Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaiser podcastser.
Speaker 2: Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's the
Speaker 2: Nicky Laser Podcast. I'm in Los Angeles. Uh still, I
Speaker 2: am joined by three of my favorite people of all time.
Speaker 1: Brian Franngie is here.
Speaker 3: Hey, Brian, Hello, We're gonna we should clap for everybody,
Speaker 3: just like they do on the Pat McAfee show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I just.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm wearing all this cold skiers. That's so fun,
Speaker 3: all of you being on the Pat McAfee.
Speaker 1: It was so fun.
Speaker 2: We'll talk about it because it came out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: and it only came out because I reached out to
Speaker 2: you guys. And then Chris Convey is here, Welcome back. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Chris conby everyone, and really that's a good, fun.
Speaker 3: Fun And then Chris gets applause.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does feel good. And then Andrew Colin. Everyone
Speaker 2: back to the show. Andrew Colin, welcome.
Speaker 4: Back, good to be back. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I reached out to you guys because I was like,
Speaker 2: I forget who said it to me. But oh, I
Speaker 2: was at a podcast yesterday. We're here to help. Maybe
Speaker 2: it was them. I forget who I apologized whoever told
Speaker 2: me like, you need to like go hard in the
Speaker 2: sports world. What do all the sports shows?
Speaker 1: I think it was.
Speaker 2: Joe Jack Johnson, not Jack Johnson. What's his name over there,
Speaker 2: Jake Johnson.
Speaker 1: So sorry, Jake.
Speaker 2: I love you so much. I've never loved anyone more
Speaker 2: than Jake Johnson. I've been talking about him all like,
Speaker 2: I can't get over how great he is. But he
Speaker 2: was like, you need to spin this into something bigger,
Speaker 2: like you, you got to capitalize on this, get the
Speaker 2: word out on all the sports shows. So I texted
Speaker 2: all of you being like, what are the shows I
Speaker 2: should do? And Pat McAfee show is the one? Number
Speaker 2: one you guys each all of you said number one.
Speaker 5: I knew those guys would love you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 5: it was.
Speaker 2: It was so much fun and I just did it
Speaker 2: and they had me on. You always know it's a
Speaker 2: good segment when they have you planned before they go
Speaker 2: it'll be a fifteen minute segment and then you're looking
Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, it's been.
Speaker 3: Thirty for over thirty minutes.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 3: I was sitting outside this building just like, uh, just
Speaker 3: watching it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Nice. Yeah, it was really fun. And and then you
Speaker 1: buzzed in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the end of the story that I
Speaker 2: have nothing more to say than you got in the building.
Speaker 3: Walk up the stairs, two flights.
Speaker 1: Okay, nice.
Speaker 5: You killed it, man, Yeah, you killed it on that.
Speaker 1: But you guys all helped me.
Speaker 2: I mean, I was Brian texted me a slew of
Speaker 2: things that I should talk about because you were a
Speaker 2: fan of the show.
Speaker 3: And I mean, I love Pat McAfee, I love the cults.
Speaker 3: I love Pat McAfee. I'm so proud that Pat McAfee
Speaker 3: is like the number one sports analysts in the world
Speaker 3: and he was a cult.
Speaker 2: Oh he's so I mean, I just had that conversation
Speaker 2: with him, and he was so fun and easy to
Speaker 2: talk to.
Speaker 3: You were amazing on it. It was perfect. You set
Speaker 3: the perfect tone. You told a bunch of jokes. They
Speaker 3: were laughing, and it's perfect for that show, like they
Speaker 3: have a bunch of you know, hockey analysts, and then
Speaker 3: general manager. You you followed a general manager who also
Speaker 3: was a fan of your by the way, Oh really yeah,
Speaker 3: and the same team, the Bucks.
Speaker 1: Well, I gotta come down Florida. Maybe that's my team too.
Speaker 2: I got to pick a team, so that that. And
Speaker 2: then Andrew this morning was texting me a ton of jokes.
Speaker 2: We were like, maybe gonna roast Pat a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you had some funny ones. I don't even want to
Speaker 2: say him because I feel like I love Pat so much.
Speaker 2: I know he did not ask for it, so we'll
Speaker 2: we'll leave those out of there. But we had some
Speaker 2: really good joke.
Speaker 3: He did not seem like he wanted to be roasting.
Speaker 2: No, and you know what, like some people, I'm the
Speaker 2: same way, don't fucking ever. Anya still talks about a
Speaker 2: day on tour like years ago where she was roasting you,
Speaker 2: I guess Andrew, and she goes and Andrew's like, I'll
Speaker 2: come back at you, and she was like, come back
Speaker 2: at me. Let's see what you got. And Andrew said
Speaker 2: something that like she can't I'm not even gonna say
Speaker 2: what it was because she can't stop seeing it, and
Speaker 2: it's like literally affected herself esteem for the rest of
Speaker 2: her life.
Speaker 5: Yes, I wrote it month before.
Speaker 6: Every time Andrew sees somebody, he's like, well, if I
Speaker 6: have to roast somebody, it was.
Speaker 4: It's because I was like the small little Jewish kid
Speaker 4: on the bus that was always picked on. So I
Speaker 4: had to. It was so easy to just be like jew,
Speaker 4: you know, and then I couldn't. I didn't have anything,
Speaker 4: like I had to like be creative.
Speaker 5: Right right.
Speaker 3: You can make fun of you for being Jewish, but
Speaker 3: then for all the Protestants and stuff, you have to
Speaker 3: come up with something about their personality.
Speaker 5: Exactly, do Bryant? I can't.
Speaker 2: My favorite, my favorite joke about being as a Jewish
Speaker 2: person was Amy Schumer saying that they used to throw
Speaker 2: pennies at her and call her, you know, jew and
Speaker 2: throw pennies and then she'd go like what like screws McDuck,
Speaker 2: like yes, like that is such a funny, but but yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's it's horrible to be roasted.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone.
Speaker 2: I would never I don't want it outside of that
Speaker 2: kind of arena, Literally, I I don't.
Speaker 1: I would never want it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know anything about myself that anyone
Speaker 2: thinks is negative. It's it's when anyone starts a sentence
Speaker 2: like can I be honest with you? Or like hey,
Speaker 2: I've been thinking can you sit down? Like can we talk?
Speaker 2: I don't want because it's that to me is like
Speaker 2: there's some criticism coming your way and I literally can't
Speaker 2: handle it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't mind looks like making it looks.
Speaker 1: Really like because why because you can change it.
Speaker 4: No, I I'm the most self deprecating. I mean, I
Speaker 4: think it's hilarious to make fun of looks. I think
Speaker 4: when it starts to get like, there's who you are,
Speaker 4: who you are and likely yeah, yeah, achievements or work
Speaker 4: ethic or my mom didn't love me, you'll never be
Speaker 4: as good as your brother.
Speaker 1: Yes, know, you're right.
Speaker 2: I think looks for me are so much worse. Obviously,
Speaker 2: it's just like what you kind of get your worth from,
Speaker 2: I guess, but I can get hit in other ways
Speaker 2: as well. But it's yeah, it's it's not it's not fun,
Speaker 2: and I'm glad I'm out of the woods on that
Speaker 2: where it's like the jokes that were made, I'm just
Speaker 2: like kind of over already, you know, you move on.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like the one about you being old, Like it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's a good joke though, Yeah, it was so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was really. I saw it in the prompter to.
