960 I flew back out to Costa Rica, just because of 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:11.880 there's a level in which that I can control only 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.680 so much of the way that things will be portrayed 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:19.440 out there. And I think putting my faith and trust 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:24.680 into the hands of the same people that kind of 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.760 twisted some things last season was something that I just 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:30.360 I had a tough it was a tough time trying 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.240 to swallow that pill right there. But I went back 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.760 out there bet on myself, and I think I did 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:38.960 a good job. I think I did, you know, I 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.160 think I did what not necessarily what I even accomplished 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.640 to do. I just feel like this will be a 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.760 time that America gets to see the person that I 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:49.160 actually am and not what they think they know. 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:53.680 What was your goal going into Paradise. Did you have 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:56.760 like a plan or something you were like, I want 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.240 to do this differently this time, or. 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.040 Find My goal was to find find that person. 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.119 There were some people that I was really excited to 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:10.880 or that you know, I was really excited to meet 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.880 on Paradise, and I think that's where my head had 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:18.000 to be at first, and then you know, whatever happens 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.199 from there. I can also control the you know, control 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:22.240 my emotions. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:22.560 A little bit more. 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.040 And and Paradise, as you guys both know, it's it's 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.040 a different it's a different vibe out there. You're not 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:32.800 chained down, you're not forced to be put in these environments. 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:34.960 And I think that's what was so difficult for me 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.120 to first go around, was that I couldn't remove myself 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.200 from the situation, which is what I was so used 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.280 to doing. If there was ever any conflict, I just 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:45.240 wouldn't deal with it, and I could leave it, I 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.760 could leave it all. And on the Bachelorette they stick 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.120 it right in front of your face and you can 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:53.119 only do so much out of there. So with Paradise 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.919 also too, you know, the person that you're in a 0:17:56.040 --> 0:18:00.439 relationship with, that's your sole priority, and is long is 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.520 that she feels you the same way that you feel her, 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:07.480 and there's really nothing, there's really nothing to worry about. 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.840 And so yeah, I think first and foremost was meeting 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.280 the people that I wanted to meet, and then second 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:18.199 was remembering that my friends and family back home they 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:21.280 didn't support me going back out here. I just wanted 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.520 to make sure that I did my best to make 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:24.880 things a little bit easier on them. 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:34.160 You know, this next go round. 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.160 Who was on your list of people that you were 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:36.919 interested in meeting? 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:42.119 Okay, so there was only one and it was Ali 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:43.920 Go from Grant season. 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:46.119 Okay, nice. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:52.120 After the season on the Bachelorette, I didn't reach out 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:55.600 to anybody because you don't know what people think about you. 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.439 Some people can see reality TV, and there's a lot 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.600 of people that can't see passing. 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:02.240 I think this guy's the world's biggest piece of shit. 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:05.440 And and I'm like, if I saw what I saw 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:07.679 on TV, I would agree with you. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:10.280 I understand it. But that's also not me. 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:12.880