Speaker 2: Like right before he said, you know, he said, he's
Speaker 2: talking about Bill Belichick dating a young girl, and he's like,
Speaker 2: you coach, you need to date someone more your age,
Speaker 2: uh like Nicky. Like the way he delivered it was
Speaker 2: great too. And I saw like NICKI coming up and
Speaker 2: I go, here it comes. And you even saw his
Speaker 2: rehearsal set, and you you were what a good what
Speaker 2: a team player you are because you had some insider information.
Speaker 2: You did not deflate the balls for me because you
Speaker 2: knew that Gronk was gonna call me old, but you
Speaker 2: just said, hey, I saw Gronk set. He does have
Speaker 2: a joke about you that tends to address the fact
Speaker 2: that your age is a number.
Speaker 1: Like you said. You weren't even saying like old. You
Speaker 1: were like, your age is a number that is higher
Speaker 1: than other numbers. And I was like like, and I
Speaker 1: only read.
Speaker 2: It after like, but it was I like that you
Speaker 2: like kind of had his back and were kind of
Speaker 2: supportive of the roast environment where I'm not supposed to
Speaker 2: know anything and you do have to.
Speaker 1: I love playing fair. I hate cheating. I will.
Speaker 2: That's why it kind of surprised me reading about Tom
Speaker 2: and even having Tom admit that he cheated kind of
Speaker 2: or saying no, it wasn't any mission plau deniability totally
Speaker 2: because he's that was so fun. He could just say
Speaker 2: you because his joke was like the investigation that you
Speaker 2: guys put on to find out if I had deflated
Speaker 2: these balls or knew about it, was you spent twenty
Speaker 2: million dollars, pay me to million million dollars, I'll tell
Speaker 2: you I did it. So he could just say I
Speaker 2: was saying I would. I would just lie and say
Speaker 2: I did it for twenty million dollars. That is his deniability,
Speaker 2: but it's also could be taken as he admitted it,
Speaker 2: which was a very I loved that joke because it
Speaker 2: told that line.
Speaker 3: Of what is he admitting a mission?
Speaker 1: I think it. I think we all know it was
Speaker 1: because we he definitely didn't know.
Speaker 5: J Simpsons, I did. That's what it was totally.
Speaker 3: Also like deflating footballs, really, is that like such a
Speaker 3: huge deal?
Speaker 1: I guess in the scheme of things it's not.
Speaker 2: But if everyone is cheating I did, I probably would
Speaker 2: cheat if I'm just to be fair with everyone else.
Speaker 5: We all know what they say.
Speaker 2: If wait, hold on, I know it once again. If
Speaker 2: you if you're a cheating, you're not trying.
Speaker 1: Basically is that it.
Speaker 5: If you ain't cheating, you ain't try.
Speaker 4: You've heard that, right, Bob Dylan had some line like that, No,
Speaker 4: he really did Bob Dylan out of line.
Speaker 3: Like fuck the Jets.
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, he said Tom Brady killed Anon Hernandez.
Speaker 4: I think that's what Bob Dylan said, and I remember
Speaker 4: he was out of Yeah, yeah, that was a Bob
Speaker 4: Dylan lyric of his new B side.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: I just found out doing John Mullaney's UH Live show,
Speaker 2: which I was a fan like. I started out the
Speaker 2: week being like a fan of it, being like, man,
Speaker 2: I wish i could do that show and it's so funny,
Speaker 2: like it never a million years would I be on
Speaker 2: the Pat McAfee show to promote my special Someday You'll
Speaker 2: Die that's coming out on Saturday, last Saturday, because you're
Speaker 2: hearing this the week after, but this is the week,
Speaker 2: but we're taping it the week before. And then also
Speaker 2: John Mullaney's show, I was not in. John knows of
Speaker 2: me were friendly and he's not. There's nothing, no reason
Speaker 2: I would not ever be on that show if it
Speaker 2: was in a long run. But they're only doing six
Speaker 2: episodes and I'm gonna be and they just wrote me
Speaker 2: this morning being like John wants to have you on.
Speaker 6: We're not gonna harp on because I'm sure you don't
Speaker 6: want to. You don't want to get go too far
Speaker 6: into this. But Nicky is continued to be the toast
Speaker 6: of the town through this whole week. Like, I'm sure
Speaker 6: you guys, because everybody knows you guys are very close
Speaker 6: to Nicky as well. I'm sure people are texting you
Speaker 6: about how great Nicky was.
Speaker 3: Not gain one single text.
Speaker 5: I texted Brian, She's overrated.
Speaker 6: I'm still getting things like pouring in being like I
Speaker 6: just saw the roast.
Speaker 5: Nikki was the best.
Speaker 2: It's to the point where if you didn't text me
Speaker 2: and you're like a friend of like, it's weird. It's
Speaker 2: like nothing like that. There's no birth you can skip
Speaker 2: my birthdays. People can forget my birthdays. They can forget
Speaker 2: me getting if I get have a baby, if I
Speaker 2: get married, if I have a special come out, like
Speaker 2: I don't care, right, no, no, not like I wouldn't
Speaker 2: do it now because the only reason I do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, that was a good joke.
Speaker 2: Was that was a great joke that I have the
Speaker 2: I have the face of Tiffany Trump and the reproductive
Speaker 2: system of Baron or something or something like that.
Speaker 1: And the hits of Trump is the tag we wrote
Speaker 1: for it. Andrew did it.
Speaker 2: But uh, I now I really the only appeal to
Speaker 2: having a baby, what part of the peal would be,
Speaker 2: like this new identity you get to have, like I'm
Speaker 2: a mom, like look like and and I do think
Speaker 2: some moms do that, Like it's an identity of like
Speaker 2: I need a thing going on and I maybe there's
Speaker 2: a world in which that would have been interesting to
Speaker 2: me at some point down the line.
Speaker 1: No interest.
Speaker 2: Now I've I've summited Everest. I'm not gonna climb Killiman Jara.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, Like, I don't why would you?
Speaker 2: I would never It's not even a consideration.
Speaker 6: Your new identity now is being on every single show
Speaker 6: in podcast in America.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just I've never been so beloved, Like, let
Speaker 2: me just say this, I've never I've never had a
Speaker 2: moment where everyone's just like happy for me, they like
Speaker 2: me the la times.
Speaker 1: The headline was well done, Mickey.
Speaker 4: I've never had any kind of like am I like
Speaker 4: make a wish kind of thing?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Hey, the best he's were in on this early
Speaker 5: all you best.
Speaker 6: Totally I always thought that locky for Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2: I do feel like it's like that that article two
Speaker 2: and the other times I'm like, I do feel like
Speaker 2: I won the Super Bowl. I'm going to like the
Speaker 2: parade like it kind of feels like that kind of
Speaker 2: vibe in the air, and I'll it's gonna get annoying
Speaker 2: of me talking about it at some point, but I
Speaker 2: just I can't. I wish everyone could experience the love
Speaker 2: that I'm feeling from people.
Speaker 6: You've been called the MVP, Yeah, which is kind of
Speaker 6: amazing because that's a big deal in sports.
Speaker 1: That's the main deal. It's the biggest deal.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know it was the biggest deal until
Speaker 2: I was talking to you about Hey, I'm going to
Speaker 2: rank Tom Brady's achievements here, all of them, and you go, well,
Speaker 2: MVPs first, and I go, really, being the MVP of
Speaker 2: the Super Bowl would be the first, and You're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this's be it's up there. I'm like, I would just
Speaker 2: think that's like, that's fine, that's good, but I'm winning
Speaker 2: the super Bowl.
Speaker 3: He's a big team guy. I think you probably down
Speaker 3: if you asked him, maybe if you if you went
Speaker 3: into his heart and really found the truth. MVP would
Speaker 3: be number one. Yeah, but winning the.
Speaker 6: Super Bowl it is well, MVP of the super Bowl
Speaker 6: already implies that you've won the super.
Speaker 1: Bowl is the same guy.
Speaker 2: But like all team people, I think at their core
Speaker 2: are like they want like Tom Brady wants to be
Speaker 2: Tom Bradley, of course, but he is a generous person.
Speaker 2: But I think at your core you want to be
Speaker 2: the center of it. I don't know, speaking as Tom Brady.
Speaker 5: We wouldn't know anything about it.
Speaker 3: This much praise, it could get to the point where
Speaker 3: it starts to feel sarcastic, like can you just just
Speaker 3: read well done Nikki Glazer and like italics, Yeah, that's what's.
Speaker 1: Been kind of the respect.
Speaker 2: Like I've never been someone people have been like you're
Speaker 2: great and you work hard and like all these things,
Speaker 2: and I've agreed with it. I've never thought I've deserved
Speaker 2: anything more than that. I've never been like when is
Speaker 2: my day gonna come?
Speaker 1: Ever?
Speaker 2: I really haven't, but it has arrived where I am
Speaker 2: like the bell of the ball and cool people, the
Speaker 2: cool comedy people like me and are like welcome, like
Speaker 2: come hang with us, we do arenas and you are
Speaker 2: going to do those soon too, Like gave you.
Speaker 3: A shout out on Flagrant.
Speaker 4: It's nice.
Speaker 1: It's nice to be Tim Welke. Tim Dillon welcomed me
Speaker 1: to the top tier.
Speaker 2: He did didn't welcome me, but it felt like he's
Speaker 2: up there and he's like he gave me a hand
Speaker 2: and like pulled me up and he just said, you're
Speaker 2: on the top tier now.
Speaker 1: It's it's a long time.
Speaker 2: Like it was just a little but he acknowledged it.
Speaker 2: And it's like it does feel like I just got
Speaker 2: that like seven timers jacket arsenal or something.
Speaker 3: Maybe you'll get the the farm now.
Speaker 1: I want to get in these pedophile rings. Is that
Speaker 1: in coming? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Billionaire really yeah.
Speaker 2: My friend's husband is a billionaire and he just got
Speaker 2: back from Necker Island.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I don't tell us what happened.
Speaker 2: Isn't that the place where I've heard of this island?
Speaker 2: It's where like he was there with Richard Branson and.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes it is the island.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not good to own an island.
Speaker 5: You shouldn't.
Speaker 2: After Epstein, don't we all think that island an island
Speaker 2: no more?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: See that's shady as well.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you feel like island today.
Speaker 1: Really Wow, Well there's no nothing weird there.
Speaker 3: Only mister Beast has an island.
Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 2: I bet they're like buying remember when everyone's buying stars. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I bet they're like that, Like there's just little dots
Speaker 2: everywhere that you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's a limited number.
Speaker 1: And with the polar ice cap smelting, the rising, less islands.
Speaker 3: Less islands, red skin yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also with the income inequality, just more people can afford
Speaker 3: to buy an island and less people can afford to
Speaker 3: live on that island that they're going to buy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who is going to run the island? Who's going
Speaker 2: to change your sheets? Who's going to iron your sheets?
Speaker 2: That's what rich people do. They have people iron their sheets.
Speaker 2: That's something that I only had one time when I
Speaker 2: was on a yacht and it felt totally stupid to
Speaker 2: me to do.
Speaker 1: But I saw these women ironing sheets on a yacht.
Speaker 2: Like it's just But I can't wait to be a
Speaker 2: part of that now.
Speaker 1: And that's where my life is.
Speaker 2: So we'll come back to the show, but I am
Speaker 2: going to be different. So we're gonna go on a break.
Speaker 2: But I'm gett even gonna change in.
Speaker 1: The next five minutes after these commercials, So stay with us.
Speaker 5: We'll be back at the day.
Speaker 1: We're What are you Last night? What did we do?
Speaker 2: We went to dinner with Rachel. Rachel Finzein and I
Speaker 2: went to dinner at Nobu and we show up and
Speaker 2: we're both wearing the same blazer that we both got
Speaker 2: from a Cynthia Rally show that we did. She had
Speaker 2: like comedians on this New York Fashion Week show a
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, and they like, let us go
Speaker 2: to their showroom and pick out stuff, and Rachel and
Speaker 2: I both picked out like this oversized pin and stripe blazer.
Speaker 2: And last night we showed up at dinner and this
Speaker 2: was like a year and a half ago, two years
Speaker 2: ago that we did this, and we both were wearing
Speaker 2: the same blazer, and it felt I've never felt more.
Speaker 2: We were so happy to be wearing the same thing.
Speaker 2: That's a really magical moment in a girl's life. To
Speaker 2: best friends who would don'tee each other. We only see
Speaker 2: each other five times a year.
Speaker 6: I was I was so happy that you guys went
Speaker 6: to dinner. But I was really jealous because I've always said,
Speaker 6: if I could you know when the people are like,
Speaker 6: if you go to dinner with five people, who would
Speaker 6: the five people be? And I would be like, I
Speaker 6: want five Rachel Feinstein's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she there was. It was so fun.
Speaker 2: And then Andrew joined us about forty five minutes and
Speaker 2: dropped in and yeah it was. She's so fucking funny.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's the best.
Speaker 1: She really is, and.
Speaker 2: She's nice and she could like I was like, Rachel,
Speaker 2: I really want to talk to you about like like
Speaker 2: I want to go deep with you, like I want
Speaker 2: to like I want to talk about everything. I go,
Speaker 2: can you are you cool with Andrew Cumming? Like can
Speaker 2: you get talk like that? And she's like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't care, like she just she'll I like that. She
Speaker 2: I like when people are like if I vouch for someone,
Speaker 2: well she already knows you. But if I vouch for
Speaker 2: someone like their a vault, you can be honest with them.
Speaker 2: They'll be just as honest about their life that they
Speaker 2: trust me and go, yeah, he can hear about my
Speaker 2: marriage or my kids or my insecurities, but like whatever
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 5: And she has a special coming out on Netflix.
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe twenty first called big Guy. Big Guy one
Speaker 2: of my favorite comedians of all time. Watch our specials.
Speaker 2: Support female comedy. It's not even female comedy. It's like
Speaker 2: the best. She's so fucking funny. But yeah, big Guy
Speaker 2: on Netflix. I can't wait for even the trailer to
Speaker 2: come out. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we had a.
Speaker 3: Netflix has amazing trailers too. I feel like sometimes the
Speaker 3: trailers are better than the show really often.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I asked her, I go watch, let me
Speaker 2: see your trailer, shees.
Speaker 1: I don't think they do trailers.
Speaker 3: Well, they do it on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh okay. I think they just do clips and I go,
Speaker 2: you have a trailer.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know how those No, I don't know
Speaker 3: how the stand up specials go. But for regular shows,
Speaker 3: they'll do a trailer about a week a month before,
Speaker 3: a week before. Yeah, and they're almost half the time
Speaker 3: they're better than the show. Like, the trailers are so good,
Speaker 3: Like if I can just watch I used to go
Speaker 3: to the gym and like on the screen there there
Speaker 3: was a trailer channel. Sometimes you just watch movie trailers
Speaker 3: while running. And if I could just watch Netflix trailers,
Speaker 3: I could do a full workout.
Speaker 2: Wow are they so? They're different than like movie trailers?
Speaker 2: You feel like that you.
Speaker 1: Would see it.
Speaker 3: They're similar, they're similar, but it just pumps you up
Speaker 3: for the show, and the show could never live up
Speaker 3: to the two because it's like highlights yeah and set.
Speaker 1: To a song.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like all the cuts are hitting, like when the beat
Speaker 2: kicks it like it's.
Speaker 6: There's some like non sequiturs where you're like, you know,
Speaker 6: you're just doing kind of funny things and you're it
Speaker 6: kind of draws you and you're like, what is she
Speaker 6: doing here?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: What's this direct?
Speaker 2: And a lot of I've gotten a lot of compliments
Speaker 2: on the trailer actually from people from people who like
Speaker 2: know what they're talking about.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's so nice.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I've uh one time, I've I've
Speaker 2: talked about a million times. But my favorite movie is
Speaker 2: the Social Network trailer. Yeah, it's the it's it's the greatest.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, it was. It's not that it's I'm.
Speaker 3: A creep oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 6: Then and it's like boys choir, yes, and it's scorse trailer.
Speaker 6: Oh so good, And David Fincher was like, hey, who
Speaker 6: can direct the trailer to my movie?
Speaker 2: It's oh my god, it's like a music and it's
Speaker 2: weird that music videos aren't really getting like their short form,
Speaker 2: like why why are they dead?
Speaker 3: Because there's nowhere to with them? It's just on.
Speaker 1: Videos YouTube, but there's tons of places music video.
Speaker 3: There's nowhere to put video content anymore.
Speaker 2: There's where there's nowhere not to put video content.
Speaker 1: It can be any I.
Speaker 4: Feel like music is TikTok is just trailers for songs.
Speaker 1: Oh really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're getting like tell.
Speaker 2: Me, like what's going on there? And like what do
Speaker 2: you spend your like what's your algorithm?
Speaker 4: I have golf, I have random people getting knocked out.
Speaker 5: On crime faces. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Is there a genre of girls with amazing asses going
Speaker 2: up to drive, like going up to drive? Yeah there are, Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're always like these fit girls that like you just
Speaker 2: look at.
Speaker 3: Their still camera from behind while they're swinging and it's
Speaker 3: really look at my swing, but it's really look at
Speaker 3: my ass.
Speaker 2: Yes, it couldn't be more clear to look at their
Speaker 2: like it's just so I'm almost swing.
Speaker 3: Isn't that good?
Speaker 5: Well they don't even have a club in there?
Speaker 1: What and so what out? Like what are you?
Speaker 4: There's some musicians that you wantn't know that I know,
Speaker 4: are gonna blow up Jake Jill Maybe, oh yeah, Benson Boone,
Speaker 4: this Benson Boone, so you Benson Benson Boone.
Speaker 3: When the song goes viral and it becomes trending on TikTok,
Speaker 3: then that song becomes the number one song on Spotify.
Speaker 1: But people only will know.
Speaker 2: Like these artists are saying that they'll go and they'll
Speaker 2: play the show, and everyone shows up and they just
Speaker 2: sing the one fifteen second part of the song that's
Speaker 2: from the TikTok.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that could happen.
Speaker 1: The song.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they just repeat it seven times.
Speaker 3: Sometimes a good thing is sometimes it digs into the
Speaker 3: past and resurrects a song that we all loved, Like
Speaker 3: it happened to Billy Joel with a couple of his songs.
Speaker 3: And there was that song that just that just got played,
Speaker 3: that was actually played at the Tom Brady Roast after party.
Speaker 3: It would never have been played if it did not
Speaker 3: trend on TikTok. It's I forgot the guy's name, but
Speaker 3: it's a you want to know where I've been, I've
Speaker 3: been trying to I can't.
Speaker 1: Sing yeah, yeah, okay, don't so yeah no, I don't.
Speaker 3: Think Yeah, I know it's a white guy that everyone
Speaker 3: used to think was black because his voice sounded so
Speaker 3: much like a soul singer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Know, it's so good.
Speaker 2: I have a song that is out now on Spotify
Speaker 2: and iTunes or songs. It's coming out tonight, I think
Speaker 2: as we're shooting this, but like it's out now when
Speaker 2: people are listening to this.
Speaker 1: It's called Someday You'll Die. It's on Spotify. Besties know
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: They've heard about it since the inception of it. They've
Speaker 2: been awaiting it. There's no bestie listening right now to
Speaker 2: the podcast who hasn't heard the song already, even you know,
Speaker 2: I play it during my lives, so they're well aware.
Speaker 2: So tell your friends, put it on your playlist, share
Speaker 2: it with people. Tim this morning, Tim Convey, your brother
Speaker 2: who wrote the song with me and helped produce or
Speaker 2: it did produce. He sent me a lyric video that
Speaker 2: was made, but it's using all it's really cool that
Speaker 2: they did it, but it's using all like stock footage
Speaker 2: for every line. So it's like I get a text,
Speaker 2: I'm my best friend, and it's like a girl in
Speaker 2: bed getting a text, and then it's like, but I
Speaker 2: can't get out of bed, and she like can't get
Speaker 2: out of bed, and it's like it's all stocks see
Speaker 2: and say yes, and it just it feels like I
Speaker 2: was like, can we just say this was made by
Speaker 2: chat GBT, Like I don't want to say that I
Speaker 2: paid anyone to do this because it's not good. It's
Speaker 2: not like there's nothing artistic about but I appreciate that
Speaker 2: it was made. But then there's also like, he goes,
Speaker 2: what ideas do you have for a lyric video? Can
Speaker 2: we still just use lyrics and maybe just put up
Speaker 2: a picture? But the like the fonts or even like
Speaker 2: live laugh love a little bit, like they try to
Speaker 2: do funny things with the fonts, And I'm like, it
Speaker 2: was a nice effort and I appreciate it, but I
Speaker 2: don't and I don't know the answer to what a
Speaker 2: lyric video should be. But my idea I think I'm
Speaker 2: gonna shoot today is just me writing it and then
Speaker 2: we just because I like watching people write with like
Speaker 2: a cool marker like this is satisfied.
Speaker 5: You like walking through a field? I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I would do a still shot of me walking down
Speaker 2: sunset singing the whole entire thing without without stopping.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea.
Speaker 5: Something like that.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's how those go to Hollywood Forever Cemetery
Speaker 3: and walk through that.
Speaker 1: Because someday you'll die.
Speaker 5: Yeh okay, they were on something.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 6: Forrest Lawn, I went to Forest Lawn Cemetery. It was
Speaker 6: like the most depressing thing I've ever listen to. This,
Speaker 6: this is so bad, So I can't I shouldn't even
Speaker 6: tell this. It's too bad down like so okay, I
Speaker 6: tell you. It was right before Easter, and I kind
Speaker 6: of like cemetery. So I was walking through and uh,
Speaker 6: like I think, like anyway, walking through, and I'm just
Speaker 6: like looking at at different like gravestones, and they were
Speaker 6: decorated for Easter. So anything that was decorated for Easter.
Speaker 6: I was like, Oh, these people, there's something current about this,
Speaker 6: and I would be kind of curious, so I'd go along.
Speaker 6: And I saw a gravestone of a kid that was
Speaker 6: has been dead for forty years and it was decorated
Speaker 6: with all of So somebody who's been coming for forty
Speaker 6: years and decorating the gravestone and the kid was only
Speaker 6: alive for six days.
Speaker 4: WHOA.
Speaker 5: So that person was going there at least every Easter
Speaker 5: and putting like children decorations. It was like, yeah, it
Speaker 5: was like touching.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like absolutely, God's.
Speaker 3: Also the day that Jesus came back to life, right yeah,
Speaker 3: but you so maybe it'll work.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you had to like do a double take reading that.
Speaker 4: It just probably it just said like May eleven through
Speaker 4: May seventeen.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was like August like nineteen eighty two to
Speaker 6: like August sixth, nineteen eighty. Yeah, it's like August eleventh,
Speaker 6: nineteen eighty two. And you're like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Well I've been doing this joke on stage more in.
Speaker 5: Six days than you did in six minutes. You know,
Speaker 5: it was close, it's closed. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wonder for longer. Yeah, I wonder when I did Yeah,
Speaker 1: well done, kid, well done, kiddy flowers.
Speaker 2: But uh no, I di I do this joke about
Speaker 2: how people think their kid's gonna like we like, no
Speaker 2: one really needs your kids, stop having them, and we
Speaker 2: we get it. You think your kid's gonna cure cancer,
Speaker 2: but it's more likely your kids will get cancer. And
Speaker 2: I and I go, and that always doesn't do well
Speaker 2: because people picture kids with cancer and that's sad. But
Speaker 2: it is actually more likely that your kid, as a kid,
Speaker 2: will get cancer. It's just statistics. Then cure cancer, it's
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, it's infinitely, infinitely more likely. That's just true,
Speaker 2: but it is offensive and it makes people sad. So
Speaker 2: now I go, it's more likely that you're your kid's
Speaker 2: not gonna cure cancer. It's probably gonna get cancer at
Speaker 2: some point in its lifetime when it is an old person.
Speaker 2: And then I go, because that's more palatable than saying
Speaker 2: it they're getting cancer as a kid, isn't it. And
Speaker 2: then that now gets a laugh because I'm calling out
Speaker 2: like for some reason, both are true and both are sad,
Speaker 2: but like it's just so much like I find them
Speaker 2: very special. Uh No, that joke isn't in special, but
Speaker 2: the version I'm telling now will probably be in the
Speaker 2: next special because now it's working because I'm addressing the
Speaker 2: thing that is uncomfortable about it and now making a
Speaker 2: joke out of that.
Speaker 5: It's crazy because you're special.
Speaker 6: You had like an hour and forty five minutes a
Speaker 6: material going in and so much of it got cut.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was it was too too much to take
Speaker 2: too much things. But the next special, I'm approaching at
Speaker 2: Rose style six minutes at a time.
Speaker 5: Oh, wow, on it all trailers. I love that trailers
Speaker 5: love it.
Speaker 1: Settleman. Sorry, Oh that's a guy I went to high school.
Speaker 2: I have got a lot of Edelmans in my wife,
Speaker 2: and you're they're all gay, very common name, I think.
Speaker 1: Actually Alex Edelman is bisexual.
Speaker 5: So he came out for his special.
Speaker 1: Yes special, he's back. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Netflix wouldn't give him one unless he was interesting.
Speaker 4: Do you think if you get kid cancer, though, and
Speaker 4: you die, you get you're more like people will show
Speaker 4: up for forty years? Would you rather have that? Or
Speaker 4: die of cancer at an old age and and people
Speaker 4: show up.
Speaker 2: For I don't care because I'm dead, so I'd like
Speaker 2: to live longer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, living longer is better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be really sad if you just had to
Speaker 2: wait by your grave after you died, all the time
Speaker 2: waiting for people to come by, Like you're just sitting
Speaker 2: there being like I hope someone stops by.
Speaker 4: I've never been to my grandparents grave.
Speaker 5: Thing.
Speaker 3: You should go. It actually feels nice to do it.
Speaker 5: I love going to I don't know where it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Actually, my one grandpa got buried in a cemetery
Speaker 4: and apparently they just put more bodies. They them, they
Speaker 4: stacked them up and we didn't like, it's no way
Speaker 4: us spooning somebody forever.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's crazy, Well not really. I mean the the
Speaker 3: their body biodegrades after like you know, eight years, well
Speaker 3: they're bones, and that the bones are still lasts longer
Speaker 3: yet longer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes there's mummified things like you see bones of
Speaker 2: like the bones like people are sacrificed and they put
Speaker 2: them in like a crazy like they're two people cradling
Speaker 2: each other. I want to be buried, like in a
Speaker 2: fetal like that would be cool to Like my bones
Speaker 2: are like so they think something I was like bludgeoned
Speaker 2: to death by someone, even though so in my casket
Speaker 2: I'm like crumpled so that when aliens discover me, they go,
Speaker 2: what happened on this bitch?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I like that. I want to be like blowing myself myself.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah I could actually.
Speaker 2: Because all of your muscle isn't stopping you, Like what's
Speaker 2: stopping you from I guess your spine or is it
Speaker 2: your fascia?
Speaker 5: My big enough?
Speaker 4: I mean, when it really comes down to it, enough, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I just.
Speaker 2: Can't someone who was able to touch their mouth to it.
Speaker 2: There was some person I remember that.
Speaker 3: Was like, well, there was like a rumor going around.
Speaker 3: I forgot who it was where someone got a rib removed.
Speaker 2: Who was We had a joke about it the other
Speaker 2: day because I was going to talk about how Kim
Speaker 2: Kardashian like took quite a beating that night. But then
Speaker 2: the next night she was at the met Gallon. She
Speaker 2: was wearing a corset that was so painful looking. I
Speaker 2: mean literally, her waist was the size of her neck.
Speaker 2: It was no difference that small, and we were talking
Speaker 2: about like she had a rib removed, like Marilyn Manson,
Speaker 2: she either wanted to fit in the dresser or she
Speaker 2: wanted to suck. Marilyn Manson's like, removing your.
Speaker 4: Rib kind of makes sense because then they could like
Speaker 4: bond over, you know, but.
Speaker 2: She would never because he's so white, was our joke.
Speaker 2: He's the whitest white person makeup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah I don't know. Yeah, he doesn't go full.
Speaker 3: But there are cemeteries all across this world that are
Speaker 3: just like forgotten. Like you think there's some permanence in
Speaker 3: being buried in a cemetery and there's like cemeteries from
Speaker 3: the Civil War that are just covered up by a
Speaker 3: mall or just unmarked graves everywhere. Like you really can't
Speaker 3: step on a place on Earth where someone hasn't been
Speaker 3: laid to rest.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean it makes sense. There's so many more
Speaker 2: dead people than they are alive people.
Speaker 6: Well, how do you like, Okay, when when it's all
Speaker 6: over for Brian, what do you want to happen to
Speaker 6: That's a great question.
Speaker 3: Remains frozen and then resurrected the technology.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't talk about Brian's death.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not a thing that happens now.
Speaker 3: My dad, though we've talked about this, he's interested in
Speaker 3: a haunted forest. These are trees that have a little
Speaker 3: sack underneath of them where you can put the body
Speaker 3: in the sack so that it helps a tree grow,
Speaker 3: and then the tree is the thing you go see
Speaker 3: and not the gravestone. And in a bunch of trees
Speaker 3: like this, it's they call it a haunted four.
Speaker 2: Oh god, that's so gross to think of, like a
Speaker 2: crumpled body like in a.
Speaker 3: Saxon your energy or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're Yeah, I don't mind being thrown into the ground.
Speaker 1: Just no casket.
Speaker 2: Like the worms get you quicker and you become part
Speaker 2: of the earth. I like that better than being like
Speaker 2: it's going to take billions of millennia to go through
Speaker 2: the wood and the shellac on the wood and then
Speaker 2: the like, it won't.
Speaker 3: Take billions of millennial you'll you'll biodegrade inside that coffin.
Speaker 2: I don't care what the fuck happens. I literally, I've
Speaker 2: talked about this before. If you are someone who wants
Speaker 2: to fuck dead people, I'll give my body to Necker Felix.
Speaker 1: I don't care if you fuck me.
Speaker 5: I don't care. Hey, what would be the difference?
Speaker 1: It doesn't I was gonna say the smell, but I
Speaker 1: don't even know about that. When it happened, I think
Speaker 1: I might be wetter. Involving fluid might be.
Speaker 5: Biggest special ever.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so funny.
Speaker 2: A plus plus clip it, clip it, Yes, that's clipped.
Speaker 2: You're getting clipped, brother.
Speaker 1: But what do you want? What do you want to happen.
Speaker 6: To your bod strapped to a chair donated to the
Speaker 6: military and shot at. Just give it to science. Science,
Speaker 6: Just do whatever science wants to do. If it can,
Speaker 6: like help a kid learn how to do surgery or
Speaker 6: it doesn't.
Speaker 5: I don't care.
Speaker 3: Well, you can't choose that when you donate it to science,
Speaker 3: you don't know where it's going to go. You might
Speaker 3: wind up getting strapped to a thing and shot with
Speaker 3: a missile.
Speaker 6: But like I said, I don't care. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 6: whatever is useful.
Speaker 1: They might study nacophilia.
Speaker 5: I would like to be useful.
Speaker 1: They might do a study with me, want to corpses
Speaker 1: and that might be science.
Speaker 5: Couldn't care less.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care either.
Speaker 5: That'll be used.
Speaker 6: But you know what I do, even though I feel
Speaker 6: that way, Like in movies where people have to like
Speaker 6: like recover the body from like a war field, I
Speaker 6: always find that very moving.
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, and you know what, second thought on this,
Speaker 2: I do like the idea of a ashes spreading thing,
Speaker 2: Like I think that's very beautiful and I think that
Speaker 2: I would want that gift for my family and friends
Speaker 2: to like have a closure moment like that. And there's
Speaker 2: just something about being lowered into the ground that is
Speaker 2: so sad and being kept Like I would like a
Speaker 2: place for them to go to like remember me and
Speaker 2: visit because I think that is important, Like a gravestone
Speaker 2: and maybe put a little bit of the ashes in that,
Speaker 2: but then the rest of the ashes, I don't know
Speaker 2: where you'd scatter it over the fucking Kia forum.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that.
Speaker 5: Okay, where would you where would you want ashes? Right now?
Speaker 5: Because you let's say you could do it like a
Speaker 5: few places. What about Taylor.
Speaker 2: Swists, Rhode Island Beach House Now I would say probably. God,
Speaker 2: that's such a good question right now. Maybe like my
Speaker 2: childhood home, like the like Cincinnati, Cincinnati, like the little
Speaker 2: like in like the little wooded area on the side.
Speaker 2: I think it's not even there, but like in the
Speaker 2: front yard where I used to run around as a
Speaker 2: little girl. Like I think that's I'm almost getting choked
Speaker 2: up thinking about it, Like that's like a that seems nice,
Speaker 2: even though I haven't been back there since I was six.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what about it? Seems I don't know where were
Speaker 1: scattering them? About?
Speaker 3: What are you doing up there?
Speaker 4: You can put my ashes, I think, inside a dildo
Speaker 4: and give it to Burno, give her.
Speaker 1: Not the plan.
Speaker 4: Yeah, finally I can have a red penis for something
Speaker 4: like special to me. I hear up almost thinking about
Speaker 4: about it. It's crazy, what money I've got everything like.
Speaker 1: Your childhood home.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Remember I used to run around, cut that, clip it.
Speaker 4: I mean I don't know, clip it, cut cut it out,
Speaker 4: burn it, running around.
Speaker 5: I'm dead autism. I think I have it. I yeah,
Speaker 5: I don't know. I I get scared about cremation. I don't.
Speaker 5: For some reason, I.
Speaker 4: Still think I could feel it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm crazier. You should be scared about getting lowered
Speaker 3: into the ground too. Then it's really cold.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 5: I had to do that for my grandpa.
Speaker 1: Actually, that was the one I never you did go
Speaker 1: one time.
Speaker 5: Just to dig it years before he died.
Speaker 4: Get up kill his watch.
Speaker 5: That was a present that I stole from my aunt.
Speaker 5: She doesn't know she's deaf, so she really is like
Speaker 5: clip it, clip it.
Speaker 4: Don't do captions, captions if anything, turn it down a little.
Speaker 5: You never know, so I.
Speaker 1: Might just started hearing if it's loud enough.
Speaker 5: You really do know. She got a lot of money.
Speaker 5: You know, she gets a lot of money. You never know. Science.
Speaker 4: I had to shovel in the Jewish religion. You have
Speaker 4: to literally put the.
Speaker 1: Dirty everyone takes.
Speaker 5: Ah.
Speaker 4: That was yeah, you know, just like hearing it hit
Speaker 4: the cast.
Speaker 1: We all got to we send in the line and
Speaker 1: each got to do a thing.
Speaker 5: Oh really, it was cool.
Speaker 1: It's a nice tradition. Yeah, you guys got some good ones.
Speaker 2: And then you also like let people you have like
Speaker 2: what's the morning? Yeah, the morning, yeah, yeah, that's really
Speaker 2: that's nice too.
Speaker 3: Brings you food for a week.
Speaker 1: It's like the.
Speaker 2: Paid leave for a postpartum, paid leave of like of death.
Speaker 2: I feel like where it's like we take a little
Speaker 2: bit more time to I don't know why it's I'm
Speaker 2: comparing it to that, but some people like to give
Speaker 2: you no time.
Speaker 1: They're just like, come back to work because child is
Speaker 1: a huge death, death to your body.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I do think that sometimes all the time,
Speaker 2: but some people want it.
Speaker 4: It was funny my grandpa got buried and then my
Speaker 4: grandma died like eight years later and got buried next
Speaker 4: to him, and I could just imagine him being so pissed,
Speaker 4: Oh my god that day, Like he's like, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm banging Hooters girls in heaven and now Grandma Salma, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm home movin.
Speaker 2: Louis has a bit about that. I'm like, why are
Speaker 2: you He's good. We've touched on a couple of things
Speaker 2: and I'm like Louis has that bit too, Like I
Speaker 2: always got.
Speaker 3: The bit about getting sucked as a body.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a medical student just gets an They just
Speaker 2: put an f on you and just slide you down
Speaker 2: a fucking shoes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Grandma, they put an F plus on it. And
Speaker 3: then there's the fucking the dead body. He's like, I
Speaker 3: want my body to be like the Willy Wonka, like
Speaker 3: someone comes out and you can come on my back
Speaker 3: and pretend I am your father.
Speaker 4: Yes that I don't know that song. And until ticktock
Speaker 4: brought it back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well Timothy Shalloman brought back watch that chocolate.
Speaker 5: I don't have to get it.
Speaker 1: It's not good.
Speaker 5: Literally, I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 2: I felt the joke bubbling in you, and I had
Speaker 2: to get it, Like I literally felt it physically, the
Speaker 2: joke in your like stern them.
Speaker 1: That's so funny.
Speaker 2: I my grandma actually when so, my grandpa died probably
Speaker 2: ten years before she did, and you know, for the
Speaker 2: first five years, it was like, I can't wait to
Speaker 2: see Grandpa like my husband again. And then she started
Speaker 2: getting dogs, like she got senior dogs. They would just
Speaker 2: give her dogs and then they would die and she
Speaker 2: would and then at the end of her life, she
Speaker 2: was like, I can't wait to see my dogs and
Speaker 2: I would be I literally was like, what about Grandpa
Speaker 2: And she was like, I'm good, Like I had a
Speaker 2: really good time with him while he was here, Like
Speaker 2: she was like he was kind of an asshole, like
Speaker 2: kind of grumpy. She was constantly like catering to him,
Speaker 2: and it was like, it's a different It was a
Speaker 2: marriage of the forties, so like that's what it was.
Speaker 1: So she was like, no, I don't.
Speaker 5: Really want to have like one hundred kids together.
Speaker 2: They had so many, ten kids and five miscarriages. Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie,
Speaker 2: tom Or, Peggy, Chucky, Bobbies, Patty, Sally, Mom and Dad.
Speaker 5: Wow, Yeahgy that time I did it.
Speaker 6: Peggy, Yeah, your grandparents. It sounds like they all died
Speaker 6: like many years apart. It sounds like they never even.
Speaker 5: Loved each other, because we all know that if they
Speaker 5: love each other, they die with.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, that's exact sign. Okay, we're gonna go to
Speaker 2: break and come back with more after this. All right,
Speaker 2: we're back in the final stages of the show.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah it did quick.
Speaker 2: I gotta go do three more podcasts. Today, I'm doing
Speaker 2: a comedy Bang Bang.
Speaker 5: This is wild.
Speaker 3: You're doing a tour of the world here. I can't imagine.
Speaker 3: This week is so packed. You you usually when you
Speaker 3: come to l A, you pack it with podcasts. You
Speaker 3: try to make it was already packed. Already it was packed,
Speaker 3: and now you're adding all this other It's like every
Speaker 3: five minutes, it's a new podcast you have to go to.
Speaker 2: Yes, I got booked on Seth Myers, which was last week.
Speaker 2: I'm doing that next week. And then the John Mlaney
Speaker 2: thing just came through. But that's John Mulaney show is
Speaker 2: going to be. There's no preparation for it. I don't
Speaker 2: have to have a bit prepared. You just go out
Speaker 2: and you just laugh. Sure, and that's that's the joy.
Speaker 5: I mean, you're gonna be so good on it too.
Speaker 2: Because I love the show. So it's nice to be
Speaker 2: a fan of a show you're going into. I want
Speaker 2: to watch Last Nights. But yeah. I saw Nate Pargazzi
Speaker 2: the other night and he was like, I just got
Speaker 2: done with the Milaniy thing. He's like, you know, you
Speaker 2: just go out there. You just don't even know what's
Speaker 2: gonna happen. There's really nothing you can do. And it
Speaker 2: was just like it was like, Okay, that's just what
Speaker 2: I need to hear. Is like I was when he
Speaker 2: was saying that, I was like, oh, now I want
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 5: It because it's just those situations.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love no prep.
Speaker 2: Yes, I like no reviewing, what we're gonna go over,
Speaker 2: not having to hit our marks. Oh and then it's done.
Speaker 2: I love that he said on his first show, like
Speaker 2: the show is never going to find its groove. Yes,
Speaker 2: so funny because that's it's such an insider term too.
Speaker 5: That happens with all these TV shows like you're like,
Speaker 5: you know, Jimmy, TV shows.
Speaker 2: Like like Nicky and Sarah Right, yeah, not safe. They
Speaker 2: never felt they weren't allowed to last long enough to
Speaker 2: find what they are.
Speaker 6: Like even you watch early Conan's and it took them
Speaker 6: a little while to find their groove.
Speaker 2: And when they couldn't believe it lasted, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: That I really recommend watching or listening to. Obviously, I
Speaker 2: recommended Hot Ones Conan, which was amazing and one of
Speaker 2: the best pieces of comedy ever. And then they had
Speaker 2: that he has on Doctor Arroyo, his doctor from Hot
Speaker 2: Ones on for a segment on his podcast, and it's
Speaker 2: on YouTube. Just type in doctor Arroyo. It is so
Speaker 2: it's so funny. It's just like the comments underneath, which
Speaker 2: you know, comments helped me determine how I feel about it,
Speaker 2: are like this is a twenty minute masterclass in improv.
Speaker 1: It's just it's really really good.
Speaker 3: Right on hot Ones.
Speaker 1: It was so subtle, just like the subtle.
Speaker 3: I was tricked. At the beginning. I was like, this
Speaker 3: is this is it's a real doctor because he was
Speaker 3: so not purposely funny seeming that I was like, maybe
Speaker 3: this is a real guy who just doesn't know what
Speaker 3: to say. Yeah, And obviously by the end of it.
Speaker 2: On the interview, he goes, you know, we just have
Speaker 2: to talk about some of your practices that you established
Speaker 2: during the hot Ones episode. People have questions, you know,
Speaker 2: when you took my pulse, you seem to be choking
Speaker 2: my neck, and he goes, I thought you wanted me
Speaker 2: to actually take your pulse away.
Speaker 6: Nicky was like, you know what you like, we were
Speaker 6: like going to sleep, and I was like, oh, Nicky's
Speaker 6: probably asleep by now, and then.
Speaker 5: She just kept laughing, and for like fifteen.
Speaker 2: Minutes, I can never do that, Like, I'm never like
Speaker 2: cracking up the things I'm listening to as I'm going
Speaker 2: to bed, but I couldn't. I was like gasping. There's
Speaker 2: one where he goes, and then when you were checking
Speaker 2: you had me stick on my tongue at one point
Speaker 2: and checked my like tongue with the with the heart monitor,
Speaker 2: and he said, yeah, well that's how we did it.
Speaker 2: I needed to hear if there was any screaming going on,
Speaker 2: like you're talking about that. He goes, and it was dead.
Speaker 2: Your tongue was dead, so it was good. And he goes, well,
Speaker 2: usually one would put that device on my chest to
Speaker 2: hear my heartbeat. And he just goes, oh, the idea
Speaker 2: of a heart It's just these subtle things that you're like,
Speaker 2: where are you even going up?
Speaker 1: And that was so funny.
Speaker 2: It's really there's so many more moments that are just
Speaker 2: so great to listen to.
Speaker 1: But what do you guys.
Speaker 3: Got you're yourself now?
Speaker 2: I am a little bit, but it is it is. Uh,
Speaker 2: it's a good it's it is a good week to
Speaker 2: be me.
Speaker 5: Lazier.
Speaker 4: No, I thought you're gonna go third person. You might
Speaker 4: get there.
Speaker 5: Nikki's feeling all right, Nikki.
Speaker 2: I thought Nikki's gotta finish up the show. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I don't think I'll get to that. I uh, it
Speaker 2: does feel good though, to you know. Kim Kardashian DMed
Speaker 2: me yesterday.
Speaker 4: What it feels like the lottery for like every morning
Speaker 4: You're like, what is gonna?
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 5: What did Kim say?
Speaker 2: Kim was so nice and wrote, I mean I could
Speaker 2: read our conversation verbatim.
Speaker 5: I think I will, But aren't you not supposed to
Speaker 5: do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But I just feel like, yeah, I won't. I won't.
Speaker 2: I did it last night on stage, but it wasn't
Speaker 2: like a taping. But because she didn't say anything that
Speaker 2: would be ever weird, like you just.
Speaker 5: Said how amazing you weren't how funny?
Speaker 2: Like if she would get offended by Like I was
Speaker 2: thinking about this, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have
Speaker 2: done that, And I go, well, if if she would
Speaker 2: get offended by me reading that, Like she's got to
Speaker 2: know that if she said something to me, I would
Speaker 2: not do that with something that was not good, you know,
Speaker 2: like she I hope she trusts me that I'm not
Speaker 2: just reading this because she sent me something. It's like
Speaker 2: I discerned that it was something that is readable, but
Speaker 2: I do I knew that. I know that there is
Speaker 2: a part of her that's probably like this pitch'll just
Speaker 2: read anything I send her, which I would not do, Kim,
Speaker 2: if you ever hear this.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I remember she wrote like Kanye had p Diddy, Yes, right,
Speaker 4: and now when she wrote something like that something like that,
Speaker 4: I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 1: She just said a great job, which she had.
Speaker 2: I mean, she had to like write a Nikki like
Speaker 2: she had to type it in like I'm thinking about
Speaker 2: like her like beautiful nails, clicking on it like typing nikki,
Speaker 2: Oh is.
Speaker 1: It two k's or one?
Speaker 2: Like yeah, and then she had to go to it
Speaker 2: and then she had to go to like mess like
Speaker 2: it's like a lot of things that I was just like, oh.
Speaker 2: And then she just wrote me a really nice message
Speaker 2: saying congrats. And then I was like, no you Yeah,
Speaker 2: I said, I was trying to make eye contact with
Speaker 2: you the whole damn show because I wanted to tell
Speaker 2: you you fucking killed and you like you were just
Speaker 2: so impressive, and I said, which was no surprise because
Speaker 2: of how elite your SNL monologue was but you really
Speaker 2: killed it. And I'm and she was like, I don't
Speaker 2: know how you do that. It's like it's it's low
Speaker 2: key abuse or something like. She was like, it's abuse,
Speaker 2: and I go, you do know how I did it
Speaker 2: because you did it. I go, you did it too,
Speaker 2: and you did it so well. And then she was
Speaker 2: like she hearted that, and I just wrote like she
Speaker 2: said something else, and I said, we are brave.
Speaker 1: Exclamation mark, and she hearted it.
Speaker 2: So that was the end of it, right, But like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but you know, ironic thing. The ironic thing is is
Speaker 2: that so many times people call that family not talented,
Speaker 2: like why are they famous? And I didn't even think
Speaker 2: about that kind of notion about them, even though I
Speaker 2: literally read jokes about Kim that were pitched to me
Speaker 2: this week to maybe do that we're like addressing that
Speaker 2: they don't have talent, and I literally wrote in that
Speaker 2: like you are so talented, because that was talented to
Speaker 2: be able to. First of all, whatever happened at the beginning,
Speaker 2: which by the way, the boo I met someone who
Speaker 2: knows who started it and they were starting.
Speaker 1: It as a joke.
Speaker 2: Wow, and it caught fire like it just like it
Speaker 2: was a gasoline over the crowd and a little bit
Speaker 2: of both, because they were just ready to boot, Like
Speaker 2: it could have been anyone that wasn't that is like
Speaker 2: associated with.
Speaker 1: That kind of part of our pop culture.
Speaker 5: Sure were.
Speaker 3: They were booing like football teams and stuff too that
Speaker 3: were anti Patriots.
Speaker 1: I thought it might be a swift rid.
Speaker 3: I booed Tom because he said fuck the cults. I
Speaker 3: booed him. I was the only one booish, sure.
Speaker 1: Like that was the kind of night it was.
Speaker 2: It was boo heavy, but like she got fucked on
Speaker 2: that boo and it was some comedian, some asshole comedian
Speaker 2: that did it as a joke and didn't expect her
Speaker 2: to catch on, and it wasn't because I thought it
Speaker 2: was a swifty thing. Like I was like disappointed on
Speaker 2: behalf of Swifties, for like, if that's what this is about.
Speaker 2: But I think it was just got out of hand.
Speaker 2: It was just people being jealous obviously of her fame
Speaker 2: and her power and all the like.
Speaker 1: That was what it was. But for her to like not.
Speaker 2: Address it but kind of like look like a little
Speaker 2: disappointed like that, she just handled it so well and
Speaker 2: then she sat there the rest of the fucking show.
Speaker 2: She went up like almost right after me. I think
Speaker 2: there was one after me, and then she went up.
Speaker 2: That's a long She sat there for two hours whenever.
Speaker 2: A lot of people that made appearances in the crowd
Speaker 2: left after their appearances. They didn't want to say the
Speaker 2: whole show because they had other shit to do. Kim
Speaker 2: Kardashians other shit to do. She had to go to
Speaker 2: the Metcala the next day. She probably flew the Red Eye,
Speaker 2: but she sat there and waited for Tom Brady's set,
Speaker 2: and I thought that was really.
Speaker 1: Cool of her.
Speaker 3: You can think what you want about Kim, but in
Speaker 3: order to get that famous, you need to have talent.
Speaker 3: You can't get that famous. There's a lot of hot,
Speaker 3: rich girls who are not as famous as Kim Kardashian,
Speaker 3: and it's because they don't have the talent that she does.
Speaker 3: It's just impossible to do.
Speaker 2: And just because the talent doesn't look like singing or
Speaker 2: dancing or acting or whatever you think it does like
Speaker 2: it is about sustaining a public image, captivating. It takes
Speaker 2: hard work to look at interesting.
Speaker 3: Is a talent being yes, doing things like just not
Speaker 3: making mistakes at public appearances, and you know planning and
Speaker 3: your whole public image. Her whole job is to cultivate
Speaker 3: a public image. Yes, and that's a talent and that.
Speaker 1: Comes from her.
Speaker 2: Yes, she might hire people to help her with her image,
Speaker 2: but she's hiring those people. She's the taste maker at
Speaker 2: the top. So I will never I'll always be in
Speaker 2: her sight. That ass that like, no, I mean that
Speaker 2: the body.
Speaker 1: Is insane, and that asked that that.
Speaker 5: But what's your public image? Mine? Guy to eats chicken
Speaker 5: salad with his hands.
Speaker 1: And with that we have to go.
Speaker 5: Cultivated you so much. That happened before I would hope.
Speaker 5: So my.
Speaker 2: Story, ever was when one day I got us tie food.
Speaker 2: We were our hotel room. We only had one hotel room.
Speaker 2: The other one wasn't clean yet, so we were just
Speaker 2: hanging in the hotel room before.
Speaker 1: Night of shows.
Speaker 2: The ty Food arrives. There's no utensils. I go down
Speaker 2: to go get some and I come back up and
Speaker 2: he is using the ice tongs, which is as.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but it was just.
Speaker 2: It's a big but I always uses the coffee stirs,
Speaker 2: use a shop stet and that really does work.
Speaker 1: But that was the next level and I loved it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, hands. I've seen a lot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, tongs is a strong move because they're on there.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I guess they use them with ice.
Speaker 2: The huh tom Brady, Tom Brady, that's what we're calling you.
Speaker 1: Okay, gotta go. Don't be killing you guys. Check me out.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be in Vegas this weekend with David Spade,
Speaker 2: tons of torn Eidsnicky Glazer dot com. There's the song.
Speaker 2: There's a special spread the word. I love you guys
Speaker 2: so much, love you, busties. I'll never get big enough
Speaker 2: for you. I promise a lot of besties have been like, please,
Speaker 2: don't change, never forget us.
Speaker 1: I would never. I love you.
Speaker 3: Don't be calling and I would never just texting Kim
Speaker 3: K right now?
Speaker 5: Yeah, KIMK who.
Speaker 2: You're my only best I love you guys. Okay, see
Speaker 2: you
Speaker 1: Four